i'm so disappointed with this but whatever

I know I still have a few fics to write, but I am afraid I will have to postpone writing them. 

I am just so stressed-out now that I know I won’t be able to produce anything decent, I’m sorry! But I will write them eventually.

Hnnng all these posts about ship wars in the bts tags are annoying and ppl are getting so fucking salty over trivial shit that ain’t even real and I wanna bang my head out

Wtf is with this dumb jikook vs taekook raging and why do ppl feel the need to attack others for shipping what they do like none of these fucking ships are real take a chill pill and go for a walk outside or something I swear to fucking god.

The salt levels in the bts fandom have seriously risen and I am so sick of this like I am too old to deal with shit.

At this rate I’m gonna give up going into the taekook tag and ignore the fandom wank

I miss spn fandom sometimes cuz at least ship wars didn’t reach my dash as often as the bts fandom ship wars seem to be manifesting :|

I’m so sad because 2 of my ear piercings are officially gone/healed and one is almost closed. I’ve only got one left and it’s probably going to disappear…
All that because of disphoria. I love earrings so much but it’s been the one thing making the difference between passing and not passing in the last year. Sometimes I’d just put them on in the middle of the day and suddenly get ma'amed all the time.
I wish I could have the confidence to believe it’s a coincidence or to not care.
But I do.
Same goes for crazy hair dyes and some funny/colorful pieces of clothing…
All these make me feel “girly” even though I love them so badly (they obviously aren’t but yeah. That’s dysphoria for yall)

I very strongly wish that Tumblr would stop throwing suggested posts onto my dashboard that do nothing but spew bile all over ace and aro people. These are not things I need to see. They do not improve my life. 

Unfortunately, whatever bot picks the posts seems to have decided that these little sound bites of heartbreaking malice are representative of the asexuality tag right now. It goes to show we’re still a long ways from having effective automatic content curation, or a Tumblr community that isn’t out for someone’s blood.   

anonymous asked:

i wouldn't be surprised if the group is undercover at some wedding/funeral/whatever. Protection or some other sort of espionage.

I was hoping for that too until I saw Eggsy’s mum floating around in one of the pictures (actress Samantha Womack posed with a fan). 

UNLESS she was in on it as well! just to add to the authenticity of their cover. 

ENFP trying to get an INFP out of their shell (KPOP edition)

ENFP: *trying to convince INFP to go out* what…

INFP: ???

ENFP: shoot, I forgot their name… whatever. what would that korean boy band say?

INFP: you mean BTS? I don’t think they would care–

ENFP: I know they would tell you to go out and be adventurous!

INFP: you literally just forgot their name but now you know what they’re thinking

ENFP:

INFP:

ENFP: yes

its just really so frustrating that my mom thinks she knows everything about my field just by googling a psychologist’s salary which in no way reflects what i want to do anyway?? like yeah i want to counsel but i also want to teach and so research maybe??? like i just… she just doesn’t understand… like she literally knows nothing and it’s so annoying because she won’t even listen to anything i’m saying so whatever i guess i just have to accept that i’m always going to be a disappointment to my mom lmao


i feel like i’m not good enough as a friend and i don’t know why

i feel like i disappoint them a lot and that i just annoy them even when they see me online or post or whatever

it’s nothing on them i’m just

idk man

i feel yuck and living is kind of really hard for me right now but oh well

Day 35: Cry / Burn

Currently Procrastinating

Characters: original. Yeah, I wrote some really weird poetry…

 

Impossibly, impossibly –
Here I stand, again alone.
I haven’t done what I was
Meant to do –
To myself, or
For myself, and I
Hardly know the difference
Anymore.

So I cry to the wolf,
And I abandon leaving.
I can’t be the same
As I was, or
Will be, and
I will burn myself free
Or die
Trying.

So, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised but I am.  I thought that a science place of work would be better at being pc or whatever, but one of my mentors said b**** when describing radio equipment and now I’m just disappointed.

Sometimes I feel so confused. Things depress me, but I never know why. People aggravate me, but I don’t know why. Life disappoints me, but I don’t know why. Transience is the nature of existence, and death is the cessation of the journey, but does that really mean that man makes his own path? Does he have a right? We in this era taking part in the sacraments of the unsure and the uncaring as our sole source of higher enlightenment, do we have it right? Or is our presumption the worst form of hubris, and do we invite divine condemnation from the pantheistic soul of existence itself merely by wanting to let go? Our brains are just chemical reactions and electrical pulses firing and reacting complex patterns, and every experience we have is tainted by the particulars these processes. Why does this tangled web of neurons and grey matter dictate my visceral experience? Change to this seems impossible, and that thought itself is so monumentally exhausting as to be the final postscript in my obituary. Anyway, I guess I’ll keep plugging along, if only out of habit.

anonymous asked:

You need to do whatever makes you happy and stable. So what if people are upset that you didn't want to go to the ceremony? Or a party? If you're happy with what you're doing, keep doing it.

Yeah, I agree with you there, but still. Even though I’ve a sort of(?) valid reason for not going, not many people will respect or understand my decision. And when they feel angry of disappointed with me because of it, it just makes me feel like shit even more so… idk.