i'm so not a writer

i always wonder how a writer would describe me in a novel as a character. what would be my quirks? what would be my strengths? would i be a hero or a villain? what would be my defining physical features they feel the need to describe to the reader? what would be my main drive? what would be my weakness? would they kill me off or would i survive?

Syd Tries FanFiction: The Blarke Reunion

So fair fucking warning I have never in my life written fic before, but I typed this out for @clxrkblake tonight so we could cry and she told me to post it so I’m gonna. Basically this was my ideal, dream reunion before I saw the finale. (I’ve changed my mind about a few things since we saw the new ship but whatever I’ll still dream of this reunion every night for the next 9 months.)

So anyway, I wrote this up in like 30 minutes and there’s probably lots of typos, but deal with it and then come cry with me. <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bellamy sits by the window like he does every year, looking at the planet he used to call home. The glass in his hand is almost empty by now. It almost makes up for the whole thats still in his heart. It almost, for a second makes him forget she isn’t there beside him, that they never got that drink. 

He starts the same as he does every year. “I miss you. It’s been 6 years and I still miss you every day. You’d be so proud of everyone. Even Murphy.” He wipes at the tears collecting in his eyes. It never gets easier.

“I just wish… I wish I’d have told you when we had the chance. Timing never really was our strong suit was it? We were too busy keeping 100 kids alive. I wouldn’t trade it for the world though. Not a second of it.” He lifts the empty cup towards the planet thats now her grave. “I still love ya, Princess.”

He knows Raven’s behind him even before she comes to stand next to him. She’s always there for this. “It’s never gonna get easier is it?”

She shakes her head. “No. I still miss Finn every day. But you learn to deal with it. You never get over losing the one you love, their memory just becomes a part of who you are.”

He nods along. He asks her the same question every year. Every year, expecting to get a different answer. Maybe this time she’ll tell him ‘Yeah. The pain fades. One day you can breathe again. One day you’ll be able to look down at the earth below you and not feel that part of you that’s missing. But she never does.

“She’d be so proud of you Bellamy. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I just-” The static of the radio on his hip interrupts his thoughts. “Shit I thought I turned that off.” He fumbles for it, hands made clumsy by the drinks he’s downed. He barely has it out of the holster when he stops himself. Was that? No… It couldn’t be… It was just the alcohol in his system. But then…

“Where - you?"A voice. A voice even after 6 years, after 100 years he would never let himself forget. Her voice.

"Oh my god…” Raven whispers from behind him. “It can’t…”

The radio depends back into static once more before going silent and Bellamy raises his own shocked eyes to meet Ravens. “Clarke?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They don’t believe him. “You were just drunk Bellamy.” “It’s been six years Bellamy.” They think he’s holding on to a ghost, but he knows what he heard.

“We can’t risk it because you thought you heard a dead girl on the radio.” That’s Murphy.

“It could have been an old transmission… we can’t just go down without knowing anything-”

“I left her once. I am not doing it again. If there is even the slightest chance that she is alive down there, WE ARE GOING BACK FOR HER.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks after the night by the window they make contact. He’s helping Monty check on the algae when he hears Raven screaming his name through the halls.

“I found it.” That’s all it takes for him to follow her to the control room, to the radio, to Clarke.

“This is the station it came through. But we don’t know for sure-”

“Have you tried to make contact yet?”

“No, we were waiting for you.”

“Ok…” He sighs and grabs the radio. This is it. He’s either about to finally find that missing piece of himself or lose it all over again. “This is Ark Ring to… the ground. Is anyone there? Clarke are you there?”

There’s nothing. It feels like hours floating through freezing water waiting to hear something, anything.

Nothing.

“I’m sorry Bell.” Monty puts a hand on his shoulder.

She’s gone. He pushes himself away from the table ready to yell, or cry, or hit something. 

“-ello?”

“Holy shit.”

Bellamy could tell you he’s never moved that fast in his life, almost falling over himself to get to the radio. “Clarke?”

“Bell-my?” His legs give out, but Murphy leans in to ease his fall.

“Yeah. Yeah Clarke it’s me. Oh my- It’s you? It’s really you? How?”

“Yeah Bell, it’s me.” He can hear the tears in her voice, the same as his own. 

“I’m coming back for you. I’m coming back. I promise. I’m not leaving you again.”

“I miss you.” Its all she can say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day they land on Earth the second time, isn’t anything like the first. It’s raining for one.

Two, he knows what’s waiting for him when he opens the door. 

And she is. 

Standing at the tree line, looking as beautiful as the day he lost her, is Clarke. Her hair is shorter. And there’s one or two more wrinkles around her eyes when she smiles, but god is she beautiful. Its like they’re not frozen for a moment, both of them standing in shock and amazement that they finally get this. 

Then, it’s like time is moving in fast forward and he’s on his feet and hers are carrying her towards him and they crash together like suddenly all their forgotten broken pieces are fitting back together. He holds her so close he thinks he can feel her heartbeat in his chest and she tangles her small hands through his hair and they’re both crying. But for the first time in 6 years, they aren’t tears for grieving. He’s sobbing apologies against her hair and she’s whispering forgiveness against his shoulder and it’s almost like they didn’t lose those 6 years. Like they were kids again, stranded on a dying planet, leaning on each other for survival.

He pulls back first to look at her. He wants to take in every single inch of her face and memorize it because he never wants to have to forget that face again. 

“I never gave up.” She laughs. “Not on you.”

He stroked her cheek, through the rain and the tears. “I thought I lost you. For 6 years.”

“You didn’t.” She pulls him close against, resting her forehead against his, and they laugh. 

He spent the past 6 years wishing he hadn’t lost her, dreaming that she could come back to him, praying that he could just hold her one more time. And now he get’s all of it. Because she’s alive and in his arms and laughing with him in the rain and he’s never going to lose her again.

TAH DAH! I hope it wasn’t awful! I’m gonna tag a few mutuals so they can share my pain. Love you guys!

@sassamyblake @bellsgirl @octanakin @ravenbellclarke @starboybellamy @scottmcblake @bobmorlee @stargirlclarke

do you have

that one character

that one freaking character

that you love more than your own life

and you get so fucking happy when you see them on screen

because heck yeah, that’s your baby

Writer Problems

When you lose interest in a story that you’re writing but YOU HAVEN’T LOST INTEREST IN THE STORY, YOU’VE JUST LOST INTEREST IN THAT PARTICULAR PART THAT YOU’RE WRITING AND YOU WANT TO GET TO THE GOOD STUFF THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN BUT YOU CAN’T DO THAT WITHOUT FINISHING THE BORING PARTS

I know everyone’s always talking about Bucky having a mass freak out when he finds out all the dumb shit Steve’s been doing while he was gone but at the same time I feel like the next time Steve jumps out of a plane with no parachute every single other avenger is gonna freak out while Bucky’s just standing there like

other ya characters: this guy…he’s so dark and mysterious, the way he just hurts everyone around him…including me. i’ve cried so much since i’ve met him, but no no he’s just misunderstood, you don’t understand him! and sure i’ve only known him for 2 days and he has a million secrets, but i’d forfeit my life for his

inej ghafa: kaz is a literal piece of crap. he treats everyone badly, and though he’s never treated me horribly, i still won’t give in unless he shows me he can be more than all of this. until then i’ll be out saving the world because my goals are obviously more important than a relationship

Supergirl writers continually trying to demonize a woman who was abused by her mother her entire life and managed to survive and become a strong and independent woman is so fucked up I can’t even. Not everyone who has to endure abuse becomes a bad person fucking stop. She’s been through so much already.

I’m just trying, you know? Day by day, second by second, I’m trying to keep myself together.
—  🖤
  • What She Says: I'm Fine.
  • What She Means: Barney and Robin were the most awesome god damn couple ever and they should not have broken apart just because of a simple travel issue. I find it hurtful that the writers would literally spend an entire season focused on these two's wedding and then within the first 10 minutes of the episode directly following the ceremony have them break up (while also breaking hearts) just so that they can put Robin with a half-fast reunitement of Robin and Ted despite Ted already being with the most perfect human being ever. So what do they do? They kill her off, just so they can put these two characters who have had no success in romantic relationships with each other. So not only do they destroy one adorable and beloved couple but two. Yes, I am still bitter over this.
A note to fanfic writers from an artist.

I’m gonna say something that’s been on my mind for a while now. I want to thank the fanfic winters out there who spend hours writing beautiful pieces of work to share with others, and I’m sorry that so many of you don’t get the recognition or thanks that you truly deserve.

 Coming from an artist, I truly believe that writers have it much harder compared to illustrators in terms of gaining fans and receiving recognition. For artists such as myself, it’s much easier to receive followers, likes, and reblogs because people only need a few seconds to decide whether or not they like the art style and if they want to share it or not. I also have a multitude of social media platforms to choose from: Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Patreon, Deviantart, heck even YouTube and AO3 if I wanted to. For writers, it’s much harder (not only because their platforms are more limited) but because most people either skip past the word of text, don’t have the time to read the fic, or ‘like’ the fic to read it at a later time. This makes it very difficult for fanfic writers to get their work circulated and to gain new fans. 

Additionally, unlike artists, it’s extremely hard to profit off writing (unless you get to publish a book in which case- YAY!!!! But the chances of being published is very very slim;;). Illustrators frequently sell merch, have Patreons, or fill commissions to make a little extra money on the side. With fanfic writers, that’s close to impossible to do. I saw a writer I follow try to open a Patreon and charge three bucks a chapter for a fic they spent hours writing. Three bucks for a 5,000+ word chapter. Thats like five double-spaced, five-paged essays. Do you know how long it takes to write that many words? Asking for three bucks was already extremely, EXTREMELY cheap. But of course, ‘paying for fanfic???? Noooo.’ The amount of hate and negativity that the author received just blew me away. Authors spend just as much time on their works as artists do, so why are some people willing to pay $25-$85 for a drawing, but not three bucks for a chapter? I’m not saying that artists don’t deserve the recognition or money they earn because I know that artists put a lot of time and effort into their art, and I applaud them for utilizing their talents to reach where they are today. I just wish that more people would also give some of their love to the amazing fanfic writers who are underappreciated and deserve so much more. It’s very discouraging when you spend hours on something and barely get recognition for it. So please, help support fanfic writers by sharing their work so they can gain new fans and allow other people to see their amazing talents as well.

10

Hiddlesweek Day 4: Favourite Role

  • The new boss - Jaguar campaign
That’s the hard thing about love, isn’t it? You don’t get a choice. You don’t get to look at someone and say, “I pick you.” It just happens. Someone shows up and all of a sudden it doesn’t matter what you need or deserve. You love them, whether you want to or not.
—  from an unfinished story #761
The people for Tony Stark?

Okay, I was talking with my sister about how awesome it would be if in the wake of Civil War, that the people/public in North and South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, EVERYWHERE! Just showed a subtle but strong solidarity for Tony Stark/Iron Man using what Tony is super into. Technology.
Like, picture this:
Hashtags; Tony is trending for MONTHS.
“I stand for the man that stands with me👏🏽 #IStandWithTonyStark #CaptainAmericaWho?”
“#IronMan with a #ironwill for the people and what’s right!”

People view the footage of the airport battle from the grainy cameras posted all over like crazy because someone uploaded it to YouTube. It’s not the best but you can see how team cap just didn’t pull any punches and how Tony had tried to talk despite not hearing what he’s saying. He looks broke , trying to hold everything together.
People lose their minds when they see Cap’s team charge first and when Rhodes falls from the sky and Tony dives after him.
The comments light up and bbbuuuuurrrrrnnn team cap.
“lmao what a fucking joke. tony is trying to talk to him and do you see this guys body language? he’s not hearing anything. Dude wouldn’t even listen to a team member let alone 117 countries”
“LOOK AT THEM, THEY LET THE HYDRA WITCH BITCH ON THEIR TEAM IN NOTHING FLAT BUT GOD FORBID THEY LISTEN TO IRON MAN”
“Yooo, legit they just kept flying after seeing War Machine go down like that? I saw Falcon turn around but I don’t care man, you’ve LIVED and FOUGHT with this dude and he’s obviously seriously hurt and you just keep flying away in the jet you stole??? Cowards. Pathetic.”
“They really look like they’re trying to kill the real heroes. Fuck I’m glad we have Iron Man and Co. with us”

People organize a day online; through tumblr, twitter, insta, Facebook, any way to get the news out that you wear red on this day and you just subtly grab a pen and draw a circle in your palm for a repulsor just like Iron Man’s. And everything blows up that way. News networks talk about it and talk show hosts, the paper has articles on how the public is showing an unimaginable support for Iron Man and the rest of his team that stayed and fought for them and continue to fight for them during the revision of the Accords.

And I want it to be on the news so much that team cap has to watch it and has to know how much everyone loves Tony and what he’s doing and how he went about it. And how he is an actual hero who did his best and how much the public believe and appreciate him.

an ask meme for fic writers ♥
  • 1: what inspires you?
  • 2: one of your favorite comments/reviews on this chapter/verse?
  • 3: what motivates you?
  • 4: what time of the day/night do you like to write?
  • 5: do you write scenes in a linear fashion or do you write future scenes/dialogues sometimes?
  • 6: hardest/easiest character to write for?
  • 7: hardest/easiest verse to write for?
  • 8: (if you have either or both) how do you manage time with writing, work, school etc.?
  • 9: what tv shows, books, or movies inspire for this verse, if any?
  • 10: any writing advice?
  • 11: (if you use) what do you like about archiveofourown?
  • 12: anything you would do to make archiveofourown different/change it?
  • 13: why did ___(character) do ____ in this fic/verse/chapter/scene?
  • 14: what is the arc for this character (redemption, etc.)? 
  • 15: ask me any spoilers you’re curious about for a verse, and i’ll post the answer in the tags
  • 16: do you ever hand write? why or why not?
  • 17: do you listen to music while you write?
  • 18: any fanmixes you’ve made for this fic/verse?
  • 19: any edits or art you’ve made for this fic/verse/any edits readers have made? if not, what visuals would you use for one?
  • 20: what songs were you listening to during this scene/chapter?
  • 21: this character’s best/worst memory?
  • 22: favorite line/quote/inner monologue from this character?
  • 23: feelings on epistolary fic?
  • 24: do you outline?
  • 25: if you outline, do you edit it frequently?
  • 26: anything you’re planning to write in your fic that you’re worried readers might like?
  • 27: when you read fic, how often do you comment?
  • 28: any scene/line you wrote that you didn’t expect to write/that surprised you once it was written?
  • 29: do you eat or drink anything while you write?
  • 30: any backstory questions about characters
  • 31: any other questions you want to ask
  • 32: what are your stats for this story/verse?
  • 33: favorite one-shot you’ve written?
  • 34: a scene/paragraph you wrote that you’re proud of
  • 35: any foreshadowing/symbolism you wrote that you hope readers didn’t miss?
  • 36: any scenes you wrote that parallel the canon verse?
  • 37: do you use quotes in the beginning notes/intro to your chapters? if so, what are some of your favorites/what are their significance?
  • 38: do you title your chapters? what’s your favorite chapter title? what’s its significance/why did you choose it?
  • 39: any alternate fic titles you were considering for this verse?
  • 40: chapter you’re most proud of in this verse?
  • 41: chapter that was the most fun to write in this verse?
  • 42: five songs that this character has on their iPod/iPhone?
  • 43: emoji this character uses the most whilst texting?
  • 44: have you shared your outline with anyone? if so, what did they think of it?
  • 45: anyone you share excerpts with?
  • 46: story with the most kudos (AO3)?
  • 47: story with the most comments?
  • 48: a happy future moment you’ve written/have planned for this ship? (will post under read more for spoilers)
  • 49: this character’s starbucks order?
  • 50: this character’s guilty pleasure?

I can not believe it took one person to destroy me

One person to discard all of my trust for anyone

One person to make me forget who my real friends were

One person to banish me to the deepest parts of my mind

One person to trick me into thinking that I should never say anything

One person to make me think that I’m not worthy of anything

One person to be so ignorant as to make me think it was all my fault

—  existential-words

my beautiful lover, he’s a complicated mess:
of hidden muscles and sinews that pull the world’s weight;
and a skin so smooth his tears roll off it like pearls over marble;
my quiet lover, he’s a self-made mystery:
of destroyed family portraits and broken glass,
i can hear the crunching sound everytime he clenches his gloved hands
my broken lover, he’s a system of failing organs and collapsing worlds:
of purple galaxies that look a lot like bruises, his father’s beliefs printed on his back like the rawest, reddest form of education
of heirlooms that must be kept in secret and eyes like polished serpentine


but my lover walks like a general and thinks like a king;
ambition shining in those bright green pools like jewels.
and i’ll admit: it only took me an eternity
to realize i was in love with a tragedy

—  boys like him are made of wounds and secrets / warner
6

Clearly that website is mistaken. She always was and always will be number 1.

and she’ll burst—
like a sun-kissed wave crashing against the shore; like a monochrome painting tearing at the seams
and she’ll bloom—
like a heart-shaped moon against a pitch-black sky; like pure sunlight seeping into your skin
and she’ll fade—
like a bird trapped in a blizzard, like a young star dying for the sake of the universe

she will—

when the clouds of men pull their dark cloaks over her starlit eyes.

—  don’t let suns like her be eclipsed / alina