i'm really conscious about the looks of this but i'm just gonna post it

anonymous asked:

I'm not sure if this all really makes sense, but I'm trying really hard to participate in nanowrimo this year, because I've been trying to write this story for forever. The problem is is that I always feel like everything I write is stupid and terrible. I've been made fun of my entire life for my little stories I come up with, and so I'm too self conscious to ever ask anyone for their opinion of my writing. I feel like the few I DO ask are just pandering to me. Do you have any advice?

First, it sounds like you need a hug. 

*hug*

Second, I can’t speak to your abilities personally, obviously, because I don’t know who you are, but I can guarantee you that every single writer in the world (or at least a significant number, both published and aspiring) has that voice of doubt in their head at least some of the time. I know I do. Writing is weird. It is simultaneously very personal and very public. It’s a weird mix of ego and terror (”Use your time to read my thing! Omg, maybe the thing is horrible!” Sound familiar?). Of course, it’s hard to put yourself out there. It sounds like you’ve had a particularly rough go, with people making fun of you and disparaging what you do.

Look, those people are jerks. I’m sorry to say it, but there are a lot of jerks out there. Who knows why they’re picking on you, but they are. Maybe they’re jealous because they can’t think up stories on their own. Maybe they’re sad and lashing out because they want other people to feel as sad as they do. Maybe they’re just the kind of jerks who pull wings off flies for fun. The thing is, those jerks? Their stuff is not about you, not really. People who pick on other people are doing it because of their own issues.

Unfortunately, there’s a bit of that in the way our own brains pick on us, too. When you feel like everything you write is stupid and terrible, I suspect there’s other stuff happening under the surface. 

For me, that voice comes out of things like: am I just being a showoff? Why do I think I’m so smart/clever/talented/funny? Look at how other people have already succeeded and I’m just a big lump who can’t put my money where my mouth is. Who do I think I am anyway? Everything is trite or overdone or melodramatic or recycled and why do I even bother?? Ugh, I’m so arrogant and demanding and and and and…

Most of that’s not really about writing. Not really. It’s about growing up an overachiever who got a lot of praise, but, as an adult, isn’t sure that praise was warranted or is afraid that praise was wasted and isn’t going to amount to anything. Weird psychological crap. Brains, man. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

Look, you wrote some nice clean sentences up there. In the short span of a tumblr ask, you told me a little story. You did! And it made me feel feelings and want to engage with you. And that’s what writing is. Telling stories that engage you (first and foremost) and others. What I’m saying is that I am almost certain, based on one little tumblr ask, that your writing is most definitely not “stupid and terrible.”

(This got real long, whoops!)

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anonymous asked:

im a teen lesbian and im having a really. really. hard time caring about lbpq solidarity rn. like, i love the idea and everything but i'm so exhausted. i'm seeing bi adults on here call themselves gay/lesbians + when i reach out to them and let them know that they're making my life harder to live they dismiss everything i'm saying + go on to talk about lesbophobia like its their place (which doesn't mean bi/lesbian women dont have overlapping experiences but its called lesbophobia 4 a reason).

i’m just really angry and hurt and i wish people didn’t used homophobia to bolster their arguments against biphobia (not that it actually works because all sga ppl are harmed by homophobia, but the “legitimacy” of the argument is because it appeals to larger social ideas about lg ppl and in general str8 ppl gobble this shit down bc they want us exterminated tbh).

idk if you sent this because you want advice or just wanted to vent or what but i’m going to assume you don’t mind getting the former otherwise you wouldnt’ve sent it.

first of all you have every right to be angry and hurt. you’re not a bad person for not tolerating homophobia, regardless of who it’s coming from. that said, your view of bi and pan women is clearly becoming skewed in a way that’s harmful both to them and you. which, tbh imo, is absolutely unavoidable if you spend a good amount of your freetime involved in or watching The Discourse. not because bi/pan women are a well of neverending evil, but because you’re literally searching (or watching people search) for homophobic bi/pan women, purposely, to fight or ridicule or whatever. you’re basically conditioning yourself to hate us. (of course you may not be involved in lbpq tumblr at all and it’s just spreading in which case ignore those last few lines)

the point is, your perception is messed up and not at all aligned with the reality of bi/pan women, so you have three choices:

  • you can do what most people would do and try to justify it to yourself, which is a terrible decision and will only make you more frustrated at The State Of Things while also having the fun side effect of hurting bi/pan women
  • you can do absolutely nothing and either end up hating bi/pan women anyways or having a change of heart or just staying frustratingly middled forever depending on where life takes you. i call this “the mystery ball”.
  • or, and this is my fave one personally, you can make a conscious effort to try and fix it. 

choice #3 is a lot harder than the 1 and 2, but a lot more rewarding and will lead you to the Solidarity u seek. or at least it will in your personal life. take huge step back from the discourse or however you’re finding all this infighting, or at least start examining it and your + the people around you’s reactions to it. would what’s being said be acceptable to you if it was a bi/pan woman talking about lesbians? would you feel comfortable with the idea that a bi/pan woman thinking the same thing about lesbians that you or your friends/mutuals/whatever do about bi/pan women? do you consider bi/pan women’s issues and opinions on homophobia as important as lesbians? are you having interactions with bi/pan women outside of fighting with them? basically, look for double standards. i guarantee you will find them.

on the other hand, remember that the block feature is your friend and is always available to use consistently but wisely. block people who use the word monosexual, or downplay lesbophobia, or have said one too many iffy things, or are speaking on things they have no right to speak about, or have lesbophobic friends, or have made you feel bad for being a lesbian. learn your boundaries and enforce them, but always make sure you have a clear reason for it before you do it. it’s a good way to make sure you’re not heading down to the “bi/pan women talking make me uncomfortable” path.

this got way longer than i wanted and you’re probably not gonna read it all, but w/e. good luck buddy, i’m rooting for ya.

anonymous asked:

so I have a ton of stretch marks on my boobs and also my chest is really veiny (???) and I'm super insecure about them, and I know your friend said that he doesn't care but I'm still self conscious and idk how am I gonna go anywhere with my boyfriend because I hate what my chest looks like. do you have any tips on not being as insecure??

i really don’t darling, i wish i did :(( BUUUT i have a story that might make you feel a lil better? okay so in my freshman year of high school, i used to be really, really insecure about the stretch marks at the tops of my thighs and the ones across my tummy and we had to do the age old “change for swimming” thing where you have to be completely nude at some point in getting on your swimsuit. so i was like, near the point of tears and my face was all red and splotchy because i really really really did not want anyone to see my stretch marks. so this one older girl (whom i still don’t really know to well but has always been nice to me) was like, “hey, what’s wrong?” and basically i just started crying bc i was really overwhelmed and embarrassed. after i calmed down enough to talk, there was about fifteen girls around me just like… petting my hair and rubbing my skin comfortingly (looking back now it’s a little strange but just roll with me here).

so anyways, when i finally told them why i was crying, the girl who originally asked me what was wrong literally stood up, shucked her swimsuit off her body, stood but naked in front of me + x amount of girls, and pointed to each insecurity of hers on her body (there was a scar on her elbow from when she was younger, a dark birthmark on her neck that people always mistook for a hickey, all of the acne on her back, the redness/soreness of her pubic hair) and then turned to the next girl. at this point, the warning bell had already rung so i was lowkey freaking out that i was gonna get marked tardy for gym, but i stayed and listen to literally EACH! OF! THE! GIRLS! point out what they thought was wrong on their bodies. and i remember, so so clearly that when they’d all gone through, the girl who originally started the whole thing asked me, “did you notice any of those things about anyone here before they talked about them?”

and i remember i was speechless because no… i didn’t. i did not realize a single thing that any of the girls pointed out. and when i told her that, the girl simply said, “see? no else realizes and stresses over your flaws except you.” and just like that, they all filed out of the locker room to go to their respective gym classes.

i’ve never really understood why that particular experience happened to me (because it was such a beautiful lesson that E V E R Y O N E on literally the entire earth should’ve listened to), but i think i know that it happened to me so i could share it with you.

knowing and being consciously aware of the fact that everyone has insecurities is what made me slowly become more confident. i promise you, beeb, your boyfriend will not think you’re “gross” or “disgusting” for having stretch marks bc tbh… i’ve never met someone who doesn’t have stretch marks. learning to love yourself is a long journey, but i swear to god it’s worth it.

chin up, you’ll get there soon enough. i believe in you!!!!!!

against my better judgement, i’m going to make another post about cool animation on peridot’s fingers.

i know we all felt the weight of that scene when she first steps out into the rain, but peridot’s whole pre-existing “thing” with hands makes it even more potent.

imma start here:

peri’s just having fun checking out what she looks like here; probably not something she had reason to do often, but of course nothing too unfamiliar for her…until she focuses on her hand. look at how uncomfortable she looks when she first notices it, almost like it startles her. after that her expression just shifts to something like confusion, sort of a “what is THIS doing here? what is it good for???” look.

either way, not something she likes.

it’s safe to say she’s had the limb enhancers for the vast majority [if not, the entirety] of her conscious life. sure she was aware of her normal hands under them, but she never had a need to physically use them; it’s different seeing one bare like that. it’s what she actually is, and it’s all she’s got now. and it’s not much.

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here, there’s obviously a lot more behind the uncertainty and contemplation as she looks down at her hand; again, this is all she’s got now. can she trust steven with it? there’s already a >really awesome post< about all the trust and emotion conveyed in this bit, so i’ve no need to talk about that. this post is about the meaning of the animation anyway.
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i know this is something we’re SUPPOSED to notice, and this entire set of motions is clearly very painstakingly deliberate but i’m gonna emphasize them anyway.

look how delicate that movement is. peridot is not a delicate gem.

cautious, sure, but everywhere else, she’s been characterized by exaggerated expressions and movements.

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this, though…this is strikingly minute and personal. this is probably nearly the first time she’s had a tactile sense on her actual hands, and absolutely the first time using them to interact with something so alien. of course it’s going to cause her to pull back a bit at first, but she just takes the moment to feel it and try to understand it before accepting it and taking a step forward.

i feel this is something of a metaphor; the unfamiliarity of sense on her hands as one for learning to be comfortable with herself, and the rain itself for how alien it is for her to have faith in someone.

oh man, and don’t even get me started on the music drop here, and slightly afterwars when she’s talking to steven. aivi and surrashu killin’ it as always.

Live a little (Why don't you?)

Summary: As the son of the British Ambassador, Zayn’s life is very dull. Uneventful routines and boring political gatherings are all he knows. That is, until he meets Niall.

Pairing: Ziall

W/C:6,000+

A/N: This is dedicated to niallhoranisasecretfurby for encouraging me to write this. This is my first Ziall fic (gulp).

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anonymous asked:

I'm a little nervous asking but do you know of any gender-help blogs? Like. I'm... about 90% sure of my gender but then other times I'm like "???" but then I also see all those posts like "[gender-orientation that isn't cis or bi-spectrum] is just a cry for attention!" and it's really confusing and unsettling and I don't know who to ask. I was going to make a post on my blog asking questions but then I got scared of backlash and was hoping you might know a safe bubble?

I don’t know where you’ve been hearing ‘gender-orientation that isn’t cis or bi-spectrum is just a cry for attention’ because that’s complete nonsense; the bi-spectrum isn’t a gender identity spectrum, and identifying as something for *attention* isn’t a bad or wrong thing.

Me, for instance, I could have lived my entire life identifying as a cis woman and lost nothing. I made that conscious choice to identify as agender and get hormones because I could. For some people, that’s a ‘cry for attention’. Whatever. Doesn’t make my identity any less legitimate, because … surprise, that’s how identities work.

I’m gonna be honest; the tumblr trans community is horrible. Every self-help blog I’ve ever followed has turned out to be either truscum, bi/pan/acephobic, run by TERFS, or just a mess of negativity and angst that is definitely not what some people need to see. If you want some online community, look for personal blogs of happy trans people; I recommend brinconvenient, hobbitkaiju, thaxed, and jeffreymarsh.

- Fae