Richard Armitage is your neighbor who lives a completely double life. He has the most delightful, award-winning garden in the neighborhood and is always working on it. He’s the type of guy who hums to himself as he pulls weeds and always offers you a fresh tomato, right from the vine.
But he’s also the guy who will dress up entirely in leather and walk you around on a leash for his amusement. He has a room full of real freaky shit that had to be custom-ordered from Germany. He’s always got at least one bandage covering a wound somewhere on his body and while everyone thinks they’re from the thorns on his rose bushes, they’re actually from sharp fingernails or a pinch between the links of a chain.
Your neighbor Richard Armitage seems boring to you. He’s a simple, middle-aged man who, despite being otherworldly handsome, lives alone with his plants and a fat, old beagle that lounges in the sun while your neighbor works diligently to cultivate his spaghetti squash. He tips his hat at women as they walk by and always has his recycling separated into the correct bins without even so much as a junky supermarket circular out of place. He’s dull by all accounts.
But if he hadn’t soundproofed the walls of his basement immediately after moving in a few years ago, you’d know different.