I didn’t get to do BMX today because I was MOBBED by about 20 preteen boys who surrounded me demanding stories - “Tell us more about Cousin Willy!” “Can you explain what the Illuminati was? I didn’t hear you before!” “So what are exorcisms in Morocco like?” - and one kid almost peed himself because he refused to go to the bathroom in case he missed something I said.

I was so nervous before the summer began. I thought I would be terrible at this job, because I’m shy and awkward and lack pep. But I’m actually having an amazing time and these kids are brilliant, when they’re not rubbing poop on the walls. I wonder what sullen, suspicious 11 year-old me would think if he saw me now.

Now that I’ve had my full hype about the new episode it’s time to Feel Shit About School Again™