i'm pretty sure there are dwarves in there

kessel--run  asked:

Are you sure having Gimli as a Jewish Character is a good choice? I'm a fan of Tolkien's work but it's no secret that the Dwarves were quite literally written as negative Jewish stereotypes.

That’s why I picked Gimli, and not one of the Dwarves from The Hobbit. 

If you look at the Dwarves in the Hobbit, they’re pretty obviously antisemitic caricatures: they never stop whining, they’re constantly descrived as having a lust for gold, and Tolkien even goes out of his way to tell us that “Dwarves are not heroes, but a calculating folk with a great idea of the value of money; some are tricky and treacherous and pretty bad lots; some are not but are decent enough people like Thorin and Company, if you don’t expect too much.” I definitely wouldn’t have been comfortable with putting any of them on this blog (except in a Mother Gothel-style reclaiming, like in the Rapunzel post, but that’s a different subject). 

But by the time Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings, though, he’d obviously evolved. Gimli - in the books at least - is shown to be incredibly eloquent, steadfast, uncomplaining, and brave. In the Glittering Caves sequence Gimli very specifically tells us, over and over, in the most beautiful language I’ve ever read, that Dwarves love not the monetary value of gems but their natural beauty. He’s certainly a far cry from the Dwarves of The Hobbit.

tl;dr:I do think it’s a good choice, but only Gimli. 

anonymous asked:

after rewatching the ending scene I noticed that Emma and Killian are the only ones surprised to see belle with baby Gideon and we can tell that some time has passed (maybe a week or two?) because snowing got their house in the farm it's not possible that they got it that quick & Killian just got his job so I'm pretty sure that means captain swan were enjoying their honeymoon during that week that passed they probably barely left the house maybe just to go sailing on the Jolly Roger ;)

hELL YEEAH. they definitely locked themselves in their room for a few days at least. after all the shit they went through? yes to the Nth degree. they definitely enjoyed a few weeks off, maybe leaving the dwarves in charge of the station like they did when everyone went to Camelot.

just imagining them christening every surface of their house, then the jolly roger, then probably the station as soon as they started working again. probably did it once or twice in the bug, in awkward positions. WHATEVER WORKS, BABES. YOU GO AT IT. Y’ALL MARRIED NOW.

Imagine the look on the dwarves' faces when they catch you with Fili

Pairing: Fili x Reader

Word count: 561

Genre: Fluff & some pre-smut in the end 

Notes: A drabble based on this prompt from IMAGINEXHOBBIT

Your name: submit What is this?

You had been traveling with the company since the beginning and even now you wanted your privacy every now and then. They had become like family to you, even Thorin. He cared for you like a father would. 

After you reclaimed Erebor you and Fili were planning on getting married. You hadn’t told the other dwarves yet considering you wanted to surprise them when you felt like the time was right.

You were all hiding in that big house in the middle of nowhere, you just escaped from this big bear creature.

Keep reading

Zoolander Starter Sentences
  • Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
  • Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
  • Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
  • Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
  • What is this? A center for ants?
  • I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
  • I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
  • It's that damn _____! He's so hot right now!"
  • There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".
  • Die, you wage-hiking scum!
  • Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
  • Screw you and your little dog too!
  • Listen to your friend ____, he's a cool dude!
  • Obey my dog!
  • You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.
  • It's a walk-off!
  • ____ is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.
  • Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?
  • Excuse me, bra.
  • You're excused, and I'm not your bra!
  • Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?
  • I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
  • I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt.
  • You is talking loco and I like it!
  • Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
  • Taste my pain, bitch!
  • I hear words like "beauty" and "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity of self absorption that I try to steer clear of.
  • If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service.
  • You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't.
  • Trippin' on acid changed our whole perspective on shit!
  • Whoa, whoa, easy! How 'bout a "Good afternoon, ____. Thanks for the freak fest last night."
  • They're break-dance fighting.
  • I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
  • Look, I gotta go pee, but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back.
  • Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?
  • What's the dealio, yo?
  • I'm not an ambi-turner.
  • They're *in* the computer?
  • A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?
  • You have no evidence. ____ destroyed everything.
  • The designer's got your nuts in a vice! He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!
  • He had to pull his underwear out of his butt to beat you!
  • Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
  • Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
  • What say we settle this on the runway?
  • I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.
  • This has been an emotional day for all of us. I think we should get naked.
  • Don't ask questions. Just give in to the power of the tea.
  • You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.
  • I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.
  • When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
  • Seriously, do you like service yourself ten times a day?
  • I friggin' worship you, man.
  • They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this?
  • Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!

pretty sure at this point dark hook could ACTUALLY LITERALLY unleash the hellhounds on storybrooke and run over like six of the dwarves and steal henry’s author quill and probably even turn over charming to arthur to be ritually murdered for betraying the bro code, and i’d just be like “oh you adorable terrible muppet of destruction it’s okay mama loves you”

livingwithendo  asked:

So the post about sex=marriage for elves also has me wondering about another inherent biological difference between middle earth's races: miscarriage rates. Because pre-good medicine humans? Damn high. I'm assuming it's similar for hobbits. But elves? I mean they're advanced as fuck medicinally in comparison, so it'd make sense that they'd have a lower rate. Perhaps that's one reason why they're less into the birth and more into the WE HAVE A CHILD NOW THANK YOU SEX than other races?


Pre-modern medicine was pretty terrible for miscarriages or for women to die in childbirth, those rates were REALLY HIGH.  I’m not sure about the other races (though, I suspect humans and hobbits are fairly evenly matched, but Aule made the Dwarves to be super sturdy), but Elves are definitely hardier than the other races.  They don’t feel the cold nearly as much, they take a lot longer to die of starvation, and they’re immune to illnesses.

Given the low birth rates for Elves in the first place, combined with their hardier bodies and better medicine, my instinct says that miscarriages/the mother dying in childbirth was fairly low for Elves.

I am super fascinated by Elven biology, though.  Like, just what does it mean that they can’t get diseases?  We know they can be poisoned (because Aredhel died from the poisoned spear), but what about infection setting into a wound?  How vulnerable are they to that?  If there’s a need for Elven medicine at all, they must have some things that need curing in the first place!