They tell you to never base your worth on how you compare to society’s definition of ‘attractive.’ They tell you never to compare, period.
But they never tell you how.
Sit tight. I have a lot to say.
I’ve been thinking about this ‘body positivity’ movement that seems so prevalent today. The propaganda that’s available for this movement seems to focus very heavily on size. On weight.
“Big is beautiful.”
“You’re gorgeous no matter what your size.”
I have a few issues with this.
While I’m all about being proud of your size or shape, that’s not the only thing that’s missing representation in the media. You look at these Dove and Victoria’s Secret ads and campaigns for body positivity. And yes, they use bigger models. Fair. Great. Awesome.
But these models also have flawless skin, and not a single hair on their heads are out of place. I’m sure they are photoshopped just as perfectly as the traditional models before them.
‘Sure, we’ll try this new thing where we will accept you if you’re fat. But you better be fat and pretty.’
You cannot have a successful ‘body-positivity’ campaign until every single person involved has prepared THEMSELVES for the experience. Not a make-up team, and not a design team to come in and fix any ‘flaws’ after a photoshoot to do it for them.
The photos posted above are 100% pure, concentrated, me. I am very uncomfortable with both of them. It’s exhausting taking a million shots trying to find the perfect lighting, the perfect angle, and the perfect expression. Both of these photos were shot once. They are not altered in any way.
I have yet to master the art of loving one’s self. I look in the mirror every day and curse the powers that be for my lack of ‘luck’ with genetics.
My wild, unruly, frizzy, uncooperative curly hair, that I’m now realizing is thinning out, and I fear I will be balding soon.
My patchy, thin beard that I will probably never be able to fully grow out and appreciate.
That zit on my nose that I found this morning, and the acne on my forehead.
My pale torso.
And my weight.
All things not included in the traditional image of an attractive young male. All things about myself I still struggle with accepting.
I can be told countless times how I need to love the body I’m in, no matter how big or how little it is. But never once have I heard to accept the other things.
I will never have that square, chiseled, Ryan Reynolds, or Chris Hemsworth jaw. Or their square, attractive faces.
My skin will never be as blemish-free or as smooth as some of my closest friends.
My abs, my ass, and my dick will never be as big as some of the people who run the blogs I follow that they seem to love to flaunt and tease so much and receive a million notes for.
It almost feels like, in order to get acceptance or appreciation, or attention, you need at least one of these things.
A traditionally attractive face,
a fit body,
or the willingness to show off your genitals.
Not that there’s anything wrong with these things, or a lack of these things. There is something wrong, however, with how easily they’re portrayed and worshiped and idolized today. Which drives me crazy, because two out of those three things, we’re born with and can’t control. Yet they’re neglected the most, it seems.
I find it so incredibly baffling that judgement is so easily passed onto things that we have little to no control over. Skin color. Height. Your parents’ genetics.
Your fucking dick size. The fact that people use the size of their dicks as a measure of their power or worth is the most frustrating thing in the world. You did nothing to earn your genitals. And the ‘your dick is small’ insult makes ZERO sense.
But I digress.
I also cannot STAND when I see these people post self-hate or emotional distress on their blogs, only to get flooded with asks that are nothing but “Don’t be so hard on yourself! You’re so cute!”
“I can’t believe you’re suffering through such struggles, you’re so cute!”
As if being cute or handsome means you don’t have the right to be upset.
As if being good looking is a solution for your struggles.
As if being attractive excuses you from the struggles that people who aren’t considered cute or handsome have to endure.
‘Sorry, you’re not attractive enough to be free of distress.’
Just once, I want to see a character in a movie or TV show with a lazy eye.
I want to see a perfume ad with a model that struggles with acne or the scars they leave.
Most, if not all of these things are omitted or ‘fixed’ in the media. And I think they are JUST as important to represent as fat.
I’m not angry. I am naive and confused. And maybe a little jealous of some of these posts that I come across of these guys being worshipped for nothing more than being attractive. Or showing off their dicks and asses. Like worshipped.
But… Its your blog. Do what you want with it.
I’m just very eager for the era where people take chances with other people without using the other person’s physical appearance as motive.
You were born with a gorgeous face and traditionally attractive genetics. Show me something you’ve earned. Show me something you’ve worked for.
Like intelligence and maturity.