*summons a giant horrifying uncontrollable demon god*
we can control this thing, right? Right? Yeah we're fine. Haha wow there's a lot of screaming from where we're building the cage out of weak metal but I'm sure it's fine. Haha we're good. Seriously I'm not worried at all *drinks heavily*
look if we just hold back and let it run around a bit it will totally be our friend, but like not completely I'm not stupid. *puts on running shoes just in case*
FUCKING PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM SO HELP ME
hey here's an idea, why don't we just
worship the demon and lie at its feet and hope for mercy
that always works with dread gods right?
When I was a kid during long car trips I always would look out the window and imagine a character of my choice running along the side. The character could jump over things in the way, run on fences and road side rails, and jump onto the roof of cars and run along it. I liked matching the gait of the character’s running to whatever music was playing on the radio during the ride.
Honey no offense but. Seriously? Is bts all you think about? I'm sure that's not the case right?
Honey, full offense, do you understand that when you start out a message that way it sounds really fucking rude? And condescending?
HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH FIC IDEAS. AM I JUST SUPPOSED TO PULL THEM OUT OF MY ASS?
That’s not how writing works boo boo.
Sue me for day dreaming while I’m baking biscuits at my job at 5:30 in the morning. I’m sure as hell not going to day dream about all the errands I have to run after work. I’m definitely not going to think about my ex moving back to Portland.
I work a full time job and have a life outside of my BTS blog.
I'm just gonna need a run-down of your "Mace Unfucks the Timeline" AU. Please.
Just, like, a basic summary, you mean? Well, somewhere on this our beloved hellsite I once read a post that went something like “but seriously time-travel AUs, why not MACE WINDU” and then I could not find a fic like that and so in the end it turned out that I would not be able to rest until I had in SOME WAY contributed to the existence of such a time travel AU. Because seriously, my god, what a PERFECT concept.
The overall idea is that Mace Windu got his hand chopped off and got electrocuted out a window, and somewhere before the fall or the Force lightning or the glass shards killed him he had a very chaotic death-vision of Order 66, as well as the clusterfuck of Mustafar and Yoda vs. Palpatine. Then he died.
Then he woke up.
Specifically, he woke up about fifteen years ago/five minutes before the Council meeting where Qui-Gon walks in all “so anyway the Chosen One followed me home, can I keep him?” Mace in his initial knee-jerk panic/disbelief was like “DIBS ON THE PADAWAN” and then proceeded to re-spend the next fifteen years trying to raise a Sith-killer instead of a Sith Lord, seriously alarming the rest of the Council, and accidentally realizing how fucked up both the Order and the Republic were in the process. Space ice cream and increasingly unbelievable claims of “I had a vision” as coping methods are involved. Also Depa Billaba is literally the only person he bothers explaining himself to and Qui-Gon “Gray As Fuck” Jinn wants to be best friends 5ever. Or maybe get married. Or maybe both??
Anyway there’s kind of a ton of it now, but all of my related blathering/meta/drabble-ish stuff is under the tag “mace windu unfucks the timeline”. Most of it is crack, some of it is, well, not so crack?
Protip: If I am running a dungeon with you in ESO, and since you automatically join the voice channel in group, it may be a good idea to NOT TRASH TALK YOUR DPS. I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU, DICKHEAD.
Jesus tap dancing Christ.
And then you send me a butthurt note later that demands to know why I bailed after the third fucking time we lost against that boss. DPS may not be an absolute necessity, I get that. But seriously? Fuck off with your bullshit, because I’m still figuring out how dungeons work in ESO. I know at least one other person bailed on you morons - probably because you can’t have the decency to be polite, or be a group that offered any kind of strategy. I tried to help focus on one enemy. As soon as I did, you ran off to another and then complained that I died.
Consider this: Dazai leaves the mafia later than in canon and Chuuya leaves the mafia too soon after, and storms to the agency, angry to him for having not taken him with him (idk if that's English)
And then there he accidentally meets Kunikida who’s actually a nice decent man and they immediately feel a special connection.
“I beat Dazai 3 times yesterday because he was being an ass,” says Kunikida.
“Doki,” Chuuya replies. Never mind that “doki” is a shoujo manga sound effect and this is a verbal conversation. What’s important is that he and Kunikida are about to walk hand in hand into the sunset.
In a far corner of the room, Tanizaki peacefully chokes on his tea. Atsushi starts crying a little. Against all better judgement, Kenji starts eating his fifth bento as he waits for the grand moment to unfold.
Ranpo continues to snore because seriously, who gives a shit.
Dazai clears his throat. “So,” His voice cracks slightly. “Why is this suddenly NTR?”
“I don’t know.” came a voice from above, probably from the narrator because who cares where this is going anymore. “You left Chuuya, but nobody ever asked.”
Seriously, jinko, your timing is terrible. But you’re adorable so it’s okay.
“Anyway, I’m lazy, so this ends here. Anyone who wants to get married, go ahead. Just stop having god damn angst in this fandom, everybody’s running out of tears.” The narrator yawned, before joining Ranpo in his nap.
BTS' reaction to you shipping Vkook and maybe Got7's reaction to you shipping Markson? ( I'm kinda running out of ideas 😂😂*sigh* )
>:D I like this. I like this a lot. xD Thank you for your request!!!! I hope you like it <3 ~Em
Jin: “So do I…but shhh, it’s our secret”
Rap Monster: *finds it hilarious* “JUNGKOOK, V!!! GUESS WHAT *y/n* SHIPS?!?”
Suga: (ignore V rofl) “What? Seriously?? THAT’S THE FUNNIES THING EVER!!” *laughs for the rest of eternity*
J-hope: “You ship VKook, but not VHope?”
V: “Wait….you what…?*
Jungkook: “Hyung…just accept it. They’ve found us out.” ((the gif that wrote a thousand fanfictions))
JIMIN: “NO HE’S MINE!!!!!”
***NOTE: If you do not ship VKook please do not hate on this post. We are all entitled to our own opinions, so please be respectful. I myself can’t decide who to ship because they’re all so cute together xD ~Em
Imagine playing ‘Will you push the button?’ with the Avengers, which of course was suggested by Tony. He whips his phone out, before stating the game must be played.
“Ok, number one! You gain the power of the force and receive a lightsaber, but you’re a part of the Sith regime! Will you push the button?”
“I don’t see the down side!” You yell, before Natasha jumps onto the sofa and mimics a Jedi. “What is she doing?” Pietro mumbles under his voice to Bruce, whom shrugs and smiles in return. "Sith scum!“ Romanoff hisses, before she jumps from sofa to sofa to get to you. “A what?” Wanda whispers into Bruce’s other ear.
The two of you battle with non-existent lightsabers as the others laugh and join in.
Stark coughs, tapping his throat as he begins to read the next question. “You try a drink, and it is the best thing you have ever tasted. But it is made from the urine of a rare animal.”
You spit out your drink, literally spraying soda on Pietro. Of course Wanda can barely breath, clinging onto you for support as she marvels the moment.
”UNIIICCCOOOOORRRNNNN PPPIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS!“ Rhodey screams suddenly out of the blue, making the Asgardian god next to him jump.
Ok, so maybe Rhodey shouldn’t be allowed to play this game.
“See,” Tony mumbles. “This is why we can’t do nice things.”
“Okay okay, so, you can fly whenever and wherever you want, but when you land, you feel like you are stepping on tons of LEGOS.”
Watching Sam squirm and seeing the uncomfortableness in those who can fly sent Steve into a fit of evil laughter.
“Finally-” He choked, heaving with laughter, “revenge!”
“Is everyone evil when they play games?” Wanda squeaks, and you raise your eyebrow and arch your mouth.
“Yep, pretty much. Last time we played Monopoly, and you knew you lost when Natasha gave you a death threat. Fixed, even if you had more money than her.” You glance at the Twins, “save yourselves.”