i'm sorry i just have a lot of pull up feels

i say “i’m seeing a therapist” and he takes a step backwards. why he wants to know. what happened. what made me like this, basically. what was the final step that pushed me safely into the side of scary people like them.

there’s a lot i think about. like how my illnesses effect me outside of the actual symptoms. like beyond the weight there’s a second river to drown in.

i mean we don’t talk about having to stare at employment papers where they ask you to self-identify your problems. that little bead of sweat that forms when you worry - what if i don’t tell them and i need help? what if i tell them and they think i’m a risk factor? what if they won’t give me the job?

we don’t talk about the way some people act when they find out. the ones who are rude about it are one thing. but then there’s those people you thought were your friends who act like you just told them you’re infectious. who become weird and distant and suspicious like a switch flipped. like if they get to close to you, you’ll give it to them.

we learn to be okay with things we overhear on the bus but we never get used to it coming out of the mouth of the people we love. we carry this secret with us like a rotted fruit, clutching it to our bodies. we’re ashamed of our scars in front of our boss. we don’t talk about our panic attacks during lunch breaks. when the cop pulls you over “i’m disassociating” isn’t an excuse we can open the page on. when you watch people make these ranting posts about how real friends always text back, how if someone loves you, they’ll find the time to spend. success stories make other people cry with inspiration while some part of your brain is saying you can’t do that, you’re not like them. things are uglier at the bottom. you can’t explain why you can’t just make friends. you can’t write because you’re depressed but when you’re depressed you write best. you can’t eat today and no don’t ask why please. nevermind taking the train. never mind trying to be happy. never mind reading books and watching movies and wondering where exactly are people like you in hero stories. i watch a video where a man tells me that being depressed is just a mindset. when i wear all black someone remarks i look particularly emo today. it’s 2017 does anyone say emo anymore, i ask her, and she laughs, “you just look like one of those fake-depressed girls.” okay.  

i don’t tell him my therapist is actually why things don’t happen anymore. why i’m getting a handle on it. my tongue feels swollen. i feel embarrassed talking about it. in the highest twist of irony, i think of how many people know my problems anonymously on the internet. i almost spill out all my troubles onto him. instead i tell him it’s just a precaution. that i think everyone should really see a therapist, they’re brain mechanics and we all need a tune-up now and then. he relaxes.

okay. okay. i’m sorry i’m one of them.

anonymous asked:

I know we're all dead but can we talk about how cute it was that he said thank you when she took her top off? And how intimate that moment was when he just took a second to look at her, to breathe her in, to confirm that this was really happening? Cause of death: Olicity.

Oliver was the perfect gentleman throughout that entire scene. 

Starting from the beginning, he was… everything. He was a man who was clearly still in love with this woman, but he’d also heard her last season when she said she was, for all intents and purposes, done. He was a man who was willing to get every tiny scrap of her natural sunlight, no matter what the cost for himself. Y’all are lying to yourselves if Felicity wasn’t doing exactly what Curtis suggested when the idea of her trying the salmon ladder came about. She’s all cute and flirty and doing something that shows a lot of skin, and yet, the entire time, Oliver was just so sweet. He didn’t push it, he didn’t take what are pretty obvious signs, he didn’t do anything without her explicit permission and direction. They went through two bottles of wine, my friends, they were quite a few sheets to the wind and still, he was the perfect gentleman. Even when she asked him to help her down, when he grabbed her waist, when he held her close, letting her down gently, cradling her like she’s the most important thing in his entire world (she is)…

(src)

He was just… 

(src)

… so Oliver and so respectful and I loved it so much.

But then it gets better.

Felicity finally makes the first move, she kisses him and remember the way he responded? 

(src)

(wow they kiss really well like damn well done a+)

He gives it his all because that’s all he wants to give her. He messed up so much in the past, and while the source of those issues are deeply buried and require a fucking bulldozer to unearth, it doesn’t change that it effectively ruined the best thing in his life. But now, now he has her back and it’s everything. Yes, the wine has stripped their inhibitions, but it just scratched off the surface, revealing what they’ve always, always wanted.

(src)

(src)

(This was cute af, anon, I so agree. He’s so totally getting swept up in the sensation of having her in his arms again, of kissing her, tasting her, feeling her, and it’s intoxicating. It takes over everything, leaving no room for anything but continuing to feel those wonderful things. We see that in the way he suddenly spins her, with so much intent, so much purpose - I know I’m not the only one who thought that was going somewhere else - but then he’s so painfully gentle with her. He could absolutely rip her sweater to pieces if he wanted to and he knew she probably wouldn’t complain one bit until later, but he didn’t, because remember, this is the Oliver who has been in love with this woman forever and he lost her and he’s been respecting her wishes in not pursuing a relationship and suddenly she’s here and she’s with him, but that doesn’t change where they are mentally, where he’s at mentally. (Wow, tangent.) It’s marked with that soft, adorable smile of his - that happy smile of his - and the way he says, “Thank you.” It’s really as if he’s thanking her for giving them this chance again.)

And then…

(src)

The passion is back, brimming over, all-consuming, burning them from the insides out, taking over everything, pulling them together like the magnets that they are…

But that’s not all it’s about, not quite. It’s about that, oh yes, but it’s also about connecting again, not just physically but emotionally and mentally, with their very souls. This isn’t just physical for Oliver, nor is it for Felicity, which is what he needs to double check, he needs to see, to make sure that… 

Well, that this is happening, that it’s what he thinks it is, that she’s on the same page, that she wants this, that she wants it as badly as he does, that she’s doing it for the same reasons, that… 

(src)

(the way he whispers her name, a gasp, a breathless plea… a prayer…)

He has to make sure. He has to. One, because it’s Oliver and when it comes to Felicity, there’s never been a halfway. 

Which is so very interesting considering what happened tonight - thinking about it from Oliver’s perspective, he honestly thought he was giving Felicity everything he could. He didn’t know at the time that he was only giving half of himself, only giving her the pieces he felt worthy of her, not realizing that he was hiding things from her, all under the guise of trying to protect her, in his own warped way. He has been broken, in his mind, for so long, but it’s only when he’s whole within himself that he can finally be with her, which we’re finally seeing, thank goodness.

He’s all in or he’s all out and he needs to know that Felicity is there with him.

(src)

But not a simple “Are you sure this is what you want,” no, it’s more than that.

(src)

It’s about them, and their love for each other.

(src)

And there it is. She’s right there with him, her love for him shining through, bathing him in its purity, a cleansing feeling that shines light in the darkest corners of his being (even if he doesn’t recognize it until much much much later). 

Cause of death: Olicity 

Indeed, anon. Indeed.

anonymous asked:

Hello!! Can I ask for a friend zoned MC feeling unrequited love to the RFA + V & Unknown which ends in a "I like you god damn it" confession?? And they like you back?? Thank youuuu (: I love your blog btw

Author’s note: sorry this is so rushed I have to post Saeran/V’s separate bc this is so long || So some of these aren’t as much confessions as they are cute, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM NONETHELESS ♥

Yoosung

  • “To the left, MC!!!! NO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!”
  • You smashed the buttons of your controller down, hoping something good would happen
  • I have no idea what I’m doing.
  • “Uhh, Yoosung?”
  • “Hmm?”
  • “I think I just died.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • You set your controller down and glanced over at your best friend
  • His eyes were glued to the screen, tongue sticking slightly out just like it always does when he’s focused on something
  • The light from the monitor flashed white and Yoosung jerked forward, causing your knees to collide
  • You felt your face heat up at the skin on skin connection
  • “A-Ah, Yoosung?”
  • “Not now, MC, I think I can win this!!”
  • Yoosung leaned over in front of you, trying to get a better angle of the screen
  • You got a whiff of Yoosung’s shampoo and your heart skipped a beat 
  • I don’t know how he smells this good after playing video games all day.
  • You involuntarily reached out and ran your fingers through his hair
  • “…So soft.”
  • For a second you though you felt Yoosung leaning into your touch
  • But that’s probably my imagination…
  • The screen flashed again and Yoosung turned around to look at you
  • He was still leaning over on your side, your faces now inches apart
  • “I won!”
  • Yoosung gave you a close eyed smile
  • That damn smile.
  • When you didn’t respond to him, Yoosung frowned
  • “What’s wrong, MC?”
  • “…”
  • Screw it.
  • You summoned every ounce of strength you had and closed the gap between his lips and yours
  • Before Yoosung could react, you pulled away
  • “U-Uhhh,” you looked at Yoosung’s bright red face, “Congrats on the win?”
  • Do it!! Tell him how you feel!
  • “Yoosung, I-“
  • “M-Me too.”

Zen

  • It was just another average friend date with Zen
  • You, him, a small bistro, hundreds of fans all begging to get a picture with him
  • Just a normal day
  • “Zen, over here!!!”
  • “Sorry about the flash, I just HAVE to make sure it’s a good picture.”
  • “Are you stupid??? ALL of Zen’s pictures are good!”
  • You turned to look at your friend, who was soaking up as much of the limelight as possible
  • This dork…
  • He stood up and tapped on his glass with a fork
  • “Ladies, ladies, you can all get a picture with your Zenny, just be patient!”
  • “Since when are you theirs?” you mumbled, crossing your arms
  • Zen glanced back at you
  • Crap, did he hear me?
  • You gave him a big smile and a thumbs up
  • That ought to throw him off his tracks.
  • Zen turned back to the sea of fans
  • “I’ll be outside in ten minutes, so if everyone could make a line outside, that would be perfect!”
  • In the blink of an eye the restaurant was empty again, a flood of screaming girls and guys retreating outside to wait for their prince
  • A sigh of relief escaped your lips as Zen sat down
  • “Are you mad at me?”
  • You looked down at your food and began messing with it
  • “Don’t play with your food, MC.”
  • “Okay, mom.”
  • He sighed, “If you aren’t going to answer my question I’ll just go outside right now.”
  • Zen put his hands on the table and started to push himself up
  • “W-Wait.”
  • You grabbed his arm and pulled him back down
  • “I’m not mad at you,” you sighed, “I’m just mad that we never get to spend time together like we used to.”
  • Zen put his hand on top of yours and leaned in toward you
  • “What do you mean? I see you all the time up at work!!”
  • You stared at his hand
  • He’s touching me.
  • He’s holding my hand.
  • ZEN is holDING MY FREAKING-
  • “MC???”
  • You awkwardly coughed and pulled your hand away
  • “Y-Yeah, uh no… what were we talking about?”
  • Zen leaned back in his chair
  • “Never mind… let’s just eat.”
  • He lifted up his glass of water to his lips
  • Those lips…
  • “I love you.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • “DAMNIT ZEN!”
  • You pushed away from the table and stood up
  • “You spit all over my shirt,” you gestured down to the wet material that clung to your chest, “my WHITE shirt!!’
  • “W-Well you said that you… you love me.”
  • “Ah… that.”
  • And all of sudden, the floor became veryyyyy interesting
  • I wish I had the power of invisibility…
  • “MC, look at me.”
  • While you were contemplating superpowers, Zen had taken the time to walk over and stand in front of you
  • “Nah, I think I’m good,” you continued looking down, “the floor happens to be my favorite shade of… brown.”
  • A soft and warm hand tilted your chin up, and your eyes met his scarlet ones
  • “I love you too.”
  • You slowly leaned in-
  • “ZENNY, WE’RE WAITING~”
  • Offff course.
  • Zen stepped back and glanced at the girl peeking through the front door
  • There was the click of a camera and a squeal, and she was gone again
  • Zen scratched the back of his head
  • “Sorry, I guess it’s-whoa whoa WHOA, what are you doing????
  • You flung your wet shirt over the back of the chair and shivered
  • “Man, this place is kinda cold,” you looked up and smirked, “then again, I am wearing just a bra.”
  • You heard a very inhumane noise come from the back of Zen’s throat
  • “The fans can wait.”
  • Zen grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest, his lips crashing against yours
  • The beast was NOT contained that night

Jaehee

  • On your way out of the RFA building you glanced at your watch
  • Damn… it’s already 11pm? I stayed waaaaayyyy too late.
  • When you walked past the break room you heard the familiar sound of the copy machine clunking turning on
  • “…damn Jumin and his damn reports-“
  • I wonder if that’s…
  • “-with his damn cat and the damn cat wine.”
  • Yup, that’s Jaehee.
  • You peeked in the room and watched as she stuffed a stack of papers into the copy tray
  • She wiped her hands on her skirt and sat in the chair next to the whirring machine
  • “You should go talk to her.”
  • “WhAT THE-“
  • Seven put a hand over your mouth and pulled you away from the door
  • Jaehee glanced up and sighed
  • “Anyone there?”
  • Seven removed his hand and you lowered your voice to a whisper
  • “What the hell do you want?”
  • He glanced at the breakroom and then back to you, giving you his famous ‘I have an idea that could go horribly wrong or perfectly right’ look
  • “Good luck,” was all he said before grabbing you and harshly shoving you in the breakroom
  • “WAIT-”
  • But it was too late
  • In a flash the redhead was gone, and you were alone with Jaehee
  • She looked up and smiled
  • “MC? I didn’t know you were here so late! It’s nice to have some company.”
  • You stared at her, unsure of what to say
  • S-So cute…
  • “U-Uhh, yeah…”
  • Jaehee stood up and stretched, letting out a tiny yawn
  • “How much longer does Jumin have you here?”
  • She picked up the warm copies from the tray and leaned up against the machine
  • “I just have to run this back to his office and I’m done! At least, until he inevitably calls me at midnight asking for more cat food…”
  • You walked with her to Jumin’s office, continuing to listen to her rant about his late night antics
  • When the two of you finally got there, she plopped the papers in a box outside the door
  • “H-Hey, Jaehee?”
  • She glanced over at you
  • “Hmm?”
  • “You wanna go grab some late night coffee? Since, you know, Jumin should be calling you in about,” you checked your watch, “30 minutes.”
  • “Sure!! That’s exactly the pick me up I need, a nice little friend date!”
  • Hold up.
  • “…Friend date?”
  • “Yeah, I was thinking-”
  • “I like you. A lot.”
  • Jaehee stopped and turned to you
  • “A-As a friend?”
  • You stepped closer, “More than a friend.”
  • Her eyes widened and a deep blush spread across her cheeks
  • “Oh…”
  • “Oh?”
  • You felt your heart break in two
  • She doesn’t feel the same… dammit, this is why you never fall in love with a straight girl.
  • Tiny hands wrapped around your own, causing you to look back up
  • Jaehee had a soft smile spread across her lips
  • “Me too… a-about the not friend thing.”
  • Her gripped tightened, “Not that I don’t consider you a friend! I’m just, well, what I’m trying to say, or rather, what want to say-”
  • “Would you two KISS ALREADY???”
  • Both of your heads snapped in the direction of the voice
  • “Seven, whyyyyy are you still here?”
  • “Still?”
  • “Yeah, he was here earlier when-”
  • “-When I set you guys up!”
  • As you and Seven began arguing, Jaehee looked between the two of you and sighed
  • She interlocked fingers with you and pulled you away
  • “Sorry, Luciel, but we have a date to get to.”
  • You stuck your tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes
  • “Whatever… have fun you two love birdddssss!!”
  • You looked over at Jaehee and smiled
  • Oh, we will.

Jumin

  • Dammit, he closed the blinds.
  • You rolled your chair closer and angled your head in an attempt to see into Jumin’s office again
  • “Peeping tom much?
  • “Shut it.”
  • Zen sighed and leaned up against your desk
  • “I still don’t understand what you see in him.”
  • You rolled your eyes and looked over at Zen
  • “You promised you’d be supportive-
  • “-And I am,” he held up his hands in surrender, “I just think you could do better.”
  • “What? Like date you?”
  • “Well, not that much better.”
  • Zen smirked and you playfully hit him in the stomach
  • Within the next second the two of you burst out laughing
  • “Wow,” you wiped a tear from your eye, “I don’t even know why that was so funny.”
  • “Me neith-”
  • “MC,” Jumin’s voice boomed, “Can I see you in my office?”
  • Zen raised his eyebrows and pushed himself off your desk
  • “Good luck,” he glanced back, “with him, you’ll need it.”
  • You rolled your eyes and stood up, cringing when your knees made a loud pop
  • Could my body, like, not embarrass me? No? Alllllllrighty.
  • You walked into the room and Jumin closed the door behind him
  • “So, what’s up?”
  • Jumin turned around and sighed
  • “I believe some… congratulations are in order.”
  • Huh?
  • “Did I get a raise?”
  • Jumin chuckled, taking one big step toward you
  • “No, I’m talking about you and Zen.”
  • …Huh?
  • “I’m a little lost… what do you mean-”
  • “Your relationship. Are you not romantically involved with each other?”
  • “Huh?”
  • Said that one out loud this time…
  • You mentally kicked yourself, “Zen and I are just friends.”
  • “Just friends?”
  • “Purely platonic.”
  • Jumin scratched his chin, completely lost in thought
  • You took a deep breath
  • Here goes everything nothing.
  • “…I actually have my eye on someone else.”
  • Jumin snapped back into reality
  • “Who? If that, well, if it isn’t too much to ask.”
  • Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap-
  • “Is it really not Zen?”
  • Oh my god.
  • “You know,” you grabbed his tie, “you’re pretty clueless for a CEO.”
  • In one gentle tug, your lips connected with his
  • After a few seconds, Jumin pulled away
  • “So, it’s me then?”
  • You shook your head and grinned
  • “Of course, you-“
  • Jumin’s lips crashed on to yours again,his hands cupping your face
  • And let’s just say you were now very thankful for the closed blinds

Seven

  • “Wrench.”
  • “WRENCH!”
  • “Screwdriver.”
  • “SCREWDRIVER!!”
  • You grabbed the two tools from Seven’s hand
  • “You know, you don’t have to repeat everything I say.”
  • “Repeat everything I-OUCH! MC, why’d you kick meeee?”
  • Seven hugged his shin and hopped up and down
  • I’m surprised he has this much energy at 2 in the morning….
  • You looked back up at Seven, who had miraculously gotten over his bruised shin and was chugging a can of Dr. Pepper
  • …Who am I kidding, he never sleeps anyways.
  • It had been about an hour since Seven called you asking for help fixing his chair
  • You had gone to the furniture store IKEA anyone??? with him earlier that day and actually took the time to READ the damn manual
  • Anddddd, done!”
  • You clapped your hands together and smiled
  • “Wanna test it out?”
  • Seven gave you a mischievous grin
  • “Don’t mind if I do!”
  • Before you knew it, Seven grabbed your waist and pulled you into his lap, causing both of you to fall back into the chair
  • It creaked under the combined weight of you and Seven, but surprisingly remained stable
  • “Hey, you really did fix it!!”
  • Seven began spouting off nonsense about how crappy it was earlier, but you were too busy thinking about the fact that you were sitting
  • In his lap
  • INCHES away from his face
  • He’s so warm…
  • “-Plus, it kept making weird noises! I’m so glad you came over tonight.”
  • “Mmhmm.”
  • “Uh, earth to MC?? Agent 707 calling, can you read me??”
  • You shook you head, zoning back in
  • Seven sighed, relaxing back into the chair
  • “Thank God Seven you’re okay… I can’t have my best friend dying on me… literally,” Seven chuckled at his own joke
  • I love that little laugh.
  • “Dammit…”
  • Seven looked back at you
  • “What’s on your mind, MC?”
  • “You.”
  • DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
  • “W-What?”
  • Here we go.
  • “Seven, I like you.”
  • “You mean,” Seven furrowed his brows, “You like me, or you like-like me?”
  • You rolled your eyes, how old is he again??
  • “You’re so ridiculous.”
  • Seven looked at you patiently
  • “I like-like you.”
  • You felt lips lightly press on the back of your neck
  • “Well that’s not fair,” Seven tightened his grip on your waist, “because I love-love you.”

a friendly reminder that no matter how many bad books we read there’ll always be soc a.k.a the true masterpiece of our time which is like a safe blanket for murder babies and you can throw it over your head and pretend you’re on your way to a big heist or smth equally dangerous (but exciting) :’) and while you’re dreaming of $$$kruge$$$ you might also wanna remember that soc has:

- a bi poc character who didn’t dance around the term hgtawm style and pull some lame explanation out of his ass ala ‘it’s complicated’ but he actually said ‘not just girls’ so yeah confirmed bi poc who’s a KNOWN flirt and everybody praises him for it instead of mocking/shunning him honestly what did we do to deserve jesper fahey
- a disabled gang leader who’s literally thE BADDEST BARREL BOSS TO EVER WALK THE STREETS OF KETTERDAM caw caw bitches (he also has severe ptsd, panic attacks, suffers from traumatic flashbacks and experiences nausea and all kinds of ptsd symptoms everytime he (even accidentally) touches someone but does that limit or stop him in any way?? HELL NO MOFOS here comes kaz brekker with his crow cane and he’s about to whoop some ass better beware)
- a beautiful, amazing, talented, showstopping, spectacular, never the same woc who is basically?? everyone’s treasure, heart, love, most cherished person ever, role model, etc. etc. and it’s only right tbh inej ghafa owns my entire heart and i’d gladly give it to her over and over again if that would make her smile. she’s been sold into slavery (mentions/hints of prostitution which only adds to her bravery and strength thank you very much) when she was 14 but she managed to leave the past behind her and remain INCREDIBLY kind and humble despite all the shit she’s been through?? there is no character i adore, respect and love more than inej (okay maybe there is and inej calls her sankta alina b y e)
- a CANONICALLY. FAT. FEMALE CHARACTER WHO’S JUST!!! AMAZING. BREATHTAKING. HEART-STOPPING (literally). a true inspiration to us all who was also held captive when she was younger, trained by the mighty (goddess on earth) zoya nazyalensky, held captive again - this time by a gross ass, fanatic ass fjerdan nazi soldier/leader and lemme tell you she didn’t even lose her appetite. BOI she wasn’t even fazed. she couldn’t find a single fuck to give & she was determined to move on but she was plagued by guilt so she came back to save/help the boy who helped HER so she’s not just a pretty face and she’s so?? badass and smart and funny and fierce and she’s so fucking PROUD of every roll and curve on her body i could actually cry?? nina zenik, an actual muse for young girls/readers. nina zenik, life & wife goals
- a smol (very smol but also kind of a sinnamon roll tbqh? he aspires to be one anyway) angelic boy who comes from a TERRIBLY abusive home bc his father is an actual piece of shit and humiliated him all his life bc wylan couldn’t read. well guess what joke’s on van eck senior bc my boy, my CANONICALLY GAY SON, is smarter than him and his entire sorry lot and he’s gonna take over the world one day, you just wait. also just wants to make things go boom boom POW (usually regarding explosives but also applies to jesper a.k.a THE MOST PERFECT, CARING, WONDERFUL BF EVER)
- a big yellow tulip also known as matthias helvar. so matthias is that boy who helped nina escape the clutches of his scary boss and he’s the actual literal embodiment of the grumpy cat. but!!! he undergoes the biggest character development of all imo bc he manages to change for the better (bit by bit, brick by brick) and let me tell you that’s COMMENDABLE. like listen this is a young man who’s been brainwashed into hating everything nina & the rest of kaz’s merry band of misfits stand for. he’s been taught nothing but hate hate and more hate and he manages to turn his back on those prejudices and he opened up so much and we got to see so much more of him in ck and we learned that he’s super kind and sweet and giving, and he’s so pure and wonderful and amazing. he also loves nina zenik A LOT which is smth i can get behind and relate to 100000%
- last but not least kuwei, who’s not ~an official~ member of kaz’s vip club (pity pity pity) but. he’s a gay poc (asian!!! the same as tamar&tolya from tgt so please don’t whitewash him, it’s unacceptable) who’s sassy but kind of laid back at the same time and his favourite pastime is to just chill in the back and pretend he’s not listening/doesn’t know the lingo but guess what?? boy is like an international spy bc he understands more than he lets on. he also lost his father (which kind of turned him into a living prize bc everybody wanted him for his knowledge & chemistry skills, like he could probably cook up a deadly virus in three minutes if he was feeling inspired that day - which never happened but still. it’s good to have options) and yet never complained about anything and he just let that drama unroll like 👀👂 I HATE DRAMA 🎧🔍📝 overall deserved better

One Last Thing

12x12 coda almost a week late (oops)

When they get back to the bunker, Dean is surprised to see Mom head toward the room they’d assigned to her all those months ago. He assumed she’d leave as soon as they were safely back underground. He’s still staring down the hallway after her when he hears Cas sigh.

He turns to find him slumped in a kitchen chair, his hands in his lap and his coat closed enough to cover the blood and black…goo on his shirt. He’s staring down at the table with a crease between his brow.

“You OK?” Dean asks gruffly as he takes a tentative seat perpendicular to him.

“No.”

Dean balks at the honesty but doesn’t say anything. He leans forward and folds his hands on top of the table. Somewhere in the direction of Sam’s room, a door opens and closes.

“I shouldn’t be alive,” Cas continues, still staring at the table. “I would’ve never…”

Suddenly Cas’ eyes pop up and past Dean as Sam enters the kitchen.

None of them say anything as Sam grabs a cold cup of coffee. Dean and Cas look at each other. When Sam leaves, Cas’ eyes find the table again.

“I wouldn’t’ve…said what I said,” Cas continues, hesitance clear in his tone, “If I had known…”

A couple of seconds pass before it clicks for Dean. “That you weren’t actually gonna die?”

Cas nods minutely.

Dean leans back, runs a hand up through his hair and then drops it to his knee. “Look, man, you know I ain’t good at this. But you are family, so…what you said…it’s not–it doesn’t–you’re not trying to take it back, are you?” What the fuck–that’s not what he meant to say at all.

“No, of course not.” For some reason, Cas sounds angry. “It’s just that I–nothing.” He quickly turns his head to the side, the way he used to do when Dean had hurt his feelings.

“Cas,” Dean says softly. He waits until Cas looks at him. “I was scared to death when I saw that…what that spear did to you. I can’t lose you, man. So, uh, tell me. Whatever’s on your mind, spit it out.” It’s too harsh, too casual, but anything else wouldn’t be Dean.

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“What?”

Cas squints at him. “It was a declaration made because I thought it was the last chance I would get to tell you. I couldn’t die without telling you that I…that.”

Dean leans forward again and wipes his hand over his mouth. “You, uh, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. You know I’m not–I’m not very good at the whole, uh, love thing, but I know it’s there. I know we’re–you know, we’re good.”

Cas squints harder and leans forward so they’re only inches apart. “You knew I was in love with you?”

Hold on.

“That’s not–you didn’t–that’s not what you said, man. You didn’t say that.”

“Dean.”

That’s his “quit being a dense idiot, Dean” voice.

Dean huffs a nervous laugh and stares at the table. “Yeah, uh, this would be a hell of a lot easier if you had died.”

Now Cas is laughing, too. “We are terrible at this.”

Dean lifts his eyes shyly. Cas is studying him.

“Do you remember…” Dean stops and sucks in a breath. He shouldn’t be talking about this. “That day in the cemetery, when we all thought I was gonna die.”

Cas nods once but doesn’t say anything.

“I wanted to, uh, say something.” Dean smiles and scratches the back of his head. “Actually, I didn’t. I wanted to–to kiss you.” He winces in embarrassment.

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

Dean looks sharply over at him.

“If you waited until you were on the brink of death to kiss me, I would’ve killed you myself.”

“You waited until your deathbed to tell me you lo–”

Cas cuts Dean’s argument off with a kiss. It’s just a tentative press of lips, but Dean still lets out a needy, embarrassing whimper as it happens. When Cas pulls away, Dean mumbles, “Nuh-uh,” and grabs him by the cheek to pull him back in. His hip is digging into the edge of the table, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

It’s sloppy and too fast and Cas is breathing heavy and whispering, “I love you,” over and over right against Dean’s mouth and it’s all too much and not nearly enough.

Later, in the pitch black of his room, lying breathless next to an angel, Dean tells Cas that he loves him, too.

keyed.

Originally posted by jiminnieseyesmile

3.8k words

members: jungkook, oc - reader

genre: fluff

warnings: language

You were sick and tired of your attractive idiot neighbor blocking your driveway.

a/n: i felt like writing this weekend and this happened surprise surprise. this is what happens when i’m buzzed off of two venti macchiatos please leave me feedback TT


“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You blocked out the angry voice shouting at you from your neighbors now open door. The hurried footsteps were getting closer but you pretended you didn’t hear, continuing to drag your key along the shiny black BMW blocking your driveway. Before you could reach the back tires a hand grasped your wrist, turning you around to face your irritating neighbor.

“Oh! Hey there, neighbor,” you grinned, innocently eyeing your neighbor head to toe. He was dressed casually with his hair tousled as though he’d just woken up. His jaw was tense as his hands tightly held your wrist, nothing but anger found in his eyes. You weren’t sure of his first name but had seen him a few times in silent passing. He was relatively new to the neighborhood, keeping to himself along with his roommate you caught quick glimpses of as well. The two had moved in a month ago and you kept to yourself as well, not bothering to play nice and whip up a housewarming desert you couldn’t even properly bake. It wasn’t until a week ago that you realized your neighbors weren’t exactly your cup of tea. They had people over constantly whether they were attending their overcrowded house parties, movie nights or simply staying over till the sun came back up. It seemed whenever the two had guests around their parking lot quickly become full, causing a new issue to arrive. You noticed the brunette, tall one seemed to have a kick out of parking right in front of your light blue beetle making it impossible for you to maneuver around his pricey sports car. The parties seemed to hit an all time high and you constantly found yourself trapped in your own driveway. You left sticky notes on his windshield, kindly asking him to stop blocking your spot and occasionally he would but it wouldn’t take long for him to fall back into his routine. It wasn’t until he made you late to your job earning you a lengthy lecture from your boss, that you felt you’d had enough, storming outside to drag your keys along his prized possession.

Your decision making skills weren’t the best when you were angry.

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anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

Dating Bruce Wayne Would Include

(Btw I am using the Batman v Superman Bruce Wayne, y’all)

  • Not being entirely sure as to how it all even happened
    • On the off-chance that you’re one of Gotham’s minimal elite, you probably met Bruce at a charity gala and, for some reason beyond your comprehension, he picked you out of the other well-dressed women
    • In the higher likelihood that you don’t come from an affluent family, there’s a multitude of possibilities as to where you met: Maybe you were at a gala working as part of the catering company and he accidentally spilled red wine on you. Maybe you worked as an intern or temp or had a desk job somewhere in the Wayne Enterprise building in Gotham. Or maybe he just saw some assholes giving you a rough time and he stepped in and then offered to walk you home.

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STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!

*These are completely interchangeable, they’re just in categories to make it easier for all of y’all.

FOR AMIGOS;

  • “How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”
  • “You were right. As per usual.”
  • “Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”
  • “You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”
  • “Is that – that’s a naked Scarlett Johansson on your fridge.”
  • “You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”
  • “Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”
  • “I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”
  • “Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”
  • “I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”
  • “Hey! Give me your pants. Quick, give me your pants.”
  • “No, I’m serious. Stop it right now or I won’t give you the last cookie.”
  • “You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”
  • “How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”
  • “I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”
  • “Hippos are hungry, hungry! And you are considerably larger than a small piece of lettuce!”
  • “When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”
  • “I don’t even miss my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, I just miss my glockenspiel.”
  • “It happens to everyone, you just sell your skirt for some coke.”
  • “Please do not pull your pants down in front of baby Jesus.”
  • “That’s not the phrasing you want to use.”
  • “Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”
  • “Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”
  • “When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”
  • “We have to change our names and run away to Mexico. It’s the only way. Adios.”
  • “How much money do you have on you?”
  • “Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”
  • “Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”
  • “For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”

FOR LOVERS;

  • “I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”
  • “I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”
  • “I need you to tickle my feet but like, sexually.”
  • “If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”
  • “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
  • “I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”
  • “I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”
  • “Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”
  • “Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”
  • “I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”
  • “Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”
  • “If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”
  • “Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”
  • “Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”
  • “We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”
  • “So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”
  • “My dog licks better than you do.”
  • “But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”
  • “I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”
  • “And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”
  • “I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”
  • “This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”
  • “I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”
  • “Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”
  • “A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”
  • “Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”
  • “Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”
  • “Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”
  • “I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”
  • “I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”
  • “I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”

FOR TEXTERS;

  • [text] This is upsetting my poop.
  • [text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.
  • [text] So it involves feces and large birds.
  • [text] She said that to you? Why?
  • [text] Please come back. I miss you.
  • [text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?
  • [text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.
  • [text] …did you just send me a nude?
  • [text] FUCK OFF YOU ONE-EYED WHORE.
  • [text] I don’t know why I said that.
  • [text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.
  • [text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.
  • [text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?
  • [text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.
  • [text] Please. I need this so badly.
  • [text] I trust you completely.
  • [text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.
  • [text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.
  • [text] She lost it. She completely lost it. She said her uterus was attacking her bone marrow.
  • [text] I will not get you donuts.
  • [text] Please? I love you.
  • [text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.
  • [text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.
  • [text] I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t think he’d duck when the ball came at him, I’m sorry.
  • [text] You’re cute.
  • [text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.
  • [text] Fuck off.
  • [text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.
Protective

Requested: Are you taking requests rn? If you are, can you do one where y/n is on tour with Shawn and him and all his crew peeps are like super protective over her wherever they go (like in public and at the venue and stuff)

~~~

You’re at Shawn’s hotel in Italy, and you knew that he had fans, lots of fans, but this feels like a whole new level. You, Shawn, and the rest of his team are standing in the lobby, not wanting to risk going outside right now. You can see the fans as a giant hoard outside of the hotel. As much as none of you want to leave through that, you know you need to get to the venue soon in order for Shawn to have enough time to sound check and get ready to play the show. Because of this, they’re desperately trying to find a way to get Shawn outside and into the car without getting mobbed by the masses of fans.

Shawn has two bodyguards ready to walk with him. He knows better than to try to hold your hand through the crowd because that makes it worse for both of you. He knows you’ll get mobbed even more, the closer you are to him. Before you exit through the doors, Shawn gently pulls you closer to himself while he still can, asking, “You going to be okay?” Knowing you actually hate crowds.

You nod, trying to reassure him. At the same time, Geoff walks up beside you, “I got her.” He tells Shawn, and Shawn nods gratefully. This happens all the time. Shawn has trained bodyguards to make sure that he doesn’t get hurt in the crowds and chaos, but you have Geoff, who’s just as good. He always protects you through the crowds because he knows Shawn can’t. 

When the doors open, Shawn gets sent out first. With one last glance back to make sure that Geoff is with you, he pastes a smile on his face and steps out to meet the screams. Andrew somehow materialized from nowhere, along with Zubin. Andrew takes the front, and Zubin moves to the side of you that Geoff is not on. “It’s extra crazy today,” Zubin comments, purposely walking close to you, and keeping the fans from attacking, or accidentally trampling you.

When you make it into the car, Andrew lets you in first, and Shawn’s already inside. “Are you okay?” Shawn immediately questions once you get in. “Yeah,” You respond honestly, “I had three bodyguards you only had two.” You joke, and it takes Shawn a second to understand what you’re talking about, but when he sees Andrew getting in the car followed by Zubin and Geoff, he just smiles, and responds, “Good, that’s how it should be.”

Written for the @nurseyweek prompt: “challenge.”

“I keep better time during hockey season,” Jack tells him once. “Easier to track a life in wins and losses than in idle days, eh?”

And Nursey can definitely relate, but he definitely doesn’t say so. Not when Bitty gets that look on his face at overhearing the conversation, like what Jack’s just said is the saddest thing to ever be uttered. The hockey robot who can’t quite human the way he should.

The thing is that Nursey is his own kind of robot, if he’s honest with himself. Which he tries not to be anymore. “Honesty” usually packs a punch that he would rather not suffer through if he can help it.

Robot Nursey is very good at projecting the appearance of a person that is the polar opposite of the person all of his internal thoughts and emotions want him to be. He can compartmentalize nearly any situational response that goes against this outward ruse. And he can neatly divide his own life up into a series of challenges that his careful mask has faced, and a collection of coping mechanisms to go with them.

Loving Dex has somehow become both.

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Beat Of Your Hearts. (Tom Holland Imagine)

Request: Oh my god. I just read Tidal Wave and then Just friends and holy shit you are an amazing writer. Can you do a Tom Holland one where the reader and Tom are dating and they’re at an after party for some MCU movie or something. And tom asks the reader to dance and he’s being all cutesy and stuff and just like a lot of fluff and stuff??? Maybe the cast is there too and they tease them both about PDA? Sorry if this is long and/or vague. :) From @jensenbabe

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me! And your request is the perfect leh! ♥

And yes! I am back for the summer! So… can I get a woot woot!

Requests are open (just bear with me I need to get back in the groove of writing on tumblr).

I’m sorry that it’s so short or too cheesy. I’m also really sorry if this is not what you wanted!

I hope you enjoy!

Originally posted by kianya-loves

The night has been exciting… Then again… why wouldn’t it be? It’s the premiere of the long awaited Avengers: Infinity War part 1. You spent the beginning of the evening taking pictures on the red carpet, Tom at your side with his arm around your waist. The public went into a frenzy for the new hot Marvel onscreen and off screen couple. 

Throughout the night, you and Tom were giggling and playing around discreetly- obviously not wanting to be scolded for your “unprofessional” actions. 

Then it eventually rotated to the after party. You had taken off your heels since your feet were aching from the high arches. Tom had made fun of your bright red feet. “Do you walk on tomatoes?” He asked. 

You picked up a croissant then shoved it to his face. “Oh, go eat a quackson.” You mimicked before the two of you burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Ugh, look at the love birds.” Anthony Mackie joked as he and Robert Downey Jr. sat in between you both, separating you from your boyfriend. 

You pouted at your friends and RDJ stated with a straight face, “I’ve got to separate you two before you guys start popping out some babies.“ 

And as the mature adults you and Tom are, both of you yelled out, “GROSS.” 

After giving you and Tom a weird talk about having children, Mackie and RDJ walked off. He pulled you closer towards him and rested his head at the crook of your neck. “I love you.” He whispered.

You smiled though he couldn’t see and said, “I love you, too.” 

Then he piped up, nearly knocking your heads together. Tom frantically got up from his seat and held his hand out to you. “Dance with me.”

You gave him a weird look. Normally, you were all for dancing with Tom. You loved it. But this time it was different. “Baby, there’s no music.” You stated, curious about his motives. 

Tom simply shrugged. “I don’t care. I just want to dance with the love of my life even if there’s no music.” You gave him a loving smile before taking his hand and being escorted to the center of the room. 

Now, you thought Tom meant slow dancing… But, honey… Your boyfriend just broke out into a crazy dance sequence you couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Dance with me, (Y/N)!” He laughed, taking your hands and spinning you. 

You both could feel the stares of your cast mates- who were undoubtedly taking videos and photos for their social medias and for the simple joy of the memory- but you both could care less. They can bother you later. 

Yes there was no music to dance to, but that didn’t matter. You were dancing to the Beat Of Your Hearts.

Keeping Your End of the Bargain

I promised I’d give you all another Dark fic when we reached our next milestone, and I always keep my promises. 

Just a quick warning- this is not fluff. It’s not romance. It’s not a sympathetic portrayal. This man is a manipulator, a good one, and he does what he does to further his own interests. He enjoys control, not company. And, to use Mark’s own words:

He is not here to help you. He is here to use you.

Enjoy.

Originally posted by wrcngchcice


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anonymous asked:

Based on what you've come to know as a fan of BTS, if you had to guess - what do you think they each have for possible kinks? 🤔

I read these “kink lists” or MTL <insert kink here> all the time and I almost always think differently from what others put down on their lists.  Which is fine, because none of us have the slightest clue what the boys are really into.  And, to be honest, if I had written my list a month ago, it would probably look different than the one I’ve written below.  I can’t ever make up my mind.

Also, because I can’t ever do things simply or just follow instructions, it’s not really a list of kinks as much as it is ramblings about sex categorized by member.

BTS KINKS ACCORDING TO ME!

Originally posted by go2bedjungkook

Jin: Total slut who is down for most anything as long as he gets laid in the process.  Tie him up? Sure! Tie you up? Okay! Sex in an alley? Bring it on! Threeways, orgies, or totally generic missionary style? Yes, please!  Not into hardcore BDSM.  Would rather not have anything stuck in his butt, but could be convinced if horny enough.  Not a dom, not a sub – just wants to put his penis in your vagina and willing to do what it takes to make that happen.  Body types don’t generally matter to him. Fat, skinny, tall, short, whatever – he will want to fuck you… but I do think he’s got a special thing for chubby chicks.

Originally posted by jungsooneul

Yoongi:  My absolute bias, therefore I believe he’s mostly into the same things I’m into.  Don’t fight me on this – it’s my list and I get to choose my delusions.  Long, slow build up into sex.  Lots of teasing, nipple sucking, shallow fucking – won’t start pounding you hard until you are absolutely begging him for it.  Everything is a competition in his head, so he needs to make you cum first in order to “win” at sex.  Not a big moaner.  Loves to dirty talk – like really, super obscene, sometimes bordering on demeaning but never goes too far.  Wakes up in the middle of the night and wants sex.  Likes morning sex too. Prefers sex in a bed because he likes to be comfortable. Sadly, he’s not into public sex, but will totally finger bang you at the bar when he’s drunk.

Originally posted by ultranicolet

Hoseok: Likes to keep things private.  Prefers monogamous relationships where you build trust over time. Pretty standard sex life at first but once he trusts you, he starts pushing the boundaries and letting you in on what he really likes.  Into sensory deprivation – blindfolds and earplugs, so he can’t see or hear you coming. Not a traditional sub – he’s not into being obedient to you or anyone, but he does like it when you take the lead sexually.  Wants to get pegged by you, especially if he’s getting a hand job at the same time. Actually, really enjoys hand jobs in general.  Likes occasional orgasm denial or ruined orgasms because it makes him cum harder when he gets to orgasm for real the next time.

Originally posted by bangtangirl-cutennes-v

Namjoon:  His intellectual curiosity transfers over to his sex life as well.  Has read a ton of books and magazine articles on sex. Watches a shit-load of porn.  Extremely open minded.  Wants to try everything at least once.  Always checking in on you during sex to make sure you’re still into whatever is going on. Asks for a lot of feedback – wants to know if you prefer he go fast or slow, long strokes or short, up or down… he’s like a sexual investigator.  Is an awkward dom, but working on getting better at it.  Willing sub, but can’t do it all the time.  Into MFF threesomes… a lot!  Wants to fuck you in the butt.  Totally turned on by all body types, but is the most easily distracted by big boobs.

Originally posted by jiminios

Jimin:  Slightly dom leaning during sex but not life.  Gets off on being seen as manly, so wants to take the lead on pleasuring you – but not interested in being overly demanding or punitive.  Has an extremely strong desire to be needed by you.  Wants your praise desperately.  Gets off on hearing you moan and works hard to make that happen. Tiny exhibitionist streak in him and likes it when you feel him up in public, but not into full blown public sex.   Likes to hear you dirty talk to him.  Wants to fuck you in front of a mirror so he can see everything that is going on. Wants you to strip and lap dance for him, eager to do the same in return.  Into sexting and mutual masturbation.

Originally posted by we--are--bulletproof

Taehyung: Most likely to categorize girls into “girls you fuck” and “girls you marry”.  Respectful to both, but can’t quite reconcile that you can be both. He’ll outgrow it eventually.  In the meantime, he’s focused on the “girls you fuck” category.  Fascinated by strong and dominant women, so willing to be a sub in bed to them, but not interested in being a life-style sub.  Thinks he has to try to get all his sexual needs satisfied now before he settles down with the proverbial good girl, so he’s not thinking much about long term relationships at the moment.  Wants variety.  Into one-night-stands and friends-with-benefits situations. Totally up for threesomes, MFF or MMF – he doesn’t care.  Really wants you to sit on his face.

Originally posted by bane-niki

Jungkook: Thinks he needs to change sex positions every few minutes.  Likes to challenge himself (and you) into athletic sexual positions, like standing 69. Wants to work his way through all the positions in the Kamasutra.  Likes sex outdoors, in the woods, on the beach, in the backseat of the car parked along a country road.  Enjoys occasional quickies, but prides himself on endurance sex.  Excellent orgasm control so he can go for a long time. Not happy unless you’ve had multiple orgasms.  Recovers quickly, so able to have sex multiple times a day.  Totally into biting, scratching and hair pulling. Will happily spank you at your request.

anonymous asked:

Aaah, requests are open, I am so happy, I love you guys!!! Okay, so, if it's okay, could you two write about the RFA+V+Saeran going all together to the beach? And, ah....I really love how you write Saeran (I'm that Anon from some time ago) so, if it's okay, could you write this with Saeran crushing on MC or they already dating each other (you choose)? I am really sorry if this a strange or hard request, if you dont want to do it, you can write an idea of your own, I just love your writing a lot!

Thank you so much! We actually LOVED writing this. This was really sweet:) We left out V, just because…well, spoilers;) Those who’ve been through the secret ends know, but we hope you don’t mind too much! Enjoy this one:) 


  • Saeyoung and Yoosung had spontaneously started planning a beach day in a chatroom
  • While it was out of the blue, everyone else seemed to think it was a good idea
  • So they found a weekend they were all free
  • Saeran was against it nearly the entire time, but eventually caved in after Saeyoung’s *cough* persuasive argument
  • “I told you, I don’t want to go!” 
  • “But, Saeran, MC is coming.”
  • “….Ugh, I guess it won’t be that bad.”
  • On the day itself, your car happens to be in the shop, so you ask for a ride
  • Saeyoung is all too happy to oblige
  • When he pulls up to your driveway, he tells Saeran to sit in the back
  • “Why? The shotgun is free.”
  • “Just go!” 
  • “But MC said she wanted to sit in the back–”
  • “My car, my rules!”
  • “Well, your rules are stupid.”
  • Saeran finds out why soon after…
  • Saeyoung seems to miss every single turn or gets lost often, resulting in super sharp U-turns that send you and Saeran flying into each other’s arms on a constant basis real subtle, Saeyoung
  • Thanks to Jumin, the area you guys settle into isn’t crowded at all
  • Everyone is too excited to get into the water, but Saeran isn’t too enthusiastic
  • He stays behind and offers to set up the blankets and umbrellas, and you linger behind to help him
  • He’s having such a hard time and he keeps complaining to you
  • “Ugh! I hate the sand. So much.”
  • “Settle down there, Anakin,” you laugh ;););)
  • He loosens up and actually starts enjoying the conversation with you
  • Until Yoosung comes over and dumps a bucket of water on him…with sand on the bottom
  • With the glare Saeran gives him, Yoosung is trembling
  • “I did it for the Honey Buddha Chips!” meanwhile Saeyoung is laughing on the sidelines
  • Saeran doesn’t care if it was a bet, he chases the terrified Yoosung all around the beach and straight into the water
  • You follow along–it was too good not to watch
  • Zen and Jaehee excuse themselves to check out the boardwalk and get drinks for everyone
  • They have some bonding time taking selfies and talking about Zen’s new projects and Jaehee’s work
  • Jaehee starts fangirling a little when Zen’s hair starts waving because of the sea salt
  • Zen would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the attention
  • Meanwhile, Saeyoung is attempting to build an epic sandcastle, but he keeps failing cuz his plans keep getting washed away by the water
  • Jumin is watching and gets really frustrated
  • He draws an elaborate blueprint and joins Saeyoung
  • With Saeyoung’s building skills and Jumin’s delegation and good ideas, they start building literally the most epic sandcastle ever also they actually bond instead of fighting over Elizabeth the 3rd
  • Yoosung is watching in awe on the side
  • Finally he comes up and asks if he could help
  • Jumin flat out says no
  • Saeyoung doesn’t refuse though
  • “Yoosung! Your body is the perfect size for a moat. Just lay down here, and I’ll use you as a mold.” 
  • Gullible Yoosung goes along with it and Saeyoung piles sand on top of him
  • “Oh, you know what, let me ask Jumin something real quick!” he says and walks away
  • He doesn’t come back and poor Yoosung is just calling for someone to free him from the heavy sand
  • Zen comes by a little later
  • “Hyung! Thank goodness! Can you help me?”
  • Zen kneels down and starts drawing abs on him, snickering, “See what you could look like if you worked out like me?”
  • Yoosung doesn’t get free until you come along and wash him off…after a few pics of course
  •  Both Jaehee and Saeran start to  get sunburn, so they’re sitting under these huge umbrellas wrapped in towels and soaked in sunscreen
  • You feel bad for Saeran sitting there pouting so you ask if he wants to get ice cream with you on the boardwalk
  • Zen perks up too,“Oh! Can I come?”
  • Saeran jumps to his feet and grabs your wrist, “No. MC let’s go.”
  • The walk there is ten times longer than it needed to be, but neither of you are complaining
  • At first, he’s not really saying much, but he keeps running his hand through his hair and clearing his throat
  • He finally opens up a little when you actually get the ice cream and walk along the boardwalk
  • He even starts getting playful, taking a small bite from your ice cream or chasing you around when you smear some on his cheek
  • You’ve never seen him laugh so much
  • He finds out he’s pretty good at those arcade games, so he keeps playing them
  • He wins you several stuffed animals, and you two even have some matching ones
  • The sun is setting by the time you get back to the others
  • You all just sit around, mostly in silence and eating
  • While everyone is packing up, you and Saeran sneak away to get one last walk on the beach together
  • He even got the courage to hold your hand for a little
  • It was one of the nicest days you’ve ever had 

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

Just another day in Bellamy doing husband things for Clarke: A meta

Just want to take advantage of @wellamyblake‘s awesome tag meta here: 

#THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL - CLARKE NEVER REALLY NEEDS *SAVING* ON THIS SHOW IN THE WAY OF TRADITIONAL HEROINES#BELLAMY NEVER REALLY SAVES HER LIKE SHES A DAMSEL#BUT IN THIS MOMENTS CLARKE IS LONGING TO BE SAVED AND SHE /CANT DO IT HERSELF/ SO HE DOES IT FOR HE

To wax lyrical about the beauty that is the bellarke partnership. 

And first of all I’d like to say that I really appreciate how calm Bellamy Blake can be, especially at times when she is at her lowest.  As many pointed out correctly, the moment he gallivanted off to get the hydrogenerator the pressure came crashing down on her. It doesn’t mean she didn’t eventually keep it together. It just that the pressure is so much heavier without his support. And I’m glad it is now being spelt out more clearly by the show, because though it has been shown throughout the past seasons, somehow, people seem to miss it (or want to ignore it, I mean, lbr about fandom here). 

Bellamy seems to always have this quiet resolve when it comes to Clarke. This scene actually reminded me a lot of two scenes in season 2. Once in the tunnels when she sees him and asks him to please tell her that he has the plan (because she doesn’t), and he matter-of-factly tells her that he doesn’t. YET, it manages to calm Clarke down so much and spur her on to find Dante. Then in the control room when Clarke knows she has to pull the lever but in that moment she’s just so scared and helpless - That is the scene I was heavily reminded of in this episode (4x03), because she just looks up at Bellamy, she wants her name to be on the list - but she just can’t do it. 

In 2x16, Bellamy doesn’t skip a beat and puts his hand over hers, telling her they’d do it together. In 4x03, he just tells her quite plainly that if she wouldn’t put her name down, he’d do it. She’s so vulnerable in that moment (Eliza played it so well, bless her), so unconvinced that she should be on that list. But it’s not even a question for him that she should be - So this is how he saves her. 

You know what I think? I think he knew the moment he woke up and saw her crying that his name would be on the list without hers on it. Because while Bellamy Blake may not know she’s in love with him - he sure knows Clarke well enough to know that she would do something like that. And Clarke knows Bellamy knows because she turns her eyes away from him. 

Keep reading

SCREAMS  (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

IT’S FINALLY HERE OMG OKOK ANYWAY I THINK THIS COUNTS AS ANGST?? (bolded as a warning ;3)

Thank you for your patience, nonnerson~~ nyahaha Anyway I recommend reading (or re-reading part 1)

–R.I.

Click Here for: [Part 1]


It had been a year.

The thought crossed your mind as you exhaled the smoke from a cigarette, watching as it disappeared with the wind. Just like you had, a year ago.

The sun’s rays peeked out from behind the familiar, tall building in front of you, spreading its light over the shadows where you hid. Rika’s old apartment building. The same place where he had brought you to, and the same place he had taken you away from.

Even now, you were unaware of their intentions for bringing you to the RFA and then stealing you away, but… it didn’t matter. No, nothing mattered anymore.

You crumpled the lit cigarette with your bare hands, tossing it to the ground to stamp out the flame, feeling satisfied by the small crunch! sound it made. You wouldn’t have started to smoke, had it not been for the influence of Mint Eye. Sure, you knew it’d kill you, but everything you’d learned at Mint Eye had opened your eyes to the world—that nothing was worth living for in the first place. What did it matter if you killed yourself a little more?

It didn’t.

“MC?” A familiar voice called out to you, making you snap out of your thoughts. Your eyes widened with recognition as you stared at the person before you, but you quickly narrowed them, pursing your lips as you gazed at them coolly.


Yoosung

  • He did a double take, as his eyes roamed over your face, taking in the familiar features of your face that he hadn’t seen in a year…
  • “MC? Y-you’re MC, right?”
  • His voice was filled with hope and desperation, and he subconsciously reached out to you, as if he wanted to catch you before you slipped away.
  • But you didn’t reply, instead brushing past him, barely acknowledging his presence. As you passed him, he noticed the cold look in your eyes, and shuddered. That… that wasn’t the kind and warm MC he had grown to known. You wouldn’t look at him like that, no… not you.
  • Yoosung could only stare after you in disbelief, but he never gathered the courage to approach you again, not even to confirm your identity.
  • It couldn’t have been you. You wouldn’t look so… so… empty.
  • He’d lament about it to Zen later, drunkenly babbling that he’d seen someone just like you on the streets… admitting his fear that he was too much of a coward to find out if it had been you.
  • “I’m scared if it really was MC… Her eyes looked so distant… so empty… so cold… it can’t be her,” Yoosung would deny, shaking his head with a drunken grin on his face. “MC… our MC would never…”
  • He refused to believe it, avoiding the thought completely. A tear fell from his eye as he gazed at Zen through his glass of champagne. “You should’ve seen those scars on her body… god, no, they can’t… they just can’t belong to her,” he hiccupped, still shaking his head in denial.
  • Even as he fell asleep from the heavy amount of alcohol he’d consumed, he would continue to cry in his sleep, dreaming of the broken girl that he’d been too afraid to even talk to.
  • “Not MC…”

Zen

  • You didn’t bother sparing him a second glance as you met eyes with him, but he grabbed your arm before you could even turn the other way.
  • His eyes were shining almost too brightly, and you could practically see a tail wagging excitedly from behind him like a dog. “Jagiya!! Oh, I knew it was you. I would recognize your pretty face anywhere. I’m so glad you’re okay, jagi, I can’t wait to tell the others! I’ve missed…”
  • Zen trailed off as he noticed your unchanging expression, but he mustered up another smile to cover up the fact that your lack of reaction dampened his mood. After all, it had been a year since he last saw you. He didn’t want to waste any more time with you, and he didn’t want to be gloomy with you after so long.
  • “Come on, why don’t we sit down somewhere to catch up?” he smiled warmly, tugging at your arm gently. He didn’t miss the unusual way you winced a bit as he did.
  • Zen loosened his grip on you arm, worry building uncomfortably in his heart. “MC… is it okay if I roll up your sleeve? Please…” His eyes searched yours for an answer, not just to his spoken question but to the millions of questions bottled up.
  • You… you felt torn. Why was he acting so nice to you even though you weren’t even a part of the RFA? Even though it’d been a year? Even though… even though he had no reason to be nice to you? You felt a pain tugging at your heart, but you tried to ignore it instead.
  • Zen looked at you while rolling up the sleeve of your right arm, watching your expression carefully for any hint that he should stop.
  • But you let him.
  • You let him see the dark purple bruises lining up your arm, the faded scars that left scabs in their place… the pain. The pain you’d suffered the past year.
  • He felt sick. What had happened during the time you had gone missing…? Why… why couldn’t he be there for you? Why did this have to happen? Why weren’t you saying anything? Why aren’t there even tears in your eyes? Why wouldn’t you look at him in the eyes?
  • So many questions were spinning in his mind, but he couldn’t voice a single one. “I’m sorry,” he whispered instead, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
  • His hands were trembling as he held yours, bringing the tips of your fingers to his lips as he kissed every one softly… treating you as if you were the most delicate thing in the world.
  • “I’m so sorry I let them hurt you.”

Jaehee

  • Her eyes had dark circles under them, even larger than the ones you’d last seen on her face a year ago. You wondered, could it be that you’d caused that? But you quickly brushed aside the thought. ‘I don’t care,’ you told yourself.
  • It took her a moment to really look at you, her tired mind barely processing what was going on. “MC…?”
  • She just barely recognized you. Gosh… you looked so different. You were wearing dull, dark clothes, even gained a piercing… There were obvious scars at the base of your neck, travelling down toward your chest… But your eyes. Your eyes looked so dead.
  • Jaehee had always thought that she herself looked stressed and tired enough… but seeing you today made her think twice. You looked far worse than her, and she hadn’t even thought that was possible.
  • She swallowed her thoughts, choosing to make small talk with you instead. “You’ve… changed a lot, MC,” she commented softly, unsure what to say.
  • You cocked your head at her. How were you supposed to respond to that?
  • “Uhm, maybe we could grab some coffee?” she tried, still trying to get over her shock of seeing you after your disappearance a year ago. Jaehee had no idea what exactly had happened to you, and reality hadn’t quite hit her that you were standing in front of her just yet, but… she was so, so glad to see you.
  • Your heart swelled at the delighted expression Jaehee wore, and you flashed a small, sad, tired smile at her. You’d missed her. She’d been the only female in the RFA, so you’d put in a lot of effort to befriend her. Jaehee had been one of your closest female friends in your entire life, despite the fact that you had only known her for a short period of time…
  • But no matter how you felt, you couldn’t do anything about it.
  • “I’m sorry.” You pulled her into a tight embrace, closing your eyes briefly to savour the moment. But you quickly let go before she could even wrap her arms around you. “I… don’t want to put you in danger.”
  • With that, you turned on your heel, leaving a confused, sleep-deprived Jaehee behind to suffer from your absence yet again.

V

(Reminder: he’s unaware of Mint Eye in this.)

  • “MC!” His voice was urgent and desperate, very different from the gentle tone you remembered him by. “MC… I’m so glad you’re okay…”
  • His eyes were filling with tears, relieved to see you after so long. He noted your features… the bruises, the healing injuries, the broken look in your eyes as if you’d lost all meaning in life. Dread and guilt overwhelmed his relief, his body growing stiffer and stiffer the more details he noticed.
  • Because it was his fault.
  • He was the one who swore you’d be safe. And yet…
  • He almost choked on his tears as he managed to whisper, “Oh god, I’m so sorry, MC.”
  • Reality hit him. It was all his fault that this had happened to you. If only he hadn’t convinced Jumin… if only he’d ensured your security… if only it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t have these scars.
  • “Leave me alone,” you muttered, brushing past him. He watched you walk away, your eyes downcast and lacking life. He could almost hear his own heart cracking more with every step you took.
  • Because he had no right to stop you. He had no right to interfere with your life and risk ruining it more than he already had.
  • Your brief meeting with him had started with a broken girl, and ended with a broken man.

Jumin

  • His heart was hammering as he stared at you with wide eyes. He almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He took quick, long strides to make his way toward you, but you broke into a sprint, running away from him.
  • No. No. Not him. Not Jumin. No.
  • You knew how he’d felt about you. Hell, you knew you’d felt something with him, too. If you looked at him any longer, all the feelings, all the memories, would come rushing back. You couldn’t let him see you.
  • But he chased you.
  • God, there was no way he’d let you go again.
  • He ran the fastest he’d ever run in his entire life, ignoring everyone and everything around him, only focusing on catching you. But then he tripped just as he got within an arm’s reach, and you halted in your steps on instinct. A pained smile crossed his face as Jumin grabbed at your ankle tightly, making sure you couldn’t run off again.
  • “I knew you would stop for me,” he murmured softly. He stood up slowly, his eyes trained on you. “I thought I’d never get the chance to see you again. That I’d never be able to tell you how sorry I am for letting you go that day… Even after a year, you’re still the same kind, gentle MC I know.”
  • You held back your tears, avoiding his gaze. “I’m not the same, Jumin,” you started, your voice coming out as an unintentional whimper. “I… You don’t know what they did to me, Jumin… They t-touched me, and drugged me, and hurt me and killed me in so, so many ways… I… I’m so disgusted with myself…”
  • You didn’t know why you were telling all this to him. But you couldn’t help it. He was the man you had loved… The man you probably still held feelings for. Even if a year had gone by, the way his mere presence made you feel safe and loved never changed.
  • He gently cradled you in his arms. “I promise you, MC. I will do anything and everything in my power to protect you. I will never let this happen again, I promise,” he murmured in your ears, his chin resting upon your shoulder. You felt dampness on your shoulder, and you realized… Jumin Han was crying.
  • “How? Seven couldn’t even protect me,” you muttered, holding yourself back from returning his warm embrace.
  • He didn’t answer you. Instead, he acted immediately on his words. Jumin exposed your identity to the world, requesting an international TV station to release the news. Everyone would know you. If Mint Eye attempted to take you again, they wouldn’t be able to do so without raising the public’s suspicions. Furthermore, he assigned you trustworthy guards and increased security around his apartment with Seven’s help.
  • They had let you go once. They wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
  • It would take time to help you recover from your traumatic events, but.. They would never let anything happen to you, ever again.
  • Because they love you. They all do.

Seven

  • He would recognize you anywhere. Even worse, he recognized the glazed look in your eyes immediately, too.
  • Come with me right now,” he scowled, grabbing your hand roughly. You tried to pull back, but his grip was firm, and you couldn’t fight against his strength.
  • As he led you angrily through the streets, throwing you into his car and locking the two of you inside, a million thoughts were filling his mind.
  • “Who did this to you?” Seven demanded. He was seething, his golden eyes flashing with detest.
  • You only glared back at him, refusing to answer his question. What good would it do you? Mint Eye had overpowered him and his security once. Even if you went crawling back to the RFA, they would only get you again. It was hopeless. Everything was fucking hopeless.
  • Hurt flashed across his face as he realized what you were thinking, and he lowered his eyes, guilt clouding them. “You think I’m useless, huh. I know. You entrusted your life with me and I only let you down. I can’t promise you that I can help, but please, at the very least, let me try. Tell me what happened, MC,” he pleaded softly.
  • “Even if I told you, what could you do?” you replied in a quiet, tired voice. “It’s an entire organization, Seven. Mint Eye, if you must know. Look, I don’t expect you to do anything.” An empty laugh escaped your lips. “You claim to be this amazing hacker, but you couldn’t even find one girl. You… you have no idea what I went through.”
  • With that said, you left his car, slamming the door shut behind you.

  • That night, when you returned to Mint Eye Headquarters, you noticed that everyone was in a frenzy, running around like mad dogs. “What’s going on?” you asked someone passing by.
  • Their eyes reflected yours with fear. “We’ve been exposed. Revealed to the world. We have to get out, NOW. They’ve sent the government and news stations after us. Each man for himself, run for your life!”
  • You stood there, shocked as you realized that Seven had taken action immediately. Your phone buzzed with a notification, and you noticed a distinctly familiar number texting you.
  • 707: It’s been a year, MC. I haven’t done nothing throughout this time. I always swore to myself that if I finally found you again one day, I would save you.
  • Your eyes welled up with tears as you read his messages.
  • 707: If you trust me, come to this address: [Address Here]
  • 707: We’re waiting for you, MC. Everyone’s waiting.
  • You started to run away from the building and towards your friends. Yoosung… Zen… Jaehee… Jumin… Seven… V…
  • The thought of their smiling faces, greeting you, was enough to bring a smile to your face. The first genuine smile since you’d been taken away from the RFA. 
  • It wouldn’t be the last.
"I'm sorry" Langst Fic(Trigger Warning plz be safe) PT-2

Allura hadn’t got that much sleep that night.

She was aware that she had hurt Lance, and realized he was offering her comfort, as a good teammate- and friend- ought to have done.

But Allura, she had only responded with hate. She had insulted him. She had told him he was useless, and that he didn’t deserve to be the blue paladin.

But now that she had cleared her head, she realized just how wrong she was for saying such a thing to him.

Not only did he deserve to be the blue paladin- he had been made to be the blue paladin of Voltron. He had proven himself time and time again, over and over, that he deserved to be here with the team, just as much as anyone else did.

In her desperation to find an acceptable apology for Lance, she had marched straight up to Shiro’s room, knocked on the door, and waited.

The door slid open within two ticks, and Shiro cocked a questioning eyebrow at Allura.

“I need to talk to you. May I come in?” Shiro didn’t know what about, but he let Allura in either way, nodding, and watching from the still open door as she sat down on the edge of his bed, holding her head in her hands.

“Princess? What’s wrong?” Shiro asked hurriedly, closing the door and walking over to where she sat, crouching down to her level. He tensed when he saw that her cheeks were tear stained.


“Allura?” He questioned, concern littered across his expression. Allura shook her head in response, and inhaled shakily.

“Shiro, I… I hurt him.” Allura managed to choke the words out, and her voice threatened to crack. Shiro was confused, but comforted her either way, stroking her hair and rocking her slightly.

“Allura, who did you hurt?” Shiro asked calmly, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly, patiently awaiting an answer.

She sighed sadly, a pitiful expression the only insight to what might’ve happened.

“Lance. Last night. I told him that I was a fool for making him the blue paladin. He was just trying to help me with my own pain and I had to go and take my anger out on him instead of saying thank you. Like a normal person would.” Allura gestured outwards in exasperation, as if illustrating her point further.

 A picture of Lance’s stuffy nose, pink tinged, and tear stained face popped up into Shiro’s train of thought, and tingles of anxiety bloomed in his stomach. Without thinking, Shiro mumbled to himself. 

 “That’s why he looked so bad.” Shiro looked to the floor, and before he realized it, Allura was tensing, and turned to face him. 

 “You saw him last night? After I yelled at him?” Allura took Shiro by the shoulders, shaking him lightly. Her voice was laced with panic. He nodded stiffly.
 

“How am I going to apologize to Lance?! I hurt him so badly, Shiro- you won’t be able to form Voltron if Lance is in pain- and even if you didn’t need to form Voltron anytime soon, Lance is still a member of this team, and he deserves to be happy.” Her hands found their way to her hair, and she stared at the floor with wide, panicked eyes.
 Shiro was slightly taken aback by her ranting, but smiled warmly as he processed her words. 

 “Tell him exactly how you feel. Apologize sincerely.” Shiro responded, rubbing circles on her back. Allura thought quietly for a moment, before rising calmly and nodding her head briefly. 

She turned to Shiro, who now was looking at her proudly, and a little shocked. Her emotions were a little erratic at the moment, he concluded, but went along with whatever she had planned. 

 "This will need to be a group effort. I am not going to be the only one on this team treating him kindly from now on. We all include him, compliment him, praise him, and bond with him. I refuse to have one of my paladins consistently unhappy. Shiro, I am going to need your help talking to the others- especially Hunk. I don’t know what he’ll do to me when he finds out what I told Lance.” Shiro and Allura collectively shivered.


“Understood, princess.” Shiro nodded, and rose from the bed.


“Thank you for helping me, Shiro. I really do appreciate it.” Allura smiled fondly, which Shiro mistakenly assumed was gratitude, and took her leave.
 

“I’ll see you in the control room soon!” Allura called behind her shoulder, leaving Shiro to his own thoughts. 

Shiro had a lot of apologizing to do as well. He had brushed off Lance’s own feelings and problems, and he felt like shit for it.
 

Allura was determined to set things right between her and Lance, and marched her ass down to the control room. Once there, she pulled up a transparent screen, and clicked a few buttons, dragged a few knobs down, and there was the sound of a soft alarm.  

 It wasn’t blaring, but it wasn’t loud enough to where you could ignore it. She played it in every room except for Lance’s. She needed to talk to every paladin except for him. She needed to discuss the issues they were making when they came into contact with Lance.  

 She needed to fix this. 

 And she was going to fix it right. Now.

Pidge, Keith, Hunk, Coran, and Shiro all made their way to the control room, their thoughts seemingly somewhere else.

Pidge was looking down at the ground, timing their steps.

Keith was looking forward solemnly, lost in thought.

Shiro was focused on the task at hand.

Coran was fiddling with the end of his mustache.

Hunk’s stomach was aching for some food.

They entered the control room as a collective unit, the team taking notice that Lance was not in the room with them.

Coran sighed, and made his way to the exit.

“I’ll go wake the boy up.” Coran sighed sleepily, and Allura stopped him before he could physically leave.


“Coran, I purposely did not wake him up. I called you here specifically to talk about Lance.” The team, excluding Shiro, tensed, and anxiety blossomed in their guts.


“What about Lance?” Hunk was the first to speak, anxiety evident in his voice. 

The aura of the room was cold… Too cold.


“There is no need for alarm Hunk- I checked on Lance earlier. Physically speaking, he is unharmed.” Allura lied, images of Lance’s crimson stained floor coming to mind, memories of her crying in the doorway. 


Thank god he’s a deep sleeper.’ Allura thought to herself, images of the now cleaned and properly bandaged cuts across Lance’s forearms flashing across her train of thought.

She had scrubbed the quiznak out of his floor, and rummaged through a majority of his things(which she argued over doing for who knows how many minutes), and confiscated all sharp items he might have been able to harm himself with. 

She had found him earlier that morning, wanting to apologize, but after finding him in such terrible shape, her confidence shattered, and she didn’t know how to approach the situation.

But now she did.

“We need to talk about the manner in which we treat Lance.” Allura sighed, looking at the ground in disappointment.


“Princess, I can assure you we-” Coran began, but Allura smiled at him reassuringly, showing that she was not upset with any of them.

She turned back to the rest of the group, smiling sadly.

“I have noticed that our attitudes towards him are less than acceptable. In fact, our tendencies to snap at him and reprimand him mercilessly make me angry. Not only that- they damage him and his well being.” Pidge made an act to protest, but Allura raised her hand to silence them.


“I am no exception to this. I made a particularly rude multitude of comments to Lance last night, and I believe I caused him to second guess his position on this team and his usefulness to the rest of us.” Allura’s voice cracked on the last sentence, and the room was eerily silent.


“Oh my god…” Hunk whispered, and a shiver ran up Allura’s spine.


She inhaled shakily, gathering as much courage as possible to get through the next sentences. 

“He had suggested that I try talking about Altea. He told me it might’ve eased some of the pain that came with losing it. I told him that I didn’t want to talk about a planet that no longer existed.” Allura sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Hesitantly, she continued.

“When he had tried to apologize… I…” 

That’s when the tears began to flow.


They were unrelenting, and they were an endless testament to her guilt.

“I told him that I was a fool to make him the blue paladin. I told him he did more harm than good. That I didn’t want his help. I called him useless! I messed up so badly- I let my quiznaking emotions get the better of me and I took out all my pent up anger out on him- and now he’s upset and doubting himself, and it’s all my fault.” Allura finished off with a sob, and collapsed to the ground.

The team watched as the princess clasped her hands over her face in shame.

None of them knew what to do- but they had a pretty good idea.

Hunk was the first to move towards her, and crouched down to look her in the eye.

“I will never forgive you for hurting my best friend. Especially Lance.” Hunk whispered, lifting her chin up to look her in the eyes. Allura’s lip quivered.


“But, I love him enough to where I will help him forgive you.” Hunk smiled, and pulled Allura into a tight hug.

She helplessly sobbed into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his torso. She hadn’t been hugged in such a way since she had needed to delete her father’s AI.

It stung.


But in a good way.

Pidge burst into tears, and rushed to Hunk and Allura, joining in on the cuddle fest, sobbing uncontrollably. They were upset that Allura was the reason that Lance was unhappy last night, but yelling at her wasn’t going to resolve anything for the voltron team, so instead, they joined in.

Coran joined in afterwards, walking forwards and comforting Pidge and Allura.

Before long, Keith and Shiro were tugged into the bunch(much to their discomfort, but they went with it anyway), and they stayed like that for a few ticks, until finally pulling apart.

Allura was the first to speak.

“I think we all know what we have to do.” Allura looked up at the rest of the team, determination dripping off her tone.


Shiro grinned, Coran nodded, Pidge smirked, and Hunk gave her a thumbs up.

They turned to Keith, who had his eyes on a particularly interesting crack in the floor.

He sighed.

“I think I need to do more than that. I need to confess to him.” Keith mumbled, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

“Holy quiznak.”


part one

EVAK FANFICTION RECS / PART 11

Hi loves! So 2 weeks passed and I’m back with another part of my long-ass Evak fanfiction recs series, hooray! I never know what else to write here, so I’ll just shut up for now. All the fics can be found under the cut. Happy reading!

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics.
My personal favorites are tagged with a “ ★ ”.
Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “ ✓ ”

Keep reading