i'm vomitting

Hey to all those people telling people “ it’s not so bad, just power through the cramps” when they're on their period because it’s not an excuse to miss school/work etc.!

I had bad cramps today, but I tried to “power through it” and went to class anyways, even though my grandmother had to drive me because I couldn’t walk to the bus.

I tried to “power through it” when I started to feel like I was going to throw up in the middle of my lecture, leaving to take a walk outside in the cold to try and clear my head, even though walking made my right side feel as though it was being ripped in two.

I tried to “power through it” when I started getting cold sweat all over my body, taking off my sweater and then putting it back on two seconds later because my body couldn’t decide if it was hot or cold.

 I tried to “power through it” when spots started to appear in my vision, and just kept walking towards the exit.

I tried to “power through it” when I started to dry heave, and started walking faster.

I tried to “power through it” when my ears started ringing and the spots took over my vision and I was so so hot but shivering and my side felt on fire and twisted into knots and stabbed all at once.

I tried to power through it to the point where I collapsed in the middle of my college hallway. A stranger brought me to Outreach Services, where I lay on the floor, vomiting, for an hour until somebody could pick me up and take me home.

The school paramedics told me that I had passed out because I put too much stress on my already taxed body. My body was taxed because of hormonal fluctuations and blood loss aka my period.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. In the past when I’ve had cramps like this, I’ve stayed in bed and eaten strawberries and watched MASH all day.

So don’t you DARE tell me that you should “power through the cramps and do it anyways”. Powering through made me pass out. Powering through made me have to be wheeled out of the school in a wheelchair because I couldn’t keep my balance to walk. Powering through made my grandmother with osteoporosis and a tendency to panic have to come pick me up from school and help me up the stairs and almost break her hip when I started to collapse backwards on the front steps. Powering through made my 13 year old brother have to supervise me while I took a bath because I was afraid I would pass out and drown (he was super sweet about it actually; we closed the curtain and he read me Voyage of the Dawn Treader). Powering through made my mother who works to support our family pretty much on her own have to take time off work to come home and make sure I was okay.

In conclusion; If someone feels crappy because of their period cramps, leave them alone. Don’t make them do things anyways, because you might make it worse. And definitely don’t make them feel bad for not wanting to do things because of cramps; that’s the reason I even got out of bed this morning. Be nice to people on their period. Possibly buy them chocolate or painkillers. Nut don’t make them do things when they have cramps, and definitely don’t tell them “it’s nothing, power through” because cramps? Cramps can be one of the worst things you could possibly imagine.

Seriously. Fuck you all.

Sometimes it’s hard to explain to people how I simultaneously love girls so freaking much but also have internalized lesbophobia that makes it harder for me to view myself in a loving and committed relationships with a woman because of society’s fetishization of lesbians and wlw to the point where being with a girl just feels like I’m part of some kink to get straight men off

do you ever stop to think about the influence cat has had on kara? i mean, kara has trained herself to blend in ever since she landed on earth, never wanting to stick out in any obvious way. she wears glasses, she purposefully comes across as meek and relatively spineless, she even wears clothes that mask her underlying strength and beauty. 

but cat grant is one of the most observant people kara has probably ever come in contact with. she’d pick up on kara’s desire to blend in, even if she couldn’t figure out the reason behind it. all cat would see is a girl tucking her considerable beauty and intelligence behind an argyle sweater, and that just won’t do. so she needles kara about her clothes and her lack of initiative, hoping something would strike a chord. 

i like to think that despite also being supergirl, maybe kara never really knew how to to emit that confidence and assuredness in her everyday life. at least not in a human way that wouldn’t betray her alter ego. so kara rolls her eyes at the snide comments, but she also observes. she watches the way cat walks into a room, not wearing a red cape, yet still commanding respect. she listens to how cat drops that signature, flippant tone in favor of a deadly calm when she’s really trying to make a point. and she takes in the way cat stands, barely 5'5", and still somehow able to look down her nose at snapper. all of these details kara obviously tucks away, because we see them mirrored in her swagger under the influence of red kryptonite. 

but i think kara might channel cat grant more than she realizes. maybe when cat sends her for layouts and the guy she’s supposed to retrieve them from is taking too long, and kara suddenly finds her hands crossed in front of her chest and cat’s equally bored and annoyed scowl etched across her face. or when she’s at the bar and sees some poor girl stuck talking to that idiot who won’t leave her alone, so kara saunters over with her eyes narrowed and pins him with a look that promises pain, while simply asking the girl, “is he bothering you?" 

kara would hear everything cat had taught her, all the little digs about her wardrobe and how she should carry herself with more confidence, and i think she would save that knowledge for moments that demanded a leader, but weren’t worth a visit from supergirl. the moments kara danvers might shy away from, but cat grant would meet head on with that knowing grin of hers. and i think that’s one of the best things cat passed along to kara before she left, confidence in herself as a woman.

As a hoseok stan

I just want to express how absolutely happy he makes me. How when I feel both physically and mentally tired, I always gain strength by watching him.

His smile - It’s easily the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. The way his eyes form into this cute crescent shape. His cheek bones doing its thing and raises so high, indicating how genuine his smiles are. And you see the way his dimples appear. Those dimples. I’m so weak for them. If I had to choose one of my favourite facial feature on him, it’s those precious, tiny and adorable dimples.

His passion - Hobi is literally so, so passionate about everything he does. He started out as a dancer, pretty well known in his hometown, Gwangju. Now, we all know his dream is to be a superstar and that’s why he went to Seoul alone to train for his idol debut, just for people to watch him perform. He trained so hard to be a rapper, which he were formerly not in touch with. And look how much he has progressed. Not solely rapping, he writes his lyrics and continue to upgrade himself by participating in producing, which I cannot be anymore proud of.

His personality - He is the brightest and kindest person I’ve come across. He is not afraid of showing his affection to people around him. From little things like giving them hugs, to things like staying behind to practice with the members if they ever needs help. How he plays so well with the maknae line and how he becomes a pillar of support to the hyung line. He is just so dependable. The way he treats armys really kills me. He is never stingy with his kind words, his loving gaze, his endless aegyo. He gives me so much that I’m embarrassed to not be able to give him more. He gives me so much happiness that I’m saddened that I won’t get to tell him bout this magical feeling he makes me feel.

Hoseok is so precious and deserves all the love in the world. I want him to know that it is okay to feel tired and restless. I want him to know that his well-being is so important and that he don’t have to put on a cheery and happy persona all the time. He can show his weakness, and I will still love him the same.

If I ever get to meet hoseok, I wish I can tell him how amazing he is. I wish I can tell him how loved he is.

Okay but imagine this concept: Iwaizumi with a huge old female dog like she’s almost his height and is the love of his life and the entire seijou team is in tears because hunky iwa mothering a Godzillaish dog and did I tell you that oiks is literally her bed like she will suffocate him just sleeping on him cause she’s been doing that ever seen she was a pup and oh my god someone stop me just beefy iwaizumi calling this giant ass dog princess I can’t even

8

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Okay now that states are reporting in and all this shit is actually real I’ll admit it: I’m fucking terrified Donald Trump will be our next President.  When he first threw his hat in the ring I thought “oh yeah okay fuck off whatever”.  That has led to where we are, rn, waiting to see how fucked these next 4 years are about to be.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Please wake me up from this…then again, don’t.

Sometimes I try really hard to talk myself out of such intense feelings about Anakin Skywalker, like, SELF, HE CHOSE TO MURDER A ROOM FULL OF CHILDREN WITH HIS LASER SWORD and all those other really horrible decisions he made, he is responsible for those choices and all that shit he did for 20+ years, but also I just think of how intensely he cared and how much he probably low key wanted to die for all those 20 years but nobody who could kill him would do it already and how he was the shining star that fell so far, how he was so beautiful and that beauty was ruined by his fall, how he loved so passionately and he genuinely wanted to do good and he’s such a disaster, he’s so awkward and obsessive and whiny and need and so emotional and he really did try and he spent so long feeling like he wasn’t doing anything right, he wasn’t the Jedi he was supposed to be, he wasn’t the husband he was supposed to be, he wasn’t the best friend he was supposed to be, he lived with such awful demons and they consumed him and he made his own choices and yet, in the end, he still wanted to do good, he wanted to come back, and I understand why Obi-Wan accepted him again, because he’s Anakin Skywalker, he was so full of light and life, he just shone to look at, that so many of his faults stemmed from being haunted and he was adorable and charming in his awkwardness and I, too, have forgiven him for murdering the Jedi and the roomful of children with his laser sword because there’s not a single bone in Anakin’s body that’s capable of not 100% feeling everything he feels, including the desire to finally come home again.

Pre-Reaper Reyes being a good person who cares about his people and is a brother(/possibly father) figure to young Jesse is SO important to me, particularly because it’s pretty damn clear that Blackwatch did all the dirty work Overwatch didn’t want to be associated with. And let me tell you how bored I am by the concept that in order to be willing to get your hands dirty you must be a fundamentally horrible person.

Gabriel Reyes was a good man, given a shit job he didn’t want, running black ops that the UN and Overwatch were too pretty and pristine to be associated with - and he got shit done.

If nothing else, he and Blackwatch at the very least extended a hand to a lost, probably angry seventeen-year-old kid with a talent for killing who would have gone to maximum security and come out a hardened monster and gave him the chance, instead, to be a hero. To do something good and real in the world.

So sure, I guess, make Reyes a monster all you want, I just think that’s boring as hell.