i'm not sure which would be worse

bright sessions characters as @wolfpupy tweets
  • joan: i'll tell you one thing, just because it is the least amount of thing i can tell
  • damien: things have only gotten worse since i started making everything worse
  • adam: i've hit my fair share of hay over the years and can safely say that being asleep is better than the alternative, being awake
  • caleb: i'm sure i'm going to ruffle some feathers with this but given the choice between good times and bad times i would like to have the good times
  • chloe: i think i speak for everyone when i say things
  • sam: i did the best with the resources i was given, which was nothing
  • mark: 'guitar solo' sounds lonely to me.. guess thats why im not a famous musician
  • frank: it's all fun and games until it's not that anymore
  • wadsworth: some people just want to watch the world burn, me i don't care either way
  • green: let's turn this sinking ship around and sink the other way

@koitoshi asked for Kenma and Kuroo wearing glasses and i was like siGN ME UP

anonymous asked:

I wish my boss wasn't such a cheapskate and would hire another worker because if someone calls in sick, then we are screwed for the rest of the day. I had a really bad cold which has now turned into a throat infection (meaning I'm coughing non-stop and can barely talk after 2 hours at work) and I can't even call in sick because we will be short staffed and I feel like I'm letting the team down.

Call in sick I’m sure they’ll understand. It seems that they should have noticed how bad sick you are at this point and you’re only going to get worse if you don’t rest. -Abby

okay but do you ever cry because Haymitch Abernathy

like do you ever just stop and think what it must have been like for him to have to mentor kids and watch them die, year after year, like the first year he was probably like “I survived, kids from 12 can survive, so maybe these two can” and he throws his whole heart and soul into it only to watch them die within the first couple hours

and the second year he’s like “that won’t happen again, no way” so he tries even harder and he coaches them and teaches them and then watches them die

and it goes on year after year, and sometimes he thinks “I know what my mistake was last year, I emphasized strength too much and cunning not enough” and then next year it’s vice versa and he tries different tactics but no matter what he does, the kids he’s trying to save always, always die

one year there’s a really smart girl who does really well and for the first time in years he has a glimmer of hope, and he teaches her everything he can think of and spends as much time with her to prepare her as physically possible, and she does well, so well, she makes it all the way to the last three Tributes only to die in some really stupid, bad luck, sort of way

so he starts refusing to go, but of course the Capitol won’t let him, they drag him out onto the stage and force him to go along with it and no matter how much he drinks to numb the pain it’s never enough

they can make him go but they can’t make him try, so eventually he stops trying

and the worst part is, he doesn’t even notice a difference, the kids still die whether he tries or not

this goes on for twenty-four years

and then Katniss and Peeta show up and he’s just like “lol nope” but then

then he realizes they actually have a chance, and he’s thought that before, there are other kids who have had a chance but still died, but Haymitch still picks himself back up, puts himself back together, starts approaching sponsors and trying to help them in the arena even though he knows they’re probably both going to die

but they actually win, and now they’re alive, but they’re stuck as mentors like him, and he’s honestly not sure which would be worse, because they’re alive but now they’re going to be broken down just as systematically and terribly as he was

IDK, I have a lot of feels, do you ever just cry because Haymitch Abernathy

Whenever I play the sr4 mission with Asha and it’s like “this is your EVIL twin who does everything BADDER and STUFF"but …. SR2 boss would have probably capped Matt in the forehead to get back at Asha if they were enemies… Or tbh done something worse… Like even the boss seems to realize this in a sense he doesn’t seem that outlandishly surprised that this twin did such a thing…

Maybe that’s the irony of Asha’s nightmare, that really the only real difference between Boss and Evil!Boss is which side she’s on. (And an eyepatch I guess)

anonymous asked:

Could you do an jack howard imagine where yn is watching spider man with jack and something happens and dean or Tom catch them

I had the biggest hangover. Last night is all a blur! No idea what happened or how I ended up in bed, someone must have either carried or dragged me!
I checked my phone to see what had happened in the night on twitter and tumblr. I had a text from Jack 
What you up to today? Also how’s the head?’
‘Dear Lord! I’m pretty sure Ive had the life taken out of me, I don't think I can move from bed…save me!' 
I rolled over to hide from the sunlight, I felt so sick, and every move I made made me feel worse! Then my phone buzzed again which made my head hurt 
On my way with films and cures for the headache :)’ 
Aw he was good to me, I tried to sleep a little longer, Dean or Beth would let Jack in anyway so I didn’t have to move. 
I was woken up by someone stroking my hair 
“You look like a piece of shit, how you feeling?” Jack was sat by my side, on my bedside table there was toast and a glass of orange juice
“I literally feel like death warmed up”
“Well you look like it too! Come on lets get you showered and back into bed shall we?” he smiled, helped me get to the bathroom and put the water on for me 
“I’ll let you do the rest, just don’t kill yourself in there alright” He closed the door behind him and I got into a nice hot shower. Lets steam this fucker! 
When I was all clean and back into some new pi’s I met Jack back in my room who was under the covers.
“You have a choice of movie, Captain America or Spider-Man" 
Even though Captain America was my favourite superhero I was going to have to say Spider-Man as Jack had been so nice to bring me all these things to make me feel better. 
He beamed with glee as he ran over to my tv to put the movie on. I struggled to climb back into bed without being sick. It was hard but I did it and could just snuggle up and try to eat some toast. 
Jack joined me back in bed 
"Uh I feel so sick!” I curled up into a ball 
“Oh sweetheart” He rubbed my back to make me feel better but it only made me feel worse. 
He cuddled up to me and gave me a big hug, we kind of just stayed in the position for the rest of the film, part way through I feel asleep but managed to wake up for the end credits
“You are the cutest thing when you sleep” He kissed the top of my head which I thought was sweet “You feeling better?”
“Much, thank you for being so awesome” I looked up to him and that moment when two people look into each others eye and you connect, like in the films. That made my stomach knot again but in a good way. He kissed me softly and I kissed him back. This wasn’t him taking advantage, who would do all this if there were no feelings involved. 
“WOAH!” Dean came into my room “I came in to see if you were alright! Did no expect that! Well I kind of did but still! she’s hanging to fuck!”
“Alright DEAN! get out will you fuck!” Jack and I laughed
“It was bound to happen sooner or later” I winked at Jack 
“Too right, even when you are hung over you’re still the prettiest thing I’ve seen”

andimeantittosting  asked:

Do you think the John in Mary's heaven was the real John, or a fantasy/memory. Obviously, the Sam and Dean in her heaven were memories, but I'm on the fence about John. I'm also not sure which would be worse. Would it be nicer for Mary if he was the real deal? On the other hand, the idea that John's heaven could include his kids at the last age when he was a decent father to them sends me into a rage. Would it be easier on Mary in the long run if she's not losing the real John with her heaven?

Ooh! Interesting! Because Mary knows intellectually that she was probably in Heaven for the last 33 years, but does she actually remember it? Sam and Dean were only ever able to recall that ONE trip to heaven in 5.16 because God wanted them to remember. Every other character, upon resurrection, didn’t. Charlie recalled a little bit about celebrating Christmas with her parents, but she was also only “dead” for a minute or two, and to her it felt like a dream.

I had been assuming that Mary didn’t actually recall her 33 years in heaven, because the last thing she’d remembered was burning on the ceiling. There was even a creepy flashback to Sam’s nursery in the episode, where her memories of That Night in 1983 were overlaid atop the creepy doll in the crib in the present. She’s also read the journal, where I’m sure Sam and Dean have recorded what they know about heaven, that souls relive their “happiest memories.” And likely extrapolated out what she would’ve likely been reliving there. Here’s what she actually said:

Dean: It’s okay, you’re home now.
Mary: No. I’m not. I miss John. I miss my boys.
Sam: We’re right here, mom.
Mary: I know. In my head. But I’m still mourning them, as I knew them. My baby Sam. My little boy Dean. I just feels like yesterday. (pause) We were together in heaven, and now I’m here, and John is gone, and they’re gone. And every moment I spend with you reminds me of every moment I lost with them. (long pause) And I thought hunting, working would clear my head.
Sam: Mom, what are you trying to say?
Mary: I have to go. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I just need a little time. 

I’m not entirely sure she does remember her heaven, but at the very least, she remembers what her life had been just a week before. Because her very real family that she’d had, her little boys and her husband, were just gone. And she can’t reconcile that with everything that’s happened in between.

I think that’s why she took the journal. Yes, she’s still mourning the loss of her old life, but taking the journal is her attempt to try and reconcile all of what she lost with her new reality, through the words documenting the 33 years she’s missed out on.

And I’m basing this partly on my FIRM BELIEF that John and Mary may have loved each other, but they were NOT soul mates. I don’t believe they shared a heaven. If there was a version of John in her heaven (and I’m not convinced that Mary actually does recall her time in Heaven yet), it would’ve been as “real” as the version of Sam and Dean in that heaven. I.e., not real at all. Only her idealized version of the small children she’d known in life. The real Sam and Dean were still down here on Earth growing into the men we know today.

The way she pauses after she says, “It just feels like yesterday.” Because when she first appeared she was still wearing a nightgown. She was confused, and still thought it was November 2, 1983. To her, IT WAS YESTERDAY. Then she sort of tentatively offers the bit about heaven, but also to her, she had been living a happy life (usually… maybe sometimes… I mean John had fallen asleep in front of the TV that night while Mary was upstairs in bed alone… I think she’s still partly coming to grips with the fact that her marriage really wasn’t perfect, despite feeling love for John, you know? Hence why she’s removed her wedding ring and hung it on a chain around her neck. She’s still holding on to it but she’s put some distance there while she’s trying to reconcile it all). But without a doubt she loved her children, so much that she’d spent her entire married life LYING TO HER HUSBAND ABOUT HER OWN PAST as if she could somehow bury the truth far enough down to stop any of them ever falling into the hunting life that she was so desperate to escape.

So… in some ways I think this is yet another parallel to Hugo Moriarty, the ghost that possessed her. I’ve already discussed how the ghost could be seen as a John mirror (greedily holding on to the souls of innocent children, binding them to him in his grief), as a Dean mirror (holding on to a false sense of the past and finally being forced to face the truth), but he ALSO works as a painful mirror for Mary.

The dude was driven mad with grief and literally walled himself up in an attempt to cling to the past, to a lost child, and starved himself to death. And that is sort of what Mary’s feeling here, too. Her kids are lost to her forever. She’s been “walled up” for the last 33 years holding on to ghosts of who they were when she’d tucked them in, but suddenly she wakes up what feels like the very next morning, and they’re older than she is. She doesn’t know how to relate to them. She’s broken down the wall and being confronted with reality. And she feels guilty because of her role in John discovering hunting to avenge her death, and her children having grown up in this life that she’d spent 10 years pretending did not exist… Basically her whole life with John had been a lie, and she’s also being forced to confront all the baggage that goes along with that, with her past choices that have led them all here.

Just as much as Dean’s idealized memories of Mary have been knocked down one by one now that he’s being forced to reconcile them with the REAL person that Mary was, Mary’s truly starting from a blank slate here in trying to reconcile the lives her sons have led with the idealized life she’d wanted to give them when they were babies.

So, to sum up: IF Mary is actually recalling what she’d experienced in Heaven (which I am SUPER DUBIOUS about), I’m almost entirely positive that any version of John she’d experienced there was from one of these “lying to herself” moments. For her, the story became the story. And she’s had less than a week in show-time to begin to reconcile ALL of this (essentially 43 years worth of history, 10 of which she was alive for between the time she made her deal with Azazel in 1973 and her death in 1983, and then the 33 years since her death that she can’t even begin to wrap her head around yet).

How are you?
Good, I say
as an automatic response
because that’s what adults always said,
clipping on the question after Hello,
rarely ever catching your answer as they move on
as if it were a statement more than a question of concern.

How are you?
Good, I say
even though everything is but;
concealing the darkness with artificial light;
because if you say something other or act differently than
Good with a convincing smile and slight nod
what would unravel would take too much effort
or worse yet, the other person wouldn’t care.

How are you?
Good, I say
cringing at how exposed I am
in these daily social interactions,
conversations which should be smooth; natural,
but start with my stuttering, my mumbling, 
and ending with my incoherence and regret.

How are you?
Good, I say
because I hope I am.

anonymous asked:

Tw: abuse, csa, incest, the miasma conversation. Hi, so I've read Krasskova post about miasma and it made me feel horrible, she mentions a book describing abuse and how impure and unbalanced it made her feel. All I could remember is that I had an abusive childhood, not just read a book, I lived through abuse and incest, I have always felt dirty, it's what many survivors feel, I'm mentally ill so unbalanced is a part, should I avoid gods forever? It was a struggle already and now I feel worse.

IMHO, Krasskova’s opinions on miasma strongly resemble Catholic opinions on certain media being “sinful” and leading to “impurity”, something that I would argue really has no place in many polytheistic traditions. I’m pretty sure she’s just practicing Catholicism where “Odin” has replaced “God” at this point.

You are not bad because you have experienced these things. Heck, some deities are abuse survivors (Njord and Loki come to mind). If abuse makes you dirty (which it doesn’t) they’re dirty, I’m dirty, everyone is dirty together, but it doesn’t, and you’re not dirty and most deities will think you are great, just as you are.

Krasskova’s being an ableist assnugget who really doesn’t give a fuck about disabled people or trauma survivors. She’s not worth your time and energy.

You are not dirty, got it? You are not dirty.