i'm-not-a-joke

“GUUUUYS! I GOT MORE STUFF FOR THE AUCTIONS!!!! O-M-G! U GUYS R GONNA LOVE THESSSSE!!!”

                                          ~THIS IS A JOKE.~

WE FIGURED IT OUT: THE THEORY + THE EVIDENCE

Okay so Sarah is gonna reblog this and add to it but anyway

Theory: The meteor crew is being controlled/manipulated by Vriska.

Evidence:  (be warned, this is long as fuck)

Throughout Act 5, Vriska and John are the only two currently-alive characters to address any other character as “miss.” Including all characters, It’s them and one line from Feferi. And since John talked to Vriska so much, I feel pretty confident in saying that it’s a Vriska thing. Prior to Act 4, he didn’t address other characters as “miss.” At all. So yeah, probably something he picked up from a certain spidertroll.

Now, let’s look at the upd8.

Hmmmmm.

That’s hardly conclusive evidence, and I’d be tempted to dismiss it.

If there wasn’t more than that.

I’m sure we can all agree Terezi was weirdly passive in this upd8.

(Terezi since when are you this hesitant)

(and since when do you trust Vriska that much)

(what the fuck)

Basically Terezi seemed pretty out of character. Especially concerning Vriska. Hmmmmmm.

And considering Karkat’s weird emotional attachment to the leadership role- literally since the beginning of act 5, mind you-

Et cetera, et cetera, the guy has a bit of an obsession here. Which makes it really unlikely, even considering character development, that-

Okay first of all since when does Karkat actually know or care what’s best for him. Second of all, this sort of acceptance is really weird for him. Third of all, how many exclamation points was that I wonder?

Eight.

(note: if karkat is being controlled, the control on him seems to be weaker than the others.)

Hmmmmmmm.

“But if they’re being controlled, we’d be able to see the little Scorpio sign on their heads!”

Well. Let’s think.

Karkat isn’t always the most accurate judge of character but when he’s right, he’s right.

That’s actually pretty accurate. Back in Act 5, Vriska was always trying to be this master manipulator. I’m pretty sure we can all agree on that. She wasn’t. In fact, one of the main differences between her and Aranea was that instead of just straight-up controlling people when she wanted something done, Aranea was patient. She subtly manipulated people into doing what she wanted them to instead of just taking control like Vriska. Let’s talk about Terezi again.

She wasn’t. It was part of Aranea’s plan to doom the timeline, everything that happened was part of Aranea’s plan (except of course getting killed by the Condesce), remember? This is from the same conversation where Aranea offered to heal Terezi’s sight. Terezi initially declined, but…

Huh. Now that’s strange.

Conclusion (which I’m pretty sure we can all agree on): she was being manipulated by Aranea in that conversation.

Do you see a scorpio sign? I don’t. Aranea was better at manipulation than Vriska, but then, she also had about three years more practice.

Wait a minute.

Oh.

Guess who’s also had three years more practice at this point?

Vriska motherfucking Serket.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Anyway, I’m pretty damn sure this isn’t just my intense need to find faults in the Vriska timeline anymore.

Something isn’t right here.

Because

really

everyone

is being

strangely agreeable

towards my least favorite spidertroll.

Conclusion: It’s highly likely that Vriska is manipulating/controlling most if not all of the meteor crew.

Want some cool stuff? Of course you want cool stuff, what kind of question is that?

Well, I want to give you cool stuff.

Did you know that if all of my followers donated the minimum $5 to my GoFundMe, I’d have enough to go with Random Acts to Nicaragua and help change the lives of kids there?

Whoa, right? And look, I know times are hard. That’s why I’m not asking you to do it for nothing. Every tier from the lowest to the highest comes with AWESOME perks! 

Not to mention: On top of the wickedly sweet perks I already have, every single person who donates will get their name and a short message of your choice written in a notebook I will give to Misha if I meet my goal. Want to tell Misha he changed your life? Sure! Want to tell him you’d crawl through ten gallons of llama spit to hear him bleat like a goat? Now’s your chance!

So go HERE to my GoFundMe and donate!

I was with my friend on the entrance of her building because we had to get ready for lunch and meet the others when this friend of hers shows up to have lunch with us??? (apparently my friend didn’t tell me a thing about it)

The thing is she set us up to be a couple but I never liked him yet he liked me and always wanted us to be a couple and I just wasn’t feeling it??? THIS WAS SOME TIME AGO but it is still awkward between us.

ANYWAY my friend went up to get something and left me with him and it was so weird because it was OBVIOUS he wanted us back together and since I didn’t want to hurt him (he is a cool guy to hang out and such) I started joking so we could change the topic???? He asked me if I was seeing someone and I (being a complete idiot) told him I was seeing someone (I WAS JOKING) and he just looked at me “whoa who got her???” and I wanted to escape from there until the elevator doors opens and comes out this tall and handsome guy in his 30′s (I KNOW HIM like he is really a sweet and nice guy) that when he sees me, winks and asks me if everything is set for tomorrow night and he says he can’t wait for it.
Now this boy told my friend I’m dating a 30 year old guy and I’m going to spend the night in his house and THANKS TO THIS there are more guys interested on me.

When all I’m going to do tomorrow is having a movie night with his daughter, boys and men give me such a headache.

Studying the Renaissance
  • Teacher:The greatest masters are of course Donatello, Leonardo, Raffaello, and Michelangelo.
  • Me:*conceal don't feel*
  • Everyone in the class:*looks at me*
  • Me:...
  • That bastard friend:*starts laughing pulling an elbow*
  • Another friend that can't stay quiet:The ninja turtles!
  • Me:...
  • Me:...
  • Me:Fuck you all I'm trying to focus here
people reacting to me in public

customer in front of me: *has enough groceries to feed Cthulhu for forty days and forty nights*

me: r u colonising a new planet 

customer in front of me: *looks at me* *silence*

[Later]

me: *hands cookie to cashier*

cashier: oh i have to weigh that *weighs it*

me: what sumo wrestling class is it

cashier: …idk

me: oh

me: *goes back to being depressed and withdrawn*