i'm sure but~

  • MC: This is the worst thing you've ever done!
  • Nobunaga: You know, you say that phrase so much it's lost all its meaning.

#actual puppy waverly earp 

Colorless to Colorful


“You’re at least going to let me pay you for gas I hope you know that- ah!” Alex yelped in surprise as he was heading out the door, slamming into someone face first. Literally.“Ow, fuck. Shit. Ugh. What the..hell..” Alex was cursing from the stinging pain in his nose from where it had smashed into the other person’s. He was brought to silence as he noticed how things weren’t greyed anymore. Colors filled his vision slowly where all he could see before was grey. Some things seemed dull, but he wasn’t going to question it as he stared at the guy in front of him in shock. He looked young..in his teens maybe.“Holy shit..”

Note: Little oneshot for the heartstrings au :) Alex meets John and sees color for the first time

Warning: mentions of abuse

A puff of hot air escaped chapped lips as Alex walked along the packed sidewalk. It was a busy November Monday for the college student, just having got out of class for the day. Earbuds and loud music filled his ears as he walked, intended target in sight. Stopping outside the Starbucks, Alexander pulled his hood down and then walked inside. Sitting at the back as usual was Alex’s best friend, Lafayette. He wasn’t paying any attention to the shorter man, fiddling with what looked like a piece of string on his finger.

“Herc still at work?” Alex asked as he sat down. Laf looked up and smiled sheepishly.

“Yes. He is.. we’ve been talking, still” he hummed, tugging on the string tied to his ring finger.  To Alex the string was grey, but to Laf it and everything else was colorful. That was a typical side effect of finding your soulmate. Alexander hummed as he looked at his hand, two bright red strings going from his middle and ring fingers. They were tied there and had been since he was young. The one on his middle had been there since he was born and the other appeared when he was about four. Memories from his childhood were fuzzy, but something like that stuck with you. Though having one soul bond was nice, Alex had been fascinated when he had not one string in his life, but two.

“How was your day? Classes were shit for me. Thomas was being an ass again and I swear I almost punched him..I obviously didn’t, but you get the point..” Alex huffed, giving the two strings gentle tugs, getting one back after a moment.

“Mine was alright. I spent the day with Mom and we shopped a bit. Apparently her and dad had a little argument this morning so she wanted some relaxation time. I got a free shopping trip, though, so I’m obviously not complaining…are you feeling alright? Is it one of those days..?” He asked softly, looking at Alex in concerned. Laf was only a few months older than Alex, but since Alexander had been adopted by Laf’s own adopted parents, he had become somewhat of an older brother to Alex.

“I’m okay, my chest just hurts a bit and I’m tired..and hungry. I’m hoping Peggy feels like making dinner because I’m just not feeling like it today..” he muttered, slipping his hands(as discreetly as possible) under his hoodie, tank top, and binder to push it off his chest a bit. It made it easier to breath and he let out a sigh of relief. The day he no longer had to wear this fucker was the day he would be able to happily go through his day without dying inside and outside.

“Want me to drive you back to the campus? And it’s Peggy. If they aren’t snacking and making food for themselves, then they’ll be doing it by the time you get there.” Laf chuckled, but he was concerned.

“I’m sure I can walk-”

“Nope. We’re going and I’m driving” Laf said in finality as he stood up. Alex groaned, but didn’t argue.

“Fine, fine.” He sighed, slipping his hands from his shirt and getting up.

“You’re at least going to let me pay you for gas I hope you know that- ah!” Alex yelped in surprise as he was heading out the door, slamming into someone face first. Literally.

“Ow, fuck. Shit. Ugh. What the..hell..” Alex was cursing from the stinging pain in his nose from where it had smashed into the other person’s. He was brought to silence as he noticed how things weren’t greyed anymore. Colors filled his vision slowly where all he could see before was grey. Some things seemed dull, but he wasn’t going to question it as he stared at the guy in front of him in shock. He looked young..in his teens maybe.

“Holy shit..” the guy breathed out and Alex was about to speak when Laf interjected.

“His name is Alexander. This is his number. Text him.” Laf said, shoving the napkin into the teen’s hand. Both Alex and him were both in shock from the whole situation. Alexander kinda felt light headed, to be honest.

“O..okay..I’m..John” the guy, John managed out as Laf pulled Alex past him. Alex

“Pull your hood up and watch the ground. You really don’t want to be looking around right now..you’ll get really overwhelmed” Laf said and Alex, who was still in a form of shock, nodded slowly, pulling up his hood and watching the sidewalk as they walked, letting Laf lead him along.  They stopped at his car and Alex got in the passenger side, leaning back in the seat and closing his eyes. His head hurt.

“Laf…holy shit. Lafayette I just met my fucking soulmate. I might be sick. Is that normal? Are these feelings supposed to be like this?”Alex asked and he listened as Laf started the car.

“You’re just overwhelmed. I threw up when I met Herc” Laf pointed out and Alex smiled some.

“I know. I was there, remember?” Alex said, using the conversation to focus on instead of this sick feeling he had.

“It might have also had to do with the fact that we were freshman and he was that cute senior I was crushing on since the start of the year.

“Wild year for us. Mom and dad adopted me, you met your soulmate, I punched that one kid-”

“Alex. My.. dear…sweet brother. You punched a lot of people that year” Laf laughed and Alex snickered.

“Defending our honor of course” he chuckled and he smiled some.

“Tell me how punching Charles was defending ‘our honor’” Laf asked and Alex could feel himself dozing off.

“He said dad being voted Governor was rigged and that he was incompetent. So I punched him. A lot. He also said something about my clothes so there’s also that”

“Ah. Thats the part I walked in on. I always thought you just got pissed because he made fun of your clothing choices” Laf hummed with a chuckle.

“Mm.. no it was because of that too..I just..I dunno…” Alex trailed off and before he knew it, he was waking up in his own bed. The light was off and it looked like it was getting dark. He must have dosed off. Sitting up and yawning, he noticed his binder was off. Ah. He wasn’t surprised. Laf and himself had agreed that if Alex, for whatever reason, fell asleep with his binder on, that the slightly older man could remove it for him. Alex trusted him to do this since the uh.. first incident which ended at the hospital.

Rubbing sleep from his eyes, he noticed a note on his bedside table.

Hey Al. Laf brought you in and gave me the run down bout the sitch. Made mac and cheese, it’s still on the stove if you’re hungry (and by that I mean get your ass up and eat ho)

- the peggiest Peggy to ever Peggy (Peggy)

Alex couldn’t help but laugh softly. The note was just so… Peggy. There was no other word in the world to describe it better than that. Getting up and sliding out of bed, he walked out of the room, hair hanging down around his shoulders. The apartments walls didn’t appear very brightly colored, so it was a welcomed sight to Alex’s eyes.

“Well hey there sleeping beauty. Get some Mac it’s warm still..I think” Peggy said from where they were watching some ghost show.

“I can tell what you’re thinking from that look you’re giving me, and no it isn’t just some ghost show it’s a /great/ ghost show. Dead Files is my shit” Peggy huffed and Alex shook his head.

“Margarita Schuyler, you terrify me sometimes” Alex said with a laugh, going into the tiny kitchen area of their dorm room.

“S’what I’m here for boo” they hummed.

“So. Soulmate huh. Oh oh, what color is my clothes right now?” They asked, looking away from the TV to peer at Alex in excitement.

“Pegs..I don’t know what they’re called how the fuck could I tell you” he asked with a snicker. Peggy stuck their tongue out at him and tossed him their phone.

“By googling it, of course” they said as if it was obvious. Alex rolled his eyes and smiled, pulling up google and typing in “colors and their names”.

“Fuck this is weird uh…your shirt is..yellow? But like..a light yellow? Your shorts are purple I think..yeah, purple” he said, looking at the screen in a sense of wonder. This is what colors were like..what used to be varying shades of dull grey was bright colors(though somehow they still felt slightly dull). He had always thought Laf had over exaggerated the difference, but he could see now that he wasn’t.

“Oh heres your phone, I swiped it from your unconscious body and snooped” Peggy said, tossing it as well for Alex to catch.

“As expected. Anything interesting happening in my life?” Alex asked with a hum, turning on his phone to check for anything new.

“Yeah, a text from a guy named John. Not in your contacts so I was gonna fuck with him, but then you woke up.” Peggy said with a nonchalant wave. Shit.

“Dude I think that’s the guy from today- holy fuck it is” Alex said as he opened the text.

From Unknown Number

Sent at 4:18PM

Hey. Its um. John. From starbucks? Are you doing okay? Everything happened kinda fast and you didn’t look so hot when you left

From Unknown Number

Sent at 4:21PM

Wait shit I didn’t mean it like that.

From Unknown Number

Sent at 4:21PM

You looked fine, you just looked kinda sick is what I meant..

From Unknown Number

Sent at 4:21PM

So uh…yeah hope youre doing okay..

Alex couldn’t help but snicker at the texts. This kid was definitely a teenager still. Ah the shy and awkward years. Yeah Alex was glad he was past that phase of his life. He just didn’t really care anymore. He hummed softly as he saved the number as John, then replied.

To John

Sent at 6:10

Hey, its Alex. Its okay, I understood what you meant.

To John

Sent at 6:11

Things were really overwhelming. Still are, really. Are you doing okay? You probably have school or something tomorrow, but if you live by that Starbucks, I go to the University a couple of blocks from it. We can meet up there and talk, if you want

Alex sent it and scooped a spoonful of macaroni from the pot to his mouth.

“What’d he say?” Peggy asked and Alex swallowed the bite before replying.

“He was worried about me. It was cute as hell. I asked if he wanted to go meet at Starbucks to talk” He hummed and sat the spoon down for a moment to give the strings on his fingers a little tug. One was almost immediate, but there wasn’t one on his other one. There was, however, a reply to his texts.

From John

Sent at 6:17

Sure. be there in 10. Also you messed up my first text pulling on that tie. Had to rewrite it and everything lol

Alex smiled and shook his head, He ate enough of the left overs to hold him over for awhile, then he went to grab his shoes.

“You gonna go meet color boy? Take a picture I wanna see him in all my black and white vision” Peggy teased and hopped up off the couch.

“Oh and get me some coffee!” Alex heard them call from the living room as he slipped on his shoes and then looked at himself in the mirror on his wall.

“Should I put on my binder…? Nah, I’m not gonna push it today. My hoodie is baggy enough..” He murmured to himself, pulling his hair up into a bun for now. Yeah. He really needed to cut it.

“Yeah, sure I’ll get your usual. If I’m not back by morning I’m probably dead” Alex replied as he walked back to the living room and then out the door. He snickered as he briefly heard a reply from Peggy.

“I’m buying a dog to replace you if you do” Alex loved them sometimes. As he walked his mind began to wonder. Why Peggy put up with him, he would never know. Angelica was still irked at him(for good reason) after what happened with Eliza…Peggy was far too forgiving, though, and as was Eliza. He was just happy they were all still friends, though he sometimes wished they hated him so he could continue to shame himself. He had about a ten minute walk as well, so he popped in his earbuds, pulled up his hood, and started his playlist on shuffle, letting himself get lost in the loud music. One long walk later and he found himself outside the  Starbucks. Humming softly to himself, he walked in and looked around, pulling his hood down. He pulled the earbuds from his ears as he spotted a familiar face in the very back.  He ordered a coffee and got it first before going over to the table he was at, taking a seat.

“Hey” he said simply and John looked up from the table.

“Ah..Hey” he brushing some hair from his face. The teens hair was let down from where it had been pulled back the first time they met that evening.

“You forget your hairbow?” Alex asked, just in curiosity really. John blinked, but shrugged.

“Couldn’t find one and I snuck out my window, so I couldn’t just go look for one in the house. Door was locked. Don’t like my hair down but I’ll live.” John said and Alex paused. There were a lot of redflags going up, but he didn’t want to ask something and potentially scare him off.

“Ah..well. Hm. Here, lets do this, then” Alex said and carefully pulled his hair down.

“There. I don’t like my hair down either. We can suffer together” he said with a smile. John blinked in what looked like surprise, but smiled some as well.

“Alright. Sounds good to me.” John hummed and then paused again, sipping on his drink.

“Okay this is probably going to sound really..rude..” John started and Alex sat up a bit, watching the teen squirm a bit before sighing and looking up at him.

“I just…I didn’t think my soulmate was going to be a girl. I mean..don’t get me wrong youre really pretty and all, but I’m gay and I’m just not..fuck I sound like an asshole don’t I? I’m sorry” John said, a deep frown set on his lips. Oh. Alex blink and shifted uncomfortably.

“Ah. I see. Well um..it might not make a difference, but I’m trans so..I don’t identify as a girl? I go by Alexander and I’m a guy..” Alex explained. He should have been used to explaining his situation by now, but for some reason it felt harder telling John. John looked at him in slight confusion.

“Trans..gotcha. I’m going to admit it now. I’m really ignorant on the subject. I don’t know anything about whats okay to say and whats not. I dont really..live in a good house. Pretty intolerant. Ive never really been able to look into anything lgbt. I know I’m gay, because I like guys..but..anything else is just lost on me. So um..sorry if this is really offensive. Just like..I dunno, slap me or something” John started and Alex was about to protest that option, but John started talking again.

“Have you like..I mean..are you transitioning..? Thats the word right..? I’m sorry I just..ugh I’m really bad at this shit..” John groaned, running his hand through his hair. It had been covering part of his face and once it was brushed back, Alex could see a bruise on John’s cheek. Shit. He wanted to say something, but again he was held back by the fact he didn’t want to scare John off with accusations. He’s been in an abusive household before and..he was worried, but he didn’t know if it was that or if John had just gotten into a fight. Everything in him said it wasn’t that, but he just tried to focus on the  question at hand.

“Ah..am I pre or post op? I’m pre. I honestly don’t mind talking about it, but not everyone will be. Its alright to be curious, but just be cautious.. I havent started on testosterone, but I want to soon. Its just an issue of money, ya know? I want to have top surgery, but again. Money. Its a long and slow process, but I’m working towards it” Alex said as calmly as he could, trying not to make it obvious that he was now searching John’s face for any new or old bruises. He didn’t see anything obvious and decided to let it go for now.

“Okay…Is there anything else I shouldnt ask or do..? I just. If we’re soulmates I don’t want to do anything to upset you. Could you..I dunno..teach me what’s okay and what isnt so I know…?” John asked almost stiffly and Alex couldn’t help but smile at it. Alex had met a lot of people in his life who he had to tell he was trans. No one wanted to understand things so deeply like John. Normally people would just interact with him with caution until they saw whatever answer they were worrying about. John wanted to know so he didn’t have to feel like he was walking on eggshells. It was..it was sweet really. The only other people to do this was his parents and Laf when he told them. Alex hummed softly and took a sip of his still burning hot coffee, giving John a happy smile


anonymous asked:

Was Tev and Dren away in a different land from Morrowind/Vvardenfell during the time of the red year/just heard what happened, or actually there, and managed to survive the whole eruption and meteor ordeal? What were their initial reactions knowing almost the entire land, and it's people were destroyed?

They were present alright.  They weren’t in Vivec, of course, but they were likely in Balmora when Baar Dau fell.  They immediately went into “oh shit we should investigate” mode, since I can only imagine the blast was pretty goddamn powerful in Balmora (the wiki suggests someone on the mainland was knocked over, so), but once the after effects started kicking in, they had to rethink that.  Tev wanted to help with evacuation, but since I imagine things went to hell pretty fast vis-à-vis eruption, Dren essentially had to drag her to transportation off the island.

They were devastated.  Vvardenfell had become their home, after all.  Tev in particular felt responsible, reasoning that maybe the destruction never would have happened if she hadn’t destroyed the Heart in the first place.  They tried to help with recovery efforts at first, but Tev soon decided she needed time away to get her head om straight, so they set off for Akavir.  They returned a few years later to help rebuild again.

Tev/Dren Masterpost

Quick sorta rant about villains and heroes and stories.

Not every villain needs to be redeemed, but they must always have the ability to.

Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean to say I don’t enjoy it when it’s done well. People tend to identify with villain characters the easiest (since villains are often given traits that present them as different or odd or just too damn human aka faulty in a lot of ways, while heroes are given less, because the best of us are the least like us. The human species is kind of self-deprecating), so when we see them accepted and liked by the good guys, or when we see them win, it gives us hope that *we* can do those things too despite everything we and society see wrong with ourselves.

But it’s important, dare I say necessary, that some villains not be redeemed. While we need to know that good can triumph against all odds and that bad can change to good with enough encouragement, it’s important to remember that sometimes bad is just bad and it doesn’t change no matter how badly you wanted to.

The best stories tell us about ourselves. They take situations that we will never be in, and allow us to see ourselves in them. They give us the opportunity to question and discover new things about ourselves and others. A good story has the strength to change a person, and even the world, forever. It’s the strongest weapon and the sturdiest shield. To be quite honest, stories are the most terrifying thing in existence. Guns? War? The heat death of the universe? The constant passage of time? Stories can twist each one into whatever they please, and you’ll smile and nod and never really think about how a few words have inherently changed you forever. The only other thing that can do that is death, and stories have even taken hold of that countless times, bringing people back from it or crafting it into a symbolic message or even personifying it into someone you’d kill to go and have tea with. Meanwhile, death can’t touch a good damn story.

How scary. Not even death.

Stories aren’t terrifying because they can make you hate something. Hatred is easy, hatred is natural. We’re brought into the world cold and bloody and blind, hating it and wailing to be put back where we came from. You’re literally born hating, and you don’t even know what hatred is yet.

No, stories are terrifying because they can make you love anything. Love is learned, and that’s what makes it so powerful, and stories are the best teacher.

But I really should digress, I was talking about villains!

As important as love and change and all that jazz is, we need evil villains that are never redeemed, because it reminds us that in the real world (‘our’ real, at least), bad can win. It reminds us to be careful and cautious and to hope for the best but prepare for the worst, because the worst likes to stick around long after the best has come and gone.

A good example is Palpatine. Would his evil have been so absolute and memorable if he’d been redeemed? No, it wouldn’t have, and it also would have made Vader’s redemption lesser. Change is friggin hard, guys, and not everyone can do it. What sticks in our minds is that Vader, so consumed by his own darkness and that of Palpatine, was able to escape it.

There always has to be a big bad. An evil or a wrong that cannot be changed so that we can see the strength it takes to be able to go against it. That’s how the real world is (though the definition of the big bad changes depending on who you’re asking) and that’s how the best stories are. It can be a person, a place, an ideology, natural disasters, sickness, yourself, *anything*, but there will always be conflict so there must always be those that fight against it.

Stories are what build those people.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Probably gonna be scarce this week since my work has blocked tumblr on their VPN again but also (and slightly more important) because the project that I’ve been working on for the last four months, the project that has extremely high stakes for me both in the eyes of my management and business partners, is going live this weekend.

So I am, naturally, a bit of a hot mess right now. All well-wishes and positive vibes are extremely appreciated.


Danny singing Oogie Boogie’s Song in Paris, followed by the curtain call -
John Mauceri does a French Santa Clause and I love when Danny loses his glasses :L

[21/10/2017 - huge thanks to Jen for the video]