I'm gonna be honest that the quote about Liam and the baby made me doubt a bit but your blog always helps me and reassures me. But I also like to hurt myself so I listened to the audio and if the audio came out before that quote I wouldn't have doubted for a second. Melly, Liam can barely sell it unless it's on print. I can't help laughing cause he seemed like he forgot his lines. Live interviewers are so telling
Here’s the thing! No matter how many Cherliam Lifetime Original Movie moments Team solo!Loammy have spun in the last two weeks, that’s still not going to make me and my Boobs Instincts forget the Lemony Snickett of fuckiness that occurred before that baby was born.
Let us put on our best Investigation Bras and go on a Journey of Fuckiness:
- Cherliam was announced as a Dan Wootton Hoofsclusive (February 27)
- The CheriamNews update account was created 2 full days prior to the Dan Wootton article revealing them as “secret lovers” (ohmygod i cannot type that with a straight face)
- Cheryl and Liam’s relationship immediately gets called out for being fake, because duh:
- But not before grossing everyone out by spinning a romance narrative that featured a 24 year old Cheryl and a 14 year old Loammy
- Cheryl’s 874 year long pregnancy begins, with pregnancy headlines running almost immediately, beginning in March 2016. Bump watch headlines begin in May:
- Which then leads to another Dan Wootton Hoofsclusive from a “source”
that was 100% Cheryl that they were “trying” for a baby (never mind that they were dating for 10 minutes or that she was still legally married or that he was embarking on a solo career or who the fuck would announce to Dan Wootton they were “trying” for a baby in the first place ):
- Cheryl was baiting the press before she was even pregnant by wearing sack dresses one day with hand pressed to her belly, and the next wearing well tailored outfits. While all this was happening, she was also selling stories to the tabloids almost daily while simultaneously calling for her privacy. I can’t.
- Through all of this, Loammy is only seen with Cheryl a small handful of times, having fucked off to LA for almost the entirety of her 874 year long pregnancy. To try and mitigate that, daily stories are run that seed reasons for Loammy’s absence during her pregnancy and for why Loammy won’t be present for raising that baby shortly after its born.
But sure, nothing to see here, everything looks totally unsuspish and unfucky!