i'm not very good with expressing myself in the first place

Title: Evening Blue
Character: Shaun Murphy
A/n: The Good Doctor is gonna get a full season, and I’m ready to write a fuckton of stories for this show because of how happy it makes me feel. I’m also trying to use the doctor jargon, but I can only figure out so much without it becoming ridiculous, so forgive me.

You hazily began to fill out some release forms for one of your patients that had been admitted the night before, you were on call almost the entire time and you didn’t get much sleep because of it.

You felt yourself begin to nod off when your shoulders were abruptly shaken. Your eyes flung open and you turned to see Claire smirking at you.

“Late night?” She asked, placing her clipboard next to yours while she began to flip through her own papers.

You yawned, noticing that your handwriting was beginning to go all over the place. “When is it anything else?”

Claire smiled, reaching behind the counter and sliding a steaming coffee cup over to your side.

You took one glance at it and broke out into fake sobs while you hugged her. “Did I ever mention how much I love and adore you?”

You heard her laugh before you broke away from her, taking off the cup of the coffee to blow at it for a few moments before taking generous sips out of it while you finished the release form.

“Hey, I’m gonna check the OR schedule,” Claire announced after a few mintues of nothing but the sound of pen on paper occupied your space. “We can meet up for lunch though?”

“Sounds good to me, boss,” You said with a mock salute, causing her to smile again. “Try not to kill anyone.”

“I’ll do my best.” She announced, saluting back to you.

“Doctor (L/n)!”

You slightly flinched at the abrupt peak in the volume around you and your hand shot up to your head. Turning around you saw Shaun standing there, hands clasped as usual, he had a smile on his face as he walked up to you.

“Good morning, Dr. Murphy.” You said, nursing your coffee in your hands while you turned to fully face him.

“You look terrible.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, you hadn’t been around any mirrors lately, but you could easily imagine how haggard you looked after almost an entire night at the hospital.

“Yeah, I was here late last night. I’m gonna try and fix myself up before my first shift so no one else has to suffer through it.”

“O-Oh, I don’t mean that you look ugly, just very tired is all, you might want to try getting some rest at some point.” He clarified, still smiling.

You blinked, not really know whether he was trying to compliment you or not, so you smiled back. “Well thank you, how are you today?”

“It’s my first full day working here,” He said, bouncing slightly as he spoke. “I also rode the bus.”

You smiled. “Oh yeah? Sounds fun.”

“What was your first day like?”

You huffed at the sudden question, trying to think of exactly what happened, but just as you began to piece an answer, your pager went off.

“A tale for another time,” You said before waving him off. “Good luck, Shaun!”

Shaun waved back, even though you weren’t looking at him anymore. “Thank you.”

“I got to assist in surgery!”

You recognized Shaun’s voice, and you looked up from your patient files to see him bounding towards you from the end of the hall. His hair flopping all over the place when he took each step.

You smiled at the expression on his face, feeling a happy surge of proudness swallow up the current fatigue you were currently trying to ward off with excessive caffeine consumption. “Hey! That’s great!”

He nodded, his eyes flashing to you before they fell onto the window behind you. “It was a little girl, Martine, I sent her home earlier because I was on scutwork and I wasn’t allowed to do much. Nurse Fryday was my boss for today, but Martine had an intestinal malrotation, she was totally unresponsive when I first went to get her but she’s doing fine now. I was only on suction but what matters is that she’s okay now.”

All of this was said very quickly, he stumbled over a few of his words but you were able to get the main idea of his tangent.

“You know, your pretty good at this whole doctor thing.” You mused, noticing his smile broadened as he stood taller.

“I didn’t do much, only suction.” He reminded.

You yawned into your the crook of your arm and leaned against the wall, your eyes shutting momentarily. “Doesn’t matter, you were the one to figure it out. And you were the one who drove out of your way to get her. She’s alive because of you.” Shaun took notice to how your speech had slowed down, and you broke off during the end of your sentences.

There was silence, and you opened your eyes to check on him, only to find Shaun sitting on the ground next to you, leaning close to your face.

“You haven’t gotten any rest, have you?”

You shook your head. “I tried, but there was too much to do and-”

“You should really get some proper sleep tonight, it’s very unhealthy to have multiple restless nights and it could be very potentially dangerous for you-”

“I know,” You said with a chuckle, but it sooned died off when you noticed he still looked concerned. “Hey, don’t worry too much, I’m gonna head out in a couple minutes.” You said, giving his shoulder a small nudge as you propped yourself up. Deciding to save your ‘passing out in an elevator’ story for another time.

“Do you promise?”

“Promise what?”

“Promise that you will get more rest from now on.”

You smiled, placing your bag around your shoulders before heaving a sigh. “I promise that I will get more rest, as long as you do the same.”

“I already sleep a healthy amount of hours for my age.”

You laughed, pulling your keys from your bag before turning around to face him again. “Do you-” You paused for a moment, wondering if your question would come off as odd before continuing. “-Want a ride home?”

“I’m still in my scrubs.” He pointed out.

“It’s fine, I can wait for you.”

Shaun was now looking at you, something that only happened when he was deep in thought. “That would be very nice of you, thank you.”

You watched him stand up, becoming aware now of how tall he was before you nodded at him. “I’ll meet you out front, okay?”

Shaun nodded back, trying to mask his concern when you yawned again. “Okay.”

anonymous asked:

I just read a fanfic with this recently and i'm lowkey obsessed with the idea, but how about dadsona asking the respective kid(s) for permission to propose to their dad?

Craig; This was it. A clear Saturday morning. Craig was out and about for his early jog with little River strapped to his chest, leaving you with Hazel and Briar, who were scarfing down the extra special breakfast of pancakes and ice cream with a side of chocolate. You figured that the girls deserved a little prepping before you popped the big question, so you set down your fork and took a deep breath.

 ‘Alright, girls. There’s actually something I’ve been meaning to ask you two.’ You began. ‘You think I’m a good guy, right?’

  Both girls smiled. ‘Of course, we do, Y/N.’ Briar answered, biting off the tip of the strawberry on her pancake. ‘You’re charming and smart, your jokes are a bit terrible but tolerable, for the most part at least.’

  ‘Dude, you just gave me ice cream and pancakes for breakfast. You’re totally cool in my book.’ Hazel chimed in, mouth full of pancake. You laughed.

  ‘Well, that’s good. I didn’t want you both to think I was some sort of bad guy who just waltzed into your family since I am planning to propose to your dad in a few weeks-’

 ‘What?!The twins exclaimed, looking equally shocked as Briar dropping her strawberry and Hazel choking on her pancake, reaching for the hot chocolate to wash it down. You covered your mouth in regret. The table was silent for a while, both parties staring at each other in astonishment. It was Hazel who broke the silence with an awkward cough.

 She still looked surprised. ‘I mean, I’m not against it. Dad does talk about how much he loves you and, well. It’s clear he loves you so uh…’ Hazel nudged her twin, silently begging for her to back her up. Briar sighed and looked into your eyes. You knew she wasn’t going to be kidding around this time.

 ‘Y/N. Do you love our dad with all your heart?’

 ‘Yes.’ You replied without hesitance. 

 ‘Will you always make sure he’s in a good place and when he’s not, will you be there for him?’

 ‘Yes.’

  ‘Do you promise not to hurt him, in which case Briar and I will cast our super secret demonic witch twin powers on you to curse you and your descendants for decades?’

  You stared at Hazel, who looked dead serious before laughing at your extra shocked expression. ‘I’m just kidding, dude. Just make sure you take good care of dad, he really deserves it.’

  A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you leaned back on your chair. ‘Thank you so much, girls. You won’t regret this, I swear.’

Hugo; The front door opened to signal somebody had arrived home. You knew that it wasn’t Hugo considering he had texted you an hour ago that he was coming home late thanks to a bunch of middle schoolers in detention for setting fire to the trash bins. That meant you and Ernest were alone for the rest of the afternoon, and that gave you the chance to have a heart to heart talk with the moody teen. You watched as he made his way into the kitchen, where you sat on the sofa pretending to read a book. This was it. Now or never.

  ‘Hey, Ernest? You mind if you come over here? I kinda wanna talk about something.’

 No reply. This was gonna be a little tricky.

 ‘I could convince your dad to get a dog if you talk to me!’

 The footsteps stopped, then made their way towards you. Ernest groaned and threw his bag down, leaning against the wall. ‘Well? What is it? I don’t have all day, loser.’

You smiled and put down the book you were “reading”. ‘You know, your dad really cares about you.’

 ‘Is this what your talk’s about?’ He scoffed. ‘If I wanted to hear about cheesy bullshit I would have just gone to the guidance counselor’s office. Did Hugo talk you into this?’

 ‘Ernest, I know you don’t seem to care about your father much, but you should know that he still loves you. Very much, in fact. Hell, he told me once that you could throw a dozen cherry bombs into the boys’ toilets and he’d still love you.’ You spotted his face beginning to soften, so you went on. ‘Actually, that’s one of the reasons I like your dad. He’s devoted to you and everything else he does. It’s really admiring, don’t you think?’

 That was it. Tears began to roll down the young teen’s cheeks, trying to wipe them away with his orange sleeve. You sat up and opened your arms, Ernest running into them and sobbing into your shirt. ‘I-I know Dad loves me…’ He gulped. ‘I just..cant myself to..show him that-’

 He collapsed into a fit of sobs. You sat him down on the sofa, wiping his eyes before sitting down beside him.

 ‘I know you love your dad, Ernest. I understand that it’s kinda hard to show that you love him, but I know you do.’ You put your arm around him, hesitant at first, but when you saw that the young man didn’t mind, you relaxed. ‘That’s why I want to ask for your blessing to propose to him.’

 Ernest’s tired eyes widened for a moment at what you said, turning to you in shock. ‘Y-You want to…what?’

 ‘Marry him, Ernest. If it’s alright with you, of course.’

 He took a deep breath and stood up from the couch, grabbing his backpack and starting to walk away. Before you could start panicking, he turns to you with a smirk on his face.

 ‘Mastiff first, and Hugo’s all yours.’


Robert; You weren’t going to lie; Val seemed quite intimidating. Her city life clothes and her half joking, half serious attitude and her overall demeanor made you almost cower in your dad shoes. But you had to get her permission. After all, it was her dad, she deserves to be okay with it before you try something as big as marriage. You invited her over to Jim and Kim’s while Robert was off in the woods that night. The bar doors opened to reveal Val in all her shining glory, spotting you at a booth in the corner and giving you a friendly wave before walking over to you.

 ‘Well, Y/N? What kinda fuckery has my old man gotten up to now?’ She joked as she settled down in the leather booth. ‘Set fire to the woods? Lost his foot in a tragic car accident? Found the Dover Ghost but got taken away by it, and now you’re trying to tell me that my beloved father has been kidnapped and may never be seen again?’

 Yep. This was Robert’s daughter, alright. ‘No, no, and unfortunately, no. It does have something to do with Robert, though.’

 ‘Welp, I didn’t come all this way to hear small talk.’ Val turned away for a second to order two shots from Neil, who nods and delivers it over. ‘Spill the beans, dude.’

 You took a minute to assess the moment. There was Val, a smart, playful yet serious woman if you messed with her or her dad. One wrong step and she would definitely send you flying to the moon and back. Or poke a hole into your head with her super sharp nails. The point was, this was your one chance. And you couldn’t blow it. 

 ‘So, uh, marriage, right?’ You blurted out, trying to segway into the question. Val looked up at you with an eyebrow raised. Great job, Y/N, you thought to yourself as you awkwardly downed the shot glass, hoping the liquid courage would hit sooner. ‘Kinda a weird thing if you think about it. “Hey, I love you so much I’m going to get the government involved so you cant leave.”. What a weird thing, huh?’

 Nice, you made the situation even more awkward. Val sipped her shot glass skeptically. ‘You alright, Y/N? You look a little pale.’

 Shaking yourself out of your nervous state, you looked up to the confused Val.

 ‘Okay, Val. I’m not gonna lie; I really love your dad. I mean, I think it’s been fairly obvious already, but I really love him. I know you both have been through some stuff, stuff that I don’t have to get involved into if you don’t want to, but I know both of you love and care for each other. That’s why I was wondering if you were alright with, uh, letting me marry him.’

 Neither of you spoke for a moment, Val ordering two more shots which were delivered way quicker than usual. She picked up her glass and stared into the liquor inside.

  ‘You know, Dad’s been through a lot. Losing Mom. Losing me. I used to hate him for being such an asshole, even thinking he was incapable of loving anything other than himself. But lately, he’s been..better. He’s so willing to patch things up, get his shit together, and sometimes I wonder how that happened. So on the day I came back, I asked him.’

 She looked back to me and smiled. ‘He said he met someone. Someone who shoved some sense through his mind and made him wake up. I couldn’t even explain the words Dad used as he described you. They were all good, don’t worry. My father isn’t exactly the best when it comes to emotions, but when I saw what influence you had on him, I knew I wanted you to stick around.’

 With a flourish, she raised her shot glass in a toasting motion.

 ‘A toast to Y/N, my future step-dad and loving husband of Robert Small.’


Joseph; After weeks and weeks of waiting for the right moment, you finally found a short window of time where Joseph wasn’t with the kids. Sleeping in thanks to a late date on his yacht the night before. Thanks to this, you managed to wake up the twins and Chris (you left Crish to sleep soundly in his crib) , who were mumbling about not wanting to before you mentioned chocolate brownies, to which Christie jumped up to the chance while Chris and Christian just stirred at the thought of getting to lick the bowl. You set the kids to do their own tasks before starting the talk.

 ‘So, there’s one thing I gotta know; are you guys actually planning to kill me in my sleep?’

 Chris groaned and shook his head, signaling that he wasn’t interested. Christie and Christian shook their heads too. You breathed a sigh of relief.

 ‘Phew, that’s a good thing. Well, do you think I’m an alright guy, then?’

The three stared at each other for a moment, then nodded. You smiled. This was going better than expected.

 ‘Great. So, this next question might be a bit…shocking but it’s very important to get your answer. It’s okay to be honest and say no, alright?’

All three children froze. Christie’s brush had stopped buttering the tray. Christian’s mallet hovered over the crushed nuts. Chris’s hand had stopped moving the spoon to mix. They turned towards you at the same time, making you feel quite anxious.

 ‘I, uh, kindawannamarryyourdad.’ You mumbled, suddenly taken aback by the children’s creepiness. Christie and Christian walked up to you, and just when you think they’re going to pull out two knives and stab you for wanting to marry their father, they wrap their tiny arms around you and mutter ‘new father’. Chris walks towards you, eyes boring into yours.

 ‘We love Dad a lot. Just don’t try anything, got it?’

You nodded vigorously, and Chris shuffled back to continue mixing the bowl. The two refused to leave your waist, and though it was a cute gesture, you pried them off and insisted you had to continue the brownies, planning to make them a present for your future fiance. And, of course, you let the kids lick the bowl just this once.

Damien; It didn’t take a detective to know that Lucien was a tough nut to crack. His rebellious ways made it a bit difficult to pin him down while Damien wasn’t around, but you finally got some alone time with him when Damien was off dealing with a dog emergency at the animal shelter. You heard loud rock music through the door leading into his bedroom. Knocking on Lucien’s door, the music shut off and a familiar voice shouted through the door.

 ‘What the fuck is it?’

 ‘Lucien? It’s just me.’ You replied. ‘I was hoping we could talk for a bit, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask-’

 Before you could finish, the teen had already pulled his door open. ‘Well? What is it?’

 You mentioned that it would be better if you talked in the living room, and he begrudgingly trudged to the living room and plopped on the couch. ‘So what the hell is this about? If it’s my music, then yeah, I’ll tone it-’

 ‘It, uh, isn’t just that, kid.’ You sat yourself down beside him. ‘I mean, yeah, it’d be really nice if you could, but there’s been something else I’ve wanted to talk to you about. It’s about Damien.’

 You could see Lucien’s face go from angsty, passive-aggressive, oh-my-god-leave-me-alone to point blank serious. Lucien was a rebellious teen, however, that didn’t mean he didn’t care about his father. It was surprising, actually. They both had a loving relationship, which is mostly the reason why you wanted to ask Lucien for permission in the first place. Sure, he was glad that you made his dad feel good about himself, but to marry the man who’s been raising him alone for years? That was pretty big, and you had to make sure Lucien was okay with it.

 ‘Y/N? You look a little pale, is it something bad?’ Lucien’s voice was unnaturally soft. You cleared your throat and spoke up.

 ‘Lucien, I know you love your dad a lot. I also know that you matter a lot to him, and he sees you as his entire world. So it’s kind of well and good to ask; are you alright with letting me marry your father?’

 It was Lucien’s turn to become pale as a ghost. He stared at you with unblinking eyes and an unreadable face before slouching into the sofa.

  ‘You know, I kinda expected this. You and Dad have been so close lately, and don’t get me wrong, I’m all for it.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘I’m really happy that he’s found someone to kind of, be weird with and shit, you know? He seems really content with you, so go ahead.’

 You smiled, thanking Lucien for his blessing. Maybe he wasn’t that tough of a nut to crack after all.

  ‘Oh, and by the way, find a better place to hide your engagement ring, dude.’ The teen laughed before heading upstairs into his room.

Mat; Carmensita was a sweetheart. She gave you the utmost respect, and you treated her like a mini Amanda, joking around with her and (attempting at) making matching flower crowns for you, her, and Mat. Despite this, she seemed a bit weak with emotions. This was evident throughout the many times she cried during an emotional scene during movie night, wherein Mat had to give her a big dad hug, asking you to skip the scene so Carmensita would stop crying. This made you a bit hesitant to ask for her blessing at first, but you decided to pull through with it anyway.

 It was in the evening, where Mat was off at the Coffee Spoon for open mic night. You passed for tonight, pretending to have a headache and insisting you would be fine with Carmensita. Waving goodbye to your boyfriend as he walked off into the night, you had a nice light dinner with the young girl, listening to her go on about school.

 ‘Miss Davers is a bit weird, but you get used to her eventually.’ She gobbled down on her food. ‘Maybe you can teach me algebra, Y/N?’

 ‘Hmn,’ You bluntly replied, picking at your dinner. You were so nervous that you couldn’t even eat anything in fear of choking it up and scaring the daylights out of her, which was not going to be the best moment to ask for her blessing. She noticed your silence and put down her utensils.

 She looked at you with concern. ‘Y/N, you’re really quiet tonight. Is it the headache? Should I call Dad?’

 ‘N-No, sweetie. I’m fine, just a little..’ You bit your lip. ‘Do you like me, Carmensita?’

 ‘Of course!’ Carmensita’s mouth curved into a smile, showing off her braces. ‘Did you really need to ask?’

 ‘Actually, yes.’ You sighed. ‘Sweetheart, I need to ask you something. It’s pretty important, and I just want to let you know that I completely understand if you say no, alright?’

 Looking a bit scared, she nodded anyway. Here goes nothing;

 ‘Will you let me marry your dad?’

 Shock. Screaming. Crying. You prepared yourself for anything that Carmensita would react with, and sure enough, the young girl started bawling up. Just as you were about to call your attempt a massive fail, she began giggling and wiping her eyes.

 ‘Ah, jeez. You really scared me for a second, Y/N. I thought you were going to ask something way worse, like you were some sort of alien and you were gonna ask me to run away and join your alien family or something.’ She walked over to you and buried her head in your chest. ‘Of course, I’ll let you marry him, Y/N. There’s no other person I’d choose. You make him feel so happy and giddy and you both seem so cute together. How could I say no?’

 ‘You sure it’s alright? I could be a huge hug alien ready to crush my next victim into a warm embrace!’ You joked, patting her frizzy brown hair. She laughed and smiled up at you.

 ‘Hug alien, shmug alien. Dad is all yours.’


Brian; Daisy was Brian’s pride and joy. He practically put her on a pedestal and worshipped her every day of his life, so you decided it would only be proper to ask for her permission to marry her father. She was a smart, sensible girl, surely she would understand, right? You knocked on her door on a late afternoon when Brian had gone shopping. She called to let you come in and you did just that.

Her walls were filled with trophies and medals, along with laminated certificates and a bunch of pictures with her dad. Their closeness intimidated you, but you were determined to see this through, sitting on the edge of her bed beside as she put down her book.

 ‘Hi, Y/N. Have you and Dad finished your “who’s the best daughter cuddler’ competition yet?’ She gleamed. You chuckled, remembering that day where you and Brian had a huge cuddlefest on the couch with Daisy in the smack middle, content of course but slightly unable to breathe in between the two huggers. 

 You put a hand on Daisy’s back to reassure her. ‘Daisy, I’m happy to announce that your father and I have decided that we are both sufficient cuddlers and will not be subduing you to our cuddling competitions. Thank you very much for your participation and we hope to see you again next year!’

 The girl giggled, covering her mouth and muttering something along the lines of ‘It was a good experience’. You cleared your throat. ‘Jokes aside, there is something I want to talk to you about, Daisy.’

 ’Anything, Y/N.’

 You took a moment to look at her. She had Brian’s hair and freckles, hell, even a bit of his eyes. It was almost as if you were looking at Brian himself, which made you extra nervous.

 ‘D-Daisy, d-do you think I could marry your d-dad?’ You stuttered, unable to get the words out. Daisy went from slightly curious to absolutely shocked. She let her jaw drop and hang as her widened eyes stared at you. You assumed she was trying to find a way to say no and started to let yourself out before a hand grabbed you.

 ‘Wait, Y/N! It’s not that I’m going to say no, it’s just… so astonishing. Don’t leave, please.’

 You propped yourself back onto her duvet as she grasped your arm, thinking that you were going to walk away at any second.

 ‘Sorry, I got a bit scared there for a minute.’ She apologized. ‘You know, Dad really likes you. Whenever you aren’t around, he would talk to me about how much he loves you and cares about you, asking me for help to think about competitions just to get closer to you, stuff like that. And I’m not going to lie; I enjoy it. But what makes you different is that you make Dad feel good about himself. He takes a lot of pride in me that he sometimes forgets to see the actual good of the real him. You make him feel like he should be proud the way he is, and I’d love for you to be a part of our lives.’

 Daisy nuzzled into you. ‘Still with me, Y/N?’

 ‘Sure am, Daisy. And thank you.’


((ahhh im sorry this took forever, i was writing this during my breaks of reviewing for exams and i just couldnt concentrate without wanting to finish this prompt! super sorry it looks rushed, i’ll be back to answering prompts regularly by tomorrow after my last exam!!)) 

-Mod Coffee Cake

anonymous asked:

When you're talking about Elsas abuse we're you talking about her parents hiding her away? Sorry if this is dumb AgHshddh I'm an abuse vicitim and I just thought your commentary on that was interesting I never caught that (Then again it's been a while since I've seen the movie but yeah :0!)

yeah! that and also, if you go back and watch the movie, a lot of what they say to her is just, really heartbreaking? 

this is the opening to the film, and toward the end of the clip we can see elsa holding anna in her arms and her parents immediate reaction is “elsa what have you done?! this is getting out of hand!” not like, what a normal parent would say which would be something more like “elsa, what happened?” 

so the first time we meet their parents, our very first impression of them is that they do not trust their daughter, and that elsa has hurt anna in the past, or at the very least, her parents are convinced she has/will hurt her. this is like… definitely not something a good parent thinks of their child. it’s plainly obvious that elsa’s parents are scared of her (what breaks my heart is elsa’s expression after her father says this too and her small “it was an accident…”)

and then they go to the trolls who then erase anna’s memories of elsa’s powers, which thrusts elsa’s dad in This monologue:

“No, we’ll protect her. She can learn to control it, I’m sure.Until then, we’ll lock the gates, reduce the staff, we will limit her contact with people, and keep her powers hidden from everyone. Including Anna”.

This is like, abuse tactics 101. Hiding your child away from people and limiting their contact with them is Abuse. It’s really no different from what happened to Rapunzel, in my honest opinion. Being locked away from the world. 

The difference being with Rapunzel was that she was told that the world was dangerous, Elsa on the other hand was told that She herself was dangerous.

And then in “Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?”, we see this scene in the middle of the song where Elsa’s dad Literally tells her not to Feel Anything. 

A little later in the video we see Elsa completely distraught and unable to even let her parents Touch her or Hug her or calm her Down because over the years they’ve taught her that she is a danger not only to herself but to everyone around her. She wont even accept physical comfort because she thinks she’s going to hurt someone. 

The way Elsa is treated is so incredibly horrible to watch like, it’s just so obviously abuse. Mother Gothal was treated for what she was: an abuser. So why aren’t Elsa’s parents? 

I mean shit man, if you go and look at “A Frozen Heart”, a novel written about the movie for more mature audiences that followers Hans and Anna as the events of the movie unfold, we get a glimpse at whats happening off screen to Elsa when Anna stumbles upon her sister and parents in the solarium.

It goes on to talk about how their father has an anger problem, to which Anna says “no you don’t remember when–” and lists off a bunch of times where she fucked up and he still didn’t get as upset as he did with Elsa just then. 

And this novel is canon. Everything that happens in here is 100% something that’s happened in universe. And it all just strikes me, as an abused person myself, as so obviously abusive. The way that they treat Elsa is horrible. Blaming her for pushing them away when it was them who pushed her away and in the first place, locking her away from people and from her sister, forcing her to conceal her emotions and to feel Nothing (Conceal, Don’t Feel always felt sinister to me and when I went back and watch this movie with a critical eye a while ago I finally realized why). 

But this is all why I love Elsa so much. This is the perfect Villain backstory and she still only just wanted to protect her sister. 

I could also get into how Anna was groomed to be abusive as well but we’re talking about the king and queen rn lol and this is already long enough. 

anonymous asked:

i'm a high school freshman, and i'm taking GeoHonors, BioHonors, Advanced English, and Advanced Art... i'm overwhelmed. I attend a high school known for high stress levels and suicides.. Previously in my elementary+middle schools, i was a straight-A student, no biggie. I thought high school would be the same.. which is why I signed up for so many honors. I'm also playing competitive volleyball, studying for the october ACT (for a summer camp), and preparing for my final piano exam. help? ~Kass

Hey Kass! Hope you’re doing well. Shelby here. :)

You sure got a lot going on. Sometimes that can be good & other times not so much. But you do sound very smart and you do seem like you got a ton going for you which is a plus.

I’ve got some resources & links to show you today in hopes it helps you.

Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress

Feeling emotional and nervous or having trouble sleeping and eating can all be normal reactions to stress. Engaging in healthy activities and getting the right care and support can put problems in perspective and help stressful feelings subside in a few days or weeks. Some tips for beginning to feel better are:

  • Take care of yourself.
  • Talk to others. Share your problems and how you are feeling and coping with a parent, friend, counselor, doctor, or pastor.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol may seem to help with the stress. In the long run, they create additional problems and increase the stress you are already feeling.
  • Take a break. If your stress is caused by a national or local event, take breaks from listening to the news stories, which can increase your stress.
  • Eat healthy, well-balanced meals
  • Exercise on a regular basis
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Give yourself a break if you feel stressed out

Recognize when you need more help. If problems continue or you are thinking about suicide, talk to a psychologist, social worker, or professional counselor.

Time Management:

Motivation & Procrastination:

Study Techniques & Studying:

Notetaking:

Exams and tests:

General Academics:

Health/Issues:

College needs:

Food

Helpful sites:

High school needs:

Mental health resources:

Misc resources:

Motivation:

Music/Sound:

School resources:

Stress relief:

ACT Test Guide

Things to Remember:

  • Difficult questions are worth the same points as easy questions.
  • If you answer 53% of the questions correctly, you get an average score.
  • There is no penalty for wrong answers - guess if you don’t know.
  • Budget your time; don’t spend too much time on a question.
  • Read each question throughly and know what it’s asking for.
  • Mark up the booklet to help you - annotate and show your work if that helps you

English:

  • Questions often test for redundancy and irrelevance.

Math:

  • The first time, go through and do the questions that are easier and faster to do.
  • Then, go back and tackle questions that you don’t know how to do or will take more time for you to complete.
  • Look at the answers and plug them in. (start with the middle answer)
  • Substitute numbers for variables.
  • Look at the question like a logic puzzle, not a math problem.

Reading:

  • Skim the reading to get a general sense of the passage.
  • Answer questions that refer to specific words or sentences, and then move on the questions that require you to read paragraphs.
  • Focus on main points and ideas. (usually in first and last sentences of each paragraph)
  • Pay attention to details that might be important to the story.
  • Think about why the author wrote the passage and
  • Mark up the booklet - annotate! (as mentioned above)

Science:

  • what the labels mean
  • what the table shows
  • trends
  • units of measurements
  • data representation (charts and tables)
  • research summaries
  • conflicting viewpoints (usually asked to compare and contrast)

Writing:

  • formulate and opinion
  • maintain focus on your topic
  • ability to defend your opinion using reasoning and supporting ideas
  • organize your ideas in a logical way
  • use language clearly and effectively

Helpful ACT links:

Hope this helps. :) xx

–Shelby(:

(pls forgive me, i’m not a photo editor. i just wanted ot7)

Hey, everyone! I recently hit 100 followers! I’ve had this blog since January and even though I had a rough start and I wanted to leave a few times, I’m very glad I pushed through. I wanted to save a follow forever for another milestone and just do a drabble game for this one but there are so many amazing blogs a wanted to thank. I really appreciate every single one of you guys. This blog has been a safe haven for me, and I can’t imagine how my life would be without it. I’ve felt much more loved on this blog in the short time I’ve had it than on my previous blog, which I had for 2 and half years before I left. Even though this blog may be considered ‘small’ to some people (not that it matters to me), I still feel as if I genuinely matter to all of you, and I can’t thank you enough. I will never be able to fully express my gratitude. I really do care about all of you. All the users that show up under my followers are my friends, and I care about each one of you so much. Thank you all so much for all that you’ve done for me. I’m beyond grateful.

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So I'm a Misfit, So I'm a Flirt (Harry Hook x Evie Queen)

Request: Harry x Evie #45

Pairing: Harry Hook x Evie Queen

Warnings: Slight dirty talk, I guess? Swearing

A/N: This is before Evie and the other VKs were sent to Auradon.


“Come on, M. I know you and Uma aren’t on the best of terms, but that doesn’t mean her mom’s restaurant is a bad hang out place.” Evie said while dragging her best friend into Ursula’s Fish & Chips.

Mal rolled her eyes. “Alright, but I’m not eating any of the raw fish they’re serving here.”

“Fine, no fish.” Evie agreed.

“You might not be eating, but my eyes are feasting.” someone behind Evie said in a flirty tone.

The blue-haired villain didn’t need a face to know who it was. The thick Scottish accent gave it away. “And what, may I ask, are they feasting on?” she asked without turning around, lips curving into a grin.

She felt the cold metal of the boy’s hook run down her arm. “Why, the mildly attractive daughter of the Evil Queen standing before me, of course.”

Evie could practically hear his signature smirk. “Mildly attractive, huh?”

“Let me rephrase that.” Harry leaned closer, his front lightly pressed to Evie’s back. “Immensely sexy daughter of the Evil Queen.”

Finally turning to face the boy in the eye. “Hey, Harry.” She smiled.

“How’s my second favorite gal doing?” Harry asked.

Evie’s brow popped up. “Second favorite?”

“Uma would have my head if I said otherwise.” he laughed. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean its true, though.” he whispered.

Evie lifted her head in pride. “Good. Because if I thought for one second that you’d pick Tentacles over there before me,” she leaned in just enough for Harry to feel her warm breath on his lips. “I’d have your head.”

One more smile, and Evie turned to sit with Mal. “So are you guys, like, a thing?” Mal asked.

“Who? Me and Harry? Of course not! We’re just close friends. Nothing more.” Evie assured her friend.

“Yeah. Friends. Close friends. Very close friends. Very close, flirtatious friends.” Mal remarked sarcastically.

Evie playfully rolled her eyes. “You know me and Harry like to joke around.”

Her gaze landed on Harry. He sat across the restaurant arm-wrestling Gil. He wore a confident smile on his face. She never noticed it before, but when he smiled, she couldn’t help smiling, too. His laughter was contagious. His eyes were bluer than any sea his father sailed. His touch never failed to leave a trail of goose bumps behind…

“E!”

“Hm?” She looked back at Mal, who had a confused expression on her face.

“You okay?” she asked. “You kinda zoned out on me.”

Evie shook her head, feeling the heat reach her cheeks at her thoughts. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Mal shrugged as she stuck a fry into her mouth.

Evie then noticed the tray of french fries in front of her that Mal was eating from. “I thought you weren’t eating anything from here.”

“I said I wasn’t eating the fish.” Mal corrected. “I didn’t say anything about the fries. Want one?” she offered.

“You know what? I was just about to get some myself.” Evie stood.

She started to make her way to the counter up front when she saw Harry sitting on the countertop picking food off of everyone’s trays. Her thoughts from before clouded her mind, making her hands shake. She spun around toward the exit, hoping he didn’t see her.

“Evie!”

Shit.

“Where ya going?”

She threw on a smile and faced Harry. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“As a matter of fact, I would.” He smirked.

Wise-ass.

“I was just going to get some air.” Evie lied.

Harry got off of the counter. “I too would fancy some fresh air.”

Evie bit her lip nervously. “Then why don’t you join me?”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

He followed her outside and stood beside her. She let out a shaky breath and looked at the wooden dock below her feet.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Harry broke the silence. “Why were you staring at me back there?” he finished, looking into her eyes.

Evie felt the air hitch in her throat, making her choke a little, but she quickly regained her confidence as an idea popped into her head. “Thinking.”

Harry maintained eye contact with Evie as he slowly backed her into a nearby wall. “About…?”

He grinned when her back hit the wall, as did she.

“You.”

Harry smiled even more. “Me?”

Evie nodded. “You, and all of the things you’re too afraid to do.”

He playfully scoffed. “You calling me a scaredy-cat?”

“Of course not!” Evie denied. “I’m calling you a pussy.”

I will not hesitate to kiss you, right here, right now.” Harry leaned in.

“Then do it.”

Without hesitation, like promised, Harry smashed his lips to hers, enveloping them in the most passionate kiss either of them have ever experienced. Their lips moving in perfect harmony. Her hands roaming through his hair, his caressing her hips. That was the first kiss the two had shared.

And it most certainly was not the last.

Thanks to @percyjacksonfan2000 for requesting this! I fell in love with this one and am actually thinking about turning it into a series! Should I? I’d love to hear from you guys!

anonymous asked:

so i've been reading all of your outlander meta lately and i love it so much, it really adds a new dimension. obviously this is a big request but since outlander (the first book) was from clare's perspective, do you think there are some passages before jaime marries her which are indicative of his interest towards her? he always seemed subdued to me but i'm not a careful reader

Thanks Anon. I’m thrilled you’re enjoying my old meta posts. I desperately want to write more but they take so long, I just don’t have the time to do as many of them as I did when I first started posting here on Tumblr.

I think there are a LOT of passages from the first book that show evidence of Jamie’s interest in Claire, even though they’re written from Claire’s perspective. One pretty good indicator is when Claire finds a way to explain his behavior as being due to something else––as evidence that he’s interested in Laoghaire or evidence that he sees her (Claire) as a friend, etc. Claire is heavily into denial at that point of the story, still intent of finding a way back to Frank and considering herself still very married to him. Acknowledging Jamie’s interest could be the first step to acknowledging her own interest so she tends to just shut both down at the source. Jamie also tends to downplay his obvious interest and turns a lot of his remarks towards jokes and general friendliness so he doesn’t scare Claire off. 

Luckily, the adaptation absolutely nailed conveying Jamie’s interest in Claire in most of these scenes so not only are you getting a few passages from Claire and Jamie’s greatest hits, there are a few gifs to go along with them. 

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anonymous asked:

I have a need for more of that McCree and Baby drabble. McCree would be such a good papa. and I also want reunion and Hanzo like oh I'm a dad.

You got it, anon. Thanks for your message.


The baby was a small one, and several shades paler than McCree. Already, it had his messy, thick hair and full lips. Its eyes though- when they opened, were definitely not McCree’s- Jesse had never had that stern, surly gaze.

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The Night We Met

Character: Negan (The Walking Dead)

Word Count: 4,665

Prompt/Summary‘The Night We Met’ by Lord Huron / Negan’s wife recalls when they first met.

Warnings: None.

Written For: Jessie’s 1K Follower Writing Challenge

Note: Set in my little pre-apocalypse AU that I love writing in, where everything is fluffy and nothing hurts, lol. The song that they dance to is the song that inspired this fic, and is linked above. I know the lyrics are kinda depressing and don’t really fit the tone of the fic, but whenever I listen to this song, all I can think of is how pretty it is. And of how much 13 Reasons Why wrecked my heart, but that’s not relevant here.

Tagging: @grimes-slut, @negans-network, @jdms-network, @hawtdiggitynegan, @fuckinjdm, @jeffreydeanneganstrash, @sweetsweetpeach

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The Neighbor — Part. III

a Shawn Mendes Series.

A/N: Here’s Part. III, holy shit it took me forever to write this. Thanks for reading. And feedback always makes me happy. :)))
Also tagging @babyshawwn bc of caramels.

« PART ONE
« PART TWO

WordCount: 5,947
The following day, a quarter past ten. July 1st.
y/n was still asleep whereas Emily had been awake for a good hour. She was watching the news on the TV while eating her cornflakes, on the couch. They were talking a lot about Canada Day. Obviously, because it was the day.

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Prompt: This wasn’t meant to be a date, but we’ve had such a good time and now it’s 2 a.m. and I should really go home…

Pairing: T’Pura

Requested by @ussspocko, thank you for your patience! This got big! Haha! I had so many different ideas but then I realized this was perfect Fake Date/Academy AU fodder and I JUST couldn’t help myself. I don’t write these ladies as often as I should, so I hope it’s alright!


“I require your assistance.”

The words, at first, didn’t quite sink in. Nyota had been happily nursing her drink, her well-deserved reward after a long week. The music here was loud and predictable, the bartender chatty enough for company but busy enough to remove any social obligation, and it was as good a place as any to unwind. The ebb and flow of her Friday nights had become important to her– the few moments she really had to relax all to herself.

At least, most Fridays were like that. With the Vulcan woman sidling up next to her at the bar and her hurried plea for help, Nyota suspected this wasn’t going to be a typical night out.

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New Beginnings

FS + space + comfort + fluff 💕

They sat on their bed, silence over taking them. Fitz was wrapped in Jemma’s arms, Jemma’s face buried in his neck. Fitz had already cried, Jemma had too, no, now they just held each other as they consciously knew they were somehow floating through space on a spaceship. Everything was always falling apart around them, nothing could ever just stay.

Jemma’s eyes clamped shut, heaving in a heavy breath. “I’m so sorry, Fitz.”

His hold around her tightened. “You’ve done nothing wrong, Jemma.”

She shook her head in the crease of his neck. “But I did. This is all my fault.”

At that Fitz pulled back, just enough to see her face. He swept a hair from her eyes so he could look straight into them. “Why would you even think that?”

She gave a weak smile while a scoffed a escaped her mouth. “Because it’s true.”

“Jemma, you never -”

“I left you, Fitz.” Her breath hitched, her gaze falling to her lap. “I was so determined to get revenge on AIDA and end all of this that I mindlessly left you all alone, without Davis or anyone, you didn’t even have a gun…” She looked back up, tears flooding her eyes. “I might as well had left you for AIDA wrapped in a nice little bow, ready to slaughter.”

“Jemma, I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Yes, but if I hadn’t left you then I and Davis could have helped you fight them off. They knew that Davis and I had guns and we would be too much of a challenge to try to defeat - I fell right into AIDA’s trap.”

“So did all of us.”

“Yes, but it’s different Fitz.”

Fitz normally wouldn’t argue with Jemma, she was always right in her mind and arguing never got him anywhere. However, this time she was wrong, and he wasn’t going to let her put the blame on herself. “How?” He probed, knowing Jemma was hating him for it.

She sniffled, taking in a sharp breath. “Because I wasn’t supposed to ever leave you again.”

Fitz’s mouth gaped open, his hand reaching for her shoulder. “Jemma, we didn’t -”

“We had every choice, Fitz. And I chose to leave you all alone, again, leaving you for the wolves while I went off to prove myself. I promised myself I would never leave your side - we were supposed to be in this together. Through thick and thin, side by side. Look where I’ve gotten us now? If I hadn’t left you you might still…”

“We might have both been taken, and in the Framework you would have been killed, and I could have lost you forever.” Fitz moved his hand from her shoulder to her cheek, brushing her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “I’m grateful you left. Because wherever you went, you were safe.”

Jemma lapped her hand over his. She tightened her fingers around his and pulled it back just enough so she could kiss his palm, then allowed it to return to her cheek. “I just hate myself for leaving you in danger. I might have been safe, but you’ve been close to death for these past weeks, and I did nothing to prevent that.”

“You pulled me out of the Framework, didn’t you? You've​ made me realize that who I was in there isn’t who I am here, with you. You saved me over and over again, just in these past few days.”

Their hands fell between them, intertwined. “I wouldn’t have had to if I had never left you in the first place.”

Jemma had to always be right, and he was never very good at convincing her otherwise. But he had to, because he couldn’t express how grateful he was that she was here, safe, and with him.

They were quiet, both watching their hands as their thoughts overtook them. Finally Fitz found words again, so he practically whispered, “Remember when I said we were cursed?”

Jemma nodded, a small smile crossing her face. “How could I not?”

“Yeah, well, that was my way with coping. It was my only way to pass the blame, because I blamed myself for leaving you in that room with the Monolith, all by yourself, to be consumed by another planet and stuck with a lonely astronaut, and without… me. I told myself if I had stayed that if anything, you would have had me on Maveth. We could have been together. But I knew, deep down, if I was up there with you - I would have never been able to save you. We would have been stuck in another world, with Will, and we would have lost our minds, sooner or later.” He shrugged a little, meeting her gaze. “It didn’t matter, though, because while you were back and recovering, and the trauma you had to bare, all I could do was blame myself for leaving you. So, instead of blaming myself, I blamed the universe. Once I was done with blaming, I realized that what happened - me leaving - was for the best, in some twisted way … it was fate.”

“Oh Fitz,” she wanted to tell him that was never his fault, it was nothing he could have ever prevented, but then his point occurred to her. She blinked, holding his hands even tighter.

“You were able to hack into the Framework and save me, Jemma. If you hadn’t done what you did then I wouldn’t be here, right now. I would have died as my own worst enemy, and without you.”

She smirked, just slightly. “So what you’re saying is the universe is on our side?”

Fitz smiled, rolling his shoulders forward. “Maybe it is.”

Jemma leaned her forehead in, pressing hers against Fitz’s. She took in a deep inhale, then when releasing it she said, “The universe brought us up here - where it all began. Perhaps, if it did have wants and desires, it brought us up here for a reason.”

He lifted his eyes, meeting hers. “What reason would that be?”

“For new beginnings.”

Fitz’s lips curved up into a smile once again, his hand brushing the side of her face as their foreheads stayed pressed together. “I guess space is fitting. But, can we not go back to square one again?”

Jemma chuckled, shaking her head against his. “No, I was thinking of another kind of beginning.”

“Really? And that would be…?”

Jemma bit her bottom lip, closing her eyes shut. “Perhaps … a baby kind?”

Fitz jerked back, his eyes immediately searching hers. “A baby? As in…?” his eyes fell to her stomach. He stammered over some words before he managed​ out,  “Are you saying you're…?” He then gestured to her stomach, letting Jemma fill in the rest.

Jemma nodded. “I didn’t know until we came up here. They gave everyone their exams for coming in and… well, seems I’ve been too distracted to notice.”

“You're… pregnant.” Fitz mumbled.

Jemma snickered. “Yes, Fitz.”

“With a baby.”

“Usually how it works.”

“With … our baby.”

“That’s not much of a question, but yes.”

Fitz suddenly grinned, a laugh escaping him. “We’re going to be parents.”

Jemma returned the beam, nodding. “We are.”

Fitz and Jemma hadn’t kissed each other, truly, since before this chaos had taken hold. Fitz had been dealing with so much that Jemma didn’t want to rush him, and Fitz felt Jemma needed time to cope with whom he saw in the Framework. Other than holding hands, hugging, and the occasional kisses on their hands or cheeks, their had been nothing physical between them. But without thought, Fitz reached for Jemma, kissing her passionately on the lips. It was quick, and when he pulled back his face changed to a worried expression, but Jemma didn’t mind at all. “I’m sorry, I -”

She raised a brow, took him by the collar of his shirt and pressed her lips to his in return. Fitz instantly melted into her embrace, both of them losing themselves in each other.

Space or no space, they were starting a brand new chapter in their lives, a chapter where they would do anything to keep their family safe - for better or for worse.

Fitz pulled back, his eyes wide. “We have to tell the team,”

Jemma rolled her eyes in response. “You’re right. But whatever Coulson says, we are not naming our child after him.”

Fitz smiled. “Even if it’s a girl?” he teased.

Jemma smirked. “Especially if it’s a girl.”

“Filthy Halls” deleted scene

Youji shows up at Masaomi’s house in Kyoto unannounced. “I was in the area,” he had said as an explanation, and they both knew how exceedingly unlikely that was without Masaomi pointing it out, so Masaomi didn’t say anything at all.

“My brother is dead,” Youji said finally, after dinner and then watching TV for a couple hours on Masaomi’s couch while Masaomi worked on his laptop.

“Congratulations,” Masaomi said mildly, knowing how Youji felt about his brothers. “The evil one or the dick?”

“The dick,” Youji said, “Although, I feel the need to point out that they were both evil.”

“I have very fancy champagne,” he offered, “Seijuurou is home though, so we’d probably have to wait until he goes to sleep if we want to get really drunk.”

“Ah, I see you’ve already mastered the finer nuances of good parenting,” Youji said fondly. Masaomi decided he would let Youji continue to think he didn’t want Seijuurou to see them drunk out of delicacy for role model purposes, and not at all because he was sure Seijuurou would find a way to exploit that weakness to his advantage. Youji leaned back on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose, as if he had a headache. “I do want to get drunk, which probably means that I shouldn’t.”

“Fair enough,” Masaomi said. “I also have very fancy cake.”

“I could eat some cake,” Youji acknowledges.

*

It was on the third slice of cake that Youji’s phone rings. “It’s Ryouta,” he says, as an explanation for why he gets up to take the call. Masaomi tunes out at that point, because he doesn’t feel the need to listen in on Youji’s conversations with his son.

It’s not until he hears Youji cry out, “Ryouta, stop. I can help you, just tell me where you are. We’ll figure this out together. Ryouta!” sounding like a wounded animal, that Masaomi whips his head up.

Youji is looking at his phone and Masaomi’s heart stops for just a second—he has seen that expression on Youji’s face before, and it’s not good.

“What happened?” he demands, already getting up. He’s not sure what he’s going to do, but he thinks desperately that he has to stop Youji somehow (he’s not sure what he’s stopping Youji from doing, but he’s ready to intervene, to do anything, to make it all go away).

“Yukio,” Youji says, his voice a strangled whisper. “Something—something must have happened to Yukio. I have to—I have to go them.” He’s packing up his stuff and looking wretched and lost.

“OK, we’ll go them,” Masaomi says calmly. “Where are they?”

“I don’t—I don’t know.” Youji stops and swallows and looks at him helplessly, “Masaomi, I don’t know where my sons are.”

He sounds close to breaking so Masaomi pulls at him, steering him towards the laptop. “It’s OK, I can find them. Give me their cell phone numbers and tell me everything.”

“You can—you can track their numbers?”

I can,” Masaomi says, allowing that this isn’t something just anyone can do.

Youji paces, agitated, as Masaomi starts working at his computer. He’s only ever heard Youji sound so helpless once before, and he hates it. His own heart beats fast with the sense of urgency that he knows Youji must be feeling.

“Ryouta said—he said something bad might have happened. He meant Yukio.”

“Did he say that?”

“No, but—that’s the only thing it could have been, to make him sound like that. Something must have happened to Yukio, and I don’t—Ryouta sounded like he was going to do something dangerous and what if—”

“It will be fine,” Masaomi says, with firm conviction, like he can will it to be true. “Everything is going to be fine.”

They both knew that sometimes things weren’t fine. Youji almost died after he lost Hinami; Masaomi is positive he won’t make it if he loses those two kids. Masaomi works faster and then curses when the results settle in a location.

“What? Where are they?!”

“Iwatobi,” Masaomi says, knowing what that means to Youji.

“Oh, God, he must have—Seiji.

Masaomi swallows, knowing that Youji had good reasons to hate his brothers, and he’s feeling in the blanks about why his kids might have gone to Iwatobi. “You never told your gay son about your homophobic sadistic brothers?” Masaomi asks even as they’re already packing up and heading out the door.

“I didn’t think I had to!” Youji says, “I told Yukio not to go, he’s never disobeyed before—Jesus Christ, if he’s done anything to hurt my kids I’m going to kill him.”

The eldest brother, Masaomi thinks. The one Masaomi really should have done something about, years ago. Except Youji hadn’t wanted that, not really. And now they’re both regretting that inaction.

“How long does it take to get to Iwatobi?” Youji asks. “Do you have a jet?”

“Yes, of course, but it’ll be faster to take a helicopter, we won’t have to worry as much about landing—”

“Will a helicopter be fast enough?”

“One of mine will, I designed them myself,” Masaomi says.

“OK, OK,” Youji says, mostly to himself, as if trying to calm down.

The round the corner, and Seijuurou is standing there. Masaomi blinks, having momentarily forgotten he was around.

“Is Ryouta in trouble?” Seijuurou asks.

“He might be, and we’re kind of in a hurry—”

“I will go with you,” Seijuurou says.

Masaomi would protest this but they don’t have time. And Seijuurou might come in handy anyway. At any rate, his presence would keep Youji from losing himself entirely, so Masaomi just nods and they head out the door.

There’s too much at stake at the moment—Youji is already too close to losing his mind with worry, so there’s no point in adding to that. But a deeply unsettled feeling spreads throughout Masaomi as he thinks about Iwatobi and how he knows there’s other things in that small town that the Miracles might have to worry about.

And for the first time, he starts to think maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence that the secrets in Iwatobi happened to be in the same place as Youji’s home town.

 

A/N:

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anonymous asked:

actually I've been wondering for awhile what "I" word you use in Japanese, I've been learning Japanese and just wondering as far as queer communities in Japan if they ever step out of the (w)atashi is for girls/neutral and boku/ore is for boys thing. Could a fairly feminine looking person get away with boku? just wondering about what the situation actually is surrounding those words usage.

i don’t use any particular set of first person pronouns ( i / me / my / mine) because i’m not comfortable using any of them. rather, i use various different pronouns or no pronoun at all depending on the register i’m speaking in, the situation i’m in, who i’m speaking to, how i’m feeling that particular day at that particular time, etc etc. thankfully Japanese is a very flexible language when it comes to pronouns in general and doesn’t even require usage of them at all most of the time, unlike English.

that doesn’t stop Japanese pronouns from being a pain in my native-English-speaking-gaijin ass, though.

while i hesitate to make broad generalizations about what people in Japan (queer or otherwise) do or don’t do, i think it’s safe to say that Japanese people in general twerk, bend and play with language (including pronouns) all the time. while the gendered associations that exist with pronouns are strong, lots of people defy those associations every day (and are subsequently met with varying degrees of pushback from society because of it, of course, but still). in Japanese much more so than is even possible with English, Japanese pronouns are loaded with much more than just gender associations. among other things, they are also imbued with character and which one a person uses is read as saying as much about that person’s gender as it is their individual personality and self-expression, in my humble opinion. after all, there is more than one pronoun associated with either of the binary genders. everyone has a choice when it comes to their pronoun usage and gender is but one of many considerations.

again, this is just my opinion, but if the situation isn’t formal or otherwise warranting humility or “professionalism”, anyone could “get away with” using 僕 / “boku”. especially as a gaijin (foreigner) and doubly so if your Japanese ability isn’t particularly advanced, people will just assume that your pronoun usage is a learner’s mistake influenced by anime / manga. even if your Japanese ability is notably good, it’s highly unlikely that anyone would actively reprimand you in a casual setting, although they may pause upon hearing it and maybe just maybe eventually muster up the courage to point out what they assume to be a mistake on your part, but it’s much, much more likely that they’ll just chalk it up to being a personality quirk.

i don’t consider myself to be feminine at all, but even so the only time i’ve ever been called out on my usage of 僕 / “boku” has been when i consciously decided to use it in class with young students just to see how they’d react, upon which i’m immediately corrected because kids are just like that. they like to think that they’ve one-upped me and are teaching me A Thing, but also, espeically for Japanese kids imho, the world for them is a much more rigid place in general #Because決まり.

while (adult) native speakers of Japanese masterfully command their pronoun usage and defy social norms in many ways beyond just pronouns, i, on the other hand, police my own pronouns out of sheer self-consciousness and anxiety. kids aside, it’s never others imposing linguistic social norms on me, it’s always just me who’s awkward.

anonymous asked:

Thank god, another bnha scenario blog!! YESS!! I've just read the ones that you have atm and they are awesome!! Could I request a scenario where Kirishima, Denki, Iida and Deku run into Bakugo in a mall, and they see he's with a girl, And they follow him and they find out it's his girlfriend. And the next day they tease him about it in school? I hope I explained it well, I'm m not very good at explaining...Very very sorry for that

I’m gonna make this super long cause I need to apologize for the misunderstanding ;w; 

I’m still very very sorry nonnie! I hope this makes up for it! Enjoy!!


Deku was practically vibrating with excitement as he sighted three of his classmates waving at him from afar.

It had been two days ago when Kirishima and Kaminari approached him to ask whether he’s interested to join them this Saturday for an outing. The freckled boy was so giddy and excited at the prospect of hanging out with his friends outside school, he immediately gave an ‘okay’.

It was amazing how quickly he was able to assimilate ever since he entered UA – to be treated normally and not as an outcast was still a little foreign for him, and to be honest he never knew how happy such a common act could made him. It was all thanks to his kind (well, most of them) classmates in 1-A. They thought of him as an equal, and the treatment was refreshing compared to the ridiculing looks his older classmates would always threw him. 

But most of all, it’s the miracle of Kacchan who was finally starting to acknowledge him as a proper human being! In fact, his childhood friend had probably seen him as an equal now, or so he hoped, if the lessened bullying directed towards him was any indication.

If Bakugou was here right now and could hear his thoughts, he would probably be sulking with that pouty-and-enraged expression of his. Yes, that unique face of his, just similar to the blond stranger a few feet away from them–

Wait.

“Is that Kacchan?” He couldn’t help but point out.

“Where?!” Kirishima followed his green haired friend’s gaze and gasped in betrayal, “I asked him to come along and he said he was going to spend the weekend at home! The nerve of him!”

Iida pushed up his glasses, feeling responsible to become the voice of reason amidst unruly teenagers, “While I do not condone lying, he must have had a reason for his actions.”

“No, no, Iida, my man– Bros does not lie to each other, ever!”

Before Iida could remove Kirishima’s arm around his shoulder or threw a retort, the blond in their group had intercepted, “It looks like he’s buying something,” Kaminari squinted his electric colored eyes and suddenly threw his companions a wide grin, “Hey, you know what? We should tail him!”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…. If we get caught….,” The shortest of the group advised. After all, if Bakugou lied to them in the first place, it must be something he really didn’t want anyone to find out.

“Nice, Kaminari! Come on, guys! We’ll lose him at this rate!” The spiky haired redhead took the leader position upon himself and started to stalk his friend, followed by an equally mischievous looking Kaminari, his phone out and with the camera app opened.

Iida and Midoriya glanced at each other with similar meaningful look, one that screamed ‘why do these two always go looking for trouble’, before joining the other two. 

At the very least, Iida had his Engine and Midoriya his One For All Full Cowl, meaning they could each grab a friend and run away lightspeed before Bakugou could blow their heads off if he realized he was being tailed.


Meanwhile, you had been waiting quietly on the benches by the mall’s small, circular fountain. It was a sunny and overall nice Saturday, you had been enjoying your date so far, and you really hoped this peacefulness would last until your date finished. Trouble always seemed to follow your boyfriend as much as how he always seemed to look for it, with that hot head and skyscraper-high pride of his.

When you caught sight of him returning safely with two ice creams on his hands, you beamed brightly and swung your feet childishly in excitement, hand stretched forward to accept your much wanted cold snack. Your boyfriend however, didn’t budge nor acknowledged your gesture.

“What? I brought these for myself, idiot,” his voice was harsh as ever, but you could see the teasing glint in his red eyes, and you decided to play along just for a bit.

You threw him a fake look of betrayal and stood up to your full height before reaching out for one of the sweet treat again. Katsuki stepped backward, and your fingers grabbed air, missing your target. He looked pleased when you pouted, and you threw him a scolding look with your eyebrows raised.

Mean Katsuki! Bad Katsuki!” You chided, enjoying the slight irritation that passed his expression by the tone you used at him, and decided to press more, “You bad, bad boy! Now sit!”

The blond glared at you for daring to give him an order. Him, of all people. A small part of him was slightly impressed, but the most part yelled at himself to establish dominance. “I’m not your fucking dog!”

You gasped in fake dramatized shock when he took a huge bite from what was supposed to be your ice cream, “No! Bad Katsuki! That was supposed to be mine! You can’t eat it!”

“Yeah? Watch me.”

He made a move to take another chunk out of your sweet treat, and you launched forward in desperation.

But your lips met air for a millisecond and collided with your boyfriend’s own. You were eager to return the kiss, amused yet irritated because you had fallen into his trap this time. When you pulled back, you could taste the sweetness on your lips that had only left you wanting for more.

“If you wanted a kiss you should’ve–” The horrified gasp that left your throat had been a real one this time. Katsuki had pushed the remnants of your snack into his mouth, looking thoroughly satisfied and smug.

“That’s for shit talking to me as if I’m your tame little poodle,” he snarled, his signature wide smirk stretched across his face, “You should tread better next ti–”

In a surprisingly quick and sudden movement, you pulled his collar forward and crashed your lips to him. Caught totally off guard, he stayed rooted in his spot, unable to comprehend what had just happened as you licked the remnants of what tasted like chocolate syrup off the side of his lip. When his mind was back in the game, a feral growl muffled against your kiss, he pushed back, wanting to regain control. 

You pulled back swiftly before he could grab your head like how he always would whenever he was in such mood, a conceited grin on your lips.

The wide eyed look on his face was almost comical, and the satisfaction you felt was multiplied tenfold by the ice cream you had gotten hold of, at some point in time in the middle of the kiss when he was most unguarded.

“You should tread better next time, Kacchan!” You laughed in glee and waved the treat before plopping down on the bench and enjoyed your reward for brilliantly executed sneak attack.


“Yo, Kacchan!”

Bakugou felt irritation swooping down full force at the nickname. It increased a hundredfold when he felt the stubborn redhead with boring quirk slung an arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me, shitbag! And don’t you dare use that fucking name!”

Kirishima grinned, wide, and somehow his features seemed darkened and his smile seemed less friendly than usual. He was reminded of the aura whom the grape-head would exude whenever the creep thought of females in general. It was disturbing to say the least, but he kept his trademark glare up nonetheless.

“Oho? But you let your girlfriend calls you so, don’t you?!” His classmate said rather loudly, putting an emphasis to the word ‘girlfriend’, and the whole class fell silent. Apparently the topic of Bakugou having a girlfriend was too good to not listen to.

He felt blood rushing to his cheeks, and several explosions lit from his hand in rapid succession, “What the fuck are you blabbing about!?”

“Come on, Kacchan, out with it! Aren’t we bros?” Kaminari joined in, wearing a similar expression as Kirishima.

“We’re not, you sick fuck!!”

“Bakugou! It’s dishonorable to lie to your friends!”

“Kacchan, um, I-I think it’s better if you tell them the truth… Before the photos spread….”

And then suddenly everything clicked; the weird feeling of being watched looming over him halfway through the date last Saturday wasn’t just his imagination. He felt rage bubbling in the pit of his stomach as his palm met the desk and the poor object met exploded in contact.

“I’M GOING TO MURDER EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FUCKERS!!”

Trimberly Week — Pride Parade AU

Trini was excited for that day. It was the first pride parade that she went, surprisingly, given her twenty-one years of age. It was only that time of her life, when she left home and went to live with her best friend, Zack, that she was able to come out for her parents and not have to worry about disapproval.
Zack painted the gay flag on one of Trini’s cheeks, and was trying to write “free hugs” on his belly, as she tied the rainbow flag around her neck, like a cape, while wearing her usual clothes: an old yellow T-shirt, that she still wore on special occasions, a pair of blue jeans and red all stars.
Both of the friends were ready, waiting for the van with the other people who would accompany them to the parade, and share the rent of the vehicle. Zack tried to pull on his blue bow tie and his yellow suspenders, trying to not look crazy without a shirt on in the middle of the sidewalk.
As soon as the van arrived, the two of them jumped in, greeting Tommy, who knew them both. She was beautiful with her blue jacket, pink pants, and white T-shirt, imitating the trans flag, short brown hair naturally dropped almost over her black eyes. She snapped between her two friends.
“Wow, Trini,” she commented, smiling. “that outlined… You did it?”
“Surprisingly, it was.” Trini smiled back, blushing.
“But I got the idea of ​​doing them with a purple eyeliner,” Zack said with a shrug. “you’re welcome.”
The van stopped again, letting in the last three passengers, who sat facing the trio already inside. One of the boys had the asexual flag on both cheeks, and wore a combination of blue-colored clothing. The other boy wore a half blue and half pink pants, with a purple T-shirt and the words “Homo … Sapiens” in red. Finally, a girl with a pink flower crown, a purple cropped T-shirt and tall, short, blue shorts. The sneakers, also pink, had the letter “B” in one of them and “I” in the other, both in blue.
Trini was charmed by the girl. It was beautiful how her short chin-length hair made gentle waves, how her dark-skinned cheeks stood out while she blushed, how she smiled in a unique way.
Zack nudged her friend and murmured in her ear “Wow. These three are…”
Tommy rolled her eyes, pinching Zack over his pink pants. He gave her an angry, but still enlightened look.
The road was short, but not quiet. The driver handed the sound cable to the charming girl, who put songs that matched the situation: a bit of Troye Sivan, a hint of Hayley Kiyoko … And they all sang, acting like old friends.
As soon as they arrived, all of them got out from the van. Before the trio moved away from Trini, Tommy and Zack, the boy called out “Hey, you three! Don’t you want to come with us? Let’s get to know each other better, and not act like a bunch of strangers. We’re all here for the same reason, aren’t we? Why on earth would I offer hugs to strangers, but I wouldn’t talk to the cool people I shared the van with?”
The three of them smiled, and they all joined in a group. The boy in the blue clothes introduced himself as Billy, the other said he was Jason, and the girl was Kimberly.
Kimberl … That name was familiar. Trini had some memory closely associated with it. But no, it’s just a name, there are many Kimberlys in the world … Even so, she had memories, confusing memories.
At one moment, as everyone stopped to watch the motorcycles pass, Kimberly stood by Trini’s side and murmured “Your first time here?”
“Yeah.” Trini replied, blushing. “I came out completely recently, now that I moved in with Zack. Before that, I couldn’t think of coming here, my parents would throw me at the street.”
“It’s a shame these things are so complicated… But tell me your story. You’re the one that “always knew”, or had a click suddenly, or had a click after kissing a girl…“
"I started to get interested in girls in high school. And I can say that I knew very well what it was, that thing about the girls, so it was not very difficult to decipher. But even so, I put myself to the test to be sure. I went to a party of one of the students of my school at the time. It was a very liberal environment, so finding someone who was interested in "helping me” wasn’t problem. And it was after that kiss with that girl, that I don’t remember the name, that I was sure. Too bad I did not get a chance to spend much time there, I went to another city, another school…“
"You don’t remember her name?”
“I deleted a lot of memories from my school days, because it was not a pleasant time… I would say there were no good memories…”
Kimberly nodded, showing surprise in her expression. Then she questioned, looking deep into Trini’s eyes “None?”
“Um … Nothing that was not a temporary joy. Like, parties, jokes…”
“Kisses?”
Trini stared at the girl by her side. Was she flirting? Really?
“Uh… yes, I think…” she snapped.
“Well, I think my best kiss was in high school, a secret one.” Kimberly said over her head, glancing away at the march of the parents of LGBT children passing by. “Senior year, when I still wasn’t sure I was bi. I was at a party, and there was this girl who was not exactly popular. Everyone knew her, but it was more for her to suffer a lot with evil jokes for being… Simply her. I did’t like the way my friends treated her, this thing of writing evil things in her locker, tear down her books… I saw how unfair and senseless it was, and how she seemed to be cool, gentle. I nurtured an interest in her without knowing her, and this party was my chance. There were no one who wasn’t there, so running away from my friends was easy. I started to talk to this girl, and she turned out to be a lot more than I’d imagined. And after a while, as we were walking around the party, I pulled her into a darker, empty place and stole a kiss. It was not exactly an epiphany, but it was what led me to realise that I like girls.”
Trini, with an expression of doubt, was staring at Kimberly. That story was very familiar to her… The party where the popular girl talked to her and stole a kiss from her.
In a click, the name that sounded so familiar came back her mind. Kimberly Ann Hart, the most popular girl at school, the name all knew, and Trini spent so much time trying to erase from her memory. That girl… She was there beside her.
Kimberly amused at how Trini finally realized who she was talking to. Suddenly the situation became embarrassing. Trini blushed exaggeratedly, not being able to look at the girl who was now staring at her.
“Your… Best… Kiss?” She stammered.
“Well, it was the most memorable so far. It’s not your case?”
“Is that why you remember me?”
“Well, that, and the fact that you haven’t changed at all.”
“I can not say the same thing.” Trini found herself forced to face Kimberly to make sure her mind did not deceive her. “You look very different … The hair, the expression…”
It’s good to hear that. It’s good to know that I don’t look like that Kimberly anymore.
They both sighed, looking at each other. A few seconds of stares, fixed, with that brightness of interest.
Trini broke the silence between them, letting out a restrained giggle. “I … I did not stop thinking about that night for the rest of the school year. I’d never noticed you, because even if I did, I would not have imagined having even a tiny chance. When you came to talk to me at that party, I thought it was a challenge from your friends. And after the kiss… I did not know how to act when I saw you in the hallways, or when we had that class together and I would just look at you, and I did not know what to do. I wanted to talk to you, ask you… Why me? Why would the popular girl, so beautiful, with so much at her hands, choose the odd and misunderstood new girl? Heck, I think I’m talking too much…”
“You think?” Kimberly raised an eyebrow as she smiled with one corner of her lips.
“I really need to find a way to avoid speaking everything that comes to mind…”
“I believe I can help you with that.”
Trini did not immediately understood what Kimberly meant, but the girl’s next move cleared her words. Kim’s hands rested on Trini’s neck, pulling her closer, as her lips moved to meet Trini’s. After a moment of shock, Trini surrendered and grabed Kimberly’s waist, bringing their bodies closer, and diving into her second stolen kiss.
And woah, what a kiss!

anonymous asked:

hi! i absolutely adore your blog and was hoping if you wouldn't mind writing something with Jumin and MC getting together in high school. i'm sure you'll do a great job and thanks very much! 😊

Awe thank you, I’m so glad to see you like my blog! I only hope I’m able to continue doing that for you in the future!

This accidentally posted before I was finished and I nearly screamed

As for your request, I’d be delighted to do it! Thank you again and have a fantastic day!

———————————————————————————————————–

Jumin had been sitting in class for what felt like hours, having finished whatever work he had long ago, his gaze focused on a book.

Until the phone began to ring.

It hadn’t been much of a distraction at first, the teacher rushing to answer, her voice quiet as she gestured for others to get back to their work.

Yet then she looked to Jumin.

And he couldn’t help but be curious.

“Okay, yes I’ll send him.” 

She lowered it from her ear, a click coming from the phone as it was shifted back into place. 

“Um…Jumin? The principal is asking for you. Go on and take your things with you as the period is about to end.” 

Whispers began to ensue among the class, staring at him confusedly as he sat up, nodding quietly.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He collected his things promptly and proceeded on his way, his shoes clacking against the tile floor.

Despite his usual calmness, he couldn’t help but feel curious. 

Why had he been called up?

He hadn’t done anything.

Had he? 

He was a stellar student so it wasn’t like he had gotten into trouble.

Right?

His thoughts were interrupted as he opened the office door and was greeted by the secretary, mouthing to him before returning to their call.

“He’s waiting for you in his office.” 

He dipped his head gratefully following on down the corridor, a voice alongside the principal’s on the other side of the door.

The voice was soft and gentle, more than a bit nervous but oddly melodic.

He liked it.

He turned the knob to reveal of course the principal, and someone else.

You.

You were sitting just before the main desk, sitting upright and tensely, your fingers balled into fists on your lap.

You had glanced to him, and your gaze widened like saucers.

Just as he did.

But he couldn’t seem to look away.

He didn’t quite want to.

“Ah, Mr. Han, glad you could join us!” The principal greeted brightly, ushering for Jumin to sit down. “Let me introduce you to our newest student!” 

“Newest student?”

“Yes! MC just transferred here, and I was hoping that our top student might be willing to show them around?” The principal, tapped his fingers against the desk, knowing the inevitable response. “You can be MC’s first friend and help them get settled, here’s a copy of their schedule.” 

He gave it to Jumin, his eyes glancing over it.

“You two have very similar schedules oddly enough, so you’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other. I thought since you both have free periods in about…ten minutes or so you’d be able to just give a regular tour around the campus.” 

“I…suppose.” He folded his lips, shifting his shoulders back. 

“Great! Hop to it then! MC why don’t you drop in at the end of last period and tell me how your first day has been?” 

“Y-Yes sir.” 

You both left without a moment’s notice, the door shutting behind you with a loud click.

“I uh…I guess I should properly introduce myself,” You reached out a hand, mustering a small grin. “I’m MC, nice to meet you.” 

“Jumin Han.” He returned the handshake, a bit sternly, yet he did try to lighten his grip to be polite. “I-um…let’s get started then. Follow me.” 

You nodded, tagging along behind him, staring about in utter surprise at the grandeur of the school around you, the wide towering windows and clean pristine walls decorated with crisp and clear art.

“Wow…” You murmured. “I’ve…I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

“Didn’t you come from a school similar to this?”

“What? Oh goodness no,” You exclaimed. “I could never afford a place like this usually, but my family caught a break, and we managed to get here.”

“Well…” He turned to face you, his words soft. “I hope you like it here.” 

You had brightened at his words, a gentle warmth sparking upon your expression.

“I…I think I will.” 

And soon enough you did.

But even more so, for perhaps the first time, Jumin did as well.

He found himself looking forward to see you as the days went on, simply your smile lighting up his days like he hadn’t known before.

You had always been curious of his life, getting to know him over time.

And you had been perhaps the first to truly want to know.

He had his fair share of others prying into his life, yet he wasn’t a person in their eyes.

He was an obstacle.

To reach his wealth.

But you were so different. 

In the best possible way. 

It was a delight to have in his life.

You were a delight to have in his life.

Yet he couldn’t help but admit the butterflies that would burst in his stomach at the sight of you, his heart painted with such a warmth he though he was held in the sun.

To say the least, he was smitten.

Utterly and absolutely. 

“Jumin!” 

He was thrown from his thoughts as you sat down beside him outside the school, grinning.

“Hey! How are you?” 

His lips tugged upwards at the sight of you. “I’m fine, and you?”

“Pretty good, except for one thing.” 

He furrowed his brow in concern, leaning forward. “What? Did something happen? Who did-”

“Calm down,” You snickered, setting a hand on his arm, squeezing it slightly. “I was just thinking that you’ve never shown me your favorite place here!” 

“My favorite place…?”

“Yeah, I mean you’ve got to have at least one place here you enjoy being. Right…?”

“I…I suppose I do.” 

“Do you think you could show it to me?” You questioned, tipping your head to the side. “Please?” 

He melted.

“Of course.” He sighed, laughing quietly. “Here, follow me.” 

He lead you through the halls, working his way throughout the rooms and finally coming to it, opening the door to reveal it to you.

A garden.

Flowers and trees scattered the land a few simple benches about, Jumin guiding you to one of them.

“This is your favorite place?”

“Not exactly.” He hummed, heat rising to his cheeks. 

“What do you mean?” 

“W-Well uh…t-truthfully my favorite place is…is wherever you are.” 

Your face became redder than a raspberry. 

“W-What?”

“I mean…if we’re going to be honest.” Jumin chuckled, shifting away as he grew more and more flustered. “I-I’m sorry I just…” 

“M-My favorite place is w-wherever you are too.” 

His eyes became larger than saucers, turning to you in surprise. 

“What…?”

“Guilty.” You shrugged, giving a lopsided smile. “I won’t lie.” 

“T-Then um…” He felt a lump emerge in his throat, hardly able to come up with the words. 

“May I kiss you?”

You had never seemed happier.

For without any hesitation you responded.

“Yes.” 

And within that moment the world seemed truly wonderful.

For you were in it.

Wow! Never in a million years did I ever think that I would reach 500 followers like I have now! I would never have believed you if you told me that my blog would have been as supported as it is now, and I am more than honoured to be the one who is running it!

I am bad at expressing myself, so I may sound repetitive throughout this, but either way I am honestly super happy about this, thank you so much to all of you – new and old followers alike. Without you guys I wouldn’t even be in this wonderful fandom, not meeting some of the most amazing people I have ever met, and not writing this beautiful macho man. I cannot express enough gratitude towards you all and your kindness!


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

(this ask is supposed to be anonymous but tumblr mobile is unclear... please don't answer it if you can see my url) Long time admirer, first time writing... So I've been doing a lot of introspection recently and think I might be trans (trans woman specifically) but I'm really not sure. Do you have any advice for someone who's questioning on how to work out whether or not they're actually trans?

Oh god, I feel so terrible that this got forgotten. I had intended to get to this when I had a moment back when I had a job… then things got bad for me.. anyhoo, lets see…

The hardest part about being trans is that no two trans folk quite come to the realization the same way. There are similar aspects, overlapping experiences, but nothing that can give a specific ‘you are trans’ absolute answer feel.

I mean, when you are homosexual, it’s pretty easy to figure out overall (understand, I am grading on a curve here, it’s not flat easy’, just ‘pretty’ easy). You as yourself “Am I attracted to the opposite sex? No, okay. Am I attracted to the same sex? Yes, cool.’ pretty cut and dry. The discovery can be difficult, coming out harder, but really, there is a bottom line

For a trans person, there are a lot more elements at play here. It’s not a single aspect of your life that is effected, it’s everything. This is not a sexual preference, this is your very identity we are talking here. And there are a lot of different ‘levels’ to it. You can be trans Non-binary, Trans but just having the right pronoun is enough, and you could be full on, absolute Trans, born in the wrong body sort of thing.

There are a lot of different aspects, like, how you like to dress, how you like to express yourself, how much your body feels wrong, or just not right.

And there are no wrong answers here.

The first step is asking. Feeling out what is right for you. Who YOU are.

There is a bottom line, at least to an extent, for Trans folk: Ultimately, what do I want to be?

I have had many troubles with all of this. it took me until I was 33 to realize my truth of gender. It taken me the bulk of a year and a half before I stepped out of my house as myself, and even then, it’s really hard to put in the effort to do it. My heart want to be surrounded by the right look, the right flesh, the right voice… And it’s hard to even put in the effort to look even a little feminine because of how I look physically.

on top of that, my dysphoria (that feeling of being in the wrong body) wasn’t always that strong. Sometimes you don’t even feel it at all. And that makes things even harder. LIke, for some, dysphoria could be so strong that it can cause severe depression, like the to 11, staring into the dark abyss level stuff here. Others, me included at times, don’t feel dysphoria about the wrong body, but more that when you are actually refered to by the right name, the right gender, treated the right way, that it fills us with a warm right feeling. a less ‘wrong body’ and more ‘not in the correct one’ feeling. Spiting hairs, I know, but an important difference.

And, like me, it can bounce back and forth and all around. I made a post last night about some dark feelings, in that I mentioned a day of pure disassociation, and I remember pretty clearly the feelings going into that morning. My dysphoria is mostly at worst a sort of buzzing ‘princess trapped in a mask’ feeling, light, frustrating, but a buzzing. but that day, it rose like a crashing wave and wrecked me.

So, nothing is easy, nothing is clear cut.

My best suggestion is, let yourself explore. As to be refered to in a certain gender or fashion, maybe even try some role play or something, find outlets for your exploration is what I’m saying. And don’t be afraid to be wrong. Maybe you are a Trans woman, but closer to nb, and like to be a guy still now and then. There are folks like that known as ‘gender fluid’

It’s why a lot of cis folk are so frustrated, because for them, we might as well be Changlings. And their ridged outlooks have a hard time being flexible.

So, I encourage you, explore, ask yourself what your bottom line is, what do you feel like.

for me, I ask myself: If someone gave me a magic pill right now and said ‘with this you can become a woman, but you can never go back’, what would I do?

My answer has always been “I would swallow it and never look back.”

No matter my feelings, my expression, my path, or my options now or in the future; this is my truth.

I am Anita Barton, Assigned Male at Brith, a Trans Woman. Pleased to meet you.

X3

sorry went all over board there. XD

But yeah, just explore and find yourself. And if your irl life is too dangerous, that is alright, find your safe place, even if it’s just online.

*sends hugs and minis and good vibes*