i'm so used to having a shit ton of things to tag

ACNL Witchcraft

I’ve gotten back into playing acnl recently and been noticing so much witchy stuff you can do!! A lot of it is up to your own interpretation & you have to make your own correspondences but I wanted to post about it so here ya go

-divination based on which gem you get from the gem rock each day
-could also do this with fossils or gyroids but gems already have correspondence resources so they’re easier
-seashell divination!!
-Katrina is literally a fortune teller built into the game, USE HER
-you could especially use the lucky clothing piece of the day in a luck spell if you have a similar thing irl!!
-using villagers as tarot of some sort, coming up with correspondences for each and depending on if they’re moving out, in, or staying, use that for divination(ie if a lazy villager is moving out it could mean nows your chance to get shit done)
-for the correspondences you could base it on their looks(color, clothing style), language(catchphrase, quote), species, personality(lazy, cranky, etc) & more, it should be easy to discover your own correspondences! (:
-you could also time travel to do this faster/get readings as many times as you want per day
-altars for deities in rooms!! You could even have specific characters for specific deities
-eating fruit/anything else edible like cake in honor of deities or as an offering of sorts
-ik I have a lot of divination on this post as is but divining with flowers!! based on the colors of them and/or what kind of flower it is!! you can even do this based on placement of the flowers(ie if it’s near a river it can be linked to water correspondences, or specifically river correspondences)
-I SWEAR THIS IS THE LAST DIVINATION ONE divining with letters received from villagers,, gifts are bonus points
-like sending them a letter with a question(gift included or not) and using the letter they send back as an answer to the question, the paper they used can also be relevant(lotus, firework, etc), and any gifts they give you
-doing spells IN GAME!! like you can set up everything!! you have access to crystals, flowers, seashells(sea witchcraft anyone?), fruits(kitchen witchcraft!!), it’s a cool way to do low budget witchcraft!!
-you can also use fish and bugs in spells!! and literally anything really there’s a ton of furniture and clothes and oh boy think of the possibilities?? amazing
-candles are in the game too but you don’t have a wide selection
-if you don’t have all the materials for a spell irl finish it in game!!
-using lucky items as a boost in spells!!
-the emotion things you can get(idr what they’re called or w/e) for intent in spellwork
-you could do things like curses by burying an object representing a person then burying pitfalls all around them
-or a blessing but with crystals itself of pitfalls or something
-you get the idea
-SIGILS USING RELEVANT ITEMS. money sigil? place money bags(or anything else in the game you can get corresponding to money) in the shape of the sigil. love sigil? there’s so many rose options and each color can mean different things, go for it
-sigil fireworks
-need to bury something in a spell but for example it’s not biodegradable, or you can’t bury something for some reason? just do it in game!! you could put it behind a house or something if you don’t wanna ruin the aesthetic of your town
-disposing of spellwork items by selling them to Reese
-or by mailing them away
-public works projects have so much potential i don’t know where to start, I might come up with some specific ideas later but for now just think about it yourself, it ain’t hard to figure out(fire pits, fountains, wind turbines, flower arches, there’s stuff for all the elements and more)
-yknow that thing where you can “report” villagers for being problematic? use that in curses, problematic language for a silence curse for example
-transformation spell? go to shampoodles and get a makeover
-turnips for anything money related as they are a popular source of money in the game
-using npcs themselves in spells. need something to represent crafting? Cyrus. fashion? any of the able sisters or Gracie. anything youth or children related? Timmy & Tommy. so much more but I’ll stop here.
-you can customize so much furniture to have your own patterns, use this!! sigils, color correspondences, there’s so many possibilities!!
-sleep/dream spell? Dream suite. You could even perform spells while in the dream town and have it be kind of like the astral!
-K.K. songs for any music magic, the names themselves can lead to correspondences
-with the added option of the amiibo it makes it possible to make acnl magic more physical and present in this world. you could use the amiibo like a wand of sorts!
-island tours as a base for spells
-doing different initiatives in honor of deities(plant a tree for Demeter for example)
-emoji spells but instead using the extra symbols you have access to in game(heart, star, etc)
-multiple ways to implement this, for example have it be a villagers greeting/catchphrase and every time they say it in activates, you could send a letter to future you with it, put it on the bulletin board, etc
-making a sigil pattern then displaying it at able sisters and for every villagers that starts wearing it, more power for the sigil

I never intended for this post to get so long but you can obviously see how much potential there is! This list was compiled over a couple of days, imagine how much more I could come up with if I spent longer on this!!
If anyone wants me to make a correspondence list for anything acnl(especially villagers/npcs) lmk and I’ll try to do it. (: If you want me to go in depth about any of the ideas above just ask and I can make a separate post about it.
If you do anything based on these ideas please lmk!! I’d love to see what you did!! :D I might post about some of the things I do. ^-^ 
Some of these ideas could work in other versions of animal crossing but this is intended for acnl. do what works for you

EXO as Freshmen

~ forgets all of his things at home on the first day
~ shares his lunch with kids who say they’re hungry
~ monotone presentation voice
~ involuntarily screams “OH FUCK!” whenever a ball comes towards him during gym
~ best friends with the waitress at the nearby noodle place
~ sometimes speaks chinese by accident and blushes for the rest of the period

~ captain of every sports team except for soccer (luhan got the spot and he’s still mad)
~ teachers like him so much that they bring him lunch and let him leave his stuff in the staff room
~ uses a whole can of hair gel every day
~ lives off nutrition bars (claims they help him stay fit)
~ misses a total of 35 school days to go to competitions
~ secretly a genius if you look at his grades

~ wears designer clothes (still hasn’t gotten jumped but it’s coming)
~ threatens to sue when he gets bad grades
~ cries from stress when doing sports but it helps him win somehow
~ spends lunch in the girls washroom giving makeup tips
~ holds the wildest and most lit holiday parties
~ has a crush on half of the senior grade

~ bumps into everything
~ has a 60% in art but still thinks he’s the shit
~ king of basketball
~ eats a 3 course meal every lunch
~ wears tank tops in december
~ tried campaigning against junmyeon for class president and lost 28:1 (ugly cried in the bathroom for half an hour afterwards)

~ hangs out for like 3 hours after school each day
~ plays soccer in the hallways in between classes
~ “eating in the cafeteria is social suicide”
~ takes 400 pictures whenever he’s on a fieldtrip
~ dabs unironically
~ hair is a different colour every week

~ refuses to use his locker and just lugs everything around
~ takes food from the office despite already having breakfast
~ buys the yearbook just because there’s one good photo of him in it
~ cannot function without a coffee every day
~ screams a lot during class
~ thinks debates and discussions are the right place to start roasting his classmates

~ “it’s only grade 9, none of this counts”
~ listens to music and sings out loud during work periods
~ snapchats every second of every day
~ half-asses everything during p.e
~ brings tons of snacks to class and shares with his table group
~ the only thing he’s good at is choir, he’s always the star of assemblies

~ lives in the music room
~ “do teachers accept bribes”
~ refuses to write exams in pen in case he messes up
~ wears band merch head to toe every thursday
~ always claps for too long during presentations or assemblies
~ gets lost all the time and doesn’t figure out the school layout until may

~ class president
~ writes exam notes for every subject and gives them to kids for $10 bucks a subject
~ forever has a headache and takes 4 tylenols a day
~ always gives the thank you speech for when guests come in
~ “i can’t do anything this month guys, i’m studying!”
~ stress cries during exams but hides it well

~ writes with calligraphy pens
~ plays the clarinet for band and takes lessons outside of school
~ will smack you if you talk to him when he’s got his earphones in
~ still has his winter coat in his locker on the last day of school
~ studied for 2 hours the day before exams and still passed
~ has a running mental list of people he hates

~ the nicest boy in the entire grade that everyone falls in love with
~ says he’s vegan but everyone knows he eats chicken nuggets in the bathroom during fifth period
~ never does his homework but is charming enough to get away with it
~ the only thing he ever says is “oops”
~ tried to bring his dogs to school once and got send home
~ dances during gym class instead of paying attention so he has no idea what to do half the time

~ only ever eats out
~ “this only has 500 calories it should be fine”
~ uses his phone as a mirror every five seconds
~ wears sunglasses inside
~ gets love notes in his locker and keeps them to laugh at when he’s bored
~ talks a whole lot of shit and always gets caught

ivegotaheadlineforyou  asked:

Hi Hi! I've been interested in secular witchcraft for a long time, but i'm finally starting to stop just researching, and I want to try and start practicing! I've collected a bunch of resources, but what are some of the first things you'd suggest picking up from the store? Candles, herbs, oils, etc? Also, any beginner posts you could link me to would be wonderful. I'm all ears! Have a wonderful day <3

Hey, congrats on deciding to practice and doing your research! Are you excited? Nervous? Enjoying what you’ve seen so far? Is Tumblr your primary resource? :)

I wanna learn so much from new witches omg. (There’s irony in there.)

Well, it honestly depends on what you wanna do and use yourself. Because personally, I picked up a few of each - I got some tealights from WalMart, bought some cheap incense from somewhere else, picked up some dried herbs from the grocery store that I didn’t already have in the kitchen, and found like five or six crystals I liked from Green Earth. I spent maybe like twenty bucks. That was my beginner’s witch kit.

But, again, it all comes down to what you want to use. Are you more interested in working with candles in magic? Candle magic *is* a really easy but effective method of magic, and candles are everywhere, and really cheap. Most spells use candles in them, not necessarily as the focal point of the spell, but they also do wonders for boosting energies. A bag of 100 tea lights goes a long way in witchcraft. Color correspondences can help, but isn’t necessarily required.

Or maybe crystals are where you wanna go. Crystals have amazing energy, but are a bit more on the pricey side. It can also be hard for people who don’t know a lot about them to tell them apart - the “danger” in this is being swindled by people claiming their crystals are something they’re not. Doesn’t mean they won’t work for their “declared” intent, necessarily, but it means you just dropped a lot of money on something worth a tenth of that. 

That doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile to work with them, though. Because they’re an amazing tool, really - you just gotta do some more research, and be confident in where you’re buying from. Finding a reliable dealer with decent prices is where it’s at. But then, once you’ve got some crystals, they’re really versatile. They can be used on their own, or in conjunction with other spells, put them in jars and sachets, or in poppets, make grids, use them to charge other things, just stick like ten of them in your pockets - boom, witchcraft. 

Oils aren’t something I necessarily recommend, to be honest. Not because they aren’t useful, because they are, just like any other tool can be (just gotta know how to use them). I just don’t know a lot about essential oils. xD If that is the area you wanna go in, however, it’s worthwhile to know that you’re gonna want to do some more research on the topic, and be wary of any allergies you may have, and for the love of god don’t put a crapton of pure oil straight on your skin.

Herbs is a little bit of a tricky area too, especially when using them as medicine. It requires a lot of research and safety if you plan on ingesting herbs for actual remedial purposes. If you just want to use dried herbs in, like, jars and spell bags, it isn’t nearly as bad, but you still want to keep an eye out for any poisonous / toxic plants and allergies. The stuff you can get pre-dried from grocery stores and dollar stores are honestly enough in most cases, and there’s lots of substitutes for more expensive or exotic plants, depending on intent.

If you wanna grow your own herbs too, that’s an option, but another area I don’t know a lot about, so I can’t give you any more advice on that besides do some more research. (It seriously never ends, so I hope you like studying.)

I guess this sort of answers your questions, but not really in the way you wanted. So, long story short, what you pick up depends on what and how you want to practice. However, I’ll give you a list of items I would recommend, purely based on my own craft, but I feel they’re pretty good staples to have all around.

  • candles - versatile as all hell; can be used on their own or in any other spell; bags of white tea lights are super cheap and easy to find; worry about colors later; scents can be used as correspondences as well but don’t hinder in any way
    • also, if you can’t have open flames for whatever reason, they have LED / battery powered candles in some dollar stores now; not to mention, tech magic?!
  • matches - they smell nice, and can light candles; suuuper cheap, but in bulk; unless you’re allergic to sulphur, then just a lighter will work
  • herbs - dried herbs from the grocery store seriously do the trick just as well as fresh / organic stuff; Bulk Barn / Barrel has a lot of awesome stuff for super cheap too; start off with just a few general / all-purpose ones, and then add to your collection as you go along; it starts to build up over time, trust me
    • sea salt - cleansing and protection; can be used as a base for most herbal mixtures
    • rosemary - considered a substitute for most other herbs
    • basil - has like a shit ton of correspondences
    • cinnamon is useful to have too
    • if you wanna curse, pepper flakes, paprika, or cayanne pepper should do the trick
  • jars - do I even need to explain?; dollar store, man; even thrift stores have some pretty amazing and cool looking bottles and stuff
  • notebooks - not something necessarily overly witchy, but more so to write down what you learn; trust me, you’ll wanna do that, especially with correspondences; also, sigils
    • also, though, keeping a blog can be a great way to have a magical book; can be password detected / kept secret; tags are useful for organiazation; and then you have us assholes in the community to hang out with too xD
    • writing utensils are also kinda required to, you know, write in books; black Sharpies are useful for actually drawing on stuff - candles, sachets, etc.; good for sigil work
  • scrap fabric - but some cool patterns from thrift stores or whatever; useful for making sachets and poppets
    • sealable plastic bags can do in a pinch though, really; also can be drawn on with Sharpie for easy sigil application
  • string / thread - tie up bags, herb bundles; make sachets and poppets; also useful for bindings, and that’s a good skill to know
  • mini sewing kit - super useful to have in general, and all parts of it can be used for something, somewhere
  • tea bags - seriously, tea has magical properties too; super discreet; and easy as hell; play around with different flavors for intents
  • crystals - clear quartz is super cheap and all-purpose; buy like five of them and just use them over and over; again, another thing it might be useful to have like three or four basic ones and then build your collection over time; that’s how most of us get our arsenal of supplies
    • clear quartz - substitutes for any other crystal
    • amethyst - super cheap and easy to find; variant of quartz; good for sleep and peace and divination; also purple
    • tiger’s eye - I’m biased because this is my favorite crystal; good for protection and courage; did I mention it’s awesome to look at?
  • incense - not necessarily required, but I like to have it; smells nice, useful; so many scents; can be found pretty cheap all over too
    • again, if you can’t have open flames in your place, you can try those wax melters; definitely pricier, but versatile for magic as well; and I mean, they just smell, so, good; my mom has one with like sugar cookie wax cubes; and I come home and think she’s baking, and I get super excited; but it’s a lie

So, yeah, that’s my list, and reasons for what I wrote. That’s just some ideas to get you started. If you choose a path that doesn’t need those things in them, obviously don’t bother then. And depending on what “type of magic” you wanna do, your basic supply list might be very different. For instance, a sea witch probably won’t care so much about kitchen herbs, and stock up on sand and seaweed, sea shells and salt water. 

Since you asked for beginner’s posts, too, you can have my whole list:

I did it! I made a post that wasn’t mostly links! :o Anyway, sorry for my smartass mouth, I was having fun with this. I hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope it gave you some ideas, and helped you out! Good luck! And if you need any more clarification or have more questions, you know where to find me. :D

anonymous asked:

Hello 😊 sooooo I've JUST recently gotten into SHINee ( honestly I've been wanting to get into SHINee for a while but I've just been lazy until now) so I'm new to the fandom--whooop! - So I was wondering, is there anything I should know about SHINee? Also could you recommend me anything SHINee related?

welcome to the fandom, sweetpea!

there’s a lot of history to tell from these past ten years, so I’ll give you a condensed version of things (there was this huge masterpost/introduction on shinee I was going to link but I can’t seem to find anywhere otl; I’ll keep searching for it, though); even more so because… I believe it’s easier, in fact, to learn about them slowly and steadily as you become more and more involved with them.

so, take all the time you need! it’s really more exciting to fall in love with the boys little by little tbh.

forget about the typical roles found in kpop groups: all five are vocals (and visuals). shinee as a whole is very different from currently active/3rd generation groups - even though they’ve been on the run for longer, they are still young, they always bring in new, exciting concepts and flawless performances and tend to be compared to rookies in what concerns their energy on stage; meaning, they work as hard and with as much enthusiasm as a group that just debuted. 

taemin is very clumsy and has a habit of losing/breaking things by accident. (important: he hates bugs and I don’t say this lightly.) he’s very reserved and an introvert, but he loves his close friends and family dearly. usually more comfortable somewhere with food available. the personification of persistence and passion for what he does. also, he’s a soloist with three (Korean: Ace and Press It / Japanese: Sayonara Hitori) successful albums released. (you can find my - heavily biased - picks of favorite taem videos here.)

oh and still related to taemin - we have this thing where chanting his name brings in luck, apparently

minho is everyone’s dream boy: acts, raps, sings, writes his own lyrics, is gorgeous and charming and athletic, always working hard to become a better version of himself and the sweetest being you’ll ever hear about. he’s tall and big and all, yes, but don’t fool yourself: he’s soft, affectionate, touchy and a Real sap 24/7. his dad pretty much adopted the other four. he starred on a movie titled ‘Derailed’ recently; on KBS’s Hwarang: The Beginning and a bunch of dramas you can find on a masterlist at the end of this post.

key is a hardworking, inspirational and real example of someone who’s been through a lot and has a lot to useful advice to share based on previous experiences (also, he’s the king of aesthetics). he knows where he stands and doesn’t take bullshit from anyone - that’s why he’s the one to quickly shut down any member who’s being Too Much during an interview/show/etc; which is funny, because key himself is full of energy and will like, do the most for as long as he can get away with it. he’s been featured in a bunch of musicals and took part in a duo, Toheart, back in 2014. solo projects include a collab song with Axodus and an ost with NCT’S Doyoung.

a guide on how much of a sweetheart is kim jonghyun - he’s a complex being with a heart much too big and we’re always learning something new about him. I think the best way to get to know him is through the blue night radio; as its dj, he often shares bits of himself you’ll learn to put together little by little and love as a whole. he’s a soloist, too, with two officially promoted albums (Base and She Is) and a self-composed compilation (Story Op.1) released.

onew is their strength, their main pillar; someone who doesn’t impose his views on the boys and who, in exchange, is extremely respected and loved by each of them (despite his dad jokes and bad puns - they adore him, I’m not even joking). no wonder he won leader of the year back in 2015. ah, yes - he’s a prime example of sunshine incarnate. (he acts, too! he was a rockstar on the musical Rock of Ages and a doctor on Descendants of the Sun.)

the boys are so genuine in themselves, to each other and to everyone else those who work with them are all about compliments and admiration

and it’s not without a reason everyone says they are a family

the importance of the year 2013 to shinee and shawols 

some songs you might want to check out (p.s.: their Japanese discography is amazing and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise)

they really like dogs

they’ve won a shit ton of awards since debut

they dote on their youngest like actual brothers

they are a mess™

shawolsource’s tag for masterposts of videos on each member + dl link for all their mvs (the last part compiled by me)

must watch (in my humble opinion): The Ultimate GroupSHINee’s Surprise Party for JonghyunVlive SHINee Begins and this mess of a promotional video

something I highly recommend checking on in terms of dancing and singing skills and the relationship between the members in general: their concerts. the first one I’ve ever watched was the SHINee World Concert III (which is still my favorite!) and if there’s anything that made me fall even harder for them, like… that was it. I can’t find link for all of them, sadly, but here you have the JATSWCII and SWCIV in full and playlists for the BMU TourI’m Your Boy Tour and DxDxD Tour.

some blogs that will help you out getting familiar with them are @fyjjong and @shineesubbed.

shawols wouldn’t ever miss a chance to go on and on about anything shinee, so - any questions, opinions or requests, don’t hesitate to hit one of us up. ♡

Transformers Fanfic Terms 101

So @novelty-spark was asking about a masterpost for those sorts of things, I thought I’d throw down the terms i’ve used in my seasoned time as a TF fic writer. Shoutout to my bae @guttermech for helping with some of these tooooo

So for those who don’t know there’s actually a ton of strange inner-fandom terms and shorthand that’s used in fanfic/general discussions, and can also be used for tags on art. 

First off there’s the different types of TF porn/fic. 

Sticky and PnP/Wireplay are the most common, less common is Sparkplay/Sparkbonding There’s also a now-unheard of fourth type called Tactile/EM fieldplay.

Sticky: Sticky is organic-based sexual organs, with organic genitals. Usually it’s a set of a penis/vagina combo, but there’s lots of different versions. One thing is for sure; it’s messy, it’s slippery, and it’s the most common type of TF porn you’ll find. 

PnP: Short for Plug-N-Play, it’s also sometimes called wireplay, is the counter to Sticky. It’s more based on the passing of electrical currents and information between two cybertronians to bring pleasure to both parties. The fact that it’s also a common phrase for electronics is a hilarious bonus for when you find that shit in public and can laugh about it. 

Sparksex/Sparkplay/Sparkbonding: This is a fairly well recognized but not always utilized form of cybertronian coupling that involves direct interaction between two or more party’s sparks. It’s usually coupled with them becoming bondmates which is a term i’ll cover below in more detail. 

Tactile/EMfieldplay: This is from the olden days, I’ve not seen any content made of this forgotten type in years and years, but now’s a good a time as any for a resurgance. EMfield stands for Electromagnetic Field, which is the sensory net that surrounds a cybertronian. Long ago [before time began…] it was very common for fics to include the fields as a form of close-contact, a field that would become meshed with others when cybertronians were near each other. This type of porn was more closely related to foreplay, though climax could easily be reached by the two [or more!] fields interacting. This one’s pretty complex to explain here, but I think I’ve got the gist of it down. 

Here’s a list of some terms, not all are inherently sexual but are useful to know for the flow of things/knowing the name of some parts of the anatomy and terms: 

Interfacing is sex. It’s just what sex is called, pretty basic. 

cable/cord/plug are the words for a robot penis, however a lot of people call them ‘spikes’ too, which is uncomfortable sounding as hell! Let’s normalize cord/cable/plug =u= I’ve also seen 

Valve is the term used for a penetrable hole, a vagina or butthole or whateverthefuck, it’s also sometimes called a port. 

Anterior/Outernode is a term used for a clitoris, and 

Calipers are the internal structure of a valve/port, similar to the muscle structure inside organic holes to clench/cause a milking action. 

Overload is what an orgasm is called. 

Transfluid is cybertronian ejaculate/jizz. Most artistic renderings have it be glowing like Energon but it can be just about anything you want, I used to write it as silver or different colors, they’re robots, go wild. Glowy jizz or metallic jizz or black inky jizz or just white jizz, who cares! It’s jizz! Have fun! 

CNA  is sometimes used as a version of DNA, often used for when baby Cybertronians are talked about being made through sexual reproduction. On that note- 

Sparklings, are baby cybertronians. Sometimes they’re also called protoforms but more often than not Sparklings is the most accurate way to get it. Protoforms are also a canon material so I don’t know if anyone uses it anymore. I'm not going over different methods of sexual and asexual cybertronian reproduction because that honestly deserves a post all it’s own. 

Glossa is what tongues are called, while 

Coolant is often used as their version of saliva 

servo is used interchangeably for any moving part w/ a joint- legs, arms, fingers, etc [for fingers i would suggest 'digits’ too ] 

Vents are used to describe air flow and to emulate panting/heavy breathing, often used for when a cybertronian starts to get heated and their vents will turn on, expelling hot air. 

Pedes are words used instead of 'feet’

Chevron is the shape that’s on many Cybertronian’s heads, [examples: prowl, ratchet] 

Headfins are another helmet shape, often described as sensitive or an erogenous zone. [examples: sunstreaker, fort max]

Kibble is the name of anything that is not a vital part of the cybertronian’s anatomy but is needed in order to form their alt mode. Examples include tires, headlights, car doors on arms/back. 

Door-wings are pretty self-explanatory, but they are a specific anatomy belonging to the likes of Prowl, Jazz, TFP/Bayverse/RID2015 Bumblebee; they are the doors for their car mode that are perched between the shoulders like wings. 

Audials are used instead of 'ears’, while 

Finials describe a more protruding shape of 'ears’, such as those on Shockwave, Drift, and Wing. 

And as a special added note, here are some Cybertronian curse words often used in fics:

Dross [Damn]

Frag [fuck] fragger, fragging, etc

Scrap [shit]

Slag[aggressive derogatory term, means to call someone scum or garbage]

Feel free to add things! I hope this helps! 8U 


The Ignition fic that no one asked for but that I needed to write because damn. That video has ended me. Enjoy!
@strongenoughfoundation sorry, I had to tag you again, that video has done things to both of us XD

It was too hot, too loud, and the traffic was too AWFUL.

You’d been sitting in this car for God knew how long now, on a packed highway in the summer heat. Every window was rolled down in an attempt to fight off a heatstroke and honestly, you’d started counting the minutes until your sure death if you didn’t get off this road soon. Groaning in despair, you snatched the hair tie from your wrist and tied your hair back in sharp motions.

At the sound of your voice, your best friend glanced at you from the driver’s seat, eyebrows raised. “You all right over there?”

“I’m dying, Lin,” you deadpanned. “I am actually dying.”

“That’s a little dramatic,” he remarked, a teasing smile tugging at his lips.

“This damn highway is doing dangerous things to my head.”


“I imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory.”

At that, he burst out laughing. With a hand resting on the steering wheel, he leaned back against his seat and sent you a warm glance. “I feel like I can’t argue with you because you just did that.”

Flopping back against your seat with a loud sigh, you pointed at him. “That line is the one I relate to the most, honestly,” you told him wryly.

“Why am I not surprised?” he asked.

You lifted your head and arched a brow at him. “Are you saying I’m a negative person?”

“You said it, not me.”

“I feel the need to remind you that you’re stuck in this car with me for at least an hour.”

“I feel the need to remind YOU that this is my car and I can kick you out at anytime.”

Grumbling, you shifted around in your seat to get to a more comfortable position and brought your feet up onto the edge of it. “Asshole,” you muttered simply and he snickered. You wondered if walking was a better choice than this traffic-induced hell after all.

Sighing in resignation, you settled for dozing in the searing sun and sneaking a couple glances over at Lin as you did. Hey, you couldn’t help it if your best friend also happened to be kinda (really) attractive, could you? It wasn’t bad just to look, right? You idly studied him through half-closed eyes, admiring the way his hair got all tousled as he ran a hand through it. He was wearing a dark blue tee because of the heat and you tried to steal a few guilty glances at his arms. You bet it’d be nice to be wrapped up in his arms, heat or no heat.

“…you done staring at me yet?”

“Shit!” you hissed, blushing furiously at having been caught. Lin cast you a sideways glance that was wayyyy too knowing and was that jerk SMIRKING? Growling something unintelligible, you reached forward to the dashboard. “I’m putting the radio on!” you announced.

“Hey, I don’t mind, you can look all you want—”

“I’M PUTTING THE RADIO ON.” You jabbed at the power button and cranked up the volume.

The first few notes of a song blared out and you recognized it at the same time Lin did.

You groaned out a frustrated “NOOO,” while Lin practically cheered like a two-year-old.

“I’m turning it off!” you said at once, and you reached for the button again.

“No you aren’t!” he shot back, batting your hand away. He ignored your squeak of protest and flashed you a wide grin. “You turned it on, so you’re stuck with the consequences!”

Sinking down in your seat, you brought your fingers up to your temples. The lyrics to the “Ignition” remix pumped out of the speakers and brought back a ton of memories. “Lin-Manuel Miranda,” you stated, “if you start rapping, I swear to God—”

“No, I’m not tryin’ to be rude, but hey pretty girl, I’m feelin’ you, the way you do the things you do, remind of my Lexus coup—”

“AAAGHHH!” You threw your hands up as he started freaking dancing in his damn seat, one hand still on the wheel and other in the air, and dear lord, it was like PTSD. Hands over your ears now, you glowered at him from your hunched over position. Lin just smiled back like the stupid, hot person he was and pointed at you as he went on with the song:

“So baby, give me that!”


“Let me give you that!”

“HELL NO. Lin, I swear, I will never speak to you again.”

Cheerfully ignoring you, he kept going, letting that edge of a growl into his voice and you internally swooned. Why did these things happen to you? “It’s the remix to ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen, Mama rollin’ that body, got every man in here wishin'—”

He cut off, making you glance over in confusion; just in time for him to lean across and steal a kiss, lips pressed to yours fleetingly. Your eyes shot open wide, body going rigid as he grinned into your mouth and then pulled away a second later.

“Lin!” you spluttered out, as he just laughed and went back to rapping out the lyrics. “What—You—What the hell!?”

The lyrics became a little shaky as he tried not to laugh, a stupid smile on his face. When he glanced at you, his eyes softened and…was he blushing?

Against your will, your mouth quirked up too and you looked down at your feet.

As the two of you sat, with the speakers blasting around you, you brought your fingers up to touch your lips in wonder.

A Cake Rant about “Sequel Fatigue”

Alright you movie critics/journalists, studio heads, and everyone else who has jumped on the “audiences are getting tired of sequels/superhero movies/science fiction/R rated comedies/edgy indies” bandwagon. I’ve got a thing or two I want to get off my very ample chest. 


Let me repeat for the old white men who are hard of hearing in their top floor offices. 


Yeah, Transformers: Last Knight didn’t do well. Yeah, nobody bothered to go see The Mummy with Tom Cruise. And, yeah, Valerian and a Thousand Cities (or whatever it was called) didn’t do well at the box office. I know you want to gaze introspectively at your navel to figure out why American tushies didn’t plop down in seats to see these films. I can help you with that. 

The problem isn’t that we don’t want to see another version of the mummy or more transformers or another DC or Marvel movie. 


One more time for the cheap seats. 


Here’s how you can fix this. Choose two at random. That ought to be enough. 

  1. Figure out the difference between a one trick pony director who can make a blockbuster once but who will just keep repeating himself over and over again with increasing price tags. 
  2. For God’s sake, find some new people to direct every now and then; don’t turn over whole franchises to someone because they made one good flick and then give them carte blanche to do the SAME THING again and again. 
  3. Find a writer with a vision and go with them. Stop the seventeen writers who keep changing the story because things aren’t working the way some white guys in a board room want to see bullshit 
  4. Give us an understandable plot that sort of makes sense. The suspension of disbelief only goes so far. 
  5. If the audience falls in love with a character, they’ll stick with you. Stop with all the postmodern, dark and angsty characterization for EVERY FREAKIN’ ONE OF THEM. Remember the importance of the plucky sidekick.
  6. If you have three villians, you’ve DONE AND FUCKED IT UP.
  8. Don’t advertise a great looking movie with famous actors who are hot as hell and then NOT SHOW IT ANYWHERE BUT THREE CITIES ON THE COASTS. (I’m looking at you Wind River).
  9. Don’t cast parts based upon who’s the up-and-coming star or “it” girl. Everyone doesn’t have to be young and super skinny with six pack abs. Your audience has moved beyond that (see, Barb, Stranger Things).
  10. Wonder why Wonder Woman did so well?  *cough* woman director, female gaze, Amazons, Chris Pine playing second to Gal Gadot*cough*
  11. Wonder why people are batshit crazy over Black Panther already? *cough*drop dead gorgeous black cast and black director*cough*
  12. If the movie pitch begins with “It’s a reimagining of (fill in the blank of an 80s or 90s TV show or movie)”, run the opposite direction. Unless it’s a revisioning through diverse eyes (director, writer, etc), then you can go ahead. 
  13. JESUS CHRIST STOP WITH THE FORCED HETEROSEXUAL ROMANCE ALREADY!!!  Repeat after me: boys and girls can be just friends. Some boys like boys and girls like girls. Some like both and some like neither. 
  15. For Christ’s sake, there are a lot more of us who want to see ALL kinds of sexuality portrayed than there are people who get their panties in a twist if two guys so much as glance at each other. Besides, if you piss off the Westboro Baptist Church enough to get them to picket your movie, there are a shit ton of us who’ll go see it JUST TO PISS THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS OFF!



Thank you for your cooperation. 

anonymous asked:

so, in the future I plan on getting a bird! but I'm kind of torn between what species. I've narrowed it down between pigeon, or green cheek conure. I was wondering if you can give me a lil insight to what Rex's behaviors are like?like uh, for example, does she play and do goofy things like a lot of parrot videos you see online? or does she play in a different manor? does she sing along to music? does she enjoy eating some of your snacks with you? give us the deets! ☺️

I had a green cheek named Groot (his tag is #groot). I loved him a lot however I ended up regretting getting him, perhaps if I had gotten an adult psittacine I would’ve felt differently but his hormones were just too much for my family and I, especially with my mental illness and my dad’s drinking, so I had to rehome him.

Before I answer let me tell you DO NOT TRUST THE CUTE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET. They only show 10% of life with birds, the other 90% is a lot less cute, especially with parrots. Parrots scream, bite, chew, shit, make immense messes, scream more, and are literally like living with a hyper intelligent toddler for the next 30-100 years (smaller parrots don’t live as long but that’s still a huge chunk out of your life). You can have a rewarding relationship with your parrot, but it comes with a ton of work and even when you put everything into it that you can it still may fall apart. Parrots are WILD animals, they may have been raised in captivity and are tame, but they aren’t domesticated and you need to be prepared for that. It takes a skilled and dedicated individual to care for these birds and keep them as happy as possible.

This applies to pigeons but not in the same extreme. Pigeons are pets, they are designed to be pets whereas parrots are only in the very earliest stages of domestication. She doesn’t scream or bite, but she shits- people find that this doesn’t bug them as much as they expect it to since there’s much more to any animal than their poop. She wreaks havoc, sends papers flying, steps all over keyboards, knocks things over, and is constantly forgetting that she’s a prey animal in a house of predators. But like I said, she isn’t nearly as extreme as any psittacines as far as the ratio of cute:havocdemon.

As for your ask, all of the cute playing behavior Groot did I’ve seen Rex do, excluding the biting/wrestling (if you want a pigeon to do that get a cock and not a hen). She picks up random objects and wanders around with them, she throws things off of the table, likes to shake balls with bells in them, she likes to land on the phone in the kitchen to hear the buttons beep, and she brings me presents like dried up flowers she finds in hay or bits of corn. She doesn’t really steal food, but she’ll stand on my plate and insist on helping me eat, Groot would steal anything he saw you put in your mouth. You don’t want them eating a lot of people food, they need a balanced diet of grains. Parrots definitely shouldn’t be getting a lot of people food unless it’s fresh fruit, unsalted or buttered eggs, etc.. Chickens are great if you want an eating pal and most foods are safe excluding overly greasy or citrus (research bird safe food).

Besides being playful, Rex is very cuddly with me, but only me and that applies to all pigeons. They bond closest with their mate. Rex is plenty social with my housemates though, she just doesn’t want them to touch her, she happily sits on them and preens.

To sum it up: pigeons are pets and parrots are projects. I don’t recommend ever keeping a parrot, not even budgies, until you have worked with them at a rescue or sanctuary. Pigeons and chickens are your best bet for a fun and easy going pet.

anonymous asked:

So I've been looking at the tumblr lifting community's posts for awhile now and I'm obsessed and amazed; I've never lifted before but I really want to it looks so fun and I want free cute shit, but I'm so so scared!! How do I get over that and what/where would you recommend lifting for my very first time ever? Any tips or advice? I worship y'all 🙏🏼

oooookay lil nugget here we go.

first off - its okay to be scared. its actually better if you keep a little piece of you thats always scared, no matter if you’re experienced or a beginner. thats something that helps you keep track of what’s going on around you and helps you not get caught. when you get cocky or over confident, thats when trouble starts.

i cannot stress how important it is to start small.
start small.
start sosososososo small.

like a lipgloss from walmart or one plain shirt from old navy. maybe a lil pack of beads from hobby lobby. whatever you do, do it small.

this lowers the chance of you getting caught, and the chance of you freaking out more.

do this a couple times. lil thing here, lil thing there. this builds confidence. the more confident you are with yourself, the more likely you are to start pulling in bigger hauls.

be patient. dont rush anything. this is by no means a competition. this whole process of confidence-gaining takes weeks, maybe months for some people.

and another thing - the majority of us on here that are pulling in a shit ton of stuff? we’ve been doing this for years. ive been lifting for 3/almost 4 years now. do not feel like you have to hurry and catch up to us.

secondly -do your homework. read through people’s tip pages on here. read about hooks, magnets, detachers, keys, all the different types of security tags, concealment methods, horror stories - ANYTHING. everything will be helpful down the road. read up on how other people got caught so you dont make the same mistakes. read up on how that girl managed to bag 3 naked palettes and 15 Kat Von D liquid lipsticks. learn about cam placement and how JCP Sephora is a place to stay away from. learn SA behavior and how to tell if they are being nice or plain sus. Learn how to tell if a bag is going to be a good lifting partner or if its going to be a hassle getting things inside. get familiar with every aspect of this community. follow as many people as you can. get inspiration from everyone. learn this life. live it. breathe it.

thirdly - try and pair up with an experienced buddy. i have found this to be so helpful. you get to see first hand how they do what they do. you get to see them in action, and learn their methods. however, know that going out with more than 2 other people is sure to get you noticed and tailed. keep the lil lifting group to either a pair or 3 people. make sure you can trust them. make sure you know them.

Old Navy: they dont tag anything other than heavy coats and sweaters, some dresses, jeans, and in the summer some shorts. i re-vamped my whole wardrobe this summer courtesy of ON, but ive seen on here that they’ve started source tagging…. which makes me sad. so double check before you out anything into your bag.
Hobby Lobby: there are like 7 cams per store all focused on the cashiers. go crazy. get your much needed art supplies. this is a great store for beginners - and other lifters who love crafting.
Cotton On: nothing, and i mean NOTHING is tagged. idk why, but these hoes never tag anything and it makes me wonder what they’re even doing. i got christmas gifts for my brothers here this year, so i highly recommend this store. super easy.
Dillard’s: do not let the large size of the store intimidate you - this place is heaven. sometimes you’ll get lucky and somethings been left off the rack and untagged. sometimes theres that teally cute wallet that you’ve wanted for a while and it doesnt have a single tag on it. go for it. conceal in the dressing rooms. trust me. formal dresses? no tags. (from what ive seen, and ive been to 3 Dillard’s in 2 different cities.) their desinger jewelrythat they keep down there? go for it. none of its source tagged or anything. i walked out once with 5 pairs of mate spade earrings and 2 wallets worth the 100 each. just pay attention to your surroundings and you’ll do just fine.

- in the winter its cold as dicks, so wear sweaters. utilize these babies for all they’re worth. 1. sleeves are great for concealing small items like jewelry and lipsticks. 2. “i am so hot from all this shopping, is it okay if i have one of your bags to carry my sweater in? i would really appreciate it” (note: this only works with really nice SAs. some will be bitches and shut you down. you might have to try a couple of stores before you get one. and now you have a free shopping bag!) 3. put your purse in the crook of your elbow and drape your sweater over it. this helps conceal how big your purse is to begin with and hide how much its increased in size when you’re walking out. 4. idk they’re warm and fuzzy. they make me happy.
- boots: stick things in there in case you forgot your purse or something. you can stick small things like jewelry and face masks down in there, its great.
- go through your mom’s closet. or your aunt’s. grandmother’s. rich best friend, i dont care. more often than not, they have a couple of extra shopping bags from stores they’ve been too. my mom has Bath and Body Works for days, along with a couple of Coach bags and Ralph Lauren. these shopper bags can be used in the same way as a purse for hiding things in them. hide them in yoir bag on the way into a mall, and then in the bathroom, take out your lifted clothing and stuff one of the bags. that way, when you walk into other stores, the SAs think you’ve bought things from other stores. be careful and know the layout of the mall you’re in though, because if you’re carrying around an Urban Outfitters bag and theres no UO, then you’ve gone and fucked yourself.
- be cautious, be wary, and not get greedy. get in, get out, and live to lift another day.

hope you’ll find some use for all this nonsense, good luck on starting your hobby of lifting and i hope to see some beautiful hauls from you guys!

I’m not sure if I made it on time or if this is late but here is my YOI fandom appreciation post!! In the short time I’ve been here people have been nothing but kind to me and have always made me feel welcome. 

I’ve also been having a pretty shit couple of days but with everyone tagging me in their appreciation and good things in life finally coming up I feel so much better today, in part because of this fandom. 

I’ll start with probably my newest best friend Marti, @venenix, witout whom I wouldn’t have even half as many of my headcanons. From the moment we started screaming at each other in all caps and S P A C E S I knew we were gonna be friends. Whether it’s me sinning, you cheering me up, or both of us losing our shit over Vichris/Vichrisuuri, my day isn’t complete if I haven’t talked to you. I love you, Marti, mio stellina, mio girasolle.  

Of course, I also have to special mention Lea, @otasucc, for being an absolute doll. You’re kind, funny, and always have an ear for me when I rant about fuckbois TM or Our Boys (you know… the entire YOI cast). You’re gorgeous and I can’t wait to get drunk with you <3

Next up, my emo in not disguise, Noelle @otabaeee, without whomst my life would be much less bright. You were one of the first people I talked to in this fandom and I couldn’t be more grateful that you responded with kindness and enthusiasm, without you I wouldn’t know half of the people I know now. You rock, I love you, stay emo bitch. Oh, and when are you and me and Lea getting white girl wasted TM? 

I’m pretty sure this day was meant specifically meant for content creators so let’s start that appreciation with Maria, @angryskatinghedgehog, you … wonderful human person. I have the best time when you tease me with snippets and an even better time when I get to read a finished chapter. I know you don’t believe it but you’re a REALLY GOOD WRITER TM and I’m going to continue to support and love you forever. Thank you for ranting with me about whatever and being my friend <3

Read Behind Closed Doors, an Otapliroy Uni AU with feelings and porn and Yuri being the Best TM, here.


I know that there are a ton of you who also create content and I’d love to link everyone to everything but there just isn’t the time and I’m sorry. I’m also really terrible at paying attention to who does what so I’d be afraid I wouldn’t be able to correctly pinpoint which amazing mutual did which amazing thing, you know? 

But a special shout out to:

@baramini, @crescendotayuri, @altin-s, @otapocalypse, and @1pen1knife for being the best children a mother could ask for. I hope you all get the love and happiness you guys deserve <3 I love you all so much it’s not even funny. 

further shout out to @gutgemacht and @onotherflights and @novocaine-sea for being silly and lovely and indulging me and my whims. Michaela, you keep doing you and I’ll keep crushing from a distance. Marie, thansk for not judging me over my spitting kink and for writing about it in the first place. Aja, no one supports my unpopular opinions like you and I love you for it (and our Kacchako talks which have nothing to do with YOI so be). 

I of course also have to give my love and appreciation to the following people who are awesome and amazing even if we’ve never talked, only talked once, or talk sporadically. I think of you all as Valued Mutuals TM and pals at the very very least (so like… more than that): 

@aftgonice, @faeyuri, @severeminx@altisetsky@plishooksky, @yurochkas, @kymbawee, @penciltrash @gia-comeatme, @phaytesworld, @iamatrashfan, @tootsonnewts, @eclair, @ellipsesarefun and the lovely lovely @meimagino who has saved me from SNK spoilers more than once. 

You guys are truly all the very best and my dash woulnd’t be the same without you. 


Last but not least I’d like to shout out some content creators that have made some of my FAVORITE things. 

@iruutciv - you probably now know me as that girl who shouted about your gifs in the tags. twice. I know you already know how i feel about those gifs but I just wanted to let you know that I also appreciate your other art and the amount of time and energy you put into everything you do. Thank you for creating such lovely things <3 

@zephyrine-gale - you gave us the crop top trend AND the Victuuri fusion, two things for which I will forever be grateful. Thank you for bringing both into the world and for everything you do for the fandom <3

@kawaiilo-ren - I feel like there isn’t a YOI blog out there that hasn’t at least heard of your Mafia AU and I think that’s amazing. You’re an incredible artist and a super cool person. I hope your creativity and ideas keep going strong <3

@natsubutart - I just recently stumbled accross your YOI Lovechild art but ;I think it’s incredible and I’m so glad you had this idea and have kept with it. Not only is it an awesome concept but there’s also clearly a ton of thought and love behind it. I hope you keep up with it and I can’t wait to read all of it!! <3

@creemsicaal - Your art style is one of my absolute favorites. Every time I see it I just… feel better?? I honestly don’t know how to describe it but I love it and I hope you keep making more <3 

@superspicy - I really love your art style so much!!! I have to tell you, me and a friend of mine always crack up when we see our comic about Otabek looking through Yuri’s baby pictures. The amount of times a day we make that pose, you know the one, is ridiculous. Thank you for bring this thing into my life, it quite honestly is one of the things that I can look at and always be happy <3 


Sorry this got so long but I wanted to make sure I got everyone and I’m sure I still missed someone and if I did I’m so sorry, I promise I still love and appreciate you <3 

silverskye13  asked:

Hello! I've been really admiring your colored pencil work and was wondering if you had any tips or suggestions on how to blend colors? Or maybe any good references/tutorials I could look at? Thank you very much regardless, and I hope you have a good day!

Hi ! I hope you don’t mind me publishing this publicly, because I’ve been thinking about sharing some traditional art tips I’ve discovered over the years and this ask is the perfect occasion to do it.

Okay first of all I’m self-taught and never been to art school so maybe some the things I’m gonna say are actually bad ! Take it with a grain of salt and experiment yourself ! Also this is gonna be about coloured pencils only so… Yeah.

Okay so :

- I know the tool doesn’t make the artist but when it comes to coloured pencils it makes a great fucken difference whether your pencils are 1euro offbrand Rik et Rok at Auchan or… Better quality. If you’re really determined to work traditionally with pencils, you should think about getting some good pencils, where they have more pigment and a thicker consistence. I’m partial to Faber-Castell Polychromos but they’re very pricey so if you find another good brand that’s cheaper go for it (also hit me up ahah)

- Every brand is different. As I said, I primarily use Faber-Castell but recently my aunt gave me another brand that is a also “quality brand” (I don’t have the box at my flat so I don’t remember the name) but while the colours were really vibrant they also spread and smudged much more easily. I didn’t really like it, but if you’re used to it, I’m sure you can do great stuff !

- Also, use untextured paper. I don’t know why they say grainy paper is ideal for pencils ahah ^^ It gives a weird pixel effect when you scan it because of the tiny white holes you can’t fill with your pencil. I like smooth Canson paper better ! I use Exacompta paper but I mean there are a ton of brands who offer the same stuff.

- You can sketch with a mechanical pencil and everything but you shouldn’t keep graphite pencil on your page when you colour, otherwise your colours are going to get a weird greyish colour and it’s just Ugly. For me it’s the hard part of drawing digitally: I sketch with a mechanical pencil, then I take a coloured pencil and erase every line to trace over it with the coloured pencil. It’s boring and hard but it’s for the greater good.

- When you line with the coloured pencil, take an “in between colour”, like that’s what I call some colours that blend well with everything ? Because lines will smudge so you want to avoid clashes. Dark colours such as purple or black I tend to avoid because huge dark smudges aren’t a good look, unless you’re going for something in that colour palette. Same for all other colours, especially blues (cause the SECOND you use yellow it’s Over - be super careful with yellow and blue I’m warning you so you can avoid my fate). I usually take a deep pink (magenta) because pink is the ideal blend colour since it’s between warm and cool tones. Sometimes when I want to go for a more natural look I use browns that blend well too.

- Also once you’re done colouring reline everything because smudged/less clear/less vibrant lines

- I tend to line everything with the same colour so there is continuity within the drawing. I use other colours for when I want a certain item to pop up.

- Pink is your ultimate best friend. Want to make that gradient between yellow and blue ? Use pink in the middle. It works for everything. I love pink.

- The trick is, go lightly at first, then add more and more layers. Think a bit like digital layers ? You do your flats first (rough colours, you don’t even have to fill it all properly like you can leave some white), then you put a layer of another colour (usually with the strokes in another direction like if your first colour has vertical strokes then go horizontally or diagonally), then another, then another again, and you refine that shit until it looks good.

- If you go on my earliest art pages you’ll see that my art wasn’t as well coloured as it is right now. Shit was LIGHT AS FUCK (and I kept complaining that I wasn’t able to get deep colours ahah). As with all shit, it’s gonna take a while to get it right.

- I hate colouring clothes so my Bullshit Secret Technique is horizontal or kinda wavy/following the movement of the clothing crosshatching with a lot of colours until it makes a decent gradient (see  all of my drawings in April 2016)

- Single coloured flats are hard. Get one colour, then get another colour and draw over your flat. Okay it won’t be all the same colour but 1) nuances are good 2it’s easier for some reason. Maybe it’s just in your head ? I don’t know.

- If you can get one of these small eraser pens like pens but they’re erasers, get them, especially to erase your sketch, it saves lives. At least it saved mine. It’s so much easier to erase one line at a time than erase everything then lose track of where was what.

- Get a white gel ink pen for highlights and tiny sparkling stuff
- Know where the light parts of your drawing are going to be beforehand because there’s no way to get them back once they’re gone.

- Get a tablet and draw digitally. You can do much more stuff much more easily. Patterns ? Highlights ? Fluorescence ? Ctrl-Z ? Flats ? Resizing ? Last-minute glow in the dark ? Can’t do that traditionally. It’s too late for me cause I’d have to relearn everything and I’m lazy but if you’re getting started draw digitally.

- Otherwise add tiny sparkling stuff it’s really lovely.

Aaand here ! I don’t know if that really helped you, I’ve said it before but I draw really instinctively so it’s hard to explain what I do ^^’ Thanks for the compliments though, and have a nice day too !

dan and phil play the sims 4 #39: a summary


impression of the iconic woman from the simpsons

dan has no care for children and i relate

“… not that you’re children” dan says whilst phil is trying to speak

dig yourself into a hole in your own time stop interrupting him you curly haired lumberjack wannabe

i sound mocking but he actually looks bomb i love it

they both do

“don’t talk about the words. the words just come, they mean nothing… like our lives” also just like the rebrand apparently

briefing on the toddler stage

the lack of skills is going to make me cringe

phil watched the video back just to call dan out, what a guy

they feign surprise that we’re so observant

the parp debate

“… and other things i’m not particularly comfortable with you saying”

“he’s just dead in the bed” // “he’s fine”

phil recalls being in daycare and crushing trucks in sand with his friend owen…. okay boy

can’t wait for the abundance of original characters called owen in fics now

dan just remembers a sandpit

what kind of fancy ass daycares did you two go to i didn’t have any of that shit i just remember all the girls except for me used to fight over the doll pram whilst i sat alone in the corner of the room attempting to read and being sad that i was there

both their daycares were inside and they stank because ‘everyone peed’ …. again what kind of daycare did you two go to

“even though we were three hundred miles and a couple of years apart… we had the same experience” // “essentially that sand came from the same place” i’m so done with these two and it’s not even three minutes in

“fill the bath with fruit loops”

the toddler food glitch is so fucking annoying and seeing it in let’s plays only annoys me more

phil thinks the final bedtime story will be about a dragon

“party miami dad with abs”

“hey dan it’s your ripped jeans, you just need to cut them off as shorts” // “oh my god, yes, and when i have abs i will wear a top like that”

please stop talking over each other we’re not even four minutes in yet this is going to be painful

“that’s kind of dragon, come on, give that to me” the latter of this sentence immediately triggered the 'it’s not the first time he’s said those words’ sensor in my brain

phil wants to change the miami dad outfit whereas dan literally screeched his argument to keep it

phil feels pain in his own stomach watching a simulation on a screen do ab crunches

the excitement over transformation of the day is cute what a cute thirty year old man you are

“that reminds me, you should do transformation of the day, come on, i’ve been waiting” very contradictory but sure okay phil

“time to sacrifice one of our children” the youtube comments are going to have a field day with that one aren’t they

“party dil’s whacking out…”

the draw phil naked music :((((

dan the materialistic man resurfaces

the first singing interlude of the video

“is it dab or usain bolt, scientists can’t tell”

“happy famalamies”

“how does one cake” me on a regular basis honestly

they both agree that blue confetti cake sounds 'birthday-ish’

the artistic prodigy aspiration and the cheerful trait were chosen

“dab - a ray of sunshine running through everyone’s lives”

“i’m like who is this thing in the house” phil lester english university degree holder

lame science jokes from dan there

supportive bf phil is back with a vengeance though don’t you worry

the game spawned him with bunny slippers nice

“he’s growing up before our eyes, dan” fanfic writers have fun

“i’m gonna punch. and i’m gonna punch you, phil. because you’re the only one here” // *phil leans away* “don’t punch ME!”

“amphibians need representation”

cue the 'de-toddling’ decor section

“dinosaurs are still valid”

phil was scared of space print bedding he had as a kid

apparently it included the molester moon so i mean that’s a thing he said

and here’s the creepy speaking in sync thing again. add it to the compilation videos

“easy beans”

a creativity table for children gave phil tingles

the debate over whether or not to give him a tablet is really proving who will be the easygoing parent and who will be the disciplinarian (the majority of the fics were right)

“you-you’re gonna not give someone at school access to youtube? how can they make it through life without minecraft youtubers?” he was speaking from personal experience minus those last three words

i see u howell

phil wants him to draw a vehicle so dan chooses shapes

domestics are on the horizon

“yes this is danandphilcrafts, who’s gonna be sacrificed to satan?”

phil take that reference back before i shove it where the sun doesn’t shine

time to age up evan

quick sidenote have you seen how many dabxevan fics there are bc wow there are a ton, not that i’ve read any but they’re out there

“see i went to cheese and you went to trapeziums… what does that mean, psychologically?” that dan needs to get his well-educated stick out of his ass and realise a block of cheese when he sees it

“all this cake is making me so hungry, dan..”

this whole cake talk is so domestic what the fuck is happening you just moved how are you still providing domesticity

they’re going to get deliveroo cake

i’m surprised we didn’t get a tweet about that crazy night

apparently eliza is a milf according to dan even though phil says he isn’t allowed to say it (make of that what you will, demons)

daddy pancakes

they’re literally providing more weird fic prompts pls stop

“tumblr’s gonna go nuts. they have matching trackies” so we now know what tags dan stalks on tumblr

red apparently reflects evan

the science set is reminding phil of fallout yes i relate what a quality game

this video took so long to summarise what the actual fuck but okay it’s over it’s just the buildup to the outro now

“don’t explode the universe with a chemistry set” wise words from phil there

Daniel Howell - i guess these puns have to be daniel themed now


Ok lads I'm doin a bigass following spree

I have a shit ton of side blogs for different things so like or reblog if you post one of these or multiple of these:
-the Adventure Zone
-the McElroys
-Miraculous Ladybug
-Heathers the Musical
-The Raven Cycle
-All For The Game
-Ari and Dante
-Harry Potter
-Riordanverse (PJO, HOO, Magnus Chase, Kane Chronicles, etc)
-Cocoppa Play
-LAIKA Movies
-Hunter x Hunter
-Anime movies (ghibli, paprika, TGWLTT, Your Name, Wolf Children, etc)
-Aesthetic Stuffs
-Witch Stuffs
-cool fun art
-piss (thanks peach for this one)
-this is important but if you DON’T ship adults with minors (you don’t have to be super into the discourse or speak out against it, I just don’t wanna follow anyone that ships minors with adults or any other taboo shipping because it makes me super uncomfortable)

This is for various side blogs that I either have now or will have, but this is my main so I’ll follow from here. Also I hope you don’t mind people liking a ton of your posts because I use my likes to hold posts in gonna queue

Also if you see this post and think some of your followers will dig it, can you please reblog it? I really am trying to follow 200-300+ blogs since I only follow like 150 right now and my dash is constantly empty

yes but there’s also 

  • ‘I’m hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
  • 'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It’s time to pay up.’ au
  • 'Who keeps using my wifi?’ 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.’ au
  • Tried to unlock the wrong car in the parking garage au
  • 'I’m on the FBI’s most-wanted list for killing a fuck ton of people, but calm down I just wanna date you bc your face is v smoochable and you give me butterflies.’ au
  • See also; 'Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
  • 'We really should not have played Monopoly’ au
  • Life-sized version of Clue in the old manor on the hill au
  • 'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you’re hot and I’m thirsty but now I’ve developed actual feelings for you bc you’re a genuinely good person’ au
  • 'Fuck me you’re cute why did we have to meet on the one day I decided to stay in my sweats??’ au
  • 'I went to the bar last night bc I just got dumped and wanted to drink away my pain but then one thing lead to another and somehow I broke into your house thinking it was mine and now I can’t find my left shoe but are those waffles I smell?’ au
  • 'I saw that you were reading Eleanor and Park have you gotten to the part where she leaves him and if so can we talk about it because not a lot of people have read this book and I need a shoulder to cry on.’ au
  • 'You passed out in Disneyland and I’ve been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??’ 'Yes I’m okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?’ 'I’m the face character for Peter Pan but that’s not important’ au
  • 'I don’t really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you’ve already turned him down, so I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend  until they leave you alone.’ au
  • Bonnie and Clyde au???
  • Attend same-sex privet schools that are right across the street from each other au
  • Masquerade au
  • 'I don’t like you and you don’t like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we’ve got to act civil and end up falling for each other’ au
  • [Basically a Life As We Know It au]
  • 'Found your number inside of a library book that looks like it hasn’t been checked out in ages and decided to text you to see if it worked au
  • 'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I’m freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don’t get a lot of time together but fuck no please don’t leave me not yet no.’ au
  • 'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it’s haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?’ au
  • 'I know that you’re really into school and probably don’t want to risk your spot on the college football team, but would you mind if I smoked in our dorm room??’ au
  • Followed by 'Nah, I don’t care, as long as I can shotgun some smoke from that pretty little mouth of yours.’ au wow that got sexual and I am not sorry.
  • Went to the beach for the first time au
  • Ancient Rome au
  • Rival team captains who know nothing about personal space and constantly get into fights where they end up face-to-face every single game until one day one of the coaches yells at them to either kiss or get back to the game au
  • 'Hey, so I might have just robbed a bank right now and I kind of need a getaway car, would you pleeeeeaaase help me I can pay you back in sexual favors but also cash.’ au
  • 'I know that you don’t know me, but you were on the receiving end of my girlfriend/boyfriend’s heart donation and being around you kind of makes it feel like they’re still here I’m sorry if that’s kind of weird.’ au
  • 'Shit I wasn’t watching where I was walking and ended up spilling my Rockstar all over your white sweater I’m so sorry here have my jacket.’ au
  • Caught yelling at Go, Diego, Go in the hospital waiting room and after an awkwardly long period of silence the other person joins in bc they’ve got nothing better to do with their waiting time au
  • 'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they’re p hot but it’s v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.’ au
  • It’s three am, I just wanted some clam chowder, and some how I ended up on Hollywood Bl. can you please tell me where a good restaurant is I think I’m going to cry.’ au
  • 'Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we’re dating so they don’t think I’m hung up on them I swear I’ll pay you later.’ au
  • 'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.’ au
  • 'So I know we just met but it’s raining and my tent has a hole in it, could I sleep in your camper with you?’ au
  • 'Okay okay okay I know we’re just friends and I don’t want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we’re dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister’s wedding as my plus one so my mom won’t know I lied?’ au
  • 'Hit me, we’re on college campus and you’ll have to pay for my tuition’ au
  • 'Your headphones aren’t plugged in all the way so that hardcore porn fic you’ve been listening to for the past ten minutes has been broadcasting through the bus on full volume.’ au
  • The Breakfast Club au
  • Wimbledon [the movie] au
  • West Side Story au
  • 'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I’m always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I’ve never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we’re actually dating shh]’ au
  • 'It’s two am, we’re standing outside of our apartment building bc someone pulled the fire alarm, and you look cold and unprepared, do you want to share my blanket?’ au
  • Heartache On The Big Screen au
  • Breakfast At Tiffany's au omg pls
  • 'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can’t believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.’ au
  • Long Way Home au
  • We like each other but our dogs don’t so I’m going to have to ask you to stop taking this walking route you attractive fucker’ au
  • 'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don’t end up being the same person. And that’s something I had to learn the hard way.’ Au
I keep seeing "blogs Homestuck characters would have” and I'm going to set the record straight

 John: 2010 memes and tutorials on practical jokes. He posted a screamer once but a follower told him that was fucked up and he deleted it and never did again. Sends kind anon messages. Basically the leader of a whole friend group, seems to know everyone personally? He and Jane have running arguments about cake. 

Dave: aesthetic pictures of swords that he’s glitched beyond recognition, his own “art”, basically a tumblr funnyman along the lines of like, slimetony, but with more SBAHJ. Lots of weird niche memes, makes his own music and it’s actually really good. 

Rose: “Welcome to my twisted mind” is her header, no one can tell if she’s serious or not. “Here’s how to summon a demon” kind of tumblr witch. Probably the reason people in that world worry about the literal Stealing of Human Bones.

Jade: “I will take care of you with crystal energy” kind of tumblr witch. Lots of pictures of dogs and other cute animals! Didn’t really figure out that you don’t have to add comments to every post you see but it’s okay because she’s super sweet. Someone once sent mean messages to her and her friends and she took them down so brutally and effectively that they deleted. Everyone’s a little scared of her but they love her so much.

Roxy: Used to post a lot of positivity for others along with a lot of self-hate, later revamped and is all about positivity all around. Also sends kind messages. When she deletes things They Stay Gone. Despite Dave’s popularity her posts circulate the most and it’s not uncommon for them to go around 4 or 5 times on everyone’s dash per week. She’s just nice. Once someone yelled at her for her posts about booze and alcoholism way back and she did the internet version of sitting them down and talking earnestly about addiction. They apologized. She said it was okay but never do that again because no one owes you their life story. Running series of “jokes” with Jane about being married, eventually they start dating.

Jane: tumblr version of those surreal food bloggers. She posts tons of recipes but they’ve got kinda weird shit in the background like “obey” in tiny font on the pictures and the descriptions are vague. Basically food gothic. Also posts terrible jokes and puns, on occasion starts discourse in the utensil and cake mix fandoms. Also posts A TON of comedians, Parks & Rec gifs of Ron Swanson, and makes gifsets of her favorite black-and-white noir detective films. Posts selfies of herself in a mustache. Replies to anon hate with stuff like “Listen, buster, I have literally dealt with attempts on my life. I have received letter bombs from people angry with my family’s cake mix. You don’t scare me.” Once had a huge breakdown though. Everyone ships her and Roxy.

Dirk: Made a tumblr bot called, like, “halbotover9000″ or something, but it became sentient and started making callout posts for him and ruining his friendships. It went inactive for a while and everyone assumed he deleted the bot, but really he just passed it on to Equius. When it resurfaces there are just tons of posts about milk and horses.

Jake: He has no idea what he’s doing, how do you use tumblr, can everyone see these posts? Here’s a cool rock he found in the forest. Starts a whole Gigantic Tumblr Anger Thing, is totally oblivious until it all crashes down. Deletes his blog for a while and then makes a new one in which he barely interacts with anyone ever but he seems somewhat happier. Puts tags in the description like Jade, but more unintentional.

Aradia: Similar to Rose, but posts WAY more depression memes. Also her blog has a lot of archaeology stuff? Talks about time travel a lot, too. Really enthusiastic or totally apathetic there is no in-between. Has an elaborate ongoing roleplaying scenario with Vriska, Tavros, and Terezi. When Vriska hurt Tavros, she set a bunch of her followers (she calls them “ghosties”) on Vriska, which ended with Vriska doxxing her. She came back though, in a quasi-relationship with Equius, who she broke up with after discovering lesbianism. Now gay as hell.

Tavros: POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL! He posts a lot of stuff about the Peter Pan movies, books, musicals, etc. Reblogs posts about being disabled and also posts about self-esteem and how to build it. Is constantly being torn down by Vriska, eventually tells her to fuck off but not until WAY after the incident. He posts stuff about keeping animals, especially cows.

Sollux: Who are we kidding, he’s on reddit. He says it’s because it’s cooler but he’s really just sort of scared. 

Karkat: His blog is Emo™. He posts sad song lyrics, rom-com gifs, and FUCKTONS OF ANGRY POSTS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE WHAT HE LIKES. All his writing is in all caps, people ask why. He says it’s because the world has earned his rage. Really the caps button got stuck a long time ago and he got used to it and now lower case looks weird.

Nepeta: Cat gifs cat gifs cat gifs!!!!! Volunteers at an animal shelter, posts about kitties looking to get adopted. Super sweet. Lowkey a furry and interacts on those “open rp” posts only to get made fun of, doesn’t really understand it. Gets a ton of anon hate for no reason? But she’s friends with Equius and Equius is………. uh…….. so eventually people leave her alone. She’s listed as a “cringey” blog sometimes but everyone who actually follows her thinks she’s adorable and is a little happier when they see her on their dash. 

Kanaya: Lesbian Blog. Inserts herself into tumblr drama all the time to mediate, mostly ends up making things worse. Got so mad at Eridan that he deleted his blog, is very proud of this. Posts pictures of herself with her chainsaw and elaborate topiaries. Fashion aesthetic. People reblog her selfies with “holy shit step on me” and “I’m too gay” and she loves it.

Terezi: get ready for that shitty leetspeak, it’s ya gal Terezi Pyrope here with so many gotdamn bright colors that your eyes will spin. You thought Dave had a bad theme? She’s got the worst one. Posts memes about everything. Roleplays with Nepeta sometimes and no one can tell if it’s sincere. Used to roleplay with Vriska but they had a horrible fight which ended in a way people don’t really know but afterwards she got someone to post a picture of her with bandages all around her eyes and the caption “1M BL1ND NOW YOU DUMB FUCKS”. People tried to call her out but damn she is. She is the law. Don’t try that shit on her she’ll destroy you.

Vriska: The literal worst. holy shit. Has done most of the terrible shit in the book. Scams people, doxxes them, sends SHITTONS of anon hate. Spams the block button on anyone who calls her out and then posts infinite shit about them. Pulls receipts. But she’s holy shit pretty and has a legion of loyal followers who are just as willing to attack people because she Can Do No Wrong. A few people know about her awful home life but she warned them not to spread it on pain of death. Ran a fortune-telling blog but it was Bad Shit. Spiders, so many spiders.

Equius: Fetish blog he doesn’t know is a fetish blog.

Gamzee: ………….part of the clown uprising???

Eridan: “Eridan Ampora. 13. Male. Bisexual but don’t let it fuckin fool you I don’t take shit. White. My family has money. Basically everything tumblr hates. Women are bitches haha amiright?” Constantly posts about how he can’t get a date, also posts… wow some terrible shit. Also history, for some reason? And selfies with his rifle collection. 

Feferi: ENDLESS CUTTLEFISH PICTURES. ENDLESS. SO MANY FISH PUNS! SHE TAKES PICTURES OF HER FISH AND GIVES THEM CUTE CAPTIONS. Was friends with Eridan for a while, eventually realized how terrible he was and left.

anonymous asked:

I'm a Murse as well! I just finished my first year of nursing school and I can't decide between the ICU and the ER. I've seen a few of your posts about it that you've said but what are more in depth thoughts one vs the other? What you do, or learn compared to one another? Or why you enjoy the ED vs why you enjoy the ICU? If you've already posted this just tag your previous post! Or copy/paste!

Dear Anon,

There are pros and cons of working in both units. Again, I could write a whole chapter in my book about working in both the ICU and ED, but I’ll keep my answer to your question relatively short. (lol, yeah right)

Originally posted by haidaspicciare


ICU - Generally speaking, you keep the same 1-3 patients for an entire shift, which can be good or bad depending on how sick they are and how well-behaved they are (or aren’t). And if you work several shifts in a row, you could have the same patients for multiple days, which, again, could be good or bad depending.

ED - You constantly have new patients. Depending on how busy your ED is, you could easily have double digits by then end of a 12-hour shift. Again, if you have bad patients, it’s good to get them out quickly, but it just means that you’ll get another unknown coming in. Unlike the ICU, you’ll have new patients every shift… well, generally speaking. You’ll also get those frequent ED fliers who come in for the same shit every time and you’ll roll your eyes and be like…

Originally posted by datgifarchive

Critical Thinking

OK, so, when I told my mentor that I was leaving the ICU to go work in the ED, she was genuinely disappointed. She told me that I would be wasting my critical thinking skills and my talents. I tend to disagree, but I do see some validity in her argument. Allow me to expound…

ICU - In the ICU you are hanging multiple critical drips and are constantly titrating those drips to keep patients alive. Some nights you’re riding the pumps and constantly re-assessing the patient; listening to their lungs for signs of fluid overload, or doing repeat EKGs looking for signs of an MI. You’re starting IVs on seriously ill patients, suctioning vents, and countless other focused assessments that require non-stop critical thinking.

ED - Contrary to what my mentor believes, nurses most certainly use critical thinking in the ED. A nurse triages the patients and a nurse is the first to see a patient, so we have to be thorough in our assessments to look for the subtle signs of something more severe. The doctors and nurse practitioners rely on the nurses to guide them in the right direction. ED nurses are looking for different things than ICU nurses. ICU nurses know what the patient’s diagnosis is because and ED nurse and the team they work with helped to find the diagnosis.


I think the main difference between skills in the ICU and ED is that ED nurses start a shit-ton more IVs and drop a shit-ton more NG tubes. ED nurses don’t usually have to deal with patient’s on multiple drips, but it doesn’t mean they’re not capable. And while ICU nurses are certainly adept at starting IVs, most ED nurses could probably find a vein in their sleep.


If you like something new every day and a fast-paced, always changing environment, then the ED sounds like a good fit. If you’re more meticulous and like your IV lines neat and organized, then you’d fit right in with the ICU crew. The ED can be stressful because of the trauma you see and for the sheer volume of pain and suffering that comes through the door. The ICU can be stressful, too, but for other reasons. 

There is not a cut-and-dry answer to your question. I like my lines and cords neat and tidy and I’m very thorough in my assessments, but as a former firefighter and EMT, I’m used to the chaos and fit right in with that group as well.

There’s nothing stopping you from trying both! Work in one for a year or so and then try the other.

I hope this “short” answer helps. Thanks for taking the time to ask a question! As always, I open the floor to other nurblrs to share their thoughts!

Mursenary Gary

anonymous asked:

Can we talk HP queer politics then? Cos you sound like you actually get it. Like, I'm so tired of going into the Drarry tag and seeing "Draco is a bottom, get over it" sort of stuff. Like they're defining H and D by their roles in the bedroom (and half the time they make Draco into this super effeminate, tiny, needy thing, and Harry into a super macho, muscular giant). I like that they're equals, and even if one does prefer to bottom, their don't have to change who they are to suit stereotypes

Unleash the beast, why don’t you? We can DEF talk about queer politics! I mean, I think we’re basically in agreement, but we can definitely talk queer politics.

So, first off, I don’t have a problem with people having preferences. Not in fic and not in bed. If people only want to top or bottom, or only want to read about topping and bottoming, I have absolutely no quarrel with that.

However, I think things get trickier when we talk about the overlap between sexual preferences and gender presentation and personality, and treat the relationship between those things as something static and absolute. 

(tl;dr: maculinity != a desire to penetrate; femininity != a desire to be penetrated. Also a desire to penetrate !=masculinity; a desire to be penetrated !=femininity.)

One of the challenges of being queer is finding other queer people. The historically most straightforward way to do that is to find ways to be recognizable to other queer people, and to recognize the queer people around you. So there are tons of ways, over the course of queer history, that queer people have found to be recognizable to each other.  Being butch or femme, giving violets, wearing handkerchiefs, having your right ear pierced, and many others. And if you’re not recognizable, you can have some trouble finding your people.

A lot of the ways of being that help you find your people involve slotting in to specific gendered modes of expression. And that’s where things get even messier because we’re really fucking terrible at separating gender identity and personality.

But they’re separate! Like, there’s a stack of cargo shorts and polos and studded belts and handkerchiefs and shit from the first year I started actively dating women. It worked for letting people know that I was interested in dating women, but it also involved hearing a lot of weird assumptions and getting asked to join a lot of softball teams. Really, I’m more comfortable in pencil skirts and heels than all those cargo shorts. I also have a gf who gives patriarchal beauty standards at least a halfie on the regular. But when I’ve met friends of hers - straight and not - they, based on what they know of her, are sometimes legit surprised that I’m not butch. Because if she looks like a girl, I must be butch, right? Heteronormativity makes it difficult, if not impossible, for people to understand that kind of variation. Sometimes even legally. It confuses people when we won’t play by those rules or use those terms. And I know I’m not the only person for whom that’s true, or the only person who has played up a type of gender identity for the purposes of communicating with (or confounding) a particular audience.

So anyway, for years and years and years - centuries - queer people have had to find ways to make themselves recognizable. That has often been done (as makes sense, coming from a world steeped in heteronormative social scripts, and where mutual legibility is a priority) by marking gender in some way. Those gendered presentations get taken to represent someone’s masculinity (including (because people are stupidly lumping these things together) their stoicism, strength, bravery, and desire to penetrate) or femininity (including their emotional transparency, weakness, fearfulness, and desire to be penetrated).

And I swear all of this has to do with fanfiction. 

First, though, I’d like to tell you about a word. It’s a pretentious, douchebaggy word, but it’s useful here. That word is reification. To reify something is to take an abstract idea and make it real. So, for instance, if you believe that girls wear pink and are innately gentle, and you buy your daughter all pink clothes and scold her every time she’s ungentle, thereby making her, a real person, into your abstract idea of what “girl” means, that’s an act of reification. K?

So, fanfiction!! (In fairness, I did say the thing about unleashing the beast.)

My beef, again, is not with people who prefer to read topping or bottoming. Whatevs. I have a completely mysterious predilection for rentboy fic and once wrote 17k of parselsmut, so, like, hi, not here to judge.

I do have some beef, though, with the idea that Draco is an effeminate bottom and that Harry is a heroic top. Or, more precisely, with the idea that Draco is a bottom because he’s perceived as effeminate in a certain type of fanon depiction and with the idea that Harry must be the top because he is the hero.

Several reasons.

1. Gender presentation != Sexual behavior. These things are not intrinsically connected. We associate them with each other, we even do (”do”) them, because there’s so much history to certain representations that we think they make sense. (See above, re: needing to be recognizable) But they don’t make actual sense outside of the socially constructed myths we have about them. Your skirt is not a direct line to your clit. Your manly chinos say nothing about your cock. Your clothes don’t even say anything about what your genitalia is or looks like or how you do or don’t like it to be touched. You cannot look at someone’s outfit or listen to their voice or look at their walk and know if they like dirty talk or a good spanking or facials or sex clubs or vibrators, right? So why would you think that you can look at someone’s outfit or listen to their voice or look at their walk and know if they prefer to penetrate, be penetrated, or both?

2. Draco’s Characterisation. This gets headcanony and I recognise that these things are not universal, but if we’re talking about bottom!Draco, let’s talk about bottom!Draco. There’s a certain fanon depiction of Draco, that I *think* dates at least to, and maybe largely from, Maya and Underwater Light (though I wouldn’t swear to the history) that paints Draco as frenetic and silly and effeminate and *fabulous* in a stereotypical sort of way. But Draco, as a character in canon, is probably under more pressure than any other character to perform masculine masculinity. He is explicitly required to be violent, stoic, and domineering. He has been trained to that from birth. Sometimes effeminatefanonDraco is rebelling against that, which I can sometimes buy if it’s a few years out. But, you know, it’s pretty hard to overcome a lifetime’s worth of conditioning, and I can’t imagine that Draco wouldn’t have a pretty hard time coming to terms with anything that he saw as really undermining that masculinity. And here the fiction/reality lines get tricky precisely because there’s nothing about being penetrated that’s inherently non-masculine - in another world we might say that being penetrated takes more strength in any number of respects, and we can’t know how wizards feel about this one - but in the world fic authors are writing from, getting penetrated is more frequently associated with femininity. So even if you are going to do this thing that I think we should all not do or at least be very very careful about doing, and conflate gender presentation with a preference for certain sexual behaviors, making Draco “the bottom” doesn’t actually make a whole lot of sense to me.

3. Harry’s characterisation. How pissed off do you think Harry James Potter would be about all this? Harry, who grew up with the Dursleys probably sniffing and turning up their noses at those people. Harry, who is saddled with being heroic even though it’s not something that he really wants. Harry, who is not ever given as much emotional space as he seems to really need, who never gets to have much of an affective outlet for his grief or his fear or his joy. Harry, who hates it when people treat him with deference because he’s a hero. How much do you think Harry James Potter would hate his unwanted heroism invading his most personal, intimate interactions? How do you think Harry would feel about being told that because he’s your hero, because he’s the fucking saviour, he better not like taking it up the arse, better not explore his prostate, better not like getting fucked, because that doesn’t jibe with his fans’ idea about the kind of man a hero can be? Cause I’m betting it would get a little face-punchy.

4. Reification. The sexual scripts we see around us inform our ideas about sexuality and identity. These representations of bottom!Draco as super effeminate either suggest that effeminate people are bottoms, or that bottoms must be effeminate. And that idea doesn’t stay on the page. If you buy into it - especially if you really buy into it and don’t realize that it’s a tropey fic thing (which you may be most likely to do when your sexuality is in its most formative moments) - you run serious risk of coming to believe that this construction of relationships is natural and real and The Way Things Are. Or you come to believe that if you want to be penetrated you need to be effeminate in order to be recognizable. Or you become the reason that people who want to be penetrated feel they have to adopt more feminine modes of presentation. Or you become the asshole who asks gf and I who the man is. The stories we tell each other matter. By passing these assumptions around, by treating them like they are TRUE FACT and OBVIOUSLY Draco must be a bottom because he’s effeminate (which, see #2), you’re supporting the idea that gender presentation and sexuality are the same, and you’re propping up a system wherein people have to reify your ideas in order to be recognizable. 

So, in conclusion: yeah it really bums me out too. And I think Harry would hate it, and I think Draco as we leave him in canon would not recognize himself in it. And, more important than the feelings of fictional characters, I think it does something kind of dangerous for all the actual queer people who are navigating the world, in that (a) they/we see these depictions and feel like they/we have to fit in to them in order to be recognizable to each other and to have any hope of finding the kind of sexual partner they/we want (especially because, especially for people who are just realizing they’re queer, there probably aren’t a ton of RL queer people and relationships to take as models, so whatever stories are available can be sort of extra formative) and (b) it reassures straight people that their incorrect assumptions are correct and that heteronormativity really is natural and right because even in non-straight relationships there’s a man and a woman, and makes them into the kind of straight people who demand a certain type of performance from the queer people in their lives and who get distressed and unpleasant (to say the least) when they don’t get that performance. And heteronormaitvity wins again.

And in all of that, the adherence to effeminate bottom/manly top relationships in our fictional lives is kind of a loss for all of us, if it keeps us from seeing new possibilities. If we stay stuck on the idea that feminine people like to get fucked and masculine people like to do the fucking, we lose out on a whole host of other possibilities - like that we could base our sexual behavior on what feels good instead of on what we feel like we should be.

fullonlarriemainblog  asked:

Hey! So I just saw what you said on the end of that ask about the beach au fic, and I'm curious about tagging properly because I feel like I'm bad at tags. I either over tag and it doesn't make sense or under tag. What's necessary in your opinion as far as tags go? This could be helpful for a lot of people, I think. I personally don't want to tag top/bottom, but other than that I'm open to whatever.

Oh It’s actually a good question !!

I think authors should think about if they REALLY want people to find their fic in the shit ton of AO3 fics. Because tagging only the main OTP and characters is not helping AT ALL.

As a fic reccer who spend a lot of time on AO3 doing search by tags for people, here’s some things authors should think to tag :

- places : London ? LA? beach ? Australia? University ?

- jobs : architect Louis ? Popstar Harry? (if you wrote a famous/not famous : which on is the famous and which one is the not famous?)

- characteristic of main characters : rich Harry ? depressed Louis ? bisexual ? lonely? fratboy?  Virgin ?

- main plot : Friends to lovers ?  Hate to Love ? famous-not famous ? High School AU ?

- Canon or Alternative Universe

- characteristic of your fic : angst ? fluff ? slow burn ? minor violence ? TW ?  Tag them all.

- SMUT : it’s really up to you to chose to tag bottom/top . But for the rest : tag it all. There’s a lot of people who’re just spending their time on a specific tag , like chocking, or rimming, or anything really. so tag your wall sex /  shower sex / car sec / blowjob / Dirty talk / etc

(update :

- Presence of stunt ? Het relationship - even with a side OTP? : TAG IT)

Also, I know some authors dont want to spoil their fics with tags. But really, you have to think about if you want to help people to find your fic easily .

and I know some people too (love you Addy) who looooooove to put long ass and funny tags . Just know it’s not really helping to find your fic. So maybe put all your useful tags at once, and then have fun with them after ?

I hope it’s helpful ! :)

jojoroxye  asked:

:) Hey, I just read what you wrote about the supercorp fandom and I agree with all my heart. I'm gay and I ship supercorp but I think the supercorp fandom is crazy (not all the members of course). I'm sure Melissa and Jeremy are not homophobic. There are too many SJW in the fandom... Also it's awful what the cast have to endure. So thank you for speaking up, I just want you to know that we are not all crazy and I respect karamel.

Hello, nice Supercorp shipper!

I know supercorpes are not all crazy. I just interact, like most of the Karamel shippers, with the idiots who come to our tags. So, it’s hard sometimes to remember not all Lena x Kara fans are like that, even if I know that. And well, supercorp is a big fandom, so statistically you have more fanatic and vocal idiots than us. It’s the problem of every big fandom, I guess.

I have no problems with the ship, I have problem with idiots who say they represent all of the shippers. I talk with people who are lgbt members and who ship Karamel. I talk with gays and bisexuals who like Mon and Chris what makes supercorp shippers surprised – like? Gays attracted to hot actor, wow, what next? Lesbians liking hot actresses? *sarcasm*

But seriously, I talked with few Karamel male lgbt community members and they are feel totally ignored. Like they voice is not important because they are men. Add to that the fact fanatic supercorp shippers make a really, really bad PR for the whole fandom in the name of “fighting for lgbt rights” and ugh. You know, I can’t be sure of course, but I feel like the most of so called lgbt members who “fight with homophobes” by throwing shit at the cast, are ermmm, not really giving a shit about homophobia, they just want their ship to happen and are pissed off that things they want won’t happen. Calling people homophobes is the easiest way to make them back off and stop fighting.  And… hmm, again I can’t be sure, but I doubt that all of them are people from lgbt. The way fetishize things or the way they fight using hate – do people who are a part of a community that got tons of shit and hate do the same thing to others? Who are innocent? It’s hard to believe.

No, Jeremy and Melissa are not homophobes, they are far from it. They just had enough and chose, maybe not the best, but a way to communicate it.

I talk too much, sorry.

Thanks a lot, seriously. It’s always good when someone reminds you there are good people on both sides. Cheers, mate :D