i'm rambling

Just a reminder that Amy, who is very particular and specific in her will (which Kieren is also executor of following her second death), changed her epitaph from:

Do not go gentle
Into that good night.
Rage, rage against
The dying of the light.


I hold it true, whate’er befall; I feel it when I sorrow most
'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

She was so, so angry at her death the first time, but second time round, she’s just so sad. She doesn’t want to leave these beautiful people who have made her existence so worth while. No doubt Amy is still angry and very much upset, but above all, she’s grateful to have had the chance to be with them.

I think the worlds are also intended to comfort her friends. Amy loved them, she wants them to remember that and know she is grateful for what little time they had together. It’s also a reminder to them to treasure the fact that they knew her; be sad, but be thankful.

Pilu! She lives in the woods and has leaves for hair~

I’m watching so much gravity falls that all I ever want to draw is poofy hair and also become Mabel. Also I think my body is melting into my bed and I will complete my transformation into Bed Mai by sunday evening I think. I will keep you all updated. 

Oh also I watched Ernest and Celestine, which is really the cutest thing ever, and I am trying to recycle all the cute and warm feelings into doodles. 

but imagine this 

the avengers sit down to watch a chick flick

and tony just rolls his eyes and goes ‘who chose this movie again?’ and complains the whole time, but he doesn’t mention the fact that he’s probably watched the movie the most out of the group

bruce just watches it without complaint, but when the character gets hurt, there is a moment where he feels like the hulk might come out because he somehow got really attached to the character 

clint just inserts jokes throughout the movie, and pretends to be the average teenage girl, making sarcastic quips like ‘oh my god I wish I had those arms!’ as a joke and natasha would roll her eyes and slap him on the arm every time he made a joke

but she would get slightly upset whenever the main character does, and clint notices, despite her stoic expression, and he’d put his arm around her, hoping that she wouldn’t slap him

and she doesn’t

thor wouldn’t understand what the purpose of this movie was, but he’d watch it, occasionally asking tony questions about how things worked.  however, tony has to stop him from smashing the TV screen during the sad part

and steve would also occasionally ask natasha a few questions, but he stays silent pretty much the entire film, and he reacts as any normal person would; he laughs at the jokes, dislikes the antagonist

and during the sad part, where the friends break up, natasha turns to him and notices that he almost has tears in his eyes and he’s about to cry, and she just smirks and keeps the knowledge to herself

and at the end when tony asks him how the movie was, he’d reply with a grin, glad that the movie turned out well

because sometimes he wished that he could live a ‘chick flick’ version of life where everything turns out well and he ends up living happily with bucky

because that’s what the world really needs, a happy ending

If someone says you look just like a character in their favorite book, role with it.

I don’t care if you hate the character and/or the series. I don’t care if you think the person you are being compared to is ugly. I don’t care.

That person went out of their way to tell you you look just how they picture someone in their heads based on someone else’s words on a page. You have been thought of. They noticed. Go with it.

Sometimes, I’m so overwhelmed at the fact Harry and Louis spent a week (a month, but really hit the high points in a single week) in March 2012 explaining with bullet point efficiency that they are in a serious, committed relationship to anyone with eyes. 

Then I’m overwhelmed at the Dallas flop and I get sad. 

But it’s ok again because MARCH 11-17 exists and nobody can take that away. 

Why I love books

I loved to read from the moment I could. My Nana was the one who got me reading in the first place and I blame her for my obsession.
I use to read every book I could get my hands on until about year 8 when school started to get busier and that was around the time that I started to get bullied and a dark, depressing part of my life began. I stopped reading all together for while even when I moved schools.
I felt pretty lost for a while and when one of my friends passed away I turned into a hermit. I didn’t talk to anyone or socialise.
Then one of my teachers recommended me a book and it took me a couple of weeks before I decided to read it and when I did I rekindled my love for reading. I can’t believe I ever stopped.
I found myself in books. I was happy when I was reading and I felt stronger. Some characters survive wars and it made me feel like I could deal with a lot more of my problems. And I did.
Books grounded me and I will always be grateful for authors and their stories.

i feel really bad when people talk bad about him but most of that is my fault. most people only know one side to the story. the side that i told of him cheating on me not of all the wonderful things he’s done or how glorious of a human being he is but of him, cheating on me, pissing me off. I can’t tell the truth because in a lot of ways that makes me look really bad. it reveals all of my sins into the light. i can’t do that, but i’m tired of everything

i keep trying to hide the fact that i’m suffering with anxiety. that i second guess everything. that i’m constantly feeling like i’m one move away from breaking and i hate breaking. breaking terrifies me and i walk on eggshells to avoid it and i just want sanity and clarity. i miss it so much and he’s the only thing that brings me sanity or clarity. with him i don’t diseased anymore. i feel normal again.

i’ve tried to date other people. 6 other people and each one tells me to get over him before i date someone else. it’s been a year and a half and i’m still not over him. i don’t know what to do. i’ve prayed for him to go away and for me to receive clarity in dealing with him and each damned answer is to listen to him. we both made mistakes, we both broke each others hearts and we’re both owning up that.