This is probably absolute trash, but my half conscious mind liked it so enjoy the garbage. xo.
Neil kissed his wrist, a place where demons hid and memories lingered with specters of their own, the raised lines on his skin pale from the daily use of the armbands, now visible under the rooms slanted glow. It was painful, it was tender. It was everything Andrew Minyard never expected out of life, had given up hope on receiving long before he knew the true cruelties of the world.
He flipped them over carefully so he could be on top, still succeeding in holding onto whatever small amount of raw control he had left as Neil’s lips broke peacefully away from his skin and into a content smile that made his pulse jump.
He hated him.
He hated how much Neil trusted him, how much he himself has come to trust the man beneath him in return. But more than that, he hated the way Neil was content with whatever Andrew had in mind, knowing that he would keep him safe, that he would be careful with him. Neil had come to be okay with almost anything Andrew decided when it came to this- them. It left him vulnerable and struck bare, something that was beginning to seem less and less threatening and more- he didn’t know.
“Andrew,” Neil soothed, coaxing him out of his own thoughts once more as he watched that all too familiar threat begin to settle in Andrew’s mind.
Neil knew better than to reach out and touch Andrew during times like this, where the past bled into the present. So when Neil tucked the tips of his fingers under his back, Andrew didn’t comment. Instead, he waited, hand extended over Neils lithe frame as he tracked the path of scars that began at his hips and ran all the way up to his collar bones and face.
He traced a careful hand across the Neil’s naked chest, fingers dancing from scar to scar in silent reverence as he watched the way Neil fought to keep his breathing even. The countless misshapen lines and oblong shapes were brutal memorials that commemorated a dead identity who had every right to run, each mark telling its own story of a hand crafted prose composed of pain and devastation.
Andrew often felt most grounded like this, when they faced each other not as equals who have shared in the same pain, but as individuals who have come to understand one another without the hinderance of words getting in the way.
“I want to take you apart,” Andrew muttered as he settled their bodies against one another, sitting back so he could finishing tracing a fine line down the center of Neil’s abdomen with his pointer finger as he watched surprise turn into lust. “Yes or no?”
His hand broke away from Neil’s skin to pull at one of the exposed wrists gently, freeing his fingers from their makeshift cage. Neil complied easily, letting his hand be guided from the bedding to Andrews own wrist besides his head, hesitation flickering only once in his eyes as he met Andrews gaze.
“Yes or no?” Andrew whispered again, leaning down as Neil’s thumb connected with the first row of mended skin.
Doojoon: You’ve all waited a long time, right!! There were a lot of different things being said, but we wanted to be careful until we were completely sure! We’re so, so sorry for making you wait! This is the real start!! Although I think this path will be even rougher and more dangerous than what we’ve experienced until now, we will take the lead so just diligently follow us without worrying! If we’re having a hard time and we stop at some point, please give us a push from behind! It won’t be easy, but let’s all get through this together!! Have a good day and always be careful of catching a cold. Let’s all meet soon!!!!!
Junhyung: Since we achieved our biggest goal of ‘let’s be together no matter what happens’, even if the days ahead won’t be simple, I think I can accept it joyfully since we have you lovely people who always wait for us and miss us 😬. Although this was a very tough decision that the five us made after a lot of thinking, I know there will definitely be people who are satisfied with it and also people who will be disappointed by it. We will be filling up that space going forward, so it would be great if you could keep watching over us. I sincerely thank President Hong Seung Sung as well as our Cube Entertainment family for bringing us out into the world 🙏🏻. The weather is cold so be careful not to catch a cold and I hope you have a good day 👋👋👋 #Aroundus Uploaded by Yong Junhyung who wishes for you to always be with us by our side
Yoseob: Please support the new start of the five of us. We need your support and love. I first want to apologize to our B2utys who were probably the most anxious in the midst of all that was being said and also say thank you for waiting for us,, I also sincerely thank President Hong Seung Sung and Cube Entertainment who made the five us and allowed us to stand where we are now. I don’t know what will happen going forward. But I’m not afraid! Around US will work hard to give joy and happiness to you all.
Gikwang: We have started anew once again at Around US. I first want to thank the many fans who like me and cherish me as well as the many people who have worried, supported, and waited for us until the end. Although it was a period of time that was neither short nor long if you think about it, I just once again want to thank the people who trusted and continued to wait for the five of us. The hard work and effort from the company family members, the members, and so many others that marked this start makes me very happy and excited today. I want to say thank you so much to us five members, our company, the many people who cherish us, as well as President Hong Seung Sung and the Cube Entertainment family who created us. If we didn’t receive the help of so many people, I don’t think we would have come this far or have been able to make such a big decision like this. I hope that we, and all the people around us, work hard together and keep running forward. Please continue to give us lots of love and interest and we will become five members and an Around US that always builds up together. We ask for a lot of anticipation, love, and support!!^^ Everyone, the weather is cold so be careful not to catch a cold!!! And have an enjoyable day!!!!
Dongwoon: Finally, a warm space where B2utys and BEAST can be together more closely has been created. I hope this becomes a company that we can grow together while communicating with you all more. Because we met people who are sincerely putting in their effort and their all for us, I really hope that your worries decrease, and not just us, I also hope that B2utys walk this flowery path with us. I’m sorry we made you wait so long and I really wanted to say thank you 😔.
I also want to thank President Hong Seung Sung and Cube Entertainment for allowing BEAST to exist. The president’s words to tell him if we ever need anything and that we’ve worked hard for the past 7 years are still ringing in my ears. In order to not worry or be a nuisance to him, I will work hard to become an artist that diligently runs forward.
So some of you guys might have heard about the brazilian song based on SasuSaku on @fuckyeahsasusaku post. I actually already known about it, and wanted to translate it some time, but was kind of busy. Now that I’m free, I will leave the translation with the song here:
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I treated myself today. I use a lot of ink, from simple office pens to expensive bottles of pure India ink. But the thing I find I use the most is Sharpies. Now not only can I give bold colours to future drawings but I can decorate EVERYTHING.
I’m in love.
I still can’t believe that Flint’s entire character, his whole persona, his ambitions, his entire life, is canonically based on his romantic love for another man. Literally everything that drives him stems from that love. Everything he’s trying to accomplish, everything he is. Captain Flint is literally a character created by a man who loved another man. And it’s canon.
Look, we all fucking hate Griffith for what he did at the Eclipse and what he did to Casca and Guts.
But your hate doesn’t justify going to people’s art and edits and reblogging it and/or tagging it with hate messages. Yes, the whole “Griffith did everything wrong” joke is funny and all but your hate for a fictional character is hurting real people.
Why would you do that? That’s not okay. If you want to express how much you hate Griffith do it on your own, make your own fanart and tag it whatever you like, don’t use other people’s hard work to express with your own complex for a fictional character.
i think i’ve come to the point in my life where it’s too late for me to turn into a put-myself-first person bc it’s already been “established” by pretty much everyone who knows me/has met me that i’m apparently “that” girl who has trouble saying no and goes out of her way to help everyone??
like idek why i can’t protect myself from being used and thrown around like a +1 option from a buy one, get one free deal. maybe i’m stupid or it’s bc i don’t care about myself as much as i should. i guess i’ve never felt worthy enough to even put a decent value on myself… and i think my “friends” who take advantage of me know it which is why it’s so easy for them to assume “oh, she’s too nice so she’ll forgive us” like..???
but it’s true. i can’t even get angry at anyone bc it’s really my fault. i let it happen to me. i let people freely abuse me and make it seem like it’s ok. and honestly, i really, really hate myself for it bc it’s exhausting and painful and just sad. but what are you gonna do? i don’t want to stop helping people just to protect myself and i don’t want to force myself to say “no” bc that’s not who i am either. it’s funny bc i feel so guilty whenever i even consider saying no, even when i know i’m being taken for granted and advantage of…
i guess someone always has to get the shorter end of the stick, and in my life, it just happens to be me.
I hate to make things worse, but we can all expect series 5, especially after this ambiguous, unhistorical, and strange series 4 finale. They’ve set it up already, really. We’re all talking about all of the “loose ends” that series 4 had between all three episodes…that’s how they ensure their paychecks from the BBC for next season, leave us questioning everything including ourselves only to return in two or three years with the next series and more promises of “huge payoffs” and “fulfillment.” Hell, RadioTimes has already posted a new article with an interview with Moffat & Gatiss about where they’re PLANNING to take series 5!
This isn’t over with.
This isn’t the end.
“the good news? we’re locked in.” “–you call that good news? what’s the bad news?” “our friend’s got a worm in his brain and wants to kill us, and he’s locked in here with us. i thought that much was obvious.”
Of all the texts from you I had to delete there was one I just couldn’t stand to part with.. You told me how much you cared for me, how much you wanted to be with me, that you thought we were so perfect together, and what you wanted us to have in the future. You told me that what we had couldn’t get ripped away from you, that you wouldn’t allow it.
And I almost believed you. But now I know it was bullshit like everything else
I’m so over all the bullshit. It’s the same thing every damn time. Just when I think I’ve met someone different they turn out to be just like everyone else. I’m done.
In any friendship or relationship, one person always gives more. There’s usually a giver and a taker. With us, you gave more. Heck maybe you even gave me everything. One thing I want to clear up is that I didn’t take yet you still gave. I was not a taker, but you were a giver. Now you expect me to give you everything when I can’t give any more than I have.
Today Victor mentioned thinking about using something by Andrew Lloyd Webber to skate to, and it immediately brought to mind one of my all-time favorite songs, “All I Ask of You” from Phantom of the Opera. I hadn’t really thought about the song in a while and when I pulled it up to listen to it again I was thrown completely because… this song. It’s me and Victor. Completely.
I have decided that when we do get married some day, this is our wedding song. He will not get me to budge on this. I don’t think there’s a song that talks about us and what we went through to be together more. There might be other songs that fit, but this one is the one.
Not surprisingly, it was difficult to find a version of this with two male voices, but I did manage to. There’s one word in the lyrics that goes with the musical, that I’ve heard changed in other versions. Just pretend it’s changed in this one.
I also told Victor that when we retire and skate professionally, we need to do this as a duet skate. I can’t wait for it to happen.
We’ve also been talking about the future a bit today. I can’t wait for that either.
No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I’m here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom
Let daylight dry your tears
I’m here, with you, beside you
To guard you and to guide you
Say you’ll love me every waking moment
Turn my head with talk of summer time
Say you need me with you now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That’s all I ask of you
Let me be your shelter
Let me be your light
You’re safe, no one will find you
Your fears are far behind you
All I want is freedom
A world with no more night
And you, always beside me
To hold me and to hide me
Then say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too Love me, that’s all I ask of you
Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me, each night, each morning