i'm sorry i really don't know what's wrong with me sometimes

sorry

I’m sorry if we used to text and don’t anymore. I’m sorry for not texting or checking up on you. i don’t hate you/am not interested, its the exact opposite actually. i love you and love talking to you and thats why I’m not texting. I’m scared that you don’t want to talk to me, that you’re only answering to be polite. I’m scared that I’m bothering you or making you feel like you have to answer me. I’m scared that I’m saying the wrong thing, even if its just “hey whats up”. I’m scared that i won’t have anything to say. that’ll be boring and weird and uninteresting. I’m trying, i really am, to text often. to check up. to say hi. just know that this is the reason why sometimes i don’t.

Sometimes when something is on my mind, I have to say it. My filter that regulates appropriate versus inappropriate things to say just disappears. I try to hold back these thoughts, but I can’t help but feel them and become completely overwhelmed by them. So I say them. And I’m sorry if it was the wrong time and place to tell you what I told you, but I had to. I really did. It would have bothered me all night and all day today, slowly eating away at me because I can’t really keep things from you. I’ve tried. And it hasn’t worked. I hope you can understand.
—  9:14am thoughts// but maybe your lack of response means you don’t, and it’s okay