i'm still trying please forgive me

For You / Ieyasu x MC

Week 2

Tuesday

Whenever she asked him questions about himself, he always felt something cold move across him, as if he were iced from the inside, his organs and nerves being protected by a sheath of frost. In that moment, though, when the words slipped past her lips, he thought he might break, that if he said anything the ice would shatter and he would splinter and crack. So he waited until his voice sounded normal before he let the words fly:

“No,” he sneered, “I don’t need you anymore tonight. Or any other night. Know your place, kitchen wench.”

She took a long time to respond. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, milord,” she said, quietly, and though he didn’t look at her, staring hard at his book, he had felt her eyes on him the whole way, bearing down and heavy, until the moment she passed through his door and melted into the night.

The problem was that she was greedy for information: she wanted to know how he had been raised, and if he had any siblings, and who his friends were, true friends, and whether he preferred one flavour over another. And sometimes the air grew so hot not only with the questions she was asking, but the manner in which they were asked — honest, guileless and a little too foolish for a cook from Kyoto — that he felt strangled by their weight and frequency and inevitability.

She wanted to know so much; she wanted so many answers. And he understood it, he did— he wanted answers, too. He wanted to know everything about her as well, but while she had made her intention as clear as an arrow’s twang, he couldn’t bring himself to reciprocate, in part because of who he was, who he was meant to be, but also because he wasn’t sure whether it was worth the endeavour. If she was worth the effort.

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anonymous asked:

*Sobbing* Dearest Mercy Mains, I (A rein main) am deeply sorry. I TRY SO HARD, to keep you alive *HICCUP* BUT THeY Just kill you. EVEN though I smash my hammer into Winstons dumb monkey skull and scream "STAAAAAHP", he still manageS TO KILL YOU. I'M SO SORRY PLEASE forgive me. Love, THE BFG <3

Hurt

Word count: 1291

You and Kai have the worst fight that makes him storm out and cheat on you

‘You’re such an idiot, Kai!’ You yelled as you threw a glass right into the wall, watching it shatter on the floor.

‘You’re no better! Just accept that I’ll never change! I’ll stay the same sociopath who killed his family. You always say you forgave me but when we fight that’s the first thing you mention!’ Kai stated, watching you get lost. You didn’t know what to say because it was true. You never fully forgave him for being like that, even though you should have because you should’ve supported him in everything, no matter what because even thought he had his bad days, he was always there for you.

'Because it’s true, Kai! I… Just, get out!’ You screamed and ran to your room, slamming the doors behind you, leaving Kai alone in the kitchen. The moment you closed the bedroom doors, you sat down on the floor and leaned on the doors, dragging your knees closer as you wrapped your arms around them. A scream traveled through the house, making your body shake. This time you crossed the line and you knew this might be the end of your relationship with Kai, but maybe you both needed this. Get out everything and just scream at eachother so you can later work things out and forgive eachother. You heard Kai slamming the front doors, knowing he left somewhere where he will either kill someone or run through the woods and then come back. A tear rolled down your cheek as you quickly wiped it away and got up. You always tried to keep the feelings to yourself, you wanted to act strong and this was also one of those moments. You laid on the bed and covered yourself with a blanket as you stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything you and Kai said to eachother before he stormed out of the house.

Seconds, minutes, hours passed and there was still no sign of Kai. This was the first time Kai was out for so long. You had many fights but none of them was as bad as this one. Usually you forgave eachother after a few minutes, both realizing it was a mistake and that you were fighting because of a stupid reason. You thought this one would be the same, but after Kai not showing up, you knew something was wrong and that you both will regret fighting tonight.

You woke up and realized you were still in your room, not remembering at what exact time you fell asleep. You blinked a few times, waiting for your eyes to adjust to the dimmed light in the room. You got up and walked out of the room, your bare foot barely audible on the wooden floor that led straight to the kitchen. You poured yourself a glass of water and took a sip as you turned around and saw Kai sitting on the floor. You placed the glass on the table and walked over to him, kneeling down beside him.
His body was assembled into a ball, his head bent down, touching his knees. His arms folded in a weird way. You’ve never seen Kai like this so it was a really emotional situation to be caught in. His body jerked every few seconds as you realized he was crying. You swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Seeing Kai like this was very hard for you because you knew how emotionally hurt he was in the past and you tried to avoid hurting him like that as much as possible, even though sometimes you did just that.

'Kai?’ You laid a hand gently on his arm and then brought it down a bit as you rubbed his back. He still didn’t lift his head up and he kept the position you found him in.

'Please, Kai, look at me. I'm… sorry for everything I did. I- I know I’ve been hard on you and it’s fair of me to keep mention the exact same things when I should be there for you and I hope you can forgive me.’ Your voice trembled, trying to hold in your tears. Suddenly Kai lifted his head up, locking his eyes with yours. When you saw him, you eyes started watering. His eyes were red and puffy. He was crying this whole time. Some sort of fear entered your body, like you knew Kai was about to say something that was going to break your heart. He looked down again and closed his eyes, tears clearly visible on his cheeks.

'I’m sorry.’ He mumbled, his voice barely audible. You ran your fingers through your hair and sat down on the floor.

'I’m sorry too, Kai. I-’

'No, I’m sorry…for what I just did to you.’ He muttered, your heart suddenly beating rapidly. You swallowed hard and kept sitting, your body frozen and unable to move. You wanted to say something, multiple times, but you couldn’t find the words because you were scared. You were scared what was Kai about to say.

'It hurts me and I'm… I hope you can forgive me.’

'What did you do, Kai?’ You whispered, your voice shaking. He came closer to you, sitting only a few inches from your body. At first he hesitated, but he blurted it out.

'I…cheated.’ He whispered so quietly you barely even heard what he said.

'Can you… say that again?’

'I cheated on you.’ He stood up and kicked the chair with his leg, making it break. 'It’s eating me alive and I can’t change it! I can’t even explain how sorry I am. I’ll do anything, anything I can to fix this.’ He kneel down in front od you, taking your hands in his but you jerked them away and placed them behind your back. He looked at you wide eyes, knowing this wasn’t going in a right direction.

'Please…’ He begged, placing his finger under your chin as he lifted your head up, locking his eyes with your eyes.

'There’s nothing here you can fix, Kai.’ You said it, a little too calmly, making tears fall down Kai’s cheeks again. He started crying, placing his hands on his face.

'How could you do this to me? I thought we were ok, I thought… we can get through this like we always do.’ You mutter, your voice shaking as you started crying really hard, your cheeks stained with tears. Kai cupped your face and kissed your tear stained lips, but you weren’t returning the kiss. He pulled away and looked at your face, calm and it was unable to read your face expression, but deep down he knew you were breaking from the inside. He knew he just broke your heart and that he was going to lose you.

'Please, I can’t lose you. You’re everything I have. I need you, baby. Please.’ At those words, you stood up and looked down at Kai, still on his knees.

'It’s over, Kai. I guess you’re gonna have to find someone else because we, we don’t exist anymore. It’s just you. And there it’s just me. And there’s no going back.’ You said as you turned around and walked away, straight to your room, closing the doors behind you. As soon as you closed the doors, you threw the lamp across the room and dropped down to your knees.

'No!’ You screamed out, tears falling down your cheeks and onto your shirt. You felt like you were gonna pass out, like a part of you was just ripped out of your heart and your body and it hurt as hell. You’ve never felt more alone and the thought of never being able to be in Kai’s arms again, made your heart ache.

Betrayal starters
  • "I know you're hiding something from me."
  • "I trusted you!"
  • "I'm not angry. Just...tell me why."
  • "The truth hurts, doesn't it?"
  • "Tell me. What was I to you?"
  • "You shouldn't have trusted me to begin with."
  • "This has to be a misunderstanding."
  • "You're seeing someone else, aren't you?"
  • "Please...trust me one more time."
  • "I won't forgive you. I'll never forgive you."
  • "I didn't want you to find out this way."
  • "I trust you. Even if I don't understand your reasons, I still trust you!"
  • "Wait. I can explain!"
  • "I lied."
  • "How could I forget what you did?"
  • "You wouldn't understand."
  • "This is goodbye. Don't try and look for me."
PSA (sorta)

(At tutor so no icons)

Feelsbadman I’m mainly shitposting on this blog at this point bc I may or may not have lost my threads, so when I follow new rp blogs to maybe have a chance to interact with them, most of them don’t take interest and follow back bc my blog’s a mess rn and plus the theme is screwed up so I just look really unprofessional at this point.

And not only that I’m struggling through my classes so I barely had time to keep up with this blog, hence why I’ve migrated somewhat to @yorhanovemixs for a while since it’s more quieter and has less activity so I’m able to keep up with it no trouble.

Guh - I’m really sorry guys for not being active. I still answer asks SOBS but as for threads I want to put dedication and thought into my replies, so I have less motivation to do them for fear of me seemingly bs-ing replies and I don’t want to do that bc my rp partners deserves better /LAYS DOWN

I’m so sorry AAAA but I’ll definitely remember to release the new edit for May’s chapter of OnS - and boy are we in for ONE HECK OF A RIDE! Get ready guys! :DDDD

Also, I’m heading to Titan Con this Saturday!!! Who’s going?? Look out for a Poharan from BnS bc that’s me! I can’t go as Lest bc my cosplay for him is still in need of repairs and improvements lolol and I won’t finish it in time by Titan Con so RIP 

Other than that, guess that’s all I want to say lolol thanks for reading! <3

ASTORIA Lyric Starters
  • "Never after will suffice."
  • "It's gonna be a long year."
  • "Tell me I survive."
  • "Bite my neck while you say his/her name, I will scratch your back to forget her/his face."
  • "Ever just say 'fuck it'?"
  • "Might as well say 'fuck it'."
  • "Let's all say 'fuck it'."
  • "Is it bad enough to call it off?"
  • "I can't help but want you too."
  • "Don't say you don't miss me that much."
  • "Don't say I don't still make you blush."
  • "God, I like it rough."
  • "You got me freaking out."
  • "You should see me now."
  • "Don't you want to kiss me someday too?"
  • "Let's dance!"
  • "Tomorrow's a day away."
  • "I'm just so good at fucking up."
  • "Just come back to bed."
  • "I thought you might be here."
  • "I've been broken, but I'm better everyday."
  • "What if we could find a way to try and heal?"
  • "What if there was still a little bit of hope?"
  • "So nice to see you here."
  • "It's been, what, a half a year?"
  • "But that's not what I came for."
  • "This means war."
  • "I'm calm, I'm sure of it."
  • "You should come over."
  • "We don't have to talk of where we go from here."
  • "This last call could be all we can do for each other."
  • "We'll toast what could have been."
  • "To my dearly departed."
  • "You could say you're kind of bored with this."
  • "I don't want you leaving me now."
  • "You say I'm a mess."
  • "Or you could just shut up and kiss me."
  • "Don't say to me you should stay away from me."
  • "I don't know why I just can't get away from myself."
  • "I've been away too long."
  • "Who do you love?"
  • "I won't stay away too long."
  • "Nothing will ever change if you never choose."
  • "I never thought we would be here again."
  • "When did we both get so afraid to speak?"
  • "We just can't let this go."
  • "Maybe our future's so bright, it fucking burns like a wild
  • fire."
  • "Maybe the truth hurts so it's easier not to know."
  • "I wanna hear how your heart speaks."
  • "This should be the time of our lives."
  • "I've been so lost without you."
  • "God, I miss you."
  • "I'm here to remind you what's lost is never gone."
  • "You will forget me not."
  • "I'm not ready for what's to come."
  • "I still need you, my friend."
  • "Life's too short, but the end is long."
  • "I can't try if you won't."
  • "Please just let me go, my dear."
  • "Get up and face me."
  • "It's about fucking time now."
  • "Can you find forgiveness in a dear old friend?"
  • "This is our goodbye."
  • "I hope you know I don't blame you my dear friend."
  • "Always will love you still."

anonymous asked:

1. Thank you so much for creating this blog. -gives out cookies- 2. Relationship headcanons with licht please?

(*looks at cookies* I can only hope these are not oatmeal raisin. *Starts eating them before you can respond* Also coming right up! - Mod Leo)

  • He will be the one to ask you out. It will probably involve him talking about how much of an angel he is and how lucky you are to have fallen for him
  • Do not expect much PDA from him, and on the rare times he does it will only be hand holding.
  • Puts the Sun in Tsudere. Literal emotional cactus but he will try very hard to work on getting his feelings out without yelling at his significant other
  • Normally he only yells when Hyde does something and he’s still fuming from that
  • You have to go to all his concerts it is mandatory. He doesn’t care if you fall asleep halfway through just as long as you are physically present it puts him at ease.
  • Probably considers going to his concerts a date. Will probably take his significant other out to a fancy restaurant with a piano. Will kick the guy who is on the piano off so he can play it because that guy was obviously not doing it correctly.

“i like you.”

yoongi tilts his head to the side, surveying his roommate with a meticulous gaze. after a significant lapse of silence he starts humming, as if in deep contemplation, both his eyes squinting as he continues to scrutinize the tall, lanky boy towering by his side of the bed.

the juxtaposition of the entire situation, with tiny min yoongi pretty much intimidating the skyscraper that is kim namjoon into a fidgeting mess, could be deemed funny if not for the fact neither of them are even close to laughing. in fact, namjoon is starting to look extremely constipated the more he stands there with yoongi’s eyes boring holes into him, but he doesn’t waver nor flinch throughout the entire ordeal.

“well, i think you’ve finally got it.” yoongi finally remarks, unable to stop the twitch at the corners of his lips. namjoon’s shoulders immediately slump in relief, a smile of his own spreading across his face. “you still kinda look like you’re about to shit your pants, but at least it’s a step-up from looking like you did shit your pants.”

yoongi.” namjoon groans, trying for an exasperated look, but he ends up laughing anyway, taking a weak swing that yoongi dodges easily. “look, i’m being serious. i really, really like this person, and i don’t wanna fuck this up. just be honest with me, okay?”

yoongi pulls a face, scrunching his nose as he takes his turn at taking a swing. he lifts himself off his bed for a moment, resting his weight on his knees so he can land his fist against namjoon’s shoulder. namjoon doesn’t try to dodge it though, just catches yoongi’s fist with his own hand, his fingers running over yoongi’s knuckles.

“eugh, you’re gross when you’re in love.” yoongi shakes off his hand, the same faux look of annoyance on his face. namjoon splutters, cheeks going pink, but yoongi doesn’t take the opportunity to tease him anymore. instead, he looks him straight in the eye, voice unfaltering even when the words taste bitter on his tongue. “i don’t even know why you had to ask me for practice. whoever you’re confessing to, i know they’ll like you back.” this makes namjoon’s face grow even pinker, and yoongi ignores the urge to smooth a finger over his skin, as if wanting to see if the color would smear right off of him, considering how vivid it is even in the dim light.

“i mean,” he breaks eye contact at this point, fixing his gaze on namjoon’s sock-clad feet. “you may not be as great of a catch as i am, but they’ll have to make do, right?”

there’s a pause that follows after that, then namjoon laughs, but softer this time, less forced than earlier. “yeah, i know that.”

yoongi blinks, looking up at namjoon once more, but before he can even ask what the hell that meant, he’s already taking a deep breath, puffing his chest out in a show of exaggerated confidence.

“well,” he nearly shouts, his hands balled into fists by his sides. there is a look of immense determination on his face, and yoongi thinks, wow, he must really like this person. “i’m gonna go. confess, i mean. here i go. wish me luck.”

yoongi grins, a stiff little thing that hangs precariously between his cheeks. he doesn’t wish namjoon luck, just gives him a thumbs up that namjoon accepts all the same. but when he’s halfway out of the door yoongi decides not to be too weird and follows it up with a “don’t forget to bring a condom!”

the sound of namjoon stumbling into the hallway is enough to wring out a genuine laugh from yoongi. but then all too soon it dissolves into nothingness, replaced by a rather grim scowl as he tries to ignore the odd twist in his gut.

the truth is (and this is the absolute truth, not the truth that he tries to fool himself with, but the real one that’s been gnawing at the back of his mind ever since namjoon had made it known he was crushing on someone), yoongi may or may not be a little, just the tiniest bit, very, very mildly jealous.

despite this honest self-assessment, yoongi still cringes. that dreaded j word always makes him feel like that hopeless third wheel in any shitty k-drama, looking on in disdain when the two main characters end up together. what’s even worse is that it’s not hard to imagine– namjoon with a pretty girl clinging to his arm, or maybe with a cute boy, smiling and blushing as they lace their fingers together.

this is how yoongi spends his first five minutes of isolation, alternating between breaking and nursing his heart when he hears footsteps drawing nearer and nearer until namjoon’s face pops in again. yoongi doesn’t even have enough time to look like he’d been back to working on his paper, his laptop still on the same spot he’d pushed it aside when namjoon had first come in, so he merely blinks instead.

“back so soon?” he says with an eyebrow quirk. he looks at namjoon hard and long, but his face gives nothing away. “well?” he tries to grin, as malicious and teasing as possible, but this time his cheeks don’t quite cooperate, so when he continues he looks just as serious as he sounds, “how’d it go?”

namjoon shrugs, stepping into yoongi’s room again. he has his hands clasped together, fingers pulling at each other in a sign of extreme nervousness. yoongi frowns and doesn’t quite understand, but just when he’s about to vocalize this namjoon speaks up again.

“i don’t know,” he mumbles, just loud enough to barely reach yoongi’s ears. then namjoon walks closer, his steps careful and almost cautious as he stands right in front of yoongi, looking down at him with a nervous smile. “but i’m about to find out soon.”

then, with an exhale that seems to let everything go, namjoon says, “i like you, yoongi.”

it takes approximately half a minute of blinking and open-mouthed gawking before namjoon’s confession sinks in and oh. oh.

this time yoongi’s cheeks are pulling up almost of their own accord, making him smile in the way that he absolutely hates, all small teeth and pink gums, but now he finds that he couldn’t care less. not when namjoon’s standing less than two feet in front of him, jaw tense with nerves and hands still wringing together.

it’s a repetition from a few moments ago, with yoongi tilting his head and humming in contemplation, namjoon towering over him but looking strangely small in the way he’s waiting in bated breath.

“you still look like you’re about to shit your pants,” yoongi concludes with an air of finality, lifting a hand up to take one of namjoon’s hands in his own. their palms press together as perfectly as their fingers fit in between each other, and this knowledge makes yoongi feel terribly, wholly pleased. he looks back up at namjoon, knows that he’s blushing just as much as the bumbling, adorable idiot, and realizes that he’s totally okay with that. “but i like you just the same.”

anonymous asked:

The only thing I don't get about p@yneton is like...why would Liam have a fake queer relationship to cover up his real one? Is it because Zayn is currently in a position where he's unable to come out due to now becoming an RnB artist? I definitely think something shady is going on. Only thing I'm sure of is Ziam are still together, so I don't understand all the people suddenly thinking they aren't.

hiiiiiii! first i want to apologize for being a deadbeat dad about answering this ask. it was one of those things where i started to draft a reply and then pressed “Save Draft” and looked at my drafts just now and I AM THE WORST I AM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I AM A FULL TIME SINGLE CAT MOM AND CAREER WOMAN TRYING tO DO IT ALL. 

So between the time you sent this ask and now, Payneton has essentially blown up in the fandom in the space of 6 days. It’s a real thing now, as real as the Dorito chip fingers I have as I’m trying to type. 

So, if Payneton is a fauxmance (and I do genuinely think it is, it has all the hallmarks of a traditional 1DHQ bearding) why would Liam have a fake queer relationship to cover up his real one? Why would the decision in the boardroom be “Hey Limothy is queer, we should throw more gay on it”? Even though I can usually make anything about Ziam, I actually don’t think this is directly about Ziam or Zayn’s closet at all (although as an aside, I agree with you that Ziam themselves are still very much ziam af). 

Here’s the thing about Paynetongate - if I were to take my logicalness off the table and simply just engage my Oliva Pope Gut, I think Paynetongate could have  the earmarks of a Babygate level stunt - Gaybygate, if you will.

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1D Pref; Someone breaks into your home but he's not there (Zayn)

You and Zayn were having a really good time at your shared flat, just hanging out and watching movies. Until you guys said a few words and it turned into a heated argument. 

“No, go fuck yourself Zayn!” You hollered, angry.

“You’re a bitch.” He retorted. You don’t even remember what you guys were arguing about in the first place. “I’m leaving, don’t expect me to come back for a while." 

"Yeah, just like that. Leave! Like you always do!” You exclaimed. Zayn walked out and slammed the door, the noise echoing across the room.

It’s been 2 hours and Zayn still hasn’t come back. You remember when he said he wasn’t going to come back home for a while, but you didn’t think he was serious.

As you were about to head upstairs to clean to get your mind off of Zayn, you heard glass shattering from the kitchen. 

“Zayn?” You called out, maybe he was drunk.. No answer. You slowly walked towards the kitchen, hoping it’d be a drunk Zayn. 

But to your surprise, it was anyone but Zayn.. There was a man in a ragged tshirt and baggy black jeans rummaging through the kitchen drawers. 

Letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, you quickly & quietly ran upstairs and locked yourself in the farthest room from the kitchen. Dialing Zayn’s number, you called him, hoping he’d pick up.

“please.. please Zayn pick up.” You begged, tears falling. No answer. 

You tried calling him and texting him multiple times but no answer. Also trying the lads number, it was all sent to voice mail. 

“shit. shit. shit..” You panicked and called Zayn again. Every call, you were sent straight to voice mail. You continued to call him and text him, but still there was no answer. 

A moment later, the door knob began to rattle and of course, the man knew you were in here.

*Zayn’s P.O.V*

I left to hang out with the lads, forgetting about what Y/N and I were fighting about in the first place. I figured I’ll apologize to her in the morning, knowing she needs some time. The lads and I were hanging out and just playing some videos games when Y/N called me.

“Mate, you gotta play hard to get. Don’t pick up.” One of our good friends said.

“No, Zayn. Y/N could be in trouble.” Liam replied.

“Nah, she’ll be fine.” I laughed it off and joined the lads, turning my phone on silent.

After playing with the lads and winning every round, I let Harry take my place, so I can get some fresh air and check my phone. 

“Maybe you should call Y/N back now.” Liam said. I nodded and checked my phone to see about 20 missed calls and loads of text messages from Y/N. 

‘shit zayn, i know you’re still mad at me, but please pick up! I’m in trouble fuck.. please pick up’

There were several more messages saying 'help’ and I didn’t know what was going on. 

“Boys, we need to go. NOW.” I hurried out the door with the lads following behind.

“What? What’s going on?” Louis rushed, trying to put his shoes on.

“Y/N’s in trouble! I don’t know what happened, but I have 20 missed calls from her.” I said. If anything happened to her, I would never forgive myself. 

“Mate, she called me too.." 

"Yeah, she called me three”

“She called me twice”

“I think something happened.. Because if she called all of us, it has to be serious.” Louis commented.

“Fuck! If anything happens to her, I swear.. I’ll never forgive myself!” I shouted, getting into the car, Liam driving since he was afraid I’d do something stupid. 

Getting there felt like forever, however it was just a 10 min drive. Before Liam could fully park, I jumped out of the car running up the porch. 

“ZAYN!” The lads shouting running after me, but I didn’t care. I ran inside and saw glass shatters all over the kitchen.

“Y/N!!” I screamed for her, hoping she’d still be here. All I needed was to see her. I sprinted upstairs searching every room until I found her.. In the guest room lying helplessly on the floor, blooding all over the floor.

“Y/N! NO, please. Wake up!” I cried, “LIAM! CALL 911 NOW!”

“Shit.. Y/N..” Harry ran over to help me carry her onto the bed. 

“Babe please.. wake up. Don’t do this to me, I love you. I’m sorry! If only I picked up your calls sooner. Oh god, I am so sorry.. Please Y/N wake up!” I demanded, but nothing. She looked so helpless. 

“Zayn, they’re here.” Niall said, I carried Y/N downstairs and they put her into the ambulance taking her to the hospital, and for sure I got in with her.

“We’ll meet you at the hospital.” Louis said. I nodded before the doors closed and off we went.. to the hospital.

Once we arrived at the hospital, they took Y/N in for surgery and to make sure everything is okay.. I sat in the waiting chair with the lads by my side. It felt like forever sitting there not knowing if she’ll make it.. 

“Family of Y/N Y/L/N?” the doctor asked, still checking his clipboard.

I immediately stood up, “I’m her boyfriend!" 

"Well, she could of died if you didn’t bring her in sooner. There was huge amount of blood loss and she’s recovering. She’s lucky to have you, or else she would’ve passed..” The doctor said, “It will take time to heal, but it will heal." 

"Oh my god.. Thank you so much!” I was so glad Y/N was okay, “When can I see her?" 

"You may see her now, just one person at a time.” He replied, walking off. 

“Zayn, you go. We’ll wait.” Harry said, pointing towards the room Y/N was in. I nodded and thanked them for being there for me.

Walking in, I was scared and nervous..

“Zayn?” Y/N croaked, her voice was low and empty..

“Hey baby.. you’re awake." 

"I’m sorry.” She apologized, pain evident in her eyes.

“No no.. I’m sorry. For not answering your calls and not being there for you when you needed me.” I was hoping to sound strong, but my voice cracked.

“No, Zayn. You saved me and that’s all that matters. I love you so much, thank you.” She said.

“I love you.. I’m sorry." 

"Stop apologizing.” She laughed, her beautiful laugh. Just on time, the lads all walked in putting a finger to their lips knowing they’re not suppose to be in here. 

“Hi Y/N, how ya feeling?" 

"Wow, I missed you." 

"You looked like you just seen a ghost, or worse.. something terribly ugly looking.” Harry said.

“That’s because I just did. you.” She replied.

“ooOOH burn. You just got burned by a girl, who lemme tell you, is lying in a hospital bed who just got out of surgery.” Niall exclaimed, laughing his ass off like always.

Harry put a hand over his heart, “ouch that hurts.” He pouted.

I laughed along with the boys,

“I’m kidding. You’re the most handsome boy, next to Zayn of course.” Y/N replied, causing me to blush. 

“I love you, Y/N." 

"And I love you, Zayn.” She said. I leaned in and kissed her softly, but passionately. 

“UGH, get a room” Louis exclaimed, joking. “As much as i love you two together, I’m not kidding about the room thing." 

That just caused all of us to laugh and forgot the incident ever happened. 

A/N: Well, this was super long haha. Hope you guys enjoyed it! If you have an preference requests, please let me know :) 

youaretheomnishambles  asked:

Please please please forgive me for my ignorance (I am one of those who has suffered from an eating disorder and I am still trying to break out of my 'fat is bad' mentality I'm so sorry) and I don't trust google - what is difference between obesity and being fat? I.e. does obesity encompass health issues like diabetes/health conditions/etc.? Or is 'obese' just a blanket term used by the medical community idk I've just been told so many different things.

Obesity is a term used by medical professionals to attempt to pathologize fat bodies, to say that fat bodies are sick. It is defined solely by BMI, which is nothing more than a height-to-weight ration. It’s not even based on body fat percent. The rock? Most body builders? Medically obese, according to the BMI. But it’s aimed at fat people.

The BMI doesn’t have any relation to individual health, and was never ever intended to. When it was first created, the “normal” weight was set by what size had the longest life span on average. Only it was based on a very small sample of men of a particular age, economic class, and ethnic group. Since then, it’s gone through a number of permutations, none of which accurately reflect the population at large, and most recently the “normal” weight has been adjusted down. It no longer has any relation to life span, even; now the people with the longest life expectancy are in the overweight and obese categories.

“Obese” has nothing to do with actual health. It’s just an attempt to claim that fat = sick.

Fat, on other other hand, means, as a noun, adipose tissue, and as an adjective, people who have a lot of adipose tissue. It’s used as an insult, but around here, we don’t think fat is bad, so we don’t take it as one.

-MG

Sometimes I think really deeply about Rage status in Persona. I mean, just consider it. There are so many ways it could be spun. Imagine, instead of its usual effect, your best friend turns on you and looks at you with an expression of hatred, not even recognizing you, and has animalistic fury in their eyes.

For an example, let’s say Yosuke and Souji. Yosuke gets hit with Rage. He immediately goes after Souji, not even seeming to think about what he’s trying to do to his precious partner. He doesn’t snap out of it until he’s slammed Souji onto the floor, kunai jabbed so close to his face that it’s a wonder they aren’t stabbing him straight up…I don’t think he’d even be able to forgive himself after that. Sure, it was a status effect. But he still nearly badly hurt his best friend. Might even avoid Souji for a while.

anonymous asked:

I don't want to live anymore. I know I won't commit suicide mainly bc it's haraam ans I'm scared I'll go to hell. But I want away with this life. I try so hard to be a good person, read all my namaz, do dhikr, and obvi I have slip ups now and then but I'm not as bad as I could be like be in the same room as a non mahram, let alone talk to them. You're probably wondering why I'm telling you- I have no one to tell. I feel so alone and I'm so young. I swear I'm not trolling. Please pray for me.

May Allah make it easy for you.

Don’t worry too much, you’re still young, and Allah willing. Don’t dwell on negative things too much, remember there are many people worse off than you. When you feel alone, why not try and get yourself involved with charity work… help others. You’ll find it much more rewarding. 

Don’t worry about slipping up and making mistakes, all you have to know that Allah is the Most Merciful, and the Most Compassionate. Always seek forgiveness from Him.

Try and stay away from the internet as much as you can, believe it or not, it only adds to depression and negativity, go out more, speak to people, learn about Islam, and share it with others. 

Trust me, You have so much potential in you to make a positive change, if not in the world, to at least another living being.

I pray Allah grants you sabr and eases any afflictions from you. Ameen.