I’m just thinking of steve and tony not seeing each other for a week because of work. Like, they don’t even go AWAY but they just have so much stuff to do and their schedules never align and at the end of the week one of them walks into their bedroom to find the other one there getting ready for bed and both of them just LOOK at each other and the stress immediately disappears and they just fall on the bed together in each other’s arms and actually get to sleep for the first time in a week
My mind is a warehouse of carefully organized human emotions. I lock away the things that do not serve me. I focus only on what needs to be done; the basic components of survival and the myriad things I must manage throughout the day.
i’m sure michael hated luke because he was jealous, he was afraid of luke taking his best friend and probably one day boyfriend calum away from him, he didn’t want to lose calum and he saw luke as a menace. and i’m sure, even tho luke and michael worked things out and ended up becoming close friends, michael never stopped being jealous until ashton came into their lives and he saw the way luke looked at him, the same way michael himself looks at calum. that’s it and no one can convince me otherwise
This series has taught me so many important lessons and showed me to look at situations in different perspectives since the world is not always black and white. Reading the Addicted series and joining the Fizzle Force are probably the best decisions I’ve ever made (no joke). Everyone in the fandom has been nothing but nice to me. For that, I’m forever grateful. Thank you so much Krista & Becca for this amazing amazing series and the enchanting cast of characters and for being the kindest and cutest authors in the world who interact with us daily. *big hugs* <3
Once when I was very young, young enough that we still lived in the trailer and my dad still worked retail at Bud’s before he opened the computer store so that means two or three, I walked into the living room calling for my parents.
I had forgotten that my dad would have gone into work. I called for my mom. I couldn’t find her. No one was home.
I collapsed crying on the floor because I thought my parents had been kidnapped. This was falling into utter despair.
Eventually, my mom, who was asleep on the couch under a blanket that perfectly camouflaged her against the couch pattern, woke up to me on my knees banging my fists into the carpet two feet from her and crying about how she’d been kidnapped.
Why did possibly three year old me know that people could get kidnapped? Why did I think my parents had been kidnapped?
don’t get me wrong, I love my boys , wouldn’t be alive today without em’ but…. I honestly do not recall what having a life feels like.. apparently it’s rather blissful. Sun on your face, birds chirping and shit, sounds nice.
There are certain things you can’t come back from. I learned this a long time ago when I started to realize that permanence isn’t something that only applies to physical objects like shattering a vase. There were certain emotional permanences, ones that turned me into the shattered pieces of a once whole vase. No matter how well you glue the pieces, the vase will never look the same as it once did. I was thrust back into a world that’s better and safer, but I felt like I couldn’t belong. Maybe it was PTSD, but those years of Armageddon completely changed every last cell in my body. A scuffle made me reach for the place where my gun used to be, and often the scuffles were just kids running down the street or someone walking their dog. Domesticity couldn’t be more unsettling, and the fact that a simple lifestyle was unsettling was unsettling on its own.
After the cure was discovered, several towns all around the world became safe havens. Some major cities were still being cleared out, and a lot of forests and miscellaneous areas were still considered “infested”, and in the process of being cleared. But order was establishing quickly, and there were even kids running around who had no clue what the world was like not too long ago. I found a small random town in Arizona to settle into, and despite the fact that it was safe and filled with so many happy people, it felt impossible to pretend the past few years of my life never happened. I’ve witnessed innocent people getting ripped apart, and I’ve had to kill people so they wouldn’t kill me first - those are things that are impossible to wash away. I couldn’t look at my hands without remembering how many shots I’ve fired and how many knives I’ve dug into flesh and bone. I was still scared all the time, but it somehow felt easier to just think these things rather than say them aloud. Saying them aloud would probably cause people to look at me with a glint of fear in their eyes. It would probably make me more afraid of myself, too.
I listened to the sound of my feet on the sidewalk, seeing a small splatter of faded red on the pavement where the city likely tried to scrub away blood that had been sitting on that sidewalk for years. I chuckled and shook my head at the sight, the fact that people tried so hard to hide this great misfortune in human history. But no matter how hard they scrubbed, that splatter of blood will always sit there. As I turned my gaze up towards the stores along the road, looking for a store to pick up some tools, I found my eyes landing on something else. It was an AC/DC shirt, my favorite AC/DC shirt that I’d had for years. But I gave it away as a joke, and as I turned my eyes up to the face of the individual who wore the shirt, I completely stopped in my tracks.
When the world ends, you meet a lot of people. I’ve met more faces than I can count, but the longest amount of time I’d spent with a single human being was with the girl who loved to bicker with me. She found reasons to fight with me all the time, and I probably threatened to shoot her way too many times. But we also managed to blast our way through anything, to talk about the people we once were with each other, to be able to rely on each other always. She was the one thing I wanted to protect, and that’s what I did - up until the day I didn’t. I thought she was dead. This whole time, I thought that I’d let her die because I was too stupid to find a better way out of a bad situation. But, there she was. Walking in the same shirt I’d given to her back when we hardly knew each other, walking towards me without a bow strapped to her back. I didn’t speak - because quite honestly, I couldn’t - and luckily I didn’t have to, because her eyes lifted to meet mine.
today was my last first day of school. of undergrad, anyway, and i’m still undecided about grad school so for now… last first. and first last, of many, many lasts to come this year. it’s all so incredibly bittersweet, and i want to be okay to experience it and to love it and to live it, fully, one last time, in this place that became a home with these people that became a family. i am trying to look at the bright sides of things, even through the insane schedules, hard work, anxiety, stress, whatever else. through it all, god is so good, always. i just need to keep remembering it. i need to hang on to that feeling i had on the west coast with the sun setting and the salt air and the wind whipping my hair around and my heart singing a song. i want to love more fiercely than i ever have before, i want to feel more deeply, laugh harder, smile bigger. i want to let go of all of this sadness and anger and negativity. i might not know who i was before depression, before an eating disorder, before anxiety, before abuse - but i know who i want to be after. and she is smiling and laughing and deep breathing and smelling like soil and eating good food and kissing whoever she wants and living intentionally and loving incredibly. here’s to senior year. may it be the best damn year yet.
aye. it’s not even like I have that many notps (more like there just are too many disgusting canon pairings :P), but it’s just hard as a non-multishipper :’( seriously, no one can love and understand derek likes stiles does, pfff.
And also the other way around: nobody else is able to understand Stiles, to understand everything he does and why he does it. To understand how brave and selfless and smart he is. They’re made for each other. They’re the perfect combination.
You know what makes me utterly emotional? When Stiles was talking to Lydia and saying “sometimes there’s other things you wouldn’t think would be a good combination end up turning out to be a perfect combination. Like two people, together, who nobody ever thought would be together, ever”, he wasn’t talking about her. I mean, he thought he was. But in the end? Life really gave him what he was talking about. Stiles and Derek are two people who nobody -not even themselves- ever thought would be a good combination. But they are. It end up turning out to be the perfect one.
And how could I ship something else when the perfect combination is right in front of me?
I’m looking at random videos from tonight as they come in and I saw one of New Romantics and now I feel like crying because I love Taylor so freaking much and New Romantics is my favorite song by her and I’ll never get to see it live or her and yeah
Basically videos of New Romantics always make me really emotional so I try to avoid them
So we’re doing this thing in AP Lang where we watch commercials and do the Logos Pathos and Ethos and it’s really hard for me because I’m not easily swayed by emotion like
“ohhh look at this cool car, so fast and shiny” yeah ok but I don’t need one of those I already have one????
Watching this weekly vlog from one of my favourite youtubers every week has gone from being amazing to me almost breaking down crying whenever they go somewhere in London where I’ve been and where I kinda know my way around. This is painful. I want to go back home.
The cool thing about life is that at that specific moment in time, anything could seem like the end of the world. But when you look back at it, it’s just like “lol, remember that one time in my life when…”
Like I’m literally here listening to Monster and LAUGHING at the emotional baggage that song carried for me.
That shit was 6 years ago.
So in 6 years, I’m gonna be listening to The Party, or Cruel, or Strange Mercy, or fucking The Strangers, or Surgeon, or Digital Witness, or Cheerleader- anyway! My point is that in just a few years, this is something I’ll be laughing about.
Although deep down, I’ll always feel strongly, it’ll just be a funny memory in the back of my head.
aiden was probably lowkey emo when daniel's contract was done bc his new bodyguard doesn't take him to mcdonalds.
cleaning out my inbox and i find this and??? how did i miss this??? TAYLOR THIS MAKES ME REALLY EMOTIONAL TBH. DANIEL AND AIDEN WERE THE MOST UNCONVENTIONAL BROTP OF ALL TIME AND YET ONE OF MY FAVORITEST. I LOVE THEM TO DEATH WOW daniel loves and cares for aiden so much ok even though his contract was over you know daniel was looking out for him and glaring at the new bodyguard every so often you kNOW