i'm not your savior baby girl

Kneeling to fan service
  • Jon: hi, the world you desperately want to own is in danger, can I borrow your dragons to save it for you?
  • Daenerys: kneel!
  • Jon: no.
  • Tyrion: he's not mad, you know, I spoke to him once, years ago.
  • Daenerys: what do you mean danger?
  • Jon: *goes on unnecessary, life-threatening wight hunt*
  • Daenerys: kneel?
  • Jon: no.
  • Daenerys: if you kneel, you can borrow my dragons.
  • Jon : no.
  • Viserion: ice ice baby
  • Daenerys: look what your zombies have done! #mychildren #theyllnominateemiliaforhersadfacialexpressionhere
  • Jon: *kneels* *dramatic and epic music to make causal viewers think this is a good thing*
  • JonxDaenerys: now we're going to have sex, because that's what teenage girls all over the world, who're still angry Hermoine fell in love with Ron, not Harry, want to see.
  • Daenerys: okay, I'm ready to save the world now! #heroine #savior #messiah 🐉🔥
  • Robb and Ned Stark: *turn in their graves*
Evak Drabble- Prompt-- Sex Talk

“Heyyyy, Isak.”

Isak looks up, a deep instinctual part of him already alarmed at the faux-casual way Eskild is approaching him- hands up, big smile on his face, a goal of humiliation in his eye.

Yup. Right of the bat Isak knows he’s not going to like this conversation.

“Eskild.” he greets warily, taking another bite of his cheese sandwich and mentally mapping out all of the potential escape routes in the kitchen.

“So I was wondering if we could talk,” Eskild grabs chair and slides in right across from Isak. He daintily rests his chin on folded fingers, “Love Guru to… person in need to guru skills.”

Oh dear God.

Isak swallows. “Um- I don’t know. I’m meeting Even in like-”

“Ah Even? Perfect! That’s who I wanted to talk about.”

That is the very thing he is so afraid of. “You did?”

“Yep!” Eskild pats Isak’s hand encouragingly, “I just feel that it’s my duty as your mentor in the gay community-”

“Eskild, really-”

He shoots Isak a look. “-to check in and make sure you are… prepared to be in a relationship with another boy.”

Isak takes a deep breath. “I mean, Even and I have been together for like three months now. So, not much that I haven’t, you know, figured out.”

“All the better!” Eskild takes a breath, “Are you being safe?”

Isak stands up and pushes the cheese sandwich away, “Nope. I am not having this conversation.”

It’s no mater, Eskild just hops up and follows Isak to the sink, “It’s great to have a sexual relationship with a boy, but being safe- condoms- are an important part to a-”

“ESKILD.”

“How are you feeling? I know you’re a bottom, so it everything being stretched properly? Any internal bruising?”

Isak pointedly does not think of the handprint shaped bruises on his hips or the bite marks marking the inside of his thighs, “Oh my god. This is not happening.”

“And like- Even is really tall… so it stands to assume that he’s proportionate, so it might be painful if the proper foreplay isn’t taken into consideration.”

Alright. Starting right now, Isak is going to look a new apartments away from nosy roommates who want to know how big his boyfriend’s dick is.

Eskild continues, looking nonplussed at the way Isak is slowly turning into a human tomato with the way the flush running up his neck and onto his cheeks, “And, like, I’ve seen rug burns on your knees- which let me tell you is a common problem for me.”

Isak picks up a butter knife from the sink and considers how much force it would take to stab himself. “I don’t want to hear this. I really would give anything not to hear this.”

“You don’t have to be ashamed-”

Isak groans and turns to look Eskild in the eyes, no matter the psychological distress Eskild is currently inflicting. “I’m not ashamed, Eskild. Even and I are- we sex. together. It’s safe, sane, consensual, all that good stuff, “ Oh god he feels queasy, “Even is, Jesus Christ i hate my life, he’s very good at what he does and- okay please let me drop this and we will never speak of it again.”

Eskild is positively glowing. “Aww Isak! You two are adorable. My little sexually responsible babies. I am so proud of you.”

In the background, a buzzer rings and Isak nearly sobs for joy. Even, his savior, is getting so many blow jobs in thanks for unknowingly saving him from this moment.

“I have to go. Now. Forever.”

“Do you have a condom in your wallet? I have an entire six pack if you need it? Isak?”

“GOODBYE ESKILD.”

THE SIGNS AS HALSEY SONGS
  • ARIES: castle
  • “And there’s an old man sitting on the throne that’s saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut”
  • TAURUS: i walk the line
  • “I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time”
  • GEMINI: new americana
  • “Survival of the richest, the city’s ours until the fall
  • They’re Monaco and Hamptons bound, but we don’t feel like outsiders at all”
  • CANCER: is there somewhere
  • “And I promised myself I wouldn’t let you complete me
  • I’m trying not to let it show, that I don’t want to let this go”
  • LEO: borrowing
  • “Tell me, how can a heavy heart be so empty? You left all your baggage on my step When you went and left me”
  • VIRGO: roman holiday
  • “And we know that we're headstrong
  • And our heart's gone
  • And the timing's never right”
  • LIBRA: control
  • “I paced around for hours, on empty
  • I jumped at the slightest of sounds
  • And I couldn't stand the person inside me
  • I turned all the mirrors around”
  • SCORPIO: strange love
  • “But I don't have to fucking tell them anything, anything
  • And I'm gonna write it all down, and I'm gonna sing it on stage
  • But I don't have to fucking tell you anything”
  • SAGITTARIUS: young god
  • “He says "Oh, baby girl, don't get caught on my edges
  • I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon”
  • CAPRICORN: coming down
  • “I found a savior
  • I don't think he remembers
  • 'Cause he's off to pay his crimes
  • And he's got no time for mine”
  • AQUARIUS: haunting
  • “I was as pure as a river
  • But now I think I'm possessed
  • You put a fever inside me
  • And I've been cold since you left”
  • PISCES: touble
  • “Would you lie for me?
  • Cross your sorry heart and hope to die for me?”