i'm sorry i'm pretty sure this joke has been made before

ᴀ ᴅᴇᴍʏx/ᴢᴇxɪᴏɴ ғɪᴄ ʀᴇᴄ

Because obviously all the best ideas come before 8am, I decided to be brave and open fanfiction.net again to look for all my old favourite fics. I have no idea if these are as good as I remember or if memories simply grow sweeter with time.

The bolded ones are my absolute favourites. Also, if you have triggers I suggest you read with caution; it’s been years and honestly I can’t remember. Some of them include stuff like noncon/dubcon, gore, character death, mentions self-harm and suicide, abuse and violence. Hello I am trash.

Anyway, fics:

The Violet Room
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 13/?
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: drama, romance

While working a psychology internship, Myde is given the challenge of analyzing Ienzo, a mysterious patient who spends his days writing on the walls of his hospital room. But when the story of ‘Zexion’ and 'Demyx’ starts to sound familiar…

Lost and Found
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 9/9
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance

I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Demyx. I’m a joke, a fraud, a phony. I don’t know how it all happened; I hadn’t meant for it to. I found a notebook on the bus, I read it, I became hopelessly obsessed. It wasn’t something I’d meant to go so far.

Silence is Golden
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 9/9
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance

When Demyx goes to college, he wants to learn and get his degree. He doesn’t want to have a roommate who refuses to speak, a drifter who decides to live in his room, or fall in love. Too bad what Demyx wants is not what Demyx gets.

Tainted But Beautiful
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 32/32
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: supernatural, romance

Axel is a powerful vampire slayer who’s captured Zexion, a vampire, as his pet. What Axel doesn’t bargain on is Demyx, his former student, developing a strong attraction to Zexion…

*I’m pretty sure this one has almost every trigger warning mentioned above.

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 1/1
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: humor, romance

After a slightly traumatising encounter, Demyx fears his gaydar to be broken. So he comes up with a new way of identifying gay people. By selling perfume.

The Laws of Motion
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 3/3
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: humor, romance

Demyx is all about graduating without ever stepping foot inside the band room, but that’s out the window faster than you can say “HUT” when he sees that gray-haired drummer. It may be social suicide, but it’s also the boy of his dreams.

Razorblade Shine
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 18/18
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance, hurt/comfort

After Zexion’s brother dies, Demyx is what little consolation he has left.

*self-harm tw

Dear Diary
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 1/1
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: friendship, romance

I started my blog in sophomore year of high school. During the three years that I actively wrote, only one person ever commented on my posts. I fell in love with this formless, anonymous individual. I'm such a fool.

Keys and Kissing
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 22/22
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: mystery, romance

Demyx is your average rookie detective, hoping to make a difference, but what happens when a new murderer emerges and Twilight Town’s only hope lies within the hands of a convicted killer? 

You’re My Guitar Hero, Sort Of
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 8/8
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance, hurt/comfort

Demyx is the resident bully and Zexion is your typical teenager being bullied…sorta. When Zexion is given a chance to escape it all, does he take it?

D says Z says
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 7/7
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: friendship, romance

They met in the most unlikely of places. YouTube. A comment left, a friendship started…But will they ever meet?

Trains and Sewing Machines
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 21/21
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance, tragedy

Somewhere in the distance, a train blew its whistle. He made the puppets dance. When you’re dying, hope is all that’s left.

Pants 'R’ Us
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 1/1
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: humor, romance

Demyx, an up-and-coming rock star, has tons of adoring fans. But he doesn’t seem to care about his personal safety, so his best friends Axel and Roxas decide to put a stop to Demyx’s carefree attitude towards his fans. By hiring a…stalker?

It Started With A Deceased Fish
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 1/1
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance

Zexion is bored at work one day when his most regular customer comes in looking for a coffin…for a fish! Will he be able to comfort Demyx after the loss?

Journey To Water’s Edge
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 2/2
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: drama, fantasy

Prince Zexion must travel to a lost water temple in order to end the worse drought the kingdom has ever seen. Along the way, he learns a lot about the minstrel who is his guide, but more about himself.

Well, You Know
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 1/1
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance

In which Zexion represses a lot and Demyx is vaguely suggestive. And then there is much in the way of cliched stupidity.

One Day More
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 5/5
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: T
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: drama, romance

In a school where secretaries are whores, principals try to molest students, excited blonds are incapable of coming out of the closet, and the counselor is kissing the choir teacher… who knew the fall musical would be a success?

*that summary… leaves a lot to be desired. idk like i said i haven’t read these in years.

Wonderwall / the rewritten version
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs: 18/18 / 13/13
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ: M
ɢᴇɴʀᴇs: romance, adventure / romance, drama

The Org has taken over the Islands and the only way for Axel, Roxas, Sora and Riku to take them down is by making Demyx befriend #6. Demyx isn’t too jolly about being the key…

Darkness is only the absence of light. For Zexion, Number Six in the Organization, there is no light until he meets the eccentric music store owner, Demyx. But is Demyx the key to unraveling the Organization’s control over the Islands? And can the agents of the Lustitia keep him safe long enough for him to save Zexion?

*heavy breathing because i had no idea there was a new version bYE

anonymous asked:

I'm an INFP (pretty sure) in college that has trouble meeting new people and making friends. Sorry, I know it's pretty common, especially amongst INFPs, but advice, please, for my type specifically? I dislike what most people talk about and often, people in general, but I'm still human thus need human interaction. I love in depth conversations on certain topics though I can never get past that point of small talk and barely even make them with strangers to turn it into a "friendship". Help. :(

I don’t think it’d be that useful to advice for your type specifically, since the advice I’m about to give you can be used by anyone. First of all, if you haven’t seen this yet, check out my post on How to Meet New People.

How to Make Any Conversation Interesting

1. Ask questions, especially the “why”

Ask people to explain things. Probe them for insights and reasons behind what they do and things they like. You said you like that movie, why? You said you’re a teacher, what got you into that?

I went to a bar last night and had an incredible conversation with a stranger, although, it could have totally gone the other way. Consider these two scenarios:

SCENARIO 1
Me: Hi.
Guy: Hi.
Me: What’s your name?
Guy:
 I’m Mike, and you?
Me:
 I’m Taime. Nice to meet you.
-silence-
Me:
 So what do you do?
Guy:
 I work in human trafficking.
Me: Like an NGO?
Guy:
 Yes.
Me:
 Cool.
-silence-
Me: How’s your drink?
Guy: It’s good.
Me:
That’s good…

I can’t anymore. This makes me cringe even typing it. This is what actually happened:

SCENARIO 2
Me:
 Hey, I’m Taime. What’s your name? *offers handshake*
Guy:
*shakes hand* I’m Mike.
Me:
 So what do you do?
Guy:
 I work in human trafficking.
Me:
 Wait, are you a mafia trafficking people? You totally have that look.
Guy:
 *laughs* No, it’s the opposite.
Me:
 You’re the one getting trafficked?!
Guy:
 *laughs* I work in an NGO.
Me:
 Cool. So has there been any real progress towards solving human trafficking?
Guy:
 Umm…It’s actually very difficult. And the kind of help people actually need is different from what you would expect.
Me:
 For example?
Guy:
 A lot of these people didn’t want us to remove them from the situation. They don’t want to go back to their country, they like the money they get because even if it’s extremely underpaid, it’s still better than where they were from.
Me:
 Hmm. So how has your organization been helping?
Guy: 
We set up camps along the route where people usually get trafficked into the country and give them medical assistance and in the case that they have been abused. And we also go in and rescue some from extreme situations where they could get killed.
Me:
 Killed!?
Guy:
 Yes. These gangs usually used them as illegal labor for a while, then get them on a fishing boat, and kill them in the ocean.
Me:
 Wow…I never knew that before. Why would they kill them?
Guy:
 So that they wouldn’t have to pay.
Me: 
Wow. What about prevention, though? Have you done anything about it? Teaching people, maybe?
Guy: 
Yes, we actually went into susceptible communities and educate people about human trafficking process, and how to recognize when they’re getting tricked. But the thing is, a lot of these people are fully aware of what they were getting into, but they go along with these gangs anyway because they needed money.
Me:
 That makes it very difficult then. I suppose you can’t really do much unless wealth discrepancy is eliminated.
Guy:
 Yes. But you still have to help them anyway. Even if you don’t have the vaccine, you still need to treat the symptoms because otherwise you die.

Ok, I’ll stop. I had too much fun typing out that convo because it was so intriguing. But you already get the point. (and I love that last line of his).

2. Steer conversations your way

When you talk to someone new, there’s bound to be some small talks, uncomfortable silence, and conversations about things you’re not into. However, it’s your responsibility to make the conversation interesting. Make a comment on what they say and ask questions to steer it your way.

I find it very interesting to pry into people’s minds and see how they work. There are questions that let me do that very quickly. They are questions that encourage someone to express what they value, usually along the line of “why,” “favorites,” and “motivation.”

Here are some of my go-to questions I’d ask when a conversation gets dry:

  • “What do you do?” Followed by, “what do you like the most about your job and why is that?” or “what got you into that?”
  • “If you could do anything without having to worry about money, what would you do?“ and “why?” (of course)
  • “What’s your most favorite place in the world that you’ve been to so far?” (I’m gonna stop adding the “why” but it’s in all of them).
  • “If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you be?”
  • “If you could have a super power, what would it be?”

3. Make jokes

As you can see from my scenario 2 conversation above, I made a joke about the guy being a mafia and getting trafficked. Making jokes lighten up the mood, show that you’re personable, and get people to open up more.

Make jokes that are witty or funny comments relating to what the other person is talking about. Do not pause a conversation to say “what do you call an alligator wearing a vest?”

4. Tell stories

Stories are how we relate to other people. Tell a story of what happened to you or people you know, and people will reciprocate with their own stories, giving you insights into their character. Again, the stories should be related to what you’ve been talking about.

Bonus: Here’s a great video by one of my respected mentors: How To Make Friends As An Adult

For more life hacks, check out the “ADVICE” section on the index.

-eilamona
[ MBTI Merch | Support eilamona on patreon ]

Jodice One-Shot: Kiss The Girl.

Jodice one-shot, set somewhen in S2 of The Originals/S6 of The Vampire Diaries and refusing to acknowledge the fact that both Joseph and Candice are currently married to other people.

If fanfictions starring real life ships bother you, please ignore this.

——

“We come bearing gifts!” Candice announces in her usual cheerful and singsong-y voice.

Paul and Michael are trailing right behind her, talking to each other, as she excitedly enters the Originals’ set.

The three of them have been shooting together all day—the only ones on set except, of course, for Caroline Dries, their director with a few cameramen, and the rest of their shooting crew—so, when break time finally rolled around, they decided to pay their friendly neighbors a visit.

They find Joseph, Charles and Leah lounging on some leather couches, smiles lighting up their tired faces as soon as they notice all the junk food that Candice is somehow juggling all alone in her arms.

Keep reading

renmons  asked:

I'm completely new to seventeen, and you were the first blog I followed (bcs I'm trash for Kpop snaps) and I was wondering what you could tell me about seventeen?

oF COURSE I CAN {here and here are two other times I’ve described these 13 dweebs if you’re up for reading that too (: }

-

About the group in general: Seventeen is made up of 13 lovable closer-than-fam dorks that are still considered really “young” in the kpop world. Their ages range from 20-16 (international age). Seventeen’s actually been around since…2013? maybe a bit before that and they just made their debut last June with ‘Adore You’ - which was composed by Woozi and choreographed by Hoshi. Like ‘Adore You’, Woozi and Hoshi composed and choreographed ‘Mansae’ this time around. Seventeen’s a self-making idols so they basically do everything by themselves, there’s a lot of memes in the fandom that says they basically built the Pledis building by themselves and lol I just find that funny.

Hip Hop Unit: So this unit has 4 idiots

  • S.Coups (Choi Seungcheol)
  • Wonwoo (Jeon Wonwoo)
  • Mingyu (Kim Mingyu)
  • Vernon (Hansol Vernon Chwe/Choi)

S.Coups is the leader of the Hip Hop Unit and the group in general. He’s the eldest at 20, born in 1995, yeah yeah. He’s likes to mess around with the boys - especially Seungkwan - but he’d probably give his life for them. Hell, he refers to the boys as his kids, hence, we call him Papa Coups sometimes. Oh, the boys also refer to him as ‘Coups’ and ‘Coups hyung’ just cuz S.Coups is too long to say. Wonwoo is one of the 4 kids born in 1996, they call him 17 since birth since his birthday is July 17. He has that deep ass voice that’s fucking hot when he raps sorry that was really biased and he seems unapproachable and emo, but he’s actually one of the more cuddly members. The things that always go with Wonwoo are sweaterpaws, snapbacks, and meanie - which is his ship with Mingyu. Mingyu’s that really tall kid you know. The one that you can never see over if you walk or sit behind him bC HE’S SO FUCKING TALL. His hair this comeback is hot and silver and I’m pretty sure that he’s the latest wreck stage - along with Hoshi - in this era. Mingyu’s a complete shit since 1997, let me tell you that. You know that one member who - older or younger - always messes with the others and just gets abused by them in their own “loving” way? yeah that’s Mingyu. He’s paired with Wonwoo, they’re known as meanie (explanation here). Vernon is our kidney function scientist (inside joke with the fandom, predebut he has a video saying how kidney function isn’t a right, it’s a privilege). He looks so charismatic and like so badass right? wrong! he’s literally so shy and precious and please more people need to protect Vernon. He’s really discriminated a lot bc he’s half-Korean half-White and that makes me sad :((, he also has a little sister (Sofia) that he loves soooo much and it’s so cute ugh kill me.

The Hip Hop Unit make their own rap lyrics for Seventeen, they also release mixtapes on Seventeen’s soundcloud - which…for some reason was taken down aND THAT MAKES ME UPSET TOO WHAT THE FUCK - with other members like Dino and Woozi.

Performance Unit: So this unit also has 4 idiots lmaoo

  • Hoshi (Kwon Soonyoung)
  • Jun (Wen Junhui)
  • The8 (Seo Myungho/Xu Minghao)
  • Dino (Lee Chan)

Hoshi is our ball of sunshine #1 (there’s 3…? of them). Hoshi’s the leader of the Performance Unit and is the main choreographer of the group. He’s one of the other kids born in 1996. Hoshi’s been choreographing Seventeen’s dances since predebut bUT JOKE’S ON YOU HE USED TO BE IN THE VOCAL UNIT HAHA. Seriously, his voice is aasdfghjkl. Hoshi’s smile is so precious (he’s tied for my third bias w/ Coups) HoSHI IS JUST PRECIOUS IN GENERAL. He’s probably wrecked everyone in the fandom during this era bc Hoshi’s hair + his facial expressions + Rock + little body rolls + suits = too much for all our souls. Jun is our little MC. He’s one of the members who you don’t expect to be cuddly bUT hE IS SO CUDDLY AND AFFECTIONATE AND ALSO HOT LIKE PLEASE GIVE HIM ATTENTION. Lowkey really confident and sexy since 1996. He’s ½ of our Chinese members and his Korean is really good like TBH I COULDN’T EVEN TELL THAT HE WAS CHINESE BC OF HOW GOOD HE SPOKE KOREAN. Our 2/2 of Chinese members is The8! The8′s our manly cutie. If you ever question how a guy can be manly and cute at the same time, The8′s the answer. His Korean accent is honestly so cute like how can people hate on him for that what the hell. Whenever The8 speaks, my face just like shines and aWWW PLEASE MY CHILD. and then you find out that The8 is lowkey savage. Basically born to put the middle finger up since 1997. He’s Seventeen’s flying b-boy. :) so proud, my child. okay. Lastly, we have our little maknae. Dino’s our 16 year old maknae! Also known as Michael Chanson since of course, he’s a certified Michael Jackson fanboy. He’s mostly treasured by his hyungs, but of course he also gets lovingly bullied just cuz. Fun fact: Dino was supposed to be in the Hip Hop Unit, but yano, dino + dance is a must. Dino’s so cute, but he can also be really hot, like how? like what? like yo dude.

The Performance Unit choreographs Seventeen’s songs, special performances, and past covers since predebut with adding a little bit of the Seventeen color. Anything Michael Jackson related is all Dino btw!

Vocal Unit: So this unit has 4-jk it has 5 idiots!

  • Woozi (Lee Jihoon)
  • Joshua (Joshua Hong/Hong Jisoo)
  • Jeonghan (Yoon Jeonghan)
  • DK/Dokyum (Lee Seokmin)
  • Seungkwan (Boo Seungkwan)

Woozi is the last of the 1996 boys. He’s the leader of the Vocal Unit and the producer of most of Seventeen’s songs, not all, but most. Woozi’s the guy who always gets piggybacks from Mingyu, probably bc he’s the smallest, but yANO He’S SO CUTE ASDFGHJKL. my seventeen bias. The one with the cute pink hair, now the one with the watermelon/strawberry shaved ice hair yano. The genius producer. Warning: never approach when grouchy. That’s a death wish. Joshua is Seventeen’s gentleman. This boy was raised so right like can all of us find a Joshua in the world? Seriously, so mannerful, sweet, cute, can play guitar, he can sing, respectful, probably really romantic, he’s religious so you know he has his morals straight, really thank mama Hong for giving birth to Joshua in 1995. He also used to be a past b-boy and is a sex freak hahahahahahaha. Jeonghan. ah, Seventeen’s angel. He’s so beautiful. How can a boy be that beautiful? I’m serious. The guy with the amazing long hair that thousands of girls probably wish was their own hair me. He’s often paired with Coups so…mama Jeonghan?? Besides, he’s the only one I’ve heard of saying ‘Coups’ instead of ‘Coups hyung’. Jeonghan’s pretty shady and talkative. He’s pretty hilarious on Andromeda omg. I love Jeonghan’s long hair but I really wanna see him with short hair again. DK is our 2nd ball of sunshine! DK is a ray of happiness that shines upon us all like how can someone hate his child, please. He and Hoshi sort of go in a pair, dumb and dumber: SoonSeok, you get one, you get the other ya feel? His voice is gughghgugugugh and he’s pretty loud lol and have yOU HEARD HIM SING LIVE IN MANSAE? HOW OH MY GOD ESPECIALLY THE REALLY HIGH NOTE TOWARDS THE END. WOW. He says he’s most awkward with Woozi and Jihoon will probably never let him forget about it lol. Last but deFINITELY not least, our best quality: Diva Boo. Seungkwan is our 3…rd? ball of sunshine? tbh SoonSeok and Seungkwan are like the three stooges so…anyway! Seungkwan’s our sassy main vocal, probably one of the only members that will go against Woozi’s wrath, utterly afraid of S.Coups’ wrath. Seungkwan’s precious. He loves his mom over everything and it’s so sweet. So proud of his Jeju hometown. Seungkwan’s amazing, we all love Boo Seungkwan. Plus, his voice is like honey omg.

The Vocal Unit has a huge impact on Seventeen’s songs. Woozi does the composing, but he really values the imput of the Vocal Unit. Joshua’s in charge of the acoustic shit btw ugh Adore You Acoustic ver. They have great harmonies and ugh I love Vocal Unit.

And That’s Seventeen :) They’re literally so close to winning #1 on a music program and their Boys Be album is literally #1 in the iTunes Billboard Chart (or at least that’s what I saw) and let’s all keep supporting them bc they honestly really deserve this.

Ashton Imagine: Pregnancy Gender Surprise

Author: Rhine

-

You smiled as you watched Ashton try to assemble the baby crib, his curly hair flopping onto his face as he re-read the manual for the fifth time, tools and parts scattered around him. 

He looked so adorably confused, eyebrows furrowed as he sat cross-legged in the middle of the nursery, trying to decipher the manual before him.

“Do you need help, Ash?” You giggle, watching as a small frown started to form on his lips. 

He shakes his head, a few loose curls escaping from his bandana and covering his eyes. 

“Trust me, babe. I got this.”

“You said that four tries ago, Ash.”

“Fifth time’s the charm. Have a little faith.”

You give him a doubtful look, and he merely sticks his tongue out at you.

He rolls up the sleeves of his baseball shirt a little more, exposing the tanned muscle underneath. He absentmindedly picks up the screwdriver next to him, muttering underneath his breath as he makes his way back to the mess of crib parts that he had half-assembled in the past hour.

You can’t help but to stare at your husband, who was now hammering away at a wooden leg with his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration - he was beautiful and sweet and he brought a smile to your face every day without a fail.

You could only hope that your baby could have a smile as beautiful as Ashton’s.

You absentmindedly rubbed your swollen stomach, a habit you had picked up ever since you found out about your pregnancy six months ago. 

You still remembered when you saw the little symbols marking a positive; how Ashton’s smile put the sun to shame, how he picked you up and planted the sweetest kiss on your forehead, holding you close.

Thank you. 

The sincerity of his words had reverberated in your bones, and all you could do was kiss him lightly on the lips, standing at the tips of your toes just to reach him.

No, thank you. For giving me the best opportunity I could ever ask for. For your love. For your miracle.

He had held against his chest and placed gentle kisses on the top of your head, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and tracing patterns on the small of your back.

You had put your head on his heart and felt his heartbeat ring with yours - and with the heartbeat of the new life in your stomach.

You and Ashton were more than ready to be parents - you were happily married and prepared for the next step in your life together, making plans and talking about dreams and hopes and wishes over dinner and before bed and in the early mornings. 

But having it be confirmed, knowing that your dreams would be coming true in a matter of months - it made the two of you ecstatic. 

You delighted in planning schedules and researching about this and that and choosing the best path for the life in your belly. You loved shopping for clothes and equipment for the new addition in your family - you and Ashton would run down the aisle like little kids, pulling this and that off the shelves and racks and playing with toys and wondering if your baby would love it as much as the two of you did.

You set aside all the toys and clothes and equipment in your house, everything sitting patiently, waiting for the arrival of the baby. 

You loved finding out the size of the baby inside of you, and Ashton eagerly marked your growing stomach’s progress on the wall of your living room. 

Just two more months to go, babe. We’re almost there - we’re so close. 

He made sure you didn’t have to do any work - not if he could help it. Ashton fussed over you like a mother hen, giving you breakfast in bed and holding your arm whenever you walked and tying your shoelaces and holding your bags and massaging your sore feet. He’d cook dinner and do the cleaning, and even did the laundry - which he hated - while you sat and read a book or watched some television.

He made sure you were pampered and comfortable and happy, saying you were his queen and he promised to take care of you from now on until forever.

You worried for him, though - he’d collapse onto the bed at the end of every long day, worn and tired, and you’d have to remind him to take breaks during the day, telling him to rest his head on your shoulder and to just hold you and your baby for a moment before bustling away for the quick arrival.

Got to make everything perfect for my queen and princess. 

He’d wink at you, dimples flashing, before getting back to work.

Ashton was so elated when the doctor told the two of you that it was a girl - you saw the tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes when the news was announced, and the tender words that he’d whisper to your growing stomach every night made your heart melt.

Daddy loves you, princess.

He’d kiss your stomach gently, rubbing it lightly before placing a delicate kiss on your forehead, whispering goodnight.

One more month, beautiful - one more month ‘till we can start this little family of ours. 

-

Ashton was ecstatic , to say the least, during your last month of pregnancy - even more so than usual, which you didn’t think was possible.

He’d have this bounce in his step and a smile on his face and his happiness seeped out of him, uncontrollable. He went to the baby stores and insisted on getting everything ready for the arrival of the baby himself - he wouldn’t let you lift a finger, despite your protests.

You’ve got to take care of the baby - besides, this is daddy’s job.

He painted the nursery pink, getting splashes of pink paint all over his ripped tees and golden curls, coming back to you with splotches of paint on his nose. The room was haphazardly painted - you can almost pick out where Ashton tried to paint as he laughed at some stupid joke you made - but you loved it and smiled when he finished, covered in paint and standing proudly in the middle of the room, a mess all around him.

It looks perfect, Ash.

Do you think she’ll like it?

I think she’ll love it.

He built the dresser and the crib and he painstakingly assembled all the parts himself, scratching his head all afternoon and staying up late to complete it all. He arranged all the clothes neatly in their drawers and positioned all the toys around the room himself, making sure that everything was perfectly in its place.

He always took out time for a break though, cuddling with you throughout the day and occasionally playing with the toys to 'test them out’.

Psst, this is Ashtronaut. The crib has been successfully assembled, I repeat the crib has been successfully assembled. Ashtronaut, over and out.

Ash, are you playing with the walkie-talkie again?

Psst, this is Ashtronaut. This is a vital testing process, love. Ashtronaut, over and out.

You merely watched and smiled as he did it all, a warmth bubbling through your body as Ashton prepared himself to be a dad, all with a smile on his face.

He’s enjoying it, you think - sometimes you catch Ashton standing in the completed nursery by himself, looking around the room he had worked so hard on, smiling to himself, and you wonder what’s going through that mind of his.

Sometimes he’d crawl over to your spot on the couch and plop himself next to you, gently rubbing your stomach and lazily wrapping his arms around you, his breath warm on your neck. You’d ask him if he was tired and he’d merely answer with I’d never be tired of being a dad, smiling sleepily up at you before dozing off a few minutes later.

And on the nights where Ashton stayed awake, you’d curl up with him on the bed that you shared, doodling on a piece of paper while the two of you thought of names. Ever since the doctor told you that your baby was a girl three months ago, you and Ashton had been coming up with names, playing with different sounds and meanings, often before the two of you went to sleep.

You could never agree on a name, and when you’d be lucky enough to settle on one that you thought would be alright, the two of you would always change your mind a few days later.

Why don’t we just call her Princess?

As a pet name, sure - but legally, I think she might hold a few grudges against us.

Why? I mean, I’d want to be called 'princess’.

You can be a fairy princess if you want, Ash.

At the end of the day, the two of you decided that you’d pick out a name from the few selections you had after the baby was born - you agreed that you couldn’t pick a name before getting to know your little girl first.

Ashton marked the days down on your calendar, eagerly crossing off each day, getting closer and closer to the day you were expected to be due.

Princess is coming, babe - we’re going to be a family at last.

-

You remember the twisting pain in your abdomen in the middle of lunch, how Ashton yelped and hurried you to the car, driving you to the hospital like a madman.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god -

You were panicking and groaning in pain, holding your stomach and still in a state of shock even though you saw this coming nine months ago.

You just couldn’t believe it was happening.

And how much it hurt.

You’ll be fine, babe - just breathe, just breathe - in and out, just like that. Just breathe, you’re doing perfect.

The hospital trip was a blur of hysteria and trying to calm yourself and trying to bear with the pain all at once, and you were hardly aware of your surroundings until you were lying on the hospital bed surrounded by doctors and nurses.

Everyone was a frenzy of words and advice and all you could see were people with masks on their faces telling you to do this and that and nothing was sinking into your head except for the pain.

You searched for Ashton’s face among the masked faces and found his bright eyes, a few tufts of curls escaping the medical hat. You couldn’t see his lips but you could see the smile in his eyes, full of endearing support and love.

You can do it, babe. Come on, that’s my girl!

He gripped your hand and you’re pretty sure you might’ve broke his in the process, but he’s full of encouragement and having him by your side makes you feel stronger, despite the growing weariness in your body.

You cry out and you scream and you’re so tired and you feel like your body is being stretched from the inside out and you’re sore and panting and you can’t remember the last time you felt this worn out, but everyone keeps on telling you that you’re almost there and Ashton’s thumb is gently massaging your knuckles and you tell yourself to hold on for a few more minutes.

And after what feels like an eternity, you hear a cry that’s not your own and everyone’s cheering and you collapse onto the bed, exhausted.

You just manage to open your eyes enough to see a nurse in front of you hold a small bundle covered in bits of red, and you make out small hands waving in the air. You weakly reach out for it, and the nurse smiles, carrying the small bundle towards you.

Congratulations - it’s a healthy baby boy.

You barely register the words in your head, but when you hold the little bundle in your arm, you can’t help but to smile down at it - him.

My beautiful baby boy.

You’re taken aback by how small he his - he barely fits in your arms - and his eyes are wide and starting to blink, small hands reaching for you, forming tiny fists. You can see the smooth skin and the soft curves and dips of his tiny body, and a small tuft of curly hair growing from the top of his head.

It’s a boy, Ash. It’s a boy.

Ashton’s leaning down next to you, a soft smile on his lips, dimples in his cheeks. He’s sticking out his long index finger for the baby to play with, the baby’s small hands barely encircling Ashton’s large finger. Ashton gently tickles the baby’s stomach with his finger, his smile growing as he continues to watch the little bundle in your arms.

All the thoughts of a girl and a princess in pink disappears once you see Ashton and your son - you couldn’t ask for anything more, you wouldn’t want anything else - seeing your husband and your son brought a wave of warmth and content through your system despite your tiredness.

He’s perfect. Just like you.

You see Ashton’s smile grow even larger at your words as his eyes meets yours, an indefinable happiness radiating in his beam.

Our perfect family.

-

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anonymous asked:

beck finds out that mark was using Vicodin as a condiment for his potatoes :O

#BRINGHIMKETCHUP


Three days of silent treatment and Mark was about ready to smash his head repeatedly against the nearest airlock until he could watch all the stupid still in there fly into space.

Because he was stupid. So, so stupid. He’d thought he reached the pinnacle of Mount Stupid when he blew himself up in the hab, but nope.

‘Breathing inside Hydrogenville’ had officially been downgraded to ‘small oversight’, as ‘Mentioning Mark’s appalling Mars seasoning choices while in Dr Beck’s presence’ took the ‘Greatest Stupid Move in Mark Watney’s Life’ award home. Well done.

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anonymous asked:

(1)Hi Gabi, I need your help:( is about the "not that important" thing. I'm from South America and I speak english (I'm not the best at it but I can defend myself pretty well) and there's people here saying that what Liam meant by pointing out+

(2)“female” as a trait that he looked for in a girl has nothing to do with gender, claiming that he was talking about a woman that’s “girly” or feminine (to them, Female and Feminine/girly mean the same thing). So basically, according to them+

(3)Harry practically didn’t outed himself during the interview. And I’ve always been sure of what Liam meant by saying that (and that’s why I think it was something so HUGE) but right now I guess I’m kinda confused because they’re also sure of what+

(4/4)/they think/ he meant. Could you please confirm what I think or tell me if I’m the one who’s wrong? ps: I think you’re really nice and you’re one of my favorite blogs here, so that’s why I’m asking you for help😊

—————-

Hey sweetheart. This is one of the situations where it is really not just up to your observation but Harry’s actions himself. You have to check if this is a one time thing or if it fits all his actions that he constantly made in the last few years.

In order to do that, let’s observe and go through some stuff:

Let’s not twist the script. Female is not a synonym to girly and feminine. They were asked to describe 4 traits they are looking for in a lady. Liam said FEMALE, to which Harry said: NOT THAT IMPORTANT. 

This means that Harry Edward Styles quite literally said that the gender of his partner is not important. He did not say girly, he did not say feminine. He was not joking, he was not bullshitting, he literally said the gender of his partner is not important. 

I know you did not say this, but we had a lot of fans saying oh he was just joking, he didn’t mean it. To the team: he joked: show me one gif, one video where Harry Styles is joking and he is not giving himself away in 0.004 seconds with having that *i have the best joke, watch me - and i am so proud* face, dimples out, laughing at it etc.

Harry typing in his penis joke, he is only PREPARING the joke and his dimples are deeper than the Grand Canyon.

This is joking Harry.

And his knock knock jokes:

This is NOT THAT IMPORTANT Harry.

Like I am sorry but looking at this gif you can cut the tension, even if this is only a video with no sound, you can literally hear him taking that deep breath, you can see him pulling his finger, looking out at his handlers, you can see that he is serious!!

And look at Liam, he gives it completely away. He is so fucking proud of his friend who has just outed himself.

So you are still saying he is joking?

You cannot look at these scenes and say he was joking.

FACT: Harry has been using gender neutral pronouns (THEY, THEM, PEOPLE) since the get go, even when describing his dream girl. Smartly swerving the questions by giving an answer (imagining his partner) but never omitting SHE or HER. Now, antis would say this is not intentional and this is out of respect to the world that he is being considerate (i know i know but I can’t skip this part), so that means he could slip, right? I mean always looking out to make sure to use gender neutral pronouns just to be considerate takes a lot of energy and it is easy to get that mask off. But when he slipped he said HEHIM. Several times. (and I am sorry but JUST LIKE HE ALREADY OWNED IT *grabs dick*). Him slipping with HE and HIM is actually the proof that saying them, they and people is his own way of swerving the question while still staying true to himself.

FACT: Harry has been rebelling very clearly in the last few years when being asked about ladies. (i had to ask *did you?*, simply not answering celeb crush questions, do you ever have crushes on girls? *no, never*)

FACT: Before Not That Important, Harry has gulped, he was fidgeting, the air stopped and it was clear that something off script was happening. Now why on earth would a female question cause gulping to womanizer Harry Styles TM?

FACT: In this same interview he outed himself a few times. The biggest one after NTI was him slipping dickhead. I have never EVER heard ANYONE call women DICKHEAD. There’s no situation where Harry Styles calls women DICKHEAD. (*you’re not gonna go out with a dickhead are ya?*). If you think he would call women dickhead then you don’t know Harry Styles. Especially his team would just cut that part if womanizer Harry Styles TM referred to women as dickhead.

FACT: this is not a one time thing, even if you ISOLATE this occurrence, you still have: *don’t knock it till you try it* when talking about SEX WITH MEN and TONS of not even subtle hints from Harry that he is not straight. 

So if you allow me I consider this case closed.

Harry Styles is not straight. And he would really appreciate his queercoding and his hints not being ignored and brushed off.

anonymous asked:

Allies husband imagine please

// i’m going to start including canada with the allies since he is technically apart of the allies. this is the only permanent exception to my 5 character only limit ʕ•ω•ʔ also i’m unsure what kind of scenario you want, anon, so i’ll just do headcanons- if that’s not what you wanted, please do message me with what you wanted- //

France / Francis Bonnefoy

  • He finds ways to keep the romance alive in he and his S/O’s relationship. He may take them on dates every once in a while, or just do special things around the house for them.
  • He always takes his S/O on very special trips on their anniversary. He may take them to a country they’ve always wanted to go to, or just take them on a tour around his country.
  • On date nights, he’d rather not go out. Instead, he treats them to a nice homemade meal and some fine wine. After the dinner, he would have a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom in hopes of a little something more that night. ;)
  • He’ll wake his S/O up by covering their face in light kisses and snuggling his face into their neck.
  • He’ll propose to his S/O by taking them on a hot air balloon ride and popping the question (if they’re not afraid of heights). If they are afraid of heights, he’ll propose the them in the comforts of their own home with a candlelit dinner.

America / Alfred F. Jones

  • He’s very playful around the house. His S/O could be cooking dinner or doing something productive and he will randomly come up behind them and throw him over his shoulder or something. He’d make sure they didn’t have anything dangerous in their hand, like a knife or something, beforehand though.
  • His S/O will have to literally drag him out of bed to get him up in the morning. It’s rare that he’s awake before 2:00.
  • He’d probably propose to his S/O using a meme or he’d do it in the most romantic way possible. There would be no in-between.
  • He would take his S/O out on date nights at least once a month to keep things romantic in their newly married lives. The date nights would consist of going dancing or going to an amusement park. Maybe both on some occasions.
  • Having children would be all up to his S/O. He would be happy either way. If his S/O decided against children, he would just get them a puppy and treat it like their child.

Canada / Matthew Williams

  • He’s very helpful around the house. He and his S/O will clean together, cook together, and wash dishes together. Everything will be done together.
  • For the first few months of their marriage, he won’t bring up the subject of children unless his S/O does first. He’s scared that they wouldn’t ready for kids, or that they won’t even want kids. Instead, the couple could just treat Kumajirou like their child.
  • He’ll wake his S/O up with forehead kisses and freshly made pancakes almost every morning. He’s a very loving and doting husband.
  • He’s very concerned in his S/O’s well-being every time they’re away from him. He loved this person enough to go through the human ritual of marriage with them, of course he’s going to be worried about them every time they’re apart.
  • He would be nervous while proposing to his S/O and would use note cards to make sure he didn’t mess up. It would be an adorable sight for his S/O, to see this Canadian bab all flustered and shakily holding his note cards tightly to his chest.

England / Arthur Kirkland

  • It would take a lot of convincing to have him commit to marriage. Marriage is a big thing alone for a normal human, but for a country, it’d be them devoting themselves to someone until they died. That would take a lot out of someone and he wouldn’t be sure if he could handle it.
  • If he is convinced to marry his S/O, he would make sure the proposal is nothing less than perfect. He would have a candlelit dinner with his S/O and would, reluctantly, allow France to cook the main course. However, he would be the one to cook dessert. He may even hide the ring inside whatever he thought to make for dessert.
  • He always makes sure his S/O gets up happy and ready to start the day. He usually wakes them up with a chaste kiss on the lips. If he has to leave before they wake up, he’ll leave them a nice note on the bedside table.
  • Date nights are rare with him. He hardly finds the time to schedule one, but when he does, he makes sure it is absolutely perfect in every way possible.
  • He gets incredibly worried if he and his S/O have to be separated for a long amount of time, but he hides it easily. He’s worried something will happen to them and he won’t be there to help them in whatever way he can.

Russia / Ivan Braginski

  • He’d be a very attached husband, but not annoyingly attached. He’d help out his S/O around the house and make sure they were always doing okay. He’d probably try to tag-along with them to the store or wherever they went, but it’s only because the baby cares a lot.
  • He would spend his evenings with his S/O by the fire and cuddle them.
  • He would propose to his S/O in his own home. He’d take them by surprise by randomly popping the question at the awkwardest time. It wouldn’t be that romantic, but it would be very sincere.
  • He would want to start thinking about kids right away, if his S/O was comfortable with it. If they didn’t want kids, he would be a bit crestfallen, but then he’d by a cat and feel better.
  • His S/O will wake up with him nearly on top of them every morning. It may be a bit uncomfortable for a while, but they’ll get used to it.

China / Yao Wang

  • Just like England, he would have the same worries and concerns about marriage. He’s been around a while and has managed not to get too attached to any human in particular. Having an S/O come around and make him rethink his thoughts about relationships and marriage would freak him out a bit.
  • His proposal would be pretty simple. He’d casually slip them the question in a conversation as if it were nothing.
  • He cares a lot for his S/O and shows it to them by cooking things for them and such.
  • He’s incredibly worried about his S/O a majority of the time, whether they’re with each other or apart. He’s worried something may happen to them and tries to watch out for them as much as possible.
  • He’s actually a pretty silly partner. Throughout the day, he’ll make jokes about his age to his S/O and tease them quite a bit. He may try to pick them up at random points in the day, only to have his back give out and the two of them fall over.
Where Did We Go Wrong? (Luke imagine)
  • Perfect. Everything was absolutely perfect. Nothing could possibly go wrong- or so you thought. Dating Luke was nothing but smiles at first, but now, now it was a totally different story. He was a completely different person from when you first met. He would come home later every night, never telling where he had disappeared to. Not to mention, when he was home, he never acknowledged you, not even the slightest glance in your direction. As much as you hated to admit, Luke changed, and you didn't know if he would ever be the same again.
  • <br><br>. . . .
  • <br><br>One morning, you were drinking your daily cup of coffee when Luke stumbled in, clearly hungover. You rolled your eyes, and chose to ignore him, done trying to fix something beyond repair. You decided to text your friend, asking her if she was busy and if she wanted to hang-out. She replied quickly with a short, "yes." You placed your mug in the sink, still avoiding Luke, who was searching for pain-killers.
  • You ran up the stairs two at a time, soon arriving at your shared bedroom. Taking a quick shower, you couldn't help but think about Luke. What happened? Did he still love you? Does he want to break-up with you? Shaking your head, you got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around yourself. After dressing yourself and applying make-up, you walked downstairs.
  • Luke was seated at the dinner table, not even looking up when you arrived. Why would he? You grabbed your keys and your phone then left the apartment-not saying a word to Luke about where you were going. Not that it mattered to him, anyways, he hates you, you were sure of it. For some odd reason, though, it didn't bother you.
  • While out shopping with your friend, you managed to keep your mind off Luke. She told you Luke wasn't worth your time and that you deserved much better. You began to believe her, and came up with an idea. You were going to leave Luke. Simply pack your belongings and go. He would be out all day, doing God knows who, so it was perfect. It was clear he didn't care if you left or not, you saw that this morning when you left for the mall. Leaving Luke wasn't something you thought you would have to do, but you had to- before you got deeper in the hole than you already were.
  • <br><br>-
  • <br><br>Arriving back at your apartment, you went straight upstairs with your friend following behind. You began packing your clothes into boxes while your friend packed everything else. She tried to comfort you, but in all honesty, you didn't need it. You were ready to forget about Luke as he has with you and go on with your life.
  • You finished packing, not leaving a trace of you behind. Not any pictures you hung up, any clothing, nothing- not even a letter telling where you ran to. It wasn't important, Luke will get over you easily- if he hasn't already moved on that is.
  • You took in one last look at the place that used to hold so many memories. Everything from late night cuddles to movie nights on the weekends. That's all they were now, is little memories from a perfect life long ago. You shook your head as your friend put her hand on your shoulder. You looked at her and nodded, showing her that you were ready to go. Ready to live a life without Luke and simply be another woman in his life.
  • <br><br>Luke's P.O.V
  • <br>After another night out, I decide it's time to go home. Flashbacks from tonight play in my head over and over as I drive home. She was beautiful, but there was something wrong, something that wasn't quite right.
  • As I pull up to the driveway I feel something wrong.I push off the feeling as I walk up to the front door and push my key in.
  • Right when the door closes behind me, I am hit with the extreme feeling of emptiness. I make my way to the kitchen and there on the counter is a pair of keys. The keys to the apartment to be exact. What is going on? She never leaves her keys in the kitchen, they're always in her purse. The emptiness on my chest grows as I get closer to the bedroom. I pause at the door and take a deep breath before proceeding to open it.
  • Opening the door, I am left to see an empty bed. That's when the weight on my chest is unbearable. The apartment is like a ghost town- I feel half alive. The walls are stripped bare of all of her pictures, the closet only filled with my clothes, and her half of the bathroom naked. Where did she go? She couldn't have just left, she loves me- doesn't she?
  • I begin to freak out so I decide to call her, only to be disappointed to be greeted with her voicemail. I call her once again and much to my surprise, she picks up.
  • "Is this some kind of sick joke?" I retort.
  • "Does it sound like I'm laughing, Luke?" She whispers, her voice broken.
  • "Why did you leave? Sweetheart, you can't leave, come back." I plead her.
  • She sighs and replies,"Luke, you're never home and when you are, you completely ignore me. You've made it pretty obvious that you don't love me anymore, I've seen the love bites. Don't assume that I'm that clueless, Luke. I know that you've changed and you would rather have one night stands than an actual girlfriend. So I left before I could get more hurt than I already am."
  • "I do love you, though baby."
  • She laughs, but not her genuine, happy laugh, but rather a bitter one. "You sure do have a weird way of showing it, don't you?"
  • "Baby, come home please."
  • "No Luke, you should've thought about the consequence before you made your decision."
  • "Don't you love me?"
  • "I do Luke, I really do, but it's obvious you don't love me anymore. If you did you would try to spend time with me, or tell me where you've been all night. I mean, how can you love someone if you don't even look at them? Where did we go wrong, Luke?" I didn't know how to respond, so she took it as a cue to continue. "Luke, I don't know what's been going on with you. You say you love me, but I know you honestly don't. Which is exactly why you've been with other girls every night. It's fine though, really. I guess we weren't meant to be. You'll move on and so will I, you just have to let me go. This is for the best, Luke, and you know it."
  • "Give me one more chance."
  • "I've given you too many, and you've wasted them all, Luke."
  • "Just one more is all I need, (y/n). I'll show you what you really mean to me. Just please, don't leave me. I can't live without you, babe. I love you. I love you, baby, and only you."
  • "I'm sorry, Luke, but you're much too late. Goodbye."
  • The line went silence and Luke broke down. Uncontrollable sobs were leaving his mouth as he just realized he made the biggest mistake of his life. He let his sunshine, his world, his everything leave him forever, and he didn't even try to get her back before it was too late. He couldn't help but think about what she said, where did they go wrong?
  • -
  • Hey sweethearts! This is my first imagine and I'm very proud of it. I would love your feed back on it, too. Part two? Thanks for reading! Ilysm.~Emily

anonymous asked:

Can you do an Everlark Drabble of either lovers or just best friends, one of them had surgery and the conversation that follows once the other is awake?

Anesthesia

When Delly called in near hysterics looking for someone who could take Peeta home from the hospital after his surgery, Katniss wanted to say no. Not because she wanted to further upset Delly or because she didn’t want to help Peeta, but because she really just didn’t want to leave her bed on her one day off from work. But there she was, in Peeta’s recovery room, waiting for him to finally wake up. The nurses warned her that he’d be pretty groggy for a little while but since it was relatively minor surgery, he should be cleared to go home later that day.

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