i'm-in-a-weird-mood-today

I know I have requests to fill and fics to write and cat lawyers to draw, but i just so happened to see something on the pwkm today and I thought of something.

Miles giving Phoenix a collar.

No, no, this isn’t another one of my weird trashy textposts. I want Miles to present Phoenix with a collar post-AJ and personally put it on him. There’s nothing sexual about it. It’s simply a sign of ownership, care, commitment, love.

Now, I know this sounds weird, but bear with me for a while while I explain.

Throughout Phoenix’s life, he’s been repeatedly used, thrown about, and discarded. First came Dahlia, whom he loved with all his heart, who hated him and used him solely for the purpose of evidence disposal. Then Edgeworth who came back into his life, only to betray him and shatter his heart again when he led everyone to believe he was dead. Then came the AJ era and Kristpoph who saw him as nothing but a threat and a toy to be played with and manipulated.

Furthermore, as if this was not yet enough, throughout the seven years in which Phoenix was disbarred, he was left alone, unwanted, forgotten, when he needed help and comfort the most. Larry was nowhere to be found. Sure Maya sent him gifts, but did she ever visit? Did she ever bother to find the time to come down and make sure her best friend was doing alright? And Edgeworth, who seemed to show him such care in T&T, suddenly disappears and doesn’t come back from Europe. Phoenix goes over to “help” Miles a few times overseas, but Miles himself never put in that kind of effort to fly back to help, or even to just keep Phoenix company, to ensure that he wasn’t crying and breaking down every night because of just how awful he felt everyday.

So post-AJ, after Miles finally comes back and settles down since he’s been appointed the new Chief Prosecutor, when he and Phoenix finally start to get closer again, Phoenix finds himself unwilling to begin another relationship with him. Phoenix has been picked up and a whim and thrown aside too many times. He doesn’t want that to happen again. Hell, he doesn’t trust Miles to not do that to him again. And then Miles is at a loss. The prosecutor knows it’s largely his fault that he let this happen to Phoenix, that he personally hurt the man so many times. So he decides to leave Phoenix alone for now. But not leave him alone as in leave him completely, no. He drops the notion of a relationship so that he can properly spend time with Phoenix, to be a real friend to Phoenix for once in his life.

Some time passes before Miles finally brings the topic up again. Miles says that he understands if Phoenix refuses him again and that he will hold no grudges. This time, it is Phoenix who is most distraught. After all this time, he’s come to realise that he still loves Edgeworth, that he wants to give the man another chance, but he can’t. He cannot afford to be simply forgotten and tossed aside again. He knows he will not be able to take it.

Then Miles produces a box and presents it to Phoenix. It’s a velvety square box, one that looks like it would hold a necklace of some sort. Phoenix is hesitant, but he accepts it, and very slowly cracks it open to take a peak. At first, he doesn’t believe what he sees, so he then opens it fully to take a good look at the gift. It’s an embroidered maroon collar, soft to the touch, with a golden tag on the front in the shape of his attorney’s badge with his name engraved on it.

Phoenix doesn’t understand.

Miles looks nervous before he begins to explain, and then Phoenix finally begins to understand.

Miles had Pess, the only thing Phoenix had ever seen Miles wholeheartedly care for and love unconditionally. To Miles, this collar was a representation of all the love and care he could ever give. Additionally, Miles knows how much Phoenix has been hurt, he knows how much he fears abandonment. The collar is a mark of ownership, of commitment, a sign that Miles was taking Phoenix in to never let him go again.

It might be a little strange, but that collar is Miles’ promise to him.

With trembling hands, Phoenix gives the box back to Miles, and the prosecutor looks disappointed. But Phoenix then quickly shakes his head and grabs Miles’ hands/wrists, asking Miles to put the collar on him. He wants Miles to do it himself. At first, Miles just looks shocked, then joy and relief washes over him and he quickly and gladly agrees.

Phoenix instinctively bows his head as Miles removes the collar from the box and gently clasps it around the attorney’s neck. Then Phoenix swallows and takes in a deep breath, trying to will his tears away. But once Miles is done, he gently pushes Phoenix’s chin up so that he could meet the lawyers eyes. Then that fond smile Miles gives him is too much and Phoenix feels the warm tears finally roll down his cheeks

i had a casual discussion about harry potter today with my parents and i’m so proud of myself for keeping a straight (ha!) face when my dad asked which one was sirius and which one was remus and i just answered: “Sirius is harry’s godfather who is a dog animagus and remus is the werewolf who marries tonks, the cool hufflepuff girl with the colorful hair and sirius dies in the 5th book whereas remus dies in the last one, together with tonks at the battle of hogwarts” HA! I’M SO GOOD AT PRETENDING TO BELIEVE IN THIS WEIRD AU MOST PEOPLE CALL CANON :D

One thing that really frustrates me is mothers glamourising that they’ve given up their lives for their children. I see so many posts like “my children are better dressed than I am”… and they’re so proud of it and I’m just like, why…. ? Kids grow out of clothes so quickly that it is stupid to buy them something that costs $60 and yourself something that’s only $10. If I’m wearing a $60 I wear it all the time? I don’t run through the mud exploring, I don’t spill food all over it. Do they not realise that their kids have no idea that you’re spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that they care nothing about?

And then sacrificing everything in their lives for their kids. I’m sorry but I just don’t get it. I understand certain things for sure, going out all the time, staying out, etc etc. but real life things? Why? Why does the fact that I have a child mean I can’t travel for a year? Have an amazing career? I refuse to let go of myself and my dreams because of my child. I refuse to glamourise that choice and become a martyr of sacrifice. My children will see me achieve my goals, and they will see that anything is possible. I will never let them become my excuse for not having what I want in my life.

“Run” Update: So... yeah.

Gonna tweak some chapters because of typos, generally shit writing, etc. and then I’m making y’all suffer through really bad Cindy fluff later today. Like… really bad. I even picked a song for it and everything because I’m complete Cindy trash.

Also, weird question. Of the people who read this fic, are y’all totally opposed to Ardyn sympathy? I know he’s a little trash monster, but I’m curious.

Tea is IMPORTANT

Hello pals. Yorkshire tea is literally my lifeline on a bad day. And today was a bad day. I woke up in a shitty mood and it all went downhill from there. Literature review writing was not the one and I couldn’t get into the lab because of some weird key drama. Eh. 

I’m PMS-ing like a mofo and I’m irrationally angry at everything and ate like ½ a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and it was a disaster and I don’t even care.

Also this image is huge and I don’t even care.

today i woke up and my body was a hive of wasps; i am empty of words yet strangled by thoughts.

the ends justify the means. the ends justify the means. if i sail myself deeper into bad things, my writing will profit. i get so much work done when my anxiety is sharper. how do normal people function. when you notice you’re gaining weight do you just eat better and work out more often. is starving it off not an option, much less the first one. the ends justify the means. i woke up and couldn’t taste my dreams. 

So I figured it was time for some fun headcanoning.


When Emma finally learns how to poof she goes completely over the top with it. 

Poofing in the middle of a crowded diner (and scaring everyone shitless) 

Poofing on top of the roof of her parent’s place (that one is actually an accident, she’s still learning the ropes)

Poofing on top of some thug that was trying to mug someone (she’s very pleased about that one actually)

And then there was that one time she wanted to show off her skills to Regina and poofed into her shower stall instead of the living room. While Regina was actually in said shower stall. Naked. (Regina wasn’t too amused, until Emma’s clothing started to soak through and she figured the situation had its possibilities)

Dear roleplayers/admins/etc that use the “rp is supposed to be fun!” excuse,

Who is it supposed to be fun for? If it’s supposed to be fun, and that’s your excuse for not including diverse characters, what does that mean? Is RP only supposed to be fun for cis het white people? 

“RP is supposed to be an escape!" 

Is it an escape from a diverse world, then? Are you escaping to a world where cis het White people are the dominant force and POC are put on the back burner? Because last time I checked, that’s a lot like the real world. And if this is your escape, why do you want to escape to a world where POC and other groups aren’t properly represented? 

Why I love the internet
  • Me: omg so many feels about such a weird specific subject I am such a loser no-one understands I can never tell anyone they would think I'm so strange I am ~forever alone~
  • Internets: No baby come here there are a million of us we've been here for years, come read all these fanfics and watch these videos and check out these graphics and listen to this podcast and read this essay I just wrote on that same subject and do you want to join our discussion group every tuesday at 10pm?

Written during the boring parts of my classes, here is a sloppy, unedited vignett in honor of Miracle Child’s 100th part.

Happy fic!Birthday, Miracle Child. May all of your creepy clowns continue to entertain us.

(As well as your creepy mind control pirates. And your creepy killer cultists. And your creepy non-violent cultists. And all of your myriads of creepy characters.)

Keep reading