i'm really conscious about the looks of this but i'm just gonna post it

anonymous asked:

so I have a ton of stretch marks on my boobs and also my chest is really veiny (???) and I'm super insecure about them, and I know your friend said that he doesn't care but I'm still self conscious and idk how am I gonna go anywhere with my boyfriend because I hate what my chest looks like. do you have any tips on not being as insecure??

i really don’t darling, i wish i did :(( BUUUT i have a story that might make you feel a lil better? okay so in my freshman year of high school, i used to be really, really insecure about the stretch marks at the tops of my thighs and the ones across my tummy and we had to do the age old “change for swimming” thing where you have to be completely nude at some point in getting on your swimsuit. so i was like, near the point of tears and my face was all red and splotchy because i really really really did not want anyone to see my stretch marks. so this one older girl (whom i still don’t really know to well but has always been nice to me) was like, “hey, what’s wrong?” and basically i just started crying bc i was really overwhelmed and embarrassed. after i calmed down enough to talk, there was about fifteen girls around me just like… petting my hair and rubbing my skin comfortingly (looking back now it’s a little strange but just roll with me here).

so anyways, when i finally told them why i was crying, the girl who originally asked me what was wrong literally stood up, shucked her swimsuit off her body, stood but naked in front of me + x amount of girls, and pointed to each insecurity of hers on her body (there was a scar on her elbow from when she was younger, a dark birthmark on her neck that people always mistook for a hickey, all of the acne on her back, the redness/soreness of her pubic hair) and then turned to the next girl. at this point, the warning bell had already rung so i was lowkey freaking out that i was gonna get marked tardy for gym, but i stayed and listen to literally EACH! OF! THE! GIRLS! point out what they thought was wrong on their bodies. and i remember, so so clearly that when they’d all gone through, the girl who originally started the whole thing asked me, “did you notice any of those things about anyone here before they talked about them?”

and i remember i was speechless because no… i didn’t. i did not realize a single thing that any of the girls pointed out. and when i told her that, the girl simply said, “see? no else realizes and stresses over your flaws except you.” and just like that, they all filed out of the locker room to go to their respective gym classes.

i’ve never really understood why that particular experience happened to me (because it was such a beautiful lesson that E V E R Y O N E on literally the entire earth should’ve listened to), but i think i know that it happened to me so i could share it with you.

knowing and being consciously aware of the fact that everyone has insecurities is what made me slowly become more confident. i promise you, beeb, your boyfriend will not think you’re “gross” or “disgusting” for having stretch marks bc tbh… i’ve never met someone who doesn’t have stretch marks. learning to love yourself is a long journey, but i swear to god it’s worth it.

chin up, you’ll get there soon enough. i believe in you!!!!!!

Live a little (Why don't you?)

Summary: As the son of the British Ambassador, Zayn’s life is very dull. Uneventful routines and boring political gatherings are all he knows. That is, until he meets Niall.

Pairing: Ziall


A/N: This is dedicated to niallhoranisasecretfurby for encouraging me to write this. This is my first Ziall fic (gulp).

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm a little nervous asking but do you know of any gender-help blogs? Like. I'm... about 90% sure of my gender but then other times I'm like "???" but then I also see all those posts like "[gender-orientation that isn't cis or bi-spectrum] is just a cry for attention!" and it's really confusing and unsettling and I don't know who to ask. I was going to make a post on my blog asking questions but then I got scared of backlash and was hoping you might know a safe bubble?

I don’t know where you’ve been hearing ‘gender-orientation that isn’t cis or bi-spectrum is just a cry for attention’ because that’s complete nonsense; the bi-spectrum isn’t a gender identity spectrum, and identifying as something for *attention* isn’t a bad or wrong thing.

Me, for instance, I could have lived my entire life identifying as a cis woman and lost nothing. I made that conscious choice to identify as agender and get hormones because I could. For some people, that’s a ‘cry for attention’. Whatever. Doesn’t make my identity any less legitimate, because … surprise, that’s how identities work.

I’m gonna be honest; the tumblr trans community is horrible. Every self-help blog I’ve ever followed has turned out to be either truscum, bi/pan/acephobic, run by TERFS, or just a mess of negativity and angst that is definitely not what some people need to see. If you want some online community, look for personal blogs of happy trans people; I recommend brinconvenient, hobbitkaiju, thaxed, and jeffreymarsh.

- Fae

anonymous asked:

im a teen lesbian and im having a really. really. hard time caring about lbpq solidarity rn. like, i love the idea and everything but i'm so exhausted. i'm seeing bi adults on here call themselves gay/lesbians + when i reach out to them and let them know that they're making my life harder to live they dismiss everything i'm saying + go on to talk about lesbophobia like its their place (which doesn't mean bi/lesbian women dont have overlapping experiences but its called lesbophobia 4 a reason).

i’m just really angry and hurt and i wish people didn’t used homophobia to bolster their arguments against biphobia (not that it actually works because all sga ppl are harmed by homophobia, but the “legitimacy” of the argument is because it appeals to larger social ideas about lg ppl and in general str8 ppl gobble this shit down bc they want us exterminated tbh).

idk if you sent this because you want advice or just wanted to vent or what but i’m going to assume you don’t mind getting the former otherwise you wouldnt’ve sent it.

first of all you have every right to be angry and hurt. you’re not a bad person for not tolerating homophobia, regardless of who it’s coming from. that said, your view of bi and pan women is clearly becoming skewed in a way that’s harmful both to them and you. which, tbh imo, is absolutely unavoidable if you spend a good amount of your freetime involved in or watching The Discourse. not because bi/pan women are a well of neverending evil, but because you’re literally searching (or watching people search) for homophobic bi/pan women, purposely, to fight or ridicule or whatever. you’re basically conditioning yourself to hate us. (of course you may not be involved in lbpq tumblr at all and it’s just spreading in which case ignore those last few lines)

the point is, your perception is messed up and not at all aligned with the reality of bi/pan women, so you have three choices:

  • you can do what most people would do and try to justify it to yourself, which is a terrible decision and will only make you more frustrated at The State Of Things while also having the fun side effect of hurting bi/pan women
  • you can do absolutely nothing and either end up hating bi/pan women anyways or having a change of heart or just staying frustratingly middled forever depending on where life takes you. i call this “the mystery ball”.
  • or, and this is my fave one personally, you can make a conscious effort to try and fix it. 

choice #3 is a lot harder than the 1 and 2, but a lot more rewarding and will lead you to the Solidarity u seek. or at least it will in your personal life. take huge step back from the discourse or however you’re finding all this infighting, or at least start examining it and your + the people around you’s reactions to it. would what’s being said be acceptable to you if it was a bi/pan woman talking about lesbians? would you feel comfortable with the idea that a bi/pan woman thinking the same thing about lesbians that you or your friends/mutuals/whatever do about bi/pan women? do you consider bi/pan women’s issues and opinions on homophobia as important as lesbians? are you having interactions with bi/pan women outside of fighting with them? basically, look for double standards. i guarantee you will find them.

on the other hand, remember that the block feature is your friend and is always available to use consistently but wisely. block people who use the word monosexual, or downplay lesbophobia, or have said one too many iffy things, or are speaking on things they have no right to speak about, or have lesbophobic friends, or have made you feel bad for being a lesbian. learn your boundaries and enforce them, but always make sure you have a clear reason for it before you do it. it’s a good way to make sure you’re not heading down to the “bi/pan women talking make me uncomfortable” path.

this got way longer than i wanted and you’re probably not gonna read it all, but w/e. good luck buddy, i’m rooting for ya.