Ok, I am dying with Cas feels as per usual, but it was dean that broke my heart in this ep. Dean, whose greatest fear is telling people how much he cares and then them leaving him. Cas did what he feared most- but Dean is so sure of Cas he didn't shut him out like he did other times people do that. He just got angry and set out to find him. yes, to kick his feathery butt, but also- he actually went? He refused to let cas leave him? just??? feelings ******
GOD it’s like!!! Castiel did literally everything wrong in this episode as far as Dean goes. He acknowledged that he did receive the voicemails Dean was leaving, and he still didn’t pick up his phone. He comes back to the bunker and gains Dean’s trust back by falling into some quiet intimacy when the two of them are alone, and then he betrays that trust by stealing from him in the same moment. He, for all intents and purposes, steals the Impala. The IMPALA. After Dean handed him the keys. These are all Dean’s biggest pain points and insecurities! And Dean fixes Castiel’s stupid truck and he follows him because it’s literally the only thing to do.
But it’s not just obligation. It’s obviously not. Because when Dean thinks Castiel is about to die, he still screams. “No!!!” He’s clutching his broken arm, sprawled in the dirt, and all Dean can worry about is Castiel’s wellbeing. After Castiel pulls out a win - finally, fuck - Dean walks toward him in almost a daze. After everything, he still trusts Castiel to put his hands on him and heal him, so he lets him. This episode hurt like hELL, but mostly because Dean isn’t running away. He isn’t letting GO. This episode put at its forefront the struggle of Castiel proving his devotion to the Winchesters, but through showing and not telling it was also about the Winchesters’ (Dean’s) devotion right the fuck back at Castiel.
Like, guys. He made him a mix tape.