Ryan having so much faith in Ray always cheering him on, encouraging him when everyone thinks it's impossible Ryan believes if anyone can do it/ make it happen it's gonna be Ray // I don't if this is what you wanted but ye
FAHC Ray with depression and anxiety is where I’m comin from and hear me out
-Ray who kinda realizes that– oh. He’s a sniper, but what else? He doesn’t have anything past the ability to hold a gun– that’s who he is and /that’s it/. He’s the best sniper there is, but that’s all there is to him.
-Which, of course, isn’t true. And even before Ryan really broke out of his Vagabond shell, he knew that.
- Things really kicked off on one of Ray’s “better days”. It was really a dumb burst of impulsiveness that didn’t last more than an hour. He just sucked it up, told himself to quit whining, and spoke to the Vagabond for the first time.
-”Hey, can you teach me how you do that twirly fighty thing with the knife?”
-His thought process, at least for a little bit, was “hey, if I learn how to do other stuff maybe I’ll be able to really make a person out of myself”
-That quickly changed after about an hour when he realized that /holy shit, i just asked the fucking Vagabond to train me in shit what the fuck how did my anxiety let me do that/
-Because at the time, Ryan was still the Vagabond and very much still not a person himself. Newly into the Fakes, just recently moved in, hardly spending any time at the house except to get jobs from Geoff and to get off the radars.
-Ray had no fucking idea why the Vagabond agreed but honestly if it wasn’t 11p.m. and he didn’t lock his room at night, he would have told him that it was off, he’s sorry, why the fuck did he think that was a good idea,
-It’s five in the morning when there’s a knock on Ray’s door and suddenly the Vagabond is standing in his room, handing him a knife and telling him to meet him on the roof in ten minutes
-Ray is half awake and scared shitless because A.) /I’m literally useless with everything but a sniper rifle and now the fucking Vagabond is going to watch me fail and be stupid oh god anxiety/ and B.) the Vagabond just handed him a knife and told him to be on the fucking roof in ten minutes and he can’t even see he’s so tired
-But he meets him up there regardless because you don’t just bail on the Vagabond
-He gets out onto the roof and the first thing he sees is a knife headed straight to his throat
-He just barely steps out of the way before another is thrown, just barely not hitting his side. He looks up, suddenly now Very Awake, and there’s the fucking Vagabond, hands in his pockets like he didn’t just try to murder Ray
-”You’re not alert enough.”
-It’s five something in the morning but it is common knowledge that the Vagabond probably doesn’t sleep ever so Ray lets that slip– he wouldn’t know that people get tired in ungoldly hours in the morning
-The ‘training’ goes a lot like that– a whole lot of Ray not really grasping the subject and “You’re not trying hard enough”
-Which is a method that would work for someone like Michael, who took criticism as a challenge. but goddamnit it was five thirty in the morning and Ray just felt like /shit/. The Vagabond kept passive aggressively yelling at him and he was tired and it seemed like knife-fighting was yet /another/ thing he was shitty at and can he just go home? Please?
-There comes a point at 6:30 where Ray just snaps. He wasn’t getting the concept, and yes @ universe he gets it he’s useless. So he just huffs and sits down after nearly tripping over his own feet to try and get this twirling thing right because that’s it, he’s done, he can’t do it, he’s the biggest failure, he–
-It takes a second but suddenly there’s someone sitting in front of him, knives forgotten on the floor,
-Because Ryan has suddenly realized that he is in fact the worst piece of shit ever.
-He’s never /trained/ someone before but how he was trained was Not Pretty and he thought he was toning it down a lot?? (He was, but not enough sorry buddy) And oh shit Ray looks like he’s about to cry??? I’m so sorry please don’t cry?? (And just like that the Vagabond facade has suddenly slipped and he’s trying his hardest to keep it up but he’s just so concerned because oh shit I was too harsh I’m so sorry)
-Ryan doesn’t get a word out– he still doesn’t do emotions too well, he’s learning but it takes him time to get words– before Ray’s suddenly ranting because “I’m not good at fucking anything and I’m so fucking useless and the crew could do without me and i can’t even fucking throw a knife and now you’re not really yelling at me but i’m a fucking sack of shit that takes things personally and–”
-And that’s when Ryan uses his thumb and rubs at the edge of his mask– a nervous habit he’s developed– “Ray, you can’t beat yourself up like that. I was too harsh and I’m sorry. This took me years to get down. Everyone starts somewhere.”
-While he’s mentally kicking himself because that meant to sound so much more worried and concerned but he can’t emotion properly like a normal human, Ray’s brain just does a huge 180 bc A. that’s the most the Vagabond’s every spoken to him and B. the Vagabond sounds like a big soft wuss
-And even after Ray gets a whole lot better with knives and starts calling Ryan his boyfriend instead of the Vagabond, Ryan always makes sure to be what he calls ‘soft’ with Ray
-Yes Ray can hold his own in a fight now but Ray is also extremely precious and delicate underneath and still lets things get to him but now Ryan is there to reassure him that if anyone can do it, it’s you
Hey guys I’m really irresponsible and I’m heading down to Ponycon but because I’m irresponsible I have my room covered but basically no money for meals and I don’t want to just mooch off my conmates for the entire thing.
So in order to earn my way, till Monday I’m gonna open up $15 black and white, inked commissions, mostly since I won’t have access to my regular drawing programs. I’m willing to do both SFW and NSFW for this!