it’s an annual event that stretches multiple days and everyone gets really into it because of course they do, there’s a lot of sneaking around and watching each other with wary eyes
jake was the one to suggest it in the first place. every year he goes all out with a spoon bandolier, spoons shoved in his sleeves assassin’s creed style, fitting tunes, elaborate multi-spoon weapons (he makes a star out of some spoons; unfortunately it doesn’t work as well as it looks), etc.
rosa is easily the most terrifying ninja assassin. one year she dropped out from a vent to get charles
amy is actually really good at ninja spoon wars because she makes secret binders of all their routines and devises traps. holt is the first to catch on and make sure that he’s unpredictable during the game
there’s a lot of ducking beneath desks and hiding in closets. once jake hides under HR jim’s desk for a good hour when rosa happens to walk in. HR jim is less than amused but stays quiet
charles is the worst. one year he gets jake as his first target and every time he gets close to killing him, he “just couldn’t do that to jake, he’s my best friend! i can’t stab him in the back!”. eventually he just stands in the middle of the precinct and asks for his assassin to end him now before he’s forced to kill jake or the unthinkable happens and jake gets his name
(unfortunately jake already had his name. he feels only a little bad killing him)
(”et tu, jake?”)
(”YOU ASKED ME TO”)
actually hitchcock and scully are the worst. completely predictable, you just have to wait around by their desks or in the kitchen and soon enough they’ll show up. the only time hitchcock ever successfully killed anyone was when he had scully and even then, he was killed by amy a second later
gina starts out just being the judge and target assigner, but eventually starts playing
his first year at the precinct, holt pretends not play but secretly he does (gina plays that year to help with this scheme and she has his name because someone needs to have it and they both win in the end). terry is his first target so he stabs him alone in the office with the blinds closed and THE LOOK OF UTTER BETRAYAL ON TERRY’S FACE IS PRICELESS. holt also makes terry promise not to tell the others - which allows him to pick them off one by one until the end
“you never see a good ninja coming” is holt’s line when he ends jake, the last except for gina and himself that year. jake doesn’t even mind losing, he’s so thrilled that the captain is playing
(ok he minds a little, he vows to get his revenge next year)
one year after they’re dating, jake and amy end up as the final two, they spend over a day circling each other and trying to corner one another. amy ends it by surprise-kissing jake in the precinct one morning and then stabbing him in the ribs with a spoon. it’s a very dramatic death scene, full of betrayal
ninja spoon wars inspires a LOT of looks of betrayal
also a lot of spoons flying around the precinct
the beat cops always know when it’s ninja spoon wars because suddenly there are no plastic spoons in the building anymore except those on the ground. they always sigh and resign themselves to metal spoons for the week
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Alright so, I’ve not done a lot of reading recently because of Uni work so I’m just going to list some authors and fics that I love. I want to eventually have a page of all the fics I favourite on FF.net but I haven’t got the time right now. This is the first part of my recs so prepare for more of my ramblings later. Anyway, I’m putting in a ‘read more’ because this might get long. (Also, apologies if I haven’t linked to the authors Tumblr, it’s because I don’t know it/not sure what their name is on here.)
so sometimes I’m just sitting around being lazy, watching tv or getting distracted by internet things, or I’ve eaten too much or I’ve just had a super long day. and sometimes I’m even aware of how much of a blob I am being, I’m sure this happens to other people, too. anyways I wanted to share this little list to motivate me/others to stop being a blob:
1. very very first thing. shut off your internet. put all the tv and stuff out of reach. this is really important, but you will feel 100% better afterwards.
3. uncover your windows, let natural light filter in. if you can/want to open them, that’s also fantastic. it really helps lighten your mood, always makes me feel more connected with the rest of the world.
2. put on some music. it’s ok to use your phone/computer for this, but remember to just keep it away from arm’s reach. also, you can use whatever music you’d like, but I suggest something soft, like Frank Sinatra or Beegie Adair or Jack Johnson.
3. take a walk. look at the colors and plants people surround themselves with. pick out houses/buildings you like. look at the sky, listen to what’s going on around you. I don’t generally listen to music for this because I like to feel grounded when I walk, but if you’re more of a song person that’s okay, too. it’s really easy to forget how long it’s been since you’ve had some fresh air.
4. take a bath. if it’s hot out, turn on a fan and cool down the room so you’re all cosy in the water, put in some bubbles and scents. grab a book or magazine. exfoliate, do your nails, put on a face mask. throw yourself a little spa day. when you get out, put on lotion, put on new underwear and soft, comfy clothing.
5. make your favourite cup of tea or coffee, or maybe pour yourself some lemonade or just cold water is fine too.
6. go sit in a common area of your house, like a living room or dining table. if you’re not home alone and don’t want to be bothered, gently voice it to the people around you or go sit somewhere else where you feel comfortable and relaxed. just get out of the same walls, find a change of scenery. you could even leave and go to a café or a park if you’d like.
7. do some writing/doodling. whenever this happens, I always like to use a spare piece of printer paper or something not connected to a notebook so I’m less attached to it and less likely to care about the way it looks. let the pen do its own thing, don’t worry about messing up. if you feel that you’re getting frustrated, step away and do something else.
8. make some lists. this is one of my favourite pastimes. list nice things that you’ve seen recently that you think you’ll forget later on. list little details of your dreams, list things you want to do in your favourite season, list recipes you’d like to try. the possibilities are endless.
9. cook/bake something. important reminders—if you don’t find this relaxing, don’t do it!! find another hobby that you love where you can enjoy doing something productive. also, even if you’re making something fantastic, be sure not to snack too much or overeat (I’m very prone to this). you could also make something for a friend or a neighbour!! people always enjoy a heartfelt craft made by someone who cares.
10. catch up with an old friend or family member. ask them out for coffee or something, it’s always nice to talk. trust me, they will very much appreciate you reaching out.
11. write a letter to someone. you do not have to send it.
12. go to a park and look at the flowers or sit in the grass. grab a sketchbook, some sudoku, a book, a puzzle, your thoughts, or anything else you could tinker with while enjoying the fresh air. something to make your brain work a little.
there’s more, of course, but this is all I can really come up with at the moment—I hope it works! now get off that web and have a good time!!
I’m honestly still in awe at how underrated hyuk is like..he’s so well rounded. He’s a great dancer, vocalist, actor, and apparently now he writes music as well?? He’s smart (was the top of his class) and translates english for the members with ease, and he plays piano really well. He’s really dedicated to what he does and I don’t think many people know this but he’s SUPER SWEET to starlights (letting them squish his nose omg, being really friendly to an i-starlight when she was backstage at one of their tours, doing aegyo when the hyungs aren’t there lol) idk man more people should appreciate hyuk y’all are missing out