i'm sorry for posting this again but we really need the help

post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

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How to become a good student (again) 4: Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband, cause I’m about to drop the p-bomb:

That’s right… p…p…pro…

PROCRASTINATION!

I know. I know. The moment has come, man. Procrastination has cost me so many hours of my life that I will never get back and I guess it’s the same for you.
Here’s a bit of a secret - the first three posts so far? They were actually also about procrastination. Specifically, they were about WHY you or I might procrastinate.
1. Because you’re overwhelmed by choices
2. Because, goddamnit, it’s HARD to to start
3. Because you have a screwed up relationship with studying

Now, in this post, we will be tying these threads together by looking at the WHAT and the HOW. You’ve examined the roots, you’ve gotten rid of the pesky little bugs living down there, so… WHAT is procrastination really and HOW do you defeat it and actually start studying?

Procrastinaton, for me, is a state of mind, a surround sound and most of all: a place - it’s LIMBO. It’s physically being unable to do something. Being caught in a web (very often the world wide one). Drowning in water. Being pulled apart, gaining momentum, losing control, cotton in my ears, the heat of shame in my chest, a thousand voices in my mind that I try to silence.

“You should be -”
“You have to -”
“You must -”

“Do something, do something, do something, anything, anything, anything, anything”
“You loser, you can’t even -”
“YOU USED TO BE GREAT and now you’re just-”

I hate myself while doing it. I feel horrible. I feel useless.
But at the same time, at the very bottom of my mind, there is something that I’ve refused to acknowledge for the longest time: a sense of pleasure.
Why
do I feel this weird sense of pleasure when I procrastinate? Why do I feel pleasure when I know I’m sabotaging my future through inaction? When I’m digging myself into a deeper and deeper grave? When I hate myself at the same time? Why do I procrastinate at all? Is it because of that underlying ironic pleasure?

Well, to find the answer to those questions, we first need to ask ourselves a bigger one: what is the OPPOSITE of limbo? If limbo is being caught in the middle of nowhere, floating, glitching, slowly imploding, then what is the opposite?
I’d say it’s movement, direction and action - you being in charge and moving things along, having agency, being alive and powerful and energetic and hot. I’d say it’s FLOW.

When I was a child, I had little to no problem syncing in and out of flow. It just came to me like second nature and I LOVED it. I loved the way my brain buzzed and I completely forgot about my surroundings. I loved disappearing into ideas, books, stories, video games, homework, a teacher’s lesson, a friend’s story, my own projects. I went in and out as I pleased and could turn it on and off like a light switch. It was so. much. fun. and I was so, so lucky to have had the privilege of such a talent.

Back then, I used to ache and hunger for a challenge. Things were smooth and easy and fun, but I wanted MORE - harder exercises, deeper questions, more challenging teachers. When I told my father about that, he smiled and said

“Be happy. You have put so much work into this. This is the moment it’s all paying off - you’ve turned and turned and turned your wheel and now it’s running smoothly along the street without even noticing how uneven the ground is.”

He was right, of course, but as time went on, I became more and dissatisfied with my smooth little wheel and started to procrastinate more and more. Why? And, again: where does the pleasure at procrastinating come from?

I’d argue that there are two main factors and one huge reason:

FACTOR 1: The wheel didn’t deliver on its promises

I already mentioned this in the very first post, but basically: disillusionment. I loved working hard, but I also expected it to pay off at some point. However, apart from the occasional pat on the head from a teacher or my parents’ smiles, there wasn’t all that much to be gained. There were no harder exercises, no special treatments, no big revelations - even university, my very last bastion of hope turned out to be a glorified bouncy castle.
I was just bored and the work I put into it wasn’t worth the outcome anymore. The system had failed me.

FACTOR 2: Suddenly, there were a lot of wheels

It is easy to glorify my younger self, but, really, child-me had it a lot easier.
Child-me only had one wheel to spin (school) and as I grew older, I realized that there were, well, many other wheels I had neglected.
I had a lot of catching up to do in areas like empathy, charisma, self-confidence and self-worth outside of academia, humour and fashion. And when I left school, there were even MORE wheels: suddenly, I also had to keep my job, my apartment, my much more complicated social life, my manifold hobbies and a somewhat healthy sleep schedule going.
I wasn’t prepared for this abundance of wheels. I’d grown up thinking that as long as I could keep the one wheel I was good at spinning (academia), I’d be juuuuust dandy. Well, I was wrong and I realized that, once again the system had failed me.

If only I’d had better teachers. If only I’d listened to the good ones. If only I’d worked the problem earlier. If only I was part of a better system that would recognize and foster my talents. Who knows how much I could achieve? Who knows how much I could have ALREADY achieved?

And that’s where the pleasure of procrastination comes from.
It is defiance. It is rebellion. It is a big “FUCK YOU” to the system that failed me. It is a “Look at me! I’m operating outside the system and I’m STILL getting semi-good grades. I don’t need any of you. I don’t need any of this. I’m playing by MY rules. I’m getting shit done MY way. Because YOUR way disappointed me. Because I am FREE.”

If, at this point, you’re starting to feel sorry for me (or yourself for being in a similar situation) …that’s exactly the problem. There’s really no way to say this nicely, so here we go:

PROCRASTINATION IS NO MORE AND NO LESS THAN A GLORIFIED VICTIM COMPLEX.

Let me explain.
When you procrastinate, doesn’t it feel like you HAVE TO do things? Like you’re being FORCED to do something? Like you’re POWERLESS? Like you’re STUCK? Like you’re SUFFERING? Like you’re AT THE MERCY of your negative thoughts, the system or you’re conscience? Like you’re being WHIPPED AROUND? Like you crave recognition of your SUFFERING? Like you don’t have a choice except RUNNING AWAY and not facing what you’re FORCED to face?

All of these thoughts and emotions put you in the position of a sufferer - a victim.

You see yourself as a victim of the system, the school, the state, the assignment you should be working on. You deliver yourself unto their power. You submit to a simple dichotomy: I HAVE to do this or I SHOULD FEEL like shit.
I HAVE to do this, so I MUST suffer and accept the infringement of my freedom.

Well, let me tell you something that just about changed my life when I fully, deeply and profoundly realized the truth behind these words:

YOU 
DON’T 
HAVE
TO 
DO 
SHIT. 


…or a bit more eloquently put:

You’re the one in control.

No, honestly. You are. 

If you wanted to, you could throw it all into the wind, take the next train to nowhere and see where life takes you. But do you want to do that? 
And, the even bigger question: why do you feel SO powerless that this small, stupid act of rebellion against The System is enough to intoxicate you SO much that you keep coming back to suckle on its sweet, sweet bitter nectar?

It’s because you feel trapped. It’s because you feel lost. 
It’s because you feel like you have so much potential and it’s all going to FUCKING waste and if somebody were to just give you a FUCKING hand you could really show everybody just how much you can FUCKING do and-

-let me stop you right there and let me ask you 4 questions:

QUESTION 1)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are …but what’s the use of your intelligence if you can’t use it to improve your own life?

If you’re anything like me, you find it very easy and rewarding to help other people with their problems. You easily see the roots of problems and the ways that conflicts could be resolved. You’re an excellent trouble-shooter and a strategist in video games and for your friends… but what about your own life? Why do you ACCEPT playing the role of the victim in your own life?

Why do you accept this suffering?

Long story short: because you’ve grown used to it.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to make active choices, to exert your full agency and to take full responsibility for whatever mess might come of it. Leading me to…

Question 2)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but what’s the use of your intelligence if you don’t take anything seriously?

Be honest: when was the last time you took anything seriously and gave it your all? …no? Nothing?


Well, if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you know the neat excuse of “eh, I was just winging it, but if I REALLY tried-” and do you know what that is? It’s cowardice and it’s self-victimization.

I know I’m coming on very strong.
But the truth is this: I know this. I know this because I’ve been living this. I’ve been living a second-hand life that I allowed to be ruled by “the system” and guilt and made-up obligations …and I almost lost myself in the process.

Maybe you can realize it with me: It’s some time ago, I wake up in the middle of the night and randomly feel like taking an IQ test online. I’m still half-asleep, I roll onto my stomach, I don’t even sit up, I meander my way through the questions. Shit. I realize that time is running out and I haven’t even finished ¾ of the questions! I panick. I feel guilty. I finally sit up. I start trying harder. I’m getting faster and faster - faster than I ever thought possible. And despite 5 minutes of good effort - 
I fail. Hard.
And as I sit there in my dark room, my unbelievably sucky result glowing on the screen of my mobile phone and I look out of the window, I realize: this has been my life for the past 5 years. Winging stuff at not even 50% of my capacity and being hurt by the results. Honestly, when WAS the last time I took anything really seriously? 

The next day, I get 8 hours of sleep, sit down in front of my laptop with a bottle of water, search for the most professional IQ test I can find and concentrate from the very beginning. I score 30 points higher. 

Let me repeat that: I scored 30 points higher on an IQ test because I actually tried. Magical things can happen if you take stuff seriously.

Leading us to

Question 3)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but when was the last time your intelligence has brought you joy?

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “The burnt child dreads the fire”? When I thought back on my academic progress in the last years, I realized that there really hadn’t been much joy anywhere. Pretty much everything had sucked. 

Big time.

Of course I wouldn’t want to invest my energy into something that didn’t yield any good results … right?

Wrong. My lack of good results was only an indicator for the real problem: my lack of effort.
The simple truth is this: 
We are smart. We enjoy doing what we are good at. We enjoy hard mental work, REGARDLESS of the results.
But once I started to focus too much on the results and thought it was all about having a great CV and min-maxing my grades… I just didn’t have fun anymore. I didn’t allow myself to have fun anymore. To disappear into a world of thoughts like I used to as a child. To invest way too much time into a project, to have an absolute BLAST creating something complex and outstanding and super cool. 

Bringing us to…

Question 4) 
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but can you really create something extraordinary?

See that’s the thing: when I was a child, I didn’t just take school seriously.
I wanted to go the extra mile. 
And honestly? That was the whole secret. I wanted to create something that wasn’t just special but mind-blowingly special. It’s not like I knew I had it in me, but rather that I wanted grow to have more and more in me and I knew that the only way to do that was to challenge myself again and again.
That’s the difference between viewing your intelligence and your capabilities as stagnant or growing. There is no joy and no truth in regarding yourself as stagnant - the best of violin players started out sounding like a dying cat and the best athletes kept stumbling. If you want to create and become something extraordinary, you need to know that it will not happen overnight. You need to know that it will be a slow, hard and challenging hike up a hill and the only thing that keeps you climbing is your willingness to go the extra mile so you can see the view become more and more beautiful.

The real pleasure of studying is not getting good results and bragging rights - that’s just a cool side-effect. The real pleasure of studying is studying and that means working and knowing that working gets you one step ahead one step at a time.

So HOW can you change? HOW can you regain control? How can you consciously go from limbo to flow?
First of all:

1) RECLAIM YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR PASSION

The first thing I tell myself in the morning is “My life is in my hands.”
That’s not always an easy sentence to start with, especially if I haven’t slept well or if I’m sick or in the middle of a fight or an existential crisis or just crabby.
But it’s always true. It’s MY life and it’s my responsibility to make the best of it. 

One poem in particular has really helped me, so who knows, maybe it’ll help some of you guys as well:

The Vow

No matter how deep the sadness or wide the pain,
I vow to live for a brighter day will come again.

No matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past,
I vow to live and in the future avoid them, surefooted and fast.

No matter how many tragedies beyond my control take place,
I vow to live and stay my course within this race.

No matter how poor or rich I may ever be,
I vow to live and aspire to search for the dignity in simplicity.

No matter how much a lover may pierce the inner core of my heart,
I vow to live for like spring I’ll get a new start.

No matter how isolated and alone I may feel,
I vow to live and do something for someone else to heal.

No matter how hopeless my situation my appear,
I vow to live and reflect until my viewpoint is clear.

No matter what happens in this life – good or bad
I vow to live, do my best, and just for living – be glad.

– Malcolm O. Varner

If you want to find pleasure in studying again, you need to embrace your own passion.
I know it’s a lot “cooler” to be indifferent towards studying, to procrastinate, to do it almost out of spite and at the last minute. But is it really?
No one wins. It’s not rewarding. It’s not fulfilling. You’ll have forgotten it in a week. It just sucks for everyone involved. Love what you do. Love it like you would a lover. Be considerate, be tender and be patient.
It must not feel like an obligation. It must feel like a passion - a fiery want for new horizons, mentals fireworks and lightbulb moments. It must come from yourself, from your bowels, your fibres, your blood - not from some ominous outside force. 

“I have to do this.” -> “I want to do this!”
“I’m losing time. There is so much I have to do, I want to be done with this already.” -> “I want to give this my time. This is absolutely worth it. I really want to be doing this right now.”
“Be fast. Be faster.” -> “Slow down. Be patient. Cherish this moment.”
“This is hard. I hate it. I hate it so much.” -> “This is challenging. I love it. I love it so much.”
“I can make this perfect, it has to be perfect! I could give this my all, I can give this my all. If I’m not giving this my all, I’m a complete and utter failure. Better not try at all rather than screwing it up. Again.”   -> “This is a work-in-progress, just like anything else. I am sure I can improve it bit by bit, by devoting some of my time to it. Even if I don’t get very far today, I’m sure the experience will pay off in the long run and I might find some unrelated ideas for other projects!”

You must go from this:

To that:

2) MAKE ACTIVE CHOICES.

(Like, maybe make the choice NOT to wear that speedo)

Because that’s really what it comes down to in the end: CHOICE. Nobody actively chooses to procrastinate. Procrastination is the absence of choice. 

Years of little to no success make you feel like your choices don’t matter -> you feel like you cannot influence anything -> you might as well not try -> you procrastinate.
But here’s the thing: your choices DO matter (DITCH that speedo!) and you must regain that trust in yourself.

We NEED to be able to make choices about their own lives. It makes us feel powerful and like we are truly alive.
It makes us feel like we are, you guessed it, in the flow.

Now, of course it’d be nice if I told you “Make conscious choices sweaty <3 ;*” and you’d go out and do it and that was it. But, truth be told, it’s hella hard to get there and it will take you at least a year of constant effort.
For me, this year meant constantly asking myself “Wait, do I REALLY want to do this right now?” and establishing a neat rule for all media consumption that goes “Always enrichment, never escape”. But, as I said, that’s a work-in-progress and something that you will have to work on in your own time and at your own pace.
Luckily, I found a shortcut :D

Now, the shortcut does not replace the year of constant effort, mind you, but it can help to make it a lot easier:

THE STUDY ROOM

What’s the “Study Room”? Well…
You might have been wondering what the title “Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself” is all about. This was my thought process:

  • 1) I want to get from limbo to flow
  • 2) And I want studying to feel like a reward in and of itself
  • 3) And it’d be nice if I could concentrate on just spinning one wheel at a time, so I can really lose myself in it
  • 4) I also want it to be a conscious choice, so I can train my decision-making process
  • ….
  • ….but how?
  • …”fake it till you make it” or what, haha?
  • ….I guess what that really means is that you have to act like you’re already there until you’re there?
  • …so, like, you have to artifically induce naturalness?
  • …haha, wouldn’t it be neat if I could do that and “transform” into my “study-form” like the Avatar or a magical girl or a superhero or something?
  • …..
  • …wait. Wait. WAIT. What if I COULD?
  • What if there was a “me” that was specifically always in the flow and already loves and is good at studying and which I only access whenever I want to study?
  • So I create a new “me”, so that, over time, we can become one again and I can change into that “me” whenever I want?
  • …cool.
  • …but how?
  • I could always go to a special place, but that would limit me whenever that place wasn’t availabe.
  • …buuuuuut…..
  • …..what if it was a place I could ALWAYS access?
  • what if it was a place in my MIND?
  • ….
  • …..holy SHIT.

And that’s how the “Study Room” was born. Below, I will detail the journey to my personal “study room”, but I wager that everybody’s study room will look a little different depending on what makes you feel most comfortable, rational and “in the flow”.

STEP 1 - DETACH FROM LIMBO

Close your eyes. Lean back.
Do it with me now. Consider this your tutorial. Bring yourself to a screeching halt, throw an anchor into the the ground of the stormy sea, pull the brakes, just - stop. Stop. Slow down.
Close your eyes, lean back, keep your eyes closed for a good minute - god, how long a minute can be, right?- and feel your breathing consciously, slowly, feel how you are alive and full of hunger, feel how your heart beats, feel how much tension has built up inside of you, how much energy has been stored and how much you actually ache to do something meaningful. Feel it. Keep your eyes closed until you feel it. Then, come back to me.

STEP 2 - BECOME AWARE OF REALITY

I don’t know if you’ll need this step, but I live very much inside my head and limbo just makes that effect even stronger. So, I like to remind myself of my physicality, of my spatial realness, of my ability to perceive and interact with the world in this step. I re-connect with the world and it slows me down even more - it’s a bit like hooking myself into this world, so limbo can’t claim me so easily.
I drink a glass of water, I eat a carrot, I touch a cold tile, I feel the texture of a pillow, I play with my own hair - if I’m in public, like in a library, I usually just brush over my lips or grip the table unobtrusively. It’s a small step, one that usually doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds, but it’s one that has helped me a lot.

(When I’m really caught up in limbo, I usually lie down on the floor in my room. That works wonders)

STEP 3 - ENTER YOUR STUDY PLACE

At this point, I close my eyes again and visualize. I enter another world, the world of studying in my mind.

STEP 3A - THE DOOR

My eyes are still closed and imagine a dark, circular room: this is the entrance to my Study Room ™. I stand in the middle of the room - there is one door right in front of me, two to my left and two to my right. I have no idea what’s behind those other doors or why my imagination has conjured up a room like that, but hey, it works and here we are.
I gather all my concentration and repeat “My life is in my hands. I take on the responsibility for my own life. I WANT to learn. I CHOOSE this.” to myself. Then, I consciously choose to walk in only one direction, channeling all my thoughts into a straight line: towards the door right in front of me. I enter through it - somehow, I never have to actually open it, so it might be more like an open doorway?

STEP 3B - THE WATER

I step through the door and find myself in a space filled with water. I have absolutely no trouble breathing and I can easily swim, turn, glide and spiral like a dolphin. The water washes the last remnants of limbo off me, I feel my tensions washing away, my mind waking up, the wheel starting to move, my chest feeling lighter, my heart feeling hotter, my breathing going slow and steady. I swim in this liminal space for as long as I need to, I revel, I breathe, I wallow, I luxuriate until I feel ready to emerge from the water.
(wonder what psychologists would say about this little ritual - is it a literal re-birth? is this the womb? who knows? it works and that’s good enough for me right now …now that I think about it, that beach scene from Gravity might have been an inspiration. Man, I loved that movie already, but that ending?? Aaaaanyway, moving on…)

STEP 3C - THE WORLD

Then, I swim upwards and emerge from the water, head-first. The sun is warm and shines on my head and I step out of the water with bare feet, toes curling around grass and my lungs breathing in fresh forest air. Somewhere, a bird is singing, white clouds are languidly drifting by, all is warm, comfortable and good. I sit down on a giant mushroom by a tree (hey, don’t ask me, I don’t know), take a last deep breath and put pen to paper.
At this point, I open my eyes in the real world. I am completely relaxed, a thousand miles away from limbo, in another dimension even, calm and happy to engage with questions and wonders.

I’m in the flow.

In this world, I am a different me. A “study-me”.
In time, this me and I will merge again and we have already merged quite a bit. My walk through the Study Room process has become faster and faster and I am quite certain that, in time, it won’t take longer than a fraction of a second and it will seem like I can switch my flow on and off again like I used to. My study wheel is rolling again.

But if yours isn’t just yet, then …this is it. This is how, this is why and this is the very moment I re-connect with my “study values”, my passion and my agency, again and again and I choose to do it. Again. And again.


It is, really, all about choice.

And that’s the advantage I have over the old me. The old me studied because I didn’t know anything else and because I thought that I had to. 
The me right now chooses to study because I want to. And that makes it ten times more effective, more freeing and more fun.

So run wild, enjoy, actively enter that world of studying in your head, no matter what yours might look like (rain? palm trees? other planet? go bonkers!), it’s about choosing this and wanting this. It is about YOU saying “Yes, there are other interesting things and wheels out there, but right here, right now, I want this, nothing else and I will give it all of myself for as long as I want to.”

As you might have guessed by the gifs, I really recommend watching Free! Iwatobi Swim Club if you’re interested in overcoming procrastination.
(I swear I’m not sponsored by KyoAni, but for all their other shortcomings, their characters always have amazing character arcs when it comes to professionalism and passions) Both Rin and Haru are caught in their own versions of limbo and following Rin’s journey in Season 1 and Haru’s journey in Season 2 really helped me realize a lot of things about my own life and about how I dealt with passion, talent and my career.

The last part of this series will include a Q&A, so if there is something you didn’t quite understand or are unsure about, something you’d like to add or recommend to others, something you’d like me to explain in more detail or demonstrate through other examples, please, just write me a message (my inbox is absolutely open!) and I will answer it in Part 5 :)

Thank you for coming along on this ride! I hope some of my thoughts could help you and please, do let me know if my methods work for you - I’d love to know! :D 

Your life is in your hands,

-studyinstyle

I love you (And the Other 100 Ways of Saying It.)

Prompt: I love you (And the other 100 ways of saying it.)

It’s Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter Eight Year in Hogwarts. The new blooming friendship has started since the very next day after Voldemort died. Harry has visited the Manor to give Malfoy his wand back. They forgave each other. They let go. They moved on. Rebuilding Hogwarts for four months is also a good way to build a friendship, you know? Once school started, they have been quite close, closer than expected because apparently Hermione and Ron don’t come back. Somehow The Hogwarts Express has been awfully late.

1.      The next compartment is empty, but you’re alone. “You mind sharing a compartment? The rest is already full.”

2.      “Happy belated birthday, Potter.” Puts a small gift on his lap.

3.      It’s awfully late, I bet you haven’t eaten anything. “Stop staring, Potter, it’s rude. Here, I’m full anyway.”

4.      Idiot, stop kicking your blanket to the floor, it’s cold. Put the blanket in place and cast a sticking charm over it.

5.      “Here’s your trunk.”

6.      Cast a warming charm for the whole carriage. “What? The thestrals must be cold too.”

7.      “Welcome home.”

8.      Nonchalantly sit beside Harry in the Great Hall.

9.      Put two treacle tarts on Harry’s plate. “What? You like them.”

10. “Goodnight, Potter.”

11.  “Morning, Potter.”

12.  Slides a cup of coffee towards Harry.

13.  “Don’t forget your Charm books.”

14.  “See you later.”

15.  “How’s the day?”

16.  “Stop hogging the food, Potter.” Eat slowly, you git, you’ll get a stomachache.

17.  Casually put two glasses of water on their bedside drawer.

18.  Put an apple beside Harry’s breakfast. “You’ll die early with your diet.”

19.  Our first class is potion, will you be okay after Severus’ death? “You’re helpless, Potter. Sit back and observe, maybe you’ll learn something by being my partner.”

20.  Slap Harry’s hand away. “Idiot. Clean your hands.”

21.  “Remember, 7 times clockwise, Potter.” It will be dangerous if you stir only 6 times.

22.  “Finally, a decent result.” It’s a really good result, but let’s not feed your ego.

23.  You look extremely tired. “Stop being unmotivated git. Long day?”

24. “Don’t forget to work on your charm essay.”

25.  Smiles softly when he has finished his homework only to find Harry’s asleep on the sofa.

26.  Take off Harry’s glasses and fix his blanket.

27.  Check Harry’s charm essay and gives some pointers on wrong statements.

28.  Levitates Harry and tucks him in bed. Essay and glasses neatly put in their bedside drawer.

29.  “Wake up, Potter. Finish your essay.”

30.  “Your mood puts me in a bad mood, Potter. See you in DADA.” Cheer up, you git.

31.  “Fancy a duel?”

32.  “Impressive, Potter.”

33.  “That’s your best shot? Aim better.” Stop channeling your power without precision.

34.  “Focus, Potter. I could kill you.” Fuck you, Potter, that’s a fucking lethal curse. Thank Merlin you move.

35.  Grinning with twinkle in his eyes. “Nice duel.”

36.  I would love to see that expression on your face everyday. Don’t lose it.

37.  “Knackered?”

38.  “It’s Friday tomorrow, fancy a seeker match?”

39.  Your nightmares are getting worse.

40.  “You wish you’re the better seeker.” Whatever, of course you are better.

41.  “Nice game, Potter.”

42.  “We’ll crash the library tomorrow, Potter.” Your homework are piling, stop procrastinating, you git.

43.  Pointing the answer on the book. Rolls eyes exasperatedly.

44.  “Potter, accompany me tomorrow in the Room of Requirement?”

45.  “I’m brewing a potion. You’re here to distract me from sleeping.”

46.   You need this as much as I do, you git, that’s why you’re here. “Stop whining, Potter.”

47.  “Of course, you’ll sleep eventually.” Transfiguring the chair into something more comfortable.

48. ‘Modification of Dreamless sleep that doesn’t give you an addiction. Your nightmares are getting worse. –DM’

49.  “You are welcome, Potter.”

50.  Your nightmares are not getting any better. Are you okay? “Do the dreamless sleep at faulty?”

51.  Then why do you keep having nightmares?! “You’re still having nightmares.”

52.  “I’m so sorry, Potter. For all it’s worth, it didn’t fair.” I’m sorry. I hope they’re happy and proud wherever they are right now.

53. ‘Happy Halloween, Potter.’ Put a bag of Honeydukes sweets on the edge of Harry’s bed.

54.  “Happy Thanksgiving, Potter.” Put a large piece of Turkey meet on Harry’s dinner plate.

55.  “Look, it is finally snowing. First snow this year.”

56.  Throw a snow ball on Harry’s back.

57.  Have a happy snowballs fight.

58.  “Happy Christmas, Harry.” Put a Christmas present on Harry’s lap before leaving to the Manor.

59.  Put the charmed snow globe from Harry on the bedside drawer in the Manor. Thank you, it’s pretty. Mother and I’s miniatures look happy, playing in the snow.

60.  ‘Happy new year, Harry. May this year be good to you. –DM’

61.  “Stop slopping around, NEWT is just around the corner.”

62.  “Come on, I’ll help you with Potion.”

63.  “You don’t work hard enough.” Come on, Potter, you need to be better than this if you want to be an Auror.

64.  “Have you decided on your future career?”

65.  You’re one of the few who don’t think it’s an impossible job for me. Thank you.  Smiles softly.

66. “Do you ever think of applying to be a DADA teacher here? Or being recruited into a Quidditch league?” I just need you to know there are other options that will give you less stress.

67.  Well whatever your future job is, Harry Potter, please be safe and happy.

68.  “Stay away from dragon scale, it will trigger an explosion on your calming draught.” Stop being an idiot please, you could actually lose your life.

69.  “Good luck on your NEWTs.”

70.  “Potter, tomorrow is Charm, not Transfiguration.”

71.  “Here, have some.” Slide a box of Narcissa chocolates for Harry.

72.  “She’ll love that.” Yes, she also has been asking about you. I believe your visit would be good for Mother. Thank you.

73. “Ready for Potion? Relax, you’ll do well.”

74.  “How’s potion? Don’t tell me you blow anything.” Please remember potions can be lethal sometimes.

75.  “Remarkable, Potter.”

76.  “Cheer up, tomorrow is the last day.”

77.  “Thank Merlin and Salazar, it’s all done! How are you holding up, Potter?”

78.  “Can’t sleep either?”

79.  “Fancy a night stroll?”

80.  Rolls eyes swiftly and casually fixes the scarf on Harry’s neck.

81.  “You see that star? That is the reason Mother named me Draco.” Maybe you’ll remember the star, and you’ll remember me each time you look at the sky.

82.  “You’re a good company, Harry.” It’s nice being like this with you.

83.  Thank you for deciding in befriending me that day, you give me a new purpose to keep fighting. “Thank you.”

84.  For saving me again and again, from Voldemort, from the Fiendfire, from my own demons. For giving me a common sense to keep living. For offering your hand in friendship that day after the war. For trusting in my ability to become a Potion Master.  “Just for everything and anything, really.”

85.  You really are beautiful under the moonlight.

86.  “What do you think will happen after Hogwarts?” Would we still be like this? Could we? Is it ridiculous for hoping?

87.  “You really believe that?” Because I want that to happen too, for us to not stop being friends, maybe even more?

88.  Yeah, I like that very much. “Okay.”

89.  “Don’t forget your spare glasses, Potter.”

90.  “Seriously, you need to stop procrastinating and panicking on the last second.” Seriously, you don’t forget anything, just lock your trunk.

91.  “Tomorrow would be very different, wouldn’t it?” I’m afraid to go back to the real world. Are you?

92.  It might just be our last day meeting each other. “Accompany me to Hogsmead?”

93.  “Fancy a butterbeer? Come on, drinks on me.”

94.  “You what?” God, it must be a dream, right?

95.  “You’re being serious right now?” Cause if you’re not, I’ll saw off your balls and ship it to America right now, Harry Potter. If you’re joking, you’re a dead man.

96.  “Okay then, I would like that very much.”

97.  “Sleep fine?” You sleep as peaceful as a baby, I almost stop the train so that the bumpy ride doesn’t wake you up.

98.  “Mother said she will pick us up.” You sure want to visit Mother? It doesn’t have to be today, you know.

99.  “Mother, you remember Harry Potter? Harry, Mother. Mother, my boyfriend.” You git, stop smiling like you need to impress someone. You have a life debt toward Mother, just act normal. Salazar, help me, this is embarrassing,

100.  Marry me. “Scared, Potter?”

*

Bonus:

101.  “You wish.” Fuck you, I’ll be damned if I’m scared. I love you, you git.

7 times they noticed. (1/7)

(bc I need to make up for the langst I posted last night so here’s so comfort and a little bit of hurt. This is just Shiro’s, the other ones will be up soon. The only warning is a depiction of a panic attack.)


1. Lance winced as Shiro cut into him with words like he was expertly wielding Keith’s bayard. He would’ve found it funny how dad-like he was being, except: a) probably would cause Shiro to bail him out more, and b) it wasn’t very funny at all.

“Don’t you see how childish you’re being! This isn’t just serious, this is a matter of life or death, and your antics cannot get in the way. At the end of the day, do you want to be responsible for someone’s death?” The question sent a wave of nausea through Lance, and he was almost pulled off his feet by a wave of static that clouded his mind as something inside his chest burst. He grabbed his chest in alarm. His breathing was quickening. His chest was on fire. Oh god. Oh god. He curled inwards. Trying to protect himself.

“…” He tried to speak but no words came out, just harsh breaths as he lent against the wall, staring upwards through tears at Shiro who was frozen in fear.

“…Lance? Oh. Um… fuck.” If Lance was in any state of mind, he would have never let Shiro go for swearing in front of him, but as it was, it made Lance’s breath speed up. Shiro approached him like he would a possible hostile alien, slowly and with his hands outstretched. “Okay, Lance, if you can, put your arms around me and follow my breaths. Is that okay?” His voice was low and non-threatening, and in response Lance nodded slowly. His hands shaking as Shiro sat next to him, putting his hand on Lance’s arm. Shiro started taking audible, slow breaths. Lance winced as this effort made his breathing uneven, alternating from barely controlled slow breaths to shaky shallow ones.

“Thanks.” He choked out. Shiro shook his head.

“Don’t talk, just focus on the breathing.” Lance had enough humour to roll his eyes at him, and melodramatically breathed in and breathed out, causing Shiro to laugh, before his smile melted into a concerned frown.  “I’m so sorry Lance.”

“Don’t be. You’re right, of course.” Lance looked down, not willing to meet Shiro’s eyes.

“Just because you were goofing off doesn’t mean I should have said that. It was way out of line. I just –” Shiro trailed off.

“I’m scared too.” Lance responded quietly. “I know. I know that this is a life-or-death thing, but I just can’t think about it. I’m not like you, or Keith, or Allura. I have to distract myself. If I think about for one second someone else dying on my account I just –” Lance’s breath started to quicken again, and Shiro stopped him, beginning the audible intakes and exhales of breath once more. Lance found his voice again. “You’re good at that. Unsurprisingly.”

“Well, thank Coran actually.” Shiro smiled as Lance scoffed. “No really, apparently they’re quite common for Alteans as well as humans. I still get them occasionally, but they were really bad when, you know…” Shiro trailed off before gathering his thoughts once more. “Listen. Are you alright?”

Lance laughed nervously.

“Yeah, of course buddy, don’t worry about it.” He patted Shiro’s arm, got up from the ground and started to walk away when he felt Shiro’s metal arm on his shoulder.

“Really. We all deal with trauma differently, and I’m worried. These coping mechanisms are all fine and good until they start hurting you and other people.” Shiro was staring down at him and Lance shrunk under his worry. Of course Shiro was worried about the others.

“I’m really sorry I’ve been a pain.” He laughed, rubbing the back of his head in a mockery of sheepishness. “I’ve been distracted but don’t worry, to quote our lord Efron, I’ll get my head in the game.” Shiro’s frown did not disappear. “Seriously, dude, don’t worry.” Lance smiled.

“Just, if you need to talk, please do. Whatever problems you have are important, not just for the team’s performance, but for your health as well. Okay? And if you can’t talk to me, talk to Hunk, or Pidge, or even Keith.” Shiro insisted, gesturing emphatically as Lance rolled his eyes. “Please.”

Lance’s face softened, his mask melting away.

“I’m just so scared. What if I never see my family again?” His already tear-filled eyes began brimming once more. “And I’m so scared that I’ll mess up everything, I mean, how the hell can I compare to you guys? Keith’s an amazing combatant, Coran and Allura are the best at strategies, you’re a great leader, Hunk’s an awesome engineer, and Pidge is just a genius!” Shiro stared at Lance as tears spilled down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t notice.” He pulled his hands over his face. “God, and I’m supposed to be the leader.” Shiro straightened up, looking at Lance. “I can’t express how sorry I am. I forget, I suppose, that you’re children. But know we’re all terrified; and know that we couldn’t do it without you. Because your joking does help, Lance, it breaks the mood and reminds us why we’re fighting - for our humanity. You’re important.”

Lance stood in shock. He wiped the tears off his face.

“Gosh Shiro, you’re such an old man!” He started laughing.

Shiro crossed his arms and stared at Lance. His frown didn’t reach his eyes.

“Come on you youngin, we’ve got training to do.” He walked out of the room, shaking his head. Lance smiled. Maybe things were alright, even if he was just saying it to pacify him. Still. It counted.

perhaps.


Read the other parts:

(nb as of 6/4/17: Hunk is up (along with the Shiro and Pidge ones) others will follow! Edited to flow better, thanks to the anon who mentioned it.)

(nb as of 7/4/17: Coran is up!)

(17/4/17: Allura is posted!)

(this is platonic btw please do not tag as shance or anything similar.)

anonymous asked:

I think I hurt a rib. I don't know what to do. I'm not out yet and I've been using ace bandages. I'm incredibly stupid. I'm sorry. Please if you help me I'll throw them all out and find a way to come out. Please? I'm so sorry. I live in usa.

Ren says:

Hi dear! You’re not stupid - we understand the draw of ace bandages, but it’s really, really, really important that you don’t ever use them again. Okay, my friend?

This is now an official Ribcage Troubleshooting Post!

This post isn’t a replacement for a doctor, but it can help you figure out whether you need to see a doctor, or what you should do until you can!

Look at this cool picture of some bones. That’s your ribcage, pretty nice eh? We’re gonna use this to figure out what’s up.

To give you a general idea of what’s going on, let me explain what’s up. That big bone in the middle, connecting the sides of your ribcage, is your sternum. It’s super important, since it helps protect some Serious Stuff, and anything that affects your ribs likely affects it!

Connected to your sternum on both sides are your collarbones (clavicles). You can usually see and feel your collarbones, since they’re very close to your skin.

To give you a sense of which rib is which, ribs 4, 5, or 6 are usually the ones that are just underneath breast tissue. (Some people have more than 10 ribs, but the last one is the last one!)

The blue parts of this diagram are made of costal cartilage, connecting the ribs and the sternum. Where the costal cartilage meets your ribs is called a costochondral joint. Where the costal cartilage meets your sternum, on the other hand, is called a sternocostal joint.

Over top of all this bone and cartilage is intercostal muscle. They go in between your ribs, filling the spaces, allowing you to breathe in and out.

So just how many ways can you injure all of this by binding unsafely?

  • fractured bone
  • bruised bone
  • bruised muscle
  • bruised cartilage
  • torn muscle
  • torn cartilage
  • inflamed muscle (costochondritis)
  • not to mention all the stuff that’s deep down underneath - you can seriously harm your lungs, for instance

Here comes the actual troubleshooting part.

  1. Which area of your ribcage hurts, and what is the pain like? (Tender? Shooting? Burning? Throbbing? Like something’s tearing? An ache, a sting?)
  2. Can you make physical contact with the area? Does any physical contact make the pain worse, or do you have to press gently to worsen it?
  3. Is the skin hot around the painful area, visibly red or bruised, or visibly swollen?
  4. When you press at the very top of your sternum (in between your collarbones) does it worsen the pain at your rib?
  5. Does it hurt to breathe, or is it difficult to breathe?
  6. Are you coughing, or coughing blood or mucus?
  7. Are you experiencing fatigue (like you’re really really sleepy), or are you dizzy?
  8. Check your pulse. Open up a timer with seconds on it, find your pulse, and count for one whole minute. Here’s an ask about healthy pulses (although YMMV if you are chronically ill).

If you cannot make physical contact with the area, are experiencing significant pain and/or difficulty breathing, are coughing blood, or answered yes to #4, go to the hospital. You may have broken or fractured a rib, or something worse. You need immediate medical attention.

If you can make physical contact with the area but it seriously hurts to do so, and are experiencing any of the above symptoms, go to the hospital.

If you can make physical contact with the area and it only hurts a little, are experiencing some pain but mostly when you press the painful area, are able to breathe normally, and are not coughing up any discharge, follow these instructions.

  • Stop binding. No arguments. Do not bind until your symptoms are gone.
  • Take an NSAID. These are over-the-counter painkillers like ibuprofen and naproxen. Acetaminophen/paracetamol will not help with inflammation, but will help with pain.
  • Ice the area for 20 minutes (don’t make direct contact with the skin - ice in a ziploc wrapped in a towel!). Rest it for 20 minutes. Heat for 20 minutes (heating pads or warm showers help) and rest again. Continue to alternate this.
  • Rest. Keep your chest relatively elevated - do not lay down flat or lower than your heart.
  • Keep pressure off your chest.
  • If you develop any more symptoms or the pain does not go away in 24 hours, go to the hospital.
  • And the golden rule: when in doubt, get it checked out.

I’m not joking around here, friend. Your body is important and you gotta be kind to it! If that means you need medical care, so be it. As long as you’re safe.

I really advise that you throw out every single ace bandage you have, no matter what. The temptation is too great, and it is never, ever, ever safe to bind with ace bandages.

Let us know if you’re okay, anon. I’m sending good thoughts and hopes for good health in your direction. <3


Lee says:

Here’s some excuses to give your parents if you need to see a doctor and you’re closeted! It’s okay to lie to them if you need to go see a doctor. You’re doing what’s best for your health and that’s really important!

For the future, when you’re healed (don’t ever bind while you’re injured!!) you could try one of the following methods to bind without ace bandages.

How do I buy a binder if I’m not out?

How do I ask my parents for a binder?

I can’t get a binder. How can I make my own?

  • Ren made some sweet info on binding with sports bras (x, x) and we also have a post about binding with camisoles. If you’re binding with a sports bra, you want this type.
  • Please do not try to make a DIY binder. Chances are, it will not be safe and you could hurt yourself.
  • Binding without a binder

john and sherlock telling the story of how they met as a bedtime story, featuring: 

  • bickering over whether it’s dishonest or just dramatic effect to start with “it was a dark and stormy night” because “it was a very mild january afternoon” just doesn’t have the same ring to it
  • john as the Poor Broken Knight, which sherlock takes offense to because obviously john is the Knight of Light, to which john responds that he wasn’t the Knight of Light back then, he was a dreadfully poor knight with a broken brain that none of the healers or sages could fix, to which sherlock huffs but he allows it. 
  • sherlock as the Prince. “just the Prince?” “well, what else? the Consulting Prince?” “i rather thought the Pirate Prince.” “now who’s being dishonest. fine. you were the Pirate Prince.”
  • mike stamford as the fairy godmother, who tells the Knight that he will need to save the Prince three times, and the Knight is like, come on. who’d want me to save them? and the fairy godmother laughs and says, you’re the second person to say that to me today (because, you see, he also told the Prince that the Prince needed to save the Knight).
  • so the Knight agrees to go meet the Prince, and as soon as he meets the Prince he really does want to save him so when the Prince tells him to meet him at the Old Crone’s Tower the next day, he goes. “you better not let mrs hudson hear you calling her that.” “it’s fine, the Old Crone took an herbal soother an hour ago, she’ll be out like a light.”
  • anyway, the Knight goes to meet the Prince, and Tower is wonderful but kind of a mess, and it’s still a mess honestly and it would be nice if the Prince would take the rubbish out on his own sometimes. but the Knight can’t possibly imagine that the Prince will want him around, or he’ll get tired of having a broken Knight around soon at least, or– “john. john, no, even then, it was important. i wanted you here. it felt. it felt important.” 
  • then the Hunter interrupts, and tells them that a Dragon has been terrorizing the village. so they go to the scene, and the Knight learns that the Prince has the power of Sight, where he can See all kinds of things that other people can’t. “it’s not a magic trick, john.” “it felt like one.”
  • the Hunter’s Hounds bark and nip at the Prince’s heels, but the Knight isn’t sure if he needs to save the Prince from them, so he says nothing. “i should think not. anderson and donovan? i could handle them.” “oh yeah sure you did. mmmhmm. right.”  
  • so the Prince used his Sight to understand what had happened to the villager. “though the Prince did need the Knight’s help to See it all.” but then: poof! the Prince disappears! “sorry! i wasn’t used to having someone with me!” “i know, i know. it was very mysterious, though.”
  • and the Knight is kidnapped by the Wizard of Spooky Bureaucracy, stop laughing i couldn’t think of a better name, who threatens the Knight and the Prince. but the Knight defeated him by passing his test of loyalty to the Prince, and the Wizard of Spooky Bureaucracy transported him back to the Old Crone’s Tower as a prize, where the Prince was waiting for him. and so the Knight defeated the first evil. 
  • then the Prince took the Knight for a grand Italian feast, and cast a dangerous spell on him that healed his brain and let him run again. the Knight thought maybe the Prince was hitting on him, and he tried to hit on the Prince back, but the Prince– “panicked.” “oh, is that what you call that?” “yes. i hardly expected to get as far as i had.” “and the next seven years were just what? extended panic?” “…basically?” 
  • once the Knight was healed, they went back to the Old Crone’s Tower, where the Knight wanted very very much to kiss the Prince but they’re interrupted again by the Hunter and his Hounds. and the Hounds sniff and dig and unearth the Prince’s past, which was very rude. “i never did figure out why you stayed, after you found out, you know. about all of that. with your sister.” “i know. i thought about it a lot actually, about whether i was just signing up for more of the same. i’d given up on her because it was just a waste of my time, you know?” “so why did you stay?” “because i knew with you, it would never be a waste of my time. i would always fight for you. i will always fight for you.” “you’ll never have to fight that fight again, john. i promise.” “but if i did. if i did. i would fight it. you’re not perfect; i don’t expect you to be. i just…i only expect that you will let me fight for you.” “john. john. mmphhhhhhhmmm” “mmmm” “mmmmm” 
  • okay okay okay. anyway. the Knight knew then that he did have to defeat the Hounds, and he did defeat them by believing in the Prince. by listening to the Prince, even when the Hounds barked at him not to. and so the second evil was defeated. “and the Prince had just about fallen in love with the Knight.” “shh. we’re not there yet.” “i was, though. i was.” “i know. me too.” 
  • and then they had to battle the Dragon, who managed to steal the Prince away while making it look like the Prince had abandoned the Knight. but the Knight knew better already, and knew that the Prince needed him, and so he hailed a chariot and raced after them. and he arrived just in time to see the Prince doing something very, extremely, insanely stupid, and so he pulled out his sword and shot it straight into the Dragon’s heart. “it was stupid.” “i know it was. i haven’t a clue what you thought you were doing.” “i dunno. either i was right, and i deserved everything i thought we maybe could be, or i was wrong, and you wouldn’t have to go through the disappointment of me.” “sherlock holmes-watson. that is the stupid thing you have ever said in your life. come here.” 
  • and so the Dragon was defeated, and the Knight saved the Prince, and the Prince saved the Knight. 
  • and they didn’t live happily ever after, not quite yet. but they did start living, and that’s the thing about endings after all: you have to live through the beginnings and the middles to find out just how brilliant and fantastic and good the endings can be.
Meddling

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“PETER! OPEN THE HELL UP!”

Steve and Tony looked at each other and tried not to smile at the sound of a frantic Wade yelling for his boyfriend.

Ugh. Wade. Peter could do so much better. Peter is an honor student, he’s top of his class, he has a bright future full of opportunity, and he’s Tony’s son, dammit. And Tony doesn’t want his beautiful, perfect child in a relationship with a mercenary. Is that so wrong? Wouldn’t Peter rather date someone with more potential? A doctor maybe? No matter, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. As of now, Tony is just going to watch as his brilliant plan folds out.

Steve answers the door and narrowly misses getting punched in the face by Wade’s aggressive knocking.

“Oh, hi, Wade, it’s nice to see you today,” Steve feigned innocence, “Peter is in his room. Can I get you a snack or something to drink?”

“I’m good, Mr. Captain. Thanks.”, Wade grumbled as he walked past Steve and straight into Peter’s room, slamming the door behind him.

Steve and Tony froze and looked at each other in anticipation then scrambled to press an ear to Peter’s door when they heard muffled yelling.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, baby!”, Peter yelled back, sounding confused and exasperated.

“Oh, don’t ‘baby’ me! You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about! HASHTAG SINGLE?!?! THAT’S how you’re gonna break up with me?!”

“Wade, I haven’t even posted in, like, a week. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“OH! SO YOU’RE TELLING ME. YOU DIDN’T POST THIS FUCKBOY MIRROR SELFIE. AND YOU DIDN’T CAPTION IT WITH A ‘HMU’ ‘EGGPLANT EMOJI’ ‘HASH.TAG. SINGLE.’”

“NO, BABY, I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT POST, I PROMISE-“

“GO TO HELL, PETER! WE’RE THROUGH.”

Steve and Tony ran across the room and tried to look like they’ve been busy in the kitchen this whole time as Wade stormed out of Peter’s room and out of the tower. They decided to wait a few minutes before checking on Peter. So far, everything has gone according to plan and Tony is very happy about it.

After about 5 minutes, Steve gently knocked on Peter’s door,

“Hey hun, can I come in?”

Steve opened the door upon hearing Peter’s automatic lock slide open and found him curled up on the bed, furiously wiping his eyes. Steve smiled sympathetically and sat down on the edge of the bed,

“Hey, big guy. What happened?”

Peter tried not to cry as he rehashed the conversation he had with Wade while Steve pretended he wasn’t listening at the door and heard every word.

“I just don’t understand,” Peter said tearfully, “I never posted that picture. That picture isn’t even of me, that’s not even our bathroom! But Wade wouldn’t listen so now the love of my life hates me.”

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”, Steve chuckled and Peter couldn’t help but crack a half smile at his dad. Steve tried his best to cheer Peter up, but he couldn’t shake the guilt he was feeling. Peter wouldn’t need cheering up if it wasn’t for him. Sure, Wade is a jackass but he’s Peter’s jackass. If Wade makes Peter happy, who is he to keep them apart? He’s gotta talk to Tony about this, Steve can’t stand lying to his son.

                             ~                                                          ~                                                          ~

“Absolutely not.”

“But Tony-“

“Steve. Honey. If we tell Peter then we’re the bad guys. Peter will never trust us again! Let him be sad for now, he’ll bounce back soon enough and it’s like it never happened. It’s for his own good.”

Steve sighed thoughtfully as Tony continued tinkering with whatever the heck he was working on at the moment.

“Look, Tony, I know how much you dislike-“

“I hate him.”

“…I know you have strong feelings towards Wade, but I can’t live with myself after what we did to Peter!”

“Wait. What?”, Steve flinched when he heard Peter behind him.

Tony shut his eyes tight and cursed under his breath before dropping his tools and turning around to face his son.

“What did you do to Peter?”, Peter asked, narrowing his eyes at his parents.

“Nobody did anything to Peter. Go to your room.”, Tony snapped.

Peter turned his attention to Steve, “Pops, what did you guys do?”

“Steve, don’t do it. Be strong.”, Tony murmured.

But contrary to popular belief, Steve was not strong. At least when it came to Peter, that is. His son could give him that look with the puppy dog eyes that say “I trusted you and you betrayed me” and it’s all over. Any willpower Steve has will just vanish.

“We. Um. We sort of… shopped? For your photo?”

“Photoshop, Steve.”, Tony said as he rubbed his temples. He loves his husband and son but man, could they give him a headache.

“Yes, photoshopped. We photoshopped your face to another person’s body. Well, Tony did. And then we… hacked?”

“Yes, Steve.”

“We ‘hacked’ into your account and posted the picture for Wade to see. Well, Tony did. And we made sure the words under the picture would make Wade mad so he you guys would get in a fight… Well, Tony did.”

“Steve. We get the picture, dammit.”

Peter looked at his feet and took a second to process this. His own parents were trying to sabotage his relationship?

“Why? Why would you guys do that?”, he asked.

“We’re really sorry sweetheart”, Steve placed a hand on the side of Peter’s face, “We thought it was for the best. I think now we see that we were wrong, don’t we Tony?”

“Hm? Oh. Uh… yeah. Totally wrong. Won’t try this again anytime soon.”

“You mean that, Dad?”, Peter asked Tony.

“…Sure.”

Peter smirked. He had his Dad in a box right now and they both knew it. He might as well take advantage of this opportunity and embarrass him.

“Then would you mind calling Wade for me and explaining all of this to him? I’d like my boyfriend back.”

~request a prompt~

【 50% OFF STARTER MEME 】

This starter meme is completely based off of THIS starter meme right here, it’s just in a different format to accommodate players with multiple accounts as opposed to just one!! I take no credit for it and if you want to appreciate the content, give the blog a follow, please!!

  • “You can’t have sex with your neighbor’s backyard above-ground pool.”
  • “Let me help you out of that swimsuit– POOL.”
  • “I sure hope we become best friends! But I don’t hope we have a falling out, leading us to have a tense, emotion-heavy, dramatic, competitive, love/hate relationship later on.”
  • “So, anyways, I regain consciousness, there’s cops everywhere, (name) is covered in blood, got an ice-pick– haha, it was kind of a weird Tuesday.”
  • “We’re gonna be late for anime school!”
  • “I’m just saying, is it illegal if I’m in my OWN pool?”
  • “WHAT’S UP SLUTS?! GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON?!”
  • “(name) WAS A BITCH-ASS POSER.”
  • “Oh no, he’s hot when he’s sad!”
  • “This reminds me of prison. This reminds me of prison. This DEFINITELY reminds me of prison.”
  • “Look at that little pimp. He’s gonna grow up to be a prison ass mothafucka.”
  • “Let’s skip all the fluff and get to the part where we’re shirtless.”
  • “Homeboy looks like shark week, I ain’t messin’ with that.”
  • “It wasn’t a dream! We got arrested for trespassing! We went to JAIL!”
  • “Nah, man, we went to holding. There’s a big difference.”
  • “Yeah now we owe Easter Dave a favor– that is NOT a position you wanna be in.”
  • “Wouldn’t we have seen him around by now? I mean he is a bipedal shark-person.”
  • “I’VE GOT MACE!”
  • “Was macing us really necessary AFTER you remembered who we were?!”
  • “You took the fall for me and I said thank you.”
  • “I went to jail!”
  • “I spent 6 months at a correctional facility!”
  • “I stabbed a girl in the yard!”
  • “I think that guard you killed had a family!”
  • “Look at that majestic ass mothafucka. Like a dolphin or some shit. A dolphin with legs… and arms… and a jet pack.”
  • “BITCH GET IN THE POOL!”
  • “That’s how they do it in Australia.”
  • “20 bucks on jabber jaws.”
  • “Hey, man did you TiVo Glee last night?”
  • “I’m not allowed to watch Glee, my dad says it might turn me into something bad. A musical theater major.”
  • “Neither one of them even died!”
  • “They won’t let me back into sewing club because apparently when I threaten someone with sewing needles it’s deemed ‘inappropriate’ and I 'have to leave’.”
  • “I have to tumblr this!”
  • “A guy with emotional issues who swims away his problems? Lady, that’s the whole team, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”
  • “I ship them! And them!”
  • “They hate each other, but they also fuck each other!“
  • “Hey, we try not to get this part of the gym wet so whatever you’re doing is gonna have to stop.”
  • “So do you wanna come back to my place, listen to some Dave Matthews, and talk about my work out routine?”
  • “I wonder if that stuff I hid is still here? … Nah, cops probably took it.”
  • “Do you know? Do you know for sure? Because I don’t need another incident.”
  • “If I get out of this chair, I guarantee you’ll end up in one with wheels.”
  • “Okay. I’ll admit, I’m a little threatened.”
  • “‘Sup bitches!~”
  • “Aren’t you that guy who drowned a kid? And burned down that building?”
  • “Get back to it before you learn a lesson in post-war, urban torture practices.”
  • “Remember, snitches get stitches!”
  • “Shut up, you’re high as balls!”
  • “You’re just mad because mom and dad thought you were a girl for the first year of your life.”
  • “Right, son. And speaking of crushing disappointments—”
  • “Coach tried to get me to vandalize a police station again.”
  • “Good thing I wore my Heelies.”
  • “He’s so hot but so crazy! Which makes him even MORE hot!”
  • “Come on, let me get those digits baby!”
  • “It should be illegal to be that fine!”
  • “Oh, just basic addition and subtraction. He was subtracting from my profits so I’m going to add a few extra holes in him.”
  • “This doesn’t seem like the time for polka-renditions of Ke$ha songs.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love watching you go.”
  • “Yeah, I’ve seen him. He’s in my scrapbook class. He cuts the eyes out of magazine photos.”
  • “Your arrest record is extensive… and amateur.”
  • “The fact that you continue to avoid indefinite incarceration is insanity AND THE FACT THAT OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT CAN’T PUT AWAY SOMEONE WITH SUCH BLATANT DISREGARD FOR CONVENTIONAL CRIMINAL FUNCTION BAFFLES THE MIND.”
  • “I want that boy to be my bride!”
  • “Pilates will do that, man, works your core.”
  • “What are we waiting for? Let’s go bro! Let’s g’bro!”
  • “Wow, you sure said that.“
  • “WOOP! WOOP! Hold it, I’m gonna have to pull you over for exceeding recommended hotness.”
  • “One time, we went camping in the woods, I just left 'em there. Nobody found them for like 5 days. I don’t even think their families cared, kinda sad, really.”
  • “So, what you’re saying is, if they disappeared, no one would notice?”
  • “Well I’ve gotta go not talk to you anymore.”
  • “I learned how to swim the old fashioned way. When I was five my dad took me out to a lake and tossed me right in the water.”
  • “I’m so happy right now! — And it’s not just ‘cause I get to see you in a bunch of different swimsuits. Okay, I lied, I’m sorry, that’s mostly the reason.”
  • “SHE’S A WITCH! PUSH HER IN THE POOL!”
  • “Hey, I know you! You helped me smuggle some stuff out of the country! How’ve you been, kid?”

clarkesgriffn-deactivated201706  asked:

clexa college au fics? sorry if you've already done this, i'm on mobile so i can't browse your fic rec tag

hey there! first of all, SORRY for the delay. idk if I’ve done it either, so here’s some (also, only gonna include reasonably recent fics that either have been updating or are complete):

Help, I Need Somebody (Not Just Anybody) — IT UPDATED! IT UPDATED! IT UPDATED!

Open Windows, Open Hearts — this is the smutty fic you’ve been looking for.

Room 615 — lexa is the stoic RA, clarke is the annoyingly obstinate transfer student. read it read it read it read it!

Breaking Out — this is one of my faves :) check it out!

don’t wanna be your girl — filth. delicious filth. hilarious too!

A Forest Fire — this is painful but 100% worth it.

Chasing Shadows — lexa is a French hockey player, clarke is more of a rugby gal, and this is a super awesome fic. read it!

Rude Awakening — clarke doesn’t like early mornings. great one-shot with the possibility (please please please please please) of more chapters!

Butterflies — this is a really great take on love and how the media (and ourselves) portray it. Seriously worth a read!

Waiting For Love to Strike — football! striker lexa and midfielder clarke! football!

She — you know it, I know it, your dog knows it, your neighbour knows it, everyone knows it. but just in case you don’t, here it is. a fandom favourite.

Remember when (we used to be between the sheets) — my good friend Carmen does it again: an honestly great fic, sequel to between the sheets.

Civil War — “And Clarke Griffin opened her annoyingly attractive, opinionated, and this time entirely wrong mouth.” No words needed.

Habromanic — REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADD

Broken Rules — this is seriously great, a college and no strings attached sex au must read. read it.

To You, I Give Myself — ;))))))))

From You, I Take My Pleasure — ;)))))))) 2

The Favour — sweet and sexy, showing there is no right age for anything

April Fools — a fest of clexa hilariousness and sweetness. a great read :)

been lovin’ you for quite some time —CHRISTMAS!!!

She Was a Storm — haven’t read this one yet, but have been wanting to.

These Walls Are Paper Thin — an oldie that never gets old :)

There’s so many more, but then I’d take another century to post this. Besides, this is quite lengthy already, isn’t it? I think so. I hope you think so too ^-^

Why Tony Stark deserves better
  • When he realised his equipment was causing so much damage, he chose to change direction, even when everyone was telling him he was “crazy” from the kidnapping, but apparently he’s “selfish”
  • He said that he “shouldn’t be alive” and that’s why he wanted to change and do something different with his life
  • He had nightmares after NY (where Steve told him it was a one-way trip and he nearly died), suffered from PTSD, but of course no one cares about these minor details, and JARVIS died as well, but again, who cares?? It’s not like they knew how important Jarvis was
  • Steve actually stood there, saying “you’re keeping secrets from me, I can’t believe this”, and then he goes onto NOT tell Tony that Bucky killed his parents, which, because he’s not thick, he knows is something Tony is extremely sensitive about, but apparently this is all in the past and we shouldn’t focus on that
  • Tony says he’ll help Steve, and then finds out about his parents, and tries to kill Bucky, but apparently he should’ve ‘controlled himself’ and ‘over-reacted’, because you know, it’s just a video showing his parents getting murdered by the person he’s standing right next to, no biggie
  • Let’s talk about shithead Clint saying you should “watch your back” with Tony because “there’s a chance he’ll break it”, where he’s referring to Rhodey. Really? And Natasha’s whole double-agent thing. So Tony was the one being being too violent? Tell me more.
  • And it’s sad that Peter was sent home, because when Tony recruited him, he was probably like “oh we’ll just try and stop them with a friendly fight” but nah, because TeamCap doesn’t care and Steve wants to crush Peter with a truck, and paralyse Rhodey in the process
  • Because Steve, who awoke after 70 years, thinks he knows everything and knows that those 117 countries are the ones that are wrong, and this gives him the right to do whatever he wants, with no regards to any consequences, because apparently he can never be wrong
  • Because Steve, the righteous person he is, had the decency to send Tony a letter saying “I’m sorry, but not really because everyone likes ME now, so call us if you need us, I guess I’ll drop by, because see? I’m a giving person.”
  • Even that line - “I don’t want you roaming around by yourself” like Steve, kindly gtfo, you missed the “because I decided to breakup the Avengers because I’m better than everyone else and I know what’s best for everyone even though 117 countries may disagree”.
  • Steve didn’t deserve the shield. The “Howard made it for Steve, not Tony” excuse is bs, because YES, I’m sure if Howard was there and knew Steve’s friend was gonna murder him and nearly kill his son he’d say “well, I guess I made it for you, so sure, take it.” Uh huh. UH HUHHH
  • Tony was dropping Peter off, joking around with him, making video vlogs, because he didn’t want to tell him that his best friend nearly killed him - and he tried his best to keep him out of trouble, prepare him for anything (+ the training wheels protocol thing), even if it meant taking the suit, because he said that “if you die, it’s on me” but nah, he’s a bad role model and only cares about himself.
  • Aaand lastly, did Tony not try, and try, and try, to find a middle ground? He was there telling Steve to sign or do something, but nah, that thickhead was like “soz can’t do it, don’t even wanna consider it”, but sure, it was Tony who betrayed everyone, because he didn’t warn them about what would happen if they…you know…broke the damn law

I could go on, but you get the point. 

angsty starters ( + sad qoutes / song lyrics. )
  • "I love you enough to let you go,"
  • "I heard you moved on,"
  • "I didn't come here to hurt you,"
  • "Where did you go?"
  • "I'm sorry we fell in love."
  • "We'll do everything on our own."
  • "I'm so sorry,"
  • "You'll never understand."
  • "Please don't go,"
  • "I still love you,"
  • "I don't love you anymore."
  • "I never loved you,"
  • "I can't do this."
  • "We can't be together!"
  • "Will I ever see you again?"
  • "May we meet again,"
  • "I promise I'll do better,"
  • "I just want to see you, one more time."
  • "I'd give anything to see you one more time."
  • "One last time?"
  • "I don't deserve you,"
  • "You don't deserve me,"
  • "People like us don't get happy endings,"
  • "You still love me?"
  • "I never meant to hurt you,"
  • "I understand..."
  • "If you want to go, it's okay."
  • "I gave up everything for you!"
  • "I really need you to trust me,"
  • "Can you listen to me for once!"
  • "I cheated on you,"
  • "You cheated on me?"
  • "Don't expect me to come crawling back,"
  • "Shame on me, you fooled me twice."
  • "You said I wasn't just like anyone."
  • "Did I even ever cross your mind?"
  • "Can we pretend that we're in love?"
  • "I can't lose you,"
  • "Please go,"
  • "Don't you dare die on me!"
  • "I'm not losing you again!"
  • "I'm incomplete without you,"
  • "I will love you for the rest of my life,"
  • "So this is goodbye?"
  • "Kiss me goodbye."
  • "I loved them and they died."
  • "I was a bet?"
  • "You were nothing but a bet."
  • "Can you hold me?"
  • "I loved and I lost you."
  • "It's okay,"
  • "The worst day of loving someone is when you lose them."
  • "It hurts like hell,"
  • "I'm not coming back."
  • "You're never coming back?"
  • "What do you mean you're dying!"
  • "Come back to me,"
  • "What happened?!"
  • "They're dead!"
  • "Where's my love,"
  • "Don't do this,"
  • "I'll see you again."
  • "There's nothing we can do to bring them back."
  • "I don't want to be alone anymore,"
  • "You promised you'd never leave me."
  • "First love, you remember what that's like?"
  • "If I don't have you I have nothing at all,"
  • "I'm not going to fight you,"
  • "You're my friend."
  • "It's too late to apologize."
  • "You left me!"
  • "You left us!"
  • "You chose them over me,"
  • "I need you,"
  • "I was hoping that you'd stay."
  • "I never lied to you,"
  • "You said you might die so what the hell?"
  • "It's a bad joke,"
  • "We can never be the same again,"
  • "You don't need you,"
  • "You're not alone."
  • "You broke my heart."
  • "It made me think of you."
  • "You're my world."
  • "Do I wanna know?"
  • "So sad to see you go,"
  • "This is it, isn't it."
  • "Now I just sit in silence."
  • "Are you okay?"
  • "Are you hurt?"
  • "I'll go with you."
  • "How bad is it?"
  • "My feelings for you are real, they always have been."
  • "Someday you'll understand."
  • "Because I love you,"
  • "There was just something about them,"
  • "I'm sorry for breaking your heart."
  • "It wasn't an act."
  • "Time doesn't heal everything."
  • "This is your fault!"
  • "Tell me what to do!"
  • "I didn't mean for this to happen."
  • "Everythings a mess."
  • "You ruined my life,"
  • "Do you still love me?"
  • "You gotta get up, we have to go."
  • "It's okay,"
  • "It was nothing,"
  • "I'll do something."
  • "You're safe here,"
  • "Don't forget me."
  • "I ruined this,"
  • "You ruined this."
  • "Quiet is violent."
  • "You promised me!"
  • "Stop lying with those words."
  • "If this is some kind of sick joke, you better tell me!"
  • "You're all I have!"
  • "I'm not ready to say goodbye."
  • "I don't want to go,"
  • "I loved you,"
  • "You don't have to do this,"
  • "I'm afraid it's never going to be okay again."
  • "I'm terrified,"
  • "You're a monster."
  • "You're all I have!"
  • "I'm a monster."
  • "Only fools fall for you,"
  • "Everything comes to an end,"
  • "I thought I loved you."
  • "Now I just sit in silence."
  • "It's unbearable."
  • "You're my first love."
  • "I never wanted to hurt you,"
  • "I was here,"
  • "Help me,"
  • "They won..."
  • "You don't love them."
  • "You're breaking my heart,"
  • "I hate you!"
  • "It's a waste of time,"
  • "You're all I want."
  • "I've always loved you!"
  • "I can pretend anymore."
  • "i didn't have a choice!"
  • "What if it's agony now and it's hell later on?"
  • "Love I will let you go,"
  • "I left behind something great."
  • "I want you back,"
  • "I don't regret any of it, not if it kept you safe."
  • "Get over yourself,"
  • "You'll be the death of me."
  • "Everything just fell apart."
  • "What the hell am I doing here?"
  • "I want you so much but I hate your guts."
  • "I found love where it wasn't supposed to be."
  • "You still like them, don't you?"
  • "What are you doing?!"
  • "I did this to protect you!"
  • "Don't cry,"
  • "I'm not crying,"
  • "I'm dying,"
  • "A-Are you alright?"
  • "I'll come back for you."
  • "I've never felt so alone."
  • "You don't love me! You don't even know me!"
  • "I don't even know who you are anymore."
  • "I don't even know who I am anymore,"
  • "Please let me do this for you."
  • "You're one of the lucky ones."
  • "It's never going to be okay."
Second Chances

Words: 10.1k

Genre: Fluff / Soulmate AU

Warnings: slight description of a panic attack, swearing

Description:  Soulmate AU in which you get to see colours when you kiss your soulmate. Dan has a particularity.

Read on AO3 / @cityofdan made a moodboard for this and I’m crying


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

what's going on with anti and chase...? why does everyone want to protect chase all of sudden? sorry i'm lost

no dont worry about it! a lot did happen in like a couple days that it’s kinda overwhelming haha. im kinda bad at short summaries, but here goes:

jack started to play bio inc redemption, right after having anti show up in his “epidemic” video. because of this and bio inc predominantly being jack killing his patients in the game, people were theorizing that anti might appear sometime soon in the series (and jack kinda confirmed this, along with starting to reblog anti posts/fanart without comment again).

second episode of bio inc comes out, and besides schneeplestein being mentioned, Jack ALSO randomly names his second victim in the video, “Chase Brody”. Everyone then started to ask if this could possibly be the full name of Chase from Bro Average (who we already know and love). and again, jack confirms this WITHOUT COMMENT. people then start posting more about chase, including this post which jack liked as well.

considering that the “chase brody” patient in the episode was killed, and jack later hinting at anti’s involvement with schneeple in the 4th bio inc video (which schneeple was personally in himself), people were a bit wary of chase’s fate in all of this. someone ends up making a post saying that “ if Jack brings back Chase and kills him off or smth i WILL smack a bitch “, which Jack then LIKED.

this sends everyone into a frenzy, wanting to protect the poor dude (just let him see his kids ;-;) and then hours later a jacksepticeye easter egg is released for bio inc, as well as jack dropping SEVERAL MAJOR ANTI HINTS ON A SINGLE DAY(”damaged, glitched, and an “age of ultron” video) raising major Anti alarms (and thus protect chase alarms) throughout the community. along with reblogging more anti and schneeple stuff without comment, jack has reblogged and liked a couple posts about Chase Brody too (some silly, some really nice, and others…worrying).

so yea, at this point it’s been about a week and a half since the last bio inc video. and from all the hints it’s presumed that it will most likely involve anti, schneeple, and chase in some mysterious way. so for whether or not chase is gonna be ok, we’ll have to wait and see….

edit: jack reblogged a chase brody fanart with “a fallen hero!”  

gosh darnit  (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

random quotes from Super Best Friends play Final Fantasy XV

“I want him to just pick this thing [Carbuncle] up and eat it.”

“I remember that first trailer back when I was nine. This game took 85 years to come out.”

“Noctis looks like such an asshole I can’t stand it.”

In game: Find out what Gladiolus is weak to and let him have it.
Matt: “He’s weak to insults about his performance in the bedroom.”

“Prompto is the most boyband of them all.”

“When Noctis’s Papa Roach CD is done, the game is over.”

Patt: “I will rescue you buddy.” *revives Prompto*
Matt: “I rescued you with my magical boy hands.”
Patt: “My magical boy hands for my magical boy bands.”

“When teaming up with your buddies nobody can stop the amount of dicks you draw on each others faces.”

*seeing Ifrit in the first cutscene*
Patt: “The fact that it’s a perfect naked man that will not leave his chair–”
Matt: “I feel like at the end of my life that’s what I’ll be fighting. And I will fail.”

*imitating Regis* “So your boybands doing shit huh, what, you’re gonna go on tour?”

“Gladio can you please button up your shirt it’s distracting everyone.”

“Gladiolus looks like he’s from The Bouncer. In fact he might be from The Bouncer for all we know.”

“Gladiolus and Ignis look like that one guy from The Bouncer in the cactaur outfit put into two people.”

*Matt, imitating Regis again* “Remember Noctis, every moment you live is a disappointment for me.”

“And please… do something about your hair. It’s a constant embarrassment.”

*Patt, now imitating Regis* “You look like such an asshole, but, you’re my asshole.”

“It would really suck if he was doing the deed with Lunafreya, and he yells out some other dumb girls name in the Final Fantasy universe. Like ‘Oh! Yunalesca!’ and she’s like ‘Who the fuck is Yunalesca?’ ”

Matt: “Push the fucking car losers!”
Patt: “Push the car, and make sure that Gladio’s butt is the one that’s really in center there.”

“Why is Prompto always on the floor?”

“Wait, I don’t wanna play as Gladiolo– Gladiyolo, god–”

*after seeing Noctis summon his weapons* “No wonder she’s getting married, she probably saw that and went ‘Yes!’ ”

*sees Ignis walk off in the background* *Matt bursts into laughter* “Ignis is just like ‘fuck it I’m out of here!’.”

“I’m seeing photos people are posting of these guys taking selfies with themselves walking around in the background.”

Patt: “I just did a backflip slash for no reason, other than I think Noctis thought it was cool.”
Matt: “Well it’s because he knew Prompto was watching.”

“That should be the Logo of our channel – stop bitching, start killing.”

*Prompto starts singing the FF victory tune* “AHH!!– AH YEAH! ALL RIGHT, YOU WON ME OVER!”

*Ignis explains the Crownsguard attire* Patt: “Oh, so that’s why. They’re forced to dress boyband.”
Matt: “Or forced to dress like they just raided a Hot Topic.”
Patt: “It’s the law… So the King, that King? [Regis] Was like ‘everyone has to dress like this in my army’.”
Matt: “Okay, you know what? Fair enough. I never realize that.”
Patt: “That King is the weirdest old man in the world.”

*imitating Regis* “I want all the hot boys to dress in leather in my army.”

“Cindy, and one of these guys, I wanna help that along.”

Matt: “You know what this place [Hammerhead] needs!? It need one of those big inflatable floaty guys!”
Patt: “And it should be a cactaur.”
Matt: “Yeah! OH!! That makes me so excited!”
Patt: “There might be in here, who knows?”

“Why aren’t your lips moving Ignis?”

VOMIT WARNING (I know some people don’t like that, so just a warning)

Because I’m spiraling into a Voltron writing obsession, here’s another college AU, based loosely on my own experiences ayyyyyy *finger guns*

(Also you should definitely send me some prompts because I want to write more Voltron but don’t know what else to write)


“So I was thinking we could-” Keith started, but was once again, for what must have been the hundredth time today, cut off by Lance.

“-Hey, have you guys seen that video?”

Keith and Hunk groaned in frustration.

Shiro sighed. “You did it again, Lance.”

Keith let out an exasperated sigh. “Lance! You can’t keep-Lance! I’m talking to you. Will you pay attention for like, FIVE minutes? Or even TWO?”

Lance snapped his attention back to Keith. “Hmm?”

Keith clenched his jaw, frustration bubbling in his chest. Lance was completely unable to focus. On ANYTHING. He had been distracted and disruptive all day, bouncing off the walls and going off on tangents that were completely unrelated to what anybody was talking about.

Keith was exhausted just trying to keep up with him. Even Shiro, ever patient Shiro, was growing frustrated with him.

“What’s WITH you today?”

“I…uh…too much coffee, I guess.” Lance said, glancing around uncomfortably before hopping out of his seat and grabbing all his stuff.

“Lance, what’s going o-”

“-I have to go do homework!”

Keith, Shiro and Hunk watched as Lance hurried off.

“What…was that?” Hunk asked. “I mean he’s always been…crazy but not like THIS.”

“Uh…coffee, apparently.” Shiro frowned.

Lance burst into his room, his heart pounding in his chest. He was just annoying everyone, but he couldn’t help it. He tried, he tried SO hard, but he was completely and totally unable to focus.

He had completely forgotten to take his medication this morning, and he didn’t realize it until nearly five PM, and by that time it was too late. If he took it now, he wouldn’t sleep that night, and he needed to sleep.

He knew it was a lost cause, but he was going to try and get some studying done.

Instead of studying, he found himself spinning in his desk chair, staring up at the ceiling to count the tiles.

While he was spinning, some Velcro from one of his projects caught his eye, and before he knew it, he was taping half of it to the wall, and half to his hands.

Keith walked in right as he was about to launch himself off the bed and onto the wall.

“Lance!”

“Yes, roomie?” Lance asked, bouncing up and down on the bed lightly.

“What the hell are you doing? Get down!”

“I wanted to be SpiderMan.”

“You wanted to be spider-get down!” He cried, throwing his hands in the air. “I thought you were studying.”

“I was going to…but then I got sidetracked.” He said, slowly coming to a standstill.

“Okay, this,” Keith said, gesturing from the wall to Lance, “is NOT a good idea. Seriously.”

Lance sighed. “Yeah I guess you’re right - hey have you seen that video?”

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t…you need to be a bit more specific. What video are you talking about?”

“The…uh…guy who ate weed brownies and thought he was dead. Ooh! There’s this really good show on Netflix. The Flash, have you heard of it?Season one isn’t great, but it gets better. Have you watched it?”

Keith blinked. “No, I haven’t. Lance, are you alright?”

“Peachy. Why?”

“You’re all over the place, man.”

Lance’s face hardened, and he got off the bed and went to sit at his desk. “I told you. I had too much coffee.”

“Um…okay.”

Keith sat on his bed, facing Lance. 

He watched as Lance struggled to calm himself enough to focus. 

He watched as Lance tapped his pencil on the desk incessantly and rolled back and forth in his chair while he stared at his laptop. He must have gotten up fifteen times to go walk to their mini fridge and walk back to his seat.

Then, Lance straightened in his chair and pressed a hand to his stomach. A grimace crossed his face and he stood up.

“Lance? Are you okay?”

“Stomachache.” He bit out, gritting his teeth as he climbed into bed.

Keith frowned. “Are you going to be sick?”

“I don’t…maybe.” He groaned.

“What happened? You were fine literally a minute ago.”

“I’m fine. Leave me alone.” He groaned, curling into himself as tightly as possible.

“Lance-”

“-I’m FINE. This happens a lot. Leave me alone.”

“What do you mean?” He demanded. “Do you need to see a doctor?”

Lance let out a heavy sigh. “I have…nnngh…I have ADHD.”

“That…what does that have to do with your stomach?”

“I forgot to take my meds. This is a side effect.”

“Oh shit.” Keith said, his eyebrows shooting up. “Do you need anything?”

“I just need to…r-ride it out.” He groaned, gripping the blankets and writhing in pain. Sharp, stabbing, cramping pains were shooting across his abdomen in waves.

“Are you sure?”

Lance just groaned in pain, pressing his face into the pillow.

“Okay, I’m calling Shiro.”

“No-”

“-it’s not up for discussion, Lance.” He said firmly.

Lance whimpered in pain, squeezing his eyes shut.

Keith dialed Shiro’s number, keeping his eyes on Lance.

“Hey, Keith.”

“Shiro, we need you over here.”

“What’s the matter?”

“It’s Lance.”

“What happened with Lance?”

“He has a really bad stomachache…he’s writhing in pain in bed and I don’t know what to do.”

“Does he have a fever?”

“I don’t-Lance, do you have a fever?”

“No, idiot. I don’t have a fever.” Lance spat. “I’m not SICK, you don’t need to call Sh-Shiro…I’m f-ngggh.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t have a fever.”

“Give him something for the pain, I’ll be there soon.”

A wave of nausea rolled over him, and he got out of bed and made a b-line for the bathroom.

Lance slammed the door shut, and leaned over the toilet to empty his stomach. When he emerged from the bathroom, pale and shaky, Shiro was there.

“Are you alright?” He asked, pressing his hand to Lance’s cheek.

Lance batted his hand away. “I’m fine.”

Throwing up almost always brought relief when this happened. He felt mostly better, his stomach still hurt but it was nowhere as bad as before.

“You’re not fine.” Shiro said, shaking his head. Lance groaned, thoroughly irritated at all the attention he was getting.

Keith pursed his lips. “He says it’s a side effect from not taking his medication.”

Shiro frowned. “What? What medication?”

Lance clenched his jaw. “I have ADHD. I forgot to take my medication and that’s why I was so unbearable today.”

“Lance, you weren’t-”

“I annoyed you…I know I was.  I knew when I kept cutting you off.  I know how annoying I get when I don’t take them…I tried really hard to stop…to be normal, but I couldn’t.  I’m sorry.” Lance said, his eyes filling with tears. 

“Look,” Shiro started.  “I’ll admit…I was getting frustrated.”

“Me too, but dude, it wasn’t just that you were annoying.  We knew something was up, you’re not usually this…uh…”

“All over the place.” Shiro supplied. 

“Yeah, that.  You’re not usually all over the place like this.”

“We were just worried.” 

Lance looked at them.  “You were?”

Both Shiro and Keith nodded.  “Yeah.”

Lance sighed.  “I don’t really tell people,..ever.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell us?” Shiro asked. “We’re your friends. Did you think we’d judge you?”

“Well…yeah…kind of.” Lance muttered, bringing his eyes to the floor.

Keith shook his head. “Why would we judge you for that? So what? What…uh…is ADHD?”

Lance rubbed his forehead. “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I can’t focus, basically. Look, as much as I’d love to continue this…health lesson…I’m exhausted.”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah…thank you though, for telling us. We don’t think any less of you, you know.”

Lance hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “I appreciate that, thanks.”

“Get some sleep, feel better.” Shiro said, clapping him on the back. “Call me if you need anything else.”

Keith walked him to the door as Lance got back into bed. “Thanks, Shiro.”

“Anytime.”

Hey folks, it’s August now, which means my birthday’s in about 19 days. I normally hate doing ANYTHING for my birthday, but this year I’d like one thing in particular, and that’s to be able to get out of an unhealthy and dangerously toxic living situation with my mother. Please bear with me because I… Hate making posts like this. I hate having to make them. But this is going to be my last chance to get out of here while I can still have a hope in hell on my future.

When I was entering 11th grade, my mother pulled me out of school and made me move back across the country to live with her again. This was for a lot of reasons. She had been diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma, and wasn’t sure if she’d live through it. She had learned that I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and suddenly wanted me “close to home” where she could keep an eye on me. I was still a minor. I was living in student housing. I had no choice, because if I didn’t go back, she would cut off everything and I would have been on the streets.

That was in 2014.

She promised me she would re-enroll me somewhere local so I could finish highschool, get my diploma and go.

She didn’t.

She did go bankrupt, however. And drag both me and my father, whom she had divorced YEARS prior to this, into her downwards financial tailspin. My dad was lucky to get out when we moved- She didn’t want him with her when she moved into her boyfriend’s basement with me, and he didn’t have the stability, space or resources to send me off to school with him. She left him in an empty house. She even took the stove. The fridge. He had a dog with him for christ’s sake, and she knew he wouldn’t be leaving for another three days.

She is emotionally and at times physically abusive with me. I had bruises on my neck for a week where I was choked out when she lost her temper in an argument. I thought I was going to fucking die, but I was too afraid to call the cops. She told me that they’d never believe me, that they’d always listen to the mother, that even if I did win I’d just lose anyways because I’d be homeless without her.

She regularly tells me that I am not a man, that I am not trans- I’m just confused. It’s just me being manic, or whatever. Not like she will acknowledge my bipolar issues at any time other than to dismiss me. She will tell me that I can tell her anything, that I can trust her and she’ll always support me. And it hurts. It really fucking hurts, because that’s all I want to do, but I know she’ll just store those vulnerabilities like weapons to be used against me later. My dysphoria is just psychosomatic, I should toughen up and deal with it. I’m not having a depressive episode, I’m just being lazy. I have aspbergers when she wants to brag about it, for whatever fucking reason, but when it negatively impacts anything, I just need to grow up. 

And here’s the hardest part for me to ask, to get to, but… God do I ever need help. I’m never going to get out on my own because of this. I already have friends waiting to take me in once I have the money to renew my passport and shell them the cash for gas to drive all the way up here. I already have citizenship both in Canada and the USA, so that’s hardly an issue.

I have a ko-fi link on my blog as well as on my art-blog, @mavosathra. I have a paypal at Jennalele@hotmail.com. I will do commissions, I will write for you, if that’s what you want. But all I want for my birthday is to get out of here. I want to be free and safe.

anonymous asked:

Hi, help me I watch Woman Wonder and my friend says that is biphobic (???) w these arguments: "there is no talk of about love w women on the island and everything Diana knows about sex is bc she has read it in a book " "she only beats the bad guy bc she sees the boy dies so she doesn't care about war only about him " "censored her bisexuality w women and racialized women are the ones who take the worst blows" I'm not good w words help me to counterargument bc we have seen two different movies.

Oh boy…. Alright so as requested, I come bearing counter arguments. 

(And by that I mean, mostly the amazing @kara-danvers-lena-luthor comes bearing them. This is mostly her with commentary and backup arguments from me because like 95% of this is her pure genius and I love her). Ahem! So tell your friend to pull up a chair.

1) “There’s no talk about love with women on the island and everything Diana knows about sex is because she has read it in a book.” 

Okay, but there’s no talk about hetero sex either. Even though it’s IMPLIED that Diana slept with Steve, they never EXPLICITLY talk about it. Also, which is more important to the story of Diana becoming the GREATEST WARRIOR of all times? Showing her growing up and training? Or showing her growing up and sleeping with women? I guess the answer is obvious, don’t you think?

Diana’s sexuality was not the focus of the film. Why would it be? Love and sex were not the elements that made these incredible women who they are. And just as it is implied that she slept with Steve, it can be just as easily implied that she and/or the Amazons were sexually involved with women. (More on this in a bit).

2) “She only beats the bad guy because she sees Steve dying.” 

Hon, sweetheart, pal, buddy… If your friend thinks that, they truly don’t know WW. Diana, in the comics, literally blinded herself to defeat Medusa. Do you really think she would have stopped fighting Ares? The entire movie is about Diana completing the Amazon’s mission, which is defeating Ares! Believe me, even if Steve hadn’t died, she would have found a way to defeat him. Losing Steve just gave her an extra push to finish him faster.

I argued in a previous post against the outlandish notion that Steve is the singular hero of this film. He helped save the day, she saved the world. It was Diana’s fight and strong faith in humanity that helped contribute to her victory over Ares. In her fight, she never gave up, she had a moment where some would say that hope seemed lost, but she searched within herself and fought for what she believed in. She didn’t just defeat Ares with her brute strength, just as she didn’t defeat him because the man she loved died. Ares attempted to use that against her – her anger and heartbreak. He almost succeeded but in the end she was superior because of how she was able to rise above that. Defeating him because she was angry (which was not the case) would have served your friend’s argument, but that’s simply not what happened. Next.

3) “Censored her bisexuality.” 

First of all, we need to stop with this notion that in order for us to believe someone is bisexual their dating history has to be 50% women, 50% men! (THIS!!!). Secondly, Diana herself says that men are unnecessary for pleasure! What more does your friend want?? But yes, they had to be careful, because there was a lot riding on this project: the first solo female superhero movie, the first superhero movie directed by a woman, first movie directed by a woman with over $100 million budget… so they needed to make bank!!! They needed to make sure they wouldn’t anger bigoted people, and they did an wonderful job, okay? They made it clear that Diana knows women give each other pleasure, and that she also can fall for men. It’s not erasure, it’s called playing it smart!

I’m just going to throw in the idea of the double standard here, because with arguments that get thrown around on here, we would have seen it. So stay with me. Yes, we would all love to see a wlw Wonder Woman in the movies. And it’s not too late! Who knows, maybe we will! But let’s be real here, if they threw in something really quickly about Diana actually being with a woman, or if she were in a relationship with a woman before leaving Themyscira, that would have received backlash as well. Because it would have been quick and probably only implied in the background of everything else going on. If executed poorly, it could have contributed to the stigma and one of the primary stereotypes against bisexual people! She’s in love with a woman, she meets Steve, has her canon interactions with him, leaves Themyscira (and thus the woman she loves) behind and falls in love with Steve in the short amount of time they have together? Fact: There would have been complaints there too. Sadly, you can’t satisfy all the people, all the time. 

4) “Women of color are the ones who take the worst blows.” 

What???? I’m sorry, but from all your friend’s arguments, this point is the most ridiculous one to me… Seriously, take your friend to the movie again. After the battle at the beach, an Amazon suggests killing Steve to be done with it, but it’s a black Amazon who is the voice of reason and tells the Queen herself that they should listen to what he has to say. 

A black Amazon, Artemis, is portrayed as the strongest among them. She’s the one who hits Diana in the face during Diana’s last training. She’s the one that you see in the first scene of the Amazon’s training shaking off her attackers like they’re nothing. That’s the point! She’s a brick wall! The one to beat. And that isn’t racist. Honey that’s goals. As a black woman I was proud to see that bit! (Not to mention, Artemis was white in her original comic book appearances. She was portrayed as a black woman, I believe in later editions and in a 2009 film. The issue would have been making Artemis the pony-tailed redhead we see originally, but instead we got the amazing Ann Wolfe. So~)

Also after they listen to Steve, and Diana asks her mom to send the Amazons back with him, one of them asks, “What are you talking about, child?” To which Diana replies, “Forgive me, Senator” and guess what? That Amazon is black as well, meaning that they hold high ranks in their society. So I really don’t know what your friend is going on about.

This is a good segue to return to the issue of erasing the Amazon’s sexuality and still tying it in with issues of race. Fun little fact that I learned today:

Why is this important? Who is Phillipus? 

☝☝She is☝☝

Queen Hippolyta and Phillipus are lovers in the comics. Anyone that knew that probably would have been looking for it after finding out Phillipus was in the film. I know I would have been if I knew this sooner. Now it is true, that it is not blatantly obvious that the two are involved in the film. But complete erasure would have been ignoring Phillipus altogether. Instead, they had her, she was STILL a WOC, and in a position that would have more or less kept her at Hippolyta’s side. See where I’m taking this?

So anyway, woc were not just there to take the heavy hits. They show a woman of color with brute strength, they show a woman of color being the voice of reason, they show a woman of color in a high ranking position. It was multifaceted.

So there it is. Anything else? Did we help? 😃

TL;DR: NO. Literally no to everything your friend said. Just… no. kbye

anonymous asked:

Hi, Saori! I see you blog a lot about Sterek and I was wondering if you read fanfiction too? If yes, can you rec me some fics to read? If not, can you recommend a blog that you think recs good fics? I find your taste in Larry fics similar to mine and I was hoping you can do the same with Sterek as well. Thank you!

Oh boy, honestly I have no idea what to say, I’m just glad that not everybody’s fed up with my Sterek spams (probably a lot of people are but oh well) :D

First things first, you should check out @theofficialstereklibrary @wheredidhiseyebrowsgo @underappreciatedsterek @acountrygirlsfun @christinesficrecs @eternalsterekrecs and if you like Larry too then @nottooldforthisship recces  awesome stuff all the time, (her sterek fic rec tag is a blessing) (my fic rec page is kind of a mess, but you can find some there too)

As of my recs, I usually don’t do it cuz I’m always anxious I’ll rec something the other doesn’t like, but since you asked so nicely here are some of my faves:

The Undisclosed (109k) - For once the pack doesn’t panic when a new hunter arrives. The gleefully sadistic man has labelled himself a collector of all things rare in the supernatural world and wants one of the rarest creatures; a werefox. Content that the pack is safe, the wolves focus on why their human member is acting so strange, ignoring the fact that Stiles only started once learning who the man wanted…

I’ve read this like, how many times? Way too many to be healthy? Seems accurate. And I’m totally not re-reading it again, nope.

Baking My Way Into Your Heart (179k) - Derek is an uptight college student, all work and no play. His carefully scheduled life is thrown kilter when his regular barista is replaced with someone new.

This fic changed my life tbh.

As Luck Would Have It (I’m already smitten) (188k, WIP) - When Stiles meets his Dom for the first time, it’s nothing like the cutesy, lovey-dovey Subflicks he used to drag Scott to when they were thirteen. There’s no burst of sunshine when they collide, no sudden swell of violins when their eyes meet; only a really big dent in the front of his Jeep and a seriously pissed off Alpha glaring at him from the sidewalk.

When I see the e-mail I shut down and don’t even look up until I finished reading the update. It’s by far the most exciting fic I’ve read, and I read A LOT.

Do Not Go Gentle (108k, WIP) - Derek Hale, Beacon Hills Alpha, is thrown into a dark cell which already contains another captive.   Someone quite young.   Someone who’s clearly been badly treated.  Someone who cannot speak and who has a cruel collar around his neck.Derek is both a Dom and an Alpha.  What do you think he’ll do?

Same with this. Mondays can’t come fast enough. Dark, but worth it for me.

Home (160k, WIP) - January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

You can’t even imagine what this fic does to me. It’s everything.

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pandagirl7878  asked:

Do... Do you have any tips on drawing digitally? Specifically shading and all that?

Oh heck, erm well I’m certainly not the best teacher but since you asked so nicely I’ll do my best! |`・ω・)9

In general tips, one of the best things I’ve found you can do when sketching/sorting out proportion is to FLIP YOUR CANVAS! Because of the way we are taught to read, left to right or right to left, we tend to have a natural sort of bias in our head when drawing to make it slant left or right as well as focusing on different parts of the drawing, overlooking others.

Ever had that feeling that somethings ‘off’, but you just can’t quite put your finger on it? Chances are it’s a drawing slant or subtle mistake in the anatomy, but because of your eye’s bias you can’t recognise it easily. However, if you flip the canvas it tends to become (all too plainly ;0=0) visible!!

Here’s an example using a quick sketch of my persona, done without flipping the drawing at all:

I’ve been raised reading left to right, and so the left original image looks much better to me! Long story short - especially when doing the intial sketch, flip your canvas every so often to check you havn’t missed anything! You should definately see the results!

For shading… well, it’s quite a broad subject but I’ll try to just go over a few key rules!

1. DON’T SHADE WITH BLACK!!! (Unless it’s a monochronme drawing.) I see people doing this all the time, and it really ruins the feel of a peice and makes the shadows look odd and unnatural, destroying the depth. Instead, use a darker tone of the colour - here’s a comparison!

2. Colours affect other colours! When you’re drawing highlights from a light source, it’s important to remember that the colour of the light will impact how the object lit up will look. A good example of this is from when I drew one of @xgemdrawsx‘s ocs a while back:

Always keep in mind as well as where your light spource is coming from, what colour it is and use the colour wheel to help see how it will affect your subject! (full art image here)

3. Find the right brush for you! A large part of perfecting your shading is experimenting with different brush types in order to find the one that you feel works best with your style!

You don’t need to have a fancy art program like photoshop to get some nice brushes - sure they’re quite helpful, but if you’re a cheapskate like me you can download firealpaca for free and play around with the settings until you find something you’re comfortable with. If you look online or are a tech smartypants, you can even make your own from scratch for maximum customisation!

4. Practice and DETERMINATION!!! When you get down to it, shading is essentially just re-going over the same area, again and again, until it looks just right (which can take anything from 5 minutes to an hour). A lot of my bigger artworks take on average 8 hours each to complete (which is why I have to post so many gosh darn wips!), so don’t expect your work to look amazing immediately! It takes A LOT of hard work and a strong will to keep going, but the end result will always be worth it!

The best way to improve, believe it or not, is just simply to practice. Draw on the bus. Draw at home. Doodle in a textbook (or if your teacher’s looking don’t o=o). If you have an art block, search online, listen to music or do whatever it is you do for inspiration until you’re ready to go again and don’t give up!! You don’t have to draw ALLLL the time, but sketching something no matter how small or simple per day is always going to be better than nothing. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Anyways, I hope you found at least some of those helpful! If you have any more questions, or want me to elaborate further on anything at all, drop me an ask and I’ll answer to the best of my ability - now go forth and create beautiful art!!!

(。+・`ω・´)/ .*:゚:*. :゚: *:゚

if someone told me, on the day that i started this blog, that i would have over 1k followers within a month and a half, i would instantly laugh and say, “no way! that’s crazy. you’re kidding, right?”

well, here i am. a month and a half later with over 1k followers. i’m beyond SHOOK.

thank you everyone for all your kindness and support!! it truly means so much to me. you have no idea how happy i am. ;;

before i list everyone for this follow forever, i have a few special shout-outs (get ready for some extreme sappiness lol).

@jinstudies: jin, you were the first person that followed me and that i reached out to. it’s always a joy talking to you and sharing our struggles that come with being a music student, ahaha. thank you for being a lovely friend, and good luck with your phd studies! hope you can come to cal! :)

@sktjihoon: josh, you were the first person who messaged me personally and asked for my advice about how to get into uc berkeley! thank you for reaching out to me, and i sincerely hope that my tips helped you. even though we don’t always talk, i appreciate you for sticking with me since i first started this blog and for being so nice and friendly! hope to see you around at cal someday! ^_^

@hqstudyblrnetwork: i can never forget about my fam - @bokutodiscovers, @studytaken, @stvdybuddies, @jiyeonstudies, and @witoko. bokuto, aida, christy, kat, ji, soraya…thank you for being there for me and for being among the first few friends that i made in the studyblr community. you’re all such absolutely wonderful people, and i’m so glad that i met you guys and that we all share a love for haikyuu!! <3

@mango-studies: helen, you are such a kind and lovely friend. you’re so nice and smart and sweet! i genuinely appreciate you for reblogging my original content so frequently and leaving me such nice comments. it really means a lot to me! ^_^

@bionctes: lily, i probably wouldn’t have made it this far without your support. thank you so much for promoting me! you’re so cute and sweet, and i always enjoy talking to you and fangirling with you about yuri on ice, ahaha. you are a literal ray of sunshine. :’)

@astralwritings: alli, i’m honestly so grateful that we are friends and that you often reach out to me to talk about life, among other things. you’ve dealt with so much, and i’ve enjoyed seeing how strong and resilient you truly are. i know that someday you’ll go far and accomplish great things! keep on keepin’ on! ^_^

@kikkistudies: kiki, you’ve told a few people that they’re an angel, but in all honesty, YOU are a true angel. you are so sweet and thoughtful and too pure, you leave the nicest replies on my posts, and your overall kindness makes me happy to think that there is still hope in this world. you deserve all the best. :’)

@lavistudy: henry, oh gosh…where do i even begin? you are such a lovely and wonderful human being. you are so kind and sweet and friendly and pure, and i never would have imagined that someone like you would reach out to me and want to be friends. thank you for being there for me whenever i needed to talk to someone. thank you for cheering me on whenever i slayed my exams. thank you for all the music and anime recommendations. thank you for the late night conversations. thank you for all the memories that we’ve shared. just…thank you for EXISTING. honestly, you deserve all the flower crowns in the world. no need to wait for a cellist to notice you. kiki is right. you are a literal angel. <3

and now, time for my long list of studyblrs that i will follow forever! everyone is listed under the cut. since i follow back most studyblrs who follow me, i have quite a lot of mutuals, so my non-mutuals that i admire from a distance will be bolded instead! :D

thank you everyone once again! i still honestly can’t believe that there are literally over a thousand people following me. that’s incredible! i wish that i could give all of you a hug in real life, ahhh.

much love,
katrina

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