i'm trying to be deep again

Also, while I was writing that post, an instrumental from Beauty and the Beast came on and made me think of Howard Ashman, for whom I have more feelings than I think anyone should strictly have for someone they’ve never met. He’s one of those celebrity losses I’ve never recovered from (Carrie Fisher is going to be another, I can tell). And it’s because he meant a lot to me.

In case you didn’t know, he wrote the music and lyrics for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and parts of Aladdin along with Alan Menken. The longing to escape a world of oppression into a place that accepted you for who you truly were inside that you hear in those lyrics? “What would I give to live where you are / What would I pay to stay here beside you / What would I do to see you smiling at me / Where would we walk / Where would we run / If we could stay all day in the sun”? “And for once it might be grand to have someone understand / I want so much more than they’ve got planned”?

Those lyrics were written by a gay man with HIV/AIDS living in one of the most virulently homophobic eras of our time. It’s hard to imagine if you haven’t lived in the kind of meanness and cruelty that was commonplace at the time (and is still common in some areas of the country/world). It’s hard to imagine if you aren’t, yourself, queer. But you can hear the longing in those lines. It’s why both of those movies have come to mean something more to me in recent years, being able to look back and see the inherent queerness in the narrative, even if the characters weren’t themselves queer.

He found out he had HIV/AIDS toward the end of The Little Mermaid, became very, very sick during Beauty and the Beast, and died right before the final version of the film was released. But while they were working on BATB, when he’d just found out he had AIDS, back when it was an unequivocal death sentence, he went to Walt Disney World with a friend. WDW had a parade celebrating the release of The Little Mermaid, as they do, and he started crying watching the parade because he looked around and he saw children in love with Ariel, in love with the songs she was singing, the music he wrote, and he said he knew that even though he was going to die, his music was going to live on and mean something to people.

idk, it’s hard to remember that even as recently as 2010, which is when I was writing gay romance, it was almost impossible to imagine the world we live in now. And I’m not talking about “now” when Mike Pence and his ilk are trying to make us afraid to be ourselves again, when conservatives are fighting for the right to discriminate against us. I’m talking about the now when they have to try to do these things, when they have to fight to get away with it. because dude, when I was growing up, that was just how things were.

I think about if Howard Ashman could see how far we’ve come. I hope that somehow he knows. And I swear to God we’re never going back.

Buddies

Part 1
Part 2

Request: Hey, I was hoping that you could write an imagine for me💙 I was thinking about an sebastian stan x reader where the reader has just become famous and is always talking about their crush on Seb when she was younger, and then he notices and starts having this one night stand type of relationship with the reader, until he starts to have feelings for her. Can the reader be a really ironic, strong and unreliable person at the beginning, who doesn’t believe in true love, that at end falls in love and changes her mind?

A/N: Hiiii, sory for taking so long! I wrote a few other versions of this but decided to settle with this one. Hopefully I made the right choice. There will be a second part, probably quite a few more parts. When is the second one coming? I have no idea. Hope you enjoy reading this!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Words: 4,308

Warnings: none??


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anonymous asked:

I've noticed a trend of whenever people say something kind of unreasonable to you, you take it seriously and you're very passive and easily say "okay" to it and I get it if it's you're personality and you're young and all but I hope, like, really really hope that one day you'll think of what's good and bad for yourself and base it off of your own beliefs and stand for them rather than let other people say things that might be unreasonable and you agree. (1/4)

(2/4) because I read when people were telling you that because you practiced a different style then you should be ashamed and that was utterly ridiculous but you still kind of lowered yourself to that other person’s bad standard. And then someone said that you should reflect on if someone that’s anti-white washing is after you then think about why and you lowered yourself to the thought again and agreed to reflect even though you didn’t whitewash the characters.

(¾) and it IS important to consider why other people feel the way that they feel but some people are irrational and have bad opinions (especially on this site people can be very rude, over the top, radical and unfair) and I feel like you take them to heart equally and I feel like you might hold yourself back to much by doing that. Of course even my opinion about all of this is just an opinion so don’t even take mine in so deeply.  

(4/4) but I just wanted to say this because you’re a very young and bright artist and even if you’re not going to pursue art, you’re truthfully very talented for your age and have been/will be a very quality part of the community for as long as you choose to stay. And I just don’t want anyone to discourage your young heart from trying new things or drawing however you please. You seem kind of fragile about your art but it’s so lovely and I wish for you to take pride in it.

Hi anon, firstly, thank you so much for writing this sweet message 😄💖💕 I read it several times because this really was nice of you to write

Tumblr is incredibly opinionated and I personally think that trying to fight back will just turn ugly, so I stay passive to end the argument quickly and save my breath. Deep inside, I know I didn’t do much wrong but agree anyway coz  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have no energy to deal with on-going arguments online so I prefer to go “okay!” and bam it’s done, although I know others will disagree with this mindset 

Thank you again!!

anonymous asked:

How u know kihyun a dom and not sub??? Details plz

thinking about it, dom sounds a little too harsh like it’s not like i see him as this “daddy” dom type of person yuck it’s just…he’s a really dominant personality, who prefers to do things by himself and take control. if a problem has to be solved, kihyun would run to the front to be the first one to solve the problem by himself, because he has his own standards and he wants to fulfil them - if he’d fuck up: ok, that was his mistake BUT if you fuck up he would nag how wrong you did til he shuts you down. kihyun is also - even if it’s sometimes hard to spot - a very heartwarming and caring person, he just shows his love differently than some others may show it. he likes to take care of things, for instance if you look at his relationship to his members: kihyun basically is the dorm’s housewife, always cooking and cleaning monsta x messy dorm. he also pays attention to everyone eating up their meals, in their newest VAPP CHANNEL+ video you can also see him cleaning the member’s left overs after having a little snack. kihyun nags a lot and likes to point out if somebody fucked up, but not because he wants to hurt you, rather because he wants to draw your attention to your mistakes so you’re not re-doing them over and over again.
kihyun knows what he wants, he’s a really ambicious, honest and straightforward person, but at the same time a really caring one. he loves to take care of things (i think you can especially see this character trait of his looking at changkyun’s and his relationship but maybe that’s only my otp ass speaking right now LOL). i think in one of their recent NO EXIT broadcasts, when monsta x had this hypnosis guy coming over and they started talking about each member’s future, the psychologist said that kihyun would protect his future wife and children on all costs and minhyuk jokingly said that he would probably control them and lock them up LOL
i’m not saying that he’s that ultimate top dude, i don’t really think anybody is (maybe got7′s jaebum lol), kihyun would bottom for sure, especially if he thinks that his dick (which btw he thinks is massive) would hurt you, because your health always comes first. i think he would also play the bottom role just to try it out or if his partner wants to take control, he’s open for new things and likes experimenting (that won’t stop his nagging tho you gotta consider this lol). also deep down, i believe in kihyun being a huge pervert. however, i think kihyun prefers to be in control AND I STOP NOW BECAUSE I THINK I’LL START TO ANALYZE THINGS TOO MUCH AGAIN I’M SORRY

anonymous asked:

Describe each member with a few sentences

omo… I did a longer one once before but lemme try again

  • Nayeon: fake maknae. love love loves compliments and deserves them all (well, most of them 🤣). the most on point fuccboi aesthetic. troublemaker but also a mom friend deep down in her heart and takes care of the younger girls well.
  • Jeongyeon: deserves everything. deeply caring and quietly soft and sweet. has one of the best laughs in the whole world tbh. so extra but with a heart of pure gold. will and probably can kill anyone that hurts the people she loves.
  • Momo: a human version of a golden retriever. always make sure she has food!! a very talented and hardworking dancer who deserves more chances and better choreo to show those haters. one of the most unique and cute voices I’ve ever heard. loves jokbal, always give her jokbal.
  • Sana: clumsy soft baby but is more than just a klutz,  is actually really smart and really talented and that deserves to be seen by everyone! human version of a shiba inu. generally just loves everyone and wants to give them kisses, let her give them all the kisses!
  • Jihyo: the softest angel that we will never deserve. made of pure fluff but can turn into a sexy badass goddess in a matter of seconds. takes care of others like she was born to do it. deserves the world and probably more. has the eyes, voice, and heart of an angel.
  • Mina: soft talented ballerina. probably everyone’s bias wrecker at one point. so humble and so quiet but she’s got a ferocity in her that can shock you so don’t take her quietness for a lack of anything else.
  • Dahyun: so goddamn extra it’s amazing but that’s one of the best things about her. really so super soft and is always trying her best. personality so bright and cheerful it could blind you. doesn’t know the meaning of shame and image and just loves being her which is wonderful.
  • Chaeyoung: smol cub full of fight. so talented, has more creativity in her pinky finger than anyone could ever have in their whole body. so smol, I would say protect her but from the looks of her can do that on her own. takes care of all the members even though she’s the second youngest one. just a sweet baby that needs to be appreciated.
  • Tzuyu: tol baby beanstalk who’s so bluntly and savagely honest but is really so deep down sweet and lovely to all the girls. works so damn hard on her singing and has improved so much I’m so proud of her. a gorgeous cinnamon bambi baby worth the world and must be protected.
  • <p> <b>What she says:</b> i'm fine<p/><b>What she means:</b> in the first season of Skam, Isak is told by his best friend that "he only knows gay songs", and then when we get to know him again in season 3 we find out he nowadays listens to music that makes him feel tough. That that's the specific reason for it. We get a deep insight into this image of heterosexuality he's trying to project, and that dissonance in characterization makes it clear that it's something he's forcefully constructed in the last year. There are many more explicit examples of his internalized homophobia, but this one strikes me as especially heartbreaking because it's a direct response to something that was meant to be a casual remark, but had a deep impact on shaping his self image.<p/></p>

Elricest Week - Day 1: How do the brothers see each other?

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a-very-unique-name  asked:

Please more "I'm actually a side kick" au!

Part 1 Part 2


“Why don’t you just tell him again?” Jason asked calmly, the glare of the computer screen shinning on his glasses. Will had the primordial urge to rip them off his face and throw them against the wall. The heat growing in his clenched hands kept him from throwing any punches though, instead forcing him to stop his pacing and take a deep breath to try and calm himself. Jason swiveled his chair around the same time Will reached ten in his mind, counting to try and dissipate his anger. This was why he was the sidekick and not the hero. He had quick emotions. “You’re blowing this way out of proportion. Just tell him. Nico’s not going to hate you.”

“Yeah?” Will asked, suddenly feeling defensive. Who was Jason to lecture him about telling Nico something when he wouldn’t even tell Will why Nico wouldn’t talk about Jason? “When are you going to stop dancing around the truth of what happened between you and Nico?”

Jason frowned, and Will could tell he was reaching the end of the candle wick that was Jason’s patience. It didn’t happen often, but when it sparked, it was enough to burn down the whole house. Will shuddered at the memory of the last time Jason had lost his patience with someone.

“How can you be perfectly calm about this?!” Jason was shouting. That was indicator enough for Will to not enter the kitchen for the piece of cake he had been craving. Still, he was interested in what had caused Jason to blow his lid. It didn’t happen often. “Because of you, his sister is dead!”

“What do you want me to do, Jason? I couldn’t tell her not to go. You knew Bianca, no one could stop her from doing what she wanted.”

“She was twelve! And now you’ve left her brother alone. He has no powers. We can’t keep him here. What do you suggest we do with him?” Jason had been fighting with Percy, another Super that lived in the house with them. Percy was the oldest and the most skilled, though Jason could give him a run for his money. It was fascinating to watch the two of them work together, and horrifying to watch them go at each other.

“Send him to his father.” Percy had protested.

“You, of all people! I expect you to understand-”

That was when Annabeth had found him and given him a sour look until Will slinked off back to his bedroom, his mind reeling with what he had just heard.

“You know that we can’t just go around spilling other’s secrets for them.” Jason’s voice brought Will back to the present. He sounded tired as he rubbed his face, and in that moment he looked so much older than twenty-four. Will felt himself deflating.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just- I really like Nico, but I don’t want his past to stop our future. I know that sounds selfish, but if you two have bad blood with each other, that’s going to make it hard for us.” Will knew he sounded whiny, but he was being honest, and that was how he honestly felt.

Jason laughed, but it was without humor. “It’s not me that he has bad blood with.” Will got a feeling that Jason was going to tell him something that would help him unravel the whole mess that he was in. Between Nico’s secrets and Jason’s secrets and his own, someone could weave a whole web from the red strings. “I know you remember that fight I got into with Percy all those years ago,” Will nodded, watching Jason closely. He didn’t want to miss anything. “That was because,” he paused for a moment, “Percy killed Nico’s sister.”


dun dun duh

  • james t. kirk: it's amazing, isn't it? the resiliency of the human soul. of the soul itself, i should say, hahaha. 'human' is far too limiting, out here.
  • james t. kirk: an intergalactic war rages on for what feels like an eternity, and yet, people build back. people grow again. it's not just time that heals wounds, but it's they, themselves, healing, and healing others.
  • james t. kirk: there's a quiet beauty to it that takes my breath away.
  • james t. kirk: doesn't the universe just find a way of... stealing the words from you?
  • luke skywalker:
  • luke skywalker: [scrunches eyes, pinches nose, takes a deep breath]
  • luke skywalker: look.
  • luke skywalker: i don't mind you staying here till you figure out how to get back into your own universe
  • luke skywalker: but it's five in the fucking morning
  • luke skywalker: and i'm just trying to get a goddamn snack
Cuddle the shit out of you - Part 3

Pairing: Bucky x avenger!reader

Title: Cuddle the shit out of you

Word count: 1906

Warnings: Implied smut, mentions of torture, blood, violence. Fluffy bucky, angry bucky, lovely bucky. 

A/N.: Finally i’m done with the last part of this!!! Hope you like it my dears (lemme know and stuff) ♥ ♥ - Lor.

|| I don’t own Bucky Barnes or any of the avengers. They belong to Marvel. ||

Part 1 || Part 2 || MASTERLIST


When you woke up the next morning the warm feeling of Bucky’s body sleeping at your side made you smile. You kissed his naked chest, right where his metallic arm connected to his flesh and danced your fingers on his skin. The night before, after you two cuddled Bucky made his way down and things got a little bit, way too, heated up. You laughed softly at the memory of how his hands, and his entire body made you feel. You kissed your way up to his chin and lips and he slowly opened his eyes. A smirk across his lips and sleepy voice made you feel weak one again.

“Good morning”

“Good morning doll” he said and peeked your lips. Trailed his hands to your naked body and hugged you tightly by his side.

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ok but campaign volunteer!enjolras

An Enjoltaire AU where Enjolras works for the political campaign of the local senator and he does things like phone calls, door knocking, putting up signs, etc.

One day he’s been assigned to making phone calls. He’s usually pretty good at it, because even over the phone, most people can’t resist his charismatic persuasiveness. They either listen to him, or they just hang up.

So you can imagine how SHOOK Enjolras is when he’s about halfway through his little speech when the guy on the line(the calling list says his last name is Grantaire) just laughs at him. Not only that, but he starts arguing too!

Enjolras has to admit that it isn’t the worst thing in the world. The guy clearly knows his facts and is very intelligent. Pretty soon they aren’t even talking about the candidate, they’ve escalated to discussing the power of protests and if it really makes a difference.

After about an hour or so, Enjolras’s boss tells him it’s time to hang up. So E makes his final points, and he’s about to end the call when he blurts out:

“My student activism group meets tomorrow night. I’d like you to come–that is, if you want to– we could finish this conversation then.”

Grantaire agrees, and the next day, he shows up to the café he was told the meeting would be held. At first, he’s not sure who the caller could be; it seems to be a very diverse group. But then the meeting is called to order, and he has no doubt.

Before Enjolras even opens his mouth to speak, Grantaire is sure it’s him. He has a moment of panic where his only thoughts are “holy shit this guy’s hot why couldn’t he have mentioned this” before deciding to hang back in the corner where Enjolras can’t see him.

Once the meeting starts, Enjolras looks around for his mystery man, but he’s no where to be found. He tries to hide his disappointment and get on with business, until he hears a familiar snigger from the back.

Enjolras looks up from his notes to see a man he hadn’t noticed there before. The man casually refutes his point, and Enjolras is completely still before saying quietly, “It’s you.”

They stay talking long after the meeting’s finished, sparring different opinions. It’s nearly dark when Enjolras clears his throat. “I have to leave soon, but there’s another meeting tomorrow, and I was wondering if you’d like to get coffee before. Or after. Anything’s fine. To, you know, finish this debate.”

This goes on for weeks, until at the end of one such coffee sessions, Grantaire interrupts Enjolras trying to make plans. “You know, if you want to meet again, just say so, I won’t say no. You don’t have to keep saying it’s just so we can keep debating. At this point, it’s just a conversation, not a debate.”

Enjolras turns red for a second, but he takes a deep breath. “Alright, in that case… Grantaire, will you go on a date with me?”

“It would be my pleasure, Apollo.”

omg-mz-fanfic  asked:

Hello. I'm new to this blog but I really liked your stories so I decided to request one for myself. I would like a scenario were the GOM+ Kagami + Kiyoshi + Hanamiya are trying to ask out their fem crushes who are very shy and not very talkative. Thank you, and again, love your blog! :3

Kuroko: “Excuse me ____-san, but are you interested in dogs? Would you like to come over and meet Nigou one day? If you’re not sure, please take your time to think about it.“

Kise: “Oh! ____-cchi! I wanted to ask- wait…” Takes a deep breath to calm his excitement before scaring her . “___-cchi, would you like to grab some coffee after school?”

Midorima: “I’m flattered to know you feel comfortable talking to me. ____, I understand we have different schedules, but if you ever want to talk more, we can meet outside of school.”

Aomine: “Hey, ____, we should meet up sometime. Huh? Does your red face mean yes?”

Murasakibara: “I want to hang out with ___-chin more~” She runs away in embarrassment. “Eh! I don’t take no for an answer ___-chin~”

Akashi: “____ would it be alright, if I asked you out to dinner tonight?

Kagami: “Um, so… eh… “ Blushes furiously while rubbing his neck. “Look ____, um… I-I… don’t want… to go to Maji… Burger alone… so…“

Kiyoshi: “Oh, ____! Fancy seeing you here at the market. Would you like to shop together?”

Hanamiya: “Look stupid, I got one question for you: do you want to go out with me or not?”

anonymous asked:

Jen shivered as she walked through the dark woods, her eyes darting around the seemingly never-ending forest. Dark bruises and deep cuts littered her skin as she wiped away more tears. She had gotten beaten up again and was trying to find a place to sleep. She tugged on her hat nervously as she felt someone's eyes on her (rainboepastel_bunny)

@rainboepastel-bunny

Dipper was coming back from observing a fairy migration when he saw the young girl. She looked pretty beat up and upset. “Hey, uh, do you need any help?” He asked, approaching her.

Why don’t we ever see Steve struggling to come to terms with his new body? (I know why but just listen ok I need this)

As someone who also had a list of problems with my body I know that physical pain and discomfort easily trigger dissociation, so I think it’s likely that Steve would already be familiar with dissociation when his body changes.

And yeah, his new body is great – no aches and pains, no labored breaths – but it is RADICALLY different than the body he’s had his entire life. I mean he’s like 4 times as massive literally. How can ANYONE go through that without feeling a massive disconnect from their body, let alone someone who already has a history of dissociation.

To top it all off, instead of having time to recover and come to terms with his new form, he goes right into the action of getting turned into an icon rather than a person, then goes to war.

All I’m saying is that Steve Rogers must still be experiencing a deep disconnect from his body, he likely still acts like a small, sickly kid, constantly forgetting that he’ll never be again what was once so familiar.

Phone Calls

Word Count: 668

Warnings: None

Summary: baz wanted to let it ring longer to make it seem like he had a lot going on. he couldn’t wait.

[sorry if it sucks, i just started writing from a random sentence i thought of and this is what happened]

———-

When Simon Snow called Baz, he picked up after the third ring. He wanted to wait longer, to make it seem like he had a lot going on. Maybe he would answer, maybe he wouldn’t. He definitely would, he just didn’t want Simon to know that. But it felt like minutes between each ring and he was afraid Simon wouldn’t wait, so he answered and tried not to sound excited.

“Hello?” Baz asked, as if he didn’t know who it was. As if it could have been anyone. He knew who it was.

“Hey, Baz?” Just hearing his name out of his mouth was enough. Even if he just asked for the homework assignment and pretended like yesterday didn’t happen, it would be ok. At least he’d still know it happened.

“Hi.” He was sitting on his bed, legs curled up under him like a baby deer. Simon was trying to imagine him. He was always out on the football pitch in Simon’s head, sweating and running, but right now he was trying to imagine him at home, curled in his bed like a cat.

They were quiet, just listening to each other breathe. The entire world felt so small, like everything was tripping on the moment that they would talk. Baz felt hot all over, just like he did before, their lips and bodies crashing into each other, grabbing for anything to hold themselves up. They were tearing each other apart.

“I-I'm…” Baz was worried Simon would say that he wasn’t gay.

Again.

He would probably hang up if he did. Just throw the phone across the room and let it smash against the wall. He was so sick of those words, over and over again as their teeth clinked and his skin tingled. It was tingling now. Just hearing Simon Snow alive and on the other end of the phone was enough to send him spinning.

Simon took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to get the words out. He had been saying them to himself since he went home yesterday, and now he wanted to say them to Baz.

I love you.

“I miss you.” He said instead; he was so nervous and his skin tingled and his shirt was too tight. How was he ever going to talk to him if he couldn’t even think?

Baz didn’t even try to stop the feeling that shivered down his spine. He let it wreak havoc across his skin, blooming goose bumps, flushing his cheeks, turning everything cold and hot all at once, finally letting it settle in his toes. He was so happy. “I miss you too.”

“I wish I didn’t leave so fast yesterday. I wanted to stay.” Simon felt like a tap. He was finally learning what word vomit was. Usually he couldn’t get the words out, now he couldn’t get them to stay in. “I wanted to…” He wanted to do a lot of things. “I wish you were here.”

Baz could feel his adrenaline soaring, like he was sitting on a cloud. “I wish I was there too. Just to…I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you yesterday.” Now he was stumbling through his sentences. Him–the boy who could talk circles around any teacher, any parent–stumbling and bumbling. What has he done to me? "I always want to talk to you.“

"I don’t know…” Simon mimicked and Baz smiled. They both stopped again. And then quietly, almost so quietly Baz wasn’t sure he heard it or hallucinated it, Simon whispered, “I love you.” It was almost too much. He sounded scared, like he thought Baz wasn’t going to say it back. It felt like his heart was going to explode. Maybe it was.

“God I’ve wanted you to say those words for so long.” Baz whispered back. Simon grinned until his cheeks hurt and the panic pulling at his chest subsided. “I love you too.”

“Can I see you tomorrow? Please?”

“Absolutely.”

Paper hearts  Chapter 1/???

Originally posted by jengkook

Description: After many years of hurt from Jungkook you decided enough was enough.

Warnings: Swearing, self-harm, trigger warning, suicide talk

Words/length:1,493

Comments from author: I really hope ya’ll like this I worked real hard on this. This is my first angst and I’m most likely gonna turn this into a series. So let me know what you all think by asks, reblogging, likes or messaging you choose :). This man is such a bias for me and i’m trying to make room for others but clearly he won’t let that happen. Sorry I have been gone for such a while school is just kicking me in the butt right now and I have been working on getting my grades to be better. Anyways I do apologize so please do enjoy.


          It was all good in the beginning of the relationship, cuddle sessions, late night calls, passionate kissing but, since you caught Jungkook passionately kissing another girl. His makeup artist specifically who you thought were just good friends but were clearly more than that. The relationship had turned south and just gone sour. He tries to show his affection to you but you can’t help but thinking of the two of them making out right in front of you as you walked in to wish him good luck in his performance like any good girlfriend would. His hands holding her neck in place and his tongue going deep into her mouth. Until he noticed you out of the corner of his eyes and pulled away from her in shock that he had been caught. After that it’s all a blur something your mind probably wanted to just forget the yelling and pain he had caused your heart.

          Today however you were going to go over to the dorm because he said he had it alone today and you were going to tell him it was over. Being with someone who you couldn’t trust but loved deeply was just a toxic relationship you couldn’t deal with. You were even beginning to self-harm because you didn’t know who else to talk to the hyungs would just tell him which led to meaningless sex that apparently Jungkook thought would fix everything. However he was wrong it didn’t fix the pain in your heart and the scars that were beginning to form on your wrists. Nobody ever noticed them before not even Jungkook because you were pretty good at hiding them and didn’t want anybody else to worry about you. It was time to face what you have never wanted to do and you were going to do it you were done with all of it. It all just hurt way too much. You got in your car and called Jungkook to let him know you were on your way.

Jungkook: Hello.

You: Hey, I’m on my way/

Jungkook: Ok. Are you okay you sound different?

You: Ya, I’m just tired.

Jungkook:Okay you know you can talk to me about anything right?

You: Ya I know, but I’m on my way so i’ll see you in a bit.

Jungkook: Ok, I lov-

          You cut him off before he could say those last three words as you knew it would just make it harder on you to break up with him. Those three words coming from him used to mean something but now it felt as if they were nothing more than just words he was forcing out. Almost like he was pushing them out almost like a stutter. Before when they actually meant something they came out of his mouth like silk. But now it was a boulder trying to be pushed off a cliff by one man it was hard to do but when it finally happened to fall off is was a relief until he had to do it again.  It was like he wasn’t even trying to be sincere he just felt bad for you and you weren’t going to be part of this pity party any longer.

          Soon you arrived at the dorm and took a deep breath preparing yourself for what was about to happen. Though you knew you were never going to be prepared for what you were about to do. You took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car pulling your long sleeve knit sweater down past your wrists to cover the scars so he would not see what you had done to yourself. You knew if he saw he was going to make a even bigger issue in the fight and somehow manage to woo you again with his caring abilities again. Not again though not this time you were done with this torture on your fragile heart. You had gone through this too much in the past enough was enough.

          You went up to ring the buzzer and soon a smiling Jungkook was standing at the open door with open arms that brought you into an embrace.You smelt the cologne on him, the one that you had boughten him.The one that was nearly intoxicating. The one that when you were crying into his shoulder you could smell and you were instantly comforted. Not today though you didn’t want his comfort you didn’t want any of it you just wanted this whole thing to be over. You had been hugging him for a tad too long.That was when he knew something was up. “Are you okay?” he said lifting your chin up seeing the tears starting to well up in your eyes.  “I’m fine, I just think we need to talk.” you said. “ You’re clearly not fine if you’re crying. Did somebody hurt you?” he asked concerningly.

          “The only person who hurt me was you.”  you said almost angrily. “ Oh please, not this again. I told you it was a mistake she came onto me.”  he had given that excuse a billion times. You had no time to keep believing all this. “JUNGKOOK I’M TIRED OF ALL THESES EXCUSES ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! WE ARE BREAKING UP I’M DONE!” you screamed at him. “If you really don’t think you hurt me why don’t you look deep into my heart think back to the day when I caught you. Think about it. I was crying I was begging you not to do this to me and here you are making the same damn excuse!” you said in rage. “I knew you were hurt you don’t think I was. I didn’t like seeing you like that. Hell if you were to leave me that day I would have probably went home and killed myself.” he said on the verge of tears. “Don’t worry Jungkook I almost did too, in fact I have already thought of it more than once.” you said bursting into tears showing him your wrists.

          He looks down at them in complete and utter shock. He grabs one of them and examines it very carefully. Then he looks up at you turning your head away in shame and breathing heavily from all the yelling you were doing. You couldn’t believe you actually showed them to him. You promised yourself you would show no one, obviously that changed. “Why?” he said crying. “WHY?!?! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?” you said in a frustration. “I DON’T KNOW MAYBE BECAUSE THE ONE PERSON I THOUGHT WHO ACTUALLY LOVED ME BROKE MY FUCKING HEART!” you say. With that sentence he pulled you by your wrist into a deep kiss one so passionate you have never felt him kiss you like that since you first started dating. You couldn’t help but sink deep into the kiss as tears still streamed down your face but much slower and more calm now. You tried to pull away but he only pulled you deeper into him. You tried pushing him back as this was his way of trying to get you back but like you said to yourself earlier you were not going to fall for it.

          You were finally able to break free from him by giving him a hard push. “Does that not show you that I care for you Y/N?” he says panting trying to get back the air from the heated kiss. “No Jungkook and you know why?!” you said angrily. “Why?” he said with a raised eyebrow in confusion. “It’s the exact way you kissed your whore-of-a-makeup artist!” you said running out of the dorm with loads of tears streaming down your face, with Jungkook screaming your name running after you. You were running and crying so hard you didn’t think of what was in front of you as you were wiping your face of tears that you had bumped into somebody. You bowed your head and apologized before you heard a familiar voice. “Y/N?” they said lifting your chin up to see the tears running down your face as they wiped it with their thumb. It was Jin the most motherly and caring person you knew at the time. “Why are you crying?” he says being truthfully worried.

          Soon you heard a panting Jungkook behind you and you started to try and run away again before Jin grabbed your wrist and shoved you behind his back to protect you. Throwing his arm in front of you to protect Jungkook from getting to you. Jungkook was trying to grab you from Jin but Jin kept shoving him back until Jungkook looked Jin deep in the eyes with anger. Then Jin finally spoke “What the fuck is going on Jungkook?!” he said demandingly for an answer.

2

i’v been in Spain the last week or so and haven’t been able to draw much, but somehow I descended way down deep into lolix hell so I decided to make some individual headcanons for the pair to try alleviate that somewhat. Results are pending

Let’s Leave it Up to Fate

Character: Jaebum

Genre: Drabble

Requested here

“Oh, um, excuse me. Sorry, ah. Oh.” Oomph! You were shoved forward as the last of the subway riders crammed into the crowded car. You, in turn, fell forward, crashing right into the arms of a stranger.

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