i'm sorry i posted a lot of stupid stuff today

The signs as Church/Alpha quotes
  • Aries: OK, fine. Triangle of Confusion! Rhombus of Terror! Parabola of Mystery! Who cares? Get the goddamn show on the road!
  • Taurus: Okay guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing girlfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who thinks his pet just died, AND our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised in our base right now. So I really, really, REALLY don't have time for this HORSESHIT RIGHT NOW!
  • Gemini: Hey rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
  • Cancer: That's right... I'm a gay robot.
  • Leo: You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that has happened, you know what I learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole, or pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant, or an idiot, or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise them on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they are a complete and total fucking douchebag.
  • Virgo: When it goes off, I'll be fine. It only affects computers, remember? And I am a motherfuckin' ghost.
  • Libra: And this is the voice of God! Give up your evil ways. Join the Blue team!
  • Scorpio: Huh. I don't know why but, I hate goodbyes.
  • Sagittarius: Okay. We all agree that while the current situation is not totally ironic, the fact that we now have to work together is odd in an unexpected way, that defies our normal circumstances. Is everyone happy with that?
  • Capricorn: And Tex? The one thing I didn't realize before was this. Maybe I'm the last Church not because I fixed everything, but because I died and there's no way I can come back. If that happens, I just want to let you know I'm sorry. Sorry I got you mixed up in all this stupid stuff. Sorry I wasn't a better guy than I should have been. Sorry for... well, a lot of stuff...
  • Aquarius: ...but, if we do survive this, then it's totally because of me and you should build a fucking statue in my honor. I'm serious! Something cool! Like me on a horse. No, no, no, wait, a motorcycle!
  • Pisces: I just want you to know... I always hated you. I always hated you the most.