Young guys ask me, Sheldon how do you do it? You’re not particularly attractive. Yet you’re always accompanied by such interesting women. My secret? Brut. I’ve having a longer chain put on this for my weekly trip to Atlantic City.
“A what?” Atsushi slowly lowered the cup he’d brought
to his lips.
Atsushi-kun! Nicknames!” Dazai said,
happily clapping his hands together and looking at Atsushi with an expectant
gleam in his eyes.
“Ah,” Atsushi put down his coffee and picked up his
pen again. Hopefully Dazai would leave it alone should he pretend to be busy
with this report – which he was – but
Dazai only leaned down further, practically hanging over Atsushi where he sat
by his desk, innocently performing his duties at the Agency.
Well?” Dazai pressed on, his tone of voice could only be described as giddy.
Atsushi’s shoulders lowered as he sighed and looked up
at the other man. “Honestly, Dazai-san,
I don’t really see any need for us to have nicknames for each other.”
Dazai made a sound, sounding vaguely offended, and
dramatically put his hand over his heart.
I’m hurt! A nickname is an important pillar of any relationship!” Here he
grabbed Atsushi’s hands to hold them against his chest instead, Atsushi still
holding his pen in a loose grip. “Especially since I can’t make you stop with
the honorific, these things are super important!”
Atsushi blinked owlishly, for the moment swayed by
Dazai’s – dubiously authentic – performance while being relieved they were
alone at the office at the same time.
Dazai nodded, encouraged by Atsushi considering the
idea he grabbed a chair and sat down, leaning his elbows on the desk while
still holding the other’s hands.
“Yes! We’ve been dating for – ah, three months now-“ Dazai stopped and smiled softly at him,
Atsushi gave a small smile back, “- and I think we need to take this a step
“Yes, nicknames! So, I’ll go first.”
I’m not sure this is necessary-“
Atsushi blinked, then frowned. “What?”
“Darling, honey, cutie pie,” Dazai kept listing names.
Atsushi could feel a headache coming. He dragged his hand over his eyes and
“You’re not making any sense.”
made that offended noise again and Atsushi felt him taking his other hand –
maybe to once again bring it to his chest and proclaim about the foundations of
a functioning relationship. Atsushi peeked through his fingers and watched as
Dazai elegantly held Atsushi’s hand in front of his own lips. He blew warm air
over the skin, and something inside of Atsushi’s stomach fluttered.
Dazai dragged his lower lip over Atsushi’s fingers and
then met his eyes. They seemed deep and warm in the sharp light of the
The butterflies in Atsushi’s stomach turner sharper,
he might’ve made a sound because Dazai’s gentle smile crooked; became smug. He
leaned closer, close enough for Atsushi to catch the faint fragrance of tea and
cologne over the beating of his heart that’d escalated quickly.
“You like that?” Dazai’s voice sounded smooth despite
his smile, his eyes twinkled. “Sweetheart?”
A furious blush stretched against his cheeks, Atsushi
could feel it. The more it grew the bigger the grin on Dazai’s face widened,
and Atsushi felt a strange feeling of losing
– what he didn’t know, only that it frustrated him. He tried for a response but
could only sputter helplessly.
Dazai chuckled and released his hand. “So that’s it,
huh?” He said victoriously.
Atsushi jerked his head up and took hold of Dazai’s hands
in a poor imitation of Dazai’s earlier actions. Heart in his mouth Atsushi said
with a slightly squeaky but serious voice:
Dazai froze. He looked from their intertwined hands up
to Atsushi’s determined face. Unblinking, he opened his mouth, then closed it.
“Well,” Dazai rasped and tried clearing his throat, “that’s
He got up, strange expression on his face, and then
walked towards the exit.
“Dazai? Where are you going?” Kunikida met him in the
door, looking up from his bunt of papers at Dazai’s retreating back.
“Oh, nothing. Just going to question the meaning of
life!” Dazai answered, his laughter stiff.
Kunikida yelled after him. He turned his head and stared hard at Atsushi. “What
Then he stopped and, stupefied, looked down at his
papers, “and why am I even acting
One of the most powerfull scenes for me in the Weston arc is when Maurice Cole finally gets a call-out. There are more strong scenes, of course, but big deal here is Edgar’s reaction. And that Edgar was hurt for more things that Maurice’s actions. I’ll elaborate.
This is a very powerfull moment. He seems calm, but his posture is too perfect, his back is not rested on the backrest, I bet his voice is neutral, it just… has a seriousness so unlike him. He’s anything but calm. There is also resignation on him, and this hurts my heart.
“I’m ashamed of my inability to judge people”. Pretty normal thing to say when someone betrayed you, isn’t? But the phrase before that, “Even you betrayed me…” leaves something on the air. He’s not surprised, because people has betrayed him before. Who could have betrayed him before? It wasn’t any of his closest friends aka the other prefects, and he’s a young man, betrayal seems like a strong word. He has lived this before and the question is how and who betrayed him.
A lot of things happen after it. Ciel becoming a fag, the cricket tournament. You may even forget the question or maybe not even take it into account in the first place (I know I didn’t). But then we have more context to what Edgar is saying.
It’s clear why he didn’t go with the rest to see what was Maurice doing. I mean, yes, maybe Ciel told him to stay, but truth be told he probably was terrified to find himself again facing that (and no wonder why he is ashamed).
Derrick was Edgar’s fag. Edgar has been fooled not once but twice, and in the same way. People who use other people to gain his trust.(And Ciel did it too, btw, just… in a different way). This is what trully bothers him, that they lied to him, and that he couldn’t see beyond their praises.
He’s of course upset because they are shaming what Weston means, but it’s because he likes what Weston means and believes in this (and being honest is part of weston). Not because Weston’s set of value was something he thought it had to be done word by word because that’s what they teached him, but because weston fits with him and he thought everything was “meant to be”.
And I think it comes down that Edgar is not really a rule freak. Not really.
Everyone was calling on a Y. He’s the guy who gave this dude that had alcohol 4Y and Soma, who broke the house with an elephant, 5Y (talk about influence). He follows the rules lightly, at his own accord. He forgave Ciel because he was small and pretty and it was an honest mistake.
I think Edgar’s morality is heavily based on his own perceptions of the world. What I mean is that Edgar would not have left himself be swallow by Weston’s ideals if he didn’t believe them fit for himself in the first place. He has this sense of detachment, he acts at his own free will, which is why he was so quickly into act like he did and hide everything as quick as he could. To put it more simply: he decided to be a puppet, and he would act like this in any contexts, in any set of values (cofcofbluesectcof). He’s a good prefect, he worked hard to achieve that, and he follows the rules, but he follows the rules not because he has to but because he trully believes in them and wants to honour them. He calls Lawrence by his name because the rule that says is forbidden is stupid and he likes to tease his childhood friend.
He and Gregory actually share this phylosophy. Greenhill was about to take himself to give himself up, if it weren’t for Gregory and Edgar’s mental resistence and disdain for silly moralities that don’t fit their own morality (as warped as it was on weston’s). Lawrence agreed to the plan when Gregory and Edgar took the charge of the situation, but he was as clueless as you can be before that.
And I’m not saying Lawrence is a weak who followed his friends in everything and that he’s actual innocent. He’s not, he helped to hold Agares and was as involved as anyone. He was proud too to help. But Violet and Edgar were the ones controlling the situation after everything happened, taking charge of the mood, because they were the ones that announced it. “We’re in this together” .
Edgar really shows how far he will go for the things he believes and for the things he trust in. He really only cares about what he thinks fit, be it weston’s rules or blue cult’s morality. And what he apreciates the more in people is honesty and loyalty. Which is why the scene with Maurice cause a big impact in me now that I see Edgar like this. Damn Maurice.
P.S: this is part of the reasons why I don’t believe they were actually brain-washed for the Blue Cult. I think they’re acting at their own will. This is why Gregory can dare to act melancholic, and all of them were tully happy to keep practicing even after Bravat told them to rest. Minus Gregory, maybe, they genuinily think this is good for them, they genuinily believe what the Blue Cult is preaching and they’re working hard because of this. Which only makes it more tragical at my sight.
I do think Blue Cult is hiding information of them, of course.
(You can disagree with the content of this post all you want, since is just an interpretation of his character).
[ omg y’all my dream is real, i’m teaching a lesson on octopuses on friday?!??!?!?! THAT IS SO COOL!!!!!! they’re not a widely understood animal so i’m just doing a basic overview of ecology/anatomy/beahviour etc… so it won’t be too taxing (unlike delving deep into nutrition requirements lmao that was hard af) BUT will still be so fun!!! :D it’s so cool to get the opportunity to teach people about a group of animals i love so much! ]