i'm so happy i have my period back

i feel like i’m in a really weird place mentally right now. my brain is so muddled. i’m really happy and having fun, but i’m also super upset and worried about the twins. they’re always in the back of my mind no matter what i’m doing. i also feel like every time i post anything on here i say the wrong thing. i don’t know why. maybe it’s just because my brain is so cluttered, but i feel like everything i say comes out wrong.

So, before more people come at me about this (because this happens periodically with DRTWB and a lot of other fics), let’s have a PSA: I recently received a comment saying that there are aspects of DRTWB that squicks them out, so we have some new tags! :D I’ve had a lot of awesome conversations with people about aspects of this story – from the weird things that happen in dating to how ghosting isn’t adulting (watching you, Yuuri!), how Viktor is just wrong, and how social media makes relationships and non-relationships all topsy turvy (and ya’ll know the wedding story, as in the social media post is real, right down to the comments). I know many of you know this. I didn’t think I’d have to keep mentioning it everywhere, especially publicly, but there it is. These stories are written for the people that know the real stories and are looking to have a laugh. I’m still living, thriving, keeping good people around me, loving my friendships, and using that as inspiration to make people laugh about the random crap that happens to me (if they want to jump into the train wreck(s)). None of that makes anything acceptable. None of it has ever been called acceptable. I trust your judgement to understand how to adult and live your lives (and I use the appropriate rating to ensure adults are reading, even though I’ve at times been asked why I made something an M or E, but, you know, responsible content consumption). But this isn’t about that, because we’ve had this conversation non-stop, so apologies for ranting about it again, but chances are more comments and asks will be coming my way and thought maybe I could prevent some by putting the cards on the table (again)! :D 

(I also considered recording my voice to explain all of this because 1) it’d be easier and less time-consuming, and 2) hopefully that would help stress with tone that none of this actually bothers me and I’m just sitting here perplexed, but still happy.)  

This is what I want to validate for all of you: Folks, if you ever come across content that doesn’t sit well with you, stop reading at the first opportunity. Don’t continue. Don’t get to mid-way through the story, make the full rush through and expect to get claps for effort. Don’t put yourself in situations you don’t like. If you’ve seen this is a trend for a writer, why look at their fics? I will never be offended, hurt, or slighted by people choosing to do what’s best for them. I want you all to make the decisions that best fit the road map to help you live your best lives. Consume content that makes you happy. If that’s not my content, you don’t need to tell me, especially if that experience will cause you to have to mull through all the negative things you just experienced. Please, always take care of YOU. Go forth and find stories that help you create the mental, emotional, and physical environment you want. If you’re feeling generous, I appreciate your suggestions on tags that would have helped you avoid my content (with my apologies that I’m crap at tagging and my promise to keep making sincere efforts to tag better), but you honestly don’t need to tell me more than that, especially if it’s not constructive (and I find most people, either from lack of experience or exposure, don’t truly understand what constructive means). I don’t need to know that my characterization makes you hate characters you love, that you find me hyperbolic, that you find my writing annoying, that this is trash, that… well, you get it, and on we go, because, honestly, chances are someone has already said the same in less polite terms (and they have). I don’t think people realize the stuff I’ve received from this fandom. I have been held to account for putting in the wrong dog treats (no, seriously). I’d like to see others get the same in their comment sections and/or inbox (and what’s sad is I’m sure others have quite similar stories). So, out of general tiredness with this fandom, I’m putting out there that there’s no need for any of that: Just tell me how I can help you avoid content. I’m not trying to win you over. Personally, when I have been treated badly, I’ve just promoted distance. But if you want to help then tell me: Tags. Warnings. I’ve certainly made those adjustments when asked because I want people to live happy lives and enjoy their fandom experiences and have information to consume content responsibly, because, yes, it goes both ways. But please don’t come at me with expectations or requests to write differently because you “enjoy X without Y.” Again, as bad as this might sound, I don’t sit here and write for you because I don’t get paid to do this. I promise, if you feel so strongly about my content (which some do,) ya’ll can wait patiently – all stories will get taken down eventually. It’s just a matter of when I get tired of fandom. I promise. But, the main point is that I’m always happy to add tags and provide warnings. If you tell me what you’d like, that makes it even easier. And, of course, if you’re seeing that you don’t like something about how I write, my work, etc., don’t feel obliged to keep reading me. There’s no obligation. I know when we like one story and then get disappointed by another, we want to keep supporting a writer because, well, we feel some connection – like, time invested. I’m here to tell you that you never have any obligation. We could’ve chatted and been friends and if you come and say ‘I’m sorry, I can’t read your stuff anymore,’ it will be okay and we will still be buds, but do best by you. I won’t be hurt by your absence (not to mention you don’t miss what you don’t know). I will honestly be happy that you’re consuming the content that makes your life happy and better, because that’s what I want for all of you: Enjoyable, happy, fulfilled lives that include love, affection, care, respect, and wonderful experiences. 

And, I don’t think I should have to mention it, but I feel like I constantly have to… Look, loves, just because something is loosely based off real life (or based on it a lot, hey there moose!) does not mean it should be used as a road map for real living. Cheers loves.

Today is my Birthday- I spent it Vomiting during a Final Exam
  • No. I wasn't nervous. I have severe menstrual cramps and my birthday gift from nature was the onset of my period.
  • Men and women, open your ears. Periods are gross. I'm not going to sit here and make pretend they are beautiful; they are an abomination excreted from the genital area.
  • But the pain I experience from them has taught me one thing: I can be a badass.
  • You see the entire 100 question test I felt like Wolverine was turning his bladed fists in my stomach, repeatedly. By question 50 I was having cold chills. Question 75 brought on room spinning dizzy spells. Question 99 led to me starting to gag.
  • Question 99 was bubbled in and I dropped my pencil and ran out of the room to the nearest bathroom and did the aforementioned act of oral expulsion.
  • I finished that. Took my shirt off and stood in front of a window for a bout 5 minutes trying to cool down from a fever like sweat.
  • I then put my dressings back on, winked in the mirror, and went back into class bubbled in question 100 and turned in the test.
  • Periods are gross. This story on many levels is gross. I get that menstruation is important to my physiological nature, but I'm still always going to hate having it. I get you didn't need to hear the occurrences of my birthday, May 12th, 2016.
  • But my period has shown me today, that through the most literal gut wrenching pain, I can still get shit done.
  • And so can you. Even if you don't bleed once a month.