[keith standing outside his fencing practice, angsting in the heavy rain to set the mood as he stares down at his phone and watches each minute tick by, each minute making lance later and later to pick him up]
lance, huffing and puffing, drenched and sweating, pulling up on his mum’s pedal bike with a basket on the back that he expects Keith to sit in, and that keith will most definitely sit in; he smirks at keith, even as his body shakes from the cold and overuse, giving him a shakey two fingered salute: the hero has arrived – sorry my car broke down so i had to steal my mum’s bike so i could pick you up keith, not meeting lance’s eyes [mumbles]: i thought you’d skipped out on me lance: *gasp* lance: *puts hands on keith’s shoulders* keith, still stunned every time by lance’s touch even though they’ve been dating for five months: *gasp* lance, sincerely, hands still on Keith’s shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes: i would never skip you, you’re like leg day keith, tears in his eyes, pulling lance off the bike so he can kiss him [fondly]: lance, that doesn’t even make sense, you don’t go to the gym, what are you even talking about, i love you so much-
Chrissy, I just realized that whoever/whatever Gompers is, he's still fricking married to Waddles. And it's hilarious. IMAGINE GOMPERS GETTING BACK HIS ORIGINAL FORM AND JUST BEING LIKE 'WHERE'S MY HUSBAND' AND THEN R.I.P. WHATEVER AGENTS TOOK WADDLES. I'M LAUGHING TOO HARD HE LP (also that would be really funny bc it would kinda make a same-sex relationship canon, even if one party is a pig. A big 'fuck you' to censors everywhere right there, man)
“Yooo Tad! Long time no see! How’s earth been working out for you?”
“Bill, I would like you to take that bowtie of yours, and firmly shove it deep into the recesses of your lone, gaping, revolting cornea.”
“Woaaah hostility, Tad. Not the kindest way to greet your best pal after 3,000 years!”
“You cursed me to live in that vile mammalian body for the past three millenia! I am not in the least bit concerned with the cordial nuances of this meeting!”
“But what’s the harm in shooting the breeze? Besides I thought it might be fun! Those things have four legs you know. Imagine the possibilities!”
“You left me to wither and die here.”
“So how was goat life anyway? Make any friends? Form any permanent unbreakable contracts?”
“Oh my god that’s a yes.”
“I did not initiate the contract, Bill! It was the niece of my designated caregiver. I am sworn to that swine of hers.”
“Shut. up. Tell me everything.”
“There’s nothing to tell! My limited investigations have led me to believe there is a ceremonial practice that may sever this tie. A double force of sorts, a di-force. I have yet to ascertain all the important details.”
“My little brother got married and I missed it! I cannot believe it. Little Thaddeus growing up. Oh gosh Tad I’ve got to tell Mom. She’s going to be soo excited.”
I bought these socks at primark when I was in London because I thought it’d be funny to wear them to school and I just tried them and Harry’s face became disfigured immediately I can’t stop fucking laughing who the hell thought this was a good idea
(for those of you guys who may not know what yaja time is, it's basically a time when the ages are flipped - so the younger ones are the 'hyungs' and the older ones have to speak in formal speak to the younger ones)
(to xiumin) be quiet.
(turns to xiumin who had his arms around chanyeol) where do you think you're touching??
you shouldn't have your arms behind you~
why are you laughing?!
you think this situation is funny, huh?
ey, stay still. the hyungs aren't even moving.
(to chanyeol) don't fool around, don't fool around! you understand or not?!
I'm laughing that they took the baby purchase pictures in a store!! Honestly it's such funny timing. They're getting it done while there's still worth before it's no longer his. Honestly I just keep getting convinced more than ever we are looking at final dregs right now.
I mean they couldn’t even show the items in a real nursery. this is so transparent it’s hilarious