<b>Korse:</b> </b> One more day to revolution, we will nip it at the bud, we'll be ready for these schoolboys, they will wet themselves with blood<p/><b>Tommy Chow Mein:</b> Watch them run amuck, catch them as they fall, never know your luck when there's a free-for-all. Here a little dip, there a little touch, most of them are goners so they won't miss much<p/></p><p/></p>
When they’re not busy being horrifying murderers the FAHC are massive dorks right? I mean probably also while they’re busy being horrifying murderers.
They’ve all said ridiculous stuff in the heat of the moment, all high tensions and maximum drama, full of adrenaline and bravado, the kind of danger-fuelled delirium that makes anything sound like a hollywood one-liner. At least in your own head. When there’s no mocking chorus to bring you crashing back to earth. After all, just because they’ve all been there doesn’t mean the FAHC don’t leap at the chance to taunt each other relentlessly when it happens.
It’s Gavin’s job to say what people want to hear, to get his way no matter how he has to say it, but he’s so aware of the absurdity, so amused by the bizarre shit that comes out of his own mouth, that the others can only really laugh with him. Can’t mock him any harder than he’s already mocking the target, judgemental of of their affections, of the ridiculous boasts and perverse compliments, of all the pathetic ways they like to have their egos stroked.
The others though, the heavy hitters who will always be more comfortable with violence than diplomacy have been known to get caught up in the drama of it all. Spouting absolute bullshit, tone and intention holding enough weight to carry the threat no matter how exactly it’s expressed. Not even Geoff and Jack are immune to the occasional unintentionally silly threat, high stakes and snappy tempers the perfect cocktail for accidental hilarity.
To be fair it generally works, if your reputation precedes you and you’re armed to the teeth you can say whatever you want and still bring forth fear; no survivor is going to pause to consider whether a threat makes sense, or is anatomically possible, or is simply ripped right out of a movie. The rest of their crew on the coms though? You better believe they’re listening and prepared to dissect every embarrassing moment at length..
Going to shove his eyeball where? Really Ryan? With your teeth? Don’t you think i didn’t catch that Michael, everyone’s seen Pulp Fiction you pleb. How would you even begin to turn someone inside out though, do you start with the skin or the insides, god have you even considered the mess? Can you even reach that Lil'J? I mean seriously do you have a ladder or..? Oooh i’m sure she’s right terrified now Geoffrey, nothing like a bit of casual grade-school name calling to put the fear in them. Was that.. Did you just threaten to wedgie him to death? So todays lesson seems to be that Jack has no idea how the propellors on her planes actually work, i’m not the only one worried about this right? You’ll show him bloody? Wow you fucking got him there dude, congrats. Ahh the notorious Vagabond, unstoppable killer, merciless torturer, apparently capable of patting a grown man to death..
idk if anyone mentioned this but imagine the raven boys + blue meeting the foxes. because honestly none of the characters in the raven cycle seem interested in sports, so they probably didn’t follow what happened in the Exy world. idk how they meet. maybe the team makes a stop in Henrietta and they meet bc Nicky wants to go see psychics and drags the whole team.
maybe Gansey’s mom as part of her campaign goes to Palmetto for publicity and brings Gansey with her. Gansey of course convinces them to go bc college and they get introduced to the foxes. andrew being our smart (small) child sees noah and goes, “what’s wrong with you?” while the foxes are all shocked (”Andrew!”). “I’ve been dead for seven years.”
imagine nicky meeting adam parrish. we all know adam needs a nicky in his life. Andrew will hate Gansey bc of his privilege white boy school president mode, but KEVIN and GANSEY being nerds together. (isn’t kevin a history major?)
also ronan lynch and andrew joseph minyard meeting. the end.
To all the men who have ever criticized my body for the fat that it carries:
My cats only knead three things: soft blankets, soft pillows, and my fat. I am soft enough that they get comfort kneading me, and if that’s not an affirmation that a body is good, I don’t know what is.