i'm sorry i just have a lot of pull up feels

i say “i’m seeing a therapist” and he takes a step backwards. why he wants to know. what happened. what made me like this, basically. what was the final step that pushed me safely into the side of scary people like them.

there’s a lot i think about. like how my illnesses effect me outside of the actual symptoms. like beyond the weight there’s a second river to drown in.

i mean we don’t talk about having to stare at employment papers where they ask you to self-identify your problems. that little bead of sweat that forms when you worry - what if i don’t tell them and i need help? what if i tell them and they think i’m a risk factor? what if they won’t give me the job?

we don’t talk about the way some people act when they find out. the ones who are rude about it are one thing. but then there’s those people you thought were your friends who act like you just told them you’re infectious. who become weird and distant and suspicious like a switch flipped. like if they get to close to you, you’ll give it to them.

we learn to be okay with things we overhear on the bus but we never get used to it coming out of the mouth of the people we love. we carry this secret with us like a rotted fruit, clutching it to our bodies. we’re ashamed of our scars in front of our boss. we don’t talk about our panic attacks during lunch breaks. when the cop pulls you over “i’m disassociating” isn’t an excuse we can open the page on. when you watch people make these ranting posts about how real friends always text back, how if someone loves you, they’ll find the time to spend. success stories make other people cry with inspiration while some part of your brain is saying you can’t do that, you’re not like them. things are uglier at the bottom. you can’t explain why you can’t just make friends. you can’t write because you’re depressed but when you’re depressed you write best. you can’t eat today and no don’t ask why please. nevermind taking the train. never mind trying to be happy. never mind reading books and watching movies and wondering where exactly are people like you in hero stories. i watch a video where a man tells me that being depressed is just a mindset. when i wear all black someone remarks i look particularly emo today. it’s 2017 does anyone say emo anymore, i ask her, and she laughs, “you just look like one of those fake-depressed girls.” okay.  

i don’t tell him my therapist is actually why things don’t happen anymore. why i’m getting a handle on it. my tongue feels swollen. i feel embarrassed talking about it. in the highest twist of irony, i think of how many people know my problems anonymously on the internet. i almost spill out all my troubles onto him. instead i tell him it’s just a precaution. that i think everyone should really see a therapist, they’re brain mechanics and we all need a tune-up now and then. he relaxes.

okay. okay. i’m sorry i’m one of them.

anonymous asked:

I know we're all dead but can we talk about how cute it was that he said thank you when she took her top off? And how intimate that moment was when he just took a second to look at her, to breathe her in, to confirm that this was really happening? Cause of death: Olicity.

Oliver was the perfect gentleman throughout that entire scene. 

Starting from the beginning, he was… everything. He was a man who was clearly still in love with this woman, but he’d also heard her last season when she said she was, for all intents and purposes, done. He was a man who was willing to get every tiny scrap of her natural sunlight, no matter what the cost for himself. Y’all are lying to yourselves if Felicity wasn’t doing exactly what Curtis suggested when the idea of her trying the salmon ladder came about. She’s all cute and flirty and doing something that shows a lot of skin, and yet, the entire time, Oliver was just so sweet. He didn’t push it, he didn’t take what are pretty obvious signs, he didn’t do anything without her explicit permission and direction. They went through two bottles of wine, my friends, they were quite a few sheets to the wind and still, he was the perfect gentleman. Even when she asked him to help her down, when he grabbed her waist, when he held her close, letting her down gently, cradling her like she’s the most important thing in his entire world (she is)…

(src)

He was just… 

(src)

… so Oliver and so respectful and I loved it so much.

But then it gets better.

Felicity finally makes the first move, she kisses him and remember the way he responded? 

(src)

(wow they kiss really well like damn well done a+)

He gives it his all because that’s all he wants to give her. He messed up so much in the past, and while the source of those issues are deeply buried and require a fucking bulldozer to unearth, it doesn’t change that it effectively ruined the best thing in his life. But now, now he has her back and it’s everything. Yes, the wine has stripped their inhibitions, but it just scratched off the surface, revealing what they’ve always, always wanted.

(src)

(src)

(This was cute af, anon, I so agree. He’s so totally getting swept up in the sensation of having her in his arms again, of kissing her, tasting her, feeling her, and it’s intoxicating. It takes over everything, leaving no room for anything but continuing to feel those wonderful things. We see that in the way he suddenly spins her, with so much intent, so much purpose - I know I’m not the only one who thought that was going somewhere else - but then he’s so painfully gentle with her. He could absolutely rip her sweater to pieces if he wanted to and he knew she probably wouldn’t complain one bit until later, but he didn’t, because remember, this is the Oliver who has been in love with this woman forever and he lost her and he’s been respecting her wishes in not pursuing a relationship and suddenly she’s here and she’s with him, but that doesn’t change where they are mentally, where he’s at mentally. (Wow, tangent.) It’s marked with that soft, adorable smile of his - that happy smile of his - and the way he says, “Thank you.” It’s really as if he’s thanking her for giving them this chance again.)

And then…

(src)

The passion is back, brimming over, all-consuming, burning them from the insides out, taking over everything, pulling them together like the magnets that they are…

But that’s not all it’s about, not quite. It’s about that, oh yes, but it’s also about connecting again, not just physically but emotionally and mentally, with their very souls. This isn’t just physical for Oliver, nor is it for Felicity, which is what he needs to double check, he needs to see, to make sure that… 

Well, that this is happening, that it’s what he thinks it is, that she’s on the same page, that she wants this, that she wants it as badly as he does, that she’s doing it for the same reasons, that… 

(src)

(the way he whispers her name, a gasp, a breathless plea… a prayer…)

He has to make sure. He has to. One, because it’s Oliver and when it comes to Felicity, there’s never been a halfway. 

Which is so very interesting considering what happened tonight - thinking about it from Oliver’s perspective, he honestly thought he was giving Felicity everything he could. He didn’t know at the time that he was only giving half of himself, only giving her the pieces he felt worthy of her, not realizing that he was hiding things from her, all under the guise of trying to protect her, in his own warped way. He has been broken, in his mind, for so long, but it’s only when he’s whole within himself that he can finally be with her, which we’re finally seeing, thank goodness.

He’s all in or he’s all out and he needs to know that Felicity is there with him.

(src)

But not a simple “Are you sure this is what you want,” no, it’s more than that.

(src)

It’s about them, and their love for each other.

(src)

And there it is. She’s right there with him, her love for him shining through, bathing him in its purity, a cleansing feeling that shines light in the darkest corners of his being (even if he doesn’t recognize it until much much much later). 

Cause of death: Olicity 

Indeed, anon. Indeed.

BTS Reaction to You Flinching During an Argument

Requested by Anonymous, “bts reacts to you flinching? ive seen this one a lot but i want to know how my favorite writer will have this down ((:”


Jin ➳ He didn’t mean it at all, the words slipping from his lips and his tone maximizing as each second passed by wasn’t what he had intended to happen, and especially when you clenched your eyes shut as he had hastily grabbed onto your shoulder — he instantly felt despair wash him over as his limb was quickly retracted. “No, no, no” he quickly said, eyes painted in a thin layer of mist as he gulped, “I could never bring you physical pain, you believe me, yeah?”

You didn’t respond, looking away as you bit your lip whilst sniffling; and when his hand reached up slowly above your frame, it froze, wondering if the moment he decided to lay a finger on you, your image would disappear like the ripples erupting inside the sea.

Originally posted by akaishinkirou


Suga ➳ He was cold, black wispy bangs covering his obsidian orbs like a sheer curtain, but, you could still see the gems gleaming in lividity as his impassive tone was soon laced with a ferocious growl, and even though he had only threw his hand up in the air to point towards the direction the man that had confessed to you had walked down after trying to kiss you inside your own home, you stagger in fear of being hit by the swinging arm — soon landing on your bottom as you let out a weak cry.

“Babe, I'm–” but he stopped, only staring to you in remorse as he believed it wasn’t his place to apologize, wondering how he could have let the argument go so far to the point that you believed he could hurt you.

Originally posted by yoongiyi


J-Hope ➳ It was just a teeny fragment that had chipped from his heart the moment a teardrop of translucent crystals had slithered a trail down your skin, but when you had brought up both arms to hug your face when he had only took a step forward; his heart blasted, immediately causing the man to burst into silent tears. Using the sleeve of his shirt, he wiped the tears away because he knew he didn’t deserve to cry or try to explain himself, yet, his emotions still spoke for him.

“Do you really think that little of me?” He cracked out, reaching over hesitantly as he pulled you into his chest, his other hand lifting your chin up to lock eyes with him, “never will I hurt the one I love, (y/n), never.”

Originally posted by d-boy93


RapMonster“Please!” He yelled, turning to you in a frenzy as you stood at the door with an expression slowly morphing into sadness, “just get out!”

He didn’t know what had overcame him, he didn’t even realize when he had abruptly got up from his revolving chair just to charge towards you and before he could softly push you out from the bedroom, you had squeaked as you nearly toppled over your own footing as he quickly grasped your arm, apologizing to Namjoon in fear that he would hurt you and he knew it. He was heartbroken, letting go of you in the speed of light as he knew he couldn’t trust his own self, slapping his cheeks with his hands to calm his feelings down.

“I would never lay a finger on you,” he muttered, “the day I do, I’d be way past dead.”

Originally posted by just-namjooned


Jimin ➳ It was just a small, stupid argument over something so innocent, yet, he had let his jealousy get the better of him. He wasn’t yelling, only laughing sadistically as he looked to the floor with his fingers softly tapping the marble kitchen table and a small smirk adorning his features which scared you to bits. His kind demeanor was nowhere in sight, and when his head snapped towards your build with his fist slamming against the table and making you yelp — his eyes widened once your back stumbled into the wall just to get away from him.

“I’m sorry.” His whispered, quickly walking away because he knew he was in the wrong, and he also knew he didn’t want to see the expression you made ever again because that was enough to nearly burst his heart in pain and regret.

Originally posted by jinmini


V ➳ He saw the tears trickling down your skin, he noticed the way your pupils blasted with terror but he didn’t care, his anger painted him in colors so morbid that the moment he took a step closer to you, you couldn’t help but raise your arms up in defense as you flinched away. It was in a matter of seconds that the lone gesture had him apologizing immediately, quickly walking away from you to cool down and try to erase the image that would soon haunt him in his dreams.

“I love you, you know that, right?” He whispered into the spacey room later that night, slowly pulling you into his chest. Digging his face into your neck, he pressed a soft kiss as he waited for you to slowly fall into slumber.


Jungkook ➳ He was boiling with rage, his anger threatening to scald you as your yelling only further cackled the fire simmering the large pot of water that was slowly evaporating into thin air. Here he was slamming his fists onto the table, against the walls and once he stepped towards your frame as his hand reached for your shoulders — you flinched, squeezing your eyes shut as a tear slid down your cheek.

Jungkook froze, previous emotions flying from his mind as his heart began to shatter in many pieces, quickly pulling you into a hug and running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry,” he said, and although you could only laugh at the situation, his arms tightened around you, “I would never hurt you, please, believe me..”

Originally posted by kookiesforjimin


Masterlist

anonymous asked:

Hello!! Can I ask for a friend zoned MC feeling unrequited love to the RFA + V & Unknown which ends in a "I like you god damn it" confession?? And they like you back?? Thank youuuu (: I love your blog btw

Author’s note: sorry this is so rushed I have to post Saeran/V’s separate bc this is so long || So some of these aren’t as much confessions as they are cute, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM NONETHELESS ♥

Yoosung

  • “To the left, MC!!!! NO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!”
  • You smashed the buttons of your controller down, hoping something good would happen
  • I have no idea what I’m doing.
  • “Uhh, Yoosung?”
  • “Hmm?”
  • “I think I just died.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • You set your controller down and glanced over at your best friend
  • His eyes were glued to the screen, tongue sticking slightly out just like it always does when he’s focused on something
  • The light from the monitor flashed white and Yoosung jerked forward, causing your knees to collide
  • You felt your face heat up at the skin on skin connection
  • “A-Ah, Yoosung?”
  • “Not now, MC, I think I can win this!!”
  • Yoosung leaned over in front of you, trying to get a better angle of the screen
  • You got a whiff of Yoosung’s shampoo and your heart skipped a beat 
  • I don’t know how he smells this good after playing video games all day.
  • You involuntarily reached out and ran your fingers through his hair
  • “…So soft.”
  • For a second you though you felt Yoosung leaning into your touch
  • But that’s probably my imagination…
  • The screen flashed again and Yoosung turned around to look at you
  • He was still leaning over on your side, your faces now inches apart
  • “I won!”
  • Yoosung gave you a close eyed smile
  • That damn smile.
  • When you didn’t respond to him, Yoosung frowned
  • “What’s wrong, MC?”
  • “…”
  • Screw it.
  • You summoned every ounce of strength you had and closed the gap between his lips and yours
  • Before Yoosung could react, you pulled away
  • “U-Uhhh,” you looked at Yoosung’s bright red face, “Congrats on the win?”
  • Do it!! Tell him how you feel!
  • “Yoosung, I-“
  • “M-Me too.”

Zen

  • It was just another average friend date with Zen
  • You, him, a small bistro, hundreds of fans all begging to get a picture with him
  • Just a normal day
  • “Zen, over here!!!”
  • “Sorry about the flash, I just HAVE to make sure it’s a good picture.”
  • “Are you stupid??? ALL of Zen’s pictures are good!”
  • You turned to look at your friend, who was soaking up as much of the limelight as possible
  • This dork…
  • He stood up and tapped on his glass with a fork
  • “Ladies, ladies, you can all get a picture with your Zenny, just be patient!”
  • “Since when are you theirs?” you mumbled, crossing your arms
  • Zen glanced back at you
  • Crap, did he hear me?
  • You gave him a big smile and a thumbs up
  • That ought to throw him off his tracks.
  • Zen turned back to the sea of fans
  • “I’ll be outside in ten minutes, so if everyone could make a line outside, that would be perfect!”
  • In the blink of an eye the restaurant was empty again, a flood of screaming girls and guys retreating outside to wait for their prince
  • A sigh of relief escaped your lips as Zen sat down
  • “Are you mad at me?”
  • You looked down at your food and began messing with it
  • “Don’t play with your food, MC.”
  • “Okay, mom.”
  • He sighed, “If you aren’t going to answer my question I’ll just go outside right now.”
  • Zen put his hands on the table and started to push himself up
  • “W-Wait.”
  • You grabbed his arm and pulled him back down
  • “I’m not mad at you,” you sighed, “I’m just mad that we never get to spend time together like we used to.”
  • Zen put his hand on top of yours and leaned in toward you
  • “What do you mean? I see you all the time up at work!!”
  • You stared at his hand
  • He’s touching me.
  • He’s holding my hand.
  • ZEN is holDING MY FREAKING-
  • “MC???”
  • You awkwardly coughed and pulled your hand away
  • “Y-Yeah, uh no… what were we talking about?”
  • Zen leaned back in his chair
  • “Never mind… let’s just eat.”
  • He lifted up his glass of water to his lips
  • Those lips…
  • “I love you.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • “DAMNIT ZEN!”
  • You pushed away from the table and stood up
  • “You spit all over my shirt,” you gestured down to the wet material that clung to your chest, “my WHITE shirt!!’
  • “W-Well you said that you… you love me.”
  • “Ah… that.”
  • And all of sudden, the floor became veryyyyy interesting
  • I wish I had the power of invisibility…
  • “MC, look at me.”
  • While you were contemplating superpowers, Zen had taken the time to walk over and stand in front of you
  • “Nah, I think I’m good,” you continued looking down, “the floor happens to be my favorite shade of… brown.”
  • A soft and warm hand tilted your chin up, and your eyes met his scarlet ones
  • “I love you too.”
  • You slowly leaned in-
  • “ZENNY, WE’RE WAITING~”
  • Offff course.
  • Zen stepped back and glanced at the girl peeking through the front door
  • There was the click of a camera and a squeal, and she was gone again
  • Zen scratched the back of his head
  • “Sorry, I guess it’s-whoa whoa WHOA, what are you doing????
  • You flung your wet shirt over the back of the chair and shivered
  • “Man, this place is kinda cold,” you looked up and smirked, “then again, I am wearing just a bra.”
  • You heard a very inhumane noise come from the back of Zen’s throat
  • “The fans can wait.”
  • Zen grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest, his lips crashing against yours
  • The beast was NOT contained that night

Jaehee

  • On your way out of the RFA building you glanced at your watch
  • Damn… it’s already 11pm? I stayed waaaaayyyy too late.
  • When you walked past the break room you heard the familiar sound of the copy machine clunking turning on
  • “…damn Jumin and his damn reports-“
  • I wonder if that’s…
  • “-with his damn cat and the damn cat wine.”
  • Yup, that’s Jaehee.
  • You peeked in the room and watched as she stuffed a stack of papers into the copy tray
  • She wiped her hands on her skirt and sat in the chair next to the whirring machine
  • “You should go talk to her.”
  • “WhAT THE-“
  • Seven put a hand over your mouth and pulled you away from the door
  • Jaehee glanced up and sighed
  • “Anyone there?”
  • Seven removed his hand and you lowered your voice to a whisper
  • “What the hell do you want?”
  • He glanced at the breakroom and then back to you, giving you his famous ‘I have an idea that could go horribly wrong or perfectly right’ look
  • “Good luck,” was all he said before grabbing you and harshly shoving you in the breakroom
  • “WAIT-”
  • But it was too late
  • In a flash the redhead was gone, and you were alone with Jaehee
  • She looked up and smiled
  • “MC? I didn’t know you were here so late! It’s nice to have some company.”
  • You stared at her, unsure of what to say
  • S-So cute…
  • “U-Uhh, yeah…”
  • Jaehee stood up and stretched, letting out a tiny yawn
  • “How much longer does Jumin have you here?”
  • She picked up the warm copies from the tray and leaned up against the machine
  • “I just have to run this back to his office and I’m done! At least, until he inevitably calls me at midnight asking for more cat food…”
  • You walked with her to Jumin’s office, continuing to listen to her rant about his late night antics
  • When the two of you finally got there, she plopped the papers in a box outside the door
  • “H-Hey, Jaehee?”
  • She glanced over at you
  • “Hmm?”
  • “You wanna go grab some late night coffee? Since, you know, Jumin should be calling you in about,” you checked your watch, “30 minutes.”
  • “Sure!! That’s exactly the pick me up I need, a nice little friend date!”
  • Hold up.
  • “…Friend date?”
  • “Yeah, I was thinking-”
  • “I like you. A lot.”
  • Jaehee stopped and turned to you
  • “A-As a friend?”
  • You stepped closer, “More than a friend.”
  • Her eyes widened and a deep blush spread across her cheeks
  • “Oh…”
  • “Oh?”
  • You felt your heart break in two
  • She doesn’t feel the same… dammit, this is why you never fall in love with a straight girl.
  • Tiny hands wrapped around your own, causing you to look back up
  • Jaehee had a soft smile spread across her lips
  • “Me too… a-about the not friend thing.”
  • Her gripped tightened, “Not that I don’t consider you a friend! I’m just, well, what I’m trying to say, or rather, what want to say-”
  • “Would you two KISS ALREADY???”
  • Both of your heads snapped in the direction of the voice
  • “Seven, whyyyyy are you still here?”
  • “Still?”
  • “Yeah, he was here earlier when-”
  • “-When I set you guys up!”
  • As you and Seven began arguing, Jaehee looked between the two of you and sighed
  • She interlocked fingers with you and pulled you away
  • “Sorry, Luciel, but we have a date to get to.”
  • You stuck your tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes
  • “Whatever… have fun you two love birdddssss!!”
  • You looked over at Jaehee and smiled
  • Oh, we will.

Jumin

  • Dammit, he closed the blinds.
  • You rolled your chair closer and angled your head in an attempt to see into Jumin’s office again
  • “Peeping tom much?
  • “Shut it.”
  • Zen sighed and leaned up against your desk
  • “I still don’t understand what you see in him.”
  • You rolled your eyes and looked over at Zen
  • “You promised you’d be supportive-
  • “-And I am,” he held up his hands in surrender, “I just think you could do better.”
  • “What? Like date you?”
  • “Well, not that much better.”
  • Zen smirked and you playfully hit him in the stomach
  • Within the next second the two of you burst out laughing
  • “Wow,” you wiped a tear from your eye, “I don’t even know why that was so funny.”
  • “Me neith-”
  • “MC,” Jumin’s voice boomed, “Can I see you in my office?”
  • Zen raised his eyebrows and pushed himself off your desk
  • “Good luck,” he glanced back, “with him, you’ll need it.”
  • You rolled your eyes and stood up, cringing when your knees made a loud pop
  • Could my body, like, not embarrass me? No? Alllllllrighty.
  • You walked into the room and Jumin closed the door behind him
  • “So, what’s up?”
  • Jumin turned around and sighed
  • “I believe some… congratulations are in order.”
  • Huh?
  • “Did I get a raise?”
  • Jumin chuckled, taking one big step toward you
  • “No, I’m talking about you and Zen.”
  • …Huh?
  • “I’m a little lost… what do you mean-”
  • “Your relationship. Are you not romantically involved with each other?”
  • “Huh?”
  • Said that one out loud this time…
  • You mentally kicked yourself, “Zen and I are just friends.”
  • “Just friends?”
  • “Purely platonic.”
  • Jumin scratched his chin, completely lost in thought
  • You took a deep breath
  • Here goes everything nothing.
  • “…I actually have my eye on someone else.”
  • Jumin snapped back into reality
  • “Who? If that, well, if it isn’t too much to ask.”
  • Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap-
  • “Is it really not Zen?”
  • Oh my god.
  • “You know,” you grabbed his tie, “you’re pretty clueless for a CEO.”
  • In one gentle tug, your lips connected with his
  • After a few seconds, Jumin pulled away
  • “So, it’s me then?”
  • You shook your head and grinned
  • “Of course, you-“
  • Jumin’s lips crashed on to yours again,his hands cupping your face
  • And let’s just say you were now very thankful for the closed blinds

Seven

  • “Wrench.”
  • “WRENCH!”
  • “Screwdriver.”
  • “SCREWDRIVER!!”
  • You grabbed the two tools from Seven’s hand
  • “You know, you don’t have to repeat everything I say.”
  • “Repeat everything I-OUCH! MC, why’d you kick meeee?”
  • Seven hugged his shin and hopped up and down
  • I’m surprised he has this much energy at 2 in the morning….
  • You looked back up at Seven, who had miraculously gotten over his bruised shin and was chugging a can of Dr. Pepper
  • …Who am I kidding, he never sleeps anyways.
  • It had been about an hour since Seven called you asking for help fixing his chair
  • You had gone to the furniture store IKEA anyone??? with him earlier that day and actually took the time to READ the damn manual
  • Anddddd, done!”
  • You clapped your hands together and smiled
  • “Wanna test it out?”
  • Seven gave you a mischievous grin
  • “Don’t mind if I do!”
  • Before you knew it, Seven grabbed your waist and pulled you into his lap, causing both of you to fall back into the chair
  • It creaked under the combined weight of you and Seven, but surprisingly remained stable
  • “Hey, you really did fix it!!”
  • Seven began spouting off nonsense about how crappy it was earlier, but you were too busy thinking about the fact that you were sitting
  • In his lap
  • INCHES away from his face
  • He’s so warm…
  • “-Plus, it kept making weird noises! I’m so glad you came over tonight.”
  • “Mmhmm.”
  • “Uh, earth to MC?? Agent 707 calling, can you read me??”
  • You shook you head, zoning back in
  • Seven sighed, relaxing back into the chair
  • “Thank God Seven you’re okay… I can’t have my best friend dying on me… literally,” Seven chuckled at his own joke
  • I love that little laugh.
  • “Dammit…”
  • Seven looked back at you
  • “What’s on your mind, MC?”
  • “You.”
  • DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
  • “W-What?”
  • Here we go.
  • “Seven, I like you.”
  • “You mean,” Seven furrowed his brows, “You like me, or you like-like me?”
  • You rolled your eyes, how old is he again??
  • “You’re so ridiculous.”
  • Seven looked at you patiently
  • “I like-like you.”
  • You felt lips lightly press on the back of your neck
  • “Well that’s not fair,” Seven tightened his grip on your waist, “because I love-love you.”
keyed.

Originally posted by jiminnieseyesmile

3.8k words

members: jungkook, oc - reader

genre: fluff

warnings: language

You were sick and tired of your attractive idiot neighbor blocking your driveway.

a/n: i felt like writing this weekend and this happened surprise surprise. this is what happens when i’m buzzed off of two venti macchiatos please leave me feedback TT


“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You blocked out the angry voice shouting at you from your neighbors now open door. The hurried footsteps were getting closer but you pretended you didn’t hear, continuing to drag your key along the shiny black BMW blocking your driveway. Before you could reach the back tires a hand grasped your wrist, turning you around to face your irritating neighbor.

“Oh! Hey there, neighbor,” you grinned, innocently eyeing your neighbor head to toe. He was dressed casually with his hair tousled as though he’d just woken up. His jaw was tense as his hands tightly held your wrist, nothing but anger found in his eyes. You weren’t sure of his first name but had seen him a few times in silent passing. He was relatively new to the neighborhood, keeping to himself along with his roommate you caught quick glimpses of as well. The two had moved in a month ago and you kept to yourself as well, not bothering to play nice and whip up a housewarming desert you couldn’t even properly bake. It wasn’t until a week ago that you realized your neighbors weren’t exactly your cup of tea. They had people over constantly whether they were attending their overcrowded house parties, movie nights or simply staying over till the sun came back up. It seemed whenever the two had guests around their parking lot quickly become full, causing a new issue to arrive. You noticed the brunette, tall one seemed to have a kick out of parking right in front of your light blue beetle making it impossible for you to maneuver around his pricey sports car. The parties seemed to hit an all time high and you constantly found yourself trapped in your own driveway. You left sticky notes on his windshield, kindly asking him to stop blocking your spot and occasionally he would but it wouldn’t take long for him to fall back into his routine. It wasn’t until he made you late to your job earning you a lengthy lecture from your boss, that you felt you’d had enough, storming outside to drag your keys along his prized possession.

Your decision making skills weren’t the best when you were angry.

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anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

a friendly reminder that no matter how many bad books we read there’ll always be soc a.k.a the true masterpiece of our time which is like a safe blanket for murder babies and you can throw it over your head and pretend you’re on your way to a big heist or smth equally dangerous (but exciting) :’) and while you’re dreaming of $$$kruge$$$ you might also wanna remember that soc has:

- a bi poc character who didn’t dance around the term hgtawm style and pull some lame explanation out of his ass ala ‘it’s complicated’ but he actually said ‘not just girls’ so yeah confirmed bi poc who’s a KNOWN flirt and everybody praises him for it instead of mocking/shunning him honestly what did we do to deserve jesper fahey
- a disabled gang leader who’s literally thE BADDEST BARREL BOSS TO EVER WALK THE STREETS OF KETTERDAM caw caw bitches (he also has severe ptsd, panic attacks, suffers from traumatic flashbacks and experiences nausea and all kinds of ptsd symptoms everytime he (even accidentally) touches someone but does that limit or stop him in any way?? HELL NO MOFOS here comes kaz brekker with his crow cane and he’s about to whoop some ass better beware)
- a beautiful, amazing, talented, showstopping, spectacular, never the same woc who is basically?? everyone’s treasure, heart, love, most cherished person ever, role model, etc. etc. and it’s only right tbh inej ghafa owns my entire heart and i’d gladly give it to her over and over again if that would make her smile. she’s been sold into slavery (mentions/hints of prostitution which only adds to her bravery and strength thank you very much) when she was 14 but she managed to leave the past behind her and remain INCREDIBLY kind and humble despite all the shit she’s been through?? there is no character i adore, respect and love more than inej (okay maybe there is and inej calls her sankta alina b y e)
- a CANONICALLY. FAT. FEMALE CHARACTER WHO’S JUST!!! AMAZING. BREATHTAKING. HEART-STOPPING (literally). a true inspiration to us all who was also held captive when she was younger, trained by the mighty (goddess on earth) zoya nazyalensky, held captive again - this time by a gross ass, fanatic ass fjerdan nazi soldier/leader and lemme tell you she didn’t even lose her appetite. BOI she wasn’t even fazed. she couldn’t find a single fuck to give & she was determined to move on but she was plagued by guilt so she came back to save/help the boy who helped HER so she’s not just a pretty face and she’s so?? badass and smart and funny and fierce and she’s so fucking PROUD of every roll and curve on her body i could actually cry?? nina zenik, an actual muse for young girls/readers. nina zenik, life & wife goals
- a smol (very smol but also kind of a sinnamon roll tbqh? he aspires to be one anyway) angelic boy who comes from a TERRIBLY abusive home bc his father is an actual piece of shit and humiliated him all his life bc wylan couldn’t read. well guess what joke’s on van eck senior bc my boy, my CANONICALLY GAY SON, is smarter than him and his entire sorry lot and he’s gonna take over the world one day, you just wait. also just wants to make things go boom boom POW (usually regarding explosives but also applies to jesper a.k.a THE MOST PERFECT, CARING, WONDERFUL BF EVER)
- a big yellow tulip also known as matthias helvar. so matthias is that boy who helped nina escape the clutches of his scary boss and he’s the actual literal embodiment of the grumpy cat. but!!! he undergoes the biggest character development of all imo bc he manages to change for the better (bit by bit, brick by brick) and let me tell you that’s COMMENDABLE. like listen this is a young man who’s been brainwashed into hating everything nina & the rest of kaz’s merry band of misfits stand for. he’s been taught nothing but hate hate and more hate and he manages to turn his back on those prejudices and he opened up so much and we got to see so much more of him in ck and we learned that he’s super kind and sweet and giving, and he’s so pure and wonderful and amazing. he also loves nina zenik A LOT which is smth i can get behind and relate to 100000%
- last but not least kuwei, who’s not ~an official~ member of kaz’s vip club (pity pity pity) but. he’s a gay poc (asian!!! the same as tamar&tolya from tgt so please don’t whitewash him, it’s unacceptable) who’s sassy but kind of laid back at the same time and his favourite pastime is to just chill in the back and pretend he’s not listening/doesn’t know the lingo but guess what?? boy is like an international spy bc he understands more than he lets on. he also lost his father (which kind of turned him into a living prize bc everybody wanted him for his knowledge & chemistry skills, like he could probably cook up a deadly virus in three minutes if he was feeling inspired that day - which never happened but still. it’s good to have options) and yet never complained about anything and he just let that drama unroll like 👀👂 I HATE DRAMA 🎧🔍📝 overall deserved better

6

Trigger Happy Persona AU

What do you do in the face of ultimate despair? You get freaking pissed off and awaken your persona! Play as Hajime [codename “Ace”] who seems average at first until he awakens his second persona and becomes Izuru [codename “Blackjack”]. But the game isn’t complete without the strength of bonds and so enter Chiaki [codename “Bonnie”] who seems aloof by nature until she rips off her mask and summons an 8-bit spaceship!

**Please DO NOT edit, use, or repost any of these! Thank you!

HOLD UP! 

More AU concept art [thank you @likhangjosa] and info dump under the cut!!

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One Last Thing

12x12 coda almost a week late (oops)

When they get back to the bunker, Dean is surprised to see Mom head toward the room they’d assigned to her all those months ago. He assumed she’d leave as soon as they were safely back underground. He’s still staring down the hallway after her when he hears Cas sigh.

He turns to find him slumped in a kitchen chair, his hands in his lap and his coat closed enough to cover the blood and black…goo on his shirt. He’s staring down at the table with a crease between his brow.

“You OK?” Dean asks gruffly as he takes a tentative seat perpendicular to him.

“No.”

Dean balks at the honesty but doesn’t say anything. He leans forward and folds his hands on top of the table. Somewhere in the direction of Sam’s room, a door opens and closes.

“I shouldn’t be alive,” Cas continues, still staring at the table. “I would’ve never…”

Suddenly Cas’ eyes pop up and past Dean as Sam enters the kitchen.

None of them say anything as Sam grabs a cold cup of coffee. Dean and Cas look at each other. When Sam leaves, Cas’ eyes find the table again.

“I wouldn’t’ve…said what I said,” Cas continues, hesitance clear in his tone, “If I had known…”

A couple of seconds pass before it clicks for Dean. “That you weren’t actually gonna die?”

Cas nods minutely.

Dean leans back, runs a hand up through his hair and then drops it to his knee. “Look, man, you know I ain’t good at this. But you are family, so…what you said…it’s not–it doesn’t–you’re not trying to take it back, are you?” What the fuck–that’s not what he meant to say at all.

“No, of course not.” For some reason, Cas sounds angry. “It’s just that I–nothing.” He quickly turns his head to the side, the way he used to do when Dean had hurt his feelings.

“Cas,” Dean says softly. He waits until Cas looks at him. “I was scared to death when I saw that…what that spear did to you. I can’t lose you, man. So, uh, tell me. Whatever’s on your mind, spit it out.” It’s too harsh, too casual, but anything else wouldn’t be Dean.

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“What?”

Cas squints at him. “It was a declaration made because I thought it was the last chance I would get to tell you. I couldn’t die without telling you that I…that.”

Dean leans forward again and wipes his hand over his mouth. “You, uh, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. You know I’m not–I’m not very good at the whole, uh, love thing, but I know it’s there. I know we’re–you know, we’re good.”

Cas squints harder and leans forward so they’re only inches apart. “You knew I was in love with you?”

Hold on.

“That’s not–you didn’t–that’s not what you said, man. You didn’t say that.”

“Dean.”

That’s his “quit being a dense idiot, Dean” voice.

Dean huffs a nervous laugh and stares at the table. “Yeah, uh, this would be a hell of a lot easier if you had died.”

Now Cas is laughing, too. “We are terrible at this.”

Dean lifts his eyes shyly. Cas is studying him.

“Do you remember…” Dean stops and sucks in a breath. He shouldn’t be talking about this. “That day in the cemetery, when we all thought I was gonna die.”

Cas nods once but doesn’t say anything.

“I wanted to, uh, say something.” Dean smiles and scratches the back of his head. “Actually, I didn’t. I wanted to–to kiss you.” He winces in embarrassment.

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

Dean looks sharply over at him.

“If you waited until you were on the brink of death to kiss me, I would’ve killed you myself.”

“You waited until your deathbed to tell me you lo–”

Cas cuts Dean’s argument off with a kiss. It’s just a tentative press of lips, but Dean still lets out a needy, embarrassing whimper as it happens. When Cas pulls away, Dean mumbles, “Nuh-uh,” and grabs him by the cheek to pull him back in. His hip is digging into the edge of the table, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

It’s sloppy and too fast and Cas is breathing heavy and whispering, “I love you,” over and over right against Dean’s mouth and it’s all too much and not nearly enough.

Later, in the pitch black of his room, lying breathless next to an angel, Dean tells Cas that he loves him, too.

Dating Bruce Wayne Would Include

(Btw I am using the Batman v Superman Bruce Wayne, y’all)

  • Not being entirely sure as to how it all even happened
    • On the off-chance that you’re one of Gotham’s minimal elite, you probably met Bruce at a charity gala and, for some reason beyond your comprehension, he picked you out of the other well-dressed women
    • In the higher likelihood that you don’t come from an affluent family, there’s a multitude of possibilities as to where you met: Maybe you were at a gala working as part of the catering company and he accidentally spilled red wine on you. Maybe you worked as an intern or temp or had a desk job somewhere in the Wayne Enterprise building in Gotham. Or maybe he just saw some assholes giving you a rough time and he stepped in and then offered to walk you home.

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"I'm gonna kill him" -- Pt 1

Imagine – You are forced into an arranged marriage

“We need this Y/N. Our family needs it”. My mother spoke, standing in front of me at her desk with my father. They wanted me to marry this wealthy Shadowhunter that came from a well known family tree.
“And what happens to what I want?”. I said, not lifting my head to look at them.
“Oh don’t be so selfish! We have given you wonderful opportunities and have gotten you so far in this institute, you owe this to us”. My mother snapped. My father blinked nervously until he spoke, “Anyway it’s done. He’s coming to the institute tomorrow where you will be married immediately. Everything will be set up, you just have to show up, do you think you could do that?”, he was so patronising.
I glared at them but there was nothing I could do. I had to do this for my family, “Just tell me the time and I’ll be there”.

I walked out of their office to be greeted by Izzy and Clary walking down the corridor, “Hey, what was that emergency meeting all about?”, Izzy asked whilst both of them linked each of my arms. I was training with her when I got ushered to my parents.
“Oh just stupid family drama, wanna go into town for drinks?”, I asked the both of them needing one last night out with my girls before my freedom would be taken away.
“Of course, give us half an hour and we’ll be ready!”. They both ran off to get all dolled up whilst I just went back to my room.

I sat on my bed and just went over what my parents had said to me, ‘Don’t be so selfish’. I’ve been everything but selfish. I have always put everyone before myself. A knock snapped me out of my thoughts. I got up to answer it, “Izzy I thought you said half an-”. I opened the door to Alec. “Sorry I thought you might have been Izzy and Clary”. I held the door open and motioned for him to come in.
“So what can I help you with?”. Me and Alec had been close for a while, we had a flirty relationship, it was playful, we knew we both liked each other.
“Erm…this sounds stupid but I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight…for dinner…just me and you?”. I was so happy, the big grin on my face supported this.
“Alec I would-“, then I remembered. “but I can’t”, I didn’t want to tell anyone of the marriage yet. “I’m going out with Clary and Izzy tonight around town”. I saw the disappointment on his face which broke me.
“But you can come too, you can bring Jace and Simon as well if you want”. His famous smirk was now visible, obviously pleased with the invitation.
“Sounds great, I’ll go get the others”. He left, grazing my arm with his hand as he walked past. I walked over to my wardrobe looking at the options for me to wear. I wasn’t in a mood to make an effort so black jeans and a T it was.

I lay down and waited for someone to come and get me. The next thing I knew I opened my eyes to Jace leaning over me at my bedside.
“Finally! I’ve been shouting you for like 10 minutes!”. I sat up and let my eyes adjust.
“I’m sorry I must have dozed off”.
Jace looked at me worriedly, “What is wrong with you lately?”.
“I’m just exhausted, and stressed with all the mission reports I’m so behind on. The clave is on my back a lot these past few weeks”.
“Well we don’t have to go out tonight we can always-“.
I cut him off, “NO no….I need this”. He nodded with a look of concern and put an arm around me as we walked to go and meet the others.

We arrived at the club. I walked in with Clary and Izzy by my side whilst the other guys followed us in as we had more experience with mundane clubs.

Three hours, 7 shots, 4 vodka & cokes and a bottle of Malibu later….lets just say I was a little more than tipsy. We were all sat in a booth on the far side of the club right next to the dance floor. Jace and Clary were in the middle of a make out session whilst Simon was watching star wars on his phone as Izzy had passed out with her legs across Simon and her head on my lap. Me and Alec were talking…well, he was talking, I was slurring, although I could feel the room gradually starting to spin slower. Then all of a sudden Alec kissed me. It was long, passionate and so overdue. The second we pulled apart my lips did something before my brain could think about it.
“I’m getting married tomorrow”. My eyes were still closed from the kiss and they stayed closed for a few more seconds as I was scared to see what his reaction would be. All of a sudden I felt completely sober. I opened my eyes and regretted it immediately. He looked heartbroken, confused, vulnerable and angry. All those emotions were showing on one face and I was the reason why. Before I could say anything else he was gone, running out of the club faster than I’ve ever seen someone move.
“ALEC-“, I called out but the music was too loud and he was too far away, he wouldn’t have even come back even if he did hear me. Jace must have heard me though as he broke apart from Clary and chased after Alec. I looked down at my lap, tears fell from my face and onto Izzy but she was dead to the world to notice. When I looked up I saw Clary and Simon look at me with an expression that said ‘you have some explaining to do’.

I woke up in Clary’s room. She didn’t want to be on my own because of the state I was in last night, drunk and hysterical. After Simon took Izzy back to his I cried to Clary trying to get everything out whilst I still could. She was so supportive and was furious with what I was forced into but she understood that I felt like I had to do it, not for me but for my family. Jace had text Clary late last night to tell her he was back at the institute with Alec. They had just walked around the streets he said in the text and just talked. Alec had told Jace about the marriage, Clary explained it to Jace over the phone in which he told Alec but Jace was still pissed with me and Alec was still harbouring the same feelings from last night.
“They’ll both understand soon enough”. Clary must have noticed me staring into space and she must have knew that I was worrying about it all. I nodded.
“What time is it?”.
She checked her phone, “9:30 AM”.
I jumped up out of the bed and raced to the door, “I was meant to be in the chapel half an hour ago!”.

I ran into the chapel to find my mother pacing and my father talking to the silent brother who would be initiating the wedding.
“I’m sorry, I was out late and I lost track of time this morning”.
My mother walked towards me, “Enough with your excuses!”. I felt the tears build up behind my eyes threatening to run down my cheeks but I fought them back. She dragged me to the front of the room where I was met by my father and the silent brother. As I stood not listening to a word they were saying the door swung open. I clenched my jaw in anticipation for my future partner to walk in but to my relief it was Clary, Simon and Izzy. I hadn’t asked them to come and I didn’t want them to but right now I knew I really needed them. A tear escaped as I smiled at them. They sat at the very back not wanting to disturb any family business. Since what felt like forever I finally felt relaxed knowing that whatever happened today I had people who truly loved me just a couple of footsteps away. Then the door opened again and suddenly my anxiety went from 0 to 100 real fast. In he walked, the person I presumed I was getting married off to. The closer he came the more I realised he wasn’t the worst looking, I mean he was kinda cute; dark hair, tall, skinny yet muscle-y…I was literally describing Alec. Did this mean I had a type? No one could compare to how I felt about Alec. He was the one I truly wanted to be with, but my feelings didn’t matter.

The vows had been said, the runes had been drawn and the rings had been given. The wedding was over. Everyone dispersed until there was just me at the front of the room. Still stood in the place I had been stood throughout. My freedom had been taken…my future had been written. As I watched my family leave I let my guard down and all tears rushed out. Clary, Simon and Izzy raced to me. I didn’t know what to do anymore or what would happen to me now. For the first time in my life I felt lost and had no idea what I was going to do.

After the wedding I had gone straight to my room. The others wanted me to hang out with them so I could take my mind off of things for a few hours but I just wanted to be alone. I jumped straight in the shower and just stood there for what felt like hours under the hot water. I eventually got out and started to get changed when I heard noises coming from outside the bathroom door. I walked out, expecting to see Izzy gathering clothes so I could come and escape to Simon’s place with them but it wasn’t. It was my hubby…William I think his name was. I payed no attention throughout the ceremony so I avoided saying his name during the vows.
“What are you doing?”. I asked as he was putting everything from my room into boxes.
He looked back at me with what I can only describe as disgust on his face. “You are to be moved into my room on the East wing, if we want to make this believable”. The minute he turned back around anger rushed through me. How dare he come in here. How dare he take my things and look at me like that. I walked over to him and started unpacking all of my stuff.
“I’m not moving anywhere, my things are staying in this room and so am I”. I didn’t look at him. It felt good, it felt like I was getting control back over my life. This feeling stopped when he spun me around and slapped me across the face. His force was so strong that it knocked me to the ground. He grabbed the remaining boxes and left the room. I just lay there. Shocked at what had just happened.

I eventually composed myself and headed towards William’s wing, as I didn’t want to find out what would happen if I stayed in my room, when I bumped into Clary. She gasped and touched the side of my face, “Oh my god what did you do?”. I know she didn’t mean to say it the way I took it and she had no idea what had happened but all I heard coming from her voice was her saying it was my fault. Maybe it was my fault.
“Oh I was just stupid and hit my head on my bedside table from my nap before”. I didn’t want people to know and start gossiping. The wedding had already made me the topic of conversation on every mission so this would just make things worse. She just laughed, “What are you like!”. Then she left. I was just stood in an empty corridor.

•5 DAYS PASSED•

I gently pulled on an oversized jumper, for the purpose of no one seeing my bruises, and my sweatpants. I hadn’t spoken to anyone for days. I hadn’t even left the room in days because I couldn’t bare to see people so they could congratulate me on my wonderful new marriage, but I knew I had to train.
As I got to the training room I saw that half of the room was already occupied by Jace. Just him and a punch bag. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night at the bar, as well as Alec.
He saw me walk in, rolled his eyes and carried on punching. I grabbed my throwing knives and my seraph blade and went over to the dummies to practise my fighting skills.
After an hour Jace came over and threw a duel stick towards my feet, “Lets go”. The way he said it was so cold. I picked up the stick and walked to the centre of the room where he was stood and without being ready he struck the back of my legs and I fell to the ground. I gasped loudly and Jace looked at me like I was being dramatic but the pain was more than it usually was.
“How could you do it? How could you hurt him like that?”.
I slowly got back to my feet and steadied myself, “I didn’t want any of this to happen! I had to do this, my parents-“. He cut me off.
“NO”, he yelled. “There was no excuse, everyone has a choice and you chose to break my brothers heart. That night you told him at the club I could feel his heartbreak, there’s just no excuse for that”.
“HEY”, this time I yelled which threw him off guard. “I love Alec…so much”, tears started to build up and a lump was lodged in my throat. “I wanted to be with him and the night he asked me out was one of the happiest moments of my life. But no one understands. No one understands the pressure I was under”. I couldn’t hold back anymore and the tears fell. Jace was stood looking down at the floor, silent. I began to walk away when he gabbed my wrist. I screamed and fell down because of the pain. Jace stood back in shock not knowing what he had done.
He knelt down beside me, “What is with you today? And why are you dressed like winter for training”. I caressed my wrist, he pulled my sleeve up and saw all the bruises. He pulled up my other sleeve where more were hidden.
“Where the hell did you get these from?!”. I quickly got out of his grip and pulled down my sleeves and stood up.
I turned my back to him, “T-they’re from m-my missions”. I stuttered, not knowing what excuse seemed best.
“No they’re not because I’m always on your missions and we haven’t had one since last week, these are new bruises”.
A new set of tears came to the surface and when I turned to face him and he noticed.
“Is he hurting you?”.
At first I didn’t say anything, I just looked at the floor refusing to make eye contact with him. But the second I looked into his eyes I started hysterically crying and that’s when he knew.
He immediately came to my side and gently pulled my into a hug. It felt good to get it off my chest. After what felt like an hour he loosened he grip. “I’m gonna kill him”. He was began to walk off but I ran in front of him pleading not to.
“Please don’t! Please Jace”.
“Give me one good reason not to”.
“Because if he knows I’ve told people then I’m dead Jace. He lashes out when the tiniest things happen, so god only knows what he’s going to do if you beat him!”.
He nodded, hands still in tight fists but he understood.

Originally posted by alec-baene

anonymous asked:

Based on what you've come to know as a fan of BTS, if you had to guess - what do you think they each have for possible kinks? 🤔

I read these “kink lists” or MTL <insert kink here> all the time and I almost always think differently from what others put down on their lists.  Which is fine, because none of us have the slightest clue what the boys are really into.  And, to be honest, if I had written my list a month ago, it would probably look different than the one I’ve written below.  I can’t ever make up my mind.

Also, because I can’t ever do things simply or just follow instructions, it’s not really a list of kinks as much as it is ramblings about sex categorized by member.

BTS KINKS ACCORDING TO ME!

Originally posted by go2bedjungkook

Jin: Total slut who is down for most anything as long as he gets laid in the process.  Tie him up? Sure! Tie you up? Okay! Sex in an alley? Bring it on! Threeways, orgies, or totally generic missionary style? Yes, please!  Not into hardcore BDSM.  Would rather not have anything stuck in his butt, but could be convinced if horny enough.  Not a dom, not a sub – just wants to put his penis in your vagina and willing to do what it takes to make that happen.  Body types don’t generally matter to him. Fat, skinny, tall, short, whatever – he will want to fuck you… but I do think he’s got a special thing for chubby chicks.

Originally posted by jungsooneul

Yoongi:  My absolute bias, therefore I believe he’s mostly into the same things I’m into.  Don’t fight me on this – it’s my list and I get to choose my delusions.  Long, slow build up into sex.  Lots of teasing, nipple sucking, shallow fucking – won’t start pounding you hard until you are absolutely begging him for it.  Everything is a competition in his head, so he needs to make you cum first in order to “win” at sex.  Not a big moaner.  Loves to dirty talk – like really, super obscene, sometimes bordering on demeaning but never goes too far.  Wakes up in the middle of the night and wants sex.  Likes morning sex too. Prefers sex in a bed because he likes to be comfortable. Sadly, he’s not into public sex, but will totally finger bang you at the bar when he’s drunk.

Originally posted by ultranicolet

Hoseok: Likes to keep things private.  Prefers monogamous relationships where you build trust over time. Pretty standard sex life at first but once he trusts you, he starts pushing the boundaries and letting you in on what he really likes.  Into sensory deprivation – blindfolds and earplugs, so he can’t see or hear you coming. Not a traditional sub – he’s not into being obedient to you or anyone, but he does like it when you take the lead sexually.  Wants to get pegged by you, especially if he’s getting a hand job at the same time. Actually, really enjoys hand jobs in general.  Likes occasional orgasm denial or ruined orgasms because it makes him cum harder when he gets to orgasm for real the next time.

Originally posted by bangtangirl-cutennes-v

Namjoon:  His intellectual curiosity transfers over to his sex life as well.  Has read a ton of books and magazine articles on sex. Watches a shit-load of porn.  Extremely open minded.  Wants to try everything at least once.  Always checking in on you during sex to make sure you’re still into whatever is going on. Asks for a lot of feedback – wants to know if you prefer he go fast or slow, long strokes or short, up or down… he’s like a sexual investigator.  Is an awkward dom, but working on getting better at it.  Willing sub, but can’t do it all the time.  Into MFF threesomes… a lot!  Wants to fuck you in the butt.  Totally turned on by all body types, but is the most easily distracted by big boobs.

Originally posted by jiminios

Jimin:  Slightly dom leaning during sex but not life.  Gets off on being seen as manly, so wants to take the lead on pleasuring you – but not interested in being overly demanding or punitive.  Has an extremely strong desire to be needed by you.  Wants your praise desperately.  Gets off on hearing you moan and works hard to make that happen. Tiny exhibitionist streak in him and likes it when you feel him up in public, but not into full blown public sex.   Likes to hear you dirty talk to him.  Wants to fuck you in front of a mirror so he can see everything that is going on. Wants you to strip and lap dance for him, eager to do the same in return.  Into sexting and mutual masturbation.

Originally posted by we--are--bulletproof

Taehyung: Most likely to categorize girls into “girls you fuck” and “girls you marry”.  Respectful to both, but can’t quite reconcile that you can be both. He’ll outgrow it eventually.  In the meantime, he’s focused on the “girls you fuck” category.  Fascinated by strong and dominant women, so willing to be a sub in bed to them, but not interested in being a life-style sub.  Thinks he has to try to get all his sexual needs satisfied now before he settles down with the proverbial good girl, so he’s not thinking much about long term relationships at the moment.  Wants variety.  Into one-night-stands and friends-with-benefits situations. Totally up for threesomes, MFF or MMF – he doesn’t care.  Really wants you to sit on his face.

Originally posted by bane-niki

Jungkook: Thinks he needs to change sex positions every few minutes.  Likes to challenge himself (and you) into athletic sexual positions, like standing 69. Wants to work his way through all the positions in the Kamasutra.  Likes sex outdoors, in the woods, on the beach, in the backseat of the car parked along a country road.  Enjoys occasional quickies, but prides himself on endurance sex.  Excellent orgasm control so he can go for a long time. Not happy unless you’ve had multiple orgasms.  Recovers quickly, so able to have sex multiple times a day.  Totally into biting, scratching and hair pulling. Will happily spank you at your request.

  • hi, it’s me, back at it again w/ the (mostly) non-sexual intimacy
  • I would very much like to discuss soft baths and andreil today bc i had a fucking fantastic bubble bath and i think everyone should have more of them so buckle up my dudes
  • (also we’re operating in a little au in which college dorms have baths bc i do what the fuck i want) 
  • it starts mostly just bc andrew likes to have baths, he likes to sit there for ages in the soapy water and let it relax his muscles after tough training for stupid sports and adds hot water when it gets cold and he is short enough that his whole body can be under water (lucky bastard) 
    • he likes to hold his breath under water and enjoy how everything feels muffled and distant and separate and like nothing else matters for a minute so he usually has baths when he’s having a bad day, with a locked door and soft pyjamas and hot chocolate waiting for when he comes out
  • it also happens in part bc Allison likes two things a lot 
    • 1 - buying things for her friends
    • 2 - lush bath bombs 
  • so she combines this and decides that neil Needs some bath bombs bc we all know this boy is shit at self-care so allison is trying to get him to take actual care of himself bc she is an Excellent friend 
  • one day she comes to visit armed with a bag of lovely smelling stuff, shoves it at neil and tells him to take a fucking bath 
  • neil is sorta stunned (poor boy still isn’t great at accepting gifts but between andrew’s eden’s outfits and allison’s enthusiasm for gift-giving he’s been getting better) and he just sort of mumbles out a thank you and allison gives his cheek a soft pat
  • neil takes them all back to his dorm and lays them all out and smells them all and some are too strong but most of them are so nice and he actually likes the idea of them a lot and makes plans to take an actual bath this weekend for the first time in years 

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About Damn Time

Originally posted by canonspngifs

Anon request: could you please write a dean x reader fic where they end up locked in a confined space together that starts as annoyance but leads to more? and they’ve been hunting together a while but always had an antagonistic/teasing relationship to cover up that they have feelings for each other

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,000

Warnings: SMUT (that’s right, I wrote some smut. Can’t say it’s good, but it’s there) language, mention of death, minor angst, lots of sass

A/N: This is also for @wayward-marvel-sommer1196​‘s sarcastic writing challenge! Sorry I’m a little late - honestly I’m shocked and thrilled it didn’t take longer to finish this. Thanks for the fun challenge, and have a great semester, hun! (my prompt was "Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I keep to myself…" and is in bold)

A/N/N: Look guys, a thing that isn’t firefighter Dean! It’s a miracle!

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the saga of is it a fic or are they headcanons continues.

one | two (THIS ONE!) | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

  • so michelle starts to get buddy buddy with ned and peter, ish.
  • she starts to actually kind of like ned, even if he sometimes puts his foot in his mouth sometimes. but they argue about the merits of comic books as a form of literature and he teaches her some words in tagalog and she learns how to call peter a son of a bitch so she’s pretty entertained.
  • but the weird things just keep piling up with peter.
  • he rushes off at random times, freezes whenever she asks him where he’s going, shows up to school with cuts and bruises looking like he’s been fighting in an underground boxing ring. she even saw him go into the chemistry lab the other day at lunch time even though they both took chemistry last year and he’s taking biology now.
  • he just does really weird things sometimes and michelle can’t help but notice.
  • michelle also can’t help but notice that spiderman is becoming more and more popular. people sell t-shrits, masks, shot glasses, tote bags. everything, basically. and maybe one day michelle might spend a little too much time looking at a t-shirt with a picture of spiderman in all his toned, muscly glory. but she just shakes her head and keeps moving.
  • she gets curious about him, though. where did he come from? who is he? why is he doing this? why did he sound oddly familiar in DC when he saved her friends?
  • and then one day she’s walking home from school after academic decathlon and she missed the bus which is totally her fault for staying later after practice to chat with peter and ned about the upcoming weekend and how their plans to construct a lego version of the starship enterprise were so utterly boring she could barely stand to listen to them. (and weren’t people supposed to choose star wars or star trek? was that not a thing? not that she cares about things peter likes. well, peter AND ned. anyway.)
  • she’s turning a corner when she sees someone out of the corner of her eyes. there is a man on the opposite side of the street walking several yards back from here. it could be nothing. but she’s also been taught to always be on high alert. so she grips her backpack to her body a bit tighter and walks a little faster down the street, cursing herself for not taking the more populated albeit slightly longer route home.
  • she continues down the street when she notices the man cross the street so that he’s on the same side of the road as she and at that point she just starts running. better that he thinks she’s odd if he isn’t following her than be caught if he is trying to catch her. she sprints down the street and turns another corner as she looks back to check if the man is following her and then bam. she’s on the ground, gripping the shoulder that practically crashed into a brick wall.
  • “oh my goodness, are you okay?” she sighs and looks at the owner of the panicked voice and she is left speechless. it’s…well, it’s spiderman.

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anonymous asked:

94 + andreil, bless you

94: “Why are you screaming?” (I incorporated another prompt into this, I hope that’s okay!!)

Neil’s phone rings just as he’s coming in from his run, bringing a whole mess of muddy shoes and misted dew in with him. He zeroes in on Andrew tucked into the couch, the hood up on his sweater and his feet bare. Neil bites his lip so he won’t smile, stepping on his heels so the muck and shoes and socks all come halfway off his feet.

He flips his phone open and wanders over to the couch with it pressed to his ear.

“Hello? Matt?”

“Dan!” Dan crows in his ear. “Via Matt’s phone. But we’re both here. Say hi, Matt.”

“Hi Matt,” Matt’s muffled voice comes from somewhere almost out of range and Neil hears Dan deck him.

“Anyway. Brunch?”

Neil climbs onto the couch and Andrew’s feet curl up when Neil’s wet jacket brushes his ankles.

“It’s 9 AM.”

“And?”

“That’s just breakfast.”

“Okay smartass, no fries for you.”

“Can I bring Andrew?” Neil asks, and he watches hazel eyes sweep from the TV to his face. His stomach jumps, senselessly thrilled.

“Oh,” Dan’s saying. Neil can hear the strangeness creeping into her voice like it always does when he mentions Andrew. That little reminder that Neil is in Andrew’s lot first, and he always was.

Can you bring Andrew?” Andrew says, voice thick from sleep.

“Sure,” Dan decides. “If you don’t think that would be weird.”

“Why would it be weird?” Neil says, knowing perfectly well why it would be weird. Andrew rolls onto his back and his shirt does all sorts of interesting things as he twists.

“Because I hate them,” Andrew says. “And they’re not quite dumb enough to ignore it.”

“I fuckin—” Dan starts, exasperated. “I heard that.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Neil says. “He just doesn’t care.” He puts one hand under Andrew’s hood, up in his hair. His face is a calm sea, but sometimes Neil feels like he can see his reflection in it. Something mildly pleased and unsettled.

“Well come on down to brunch, then,” Dan says sarcastically.

“Give us ten minutes.”

“You don’t have time for a quickie,” Dan says, and Neil can hear Matt laughing in the background.

“Alright, 40 minutes then.”

Dan groans, and Neil’s mouth twitches. “Just get here before dinner,” she laughs, then hangs up.

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anonymous asked:

Im really sorry if im bothering you but what exactly has people thinking klance is dead after this season??

apologies for this because i got carried away and started talking abt keith because i have a lot of feelings abt that boy. short answer: ppl think klance is dead because keith and lance barely interacted in s4, even tho they couldn’t interact much in the first place because obviously keith was gone for most of the season… which is funny because of this. i guess ppl seem to forget that s4 is actually just the rest of s3 so, you really gotta think of these two seasons as ONE season. s4 picks up where s3 left off, albeit with a time skip, it still continues where we left off. it was originally meant to be one season/come out altogether, so it’s best to analyze s4 with everything that happened in s3 fresh in mind because right after we saw keith and lance getting closer/opening up to each other more in s3, keith leaves voltron… and with the release of keith’s vlog and what he said in it, i don’t think we should take this fact with a grain of salt.

let’s go back to s3ep6, namely the bedroom scene and what follows. when lance says that maybe he should step aside, keith’s reaction seems to be a mixture of shock, confusion, sadness, and concern. if nothing else, i’m certain that he felt confusion (”what are you talking about?”) and shock. i think it’s safe to assume that sadness/concern played a part in it because we all know that before this scene happened, lance had been keith’s biggest source of support in shiro’s absence. he became his voice of reason and they connected so much. lauren montgomery even called lance keith’s stability. imo, it’s clear that by this point, keith is at least SOMEWHAT attached to lance and that is smth we shouldn’t take lightly because keith canonically has issues with that/connecting with people in general. in keith’s eyes, lance has become irreplaceable not only on a personal level but in regards to voltron/the team, as well. lance helped keith, but he has always been there to lift his teammates up, support them, and bring the best out of them. no matter what, keith knows lance is important. 

then, seemingly out of nowhere, lance says he thinks he should step down as a paladin. this scene is followed up by keith offering to stay back during a mission, trying to give up the black lion to shiro yet still not taking red back from lance even though lance said he’d want to. he even told lance that “things would work themselves out,” which i always figured was just because of him staying back at the castleship and not taking red from lance in the next mission, but in light of the events of s4, it brings abt the question: was he already planning on leaving back then? was that line foreshadowing for what was to come? who knows, think of it what you will. anyways, the point is, keith has always been bad with words, which we’re reminded of during the bedroom scene, and he’s mainly an action person, as we see in the follow-up scene. these scenes were put basically back to back so we could make this connection, i’m sure of that. of course, the black lion doesn’t let shiro in (hopefully, lance is aware of what keith tried to do), causing the “too many paladins, not enough lions” issue to be pushed aside for now. the ep ends with keith admitting to shiro that he’s “not good at this [being the leader]” and s3ep7 is abt the paladins of old.

in s4, we skip ahead at least a couple months which leaves a lot of room for speculation as to what happened during that time. remember, these two seasons were originally one season. obviously, every season is connected lol but these two should be viewed as ONE and i cannot stress the importance of that enough. the last time we saw keith in s3ep6, he had some real shit on his mind. he expressed doubts abt being the leader, he doesn’t feel like he can be the leader voltron needs and he’s definitely ALWAYS thinking abt that. another thing he had on his mind was the “too many paladins, not enough lions” issue, which boils down to lance expressing doubts abt his place on the team to keith. then, on top of all that, we have the information that he pushes people away before they can reject/leave him. he’s got a lot on his plate. i think during this time skip, he started to push the team away because now that he’s attached to lance, it’s only a matter of time before he gets attached to everyone else (or he already is) and he’s probably fucking terrified. his solution? he starts training with the blade of marmora, probably spending most of his time with them during that time skip as suggested by many scenes in s4ep1, and as a result: he starts drifting away from everyone. basically, s3ep6 made some things very apparent to me: 

1) keith is fully aware of the fact that there’s one paladin too many.
2) keith values what lance brings to the team more than he values what he brings to the team. in general, i think he just values lance + everyone else on the team more than he values himself. he is expendable, but they are not.
3) keith doesn’t want to lead voltron, he thinks he’s no good at it. 

and in s4ep1, keith pretty much addressed all of this:
1) he’s leaving, so the team has five paladins + five lions again.
2) just like in s3ep6, keith doesn’t ask for the red lion back. this locks in lance’s position on the team (tho i think he’ll go on to pilot black/keith will go back to red but i’m not gonna go into that rn bc i already have/will again in the future).
3) keith doesn’t have to lead voltron anymore.

i definitely think lance coming to keith with his worries/insecurities abt his place on the team is ONE of the many reasons keith stepped aside. i’m not saying this with shipping goggles on, i’m not even talking abt this because of romantic klance, really. i’m more so analyzing keith as a character. i’m not saying it was the MAIN reason because it very obviously wasn’t. keith is clearly dealing with plenty of his own shit but i think this played a PART in it (even if it’s tiny) because that’s what the narrative is telling me; that’s how it seems to be set up. if s4 and s3 were left together like they were originally meant to be, s4ep1 would have been watched pretty much right after s3ep6 with the bedroom scene, and ep7 was a flashback episode of the paladins of old. i genuinely think it’s safe to make this connection. at this point, you have to be a full blown fool to think that keith doesn’t care abt lance (and vice versa) because it’s obvious that he does. so, you can’t tell me that he didn’t ONCE think abt what lance said while making the decision to leave. the main reason i cannot help but make the connection to the bedroom scene is BECAUSE it’s all lined up perfectly. you don’t even have to take this in a shipping way, just as keith obviously giving a crap abt lance and valuing what he brings to the team more than what he, himself, does.

i think this is smth keith NEEDS to do at the current time… after all, he chose to do it. that being said, i don’t think he’ll be staying with the blade forever. this is a part of his arc and by doing this, i think he’s going to end up learning more abt his heritage/mother. i also think it needed to happen bc i believe it’s part of keith’s overall journey with team voltron, in which he learns/accepts just how much they mean to him and that he needs to stop pushing them away. clearly, keith DOES want to leave for certain reasons but i still think it was a hard decision for him to make since he DOES care abt the team, even if he’s trying to distance himself as to not get hurt. i’m 100% sure a part of him DOESN’T want to leave at all, but we must keep in mind who keith is. i think this heavily ties in with his abandonment issues and the fact that he literally said that he pushes people away rather than letting them into his life because he fears rejection (seriously, i don’t think his vlog being released before s4 was a coincidence). 

to sum it up, i think keith is dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions on the inside, which is supported by the shots we get of him while he’s leaving:

they wouldn’t animate this for NO REASON. his smile falters and continues to as he turns away. he’s NOT happy. i think one of the reasons he goes to the blade is because he’s the kind of person who HAS to have smth to focus on/pour himself into. he needs smth to fight for, he doesn’t want to sit on the sidelines. he doesn’t want to feel lost again or useless. another reason is because it’s really the only connection he has to his past. this boy so desperately wants a sense of belonging but now, logically and realistically speaking, he doesn’t have a place on team voltron because he’s not a paladin. so, he goes with the blade of marmora because he believes that’s the place he’ll be the most useful. he also sees himself as expendable, and unfortunately, that fits PERFECTLY with the blade’s beliefs. the real kicker is that because he’s spent so much time with team voltron, he doesn’t see others as expendable anymore.

leaving to work with the blade is the perfect getaway for keith because while it IS abt the mission and gives him smth to focus on, it also allows him to push the team away and distance himself from them. in s3, keith connected with the team more but notably the most with lance. in s4ep1, lance—despite being keith’s main source of support/voice of reason throughout the entirety of s3—doesn’t confront keith 1-on-1 abt being off with the blade so much/pulling away from the team. i thought this was very odd given their development in s3, BUT it does make sense since obviously, they want keith to have this BOM arc and if lance had been the one to confront him? had he tried to get him to stay? logically, with where they’re at in canon, keith may have listened to lance, but they want to do this BOM arc for a reason. we wouldn’t be getting these narratives if keith had stayed (i also think this is setting up for clone!shiro and bp!lance). 

imo i think one of the reasons shiro and allura were unable to convince him to stay was because they were virtually asking him to because it’s his “duty,” his “role,” his “responsibility” as the leader of the team, therefore he is obligated to stay for that reason. allura does tell him “we cannot [go on without you],” but it’s the fact that before saying that she says voltron cannot go on without him; she first and foremost makes it abt his position within voltron. at this point, keith felt that he wasn’t useful to the team, at least not to the extent that he is when he’s working with the blade. even though he was the pilot of the black lion, i think that ever since shiro came back (despite black not accepting him at first), keith saw that he was very much back in that leadership position, so he figured that it was only a matter of time before he reconnected with black. keith was starting to drift away elsewhere because even though he was piloting black, he never viewed himself as the leader and he was not confident in his abilities regarding leading the team. he may have piloted black, but he was never really a leader in the deeper sense. lance more so took that role in s3 in shiro’s absence by being the one to truly keep the team together. while keith DID have leadership moments—all of which i think happened after lance helped to guide him, anyways—at the end of the day, he was just the one piloting the black lion. we all know that keith is not leadership material, he knows that himself and he has never wanted to be the leader. he never TRULY accepted that role for himself.

keith leaving the team is a bit concerning because his motives have never really changed, he puts the mission over himself and he thinks abt the greater good of the universe. he even used to be fine with leaving others behind, which has changed. but now, that first part is kind of a HUGE problem. in s2, thace tells keith “as a member of voltron you have a bigger mission,” and ulaz also says in s2 that “voltron is too valuable” before sacrificing himself. thace is explaining why he needs to stay in order to save the mission and why keith needs to leave… he’s a paladin and he is important, he is essential. but now, keith is no longer a paladin of voltron and therefore, believes he is—in the long run, in the grand scheme of things—not needed. he’s superfluous. he’s not essential to forming voltron anymore, he has no reason to stay alive so he will certainly try to sacrifice himself for the greater good… as he did in s4ep6, which gave me a literal panic attack btw. thace and ulaz prioritize the mission over themselves and the individual, that is the way of the blade of marmora and it is not a mindset that keith should be so exposed to. “knowledge or death” is not a motto that he should be exposed to because he takes everything literally. the fact that he is no longer a paladin of voltron has proven, to KEITH, that he can be replaced and it’s not good for his mental state. the blade sacrifices themselves left and right for the mission and they leave people behind. we can see that from keith’s time with team voltron, their ideals have rubbed off on him and he doesn’t want to leave people behind, as shown in s4ep1. but keith has never and still doesn’t apply this to himself, even more so now. from an objective standpoint, the fact of the matter is that keith has seen that he isn’t vital to voltron anymore. now that shiro is back in black, they can continue on without him. for keith, this is not a case of whether people WANT that to happen or how they’re going to feel abt it. he probably doesn’t even realize just how much team voltron cares abt him.

while keith has been told something akin to “we need you” before, you need to look at the context of those situations. i’m pretty sure that every time people have told him they need him, it’s tied to the mission/voltron. both of the times this season, when he was told EXPLICITLY that he’s needed, were when voltron was concerned. even tho there’re implications of it being more personal, it was rooted in the mission/voltron and that alone is probably what keith hears. i mean, given how he is/how he operates, it’s not a surprise that he’s tied his worth to this. keith isn’t a paladin anymore and that’s why his choice in s4ep6 was painfully logical for him to make, especially because he’s seen others within the blade of marmora do it before and now he’s a member. the universe NEEDS voltron, but realistically and logically speaking, the universe doesn’t NEED keith (that is his mindset). in the literal sense right now, voltron is able to continue without him. back in s1, keith was right when it was abt pidge because without her, they would have been short a lion and there was no proof anybody else could pilot green, therefore voltron would’ve been inoperable. but with keith leaving, he states it himself: they CAN do it, they CAN form voltron and complete the bigger mission without him. nobody questions him on that or tells him otherwise because it’s TRUE and they support his decision to go with the blade because they want him to be happy, they want him to do what he thinks is best.

one of the problems here is that no one knows abt his abandonment issues and the like. if anyone does, it’d be shiro… but i think we all agree that shiro isn’t our shiro. now that i bring it up, that may be yet another reason why keith is distancing himself from the team. while i don’t think keith suspects that shiro is a clone or anything like that (because he wouldn’t just leave the team with a fucking clone), he probably feels that smth is off. his beloved brother figure is not acting the same and he’s HAD to have picked up on it, even just a little. while he has had his moment, shiro has been cold, pushy, and inconsiderate towards keith A LOT throughout s3-s4. s3-s4 shiro is very contrasting with s1-s2 shiro. s2 shiro did not even approve of the way the blade of marmora did things, so it’s very strange to me that he’d let keith go chill with them for who knows how long with next to no care in the world, especially because he knows how keith is, too. he knows keith doesn’t give up, he goes all in, he has no concerns for his well-being, etc. s3-s4 shiro eerily reminds me of the hologram!shiro back in s2ep8.

as i said, i think it’s necessary for keith to be with the blade for a bit in order to further his character arc and such (and to bring abt other things within team voltron)… but the blade of marmora is not good for him. there, he is completely disposable and the rest of the members think the same. he’s not surrounded by people who love him like he was in team voltron, and at the end of the day, that is NOT what keith needs. it’s the opposite. he already thinks he’s disposable and the ideals of the blade of marmora are just hammering it in. at the start, even when he was still piloting red, he thought he was replaceable. when allura and keith ran off in s2, keith had no intention of coming back despite being the red paladin… he packed a bag. it’s not until after he undergoes the trials of marmora and awakens his blade that keith seemed to leave that line of thinking behind because he accepted himself as being part of voltron… but now he’s not a paladin anymore, so that flew out the window. his purpose is gone.

keith needs, above all else, someone to tell him that they need him. not him as in Keith, the Leader, and not him as in Keith, the Paladin. no, just him. just Keith. it can’t be rooted in anything else. it can’t start off with “voltron needs you,” it has to start and end with him just being needed because it’s him. it can’t be because VOLTRON needs him. he needs to hear that his FRIENDS need him, his family needs him. he needs to hear that he’s irreplaceable to his friends for the sole reason that he’s KEITH. i think he has a hard time even fathoming the idea that people need him simply for him, and that they really, truly want him around. no strings attached, just him. not his role on the team, not what he offers to the table… just who he is, his presence and his friendship. so, someone needs to be forthright with it and lay it out as plain as day for him to see.

with the rate things are going/how they’ve been set up, who the hell is a better fit to do that than lance? the most emotionally intelligent person on the team, which is acknowledged at least a little by everyone else since they all looked to him to comfort keith in s3ep1? the only one on the team to have really started some sort of relationship with keith from the get-go? the only one who seems to interact with/talk to him abt things that DON’T have to do with voltron/the mission/his galra heritage, but rather, just for the sake of interacting with him, even if it was based on the “rivalry”? the one who was there for keith the most all throughout s3, enough to be coined as his stability by a showrunner? the one who has been shown to be very good at getting through to keith? now, i’m not saying that shiro will be revealed as a clone, which causes lance to take over as black paladin and leader, this leading him to convince keith to come back and be the red paladin again—his right-hand man—but that’s exactly what i’m saying.

Keeping Your End of the Bargain

I promised I’d give you all another Dark fic when we reached our next milestone, and I always keep my promises. 

Just a quick warning- this is not fluff. It’s not romance. It’s not a sympathetic portrayal. This man is a manipulator, a good one, and he does what he does to further his own interests. He enjoys control, not company. And, to use Mark’s own words:

He is not here to help you. He is here to use you.

Enjoy.

Originally posted by wrcngchcice


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anonymous asked:

If you do requests can you please do a Mike Faist x reader (if you don't do cast can you do Connor Murphy) where they play 7 minutes in heaven

this was originally going to be short but i got carried tf away and now it’s 3800+ words SO
i have never done connor so like i KNOW this is going to be wildly out of character???? I JSUT RLLY LIKE SEEING CONNOR HEALTHY AND HAPPY IM SORRY SO let’s see how i Fuck this up


this is……….. probably not what u requested 

connor x fem!reader - seven minutes in heaven

Seeing Jared Kleinman and Evan Hansen at a party was a wonderful rarity. Seeing Connor at a party was even crazier. But seeing Connor at a party, enjoying himself with friends and not angrily smoking a joint in the corner of the living room until the host kicked him out? It was nearly unheard of. It was borderline impossible. And it simply made your heart swell.

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anonymous asked:

what happens after they both figure it out??? do they pine they definitely pine but??? more hcs please? i love you

i love you too dear anon this is for you

  • i’m not sure entirely how it would first go, but i imagine they’re laying around and keith is really intensely playing with lance’s fingers (like really intensely he looks like he’s trying to x-ray vision them u ok there buddy?) 
    • and lance is just watching him and it hits him full force his heart literally starts aching and he just pulls his hand away 
    • keith is confused for a second and kind of like :’( until lance cradles his jaw and says in a slightly trembling voice “can i kiss you right now?” 
    • the answer is yes 
  • they try to hide it for a while because they’re afraid it might mess up the team dynamic 
    • except they try hiding it by not touching each other as much,, which is when they realize how much they were touching each other and they’re both like “how did we even go this long without realizing?” 
    • shiro eventually asks if something is wrong between them because he notices they’re standing apart a lot (on a separate note have you noticed how often these two are standing next to each other in canon it’s like they’re drawn to each other i’m fjdsal;k)  
    • keith, smooth as ever, just blurts out “I KISSED HIM” 
    • shiro is a little surprised but he just smiles softly and is like “that’s great, keith. i already thought you had, though?”
    • keith: did EVERYONE know except us???  
  • they’re teenagers you know,, so they’re always all over each other
    • keith’s hair is literally always a mess
    • sometimes it’s braided but it half falls apart because lance can’t stop running his hands through his hair when they’re kissing
    • keith, mumbling into lance’s mouth: you’re ruining your work 
    • lance: worth it 
    • someone knocks on the door once and they scramble to put their shirts on and open it like “hey, nothing interesting happening here!” except,, they’re wearing the wrong shirts,, a mess 
    • or,, hunk, peering at keith’s neck very closely: dude, what are those purple marks? are you ok? they look like bruises? 
    • keith, flustered and tugging at his collar: NOTHING IT S NOTHING just my… galra genes!!! yeah!! my galra-ness kicking in!! you know how it is!! 
  • lance unabashedly flirting over the coms
  • they’re literally so sappy and cheesy all the time. they’re that couple that has an entire conversation using eye contact and forgets to explain what’s going on to the rest of the team  
  • lance pretty much moves in keith’s bedroom. keith pretty much steals all his shirts and doesn’t have to feel guilty about it anymore (he had like 5 already and when lance finds them he won’t leave him alone about it) 
  • thank youu