i'm questioning myself for doing this

2

trade mistakes // panic! at the disco

  • Friend: how are you?
  • What I wish I can say:
  • Well, everything is falling apart. I'm barley going to school, I spend most of my days laying in bed, laid in my own self loathing. I feel empty everyday and I'm getting tired of it. I think about ever little embarrassing thing that happened over 2-4 years ago and cringe at myself....everyday.
  • I'm fucking exhausted, and I still can't sleep at night.
  • Sometimes it feels like I'm not even here, and it's like I lost myself somewhere along this dark, muddy path.
  • I can't stop thinking about my past traumas, my hair is falling out, my mood is getting lower, my future seems to be getting more bleak.
  • I have a suicide plan already in place.
  • Because I fucking hate myself, I hate what I've become, and I hate everything about this world.
  • What I do say: I'm good, what about you?
Shipping Feylin In A Nutshell:
  • In ACOTAR: Yup, I ship it.
  • In The Beginning of ACOMAF: ...I'm questioning everything.
  • By Mid-ACOMAF: Screw Feylin. Feysand is endgame.
  • By the End of ACOMAF: IF SOMEONE DOESN'T KILL TAMLIN SOON, I'LL FIGURE OUT HOW TO ENTER THE STORY AND DO IT MYSELF.
2

turn off the lights // panic! at the disco

lesionsinmybrain  asked:

I don't usually ask astrology questions but I really wonder, why do I always catch myself having conversations in my head? Is it because I'm a virgo? I talk to myself about literally everything and sometimes it's suffocating..

its called thinking

Wuh oh, my hand slipped… Here comes the Deku Protection Squad

Can you believe I only ever motivate myself enough to draw BNHA content for the fanfiction Daymare and nothing else? Because its a thing.

Anyways this is for chapter 23 - if you haven’t read it, the question is why???

anonymous asked:

This is going to sound like a stupid question, but it seems like most of your campsites are literally just in the middle of no where, not like at a legit camping ground. Is that necessarily legal? Asking because I'm real inspired to try something like this myself

This is not a dumb question at all - and perfectly relevant to our current fight to protect our public lands.  I can legally camp in the middle of nowhere because I do so on public lands - lands owned by all American Citizens.  This is land set aside for public use - be it camping, hunting, fishing, biking, climbing, hiking, etc…  Public Lands are owned and supported by tax payers and also sometimes referred to as Federal Land (most research shows public land costs about $4 dollars per tax payer a year).  Restrictions depend on the agency that manages the area - most BLM (Bureau of Land Management) land has very few restrictions and allows for camping almost anywhere (without the need for a campground).  However, I strongly encourage Leave No Trace ethics when camping in wilderness and if you are going to camp on our public lands please go to the following link and read the 7 Leave No Trace Principles:

 https://lnt.org/learn/7-principles 

I prefer to camp in the wild - to leave the city behind and experience the outdoors as a refuge from human impact - and in order to continue to experience it as such we need to keep it looking as if we were never there.  I am a climber, a hunter, a mountaineer, a fisher, a hiker, a biker, and most importantly I was lucky enough to be born in the USA which gives me access to public wilderness as if I had the money to own a cabin in the mountains.  However, I don’t have the money to own a cabin and so when the weekend rolls around I throw a few things in the back of the Land Cruiser and head for public lands… I find a spot that is my own, that feels as if I am one of the few lucky enough to sit on this rock and watch the sun go down - and I am lucky.  

Watch the video link below:  4 minute bipartisan history of how the USA came to have so much public federal land, specifically in the west.  This video educated me on how almost all federal land has always been federal land - and is not land that was taken from the states:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rC_mnRu-4gA

It is my opinion that there is falsehood in state legislator’s desire to want public lands to be taken from the federal government and given to the state for the resident’s interests and stats seem to support this.  Federal land is held in a trust for the use of the American people -  and that’s it, that’s all, it is there for our future generations - so that I can teach my kid to ethically hunt and camp in the mountains just as my grandfather and father taught me.  Some states do a great job with land they manage for public access, but the problem is that the land is no longer explicitly a trust and if the wrong individuals become elected, or are already are elected, that land can now be sold to private entities and will no longer be accessible to the public. In FACT 156 MILLION acres of Federal Public Land has been transferred to states and of that land 70% has been sold to private entities - that is 110 MILLION acres that we don’t have shared access to use anymore.  I would rather not risk the possibility of my land being sold off so that I can not use it.  Historically this has occurred when a state’s budget isn’t balanced because it is pretty easy to sell of a chunk of land to compensate for debt. 

Please read the Field and Stream article in the Link below it is easy and incredibly informative:

http://www.fieldandstream.com/keep-public-lands-in-public-hands#page-3

Please vote to protect our public lands! 

Public lands for our use and what agency manages them can be seen in the map below: 


anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm a curious anon who wants to be not ignorant on asexuality cause i gotta be a good ally, so i was wondering if you could explain it? sometimes i get confused like, they say asexual people also have sex but i thought that would negate asexuality? also how do you know you're asexual, how do you know the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i just wanna be Educated™

hey there, sunshine!!! OK, let me explain EVERYTHING. 

hmmm.

so, asexuality is when a person does not feel sexual attraction to other people. sexual attraction is - this is kind of hard for me, as I’m ace myself, to explain it without it sounding a bit weird, maybe?! - but it’s the feeling of looking at someone and being turned on by them, I guess? the feeling of looking at them and wanting to have sex with them, and feeling aroused by the idea of having sex with them. this is something that asexual people do not feel.

this is separate from feelings of romantic attraction, which is not to do with sex and all to do with intimacy of heart - and how you express that romantic intimacy varies from person to person. for a lot of people, it involves stuff like kissing and holding hands and going on dates and flowers and stuff. pretty much, if it’s your heart going !!!!!! then it’s romantic, and if it’s your down-there lair going !!!!!!!!, then that’s sexual.

asexuality, like many sexualities, is not an absolute: it’s a spectrum! the spectrum of asexuality includes - but is not limited to - demisexuality (being attracted to someone only after a strong emotional bond has been formed with them), grey-asexuality (feeling sexual attraction to other people very rarely, or very weakly, or a combination of both), and asexuality itself, which is simply never feeling sexual attraction.

as for the question about sex negating asexuality, there are many reasons an asexual person might have sex:

  • to experience physical intimacy with someone they care about a lot, even if they are not sexually attracted to them
  • because they know their partner enjoys it, and they get enjoyment out of pleasing their partner
  • because not feeling sexual attraction doesn’t mean not feeling sexual arousal. you can be asexual but still want to have sex, it’s just that you’re not able to find someone you particularly want to have sex with. I’ve seen an analogy that goes like this: you know that feeling where you’re hungry, and you open the cupboard, and everything you see you’re like… nah… but you’re still hungry? yeah, that. eventually you might end up eating something that you don’t feel especially drawn to, just because you’re hungry.
  • because sex can be really fun! even if you’re not attracted to your partner, sex can be enjoyable (and I am speaking from experience here)
  • to have kids! some asexual people want to raise a family.
  • on a less positive note, society kind of demands sex of people. it’s seen as a young person’s rite of passage, as the cementing of romantic feelings, as a given in any long-term relationship. it’s something that friends bond over, their sex stories; it’s part of drinking games, it’s often part of TV and books and movies, it’s a whole world that demands to be understood or else you risk feeling like - and being treated like - a child. asexual people may feel pressured to have sex, even when not wanting to, just to fit in. this is a not-cool reason.

that is absolutely not an exhaustive list but hopefully it gives you some idea of some reasons why ace people might have sex! still very much asexual before, during, and after.

lastly, you ask how people know they’re asexual… this one is kind of hard to answer. personally, I figured it out pretty late. I’d always assumed that everyone was kind of deciding to be attracted to people, like I was, and it was only after some revealing conversations with friends that I realised - no, most people don’t have to try to force attraction with decisions, it just happens naturally. 

often, the Realisation Process begins with doing a little bit of reading and recognising yourself in the things you’re learning! if you want to know more, I seriously recommend AVEN - click here! - a website which has a crap ton of info!! thank you for your question, I appreciate you wanting to learn and be a good ally - it makes all the difference to have educated, accepting allies out there in the big wide world. you’re wonderful, and hope I helped! <3

how does one not get stressed

anonymous asked:

Hello! Im scared of getting a job because I feel like I'd mess up and embarrass myself. I understand that I should just do it, but i'm scared. /:

No need to feel embarrassed! The job hunt is stressful for everyone, that’s why we have written a TON of blogs about it. I’m not sure if you mean working/resume building while you’re in school or after you graduate, so I’ll give you some resources for both! :)

Interviewing/Resumes:

Working While in School:

The Post-Grad Job Hunt:

Saving Money:

This help you get started on preparing. Don’t be scared, you got this!

I knew from the moment I met her that she would die like this.”
“And you didn’t tell her?”
“I wanted her to live before she died. You can’t tell me you’re not glad she got to be happy.
—  from an unfinished story #869

The thing, that more than anything else, makes me mad about Sense8 and The Get Down’s cancellation is that I have no doubt in my mind that those would be VERY popular, if not Netflix’s most popular, if they had the right promotion. 

Take the cast to shows, make photoshoots, promote your damn work. Those series maybe aren’t “for everyone” (questionable imo) but if people knew about them maybe they would watch it? If you don’t promote your shit don’t go around talking about missed fandom.

How I Make Animated Gifs (Photoshop CS5)

So! I went from no one asking to suddenly having quite a few people asking about how I animated this stuff so I’m putting together a little tutorial now.

(Disclaimer, I am not an actual animator, and my knowledge on this is all trial-and-error but works for me.)

First, you open up Photoshop. Click the icon, blah blah, wait 100000 years for it to load (it takes mine like 5 minutes :’))

Then you’re going to go to “Window” and scroll down to “Animation.”

Something like this should pop up:

It’ll be empty until you open up a file and add a layer. There are a few ways you can go about this - you can either animate via animation timeline or animation frames, but I personally prefer frames. So, once you add a layer, you’ll probably see something like this:

The “click here” is where you want to click if you want to animate by frames. You can toggle between frames and timeline through this. Now, just for the sake of showing what it’ll look like when there’s actually something kinda-animated, I’m going to open up a small animation I did for this.

(Yeah that’s a lot of layers, and each one is individually drawn for the hair hahahaha) Below, on the animation bar, that’s all the individual frames. And if you look closer - 

- you’ll see that I have it set to 0.05 sec per frame. I’ve just found that for actual animation, this is the smoothest (while still manageable) rate to animate sequences, so 0.05-0.08 is generally the range I go with. (I am not an actual animator, I just do what I do.)

For small sort-of animations like this,

each individual motion is anywhere from 0.2 seconds to 0.8 seconds, with varying animation frames in-between to give a staggered effect.

This is what the animation frames look like. Each frame is 0.2 seconds, but I had the motions staggered across the frames. (0.5 and 1 are my usual go-to rates for simple, small-motion animations though.)

Also note that, on the bottom left, I have the loop set to “Forever.” There are the options “once,” “three times,” “forever,” and “other,” but for continuously looping gifs you’ll want “forever.” 

So! What do you do with your completed animation? You go to “File,” and scroll down to “Save for Web & Devices.”

I’ve gone back to the Kushina hair animation thing for this. Now, after you click on “Save for Web & Devices,” something like this should pop-up with an overview.

Review what it is that you want - I generally go with the presets, and pay attention to the bottom right-hand side. Image size, I generally keep within 800^2 px to 1500^2px to keep the files small. (That’s not very small, but considering I draw on 3000px by 2500px+, it is to me)

Also, looping options! If you forget to switch the looping options on the animation frame/timeline, you can do it here too. Once everything is checked over, just click “Save,” and you have your looping gif!

(Yeah no I only put this together quickly, I wasn’t gonna bother making it smoother than I made it. Too much work and not enough time.)

So there! Making looping gifs on photoshop. If you want an actual animation tutorial - how to make smooth walking motions, hair, etc. - you can probably find one on Youtube or something. Saving gifs from professional animation and analyzing the frame-by-frame motions helps too (as I mentioned above, my learning was crude). The actual process of animating is pretty damn time-consuming, but if you do small animations to add some flair to your art, it’s manageable.

Happy gif-making!

anonymous asked:

Hey! How do I tell if I'm ftm trans and not just a tomboy? Sometimes I seriously consider going on T or changing myself, but I really want biological kids so I won't, but I don't know how to get rid of these feelings.

Hey back! ;P I couldn’t possibly answer this question briefly, but it just so happens I wrote a book to help people figure out the answers to questions like these! The first chapter should help you figure out your identity. The second chapter should help you explore whether different aspects of physical transition are right for you. I think it might also be helpful for you to have access to the information in there, as you will learn that going on T does not mean you cannot have biological kids. (For example you could freeze your eggs before starting hormones and/or there are trans men who go off of hormones for a period of time later in life so that they can carry and give birth to a child.) I hope you will find that you don’t have to get rid of any feelings at all, but that those feelings will help guide you to find what path is right for you. Happy gender quest!

ASK ME ANYTHING: TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS EDITION
  • Tim McGraw: The name of my first summer love.
  • Picture To Burn: Someone who's picture I'd like to burn
  • Teardrops On My Guitar: The last time I cried during a song
  • A Place In This World: The Place I'd like to live the most
  • Cold As You: The worst rejection I've ever gotten.
  • The Outside: When did I feel most alone?
  • Tied Together With A Smile: Who is the strongest person I know?
  • Stay Beautiful: Who is the most beautiful person I know?
  • Mary's Song (Oh My My My): The name of my first crush
  • Our Song: A song that means a lot to me.
  • I'm Only Me When I'm With You: A person I can be myself with
  • Invisible: An awkward confession.
  • A Perfectly Good Heart: I'll tell you something sweet about your blog.
  • Fearless: My biggest fear.
  • Fifteen: A memory from when I was fifteen
  • Love Story: A story about something romantic that happened to me.
  • Hey Stephen: The name of my crush
  • White Horse: Have I ever been in love with someone who was taken?
  • You Belong With Me: Which celebrity shoyld see, they belong with me?
  • Breathe: Something I can't breathe without
  • Tell Me Why: A question of mine that has yet to be answered.
  • You're Not Sorry: Something I'm sorry for?
  • Forever & Always: What do I wish to have forever and always?
  • The Best Day: What was the best day so far?
  • Change: What do I want to change about myself?
  • Jump Then Fall: Who's laugh is the best sound I have ever heard?
  • Untouchable: My biggest dream
  • Come In With The Rain: My favourite kind of weather.
  • Superstar: My celebritycrush
  • The Other Side Of The Door: The last person I fought with
  • Mine: The best thing that's ever been mine
  • Sparks Fly: Who captivates my like a fireworkshow?
  • Back To December: If I could go back in time, where would I go?
  • Speak Now: *Insert any question here*
  • Dear John: Something I wanna say to my exboyfriend/girlfriend/crush
  • Mean: The meanest thing someone has ever said to me.
  • The Story Of Us: Tell a story about someone you know
  • Never Grow Up: A memory about growing up
  • Enchanted: Someone who enchants me.
  • Better Than Revenge: Someone you want to teach a lesson
  • Innocent: How easily do I forgive?
  • Haunted: A memory that haunts me.
  • Last kiss: The last person I kissed/wanted to kiss.
  • Long Live: Who will I remember forever?
  • Ours: Who has a pretty little mind?
  • If This Was A Movie: If my life was a movie, who would play me?
  • Superman; If I had any superpower, what would it be?
  • State Of Grace: Who is my achilles' heel?
  • Red: Someone I just can't forget.
  • Treacherous: The most dangerous thing I have ever done
  • I Knew You Were Trouble: The last time I got in trouble
  • All Too Well: Something someone said, I remember all too well
  • 22: My best birthday ever.
  • I almost do: How often do I doubt myself?
  • We Are Never Ever Getting Together: A couple you wish would get back together
  • Stay Stay Stay: Someone you can depend on
  • The Last Time: The Last Time I....*insert something here*
  • Holy Ground: I don't wanna dance, if I'm not dancing with....
  • Sad Beautiful Tragic: Something that makes me sad
  • The Lucky One: My biggest dream
  • Everything Has Changed: Something that has changed about me
  • Starlight: The most marvelous tune
  • Begin Again: What would I do again and again?
  • The Moment I Knew: The moment I knew...*insert something here*
  • Come Back...Be Here: Someone I miss
  • Girl at Home: Have I ever cheated on someone?

13luecloud  asked:

Hi! (LOL, I'm so awkward. ๐Ÿ˜‚) I have a question: do you have tips on writing striking first (and last) sentences? Whenever I try to start writing I always stress a lot on the first sentences (and the last ones) because I believe readers remember them the most. Often I back down from writing because I don't believe the first sentence is good enough. I've been reading stories and books and observed how they do it to help myself to do better, but I still end up with the same problem.

Writing Striking First and Last Lines

Listen up, and listen well: the first sentence of your first draft is allowed to be terrible.  It is not a reflection on your skills as a writer, and certainly not any indication of how the rest of your draft will be. Beginnings are stressful as hell, but you shouldn’t let it get in your way. 

Some people have first sentence block, some people have first page block. They start writing, can’t think of anything good enough, and end up staring at a blank document for hours, waiting for inspiration to strike and a perfect first sentence to appear on the screen. My advice? Don’t wait for inspiration, you’ll never get anything done that way. 

Let’s look at the function of first and last lines. I’ll use examples from one of my favourite books, Uprooted by Naomi Novik.

First Line:

The first sentence needs to pose a “why” question to the reader. 

Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley.” 

So, this tells me that the protagonist lives in a valley with a somewhat notorious Dragon. This Dragon takes girls away, but doesn’t eat them. 

I’m immediately left wondering, who is this Dragon and why doesn’t he eat girls? Why does he take girls if not to eat them? 

I’m left curious, but not confused. I want to know why, and so I’m going to read on. This is an excellent first sentence that does its job of hooking the reader. 

Last Line (!!Spoiler Warning!!)

The last sentence needs to answer that question, or if there is a sequel, hint at a new question. 

““Come and meet my mother,” I said. I reached out and took his arm.”

 These are the last two sentences, but they’re short and work well together. 

Throughout the novel, we’re presented with many questions. The initial “Who is the Dragon?” quickly develops to a “Who will Dragon become to our protagonist?” and this last line answers it. (Of course, there are questions of the “Will the world be saved?” variety in the middle).

This ending is also a reflection of the beginning. The story starts when the Dragon unexpectedly takes our seemingly unremarkable protagonist into his world. The story ends with our protagonist taking the Dragon into hers. We’ve come to full circle, and this last line gives us closure.

When we first start writing our story, we often only have a vague idea of the questions that we’ll be presenting to our readers. These questions become clearer as we write on.  

And remember, people often start their story in the wrong place. They start it too early, or maybe too late. They’re looking for a perfect first line in the wrong place. Imagine that, the first line that you spent days and days on being scrapped in revisions. 

The best advice I can give is this: if the first sentence/paragraph/page is holding you back, then start at the second. Put it aside, start writing your your story at a place you feel comfortable and confident, orient yourself and then come back later. The most important thing to do is write.

Don’t stress it, give it a go, and you may find that somewhere down the line, a perfect first line may come to you. 

D

Q: “Are you tired or upset?”

GP: I’m always happy to be here, but as always you’ve guys have asked me about 10 questions and none have been about the game so…

Q: “Why do you think people jeer at you, because of politics or Madrid Criticism?”

GP:  “Why do you guys care so much? I don’t understand why you guys give this so much attention? Why don’t you talk a bit about football? Why?!

Q:”Because it’s news..:

GP: It’s news? It’s been a year an a half and you guys keep on asking me about this? Why is it still news, because you guys want it to be!

Q: “We want to know how you react”

GP: My reaction? You’ve asked me this for over a year now… every single time, and you think it’s important? YOU make it important”

Q: “The public jeers…”

GP: “No, no, you give this importance, the people weren’t jeering anymore after the Eurocup, but by you and everybody here in the media reporting on this, giving it importance, and making ridiculous polls questioning ‘Should Pique be jeered with the NT?’ you guys all make people jeer again… You seriously think this is about politics?? When have I ever positioned myself in favor of Catalan independence huh? No right? well then?

Q: “Again do you think this has to do with that or your criticism to Madrid?

GP: “I’ve responded 20 times, check your archive…”

anonymous asked:

Hi! So I was wondering. How to say if someone is an INTJ. I mean, I know all the basics and stereotypes, but what in the reality? Is there possibility to recognize them at spot? I'm an ENTP and I truly dream of some nice, typical INTJ to waltz into my life ;;

I am struggling with this myself. But, you know, the process I’ve learned is like this:

Typing Your Average INTJ

  • The person under question of being an INTJ is often quiet in most conversations, but very confident and oftentimes sarcastically/sardonically funny when they do pipe up
  • You often have no doubt that they’re an NT type…they’re pretty intellectual and will make sure you know that they are 
  • Often not dressed according to any sort of trend. They usually dress for comfort or display some sort of interest of theirs
    • My INTJ boyfriend is really into Star Wars and America in general and always wears shirts with death stars and Darth Vader and American flags on them
    • Another INTJ I know never dresses in anything but a sweatshirt and jeans, just depends on their will to express themselves (though in the middle of summer this INTJ will wear Rush t-shirts quite often to display his love of the band)
  • Hair is usually standard or unkempt. This type is not one to want to maintain and style their hair a certain way every day–that’s out of the question
  • Often have some sort of “autistic touch” behavior as my ENTP friend says–will have weird “ticks” like scrunching their eyebrows a lot or picking at the soles of their shoes (even on dates/formal meetings/AKA no social awareness) 
  • They’ll be aware of their little ticks and such but are 9 times out of 10 absolutely fine with it. I dunno, as an Fe user that would drive me insane, but to INTJs it’s just being themselves and they’re A-ok with that. This is one thing I particularly really love about INTJs for whatever reason
  • They have a death glare. They don’t know that they do it, but they stare at random people while in deep thought and really scare certain people because they think the INTJ is glaring at them, but in reality they’re just thinking about what it’d be like if British imperialism was revived, only this time in space
  • Alright, stereotype time, they’re usually pretty arrogant or boastful about their intellect and will make you feel like you’re an ant compared to their giant mental prowess
  • They will tell you you’re dumb if they think you’re dumb. Brutally honest folks here, y’all
  • That being said, if they’re super healthy INTJs, they may be nicer and less “mean” with their words and be careful with word choices, but the gist is the same