i'm sorry all i see is dean

SPN characters as things my friends have said
  • Dean: Im gonna leave this world the same way I came in, screaming and covered in someone else's blood
  • Sam: I'm tired as ass
  • Cas: This is not comfortable there are things in my ass
  • Gabriel: I wanna fuck the moose
  • Crowley: I see you whore go back to suffering
  • Rowena: I CAN LOCK MY BABY IN THE DISPLAY CASE
  • Charlie: If my art is disproportionate enough will it come to life and murder me?
  • Lucifer: I'm sorry I cause all the suffering in your life

You can’t claim to love Dean while wishing death on Cas.
How can you pretend to love Dean when you celebrate the death of one of the two people who matter the most in his life?
Dean loves Cas with all his heart.We may disagree on the nature of his love, but he loves him, it’s a fact.
If you want to see any of the three members of “TEAM FREE WILL FAMILY” dead , I’m sorry you are a cruel, heartless monster.

3

Wincest AU: Dean’s not great with the whole “chick-flick moments” thing, but sometimes there are no words to say.

anonymous asked:

43! Please! <3 <3

43. falling in love with their best friend’s partner au

From the moment Benny walks in with his boyfriend, Dean knows he is screwed. Benny has been bragging about how handsome his new partner is and how he’d hit the jackpot for a while now- but Dean would never believe him. Until he sees him standing right there, Benny’s arm around the broad shoulders covered with a dark blue shirt and leather jacket. Dean almost drops his beer.

The guy’s hair is a deep, dark brown, almost black in this light and his body is a good example of perfect.

Dean never fights over people with Benny, they always had a good feeling about who was into which person and Dean has always been easy with letting it go and giving Benny what he wants. But he already feels the jealousy rising as he stands and watches. When Benny catches his glance, he waves and gestures to come over. Dean puts his empty beer away and approaches Benny and the guy, curling his shaking hands in a fist to calm them down.

“Hey brother,” Benny says and his hand slips from the guy’s shoulders. He pulls Dean into a hug and he hugs back, strong and short. When he pulls away, the other guy holds out his hand.

“I’m Castiel.” He says with a deep voice. Dean takes his hand a bit too fast and a bit too long as he says his name, but the guy doesn’t seem to mind. He shares a quick look with Benny and gestures. “Benny’s boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard,” Dean admits and can’t help his eyes from wandering. “He told me a lot about you.”

“He did?” Castiel frowns and tilts his head to Benny, who shrugs and smiles.

“Only good things, Cas. I’ll get you a beer. Dean?”

Dean nods and suddenly he’s alone with Castiel.

“So, Dean,” Castiel says as he stands closer to let a few people pass. “This party is yours?”

“My brother’s, actually,” Dean says as he gets a hint of Castiel’s aftershave- sandalwood and something flowery, sweet but not too thick, a perfect balance, and he feels the blue eyes burn on his skin. “He’s turning eighteen, so he wanted something a little bigger.”

“Congratulations,” Castiel says politely. Dean smiles, dazzled by the way Cas loosely ruffles his hair as he looks for Benny. He appears a few moments later with three beer. They talk for a while, but Dean has a hard time keeping his eyes off Castiel. It gets to the point where he becomes agitated by himself, knowing that what he’s feeling is wrong and he walks away from them at last- too tense to act normal.

He doesn’t know if he should feel upset or thankful when Benny and Cas leave, but Castiel’s eyes stay with him until late that night.

Dean hoped that it would get less painful over time, seeing Benny and Castiel together. But the more they meet up or hang out together, the more it bothers Dean. Whenever he’s around Castiel he feels warmer, more comfortable despite it being awkward as well. It doesn’t help that Castiel shows interest in him as well- at least, they talk a lot, Cas laughs at his jokes, he started hugging him the third time they met and Cas doesn’t seem to be bothered by personal space.

Despite not being able to get enough of it, Dean feels wrong. Cas is Benny’s boyfriend, and though they aren’t a sappy couple, Dean can’t just flirt with Castiel like he wants to.  

So he goes home every night feeling empty and alone as he tries to ignore the image of Benny’s arm around Castiel’s waist and focus on Castiel’s hand on Dean’s shoulder before, but all it makes him feel is treacherous and an ass.

It’s one of those nights that he leaves alone again, feeling torn. Castiel had talked with him all night and Benny had mainly focused on Meg and Charlie. Dean and Cas had sat aside a little as Cas talked about the names of stars and Dean listened, quickly distracted by Castiel’s glistening eyes and the curve of his lips. Castiel had hugged him gently when they left, longer than normal.

“It was good to see you again, Dean.” He’d said, face close to Dean’s. “Until next time.”

Dean had stuttered something back and now he walks his way home, alone and miserable.

It feels like he’s cheating while he isn’t. Castiel isn’t cheating, he’s done nothing with Dean. Dean isn’t betraying Benny, but his feelings are. The problem is that it won’t stop, he knows that much.

Once home, he lets himself fall down on the couch and turns on the TV. His mind keeps drifting. He doesn’t know how long he sits there and stares at the TV with no clue of what’s on. He hugs his knees close to his chest. His bare feet are cold and he rubs them warm, just as the doorbell rings. It’s almost midnight. The only person he can think of to come by at this hour is Sam when there’s something wrong, so he hurries to the door.

Dean has a moment to realize that it’s, in fact, Castiel standing in front of him, then his thoughts are shut off as Cas steps inside and kisses him full on his lips. It’s only for a few moments before Dean pulls away, the butterflies in his stomach pushed away by his confusion.

“What- what the- what about Benny?” He manages to stutter.

Castiel looks at him with those irresistible blue eyes and closes the door with his foot.

“We broke up. I… I couldn’t ignore what was happening between you and me and Benny felt like he was drifting away from me. We didn’t work out.” Cas looks down, embarrassed suddenly. “I should’ve… I’m sorry I kissed you, I just-” He takes a deep breath. “Benny is okay. He wanted me to find what I was looking for and I already knew that you-” He gives Dean a quick look. “You’re very special to me, Dean, and I want you to know that. I’ve never met someone like you, you make me feel things no one else ever made me feel and I couldn’t ignore that any longer.”

Cas is panting softly and Dean doesn’t know what he should say.

Benny is okay, he’s sure Castiel isn’t lying, and Castiel just confessed to him how he feels. The butterflies start fluttering again.

“Are you sure?” Dean whispers softly. “About Benny, about… us?”

“Yes.”

Dean looks at Cas in silence as his mind tries to settle all the information. In a sudden movement, he grabs the collar of Castiel’s jacket and pushes him against the wall, kissing him for a second time. Cas leans in, eagerly, and runs his fingers through Dean’s hair with a soft, satisfied hum.

“I felt wrong for wanting this,” Cas mutters against his lips. “But it doesn’t feel wrong at all.”

Dean chuckles against Castiel’s lips, softly nudging him over to the living room.

“Me too,” he admits, trying to slip off Cas’ jacket and kissing him at the same time. “But if you’re sure and Benny is alright…”

“He is,” Castiel pulls away for a moment to focus his eyes on him. “I promise.”

Dean’s mind settles on the promise and he lets Cas’ lips trail kisses down his neck.

“Good,” he whispers.

Later, when they’re both lying comfortably under the sheets of Dean’s bed, legs tangled together and Cas’ steady breathing tickling his neck, Dean smiles and closes his eyes. As he drifts off, he squeezes Cas’ hand wrapped securely around his waist and can feel Castiel’s lips pressing a soft, tired kiss against his shoulder. 

Everything finally feels right.

Here it is! Me and Deano!

Probably not even a second after the photo was taken, Dean went “oh wow you’re tall!” and stood on his toes, then stopping the staff people and asking if he blinked (with the intention to make them redo the photo if he did).
(He hadn’t blinked)

So yeah. I’m still kinda going “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” in my head. He was so sweet! (And his panels were just awesome! :D)

Children are afraid of the dark.
Everyone knows that.
They are scared of all the monsters hiden in the shadows, of thier sharp fangs, claws, long limbs slowly crawling from under thier beds when they flick the lights off.

But sometimes…sometimes, children learn that the worst monsters can have a face of normal human. And after this discovery, nothing that could be hidden in the dark seems to be really scary.

Dean learned that after his mom died,they moved to new house, and his father started to drink.
Sometimes he just walked out the doors and didn’t come home for days. Sometimes when he came back, he was so drunk that he couldn’t even stand.
 Dean had to take care of everything. Of his little brother, of the house, of his always-drunk father. He always did everything the best he could. But sometimes it just wasn’t enough, sometimes he did something wrong. And that was when John got angry. So, very, very angry. He yelled, he cursed, sometimes he grabbed Dean’s shoulders a little too hard, leaving ugly, purple brusies on his pale skin.
He never cried in front of his father, he knew that It would only make him furious. 
But when he was alone in his room, he allowed himself to sob quietly into his pillow.
At one of evenings like this, he has met Him.
First thing that he noticed - He wasn’t a human, He looked like one, but… The shadows near him were darker, liquid black that was moving, looking like a living creature.
But that really doesn’t mean that He was scary.

He was more…. awkward standing in the middle of Dean’s room with His too big coat and crooked tie. You could even say that He actualy looked way more scared than Dean did. 
They looked at each other in silence for few long seconds.
’ I…I could read you. A book. If it would make you feel better’
His voice was low, a little rough. But there was a lot of warmth in it, and Dean decided that he likes it.
’…Sure’
The weird not-human man relaxed a little and picked up one of Dean’s books. Dean sat up on his bed, and hugged his pillow.
‘I’m Dean’ he said eventually, because it would be really rude not to introduce himself to someone who wanted to read him a story.
’ Castiel’ the man answered, sitting on the floor ’ It’s nice to meet you, Dean' 


From that night, Castiel became a constant presence in his life. They talked mostly at night, because Cas  felt really bad in the sunlight.
But sometimes, when John was especially mean to Dean, he would made an exception and show up in the middle of the day, throwing something from the shelfs or turning on the tv, radio, and lights all at once. 
He helped Dean with his homework and taught him a lot of things about the stars, the universe, and the history of the Earth. Castiel always had the answers for all Dean’s questions.
 And he was always protecting him and Sammy.
Like that one day…one day when John hit him.

And few hour later, he feel from the stairs, and broke his hand. Dean saw it. He saw how cold Castiel’s eyes were when he was looking at John lying on the floor.  That was the first time when he was really scared of Cas.
And he didn’t talk to him for a week after this incident.
Because John was still his dad.
And Cas couldn’t just hurt someone from his family like this. 

***

His eyes were sad when he spoke to Dean for the first time after a week.
'I’m sorry Dean. I won’t do this again’.
It was all that Dean needed to hear.
Because Cas was family, too.



Children are afraid of the dark.
Everyone knows that.
And still, the monster living in the shadows was the one who became Dean’s best friend.


They first met when Dean was not even 5.
When he leaved the house to live with his uncle Bobby with Sam at the age of 11, he manages to tell himself that Cas never was real. Just an imaginary friend .
When his father dies 12 years later and he moves into his old house again, he expect all those bad memories to come back to him.
But he never thought  that when he wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, he would saw those familiar, icy-blue eyes looking at him with worry. He never thought that he will see that man agian, looking the same as he looked the first time Dean saw him.
And for sure he never expected to hear that low, gravelly voice again.



’… Hello, Dean' 




let me introduce you to my newest Destiel AU
This was eating me for days, I had to do something with this story, so…
what do you think?
Should I continue this?

His mouth felt dry, as if he hadn’t had water in decades. Although, oddly enough, his hands were sweating, and sweat was beading his forehead. 

He moved his right hand from his side, moving it up to his forehead, down to his stomach, to his left shoulder, then right.

“Bless me father, for I have sinned. My last confession was sometime ago, maybe a few months” Dean almost didn’t want to continue, fearing that somehow his confession would not stay confidential.

He didn’t want to turn his head towards the screen, to the priest who would have to hear his horrible confession, and his dark secret.

“Continue” the priest said, softly, as if he understood why Dean was hesitating.

Dean coughed, clearing his dry throat, scratching it even more in the process; he would kill for some water.

“I’m here, father, to confess a sin I have yet to commit, but I know I will act out on it” Dean said, vaguely. 

The priest’s expression stayed blank, no emotion or anything in his eyes, or anywhere. He was like a statue, and that, for some reason, gave Dean comfort.

“I’ve had disturbing thoughts about another man, who I have found myself falling for, fast” Dean nervously chuckled, playing with his thumbs, his eyes focusing on the dust in the air.

The priest shifted a bit, his body facing towards the screen, his face still the same; maybe he really was a statue.

“What type of disturbing thoughts?” The priest asked, his voice still soft as if he knew what Dean was going through.

Dean wanted to laugh at the priest, ask him if he truly understood where Dean was getting at. Yeah, having ‘disturbing thoughts’ about another man is one thing, but what Dean was getting at was in a whole other ball park.

“Sexual ones, mostly. They started off as us kissing, holding hands, stuff like that” Dean paused, he was no longer playing with his thumbs,”and then they got worse” Dean licked his lips, trying to keep them from becoming cracked.

“How did it get worse?” The Priest asked, his voice slightly cracking.

Dean turned his head, his green eyes focusing on the priest on the other side of the screen. The gentleman was probably not much older then himself.

“I started thinking of him and I having sex in different positions, with so many toys. I began thinking of all the ways I could get him to scream my name, and vice versa. I even though about having sex with in my car, letting people see and hear us, letting them know he was mine” Dean closed his eyes, his dirty thoughts coming back to him.

The Priest face didn’t show any emotion, but Dean could feel that he was slightly uncomfortable with the details he had given. 

“Why does this bother you so much?” The Priest asked, a tint of confusion lacing his question.

Dean wanted to laugh at the fact that he had forgotten the one detail that made his sin the worst of all. How could he have forgotten about that?

“You see, the guy I think about isn’t just any guy” Dean’s eyes met with the Priest’s eyes,”this guy is my baby brother”

confession 1/?

sunshine-hunters  asked:

Hi Tink! THAT EPISODE I'M !!!!!* a glass case of emotion gif* why do you think they destroyed the Colt? Dean didn't get to shot it -not even once- this season and that has to mean something.

COLT = JOHN.

Well, you know, the symbolism (I think, anyway, and I did see someone else talk about it too today but for the life of me I can’t remember who, I’m sorry! If you see this feel free to reblog with your post link!).

Basically, as a nice symbolic part of the whole Performing!Dean facade coming down, it is awesome that the colt gets blitzed alongside all the other aspects of this:

The disillusion of Mary.
Letting Sam grow up and make his own choices and mistakes.
Cucumber water / Larry / making Cas a freaking mix tape with kisses on etc.
Bi!Dean.
Dean addressing his feelings towards Cas.
etc etc etc

Also, LBR it’s boring having a Deux ex Machina weapon (even though it can’t kill Lucifer, it is still kind of too good? that’s why they ‘lost’ it in the first place…

However, I still want Dean to find out that Mary endangered Cas for the colt…. but hey let’s see, there’s still a lot to go over in the last few episodes so there is bound to be some stuff that fits in the ‘they must have done that off camera’ folder (like when Dean awkwardly gave Cas the mix tape in the first place!).

But hey, I have high high high hopes for the Mary / Dean confrontation….eeek!

anonymous asked:

Hello, I'm sorry for this question, but it is torturing me. Cas's confession. He was in the end (and still made the hardest part), and neither Sam nor Dean didn't vocalize a reciprocate. I know they are stayed and fought, but Cas do the same for every soul. For me now no matter who will tell Cas that he's loved. He deserves to hear an answer to his words. I'm sorry, feelings .

Hey, 

So yeah I suppose it is a good point here that whilst Cas was all “I love you” to the boys, and in 12x09 as well he confessed using HIS WORDS how he felt for them, the Winchesters have never really CLEARLY stated “Yes, We love you too.”

The thing is, there are two really good reasons why this hasn’t happened yet.

1. The boys tend to find it very difficult to vocalise their feelings outside of situations where THEY THEMSELVES are dying. (See Sam in 8x23, Dean in 9x23 etc) even then it isn’t so much a “I love you” as an “I’m proud of us” 

They both instead show their feelings with actions. The fact that they refused to leave Cas to his death in 12x12 proved their love for him. This was further made obvious by Cas’s reaction to Dean’s refusal to leave…

(gif source)

LOOK AT THIS! God bless Misha’s superb acting here because the EMOTION in his face says it all.

So I think Cas got the general idea of what the boys were saying with their actions at that moment. This is always the way with them. Dean especially shows love through his constant worry, mother-henning, choosing others over his own life (that’s a big one), that’s just how Dean is. He’s not one to sit down and talk about his feelings voluntarily. He’s not going to pat on a chair beckoning Cas to sit down so he can take his hands and give him a speech worthy of Hugh Grant in a Richard Curtis movie.

2. Cas is a master of self destruction, and whilst Dean and Sam have shown their love for him with their actions, and he has seen that as shown above, the chances are he can still talk himself out of believing it. We have an episode coming up which will once again focus on Cas, this time on his future in a way (if the pattern of the Cas episodes adds up), therefore, the fact that we now have had TWO episodes where Cas has confessed his love for the Winchesters without a verbal response? well, three times is a charm and I am expecting (and desperately hoping as well) that we will get a THIRD verbal confession of love from Cas to justify his actions/express himself due to some horrid situation or another, and that this time, he will get a verbal response from them (Dean more than likely) confessing that his love is returned.

Okay, yeah so perhaps this is wishful thinking. Dean actually saying the words “I love you” is probably a long shot, but damn if I don’t think its about time that Cas got some verbal confirmation from Dean or at least a freaking DISCUSSION about what went down in 12x12. 

The pattern fits, the way this story is structured means it only makes sense that this confession is coming. I just hope its what we have been wishing for and not a poor platonic version that will leave us (and Cas) still feeling slightly hollow. 

We can only wait and see.

Hey Jude
wayward-ella
Hey Jude

Hey y’all! :)

Soooo if you want to hear what it would sound like if I sang to Dean, just hit play on the recording above when you see the song lyrics (and if it doesn’t work, just let me know and I’ll try to fix it). 


Warnings- FEELS

Word count- 536

Y/N- your name 

Y/N/N- your nickname


“Y/N?”

You woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of your name, and sat up in bed, looking around. Sam was fast asleep in the other bed, snoring softly as the air conditioner whirred in the background. You looked over at Dean, who was laying on his back in the bed next to you, staring up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, Dean?” you said softly, reaching out to brush his hair off his forehead.

“I can’t sleep.”

You sighed quietly and patted your legs, and Dean leaned over to rest his head on your lap.

“What’s wrong?” you asked gently, and Dean shook his head silently.

“Dean, whatever it is… I’m sure everything will be okay.”

He shook his head again, and you could see his eyes shining with tears.

“Hey… what is it?”

“Y/N/N… I almost lost you today,” he said, his voice trembling. You looked down at him, your face softening.

“Dean, that wasn’t your fault-”

“If I had gotten to you a second later, you would have died!” he snapped, his voice breaking, and he roughly swiped at his eyes.

“But you didn’t,” you said reassuringly.

“I know, I just… I just don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you.”

You leaned down and kissed his cheek, gently wiping the tears from his eyes. You could feel his shoulders shaking, and you stroked his hair until he calmed down.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you smiled down at him.  

“Yeah?”

“Will you sing?”

You leaned down to kiss his forehead before leaning back against the headboard. On the nights when the world got too dark, and you and Sam were the only things holding Dean up, there was one song that always gave him hope.


Hey, Jude, don’t make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

 

Hey, Jude, don’t be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better

 

And anytime you feel the pain,

Hey, Jude, refrain

Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders

For well you know that it’s a fool

Who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder

 

Hey, Jude, don’t let me down

You have found her, now go and get her

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

 

So let it out and let it in,

Hey, Jude, begin

You’re waiting for someone to perform with

And don’t you know that it’s just you,

Hey, Jude, you’ll do

The movement you need is on your shoulder

 

Hey, Jude, don’t make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her under your skin

Then you’ll begin to make it better….

 

Nah, nah nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah,

Hey, Jude

Nah, nah nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, nah,

Hey, Jude

Nah, nah nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah,

Hey, Jude

Nah, nah nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, nah,

Hey, Jude

anonymous asked:

I couldn't find a post of you answering this so I'm going to go for it: Would you say that Sam ships destiel? (I'm sorry if this ask is annoying btw!)

its not annoying! Sam and the repressed part of Dean is a weird one, i wrote about it here.

I think Sam sees some of Performing!Dean but not all, he is still surprised by some parts:

“…not him”

I think Sam suspects Dean is bisexual/queer and has for a long time:

I think Sam knows something is going on between Dean and Cas:

Originally posted by veryamooseing

However the extent to which he suspects / knows is another matter, one which will become more obvious in season 13.

Basically, if Cas was Human and he made Dean happy then I think Sam would definitely be shipping them :)  As it stands its all a bit complicated, but he knows how much they mean to each other and how it goes much deeper than platonic bros, than what he and Cas have for example, so yeah I think he would ship them, if they could ever admit it and be in the right place for it :)

What I’m Writing

Tagged by @imaginestarkquill

Do Dis: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

Fics I’m Writing Right Now:

  1. The last chapter of Guardian Angel (Cas and Dean come to some kind of compromise).
  2. My Cap-Iron Man big bang (which is a secret, sorry)
  3. A fic that’s titled “Steve is an idiot” (Steve tries to pressures Tony after CW and Peter Quill makes him back off)
  4. Next part in the Co-Pilots verse (Pepper and FRIDAY make Jarvis a legal identity)
  5. My fill for the @imagineclintcoulson blog
  6. The next chapter of Wipe Your Tears Away
  7. The next chapter of Time Has Brought Your Heart to Me (Rhodey tries to figure out if Tony would be interested in dating Peter)
  8. The sequel to Be Good (Tony is “rescued” by SHIELD)
  9. A fic where Bucky and Steve have been teasing Tony but never communicated that they were serious, so Tony runs away (ironpanther)

Fics I Started Writing But IDK When I’ll Ever Finish:

Holy shit this list is endless!!! A few key ones:

  1. What was suppposed to be my DCBB this year, a continuation of a drabble I posted on tumblr where Mary and Sam leave Dean to hunt together.
  2. Dean is a construction worker who comes across spirit gods Cas and Gabe 
  3. The end of moments of gold (it’s all plotted out, I just haven’t found out how to put it into words)
  4. HS AU where Justin Hammer sets Tony up to be molested
  5. A story involving angels, so Tony is Gabriel and Steve is Lucifer. Post civil war 
  6. Ironstrange fic; Tony and Strange meet up after civil war and the Cloak ships them 
  7. Stony fic where Howard was using Steve’s blood to experiment on Tony and it forged a weird bond between Steve and Tony 
  8. Frostiron fic where Loki reveals that Wanda was purposely manipulating the team to get revenge on Tony 
  9. Tony’s birthday in the Protectors verse

Fics I Have Plans to Write Eventually:

  1. 5+1 for the next fic in the Protectors verse (Darcy keeps seeing Bucky around)
  2. Also in the Protectors verse, the ex-Avengers have some rough questions for Steve to answer
  3. Fic where Tony gets deaged into a baby - but when he’s re-aged, he remembers everything and it leads to an age play relationship
  4. Fic set in the West Coast Avengers verse, War Machine and Pepper kick the other Avengers ouf of the tower.
  5. The rest of Hatchling + everything else on my wait list

Tagging anyone who wants to do this and has the time cause it took me like 20 minutes

castielsmoon  asked:

deanbenny, obv! hey marlz!

hey cloud! <3

alright guys get ready for a hELL OF A RIDE LET’S GO

who’s the cuddler: they both love cuddling okay, especially in the early morning when they’re still sleep-drunk and warm and cozy and they get tangled in the sheets and in each other, with their legs woven together adn they just breathe in each other’s scent. (dean is mostly the one who initiates it in any other situation, though)

who makes the bed: dean is super sloppy, benny is always cleaning up after him. he makes the bed every morning and he always smells dean’s pillow when he does bc it smells so like dean

who wakes up first: dean is awake very early but he’s never really there yet. he’s far from being a morning person so he always just lies awake with his eyes closed and presses closer to benny so he’s listening to his heartbeat and he’s just content to lie like that for hours

who has the weird taste in music: benny listens to music from the time he was still alive & human and dean thinks it’s a little weird bc it sounds nothing like the stuff he listens to and he never quite grows to like it but he does love the peaceful, happy expression it gives benny so he really doesn’t mind at all

who is more protective: they’re both a little overprotective bc they both have a knack for trouble and it does get a little annoying sometimes but they both know it’s just bc they love each other and it saves their lives more than once, so. neither of them are really complaining

who sings in the shower: benny likes to sing cliché country songs in the shower so loudly it can be heard all the way down in the basement. dean just likes lying on their bed when he does, in the room next to the bathroom so he hears benny’s whisky drawl singing very clearly and he just closes his eyes and listens

who cries during movies: benny is super Not Prepared for all that emotional shit (when did movies get this good???? he doesn’t know) but there’s always a quiet sniffle from him and obv it gets him a lot of cuddles

who spends the most while out shopping: benny just likes expensive clothes okay, it’s not his fault he has good taste! at least he doesn’t just own 23482543 flannels and wear the same jeans every day

who kisses more roughly: benny looks a lil ruff but he’s actually v soft. dean’s the one that’s hungry for touch and in his desperation he tends to get a little handsy, a little rougher than he really means to be but benny doesn’t mind. he quite likes it, in fact, when dean grabs his face in his hands and crashes their lips together like his life depends on it

who is more dominate: benny but he’s like a soft dom. lots of kisses and gentle touches and teasing and spooning afterwards. benny is the big spoon ofc

gets jealous the most: dean gets jealous really easily and it can be a bit annoying but benny mostly just finds it amusing. he tries to make him jealous sometimes, just to see dean’s face turn a pretty shade of read when he stands a little too close to another man, or to see the fire in his eyes as he strides over and kisses benny obscenely in front of said other man

one headcanon I have: there’s just too many??? but one of my faves is woke dad!deanbenny that @lafitte came up with i’m still NOT OVER IT

nicknames: benny calling dean ‘cher’ is all i live for

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 429352958350349

send me a ship

  • Sam: *Has to repeatedly apologize for not looking for Dean after he thought he'd died even though that was an agreement he made with Dean which Dean acknowledged*
  • Dean: *Still has not apologized for trying to kill Sam twice in the past year*
This is Going to Get WEIRD

allabitofablur prompted me with this (x):

“I’ve seen you end a couple fics with the gif of Cas trying to kiss Sam as Dean screams but have you ever started a fic with that? Could be fun.”

SO I’M GOING TO DO IT. I DON’T KNOW WHERE THIS STORY WILL TAKE ME, BUT IT’S GOING TO GET WEIRD. I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. SO, HERE GOES NOTHING.

- This is Going to Get WEIRD -

So, sure, Dean has seen a lot of weird things. Dean has been to Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. He’s hunted the most bizarre of monsters, gotten into situations where he couldn’t really explain his actions as anything other than devil worship, but THIS, right when he realized his feelings for Cas, that Cas was just staring at him with hir all-encompassing eyes, just before they were about to do something, ANYTHING about their teetering between friendship and romance relationship…yeah, Dean didn’t expect THIS.

I MEAN, IT WAS FRIGGING SAMMEH. AND FRIGGING CAAAAAAS. JUST THERE. AND THEY WERE MAKING OUT. AND THEY JUST KEPT MAKING OUT. AND DEAN JUST STARED, STARED AT IT, AND IT SORT OF TURNED HIM ON, WHICH, YEAH, WHAT ELSE WAS NOT NEW IN THIS REALITY DEAN HAD STUMBLED UPON. DEAN COULD ONLY STARE AS CAS AND SAM JUST KEPT, WELL…making out.

They didn’t come up for air for an HOUR, a FRIGGING HOUR, and all Dean could do was just stare at them and wonder WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO MY FRIGGING PROFOUND BONDER?

When they finally emerged, Sammeh smiled at Dean.

“You must be so Jealous,” said Sam.

Cas nodded.

“Oh, yeah, he totally is. By the way Dean, I’m actually in love with Sam.”

Cas jumped and Sam miraculously caught hir, holding hir bridal style.

“But what about our profound bond?” asked Dean, genuinely confused.

Cas snorted.

“Psshhhhh, Profound Bonds are like, so last Tuesday. I’m totally into perverted meese now,” said Cas, staring dreamily at Sam.

Sam just moved his eyebrows up and down.

“B-But, I love you, Cas!” said Dean, “I think…I think I’ve loved you for a long time, I was just never ready to show you, not ready to express it because who is a person to love another if they don’t love their selves first, and I think I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I can at least begin to love part of me, I’ve started to realize that maybe…maybe I do deserve something good, at least one thing, and I wanted that to be, well…you.”

Cas rolled hir eyes.

“Come on, bro, I’ve known you’ve loved me since you asked if I was a God. Love is such a blasé thing, so cliche. I’d rather have hot, hot sexy sex with this moosey moose man,” said Cas.

All Dean could do is open his mouth and close it.

“But Cas…everyone who sleeps with Sammeh dies,” said Dean.

Cas nodded.

“Well, yeah, and how many frigging times have I died already? If I’m gonna die again, I’m fine with moose man sex being the indirect cause. When I come back, I’d totally have a story and be the only member of the ‘Alive Moose Man Sex Club’. Trust me, this is gonna be awesome,” said Cas.

Sam nodded.

“Oh, totally, bro,” said Sam.

“Don’t 'bro’ me, Sammeh, you’re gonna be sleeping with my FRIGGING ONE TRUE LOVE,” blurted Dean.

“Oh, Dean. People can love more than one. Didn’t you watch HER with me?” said Cas.

“THAT WAS A PC AI, CAS, NOT A PERSON,” groaned Dean, so very, very confused.

“That’s what you think, Dean. Come on Sammeh, whisk me away,” said Cas.

Sam then pranced away, Cas in hand, leaving Dean all alone.

Okay, so Cas was gone…with his little brother…and Dean thought he was taking it pretty well.

Okay, so maybe Dean had a little bit too much to drink. Maybe he busted into a wax museum and started messing with the statues.

Maybe he had broken into a theatre and put on a one man show.

Maybe he had snuck into a graveyard and, bored, tried to unsuccessfully raise the dead before the police found him being a drunk crazy person.

And maybe Dean had gone back to the Bunker after a night in the drunk tank, saw that the place was ravaged by the hot sex he should be having with his frigging angel, and walked straight out.

And maybe Dean had seen what had happened to Sam after sex at a point in which Dean, praying to NOT CAS that he’d be able to get a change of clothes without seeing THINGS and thought WHY CAN’T I HAVE THAT?

Okay, so maybe Dean got drunk again listening to I’m All Out of Love over and over again on repeat until he hated it, loved it, hated it, then loved it again.

And maybe Dean had gotten a few million calls from Sam, who had mentioned in one of his calls that Sam Sex had indirectly just killed Cas. AGAIN.

And, yeah, Dean thought in his head, 'I FRIGGING TOLD YOU SO, THIS IS THE SECOND FRIGGING TIME, I SWEAR’.

And just before Sammeh and Cas got married, DEAN HAD WOKEN UP.

NONE OF IT HAD HAPPENED. IT WAS JUST HIM. AND CAS. JUST STARING INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES AND IT WAS MORE THAN HE COULD ASK FOR.

And HE was the one who walked closer to Cas, and HE was the one who was about to tell Cas how he felt!

BUT THEN THIS HAPPENED.

THE END.

I can’t watch John Winchester anymore

Alright, let me finish.

First of all, it seriously breaks my heart that so much of the SPN fandom hates John Winchester. I completely understand why. Don’t get me wrong. He made a lot of mistakes, and he knows it. But that’s the thing. He knows he made mistakes, and he did what he could for all the right reasons. He did everything he could to make sure his boys survived. He lost his wife, and he couldn’t bear to lose his children too.

Maybe he can’t be forgiven for everything he did, but here’s the thing: I would have given anything to have grown up with him as my father than my own father.

Before you hit the unfollow button, let me tell you a story. And let me tell it by using comparisons.

John Winchester never meant to emotionally abuse his sons. My dad did. It was his way of controlling me and reminding me that I was broken. He got a thrill out of reducing me to tears because it meant he had power over me. He did this to me for almost 24 years.

John Winchester did everything he could to make sure his sons could survive without him. My dad never taught me to do anything so I would come crawling back to him, because it meant I was weak and I needed him. He made sure of that. And he made sure to remind me every time he talked to me.

John Winchester wanted Sam to go to college. He had even started a college fund for Sam. And he checked on Sam regularly at Stanford to make sure he was okay, but never once approached him because he didn’t want Sam to think he was there to try to get him to leave and start hunting again. My dad bragged to my Uncle Bob (ironically enough) that he never put any money aside for me. He said “Maggie’s on her own.” He turned around and promised to help me get through school. He lied to my face, because he never had any intention to help me further my education.

Then we have this little gem that the fandom refuses to remember existed in canon:

Look there. He knows what he did was wrong, and he’s admitting it. He’s apologizing to Dean for everything, because he did only want the best for him. My dad never once admitted he was wrong. He never admitted it was his fault he stopped being in my life, and he never stopped perpetuating the myth that he was father of the year. At least John knows he made mistakes, and he needs Dean to know he’s sorry.

And these are the words I never heard my father say to me. Graduating high school? Nothing. My first job? Nothing. Paying for my first car with a paper route? Nothing. Earning my own college tuition? Nothing. Seeking help when I was suicidal? Nothing. Finally managing my mental illnesses? Nothing. Up to the day he died, my father never once offered any sign of approval or gave any indication that I was worthy of his time, let alone his love. 

Which brings me to my final and arguably most crucial point:

John Winchester died so his son could live. He wanted Sam to kill him because killing the demon would mean his sons would be safe. He turned around and made a deal with that demon to save Dean’s life, because he couldn’t bear the thought of losing his son. He gave his life out of sheer love. He had mistakes to make up for, and he felt this was his only way to do it. So he did it. He loved his sons more than he cared about his own life.

My dad died only after he could successfully write me out of his life. I wasn’t mentioned in his obituary, there was no inheritance to help me survive on my own, I was written out of his will so I wouldn’t get the chance to pick up the few things he “held onto for me”, and he told his new wife to keep me away from the funeral. After I did nothing but beg to be part of his life, he set the stage to make me look like the uncaring, ungrateful, spoiled brat he told everyone I was. It was his final way of saying he didn’t love me, and he unapologetically shoved it in my face. I imagine he was laughing when he died because he won. He got what he wanted. He wanted me out of his life, and he finally got it, with legal documents to prove that I was not worthy of being in the same family as him.

All of that said, watching John Winchesters’ character now makes me cry. Because he’s so universally hated. He’s seen as one of the worst dads to ever come out of fiction. And I would give anything to have been raised by him. Because i know he loved his family, and that was a love I never got.

And it breaks my heart that no one will ever see him like I do. No, he’s not perfect, but he’s the father I wish I had. Yes he made mistakes, but at least he owned up to it and apologized, because his own pride wasn’t important enough to die without telling his sons how much he wanted for them. He only ever wanted them to be happy and safe, and he did his best to see to that. He tried because he loved his boys.

And I always dreamed of the day that could happen to me, and it never happened.

I’m so tired of the John Winchester hate. Because no one cares that maybe even a flawed fictional dad would be miles better than a real dad.

I can’t bear to watch any episodes with him in them anymore because I know I’ll never see a father’s love like that. I’ll never have a father that cares as much as he does. I’ll never have a father that’s genuinely proud of me. I’m never going to see the day that my dad can smile at me and tell me he’s glad I turned out the way I did.

And I can’t stand watching him because everyone hates him for it. Everyone hates him for trying and loving and caring when I can’t even hate my dad for lacking all of those qualities.

This post turned out way longer than I meant it to, but dammit just the thought of how much he’s hated literally brings me to tears because he’s all I’ve ever wanted in a father. And I wish someone could see him the way I see him. Because he doesn’t deserve to be hated.

anonymous asked:

Could you do 🙊 with destiel or sabriel?(your choice) Thank you 💕

Okay I’m so sorry this took soooo long but I’m gonna do destiel if that’s okay!

🙊 -Shriek

———

Dean let out a very undignified squeak when he felt himself being tackled onto the bunker couch, a sudden weight settled on his hips. He shuffled around quickly, trying to see what could’ve done it, and he sighed in relief when he saw it was Cas. He propped himself up on his elbows, looking up at the angel in bewilderment.

“Cas, what the hell, man? Get off me!“ The hunter pushed at the angel’s knees and he fall back onto the couch when he didn’t move an inch.

“I’ve noticed something about you, Dean.“ The angel stated blatantly, as if he weren’t straddling Dean at all. The hunter scoffed at the casual tone and rolled his eyes, hands still pushing at the angel’s practically immovable body.

“Yeah? And what’s that?“ Dean asked sarcastically, pausing his attempts for a couple seconds as he waited for an answer.

“There’s this one spot that you never let me get to when I tickle you.“ Cas said, staring into Dean’s eyes and watching the hunter as his eyes widened. Dean felt his whole face heat up as he pushed harder at Cas, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath when he still couldn’t move him. “You always look at me like I have 3 heads whenever I go anywhere near there, and I am going to find out why.“

“Cas, Cas you really don’t have to, you don’t!“ Dean pleaded, giggling a little as Cas’ hands cupped his hips, his thumbs gently pressing down on the protruding bones. “Cas!” The hunter squeaked out, biting his bottom lip as his head fell back in defeat. “Don’t, dude please.”

“Why not?“ The angel asked, leaning down a little to look Dean in the eye, closer to his face. “Does it bother you?“

“Yes, dammit! It bothers me!“ The hunter rushed, giggling brightly as Cas’s began massaging gently into his hips. “Stohohopstop! No!”

“Hmm… No, I don’t think I will.” Cas smiled, leaning down to gently kiss the hunter’s forehead. Dean giggled more as he did, unaware of the fact that the tickling had stopped. He only realized when he felt two tendrils of Cas’s grace swirl into his hip bones. Dean shrieked before dissolving into loud, bright laughter, his head falling back against the couch.

“CAHAHAHAS!” Dean managed, pushing at Cas’s chest even though he knew it wouldn’t do anything.

“Yes, Dean?” Cas said, adding his fingers to the mix by gently tickling the hunter’s tummy, earning a whole new wave of boisterous laughter.

“STOHOHOP PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” The hunter said through his laughter, his eyes squeezed shut and tears welling up at the corners, and that’s when Cas realized he should stop. His fingers stopped first, then his grace slowly withered away until it was gone, and Dean let out a few excess giggles before wiping a hand over his face. “That was… So mean.”

“Sorry, baby, but I had to do it.”

“It was still not nice. You’re supposed to be nice to me, I’m your boyfriend.” Dean said, smiling as he said “boyfriend”.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but I had to see what all the fuss is about.” Cas said, earning a sad grunt from Dean as he pouted and crossed his arms. The angel had to smile as he leaned down and kissed Dean gently, feeling the hunter smile against his will.

“Alright, fine, I guess it wasn’t that bad.

“I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, Cas.”

anonymous asked:

Ana! What the fuck happened? I've back calculated, and assumed that the reader met Dean at least once after violet was born! And 8 years back would be around season 3? So she saw the hellhounds kill Dean. After that what? What happened to them? Her relationship with Sam is fantastic, and Dean and her are so cute it kills me. What could have possibly happened to break them apart like that. Telllll meeeeee please!

Originally posted by gameraboy

I was waiting for someone to ask me this! XD I’m so sorry about the slow burn really. It’ll happen! Soon-ish… *shrugs*

Stroke of Luck!