Can I request RFA + saeran reacting to a MC self harming like how they would find out and react (sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to this) I'm currently almost a year clean!
Well done, anon! That’s a brilliant achievement ^^. I’m over 2 years clean now and currently feel really positive in myself. I really hope I wrote these alright because everyone self-harms for different reasons and feels differently about it. I tried to sort of generalise it and I’ll put a trigger warning here that there are mentions of self harm and blood (Not detailed, though) ~H x
RFA with an MC that self harms
-He saw it by accident one day at school
-You were both in science, doing an experiment involving water
-The water had splashed on your sleeve and Yoosung had kindly offered to dry it off
-You didn’t expect him to pull your sleeve up, though
-He saw the scars on your arm and gasped in shock, quickly pulling the sleeve back down so that no-one else sees
-You looked down in shame
-Yoosung was never meant to see that
-“I’m… sorry,” you apologised.
-“You’re coming to mine after school, right? I really want to talk to you. Why are you sorry?” Yoosung responded.
-“I thought you’d be upset with me. Or disappointed,” you explained.
-Instead of answering, Yoosung pulls you into a big hug as you try not to cry
-At Yoosung’s after school he asks you when it started and why it started
-You’re reluctant to tell him but he eventually has you in tears, spilling out the full story of when you started with depression
-All throughout, Yoosung hugs you close to him, rocking you and stroking your hair
-“You’ve been through so much, MC,” Yoosung said after you’ve finished, “I’m so proud of how strong you’ve been. But please- it breaks my heart to think that the most wonderful, most beautiful person I know would harm herself because she thinks she isn’t good enough.”
-You nod. You understand how he feels and you wish it was as simple to stop
-But Yoosung went through a rough enough time after hearing that Rika was mentally ill
-So now that he knows what you’ve been suffering with, he’s not letting the same thing happen to his precious girlfriend. He wants to get you professional help.
-And if you think he’ll be too shy and won’t
-Because this boy loves you
-After a while of dating, he noticed that you always wore long sleeved tops
-One day, it was absolutely boiling outside but you wouldn’t take your jumper off
-Even though you feel like you’re going to be fried alive
-“Babe, just take your jumper off! You look like you’re boiling,” Zen tried to persuade you.
-Your sudden, “NO!” is all it takes for him to confirm the worry he’s had for a while
-“MC, please will you show me your arms,” he asked seriously as he reached across the table to you and held your wrists.
-You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head
-Not today. You can’t let him see. He’ll think you’re a failure
-“MC,” he said so sternly that you jump in shock
-As you jump, his hands accidentally slide up your arms and scrape a recent cut
-You yelp in surprise
-And he doesn’t allow you to pull your sleeve back down
-When you face him, you’re expecting some sort of emotion but you didn’t know what
-What you certainly didn’t expect was tears
-“How long?” he asked quietly, maintaining eye contact and making you want to shrivel up in yourself
-“A while. Since before I knew you,” you responded, making him know that he had nothing to do with the mental illness you’d be struggling with for ages.
-“Does anyone know?” Zen asked.
-You shook your head.
-“MC, I want you to look into my eyes and tell me that you want to hurt me in the same way you hurt yourself,” he said sternly.
-“But I can’t- I don’t- I love you!” you argued, wondering how he could suggest such a thing.
-“The fact that I now know you did this gives me exactly that pain. Imagine how I feel to know that you would suffer through this alone, without telling anyone, hurting yourself in such a way,” Zen sighed, holding your hands tightly.
-You don’t know what to say. You’re not good enough. Surely he knows this
-“Please- we already lost Rika- we can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. Not after everything we’ve been through,” Zen cried, now fully letting tears stream down his face.
-“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I’m disappointing you.”
-“No!” Zen immediately interrupts, “I’m just worried about you because I want you to be well. Please let me take you to see someone. They can help you.”
-You didn’t want to see anyone- that’s why you hadn’t
-But if Zen was hurting, you’d at least give it a go
-“Ok,” you agreed as Zen pulled you into his chest.
-At least you had something to live for- your wonderful boyfriend
Did anyone notice the quote I kind of took from Phil? It’s so beautiful
Mama Baehee sees and knows all
-She realised practically immediately
-Because she literally forced you to take your jacket off when you came to her house
-You were really worried how she’d react and if she’d realise you weren’t the support she needed and ditch you
-Instead, she ordered you to sit and talk
-“You can say what you like to try and get out of it, MC, but you aren’t leaving until I have the truth,” she insisted.
-So you cried and told Jaehee everything
-“What I think you need is someone there to promise you that they’ll always be with you and help you to believe in yourself,” Jaehee seemed to analyse.
-But then she shuffled closer to you and hugged you
-“MC, will you let me be that friend? Can I help you?” she asked, to your surprise.
-You were already crying too much so you just nodded
-So Jaehee smiled and started to cry too
-She looked so cute crying but you didn’t deserve her
-In fact, you wondered how many times you’d drawn a line of your own blood because you were ashamed of your sexuality
-But with Jaehee hugging you so tightly and promising to be there for you, you allowed yourself to imagine what a world with good things in for you could be like
-What if Jaehee did like you back?
Oh if only you knew
-If only you knew how much it broke her heart to see that you’d caused yourself pain
-Jaehee wondered if it was her fault for not being a good enough friend
It’s not, Baehee, you’re perfect and we love you
-It was whilst you were still ‘trapped’ in his penthouse that he found out
-He thought you were about to leave
-So he grabbed your arm to stop you escaping
You know the Visual Novel I’m on about, right?
-And you accidentally let out a yelp of pain
-He let go go your arm and saw blood seeping through the fabric
-Forget whatever he was about to tell you- you were injured
-“MC, what happened? I didn’t- I didn’t hurt you did I?” Jumin panicked.
-“No- it’s not you. I’m fine,” you lied.
-He wasn’t about to let you pretend you weren’t hurt
-So he rolled your sleeves up
-And saw the lines on your arms
-And broke down
-“MC- I- Why- Why would you do this to yourself?” he asked, practically in tears.
-You just hung your head, not answering
-“It’s not me, is it?” Jumin asked with his eyes wide, “Am I trapping you? Is that why? Please- I’ll let you go immediately.”
-At this point you’re pretty sure he’d leaked a few tears
-“No,” you said calmly, “It was way before I met you that I started.”
-“How could someone as kind and beautiful and perfect as you do something like that to your body?” he asked.
-“I’m not perfect or beautiful in any way. I’m messed up. Really messed up. I just wanted to try and help you,” you explained.
-“And you are doing. So now I need to help you,” Jumin said sternly.
-You looked up at him
-And started crying
-So he cried too
-Jumin decided to envelope you in a hug
-So you just cried into his chest, feeling safe
-Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay at his penthouse forever
-When Elizabeth was around, Jumin promised himself that he’d force you to see the best counsellor in the world
-He found out just after you’d started living in his house
-He’d told you he had something to fix on his computer but you were having a really bad day
-So to you, that just seemed like an excuse to not spend time with you
He loves you though, please never think that! People love you and sometimes they actually just have to do stuff
-For once, he didn’t put his headphones on
-So he heard crying and decided to come and check it out
-Only to find you with blood coating your arm in a pile of tears
-And just runs towards you and hugs you close to his chest, not caring if he’s getting blood all over him
-You cry into his shoulder for a while whilst he just rocks and shushes you
-He knows the feeling
-Whilst he never self harmed, he was very depressed for so long
-And he knew what it was like to feel like you shouldn’t even exist anymore
-But without you
-He couldn’t exist
-Deciding it was best to tell you this, he starts to
-“MC, I love you. I couldn’t live without you. You mean so much to me. You helped me with my depression and now I want to help you. Please, let me save you like you saved me,” he begged.
-He’s going to do absolutely anything he can to help you
-I feel like he’d know the signs
-Because I’m pretty sure he’d self harmed too
-So he just asks you
-“MC, do you self harm?”
-“What makes you think that?” you answered sceptically.
-“Because I did for a while. You were what made me stop. Please don’t lie to me and show me your arms,” Saeran ordered with clear concern in his eyes.
-You show him your arms- it’s pointless hiding it
-“You’re going to come and see my counsellor with me,” Saeran said immediately.
-“No, Saeran! I don’t want to see a counsellor,” you begged.
-He grabbed you by the shoulder and leant down to look you directly in the eyes
-“I don’t care if you want to go or not. I’m not going to allow the person that saved and healed me to suffer herself. I love you too much to lose you. My life is nothing without you,” he told you.
-You hug him really tight
-And just wonder how you’re both messes
-Saeran was not going to allow you to help him as much as you had without him helping you in return
-He loved you too much to lose you
-You were constantly thinking that you were nothing compared to Rika
-Sure, she’d been crazy, but V had loved her
-Probably more than he loved you
-V found out you self harmed when he accidentally walked into the bathroom whilst you’d just finished showering
-You had a towel wrapped around you but your arms were exposed
-“I’m sorry- wait, MC, your arms!” V started to apologise before seeing the lines and blood on your forearms.
-You hung your head
-He was going to tell you that you were nothing compared to Rika- that you were weak- that you were weird for harming yourself
-But he didn’t
-Instead, he runs towards you, gently takes your arm and kisses all your scars
-“I made a mistake last time- I didn’t help her. I’m not going to make that mistake again because I love you so much that I will force you to see a therapist,” V told you.
-“But I don’t want to-“ you started to protest
-“I know. Last time I made the mistake of thinking love would be enough. I’m not blind anymore and I can see that despite me loving you, you need proper help. I don’t want to lose you. You mean far more to me, MC,” V said.
I’m sorry for the blind joke, really I am
-It suddenly registered in your mind what he was saying
-V loved you
-He loved you more than he’d loved Rika
-And he wanted to help you
-Finally- someone did
-And you loved him