i'm-a-little-on-the-fence-about-this-one-but-whatever

So @eileenthequeen, I saw your tags about the goat thing on my Rromani FAQ post and it reminded me to tell you guys the story about my ridiculous goat so here we go: 

When I was little, my family was living in New Jersey for a while (USA) and we had a farm. Idk if it’s just my family or if it’s normal or whatever but we’ve always had horses and I had a goat friend named Rochelle (Chelley). Now, this goat was fucking fearless. I had a swing set with this totally awesome slide, and Chelley would literally climb the ladder and go down the slide. But that is not what this story is about. 

So, one night we had this ridiculous storm. It knocked out the power where we lived, trees fell down and broke the fences on the horse paddocks, and one tree in particular caught fire because of lightning. The horses bolted into the woods, so my folks went and rounded up the neighbours to help track down the horses. They also noticed that Chelley the Goat was missing. She had been in a stall in the barn that night, so they figured she got scared and somehow managed to jump the wall and get out of the barn. Not surprising for a goat who can climb a fucking ladder, tbh. 

They looked for the animals all night and managed to find all of the horses (I think we had like twelve at the time???), but there was not a single sign of this fucking goat. However, my mother, in all her fucking practicality, had put a fucking collar on my goat with a name tag and our address and phone number (who the hell puts a collar and a name tag on a goat??? daje, that’s who). So she figured they would call it a night and if someone found her, they would call. 

Flash forward to the next afternoon. 

My mother gets a phone call from somebody at the Delaware Memorial Bridge toll booth authority or whatever they’re called. Chelley. My motherfucking goat. This badass cabra motherfucker had cROSSED THE FUCKING DELAWARE MEMORIAL BRIDGE (FOUR MILES AWAY DOWN I-95) AND WAS BEING HELD AT THE FUCKING BRIDGE AUTHORITY UNTIL SOMEBODY COULD PICK HER UP. 

For reference, here is a picture of the bridge that was conquered by a fucking nanny goat.