“Do you always understand everything you feel?” Cas asked, one day.
He thought, obscurely, that Spring was the right time for a question like this; or at least this Spring was - a Spring that felt fresh and light and hazy, still dazed by the wonder of Winter’s passing. Dean, sitting in the car beside him, looked washed out by it - or rather, washed clean, Cas supposed he meant. Softened, in any case.
“How d’you mean?” Dean said. He turned to Cas, the bright sun shrinking out the darkness in his eyes - turning them green. Green like go-lights, green like mazes - no, gentler than both of those; green like the water-full leaves of succulent plants. Green like book covers, like peppermint-flavour candies.
“I mean… do you ever feel something that you can’t explain? Something… ineffable?”
Dean pressed his lips together. Cas wondered if he needed to explain the word ‘ineffable’.
“Nah?” he said. “I guess most of what I feel, I know what to call it. I don’t always like it, but at least I know what it is.”
Cas nodded seriously. Dean let the silence rest for a while as they cruised down the Spring-morning road.
“What about you?” he said eventually.
Cas lifted a shoulder.
“I… have a thousand words for how things feel,” he said, “and a thousand things to feel within me. But I… I cannot make them match.”
Whoo. My week has been packed and I am very tired and ouchy. I also just spent the last hour and a half doing some major Home organizing and crunched some numbers according to my plot outline:
There are 57 drawings remaining; 27 of those are absolutely essential and must be included in the last chapter. I just counted my drawings and I have 30 (almost 31!) finished.
Which brings us back to my original claim back in August that the last chapter would have 60 drawings (31+27 = close enough). The drawings that aren’t essential would be adorable and funny, but I think I will have to omit them since… Since I don’t want to post the last chapter in 2021.
Soooooo according to my calculations, since it takes me about 4 days (14-24 solid hours) to complete one drawing, it will take me 108 days to finish the last essential 27…. AKA, 3.5 months. Factoring in family dinners and other distractions, I’ll round up to four months. So…
New estimate: Chapter 18 will be posted in late June.
A few have already started proclaiming their disapproval/lost interest due to the time I’ve spent already. I really want you, my beautiful and kind readers, to know that it pains me dearly to delay the last chapter as long as I am, but I’m adamant about ending Home right. These drawings are very warm, colorful and detailed, and it will wrap up everything in the best, fuzziest, happiest way.
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Because I’ve been so excited about the recent Person of Interest season finale, I decided to revisit my older paintings of Reese and Finch - they are among, if not actually, my favorite portraits I’ve ever done, and deserved some touchup and refinement. This show has come so far and raises such interesting questions - it’s a privilege to paint these characters (and hopefully I’ll do more this year during the hiatus!)
Me in my head:
YO!!!!!GARRY!!!! I'M COMIN' I'M COMIN. OH MY GOD IT'S GARRY COLEMAN! YES I AM! I'M GARRY COLEMAN FROM TV'S DIFF'RENT STROKES. I MADE A LOT OF MONEY THAT GOT STOLEN BY MY FOLKS. NOW I'M BROKE AND I'M THE BUTT OF EVERYONE'S JOKES. BUT NOW I'M HERE THE SUPERINTENDENT OF AVENUE Q!!!!! IT SUCKS TO BE YOOOOOU! YOU WIN! IT SUCKS TO BE YOOOOOU! I FEEL BETTER NOW! TRY HAVING PEOPLE STOPPING YOU TO ASK YOU "WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, WILLIS?" It,,,, gets,,,,old,,,,,,,,
okay you know what pisses me off? the fact that every other love interest kara has had, it has ended because of things that happen have even to her and mon-el
with adam, she didn’t think it was meant to be because they were always interrupted (via kidnapping or other means). with james, it was the same damn thing. they were getting interrupted constantly. that led her to think that the universe was telling her not to do it, that she wasn’t ready and needed to focus on her
now, i’m not knocking that. i’m knocking the fact that that same shit happens with mon-el. their first kiss was under a poison/drug induced mon-el who pretended it never happened. their other “flirtations” were interrupted or kara showed obvious disinterest. and their latest “thing” was interrupted again. but kara will bend over backwards to make this work, right? because he’s basic straight cis white boy #3 and that’s who she’s meant to be with because oh don’t the cw just love their basic white boys who give nothing to the plot but take everything from the leading ladies and the men of colour who should be getting the screen time (and the girl), and also the lesbians