i'm sorry for the rant i just have a lot of feelings

anonymous asked:

I was salty about the changes in art styles in su until I read the tags in that post you reblogged. Thank you for educating me that they are VISUAL INTERPRETATIONS of the characters, rather than INACCURATE DRAWINGS of the characters. As an artist, I would feel awful if a lot of people criticized my art because they want it to look a different way than I had portrayed it. Sorry for being ignorant before. Yall work hard, and do an amazing job with the art on the show tbh

thanks! i mean i don’t work on the show, but i am pretty tired that nobody considers that boarders all have their own style and draw the characters in that style pretty darn consistently. i know who does “chibi steven”, who gives lapis what hair, and who makes peridot taller than others. none of that is a big deal to me - that’s how they interpret the characters, and there is no “on-model” version. it’s just your favorite vs least favorite boarder. 

it’s an annoying discussion, because it always turns into double standards: giving earlier seasons a free pass, comparing completely different boarders, or comparing it to shows that aren’t storyboard-driven. none of that is fair to me. i’ve even seen people - friends - get hate because they *gasp* had the audacity to show that “hey, this is kind of a thing with storyboard-driven shows, it’s not some scandalous, new ~crossing the line of animation quality :’( </3 ~ that su is doing”. 

people are allowed to not like ~inconsistency, even if intentional. i don’t care. but if animation “quality” matters that much to them, even when everything is intentional, even when each storyboarder is consistent in their own style, then, yknow… ok. keep raging on for another year, i hope it’s fun. 

i don’t say “get a life” often, but… geez. if they’re so focused on the fandom they either A) let a rage-bandwagon define how they feel B) focus all that time on something they legitimately hate, then… idk. i just feel bad for them. i’m not gonna answer asks about this topic anymore, though, whether positive or negative, cause here’s the thing: once you decide it is, every show is bad. literally anything can be accused of being shit, because this standard that you’ve decided is the “standard of quality” is defined by you. anyone can draw a line in the sand - i’ve done that with shows too. i just want people to be honest with themselves, on whether going out of their way to “prove” something su has always done - intentionally - suddenly makes it bad now is worth it or not. or whether they’re getting any enjoyment out of this at all. 

An epic Phan analysis awaits.

So. Yes. *Ahem* This is a bit nerve-wracking because of the comments I might get (but tbh I have a rubbish number of followers so it’ll probably just get ignored), so yeah. (long I’m sorry oh god I’m a nerd)

Here it is.

I love Dan and Phil. Like I actually, truly care about them in way that I’ve never cared for celebrities or internet stars ever before. Why? Because I can feel the love between them, and I know they are genuinely good people. I’m also their age (right between, actually). I can relate to their experiences, both of them. They click with me.

I also wholeheartedly believe that Phan is real. (well, no one can be sure, but I would bet a helluva lot of money on it). If you’d like to read my ramblings why, feel free! Or just keep scrolling and avoid my madness, idc. I’d understand.

Before I start, listen. I don’t really “ship” people. Not that I see anything wrong with it, but I just don’t - especially not couples that I don’t believe are possibly canon. It’s never appealed to me. This might be because I’m 26 years old and totally missed a ton of internet cultureguys, I was in high school when YouTube came out in 2005, so… The only other couple I have ever shipped was Brolin/Merthur because it seemed sooo plausible. I root for canon relationships in shows. That’s just me, but I don’t judge others! I’m totally a fangirl regardless.

For some background on me, not that it really matters, I have two bachelor’s degrees, a Master’s degree, and have just applied to PhD programs. I have traveled alone around the world and lived and worked in various countries, so it’s safe to say I’ve witnessed a lot of human behavior and interactions. I have also been in my fair share of relationships, had best friends that doubled as roommates, and even been in a secret “friends-with-benefits” sort of situation that escalated into more because I realized that I can’t, apparently, separate sex from emotion for very long (and I’m not convinced this is possible for any extended period, but I could just be a hopeless sap). I’m not saying that I know anything more than teenagers do. I’m a teacher. I respect teenagers. I just want to take preemptive measures in order to avoid arguments against me accusing me of being young/naive, because I’m neither of those things.

These are some facts that stand out about Dan and Phil that I just can’t rationalize if they’re platonic (though, again, I’m not some all-knowing oracle and could be wrong). I feel weird putting so much time and investment into such a creepy detailed relationship analysis, and have been avoiding it, but they’ve pulled me in… and I’m also starting to get really annoyed by all of the poorly-informed and thought-through debates that focus more heavily on opinions than facts. The real truth is that NO ONE KNOWS THE NATURE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. But I do think we can make a pretty educated guess. And here are the truths on which I’ve based mine.

1) They have never stated that they’re straight, so it’s wrong to assume as much. Even if we try to be fair and ignore old Formspring answers, we have no reason to believe that they’re hetero; all we know for sure is that Dan “likes vagina” (and also Evan Peters). Bi-erasure is so commonly talked about on tumblr that I’m sure you all understand this already, but it drives me crazy when some people spout out things like “They’ve repeatedly said they’re straight and not together, GAWD!!!” just… no. No, they haven’t. Why do people ignore Dan’s constant comments about guys being attractive? Phil’s much more quiet on the matter, but we all know what he’s admitted in the past (and he was in his 20s at the time, much older than Dan was when he claimed he often lied to get attention, and was probably much less likely to say anything untrue). Also, straight people don’t generally have problems admitting that they’re straight when asked. It’s quite telling that they haven’t.

2) They haven’t openly denied being in a relationship in YEARS. (A surprised Dan telling a phangirl no when she asked him on the street and a mouthed “no” at TATINOF don’t count, because what else was he supposed to do? But remember that the “no” did, apparently, follow a wink, so make of that what you will.) Why wouldn’t they put the phans to rest and just say “No, we’re not together” if they’re not? I refuse to believe that they’re simply manipulating us to believe in Phan in order to increase their views and popularity. If people believe that this is, in fact, what they’re doing, okay. Maybe it is. Maybe I am naive after all. I just think that they are better people than that, and if that were their intention, it would be played up much more than it is. Despite accusations of queer baiting, they’re actually very tame around each other. (I’ll get to that later).

3) They avoid stating that they’re single, at least in those exact words. Look at Jameela on BBC1 asking if they were and both just awkwardly laughing and Dan saying “Is it that obvious?” That’s evasion. So was their answer to the American radio interviewer who asked if they were married (awkward laughs and ”Don’t ask me about the future” instead of simple denial) or Phil reassuring a viewer of his live show that it was okay to be single without saying “I am too, I get you!” Not definitive in and of itself, but surely indicative of something.

4) If Dan and Phil were mixed-sex, ie if one of them were female, it would be much more difficult to argue that they’re platonic because of the whole “straight people of the opposite sex can’t just be friends OMG there’s always attraction there” (despite the fact that this isn’t necessarily true, it’s a common belief). Just an observation. So if two potentially gay/bi/pan guys live together, doesn’t that at least create a scenario of possible mutual attraction? At the very very least. Start to put these numbered points together, guys.

5) People wonder why, if they’re both gay/bi/pan (or even if just one of them is), they’ve never officially come out. That seems clear to me, and it’s also another reason I believe in Phan. If either one were to reveal his sexuality, it would immediately put pressure on the other to make a similar declaration, or at least to handle a bunch of invasive, personal questions. It would also basically force an official relationship confirmation or denial just because their audience would be relentless, and avoiding the questions would be just as telling tbh (as it already is now but x100). The best way to protect their relationship is to avoid stating anything concrete about their sexualities, though I do believe (or hope) that the hints we’ve been getting might be a gradual, unofficial coming out that won’t require any public declaration. If they weren’t together, Dan and Phil strike me as the kind of people who would have come out a while ago, especially Dan, since Phil is more naturally private.

6) I hate dredging up Dan and Phil’s private and largely deleted past, so I’ll just be general, but come on. Over the years, they’ve left a trail of evidence indicating a relationship so irrefutable that they’d be found guilty in a court of law if they were trying to defend their platonic-ness (if this makes sense).  At the very least they’ve created reasonable doubt that should mean anyone with common sense should be able to admit that a long-term relationship is a distinct possibility. And no one can tell me that the V-Day video was a prank. It’s much too genuine, detailed, and heartfelt, and not funny at all - shouldn’t pranks be funny?

7) There’s just the constant feeling that they’re hiding something and avoiding the elephant in the room. Sure, they play up Phan a bit now, at least more than they ever have, but in the big picture, they’re such small things. The occasional innuendo. Hands-on-heart. “Ironically” written vampire phanfiction (but goodness if that didn’t tell us how strong Dan’s emotions really are for Phil). We have ONE on-camera hug between them in SIX YEARS (2 if you count the tackle at the end of PINOF, and it was completely spontaneous). Yes, they always sit close together (their default, I think, which just shows their fondness for each other), but they generally avoid open touching that isn’t a pat on the back. And people think they’re queer baiting? I think the opposite. They know how to make fans happy, but they’re not going to make a total mockery of Phan and the idea of a physical relationship because it would turn their love into a joke. It actually makes me sad to look at collabs Dan especially has had with others because he is so much more unabashedly physical - hugging Caspar twice in their video and joking about him getting a boner because of it, touching hands with Tyler and saying that his crouching friend looked like he was giving him a bj, even Phil skipping around and holding hands with Dean was something he never would have done with Dan. Why? There’s clearly something to hide. Doing those things with each other, taking their affection up a notch, would increase speculation that might force a coming out, even though all of it was clearly a joke with other people. It’s sad they can’t just be themselves. They don’t even say very affectionate things (though we can feel the love through the screen in other ways, and the “I hate you’s” and “You’re the worst person in the world’s” carry a lot of subtext). I just think of Joe hugging Caspar from the back around the shoulders and saying “I’m so proud of you” in Caspar’s 5 million subs video. D&P don’t do that.

8) They just don’t act like roommates. It’s true that there’s not one “right” way to do anything, but look at other YouTube co-inhabiting duos. Joe and Caspar, for example. Yes, they’re shipped together, but so is basically everyone. They laugh about it. They’re very, very touchy with each other (*ahem* because they’re not hiding anything *ahem*). Their apartment doesn’t feel like  home, and they don’t seem to have many shared possessions. No one thinks that they’ll live together forever. Even Ian and Anthony moved into their own places, and stayed that way after splitting from their girlfriend/fiance. Why? Because they were financially independent and secure and wanted to start their own separate lives. Even if their friendship is as strong as ever, that’s all it is, a friendship. There’s just no great reason to have a platonic roommate for much longer than Dan and Phil have for anyone else in a similar position, especially since they’re both creeping out of their 20s and might naturally want to get their own place and look for a partner to settle down with. They’ve already done that. I think that if they live together for even one or two more years, that’s basically confirmation. Dan even said in the TABINOF audiobook “What if we ever don’t live together?” Not “when”, but “if”. 

9) Can we stop talking about 2012? Aside from Dan’s snarky denial comments on tumblr and some scattered live show moments, we have no idea what happened. He’s lied about plenty (both of them, for example, have changed their origin story multiple times, despite the fact that real phans know the truth, which not only indicates that they’re hiding something, but that they’re willing to lie to protect themselves for whatever the reason may be). If anything, I think Dan’s actions were of a protective person trying desperately to hide something important to him, especially because the video leaking had to have really hurt Phil - he wanted to protect Phil, and he didn’t care if he had to lie to do so. Moving further apart on camera may simply have been a way to keep their relationship personal and not for our consumption, to not make the same mistake again. If the video were a prank, and if Phan weren’t real, I don’t think he would have gotten so angry and defensive. A break up is definitely possible for around that time, which seems to be many people’s headcanon, but I just don’t buy it. Why would Dan have moved in with Phil that same year? I would never want to live with my ex, though I guess anything’s possible. 

10) Just look at everything. All of it. The whole picture. Not just what I’ve said above, but the shared vacations. The movie premieres. THE FACT THAT WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OTHER ROMANTIC PARTNERS FOR EITHER OF THEM IN 6 YEARS (and the phandom would have discovered this, no doubt). Their clear and obvious love, fondness, loyalty, mutual understanding, and even co-dependence. Dan’s occasional displays of jealousy in live shows. Little slip-ups that have gotten past (”the bedroom”, Dan’s duvet on Phil’s bed in the prank video and the pillows set up for two), sneaking off together at parties, never getting sick of each other. And yes, the old tweets and Formsprings, though I hope I’ve kept this analysis somewhat minimally invasive (we all know what tweets I’m talking about).

In conclusion? I would be much more surprised if they’re not together than if they are. 

But really… I just want them both to be happy. Their relationship is goals either way. Let’s leave them alone, stop arguing, and admit that we don’t know. They’ll tell us if they want to, or if not. (but I sure hope so)

I love (sarcasm) how exclusionists argue that we “shouldn’t post discourse in the ace positivity tag” unless we want exclusionists (aspec or not) to do the same, and that we definitely shouldn’t post in the ace discourse tag unless we want to argue bc apparently “discourse means arguing”; as if such a simplistic reading of what’s happening here is in any way accurate.  

i mean, our positivity is allowed to be whatever tf we want/need it to be unless it’s actually hurting someone. So no, you folks don’t get to decide what’s in there and you CERTAINLY do not get to poke your head in where you don’t belong and fucking ARGUE with us about it. Next time you feel yourself getting the urge to do this, just ignore it and it’ll pass I promise.

ALSO, the ace discourse tag is used by EVERYONE that participates in this discussion and a lot of aspecs have that particular tag blocked for their own mental wellbeing bc, as you’ve all made for fucking sure, the ace discourse tag is horribly abusive and harmful to us aspecs. 

SO YEAH, i fucking tag that shit whenever it applies and i don’t owe you a single fucking nanosecond of my precious time if you disagree with me. The ace discourse tag is literally just a fucking tag made to indicate/describe what type of discussion is going on. It’s definitely NOT a call for you to be assholes, interject yourselves where you don’t belong, and denigrate anyone posting under it that doesn’t wanna argue with you about the validity of their existence as both a human being and an LGBT+/q***r individual.

Stop thinking you can control us and our discourse, bc you can’t and never will. Just give it up already.

#BoostAceVoices

Malec battle headcanon

Okay, so malec is definitely a confirmed #powercouple and I’m so down to see a scene with them fighting together. But I also think it could be amazing if in reality they weren’t the most efficient team when fighting together because they would be way more concerned with the other person’s safety than their own. Like Alec would be too busy guarding Magnus’ back to notice the attacks coming at him, and the same would be true for Magnus so it just gets confusing for the rest of them. And Jace and Izzy and others have to save their asses on the reg and they’re salty about it. I mean obviously Magnus and Alec are great fighters, but some things are more important, you know? So neither of them are that sorry when they get yelled at after missions. Nobody can stay mad at them too long either because it’s actually pretty sweet, even if it’s annoying. But eventually they decide that they need to separate them during battles because they’re too easily distracted. And Magnus and Alec aren’t happy but they agree anyway, and then after each mission we get the relieved hugs like we saw in 2x10 because they’re just so happy the other one is okay.

8

She stared at the stunted legs, the swollen brutish brow, the green eye and the black one, the raw stump of his nose and crooked pink scar, the coarse tangle of black and gold hair that passed for his beard. Even his manhood was ugly, thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head. This is not right, this is not fair, how have I sinned that the gods would do this to me, how?

courf

a réagi à votre billet

“just a question, if you were ship marius w a les amis boy, who would…”

DONT FORGET THAT THEY GO ON WHAT IS BASICALLY A DATE

OMG YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT LMAO

courf and marius were like “let’s go out and celebrate!” or something, i forget what the occasion was (marius finally meeting a girl??) and they went out to like a romantic restaurant and i think courf paid??? jfc

i was just talking to someone else about how in my modern headcanon courfeyrac and jehan dated in the past, like in high school or something, but then realized they worked way better as friends and were besties from then on.

and then marius came along and courf harbored a crush on him for a while, until he realized what a precious cinnamon bun marius pontmercy is and how he must be protected at all costs and yeah aesthetic aside they really wouldn’t mesh well. but then they became besties too, like courf looks out for marius like no other.

and the whole time combeferre has been in love with him pretty much since they met each other but because it’s ferre he never said anything because he valued their friendship so much and didn’t want to make things awkward and honestly, it’s fine, so he rants to me about his crushes and romantic escapades, whatever. it’s. fine.

and courfeyrac honestly has been in love with ferre forever too but because he loves so freely and completely and ferre and enjolras are the two people he loves more than anything on the planet tbqh it never really hit him?? courf’s empathy is through the roof ok and yeah he’s pretty in-tune with his emotions but this one blindsided him because it’s ferre. and when he realizes what a giant gay cupid’s arrow he has sticking out of his ass for his moth nerd best friend he like quietly panics because ferre’s never shown interest in anyone let alone his extroverted bubbly flirty mop of a best friend so what is he going to do shit shit shit

and then mutual pining happens and jehan somehow becomes both courf’s and ferre’s confidante which is tragically hilarious, really, and results in a lot of poems about two idiots who can’t get their shit together (which the rest of the amis find fucking hysterical but combeferre and courfeyrac are like what are we missing what’s so funny??)

until they finally do, indeed, get their shit together, and BOOM. it’s like breathing, it’s so so easy, why were they even freaking out?

COURFERRE ENDGAME IS THE ONLY ENDGAME FOR MEEEEE

Ok I need to fucking rant about Jaden for a minute I’m very sorry. Something people always seem to miss, and makes it hurt more when they bash the show. JADEN IS US. He is litteraly a send up, to us. The first generation of yu-gi-oh fans. The entirety of yu-gi-oh gx is Kazuki Takashi giving us our own adventure in the world of duel monsters through this innocent, kind, bright eyed youth. This is how he sees us! Gx takes place TEN years after dm’s finale, but Jaden isn’t ten at the start of the series. Meaning as a child, Jaden got to witness yugis rise to fame. He grew up on duel monsters, the heart of the cards and being the king of games JUST LIKE US. GX is Kazuki Takahashi saying thank you to us! Say I’m wrong if you want, I don’t care. This is what I feel and why gx and Jaden are so important. Besides come on don’t be a snob all the series are goofy.

Despite how bad I’m cramping, I got 45 minutes of cardio in and I busted out a new workout that I’ve wanted to tackle for the past couple of weeks but have been too scared to try.

I’m slowly crawling out of my depression grave that I had been in for the past couple of months, I’m going on a solid two weeks with no alcohol and I’m getting back on my stride of exercise 6 days a week. I’ve also started to incorporate 25 minutes of yoga after every workout sesh and on my rest day.

I’m feeling very motivated and slightly okay about myself. I’ve started to get back out there and reconnect with family and friends. I don’t know if something just clicked or it’s part of the season change but I hope I can keep this feeling up. It’s difficult to try and motivate/be an encouragement to others when you can’t even provide that for yourself.

Guys I’m so feeling myself on the Tumblr like FINALLY haha you are HOPEFULLY about to know the real me and lemme just say I’m not shy and I’m awesome and funny and a bitch and rant a lot lol and after saying all that nothing is gonna happen bc once I “promise” smth on here I have no intention to do it whatsoever 🙄 just saying this so you won’t be surprised if I attack your messages or asks or just you (in a good way only) with my weird and pretty straight up questions or rambles so yeah

Also I’m at 249 followers rn what the hell it was 200 like..4-5 days ago? Okay maybe earlier then it’s fine but hi to everyone who’s new IM NICE don’t be afraid, I’m “brutal” only with friends so we are good 👌🏽 and btw to every unfollower - you hurt me and I’m crying every time somebody unfollows.. come back babes 😭 but tbh it’s all good byeeee I’m actually embarrassed now but it’s fine WE ARE GOOD Gnight 💕🌚
Bookworm problems

I’m gonna start ranting a lot on tumblr srsly 😂

So basically I live in a very small place,where book appreacition is ZERO ,absolute ZERO. Honestly,I am getting sick.I know this may seem over-reacting,but you know when you have fallen in love with reading for a long time now ,every book shapes your thoughts and feelings in some way.I mean,some books really DO have an effect in your personality,they can have so much power and build you up and change your view on so many things.So,I feel…I feel like my personality has been indeed shaped by every word I have read during this empty life of mine.Of course ,there have been other things in life that have shaped me ,just like other people as well,but it is sooo suffocating ,to just want someone that gets you.This is clearly not a rant that has to do with reading only,in case you didnt notice I feel very damaged. I’m not putting my words very well,I feel very strange.I’m an odd and strange ,and a deep person.I want to freak out with someone about everything and everyone whether they’re fictional or not.I’m very scared at this point that I will NEVER EVER meet someone that matches my soul,whether its a friend or a potential partner and I’m so tired ..Ugh ,and there is this boy in my class ,who made like a very very stupid comment.Like my professor was telling us to read Women in Love by D.H.Lawrence ,and his response was : Why on earth should I read a book about women?…LIKE SERIOUSLY WTF WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU STUDYING LITERATURE YOU WANT A BOOK WITH ONLY MEN IN IT LIKE I HAVE READ A GOOD AMOUNT OF BOOKS BUT I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED A BOOK WITH ONLY ONE GENDER CHARACTERS IN THEM I MEAN I AM SURE THERE ARE BOOKS LIKE THAT BUT HOW MANY ARE THERE AND HOW GOOD ARE THEY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY WHAT ABOUT MISSING ON GREAT BOOKS WHO INCLUDE BOTH GENDERS LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I AM SO SICK OF THIS STUPID COUNTRY AND THE FACT THAT I READ AND HAVE SEEN OTHER POINT OF VIEWS AND THE FACT THAT BOOKS HAVE MADE ME MORE OPEN MINDED DOESNT MAKE ME A WEIRDO YOU MORON.

Just so you know, I am going to start apologizing in parentheses, amongst other things.

If you see the parentheses, that means it is supposed to read as me thinking/whispering the words within the parentheses, and it means that if you do not feel like reading it, you do not have to, or that it is meant to be read in a softer voice.

I started doing this sometimes recently. I don’t know why. I just feel… secure? When I do this.

I apologize a lot, I mumble a lot, I rant a lot. I have trouble shutting up, and that tends to turn others away from me.

I am a very insecure person, which might stem from my childhood when people preferred my twin over me and openly expressed this, or just disliked me in general, therefore I want people to like me now, but in doing so, I just made more people hate me.

(I feel I may annoy some of you, especially with this post. I am sorry for that. Please don’t hate me.)

To sum it up: the parentheses is kind of a security thing. I do it to make myself feel.. safer? I’m not sure. God, (sorry). I rambled on again. (I’m so sorry.)

Also, I am going to make a new tag: Shiloh’s Stupid Rambles for when I make posts like this (that may be totally useless and most people may not pay attention to).

Thank you for reading. (Though I doubt anyone read/finished it.)

Akashi Seijuro is a very awesome chara in KnB.

He was misunderstood as a scissors-psycho at first due to his first official appearance but now that the anime-only fandom have seen both sides of Akashi and can finally understand him better, I just want to say…

IF AKASHI SHIORI WAS STILL ALIVE, SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A PROUD MOTHER AND I JUST CANNOT FATHOM HOW HAPPY HER SON WOULD BE IF SHIORI WAS STILL BY HIS SIDE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SHE WAS ALL AKASHI HAD WHEN HE HAD NO ONE ELSE IM SORRY I JUST HAVE A LOT OF AKASHI FAMILY FEELS OK

SOMEONE, ANYONE, PLEASE HUG THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF AKASHI SEIJURO BECAUSE HE DESERVES NOTHING BUT LOVE

Okay I’m still keyed up about so many things but I’ll start with this:

Lexa’s story is so unfinished.

So incredibly, tragically, and distastefully unfinished.

From day one it is drilled into our brains that Lexa is so special (but that is a whole ‘nother rant for a different day.) 

“Jus drein no jus daun.” That is Lexa’s fight and she didn’t even get a chance to raise her sword hand in it’s honor. She died before she was able prove not only to her people, but to herself, that they can be better. They can grow, they can flourish, and they can do more than just survive on war and the tips of spears and blood answering blood. They can live and they can love without fear of never seeing the next day.

But no.

No, no, Lexa dies with the legacy of failing to fell The Mountain and refusing to answer the unjust deaths of her people for the sake of something she never got the chance to demonstrate. She died before she got to truly tell the girl she loved how she felt. She died at a moment so pivotal to her story that it makes me sick just thinking about the message it sends.

Love is weakness.

That’s is the message I got. Loud and exhaustively clear.

no offense but i really dislike those ExR fics in which Grantaire is super broken/mentally ill and then Enjolras becomes his neurotypical knight in shining armor and saves him. 

I have nothing against neurodivergent R…But please don’t have Enjolras “fix” him and make him be “not broken”. That isn’t how mental illness works, first of all. Disorders are not fixed with love. It can help, definitely, but it doesn’t make the problems go away. Second of all, why is it always Grantaire that’s the one with problems? Why not Enjolras? Why not both of them? If I recall correctly (Forgive me if this is inaccurate - I don’t currently have a copy of the book with me, and I haven’t read it cover-to-cover in almost a year) Enjolras could definitely have neurodivergencies in canon. I understand why a lot of people write R as being ND, given his cynicism and his rants about how worthless life is, but Enjolras can be read that way too, tbh. In the musical we see him becoming really pessimistic and depressive during the battle. In the book we see him as this man who doesn’t smile or laugh much, and is sort of quiet and reserved. Sure, he could definitely just be an introvert that prefers to keep to himself, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Enjolras could have depression. Personally, I always thought of Enjolras as someone who thinks he needs to be perfect. Needless to say, that can lead to a lot of problems. But I never see that written in fic.


Also…he puts other people’s happiness above his own. He is canonly very selfless. The whole point of his character (or one of the main points, anyway) is the fact that he wants to improve the world and make it better for everyone! Not just his friends, not just the French citizens, everyone. And not only could he be rejecting his own happiness in doing so, but he could also get very depressed and anxious and angry when those plans don’t work. Let’s be real here, the world really isn’t always a good place. Not in 1832, and not now. I know that the Les Mis fandom loves Modern AUs in which Les Amis de l’ABC is fighting for problems that we deal with today (some common things I’ve seen written in fanfics are police brutality, racism, and Islamophobia). In those fics, Enjolras is always written as this super passionate guy who never gives up. That’s inspiring, sure, but if I’m being completely honest here…I don’t think it’s entirely realistic? Again, I don’t currently have access to my copy of the book, so I could be wrong, but Brick!jolras has always given me the vibe that he would get really down on himself if his plans to help out the world didn’t work. I don’t want to refer to Enjolras as weak, because he definitely isn’t, but I don’t think he’s necessarily as strong as people write him out to be. He isn’t perfect, as much as the fandom likes to act like he is. He’d mess up. He’d be unable to make a change. And he would hate himself for it, he may even consider giving up. He may see his failures as reasons to stop, rather than reasons to try harder - which is, again, something I’ve seen quite a bit in fandom. 

Apologies, I know this is quite ramble-y and possibly unclear, but it’s just my thoughts. If you need help figuring out what I was trying to say, let me know and I’ll make an attempt to reword it. 

re: maverique, aporagender, aliagender and third gender

this post was triggered by three posts (tw: violence) posted recently by @nonbinary-support​ arguing against the use of aporagender, which has in turn triggered even more posts about race and gender.

this post in particular is worth noting.

the above argument is typical of the argument being made against both aliagender and aporagender and seems to boil down to “POC said aliagender was shitty so that makes aporagender shitty by extension since aporagender is basically aliagender renamed.”

i personally have issues with the above argument, as well as with some things that the anon has said. it’s late at night, i’m exhausted and am full of feelings about this. as such, i’m about to rant. a lot. i made this an original post instead of reblogging and replying to the above post because this rant is directed at more people than just the mods at @nonbinary-support​.

tl;dr #01: neither aporagender nor aliagender are racist and the arguments that you are making are problematic as fuck. please stop.

Keep reading

lylilunapotter  asked:

2 4 6 8 10 14 15

20 (intrusive) questions

2) when was the last time you cried and why: a couple of days ago, because I was feeling very single, lmao

4) do you smile at strangers: no, I barely even look at strangers, haha. I’ll occasionally exchange eye contact in silent communication when on public transit (eg. that glance that says “yeah, that dude ranting about politics is annoying but we can’t actually do anything so let’s just roll our eyes at each other”)

6) how is your life different now from two years ago: I’m in grad school, and I have my own apartment, now. sweet freedom from my parents

8) are you a jealous person: envious, (as in, envy of people who have money and fancy shit,) yes. jealous? not really.

10) do you believe in ghosts: nope. at the risk of sounding like a pretentious asshole, none of the evidence people present for the existence of ghosts is sufficient to convince me. a lot of shit that people say is ‘haunted’ is anecdotal and reeks of confirmation bias.

14) whats your most bizarre pet peeve: oh god I have so many that are ‘strange’ in some way, let me list a couple

- the Fahrenheit temperature scale. just, its entire existence. it’s just so arbitrarily defined, good grief.

- anti-math sentiment and the glorification thereof, people encouraging other people to give up on math because “everyone finds it hard and boring anyway”, how badly math is taught in elementary schools, how a lot of math programs have a shit culture that is especially hostile to women and minority groups in general, etc. math is beautiful—I’ve cried over beautiful proofs—and it’s a fucking tragedy that it’s so badly taught that so many people grow to hate it. to be clear: I’m not hating on people who dislike math, I’m hating on the conditions of society as a whole that led to mathematics being considered this way. oh god, don’t get me started, I could write an essay on this, probably

15) what is your favorite memory: I got to go to this really cool physics camp when I was in high school, so my memories of that place are probably my favourite ones

I am not doing Soriel day

I am tired, guys.

Really tired.

Some things happened, people were jerks, and I have to deal with lots and lots of messages that are not nice. I am tired of repeating stuff, and I am tired of saying things that are actually on my blog and that you could go see if you actually cared a little bit.

Today was not a good day, and sorry if I replied to you and I was cranky. I’m just tired.

And I swear if I see another dumb ask I’m gonna throw myself off a window.

So yeah I am not doing Soriel because I don’t feel like it.

Let’s see if tomorrow I do anything at all.