It’s love. We first met when we were 15. It took another 15 years for us to sort it out. She’s an incredible woman, very special. So the fact that she said yes was a huge deal. I was in a boys’ school and she was in a girls’ school. They were doing a charity fashion show. They brought some guys over. I will never forget I was this pasty boy with freckles. I had to walk topless in the show for this school of girls. As I walked off the stage, the entire school erupted [in applause because] the best-looking guy in the school walked on. It was a very scarring moment. But afterward at the party, I saw Hannah across the room. She was very beautiful, kind and very funny. [I learned that] we had similar interests, that she loved the arts, theater…all the things that were important to me. When Hannah and I finally got together years later, I had finished rehearsing ‘Les Miserables’ and was about to start shooting it. I had four days off, I was going to Florence by myself—slightly sad. Hannah and I went on a date just before I was to leave. We had known each other for a long time, but not closely. I was like. ‘We had a wonderful evening. You wouldn’t want to go to Florence next week, would you?’ She was like. ‘That’s absurd.’ I was like, ‘No, no, no.’ She said, ‘You don’t mean that.’ I was like, ‘I do.’ The next morning, I sent my easyJet booking form to her. She let me stew for a few hours, and then she sent back her easyJet booking form. So our first proper date was in Florence, and that felt quite crazy.
Half of me: excited for young!Lams!fans! drawing a deeper understanding of historical figures and bringing out concepts in queer history that public school won’t teach, sharing funny stories, anecdotes, and headcanons, and driving the movement for normalization of queer history. ecstatic that the Hamilton musical has brought tons of new, diverse people to this interest (brought me back into it), and openly supported a mainstream interpretation of Hamilton and Laurens’s relationship as romantic!!!
Other half: terrified that the nature of fandom will oversimplify concepts of sexual inclinations in repressed cultures, replace the possibility of Hamilton having a mood disorder with his sluttiness, excuse his moral misdeeds by attributing them with disorders, decontextualize the influence of Henry Laurens’s parenting by equating it to modern homophobia, erase- or totally overlook- the impact of Hamilton’s mother’s hyper-sexualization throughout his childhood, totally excuse both men’s disregard of women’s rights and empowerment, overlook the underlying selfish causes behind both men’s disgust with slavery, further overlook Hamilton’s selfish inaction against slavery after Laurens’s death, oversimplify the parallel between Hamilton’s immigrant story and the struggles of a modern immigrant, joke about ‘southern inbreeding’ and other disgusting realities of the historic south while the Laurens family had real- very serious- sex scandals, reduce a character’s life-long suicidal thoughts and actions to a trope of ‘fights everyone’, reduce a character’s life-long insecurities about status and personal safety stemming from childhood abandonment to a ‘scared of bumps in the night’ trope, lose touch with the historical significance of the musical by totally divorcing the characters of historical context…
I AM LIVIIIIIIIIIING!! THIS IS IT, THIS IS WHAT I’M HERE FOR: NAMJOON BEING AN AWESOME RAPPER/SINGER-SONGWRITER/PRODUCER, COLLABING WITH BIG NAMES, AND GETTING THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES FOR HIS SKILLS. I’M HERE FOR NAMJOON. I AM REVIVED.