i'm posting this now because i have nothing better to do

Podcast rec list

My old podcast rec/request list is still getting notes so I figured I’d make a new list with everything I’ve downloaded since then. Favourites are italicized*.

For updates, please check @insomniac-podcaster.

Audio drama (Fantasy)

  • Alba Salix, Royal Physician* - Follows trials and tribulations of Farloria’s head witch of the House of Healing, Alba Salix. It is a 6-part mini-series (+ bonuses) with no future episodes currently planned.
  • The Behemoth -  15-year-old Madyson tells the story of the Behemoth, a large, lumbering beast that has emerged from the waters off of Cape Cod. It will be a 20-part mini-series.
  • Hello From the Magic Tavern - An improv comedy podcast hosted by Arnie, a man who accidentally passed through a portal into the land of “Foon”. Every week Arnie interviews patrons of the Vermilion Minotaur tavern including monsters, wizard, and adventurers.

Audio drama (Horror)

  • Alice Isn’t Dead* - A truck driver searches across America for the wife she had long assumed was dead, encountering not-quite-human serial murderers, towns literally lost in time, and a conspiracy that goes way beyond one missing woman along the way. This podcast is produced by the same people who brought you Welcome to Night Vale.
  • Archive 81 - These are the recovered tapes of missing archivist Daniel Powell, posted by a well-meaning friend hoping to locate him.
  • Help Me - Nicole investigates the mysterious death of her friend Olivia and possible link to a dangerous entity. It is a 15-part mini-series with no future episodes currently planned.
  • Limetown* - Radio host Lia Haddock investigates the sudden disappearance of the residents of Limetown. It is a 7-part mini-series (+ bonuses) with future seasons (and possibly a TV show) in the works.
  • Return Home - Jonathan Baker returns to his home town after being contacted by a mysterious entity. Episodes are broken up into multiple parts aired every week, with breaks between episodes.

Audio drama (Pseudo-radio show)

  • The Black Tapes* - (horror) A weekly radio show hosted by Alex Reagan that investigates unsolved paranormal phenomenon documented by the Strand Institute. They also produce TANIS.
  • The Message* - (sci-fi) Nicky Tomalin documents the work of a team of cryptologists as the attempt to decipher an alien message. It is an 8-part mini-series.
  • Good Morning Zakera Ward - (sci-fi, Mass Effect) A morning radio show set in the Mass Effect universe. It is an 11-part series that appears to have ended abruptly, but is still worth a listen if you’re a fan of the games.
  • King Falls AM - (sci-fi/fantasy) A late-night talk show from quaint town of King Falls that is frequently interrupted by peculiar happenings and paranormal events.
  • TANIS - (horror) A docu-drama series hosted by Nic Silver exploring the myth and conspiracy of Tanis. They also produce The Black Tapes.
  • Welcome to Night Vale - (cosmic horror)  Community radio updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, featuring local weather, news, announcements from the Sheriff’s Secret Police, mysterious lights in the night sky, dark hooded figures with unknowable powers, and cultural events.

Audio drama (Sci-Fi)

  • ars PARADOXICA* - A journey through spacetime and the Cold War with Dr. Sally Grissom, a physicist send back in time when an experiment goes awry.
  • The Bright Sessions* - The recorded therapy sessions of Dr. Bright, who provides support for patients with unusual talents. ((It’s more of a paranormal drama that a true sci-fi)).
  • The Bunker - A breakfast radio show broadcast back in time to us from the post-apocalyptic year 2414. It’s a 12-part mini-series, and the developers are currently working on another sci-fi series that will be titled Mars Corp.
  • EOS 10* - The adventures of two maladjusted doctors, their medical team, and a hypochondriac ex-prince aboard an intergalactic travel hub.
  • Kakos Industries - Corporate announcements for Kakos Industries, a corporation dedicated to helping you ‘do evil better’.
  • Liberty - Tales from Atrius, a colony cut off from humanity and racked by civil war, and the surrounding lawless expanse known as the Fringe. It consists of multiple mini-series.
  • Sayer - Acclimate to life on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon, with the assistance of the self-aware AI SAYER.
  • Thrilling Adventure Hour - A podcast in the style of an old-timey radio show consisting of the regular sub-series ‘Sparks Nevada: Marshall on Mars’ and ‘Beyond Belief’ as well as other segments.
  • Wolf 359*** - Follows the crew of the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station as they orbit around the red dwarf Wolf 359. This is my all-time favourite series - you should be downloading it right now… unless you’ve already heard it in which case you should definitely treat yourself and listen to it again.

Informational

  • Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History - As the title implies, this is really hardcore history. Episodes are exceedingly well-researched and is surprisingly easy to listen to considering the density of the subject matter.
  • Lore - A podcast examining myths and folktales alongside the true dark stories that either inspired or arose from them. A chilling listen that also has a TV show in the works.
  • Myths and Legends - Re-tellings of both popular and obscure legends that make them very accessible to a modern audience (i.e. people like me who DON’T read Beowulf in it’s original Old English for fun in their free time).
  • Sleep With Me* - Honestly, I have no idea what this podcast is actually about because Ackerman’s ramblings are so soothing I’m usually asleep shortly after turning it on. If you have insomnia and problems falling asleep to silence (like myself), this is a must-download - it’s more engaging that rain/wave/whale noises but you don’t have to worry about missing anything.

Literature

  • Escape Pod - Every episode consists of a sci-fi short story from a variety of sub-genres, and they are generally 30-60 minutes in length. If you enjoy Escape Pod, also check out their fantasy (PodCastle) and horror (PseudoPod) podcasts.
  • The NoSleep Podcast - Narrations of short horror stories posted to the NoSleep reddit board. It’s featured horror stories for every squick and trigger imaginable so be careful with this one if you aren’t into hardcore horror, and definitely heed the warnings at the beginnings of episodes.

True Crime

  • Serial - I don’t think it’s possible to be a podcast fan and not have (at the very least) heard about Serial. If you haven’t listened to it yet, definitely give it a go - there’s a reason it was at the top of the (Canadian) iTunes store for close to a year. It’s produced by ‘This American Life’, which is another professionally-produced podcast worthy of downloading.
  • Someone Knows Something - A series produced by CBC that examines unsolved cases of missing or murdered individuals.
  • Thin Air Podcast - Two English majors investigate cold cases by examining evidence and interviewing people involved with the original investigation.

Pending - I either haven’t started these or haven’t listened to enough to categorize them, but most have been rec’d by multiple sources so check them out!

  • A New Winter - A first-hand account of the unsolved murders and disappearances of 25 people in a small UK village.
  • The Cleansed: A Post-Apocalyptic Saga - (audio drama - sci-fi) An epic post-apocalyptic saga set in a world ravaged by fossil fuel scarcity.
  • Greater Boston - An audio drama set in Boston that blends the real and the unreal, the historical and the fantastical.
  • Hadron Gospel Hour - (audio drama - sci-fi)A sci-fi comedy/adventure following a duo of scientists stranded ouside of spacetime in the Hadron Bunker.
  • Jim Robbie and the Wanderers - (audio drama - sci-fi) Follows two female musicians travelling surreal America with their robot companion, Jim Robbie.
  • Monster Talk - (informational) Examines the science behind cryptozoological and legendary monsters. 
  • The Night Blogger - (audio drama - paranormal) It appears to follow blogger Brian Foster’s encounters with the paranormal.
  • Our Fair City - (audio drama - sci-fi) A campy (their words), post-apocalyptic audio drama.
  • Pete’s Paranormal Chronicles -  (audio drama) In 1996, Pete Schwartz began work on a documentary series called Pete’s Paranormal Chronicles, but his sanity began to unravel during the production of the program and he became completely immersed in a nationwide conspiracy.
  • The Twilight World of Ultimate Smoothness - A podcast chronicling the decline and fall of radio veteran Greg Willis. It is a 6-part mini-series.
  • Ruby: The Adventures of a Galactic Gumshoe -  (audio drama) Ruby is a hip, tough-talking detective hired to track down the malefactors who are manipulating the media on the planet Summa Nulla (the “high point of nothing”).
  • Unexplained - (informational) A podcast about strange and mysterious real-life events that continue to evade explanation.

As always, if there’s a podcast you like that’s missing from this list, please drop me a line (message, ask, fan mail, raven, etc. etc.) and I’ll check it out! I’ll also be adding a podcast link to my blog featuring this list with updates. Enjoy~

“Prom was invented just to make girls starve so they can fit in a dress and compete over a stupid title.”

“Uh –” Derek blinks, eyes his sister dubiously, “I’m not a girl?”

Cora huffs. “Whatever.”

In the kitchen Laura bursts out laughing. “Don’t worry.” She yells. “Cora is just jealous she will have to wait five years to go to her own prom.”

“I’m not going!” Cora yells back. “Prom is stupid, I don’t even know why you’re going,” she tells Derek, “it’s not like you know how to have fun.”

Derek raises an eyebrow while Laura just laughs harder. “Oh my god.” Their older sister says. “I stay away for six months and Cora turns into a sassy queen.” She walks into the living room, pretends to wipe at her eyes. “I’m so proud.”

“You two are ridiculous.” Derek says, turning around. “And I’m just going because Erica promised to pay me. With ice cream.” Then he gives Cora a wicked smile. “That I’m not going to share with either of you.”

“You are the worst brother!” Cora yells as he begins to climb the stairs. “And I hope you fall on your ass while trying to dance!”

“Can’t hear you!” Derek’s cell begins to ring. “Too busy getting ready to prom!”

Laura lets out a high-pitched laughter. “I love you two so much.”

Derek shakes his head fondly, closes his bedroom door behind himself just as Cora tells Laura to shut up. “Hey.” He answers the phone, collapsing on his bed. “What’s up?”

“Yo,” Stiles answers, “whatcha doing?”

“Listening to my sisters fight.” He says, snorting when he hears his dad start complaining about all the yelling and ‘no, Cora, I’m not letting you go to prom, you’re thirteen!’. “I’m gonna have to check the trunk of my car tomorrow night.”

Stiles laughs. “She’s not that good.”

“If you keep teaching her, she will be.” Derek blurts out, curses himself mentally when he realizes it came out harsher than he intended.

It’s just – sometimes he can’t help it. He’s known Stiles since they were four, Cora wasn’t even born then, but one day she turned eleven and Stiles became her new favorite person. Stiles couldn’t find it funnier and took Cora as his little apprentice. He even taught her how to cheat on Mario Kart.

He’s never taught Derek that.

Derek rolls his eyes, thinks about his little sister still downstairs pouting and trying to convince their dad that she’s old enough to go out. He shouldn’t be jealous of her, but the thing is – he grew up with two sisters, he knows how to share toys and food, but he doesn’t know how to share Stiles.

Because Stiles is his.

Keep reading

helly-watermelonsmellinfellon  asked:

Hi! You don't have to do this any time soon or anything, but I wanted to ask if you could gather a collection of all the fics written for @beanpots' Day & Night AU? I was reading over mine and contemplating adding more to it, when I realized I hadn't read any of the other fics inspired for it. And now I'm curious to see the other fics. Thanks for all the work you do! <3

This is one of my favourite AUs!! Much love to @beanpots who created the original AU that started it all which you can find here

(The wonderful art was created by @vulpes–vulpes and you can find the original post here! Permission was granted by the artist, please do not repost!)


Day and Night AU


of dusk and dawn and a love beyond by exile_wrath, Gen, 5.5k
The King of Day, Victor, drops flowers to the Ruler of Night, Yuuri, to express his love for him; yet, they are always returned, as Yuuri thinks that they’re dropped by mistake. Victor cries and plucks wishes off the petals every time, remembering the time when once, they had been together. SO GOOD I LOVE THIS

Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctem by Libika, Gen, 3.2k
Yet he couldn’t help but let his mind wander and think about this beautiful man in a glistening gown, with hundreds of stars shining brightly on it. The way his eyes shined – as they were made of thousands of stars themselves – when he was thinking about something. The Sky court was bathed in sunlight, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit melancholic. Very sweet!

When the Sun Met the Moon by Birdieee, Not Rated, 5.4k
The rulers of the two kingdoms are as distant as the stars themselves, yet the invisible thread of fate binds them together. What happens when the sun and the moon fall in love? Lovely Day and Night AU!

A Lunar Eclipse to Remember by Phoenix_Rising719, Gen, 7.5k
The King of Night, Yuuri Katsuki, is doing his best to keep it together and host a Lunar Eclipse Gala on his own. But that only works so well with out poor anxiety ridden child. But that’s nothing a little liquid courage can’t fix, right? Such a great fic!

Dusk & Dawn by Watermelonsmellinfellon, Mature, 3.5k
Victor was the King of Day. Dawn incarnate. Yuuri was the King of Night. Dusk incarnate. Dawn and Dusk come together twice every day, to exchange duties. They are eternal, existing in a romance as old as time itself. And the celestial bodies of their universe forever turn because of their power and love. I LOVE this!

The Eclipse of Roses by OrionHunts, Gen, 2k 
Victor is the king of daytime, better known as Day, and is crushing on his neighboring king, Night. After sending countless flowers Yuuri’s way, it finally takes Night’s dear friend Dusk (Phichit) to give the two of them the final push into falling in love. Phichit is the best matchmaker tbh

Sky of Endless Love by CagedBirdSings, Gen, 3.2k (WIP)
In a Realm far above the Earth, the King of Day leaves behind roses of vivid red - all in the hopes of having his feelings reach the King of Night. Meanwhile, Yuuri wonders why Victor keeps dropping his roses. SO FREAKIN CUTE

Stardust by Iki_victuri, Not Rated, 5.9k
After millennia of crossing paths daily Yuuri still had never even gazed upon the Day King’s face. All that will change in a fraction of a moment, along with his life, forever. Thumbs up!

When The Sun Chases The Moon From The Sky by ShrubbyScribe, Teen, 13k
The first time it happened, he thought it was a mistake.
The second time it happened, he didn’t know what to make of it.
The seventh time it happened, he started to get annoyed. AWESOME fic!

Finally Here by darklilcorner, Gen, 1.9k
Yuuri is the King of Night and Viktor is the King of Day. Grateful to the Night for allowing him to rest, Viktor leaves meaningful roses for Yuuri. The roses show how he feels, but Yuuri always returns them… Great fic!

morning and night by cosmofluous, Gen, 2.9k (WIP)
He really does hang the stars in the sky, and burn as bright as the sun. The descriptions in this fic are amazing!

Of Cloudless Climbs and Starry Skies by Maiden_of_the_Moon, Gen, 1.5k
The King of Day should not turn his head to watch. He should not hesitate, even though the sun does in the distance. He should not drop that single rose when their slippers align, when their gossamer gowns chafe whispers, and starlight pokes pinpricks into the dome of the sky. He should not romanticize that moment when day is overcome by night.But in being so overcome, how can he not? Very good fic!

For Your Time (I’ll Give You This Smile) by Liana_Legaspi, Gen, 2.2k
“Do you love me?” the King of Day says to Yuuri’s retreating back.Stop.Think.“I haven’t decided yet.” Yuuri confesses, “I might hate you.”There’s a smile in Viktor’s voice that’s sweeter than any lullaby Yuuri’s ever heard. “Then, if that’s the case, I’ll wait with you until you decide.” WOW!

Open Up The Stars by Kisnau, Gen, 9.4k (WIP)
The Sun and Moon were old friends. This is not a story of the Sun and Moon, equal entities and ancient neighbors. This is a story of their children, Night and Day. 

listen i know yall love red and speak now especially but can i just…. taylor swift umm, she was 18 or younger when she wrote the songs on fearless. just hear me out. i’m 18 and can barely formulate a coherent sentence and she was out here penning lyrics like “people are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out, nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out”, “it rains in your bedroom everything is wrong, it rains when you’re here and it rains when you’re gone”, “in your life, you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team” ETC and that’s not all, ladies! i love all her albums but NO album has as many angsty songs to cry to as fearless! ahem fifteen?? breathe?? you’re not sorry?? forever and always PIANO VERSION?!!! ever heard of angrily singing tell me why all alone in your room? i bet you have and i rest my case; fearless is a masterpiece and she deserves better

Analysis: Astro as Boyfriends...

To the anon that requested this: I sincerely apologize about how ridiculously long this is;;; it’s like rly long i’m so sry but once you get me started on Astro as BFs, I could go on for hours, okay? like they’d be the best boyfriends EVER don’t fight me on this <3 T~T

JinJin

  • literally the softest boyfriend in the world
  • always wants to make sure you’re happy and comfortable
  • if you’re not though
  • he becomes like this unstoppable pillar of emotional and physical reassurance and support <3
  • he’ll always snuggle you until you feel better
  • or until you’re ready to talk about whatever’s bothering you
  • loves to bear-hug you from behind
  • and just totally wrap you up in his arms
  • SUCH a good listener
  • incredibly patient!!
  • loves showing off for you but gets embarrassed about it easily
  • buys you little presents all the time
  • just lil things
  • like “i saw this and thought of you” type of gifts
  • bc you’re always lowkey on his mind
  • lowkey what am i saying?? ur highkey on his mind

now.

  • let’s talk about skinship =u=

Keep reading

Trust

DAY 4 OF WHUMP WEEK- Torture.

I’m actually really proud of this one? It’s a bit longer than usual, and it’s very Keith-centric even though I’m whumping Lance because hi have you met me? I’m too invested in klance. I hope you enjoy!

@elsiemcclay aka the best person to run ideas and/or titles by. thanks friendo.


A groan sounded to Keith’s left, and he looked over immediately, trying to mask his relief with a glare. “Oh, good. He finally decided to wake up.”

“Hey, how many times do I have to tell you? Beauty sleep is important.” A pause. “Where are we again?”

Pidge snorted. “Guess that general hit him harder than we thought.”

“Lance! You’re okay! I was worried— that totally knocked you out, you hadn’t moved in a while,” Hunk rambled. “Does your head hurt?”

“Like hell,” Lance said, leaning back against the wall and pressing a hand to his forehead. “But nothing too serious. Thankfully, now that I’m conscious, I remember what happened. We’ve been captured, haven’t we?”

Keep reading

Bakushima/Kiribaku could be canon

Well okay, first of all I’m not that kind of big dreamer who thinks this really is gonna become canon ‘cause… not. Let’s be real, this is a shonen manga, read by a majority of teenage boys, and therefore, explicit shonen ai will never occur (hope i’m wrong).

If Horikoshi sensei was gonna make a m/m ship canon, probably he would start receiving some hate from his fans, which is pretty sad.

But on the other hand, implicit insinuation may occur, and I think that’s already happening. I’m gonna try to lay up some very canon moments beacuse Kirishima/Bakugou it’s just so great… <3

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm not one of those who blames Harry for what is happening rn, but man, I'm side eyeing the fuck out of Jeff. I dont know what restrictions Harry still has and all that, but this is some terrible shit tbh. Like, all these rumours about premiering his music before Dunkirk... that would be terrible!!! It would so undermine and overshadow his role in Dunkirk. Terrible business decision. And now the timing of this registration... it couldnt be worst tbh. I really hope Jeff knows what he's doing

I agree with you, and also, I’m going to go on a bit of a rant because I can’t not. I just honestly think everything related to Harry’s solo career is absurd right now. Harry has been almost entirely cut off from the fandom pretty much since hiatus began. I think that’s fine, and honestly, and I know we’ve all missed him, but I think Harry (possibly even more than the others) needed that time to himself. I think it gave him time to recover from such a tough schedule with One Direction, I think it gave him a break from the fan service and BS that really seemed to have burned him out, and it gave him time to focus on Dunkirk, which was obviously something outside of his comfort zone that required his full concentration. But Jesus Christ, man. This is beyond ridiculous at this point.

We’ve gotten countless media sources, celebrities, and others in the industry talking about his debut album. And because he’s not talking, all of these people and sources are talking FOR him - and we don’t even know which of the things they’re saying are correct and which are completely false. And blah blah blah yeah, obviously the media is gonna talk about solo Harry regardless, but you’re lying to yourself if you think that his team couldn’t have shut up some of the people who have run their mouths about solo Harry at this point. And if the media is going to always make claims about his future music, both true and false, why wouldn’t he just speak for himself? Why wouldn’t his team speak for him? Why have they allowed this to happen for so fucking long? And don’t even give me that bullshit about oh, they just want to keep anticipation up - because at this point, that tactic doesn’t even make sense. I honestly don’t even know how solo Harries are alive right now considering they get hyped up for his music every two days based on what so-and-so said to the media. It’s fucking EXHAUSTING and it eventually burns people out to be constantly disappointed when they’re promised that something is about to happen and then it doesn’t. I’ve seen a lot of burnout in this fandom in the last week alone on the solo Harry front, and that’s so sad to see because things could have been so different.

If they’re gonna have a dude from Columbia come out here and tell me that an album is nearly done, and then have Grimmy say he was about to hear the album, and then have a touring company registered like a tour is gonna be in the works sometime soon when they haven’t said jack shit about ANYTHING, that’s beyond frustrating to me. You don’t have to give every fucking detail but god, not even a confirmation that the album is coming? NOTHING. Nothing at all.

Louis kept up fan service pretty consistently last year and eventually dropped music. Liam posts updates about his album progress to his social media, and yeah, his album still isn’t out, but there also haven’t been fifty people saying to the press every four days that it’s almost done. Niall was active on social media and kept up fan service last year before dropping his single as a surprise. Harry has done none of that, and I’m not saying that Harry has to do it the way the other boys did, but this is….really yikes. I don’t understand what the fuck his team is playing at, I really don’t. I know that Harry is the most famous in the band and I know that his music is the most anticipated, but he is not some untouchable artist with a shitload of street cred where his album is guaranteed to top at number one. I know this fandom might want to think that’s the case, but it isn’t. He is not Beyonce with numerous successful albums and decades in the industry. He has never put out solo music, and not only that, but we don’t have even the vaguest clue as to what his solo music would SOUND like at this point because again, we’ve heard nothing from his team.

The way this is being executed screams lazy and arrogant to me, and Harry is neither of those things, so I want to know what the deal is. To have this buildup for over a year with everyone else talking about it except for the people whose voices count the most and just expecting fans to be there, still waiting and ready and foaming at the mouth whenever you choose to drop music even though you never bothered to say anything about it….that doesn’t rub me the right way at all, I’m sorry. And listen, knowing this fandom and how much solo Harries have stayed pumped, it might work for them, it, but god, that is just….I don’t understand how people can respect that method of doing things. Us, the fans, as future consumers of his music, as the people who ensured that Harry is in the position he’s in today, deserve better than this. I know that fandom entitlement is a thing and we don’t deserve a lot of things that we think we deserve, but are people really gonna try to act like having confirmation of an album from Harry or his team is asking too much? Wanting some respect, and some clarity, and some basic fucking facts (for example: Are you coming out with an album? When is it coming out?) for Harry’s FIRST SOLO ALBUM EVER after over a year of almost complete silence from him (and silence about his future plans long before that) is perfectly reasonable, especially considering how much we’ve been jerked around about Harry’s solo career for like five years now, and quite frankly, anyone trying to suggest otherwise is fooling themselves. Harry’s team may not be able to control everything the media or other artists do or say about solo Harry, but they can (or at least, you would think they would be able to) control their own behavior, and at least so far, it seems like they’re just letting everybody else do the work for them (and do it messily at that, considering how many lies and ridiculous speculation has been published and passed around over the past year or so).

I’m just really frustrated because I don’t understand why his team is doing this and why they’re giving this impression of not knowing what they’re doing (e.g. the Full Stop website) or just not caring (e.g. [the metric for success] “is just existing”). With a lot of the Louis bullshit, even without knowing the exact details of what’s going on, you can usually figure out quite quickly that a) they’re actively trying to fuck him over and b) why they’re actively trying to fuck him over. The involvement of the stunts tainting everything Louis does also makes the intentions of his team clear (though no less infuriating). But this stuff with Harry? I don’t understand it and can’t even begin to imagine why things are being done this way. I don’t think it’s fair to the fans and I think it’s doing a huge disservice to Harry, his music, and if the rumors about when he’s dropping the music are correct, his acting career. I just really, really hope that there’s a huge change soon because I’m really cringing at what I’m seeing so far. I wish I understood any of this, but I don’t and watching it all happen is exhausting.

Alright, some of my word vomit is out. If people disagree with me, that’s fine, but this is my opinion. And no, I don’t think negatively of Harry or anything like that, I’m just not pleased with how things are being handled by his team (just as I’m not pleased with how Louis’ team is doing things) and I need to voice that.

Izuku the "entertainer"

So, after re-reading some of my favorite scenes over and over again, I noticed today how often Izuku really surprises, amazes or shocks Toshinori. Honestly, Toshinori may be a dork, but he has got himself and his expression under control quite properly most times. But when it comes to Izuku? Then he gets flabbergasted time and time again. Something about Izuku just manages to surprises him even after all this time… there really is a reason why Toshinori calls Izuku an entertainer repeatedly!

Look at this:

How they met, and All Might completely loses it at Izuku’s “enthusiasm”:

Hearing that Izuku is not that different from the boy he once was himself:

Izuku rushing into danger to save Kacchan:

Smiling like his idol would, making him remember what being a hero means:

Izuku overworking himself to reach his idol:

 … and doing more than even All Might anticipated:

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Sorry if I'm bothering you but can you share why you think avatar is bad?

hoo boy man ur asking for a lot bc that show is a complete and utter M E S S. first, heres the main phrase my tibetan ass wants u to think about: its a show using asian/indigenous ppl and their devastating histories made by ignorant weeaboo white men. I want to write about it in detail bc i’ve always wanted to say something about this but never rly got around to doing it. maybe ill send this in letter format to the writers lol. anyways im going to split this up into parts. I’ll put a readmore bc its kinda long

@bryankonietzko take a nice long look if u still use tumblr lmao

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can u show us more of your favourite moments from AA?

nonny, trust me when I say I’ve been thinking about this ask every day since you’ve sent it (which is probably like, at least 2 weeks now?). I’ve literally got post-its all over my desk with half-finished lists of my favorite AA moments because it was so hard to choose something to talk about

with that said, after re-watching several of my favorite episodes, I want to talk a little bit about Tony’s relationship with praise. Specifically: the gradual change in the way Tony accepts praise from Steve over the course of the series

Or, alternatively named: “why The Age of Tony Stark continues to be the best AA episode that ever aired”

So: as we all know, Tony has a complicated relationship with his sense of self-worth. That’s just a multi-versal constant. While he may be handsome, selfless, and a literal genius, he’s always expecting more of himself. Telling himself to be better, pushing himself beyond his limits, putting himself at risk if it means saving the world or sparing others. If he ever fails, Tony is his own worst and harshest critic. As such, it comes as no surprise that he’d be uncomfortable accepting praise and encouragement from others…especially from someone who he sees as a role model; someone who he believes is inherently better than him.

Enter Steve Rogers. It’s no secret to us that AA!Steve thinks the world of Tony. If Steve believes in anything in this new-fangled 21st century world, it’s Tony Stark. Not only that, Steve has no shame in expressing these feelings in what we all lovingly refer to as his inspirational Speeches™. The first instances of one of these speeches is “In Deep,” where Steve tells Tony he’s more than just his armor. However, what I’d like to point out is Tony’s expression while Steve is, in essence, praising him:

It’s no mistake that the animators chose to show us Tony’s face at the tail end of Steve’s speech. It’s clear as day how uncomfortable he is: his head is ducked, eyes averted, eyebrows furrowed, and he’s biting his lip. It’s as if Tony is physically shying away from Steve’s genuineness. Instead of accepting the praise, what does he do?

He deflects. He tries to lessen the gravity of Steve’s words with humor and false arrogance, though it comes out relatively bare. Steve, of course, maybe sensing that he needs to pick his battles, quips back “can’t you just take a compliment,” which ironically hits the nail right on the head.

Cut to the end of season 1, in “The Final Showdown,” where Tony has expended all his armors and is left with nothing to fight against the Cabal. Once again, Steve reaffirms his utter confidence in Tony’s abilities:

And again, just like in “In Deep,” Tony deflects, berating himself:

To which Steve replies: 

“Billionaire genius philanthropist! You’ll think of something!”

As sweet as that is, what interests me again is Tony’s expression as Steve runs back into the fray:

Everything about his posture screams defensive. His arms are crossed, and he has a pensive, slight frown on his face. Unlike in “In Deep” however, where Tony had literally no where to hide after Steve gave his speech, Tony now has a chance to digest Steve’s words privately, as the latter had thrown himself back into battle right after saying them. It’s not for long, but Tony actually gives himself a second. Reflects.

Now comes “The Age of Tony Stark,” which in my opinion is when everything changes. Not only do Steve and Tony spend a significant amount of time together in this episode, but they also have to fight Red Skull with Tony at his most vulnerable. After all, not only has he regained the physical limitations of being a child, but he also has to re-confront many of the insecurities he had as a child due to a father who held the “perfection” of Captain America over his head. Many truths come out, but by the end of the episode, Tony finally breaks down:

In this moment, Tony finally expresses what he constantly keeps bottled inside as an adult. He’s scared: that he’s not good enough, that he’s not strong enough, that he won’t be able to save the world when it needs him most. Not only that, he confesses this to Steve, who he looks up to, who he feels the need to prove himself in front of. The person who he felt he couldn’t be weak in front of.

But of course, Steve never thought Tony was weak. Tony never had to prove himself, because Steve already believed that Tony could do anything:

In that moment, Tony finally let down his walls and let Steve in. In a way, I think this is when Tony truly starts trusting Steve, because he realized that even though Steve had seen him at both his highest and his lowest, his confidence in him never wavered. How do I know this? Well, after “The Age of Tony Stark,” the next Speech™ that Steve really gives is the one we all know and love from “The Ultron Outbreak”:

And how does Tony react?

He smiles. He glows. He lets Steve’s confidence in him reinforce his own, and then he goes to save the world.

anonymous asked:

I've been trying to write the plot for characters I've developed for months and I can never come up with a good enough conflict. I can develop characters for days but once it comes to writing conflict I'm at a complete loss. Nothing ever seems good enough or interesting enough. The story is supposed to have a dark undertone and takes place near the sea in the 20's. I'm at a loss after that...

Characters Without Conflict

Before we talk about conflicts, make sure that you’re judging what’s good enough and interest enough on the right scale. Your scale. You might be afraid that no one will like it because it’s been done, or because no one is reading stuff like this, or because it doesn’t feel like enough action. But whether or not something is good enough starts with you

The first thing you need to do is gain some confidence. Take a look @maxkirin‘s story idea test. Once you accept the truth of this post, you’ll feel a lot better. But now, onto adding conflict when all you’ve got is characters.

1) Character Drama

Examine the relationships between your characters and find things for them to fight about. The way they’re each living their lives, or a crucial decision that needs to be made, an unforgivable act that one of them committed, a secret that was kept. Find sources of drama between the two of them. It may be that whatever you come up with is enough to drive an entire story. 

2) The Dead Body Trick

This is going to sound cliche, but the dead body trick works well. Have your characters stumble onto a body or witness something being murdered. Then imagine the possibilities of what comes after. Do they become suspects in the murder when they discover the body? Are they threatened by the murderer when their presence is discovered? Are they more tied to the murder than it seems on the surface? 

The dead body trick need not apply only to strangers either. Have one of your characters going through a recent loss of someone, and write how the person died to help inspire you to tell the story. 

You can also apply this trick to one of your existing characters. Choose someone from your cast and say “This person is going to die at the end of the story.” Now you work backwards to determine why and how that’s going to happen. You’re forced to develop a conflict that results in this outcome. 

3) Use Your Setting

In the case of this anon, setting can help you develop conflict. If the story takes place in a specific time period and location, there will likely be historical and regional events that can create conflict surrounding your characters. If we’re talking the 1920s in America, you’ve got prohibition that immediately creates conflict as people choose sides. If the story takes place near waterways, you’ve got potential issues of storms, tourism, merchant and commercial importing/exporting, fishermen trade and their agreements with local restaurants and seafood shops. Look at the issues facing the people in your time period/setting and see how your characters fit into those issues. What roles do they play? What problems will they face in these roles?

4) Start With Just One Problem

Don’t try to overwhelm yourself by thinking of a half a dozen plot arcs to keep the story moving. Start with just one, and follow it through to conclusion. When you’ve identified one problem, keep asking yourself A) How can it get worse and B) What will my character do about it? Both of these questions will help you move to the next part of the story. When you have a complete narrative arc surrounding one problem, it’ll be easier to think about things like subplots and how to add complexity to the story overall. 

These are just some ideas to get you going. Keep brainstorming and thinking. Be patient with yourself through this process. It can take months before you find that magical “Aha!” revelation where everything in your story just falls into place. 

-Rebekah

how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.

Concept: Mickey and Emil have been friends basically since they both began skating. They’re really close, and when I say close I mean HELLA. Sleepovers, friendship bracelet exchange when they were 12 (Emil still wears his outside of skating, and while Mickey will never admit it he still keeps his in his wallet of all places), the whole deal. Sara is also part of their friend group, but she’s definitely not as close to Emil as Mickey is.

And then puberty hits and Mickey suddenly becomes very aware of Emil and his closeness to Sara. In reality, nothing’s really changed, but he’s begun to get a weird tight feeling in his chest whenever he sees Emil smiling and laughing with Sara. He begins to be a lot more protective over Sara because that’s what it’s gotta be, right? Sara is getting prettier each year, and as her big brother he has a responsibility to keep men from taking advantage of her. Even if it’s Emil, who he’s known for years. Anyways, there’s nothing else this feeling can be, right? Right. Nothing more than protectiveness.

Keep reading

i like seeing you laugh

please tell me i’m not the only person in the world still thinking about passe på meg. i think of it as their little private i love you scene.

Isak and Even are two teenage boys. they don’t often sit down to discuss the intricacies of their relationship, they don’t verbalise every feeling. they don’t verbalise it, but we are shown it. when they hang out in mekke øl and hjernen er alene, their conversation is sometimes inaudible because the focus is not on what they’re saying but instead on how they make each other feel. they make each other laugh. they make each other laugh a lot. they make each other shine. maybe their jokes are hilarious, or maybe their jokes are terribly unfunny, it doesn’t matter, because dating someone who makes you laugh doesn’t mean you need to date a comedian, it means dating someone with whom you vibe so well that their mere presence relaxes you, being with them makes you laugh. we see that a lot with Isak and Even. good vibes and good laughs. how being around each other is effortless because they can just be.

so when Isak touches Even’s lower lip and says i like seeing you laugh, it’s a casual remark, but it’s also this this intimate, honest confession, because that’s how they make each other feel, they make each other laugh. and he likes it. he doesn’t have a word for it yet, but he knows the feeling’s good. they’re good. you don’t always need to say i love you. sometimes making them laugh is better. when the night is dark and heavy, sometimes laughter is the only way out.

so that’s the i love you of a boy who is young and learning and figuring things out.

i was there to meet you, on the other hand. it should be this dramatic moment, a plot twist, a huge revelation, a guarded secret that Even has kept inside all this time, finally ready to let it unravel. and yet it’s anything but. it’s a nonchalant statement, it’s a how was school we’re running out of toilet paper it’s pretty windy today by the way i was there to meet you. Even’s kept it a secret for so long because it’s not a secret. he says it like he’s stating the obvious, because to him it is the most obvious thing, nothing has ever been more clear to him. the possibility of him having been there for any other reason is nonexistent, and it’s ridiculous that anyone would think otherwise, especially Isak. but i saw you on the first day of school is different. it’s more quiet, half a whisper. Even becomes gentle and pensive, like he remembers something, remembers that first day of school. because this is the part that is not obvious to him. this part where he is lying in bed with the boy he saw on the very first day of school, wearing his clothes, wearing his smell, wearing his kindness and his patience and his understanding. this the part that is maybe a dream.

and my favourite part? it’s Isak’s little ‘oh’. that’s literally all he says. he doesn’t ask Even to elaborate, doesn’t ask any questions, where exactly did you see me, what was i doing, what did you think, what, when, why why why. just oh. and then he smiles. because he believes it. he accepts it. two weeks ago he was ready to believe that everything was a lie because what would someone like Even ever see in a boy like him. now he knows better. he believes it, he accepts it, and he relishes it. and then they smile at each other, because that’s how they make each other feel. they make each other laugh and smile. and it’s good. whatever this is, it’s good. it’s good, yeah.

anonymous asked:

I'm not trying to come off as rude, but how is lance smarter than keith? Because impulse and intellect are two different things, so if your arguement is that Keith is more impulsive than Lance, meaning Lance is smarter, it is an invalid arguement.

I don’t take it as rude at all anon, don’t worry! And you also aren’t the first person I’ve met to wonder why I believe Lance is the smarter of the two either, so let me break it down:

“ if your argument is that Keith is more impulsive than Lance, meaning Lance is smarter, it is an invalid argument.” 

I agree 110%. I am also a firm believer that this doesn’t count because being rash or impulsive has NOTHING to do with intellect. So don’t worry, that isn’t my argument at all ^^

My arguments below the cut:

Keep reading

sometimes I think about bisexual Harry Potter, and about how it could have changed so much of the story, and right now I’m thinking about how it could have related to Dudley

like, when Dudley laughs and sneers at him at the beginning of OotP. “Who’s Cedric? Your boyfriend?” Dudley asks Harry with an ugly grin on his face.

And Harry breaks down and cries, because yes, Cedric was his boyfriend, and now he’s dead. Dudley just stares at him, pale with shock. Harry has never cried like this in front of him, not once in all these years. Harry always has a witty come-back, thinks he’s so bloody smart, and this is something Dudley can’t deal with.

And then the Dementors come, and it makes Dudley see the kind of person he is. Harry protects them, and even though Dudley can’t see the dementors, he somehow knows that it wasn’t Harry who did this.

Harry of course expects that Dudley uses this new knowledge of Harry against him - he packs his bags, waiting patiently to be kicked out as soon as Dudley tells his parents they got a raging queer living under their roof - but nothing happens. 

In the next few days, Dudley is quiet and withdrawn. Harry thinks it’s because the dementors scared the crap out of him, and he’s glad, because Dudley’s friends are never there anymore, and Dudley seems to be too lost in thought to be violent.

The night before Harry gets picked up by the Order, Dudley walks into Harry’s room unannounced and completely startles Harry. This never happens. Dudley looks pale, even scared. Everything about this is so absurd that Harry forgets to put his guard up like he usually does around Dudley. He watches his cousin closely as Dudley sits down uncomfortably on Harry’s chair, his eyes nervously darting around the room.

“When did you know?” Dudley asks eventually. It’s obviously tormenting for him to say it.

Harry is confused. “What do you mean?”

Dudley looks like he might choke on his tongue, trying to get the words out. “That you’re - you’re -”

Keep reading

It’s not that he doesn’t love Lydia. Of course he loves Lydia. He’s always loved her; been infatuated with her; fascinated with the idea of her. That never really went away. It just changed; grew deeper and more complex with everything that they had experienced.

It’s just that after she drives him to college and leaves him with a lingering kiss and a promise that she’d see him soon, things feel different.

So much has happened since that night he dragged Scott into the woods to look for the body of Laura Hale. So much has happened that he doesn’t really feel like he fits into his own life. He tries to ignore it; to pretend that everything is okay; but after the Ghost Riders, he realises he can’t pretend anymore.

It might be the fact that he was stuck waiting in the train station with Peter Hale but he’s been thinking about Derek. He’s been thinking about Derek a lot, thinking that if anyone understands what it’s like to feel like you don’t fit into your own life, it would be Derek.

One night, after a few too many beers, he texts Derek. He doesn’t expect a response, sure that Derek has changed his number many, many times since he left Beacon Hills without so much as a goodbye. Hell, who knows if Derek even has a phone anymore? It’s not like he was good at texting even when he had some semblance of a pack, of people that maybe, sort of cared about him.

I don’t feel like I’m me anymore. Feels like I’m trying really hard to be the same but it just seems hollow.

He doesn’t get a response but it doesn’t really bother him. He wasn’t expecting one anyway. He’s stopped expecting things from people. He’s stopped expecting a lot of things. That voice in the back of his head tells him that he stopped expecting things from Derek when he left without saying goodbye, like hours in a pool meant absolutely nothing, like Stiles meant absolutely nothing.

So yeah, he wasn’t expecting a reply. He just wanted to say the words.




After that, it kind of becomes a thing.

It doesn’t happen all the time. During the day, Stiles manages just fine. He has classes and assignments and even a couple of tentative friends who he’ll grab a coffee with every now and then.

It’s a different story at night though. He tosses and turns for hours, terrified that if he falls asleep, he’ll disappear again and that no one will bring him back. Those endless days in the train station plague his thoughts and he just can’t seem to escape them. It feels like he’s running through those tunnels again, only to end up exactly where he started.

So he tells Derek everything. He pours out the whole story, explains the terror he felt when he knew that he would be taken; when people looked him dead in the eye and had no idea who he was. He explains the frustration he felt when Peter was the only one he could rely on; the bitter disappointment when Peter left and he was all alone. He tells Derek everything and it feels like he’s standing on the edge of a cliff, just screaming into the empty nothingness. The words are out there and even if Derek never replies, it’s better to have written them than to have done nothing. It’s ever so slightly relieved the feeling of slowly choking on the terror.

He ends his text message like this: sometimes I think I’ll disappear again and no one will come looking.

And then his phone beeps.

I would.

That’s it. Two words and Stiles feels like he can breathe again. Someone would come looking for him.

It’s not like those two words opened a floodgate of communication but Derek does occasionally reply.

When I do sleep, I see Allison dying. I wonder if Scott blames me. I blame me.

If I had been a better Alpha, Erica and Boyd would have stayed. No one blamed me for that, just like no one blames you for Allison.

Do you think I’ll ever stop blaming myself?

I’m not the right person to ask about blame.

 



Found handcuffs in my roommate’s closet. Think he uses them for community safety on full moons or he’s just really into 50 Shades of Grey?

Stiles, it’s far more likely that your roommate is an aspiring Mr. Grey than a werewolf. Put them back where you found them. It’s rude to snoop.

Omfg I can’t believe you know what 50 Shades of Grey is!

Everyone knows what 50 Shades of Grey is.

You aren’t everyone though! I didn’t know that you read books. Or watched movies. Or had any knowledge of pop culture.

Derek doesn’t text back. Instead, he gets sent a photo of a bookshelf. It’s so full that Stiles is genuinely impressed; it doesn’t look like even one more title could be added to that collection. He doesn’t know why but he finds himself feeling kind of sad that he didn’t know this about Derek whilst he was living in Beacon Hills. Stiles tries not to dwell on the feeling but he knows himself well enough to know that he’s feeling guilty.

He knows what it’s like to wonder if anyone would care enough to come looking if he disappeared. He imagines that’s how Derek felt after his family died and Stiles didn’t do anything to make him think otherwise.  

He doesn’t text back.



It’s the night of the full moon and Stiles feels strange, like something is missing. He was invited to a party or two but declined, pretending that he had an assignment he really needed to finish. He’s weeks ahead of his course work but he doesn’t want to go out tonight. He knows his friends back in Beacon Hills are going to be okay without him; knows that it’s a good thing that he hasn’t heard from them; but it stings a little.

He doesn’t like feeling so replaceable.

He sends Lydia a text message, asking how everything is going. He doesn’t want them to be in danger; doesn’t want them to struggle without him; but it would be nice if they noticed his absence. He’s hoping that Lydia will tell him that they’re okay but that they miss him.

She doesn’t reply straight away and he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He can see the moon out of his dorm room window. He snaps a picture and sends it to Derek without thinking. Never thought I’d miss chaining Scott to a radiator, he captions the photo. He thinks he means for it to be a joke but even to his own eyes, the words seem flat on his screen. He sends them anyway. It’s not like he’s been censoring himself recently, not around Derek anyway.

On my first full moon alone, I howled at the moon, hoping that someone would answer. It’s lonely without pack.

I’m not really pack though, he responds. It’s easier than acknowledging the fact that Derek’s family burned to death in their family home; that crazy Uncle Peter tore his sister into pieces; that his only remaining family are either certifiably insane or residing with a pack in South America.

It’s okay to miss being needed.

I don’t know if they ever really needed me.

Derek texts back a photo of a pool.

A quick internet search confirms that it’s just a stock photo from Google but his heart races anyway. He remembers diving into the pool and holding Derek afloat; how terrified he had been that they would both drown; that his dad would find his body and drink himself into an early grave.

He hadn’t cared about Derek then, not really, not the way he cared about him now. He had held Derek afloat because it was the right thing to do and because he was selfish. He knew that if he and his friends had any chance of surviving this, they would need Derek.

Near death experiences don’t count as being needed.

This time Derek is the one who doesn’t reply. It’s fair enough, really. Stiles wouldn’t really know what to say to that either.



When he wakes up in the morning, he has three unread messages.

Lydia tells him that all is well in Beacon Hills and tells him to check his email because she’s edited his latest essay. He tells Lydia thanks and tries to ignore the flicker of disappointment in his chest.

It counts as being needed. You weren’t just kept around because you were better than nothing. You’re an asset, Stiles. You’re smart, yet somehow stupid enough to throw yourself into danger without thinking twice. Underneath that unrelenting sarcasm and attitude, you care a hell of a lot. If it wasn’t for Scott, his attitude towards me and some of his questionable decisions, I’d have asked you to join my pack.

A second message, sent about an hour later, reads tell anyone and I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth.

He can’t help but laugh.



Lydia asks Stiles if he’s coming back to Beacon Hills for break. It had always been his plan to spend break at home, to fall back into things like he had never really left. He goes to reply, to tell Lydia that he’ll leave after his last classon Thursday, but he finds himself lying.

Sorry Lydia, totally broke. Can’t afford flights and I don’t think the Jeep would survive the drive. Maybe you could come here instead?

I can’t. It’s all hands on deck here.

She doesn’t elaborate. More noticeably, she doesn’t offer any financial assistance. Whilst he would turn it down, the Martins are one of the richest families in Beacon Hills and Lydia is generous with her money. If she cares about someone, she shows it with material gestures. He hasn’t seen Lydia in months; since she drove up to college with him. Shouldn’t she want to see him? Shouldn’t he be moving mountains to see her? This is Lydia, after all. He’s been in love with her for as long as he can remember.

All he knows is that something doesn’t feel right here. There’s a gentle hum of disappointment under his skin but when he examines it, he finds that it seems to be related to the fact that he didn’t know Beacon Hills was facing another threat. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the fact that he’s not going to be seeing Lydia this break. He doesn’t know much about relationships but he knows that she’s supposed to offer and he’s supposed to care.

His fingers hover uncertainly over his phone, not quite sure what to say. He can’t actually remember the last time he properly spoke to Lydia. They text a few times a week, when he has time between class and she’s not busy with pack business. He scrolls back through the conversation and he’s struck by how superficial it seems. He can’t even remember the last time that they spoke on the phone. They agreed to have weekly Face Time calls but after their plans fell through three times in a row, they stopped making arrangements.

In the end, he sends back a simple good luck. He needs more time to analyse before he says anything more.



He manages to fall asleep before 3am, which is no small feat these days. He dreams of his mum, of her body on the kitchen floor and his tears marking her face as he cries down the phone, begging for an ambulance. He dreams of her body on a cool metal table in the morgue, of his father having to identify the body because his mum was sick and Stiles couldn’t get the ambulance quick enough to save her.

He dreams of Peter offering him the bite but this time he accepts it, sick and tired of being the weak, defenseless human. He can feel the pain, can feel fire coursing through his veins, and he knows that the bite isn’t taking. He isn’t strong enough to survive the bite so he’s going to die, all alone on the cold, hard concrete.

He dreams of the pool, of Derek growing heavier and heavier. “It’s okay”, Derek whispers, as Stiles has no choice but to let go. He watches Derek’s paralysed body sinking to the bottom of the pool, his lungs burning as they fill with water, and he cannot do anything.

He sees Erica standing on his front porch, smiling at him. He relaxes. Maybe this is a nice dream. Erica is alive and happy, which is how things should be. He tentatively smiles back, lifts a hand in greeting. Her smile grows wider, showing bloody teeth, and he reels back. Blood keeps dripping, gushing out of her mouth, until she keels over on his welcome mat. He doubles over and vomits on his front lawn.

He dreams of Gerard. He manages to get free, trips as he tries to run up the stairs and escape the basement. Gerald just laughs as he slowly walks up the stairs and takes hold of his leg. He screams as Gerard drags him back down the stairs, knowing exactly what fate awaits him there.

He dreams of motel car parks and road flares, of Scott going up in flames because Stiles isn’t enough to save him; because Stiles has never been enough. He says all the right words but Scott just scoffs and tells him that he wishes he had never met him, that his life would have been so much better without Stiles, that it was Stiles’ fault they were in the woods that night. Scott tells him that everything has always been his fault, then drops the road flare and the whole car park burns a fierce red.

He dreams of the Nogitsune, of the darkness. He pushes the blade into Allison’s stomach, hears Lydia’s screams reverberating off the tunnel walls. He wants to take it back, to do something, to save the girl his best friend loved; to save the girl he once considered a friend. He can’t do anything though; he’s not strong enough to fight the darkness.

He dreams of the Ghost Riders, of endless days and nights waiting for someone to remember him, of thinking that maybe it would be better for everyone if he didn’t come back. Easier, maybe. He dreams that he comes back and his dad’s face contorts into something unrecognisable, twisted by anger and grief; the regret of choosing to remember his son at the cost of losing his wife all over again.

He awakes suddenly, covered in sweat and gasping for air. He doesn’t think, just grabs his phone and dials the only person he thinks will understand.


It doesn’t matter that it’s nearly 4am. Derek answers the phone after the second ring and god, Stiles has missed his voice. He didn’t realise just how much until he hears it again.

“Stiles?”

Months ago, Derek texted I would and Stiles felt like he could breathe again. Now, Derek has said his name and he feels grounded again, like his feet are back on the ground.

“Bad dream”, he answers. “Sorry for waking you”. He knows Derek wasn’t asleep but it’s the polite thing to say.

Derek doesn’t say anything. Years ago, back when they first met, Stiles interpreted the silence as frustration, like Derek was purposely not fulfilling his role in the conversation so that Stiles would get the hint and shut up. After a while, Stiles started to think that Derek was silent because he was socially awkward and just didn’t really know how to participate in a conversation. After all, he had been alone for a long time.

Derek’s silence seems different now, though, like he’s giving Stiles a chance to process his thoughts and decide where he needs to begin.

“Why did you leave without saying goodbye?” he asks, acknowledging for the first time that he was bothered by it.

“I didn’t think anyone would really care”, Derek says, like it’s that simple. In Derek’s eyes, it probably was that simple.

“I did”. He pauses and the silence stretches between them for a few more seconds as Derek allows Stiles to collect his thoughts. “I was the one who realised you were gone. I went to the loft after school and the place was empty. I don’t have werewolf senses so I couldn’t just track you down… I drove around for hours looking for you. I was fucking terrified that you had been taken by someone or something but then I found Peter at that stupid abandoned train cart you used to live in. He told me that you had gone and that you didn’t want to be found. That fucking stung, by the way. You said goodbye to Peter but not to me”.

“He’s family”. Again, his words are spoken like it’s just that simple.

“Blood isn’t always thicker than water, Derek! Peter is a fucking lunatic, alright? He killed Laura! That’s unforgivable! I know I’m just some stupid, spastic teenager and that you’d happily rip my throat out with your teeth if it wouldn’t stain your upholstery but I deserved a fucking goodbye”.

It’s not until he says the words aloud that he realises how angry he is. He cares about Derek. He has done for a long time now. He trusts Derek in a way that he doesn’t trust anyone else and that’s not a recent thing. The reason he feels comfortable enough texting Derek all his deepest, darkest thoughts isn’t just because he thinks Derek will understand. It’s because he trusts Derek. Quiet, angry, hurting Derek who proved himself time and time again; who proved that despite all his faults, he would show up when it counted; would save and protect Stiles no matter what. He thought that maybe, just maybe, Derek trusted him too; that maybe Derek cared just a little bit; but then he left without so much as a goodbye or a forwarding address.

Stiles doesn’t know what else to say so he hangs up.

I should have said goodbye.

I wanted to but I wasn’t sure you would care.

Actually, that’s a lie. I think I knew that you, out of all people, would understand why I was leaving. I think I was just trying to avoid an honest conversation that I wasn’t ready for.

I’m sorry.

Thank you.



He doesn’t text Derek for about a week. He tells himself that it’s because he needs to invest more time into his studies and into his relationship with Lydia but he knows that’s a lie borne out of self-preservation.

In all honesty, he’s scared.

He hasn’t been scared of Derek for a long time. He’s been scared for Derek and whilst around Derek, both of which are common feelings considering Derek seems to have an annoyingly persistent habit of getting into life threatening danger.

He’s scared now though because Derek can be awfully perceptive when he wants to be. Derek also happens to understand him more than most other people these days, which is why Stiles has been messaging him in the first place. If Derek was really listening – and Stiles thinks that he was – then he’s revealed just a little bit too much about his feelings.

Stiles has always found Derek attractive. Even when Derek was threatening to rip his throat out or pushing his head into a steering wheel, he’s been very aware that Derek is more attractive than most people in Beacon Hills combined. Stiles has eyes after all. He’s sure that Derek is aware of it; that he’s smelt the arousal that seems to follow Stiles everywhere he goes, particularly where Derek is involved. Derek, to his credit, has politely ignored the attraction rather than acknowledging it and causing never ending humiliation.

Somewhere along the way, things shifted. The more time Stiles spent around Derek, the more he realised that Derek wasn’t just a pretty face. He had been through hell and somehow still survived but it was more than that. Weaker men would have crumbled if they had gone through half as much pain as Derek but he came through it all and somehow, he still cared about people. He turned Isaac, Erica and Boyd because he was lonely but also because he thought he was giving them a better life. He showed up, time and time again, even when he didn’t have to. Even though he said that he didn’t, he knew that Derek trusted him. Derek’s actions spoke far louder than his words and somewhere along the way, Stiles had proven himself to Derek. The threats and the violence had been replaced with an understanding that they had each other’s backs.

When he went to Derek’s apartment and found it empty, he had realised. Things had just clicked into place and he knew that his physical attraction to Derek had grown into something deeper and stronger. It was a secret that Stiles had intended to take to his grave. He had shoved it into the far corners of his mind and pretended that he wasn’t bothered by Derek’s absence; he had dated Malia and then Lydia and acted like everything was fine.

He had never talked about it so when those words tumbled out of his mouth, the anger and the frustration and the hurt feelings were still so fresh. Derek is smart enough to put the pieces together and realise that there’s something more there, at least on Stiles’ end.

So yeah, he’s scared. He’s not scared that Derek won’t reciprocate his feelings because he already knows that Derek doesn’t feel the same. He’s terrified that he’ll lose Derek completely and he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to handle it.

It’s pathetic but he’s felt more human over the last few months than he has since Derek left. He isn’t ready to lose that.





He and Lydia break up during the week that he’s ignoring Derek.

They manage to have a Face Time conversation and about three minutes in, she tells him he looks like complete crap. He tells her that he’s struggling with the distance, that after everything, he just isn’t ready to come back to Beacon Hills and she’s far too valuable to travel to him and leave the town unprotected.

Lydia doesn’t even look surprised and she’s polite enough not to call him on his bullshit.

“It’s better that we end it now. I’ve received an early acceptance to the University of Cambridge so in the near future, we’ll be on different continents”, she says in agreement.

There’s a lot left unsaid. They’re both aware that Stiles is no longer the same person he was in third grade, when he decided that he was going to be in love with Lydia Martin forever. They’ve both lost people and gone through more trauma than most people see in a lifetime. Rather than growing together, they grew apart. Stiles knows that a lot of the responsibility for that rests on his shoulders; that he should have worked through his issues with Lydia, that he should have trusted her with the burden he was carrying.

He was just so in love with the idea of Lydia; so desperate to have the perfect relationship that he had been dreaming of for years that he refused to share his darkness out of fear that it would taint everything.

He ignores the voice telling him that Derek Hale has already seen him at his worst and seems to tolerate him regardless.




For someone who once thought that Lydia Martin shined brighter than the sun, he’s remarkably okay with their breakup.

Scott texts him for the first time in weeks, a simple

heard the news. Hope you’re okay.

He replies with a smiley face. He doesn’t think there’s much else to say. He and Scott will always be brothers but they’re living different lives now.

After a particularly sleepless night, he texts Derek. He figures that if Derek was going to make a scene over Stiles’ little crush, he would have done it already.

Would your arm have grown back?

Do you think about that a lot?

I’ve done a lot of research and can’t seem to find the answer.                       

We aren’t related to starfish. I’m 99% sure I’d have ended up with a stump.



He gets to know Derek a lot better over text.

Breaking Bad or Walking Dead?

Is that even a question, bitch?

Summer or winter?

Winter. I remember learning how to snowboard when I was younger. My family had a lodge.

Favourite Harry Potter character?

George Weasley or Sirius Black. Ten minutes later, his iPhone indicates that Derek is still typing a message. It’s worth the wait when Derek practically sends an essay about why he likes each character. That leads to a three hour phone call about why Severus Snape is a bad person. Stiles falls asleep while Derek is ranting about the scene in the movie where Severus steps over James Potter’s dead body to see Lily.

The fact that Derek’s a secret Harry Potter fanatic makes him way happier than he should be.



Late at night, their text messages grow more serious.

Worst relationship?

I don’t think I’ve had any truly terrible relationships. I haven’t really been heartbroken or betrayed. I think I’ve been a bad boyfriend though. Both Lydia and Malia deserve better.

You weren’t heartbroken over Lydia?

Not really. I was more in love with the idea of her.

That’s how I feel about Kate.

He doesn’t reply; chooses to call Derek instead. It’s 2am and for the first time ever, Derek tells another person what happened with Kate Argent. Stiles had put most of the pieces together a long time ago but hearing Derek tell the story is the most horrific thing Stiles has ever heard. The police reports had noted that Derek, Laura and Peter were the only survivors; that Derek’s mother and father, his grandmother, three younger siblings, and four cousins of various ages had all perished in the fire.

Derek’s voice doesn’t waver as he tells Stiles that Kate had seduced him; that he had told Kate all about his family; that he had mentioned a family gathering that he wanted her to attend. He tells Stiles that he came home from lacrosse practice to see his family home burning to the ground.

Stiles only utters four words that night but repeats them like a mantra until Derek’s breathing evens out and he drifts off to sleep.

It wasn’t your fault.



Did you love Jennifer?

No. I think I could have in time but we both know how that ended.

Why did you believe me when I told you she was evil?

Because it’s you. You’re one of the only people that hasn’t lied to me. That earned you a little bit of faith.

Did you love Brayden?

No. I think I wanted to show the world that I had survived Kate and Jennifer and didn’t have any emotional wounds. I think most people would call that a rebound relationship.

Do you think you could fall in love again?

Stiles waits for an excruciating seven minutes before Derek replies.

Yes.

 



I tried to tell my dad that I was bisexual once. I think he thought I was joking.

I never got to tell any of my family that I’m bisexual. After the fire, Laura and I moved to New York. I wanted to tell her but I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t find the words about Kate either. I like to think that she knew anyway and loved me regardless.

I’m sorry I accused you of her murder. That was really fucked up.


I was never really going to rip out your throat with my teeth.

I know.

It was easier to just be angrier all the time. Anger is easier to manage than grief.

Was easier? Are you not angry anymore?

I’m still angry but it’s not the only thing I feel anymore. These messages help. So does therapy.

Derek Hale in therapy? I never thought I’d see the day! In all seriousness, I’ve thought about therapy a lot. I went after my mum died and it helped a little bit. I just don’t know where I’d find a therapist who knows about the supernatural.

Derek texts him a phone number for a counsellor about fifteen minutes off campus. He doesn’t ask Derek how he knew what college he was at.



Peter offered me the bite once.

I didn’t know. I’m glad you didn’t take it?

Because I’d be a terrible werewolf?

Because no one should be connected to Peter in that way. I think you’d make an excellent werewolf. Far better than Scott.

 



Have you seen the latest episode of Game of Thrones?

He calls Derek and they talk for hours. He almost hangs up the phone when Derek tells him that he doesn’t understand the appeal of Jon Snow but he likes the sound of Derek’s voice far too much.



On April 8th, he gets sent a photo of a cheesy card wishing him many happy returns.

Happy 18th birthday, Stiles.

He sends Derek a photo of his face with his widest grin. He didn’t even know that Derek knew his birthday.

When’s your birthday?

11th July.

And how old are you going to be? I vaguely remember starting at Beacon Hills high as you were getting to graduate but then when we saw you in the woods, you looked like you were 80.

I’m only four years older than you, Stiles. I’ll be turning 22 but I haven’t celebrated in years.

But if someone wanted to hypothetically post you a card and a present, where would they send it?

Derek sends him an address in New York City. Stiles doesn’t need to ask; he instinctively knows that this is the apartment that Derek and Laura lived in before her death.



Do you think you’ll ever go back to Beacon Hills?

Not unless it’s an emergency. I was supposed to go back with Laura when we heard about the killings in our territory but I told her that I wasn’t ready. I made her go alone.

It wasn’t your fault.



Stiles can’t sleep. He Face Times Derek and pesters him until he finally agrees to start watching Parks and Recreation.

Stiles has the same episode playing on his laptop but he finds himself paying more attention to Derek’s face than the episode. He’s never seen Derek laugh before and the sight of him chuckling is mesmerizing.

It becomes a regular thing. Derek watches something on Netflix; Stiles watches Derek.



I hope you fall in love with someone who loves you as much as I do.

Stiles should not be allowed access to his phone while under the influence of alcohol. He texts Derek that exact sentiment the next morning but Derek doesn’t respond.



He doesn’t hear from Derek again.



I’m really sorry, Derek.

I shouldn’t have made things awkward between us.

Your friendship is more than enough, I swear. I’m not going to push for something that you don’t want.

 



None of his messages elicit a reply and god, it hurts like a fucking bitch. He thinks he finally knows what it’s like to have a broken heart.


He receives a text from Lydia.

A little bird told me that Derek Hale is currently moping in New York City.

Peter?

Cora.

I didn’t realise you were in contact with Cora. Hell, I didn’t realise that Cora was in contact with Derek.

Of course I’m in contact with Cora. She’s a useful contact. As for her contact with Derek, that’s only a recent development. Their pack bond still exists in some form; she reached out when she realised that something didn’t feel right.

What am I supposed to do about Derek moping? It’s kind of his thing.

Check your email.

There’s an email from Lydia. It’s a forward from a travel agent, confirming that a flight for a Mr. M. Stilinski has been booked for this Saturday.

He doesn’t know what to say. It turns out he was right about Lydia Martin – when she cares about someone, she shows it in materialistic gestures. This might be the greatest gesture that she’s ever done.



Stiles can barely sit still during the flight to New York City. He’s terrified that Derek will slam the door in his face but he knows that if he doesn’t try, he’ll regret it.

The cab ride to Derek’s apartment takes an eternity. He almost forgets to grab his bag in his rush to get out of the cab and forces himself to take a deep breath; to slow down just a little.

He mentions to get into the building without buzzing, darting through an open door as one of the tenants leave the building. Before he got on the flight, Lydia had texted him the apartment number, and his hands shake as he knocks on the door.

“Stiles?” Derek’s voice sounds even better in person. “What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t reply to my texts”, he says like it’s just that simple. In his eyes, it is.

It seems like it might be just that simple to Derek too because he grabs him and pulls him close. Before Stiles can protest about being manhandled, Derek’s lips are against his and the words die on his tongue.



“Why didn’t you reply?” he asks a few hours later. He and Derek had eventually made it to the bedroom and it was everything Stiles had imagined and more. It was worth forgoing the conversation but Stiles couldn’t ignore the obvious for much longer.

“I panicked. Over text, it was easy. I could say whatever I wanted and not worry about the repercussions. The thought of it becoming something more was terrifying, Stiles. You know my relationship history”.

“And you know that I’m not like any of them”.

Derek nods in agreement. “You’re not like them. You’re more than them. You already mean more. I wanted to be in a better place before giving this a chance”.

“That’s why you’re in therapy?”

“Yeah. I’ve been considering it for a long time but that night when you yelled at me for leaving without goodbye was the final push I needed”, Derek explains. “I’m still not completely there. There are still things we need to talk about and things that will require a lot more therapy but I’m in a place to give this a chance, if you still want to”.

“If I hadn’t have shown up on your doorstep, what would have happened?”

Wordlessly, Derek passed Stiles his phone. The draft messages are illuminated on the screen and Stiles scrolls through them. There’s countless messages, dating back at least two weeks, and they’re all different versions of an apology; of an explanation. Even if Stiles hadn’t shown up on his doorstep; Derek was trying. Derek has proven himself time and time again; Stiles knows that he would eventually have sent a message explaining everything.

“I still love you and I’m all in”.



Stiles calls the university the next morning and defers his enrolment.

University can wait. Right now, he and Derek have a lot to work through, both individually and together. Stiles hopes that if things go well, he can transfer his studies to a university in the city. Based on the course catalogues he finds in Derek’s study, he thinks that they’re on the same page.




He has seven missed calls from Scott and twelve text messages, all urging him to come back to Beacon Hills.

There are three messages from Malia, stating that he needs to get his ass into gear and help them out.

There’s even a text from Lydia, saying that she wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t serious.

He looks over at Derek, who looks more relaxed and happy than he has in a long time. “Shit’s going down in Beacon Hills. They need me to save their asses”. He wants Derek to come with him but doesn’t want to ask; doesn’t want to be responsible for Derek’s shoulders growing tense as he heads back to the town that took everything from him. “I shouldn’t be gone for more than a week”, he says as he’s packing a duffel bag and throwing it into the back of Derek’s Camaro.  

“That’s what Laura said”.

There is no other explanation; nothing else that needs to be said. A second duffel bag is tossed into the back of the Camaro and Derek gets into the passenger seat like he belongs there.

Turns out he didn’t need to ask. Maybe Derek needs him just as much as he needs Derek. After all this time, it’s a nice thought. It helps keep the darkness at bay; helps Stiles feel just a little more grounded than he has done in a long time.




“You didn’t think you were doing this without me?”

“Without us?”

Yeah, it feels pretty damn good that they’re an ‘us’ now.

A Writer’s PSA

Firstly: I just saw an interesting post made by @caplanbuckybarnes (who I can’t tag, but that’s okay), that inspired both anger and relief in me at once. I was compelled to type out this PSA.

Secondly: I am tagging everyone who has asked to be tagged in The Irrelevance of Napoli SO YOU CAN SEE HOW GODDAMN AWESOME THEY ARE BEFORE I START THIS. 

@thecrownedrose @persephone-is-here-omg @find-me-here2 @captainamerotica @redgillan @angryschnauzer @ursulaismymiddlename @rebelslicious @kittykitty-mewmeww @erisjade @siren-kitten-his @buckyappreciationsociety @kozmicrock @aingealcethlenn @rachelle-on-the-run @thewinterswimmer @vaisabu @inside-lizzys-head @angryschnauzer @melconnor2007 

Thirdly: I am doing this more for the sake of my upcoming fic, Cherchez la Femme, which I have been working on for MONTHS–probably since Septemberish–than I am for Napoli. Also doing this for the sake of other authors who may feel this way, but don’t want to say anything for fear of making people mad. I personally am tired of dealing with my own anxiety about this subject, so I’m getting this off my chest. 

Okay.

 I am exceedingly frustrated by the majority of attitudes (or non attitudes) I see towards anything that is not a one-shot on here. ESPECIALLY if it’s smut.

I like smut. I love smut. I’ve read some really good smut on here. But… that’s not all I’ve read on here. When I first got on Tumblr, I found some really unique and interesting fics, and I got very invested in them. But lately, the majority of what I’ve been seeing on this site is the same damn thing, over and over and over again. Smut one shots, no plot, no character development, no nothing. Those fics I was invested in were discontinued (temporarily, I hope) in favor of smut one shots, which, like I said, I don’t mind, but ya know… I also do.

Authors are capable of writing more than smut one shots. 

Authors are capable of writing more than smut one shots. And many of them do write more than smut one shots. But I have seen two (2) of the multi-part fics I follow being seriously reblogged. That’s out of A LOT that I happen to read and like. One of my favorites got put on hiatus because there were no reads on the most recent chapter at the time.

Tumblr, seriously, what is going on? Like, I recognize that we all want to imagine ourselves having sex with some version of Sebastian Stan (ME TOO, I AM NOT EXCLUDING MYSELF FROM THAT GROUP) but some of these people have worked ages, ages on these fics. With well-developed characters and plot and settings and serious issues that are worked through. THESE PEOPLE I READ SHOULD WRITE ORIGINAL CONTENT AND GET PUBLISHED. In my world, they would. Because they are that good.

And yet, they get almost no recognition. And it frustrates me, and scares me, and makes me really, really sad. Some might say, “Tumblr is more (something else) than fanfic for me”–which is fine. Please engage in whatever joy may have brought you to Tumblr. But also remember that for others, it IS about fanfic, and they enjoy doing that just as much as you enjoy doing whatever you do. So hit the like button every once in a while. Read more fics of your favorite characters. Some might say, “I have –something that gives me a shorter attention span–, I can’t remember what happened before this chapter/can’t concentrate enough to get through a whole fic in the time I have”–in which case, you are fine, don’t worry about it, not a big deal. Some of you may say, “Works in progress are annoying, I hate waiting for new parts to come out”–and trust me, I’m right there with you. I’m waiting on a few new parts for fics myself (I’m also waiting for Diana Gabaldon’s next Outlander book, goddammit), but that doesn’t stop me from reading and commenting on the parts that are there! Tell the author that you have something to look forward to until the next part comes out! Also, TELL THE AUTHOR IF YOU ARE WAITING FOR THEM TO COMPLETE IT, or ask to be tagged in the final masterlist! We won’t mind if you do it that way! Some of you may just hate longer fics and there’s nothing anybody can do to change that. In which case, whatever floats your boat.

I’m not getting on anyone in the above paragraph to suddenly change your preferences and start reading fics with more than two parts. What I am saying, though, is if you consume, but don’t comment AND reblog (or at least tag and reblog), or if you don’t consume at all and blatantly ignore what authors are putting out there… come on, guys. We put our heart and souls into this stuff. Some of the stuff we write is taken from real life. Some people don’t have anything but their writing to help them get through what may be a really bad stage. Likes, comments, reblogs–writers need these. We don’t all have to be JK Rowling here, but we do hope to see that someone smiles or laughs, or cries, or feels in some way with our fics. 

One of my friends on here was very sad a couple of days ago because she was getting very few notes on even her one-shots, or reblogs with no comments. She has 700+ followers and a taglist that’s a mile long. It made me sad for her, and I can’t even hug her because she lives far away from me. Readers, you don’t have to comment or reblog every chapter of a fic that’s been written, it’s really okay if you don’t, but let the reader know that you like it and acknowledge the work that’s been done. 

I’m still relatively tiny on here, and I definitely need to follow more blogs, so I will now go looking. But, indulge me for a second: If, when I publish Cherchez, I deem it as not getting enough notes, I will make a goddamn video of myself deleting the thing off my computer and burning the damn notebooks. I started by writing this stuff for me. Napoli ended up being about someone I know who recently died. Cherchez was what I wrote when I was coming out of a breakdown. So yes, I write for myself. But as soon as I put it up here, it becomes yours. You consume it, you feel because of it. So really, guys, read all the smut you want. I know I’m going to. But read more than smut, too.

Sincerely,

Someone who is a teeny bit oversmutted

(If you want to, you can check my tags for more info)

inimitablebiscuit  asked:

Erm Flintwood please if you're still doing 150. * Winning smile *

pairing: marcus flint x oliver wood

setting: modern, non-magical, soulmates-at-first-touch au

word count: 1394


Marcus punches his soulmate in the face the first time they meet.

Wait.

No.  

It’s worse than that.

Marcus punches his soulmate in the face the first time they meet, the flats of his knuckles crunching against the guy’s jaw, hard enough to draw blood and leave a mark and hurt—and then there’s a strange fluttering sensation erupting in the pit of Marcus’s stomach, a comforting, calming warmth suffusing the blood in his veins and the marrow in his bones and it’s exactly like how they’d described it in Health class, the awareness—the connection—slotting into place so seamlessly that he’s astonished he’d never noticed something missing before now.  

“Oh, fuck,” Marcus blurts out. “Oh—fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Marcus’s soulmate—who’s tall and lean and has the prettiest brown eyes, what the shit—is just sprawled out on the dirty arena floor, blinking and blinking and prodding gingerly at the bruise that’s already beginning to blossom—

“No,” the guy says firmly. “This isn’t happening.”

“Fuck you,” Marcus immediately snaps. “I rejected you first.”

The guy snorts, kind of irritatingly sarcastic, before grimacing. His emotions, so far as Marcus can tell, are all over the place; shock and dismay and frustration and—very, very deeply—a flickering, almost unwilling tremor of interest.  

“It wouldn’t work, anyway,” the guy goes on, more loudly. “You have terrible opinions about hockey.”

“Fuck you,” Marcus snaps again. “You’re the one in the shitty jersey.”

“He’s won three Cups.”

“Yeah, and he was a fucking healthy scratch for two of them,” Marcus retorts. “Try again.”

“Hockey is a team sport,” the guy says hotly. “It isn't—it isn’t about individual accomplishments.”

Marcus rolls his eyes. “Sure, whatever,” he drawls, “but your shitty jersey is still shitty.”

The guy’s mouth falls open, and Marcus can feel the sour note of his indignation—the jagged spike of his outrage—as clearly as if it were his own. “Jesus fucking Christ,” the guy sputters, shaking his head like he’s got a nervous tic. “What are you so—what are you so angry about?”

Marcus raises his eyebrows. “Um,” he says slowly, because, really, what the shit, “I’m not angry. I’m confused.”

“No.” The guy frowns. “You’re definitely angry. I feel it, like—” He gestures vaguely to his chest and upper abdomen. “Right there. Like heartburn.”

Marcus’s nostrils flare, and he scratches viciously at the side of his neck to distract himself from the fact that this complete fucking stranger with boy band hair and, and Bambi eyes is apparently better at deciphering Marcus’s emotions than Marcus is.  

“Oh, hell,” the guy sighs, “now you're—embarrassed, don’t be like that, I didn’t mean to—hey, come on, where are you—where are you going? You can’t just—hey! Come back!”

Marcus does not come back.

And the ensuing wave of regret that pulses through Marcus’s sternum is lukewarm and salty and depressingly difficult to pinpoint the origins of.

It’s not his, he thinks stubbornly.

Probably.


Marcus lasts two and a half days before the persistent invisible tugging at his gut becomes too annoying to bear.

He follows it.

He follows it to a bench in Riverside Park that’s near where the gross little fish and chips stand is, and the scent of old frying oil undercut by whatever the fuck is currently decomposing in the Hudson is—less nauseating than it arguably fucking should be, seriously, what the shit.

But—

His soulmate, his soulmate, is sitting with his legs spread obnoxiously wide, wrists crossed and hands dangling in his lap, squinting intently up at the clouds like he’s waiting for them to tell him what to do next. It’s endearing. Maybe. Marcus’s stomach is in knots—a tangled mess of dread and unease and, abruptly, relief.

“Oh,” the guy says, quirking his lips into something that Marcus chooses to generously describe as a smile. The bruise on the guy’s jaw is a lurid, chalky looking violet, partially obscured by the auburn of his stubble. “You found me.”

“Of course I fucking found you,” Marcus says, dropping down next to him. Their knees brush, just for a moment, and it’s like—lightning, bright and fierce and sizzling, coiling around the base of his spine. “There’s been this—this buzzing, in the back of my head—”

“Yeah,” the guy interjects glumly. “I know. I would've—if you hadn’t. I would’ve tried to find you.” He pauses. “I missed you, I guess, which is—weird.”

Marcus scowls down at the sidewalk. There’s a crack in the cement, and it’s dirty, gritty with loose gravel around the edges, splintering off into a dozen hairline fractures before disappearing into the grass. He can feel his own surprise at the guy’s admission, and it’s so—uncomfortable, knowing that there’s nothing he can hide behind. Making himself smaller, holding himself still; they’re not antidotes for anything, not anymore, and this guy—his soulmate—he’s got a rabbit-fast heartbeat and an intimidatingly focused way of feeling things. Marcus wonders how he’s supposed to get used to that.  

“I’m Marcus,” he eventually offers, voice emerging gruffer than he’d have liked. “My name, I mean. It's—Marcus.”

The guy turns, slightly, to look over at Marcus. “Oliver. I’m Oliver.” He hesitates before he goes on, sounding nonplussed, “I still can’t believe you fucking hit me. Over a jersey.”

Marcus huffs. “It’s a really shitty jersey.”

Oliver grins, short and sweet and self-deprecating, before nudging at Marcus’s ribs with the point of his elbow. “I’ve, uh. I’ve been told I’ve got kind of a…bad habit of, of taking things too seriously.” His mouth twists, and the stabbing ache of some long-ago insult, or argument; it lances through the pads of Marcus’s fingers, stinging and sharp. “Obsessive. That’s what—I dunno. That’s what I’ve been told. I can be…obsessive. About—whatever.”

“Obsessive,” Marcus repeats, shaking out his hand. “That’s your—one big fault. Enthusiasm.”

Oliver shrugs, easy and casual, like it doesn’t matter, like Marcus can’t literally feel the crippling uncertainty—the tension, swampy and thick—weighing down his limbs. “Enthusiasm is…too nice of a word for it, I think.”

“Bullshit,” Marcus hears himself say, with absolutely zero fucking direction from his brain, or his conscience, or his admittedly flimsy sense of self-preservation. “Enthusiasm is the perfect fucking word for it.”

Oliver startles, slightly, eyes widening a fraction. There’s a coolly refreshing burst of—happiness, maybe; gratitude, definitely—coating the back of Marcus’s tongue. Citrus. Summer. Chlorine and coconut. It’s fucking nice.

“Oh. Um. Okay,” Oliver says, haltingly. “Thanks.”

A tentative silence descends between them on the bench. Marcus drums his fingers against the inseam of his jeans, jiggling his foot and glaring at a rotting spear of tree bark and swallowing around a metallic-tasting lump in his throat that he instinctively wants to label curiosity.  

“Sorry,” Marcus grunts, slouching forward. “About the—hitting you. I just—sorry. I was angry. I get angry.”

Oliver stares at him, bottom lip clutched between his teeth, and there’s a swirl of something taking root in his lungs, something chewy and rich, like caramel, so that every breath he takes in is like burnt brown sugar crystallizing against the roof of his mouth, but then there’s more, too, a champagne bubble pop of amusement, and—

“It’s alright,” Oliver says wryly. “I heard I was wearing a pretty shitty jersey.”

Marcus snorts, and then groans, and then laughs, almost despite himself, before confessing, as quietly as he can manage—  

“Yeah, I’m…not really sorry, anyway.”