i'm sorry i'm still learning

Did some fun drawings of YoukaiYume’s fanbabies - Ayato (Kouga’s son in the future) and Kasumi (Kagome and Sesshoumaru’s daughter). I feel bad neglecting the other kids, oh well guess that means I’ll have to do more fanart, gosh dang!

Elim Garak and abuse

One day I intend to look deeper into why I find Garak’s story one of the most compelling stories of abuse I saw on television – even if it was portayed in the background of the whole DS9 arc story, it is so well done.

Enabran Tain raised him to be the cardassian rolemodel of an intelligence chief-operator and spy, with all the characteristics we all know: the absurd devotion to the state and its institutions, the military training, the enourmous faith in the family unity and the stablishment. So, in other words, he needed to be left lacking in visibility, true emotional stability, emotional expressions, the care and acknowledgment of his loved ones, etc in order for the specific instructions given to him (very indirectly…) to be functional for his tasks.

In that sense, he was a victim. A victim among many others of that culture’s system, of the family objectives and ideals, of his father nurture. In the books we can notice that it was mainly because of his foster father (I forgot Mila’s husband name) that Elim got a little bit of true love, attention and care. Due to it and the fact that for him to be the excellent member Tain wanted him to be, Garak needed to transcend what a cardassian would look like on the inside and on the outside too. To be that spectacular spy, he shoud have much taste and ability for literacy, so he could comprehend the subtletlies of life. Elim also needed to know how to be ambiguous, to be curious for another’s customs and viewpoints. In this sense, he is at the same time the exponent of the cardassian ideal and the least “cardassian” cardassian on the show.

That’s why he’s as much victim as an executioner, dependending on the situation and the people that interacted with him in question. Specially when we think of people that were raised by abusive parents, this is such an important representation of how many toxic shit we have to identify and to dispose of so we don’t repeat unconsciously our parent’s patterns of existing in this world.

Unbreak My Heart


@hardcorewwetrash

“I’ve fallen in love with you” She says through sobs. He looks over at her from his spot on the end of the bed, and just shakes his head.

“You can’t love me. We’ve been over this. I’m not the relationship type. We agreed this was nothing more than sex when this whole thing started between us” He simply replied, noticing more tears falling down her cheeks.

Wiping the tears off her cheeks with the sleeves of the sweatshirt she was wearing which happened to be his, she picked her head up, before her feet hit the ground. “Then we’re done here. Whatever this was is now over”

“You don’t mean that” His face suddenly fell, his whole body turning towards where she stood.

“I do mean it. We both knew something like this was going to happen, so I’m ending this now. When we’re at work, we act professional, other than that we have nothing to do with each other” She replied sniffling.

He shook his head. “Don’t do this”

“I didn’t do anything. I wanted to mean more to you then just a fuck buddy, but it’s clear that all you want is to run around and fuck everything that walks like a little boy. Grow up. I’m done with this, and I’m done with you” She added in, grabbing her bags, and taking a last look at the guy she’s fallen for, leaving him and her feelings for him behind.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
That was a year ago, and Braylin Crawford could not be happier, with where she was in her life. She had asked for a leave of abscense for that time, just so she could get her head right. She had been at the performance center, working with the trainers, hoping to get back into ringshape. Working with the girls down at NXT Braylin not only got herself back to where she was, she also helped the other girls, moving them along in their training, with her being in the business for a little over 5 years.  Each day she had gotten back to her old self, leaving that depressed girl she had become in the past. The doctors had kept a close eye on her, making sure not only was she working on her ring technique, but most importantly, making sure she’s healthy.

A full year. That’s how long it took her to get back to the ring. It was currently Wrestlemania weekend, and she was set to return to the ring the Monday after Mania. No one knew she was making her return, and she decided to keep it a secret. Stepping out of the taxi, she paid fare, sent the taxi driver a quick smile, before shutting the door. With her suitcase handle in one hand, and her bag in the other, she made her quick entrance in to the building, where NXT Takeover Orlando, was being held that night. With a flash of her employee badge to the guard who stood by the door at the back of the arena, and the clacking of her heels on the floor beneath her, she was in.  Looking around she saw people running around, trying their best to  make sure everything was perfect for the show that night. Superstars and divas ran around the backstage area, putting the finishing touches on their ring gear, and going over last minute strategies before their matches. Pulling her suitcase along with her as she walked, making sure she didn’t get in to anyone’s way as she walked through the backstage area. Heading towards the lockerooms, she quickly waved hi to everyone working, before finding Triple H’s office. Knocking softly, she heard a very faint ‘Come In’, as she opened the door. Triple H was sitting at his desk, phone in hand, and he was writing something down on the pad in front of him. Braylin patiently waited, not wanting to inturrupt his phonecall. Leaning against the doorframe, Braylin looked around the office, her eyes stopping on a poster of him. The guy that broke her heart a year ago. It felt like he was smiling through her, so she decided to concentrate on something else.

Triple H hung up the phone and turned to the brunette standing in the doorway.
“Braylin what do I owe the pleasure of you visiting?” Triple H asked.

“Well, I’m sure you talked to the trainers, and also the doctors, and I was just wondering if it’s okay for me to return to the ring” Braylin simply replied, making her way into the office.

Hunter got up off his chair, and walked to where she stood. “I not only talked to the trainers, but the doctors as well, and I’m pretty sure, you’re cleared to return to the ring this Monday night on Raw” Hunter added in, with a smirk.
Braylin squealed, as she ran over to where Hunter was, and hugged him lightly. “Thank you so much Hunter. I really appreciate it”

“No need to thank me. I’m excited to see what you’ve been up to since last year. I’ll be in contact with you, when I get more details" Hunter simply said, as he put out his hand.

Braylin nodded, before shaking Hunter’s outstretched hand, and with another smile, she walked out of his office. Pulling her suitcase behind her, she walked the rest of the way down the hallway towards catering, where she saw some familiar faces. Liv Morgan sat in the table with Aliyah, and Ember Moon, caught up in their own conversation. Setting her suitcase against the wall Braylin walked towards the girls table, and cleared her throat.

“Hey girls. Room for one more?”

“Braylin!” Liv yelled jumping out of her seat and hugging the blonde with everything she had in her.

“Liv can’t breathe” Braylin replied with a giggle, as her friend let her go.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Liv quickly said pulling back from Braylin, as she was pulled into another hug with both Ember and Aliyah.

“What are you doing here?” Aliyah asked excitedly as the girls all sat back down at their table.

“Do you really think I was missing Takeover? I haven’t missed one in 3 years, and I’m not going to start now. I’m excited to watch ms. Ember kick some serious ass tonight” Braylin grinned, fist bumping Ember.

All 4 girls sat and chit chatted about what was going in their lives, catching up with each other. Braylin knew the subject of him who should not be named would be brought up, and Braylin secretly prayed the subject didn’t come up within the conversation.

“BC” Braylin heard from behind her.

Turning her head, she saw Johnny Gargano standing there with a grin on his face. “JGar” She replied standing up, before hugging him.

“What’s up Blondie?” Johnny asked, hugging her back.

“Came back to visit. Needed to come see if you can still wrestle” Braylin giggled.

“Ha Ha” Johnny rolled his eyes. “Catch up later?”

“Of course. Tell Candice I said hi, and that I miss her”

“Will do” Johhny quickly said, before leaving with his tag team partner. Braylin sat back down at the table, as her head looked towards the doorway, and a familiar face walked in. Braylin’s face fell, and she prayed he didn’t see her.  

Finn Balor walked in to the catering area with Shinskue Nakamura at his side. The 2 were enveloped in their conversation, when Finn locked eyed with Braylin. It had been a year since he’s seen her, and to say he missed her was an understatement. Finn turned to his friend, and said he’ll be right back, as he made his way over to where Braylin sat.

“Bray” Finn said softly.

“Hi Finn” Braylin replied with the same tone in her voice.

“You look good. It’s been awhile”

“Yeah it has. I should really get going. I have to get situated into my hotel. It was nice seeing you. I’ll see you girls later” Braylin told her friends, and then giving Finn an uneasy smile.

Walking slowly out of the catering room, Braylin grabbed her suitcase, and wheeled it behind her, dragging it down the hallway, away from everyone. Leaning against the wall, tears started to well up in her eyes, as her mind went wandering back to the memory of the days of her leaving Finn behind, and how it affected her.

The first couple of months she had a hard time at work. Her matches haven’t gone as well as she wanted them to. She would hibernate in her hotel room, not wanting to be around people. Her friends, and everyone in the company was worried about her. She was usually the happy go lucky girl that everyone loved, but people could see something was seriously wrong with her. She stopped eating, and spent as much time in the gym as she could, that sometimes she would make herself sick. The lack of sleep was getting to her, and her body was shutting down. Health officials took notice, before taking action when she passed out in the middle of a match with Bayley. Everyone in the arena, everyone backstage, and even the audience was stunned at the scene in front of them. As Braylin was being taking out on a stretcher, her best friend Sasha Banks, rushed to get into the ambulance with her. Braylin layed still, hooked up to wires, as her eyes were still tightly shut. Her mouth was slightly open, and her breathing was very ragged, but her chest was still steadily moving up and down.  After being taken to the hospital, she was given fluids, to keep her hydrated, and even though Braylin told Sasha to leave, and that she would be fine, Sasha objected, saying she would only leave if Braylin ate something. Braylin quickly agreed and ate soup and crackers to make Sasha happy.

Staying in the hospital for 5 days, Braylin was discharged when she was finally healthy enough to stand on her own.  The first couple days spent at home, was her mostly taking it easy, and sleeping alot to get her sleep schedule back on track. Sasha checked in on her reguarly, through facetime, text messages, and phonecalls. Eventually her eating habits came back, and she was moving forward, making her back to feeling like her old self. Finn had left several voicemails, along with tons of text messages, when she finally blocked his number, and all of his social media, so he had no way in contacting her, and that was that, because she hasn’t heard from him, and she kinda liked it that way.

Braylin didn’t think seeing Finn again would make her so upset, but here she was crying all alone in an empty hallway. The man she loved, and still did to this day walked over to her like nothing happened between them, and she was not sure she liked that. All Braylin knew was that on Monday, they would be co-workers once again.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: HEY EVERYONE! MY NAME’S ASHLEY AND I’M A NEW WRITER! THIS IS MY FIRST SHORT STORY/CHAPTER STORY THAT I’M POSTING, AND I’M TRYING MY HARDEST TO GET BETTER AT MY WRITING! SPECIAL THANK YOU TO LAURA @hardcorewwetrash, FOR READING MY FIRST STORY, AND GIVING ME HER HONEST OPINION!

P.S. I DON’T OWN FINN BALOR OR ANYONE FROM THE WWE. I ONLY OWN MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER, AND EVERYONE YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE.

anonymous asked:

do you have tips on picking colours for your works? and tips in colouring in general? i loveeyou and your workss!! ♥

i really wish i could give accurate tips and advice but i have no idea what i’m doing 90% of the time when it comes to coloring,,,, i just go with whatever looks good and accurate to me;;;  but i do use this website sometimes to make color palettes and such

How The Chocobro’s S/O wakes them up! 

Noctis: 

  • Gently moving their finger over his lip, feeling the sensation of his slightly chapped lips. Kisses Noctis on the forehead usually drags him out of his sleepy state before he wraps his arms around his S/O once more and falls back asleep. 

Prompto: 

  • S/O peppers this sweetheart with kisses. Earning a smile and several small giggles before resting their foreheads against one another. A smile on Prompto’s face, his eyes shining with an almost childlike joy. The peaceful moment continued even after Prompto started tickling his S/O. Nothing was better to wake up to than Prompto smiling and happy. 

Gladiolus:  

  • Kisses and a hand running through his hair is often how Gladiolus is woken up. Sometimes the wake up could get hot and heavy quick, but it was mornings like this that the two of you enjoyed greatly. The sound of your heartbeat and his arms wrapped around your waste. Peppering your neck while a rough good morning could be heard from where Gladiolus face was hidden away. 

Ignis: 

  • Listens to the sound of his heart beating, breathing in synch with the rise and fall of his chest. Places feather-light kisses on his eyelids earning a sleepy good morning before kissing him right smack dab on the lips. This, in turn, makes Ignis smile before returning your kiss with one of his own. 

I can’t stop thinking about ‘it’s quite surreal’, and 'amazing, yeah. This is incredible, isn’t it?’ Because that’s how Sam and Anthony were last year. And they lost it so fast because people are awful.

With Theo and Samuel we have two young men, at the start of their career, and I just think that as a fandom we should be respectful of them and not invasive or over-excitable or rude or any of the other countless things we could do to them.

They’re human beings, doing a job that should probably be the most amazing, fun job in the world. And it looks like they’re going to be spectacular at it. But can we remember that they are just that? Human beings doing a job. They’re not toys. They’re not play things. They’re not characters. They’re not for us to speculate over or ship. They’re people with lives and families and friendships.

So can we please be kind to them and show them we care about them and value them, and not drive them away and make them jaded? Let them have this amazing experience without us ruining it for them.

They’re so young. And they deserve to enjoy themselves and keep the wonder we saw in the video today. Is that so much to ask? Can people please be nice?

I didn’t see this process play out from the beginning last time, but I know it’s coming this time and it’s horrible. It’s beginning already, and I hate everything about it.