i'm not sure if this is hilarious or just really bad

the signs as Rick and Morty quotes
  • Aries: I've got about a thousand memories of your dumb little ass and about six of them are pleasant, the rest is annoying garbage!
  • Taurus: Get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it's together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know? Take it to the Shit Store and sell it, or put it in a Shit Museum, I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together.
  • Gemini: Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe because I'm the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.
  • Cancer: Aw, man. I really liked this life. Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants.
  • Leo: Whatever you're asking, the answer is I'm amazing.
  • Virgo: What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
  • Libra: Yeah sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad.
  • Scorpio: I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior. If I were you I wouldn't pull that thread.
  • Sagittarius: You gotta flip 'em off, I told them it means "peace among worlds", how hilarious is that!
  • Capricorn: Don't waste your brain on those weirdos... They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful, and then because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful.
  • Aquarius: Okay, well...sometimes science is more art than science. Lot of people don't get that.
  • Pisces: Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

anonymous asked:

Heeey. Sorry if I disturb you by something or anything but could you maybe list some good shows? (It's not a must that LGBT couples are included) thanks a lot ❤️❤️💫

Hi, Anon! 

You’re not disturbing!

So I’m the type of person that watches a pretty random variety of shows so I’m not sure what your taste leans toward exactly. 

If you have any suggestions, make a comment or drop me a message with the show and why you like it! And if you want, make a suggestion on how to make this list better!

** Is for shows other people suggest to me. I’ll comment if I’ve heard of it or seen any of it. 

*I’ll try to put if it’s LGBT friendly. And also I want to put down if it’s diverse or not and a note if you suggest a show is diverse…I’m looking for either the main character that is a POC or more than 1-2 minor characters that show up often enough to make a difference to the plot. Don’t tell me a show is diverse if it’s 3 black characters are just window-dressing…👀

Let me see what I can remember and rec those and what I tried and didn’t like. 

  • -Shadowhunters: I love this trash show. It’s actually not all that great but it’s got some absolute gems of characters you end up watching it for anyway. I def recommend but S1 was watched with a ton of skip Clary/Jace scenes for me. This is LGBT friendly and diverse.  
  • -Riverdale: I tried man, I used to read Archie comics when I was younger but um, this show…I think it’s supposed to be ironically pretentious? It just falls flat for me tbh. It’s popular though so you can check a couple of episodes out to see if it’s your thing. There’s an openly gay character in this that should get more story than he does. Also, kind of LGBT baits too at times so not sure if I trust them completely. 
  • -The Expanse: My sci-fi pick. I love this show. It’s gorgeous, diverse, rich story, funny without trying too hard. I just get sucked into every character. It had one older married gay couple that was really minor characters but I don’t recall any current mains that are. But It’s an inclusive show so I don’t think it’s particularly averse to the idea. Based on books I haven’t read yet! 
  • -Veep: This is like a completely meant-to-be-offensive comedy show with the amazing Julia Louis-Dreyfus. While I wasn’t in love with the last 2 seasons, the first 4 are amazing. No clear cut character you root for in particular but it’s so close to politics you can’t help but laugh/cry. Watch it for the absolutely unapologetic legendary burns. Also, has a lesbian couple in it although it’s offensive comedy so prepare for that.
  • -Archer: Also another meant-to-be-offensive show that’s hilarious but so terrible and inappropriate. I don’t usually like that kind of comedy but I binge watched this when I was sick and got hooked. 
  • -Vikings: I love this show. If you like Game of Thrones, you’ll like this one only it’s got less nudity and more idgaf fight scenes. It’s got brilliant characters, beautiful battle scenes, really interesting storylines, and just good snarky humor. Watch it! Also, they’re not shy about same-sex couples even if they don’t explicitly say it. 
  • -Mr. Robot: Really good show, very different and…I actually don’t know how to describe it? The main has mental health issues. It’s a sociopolitical commentary type show. It’s about hacking and network security and corporation conglomerates in control of our everything and the fight against it. Also from @cherryrebel : mr robot has a shit ton of diversity in both race and lgbt, the lead is mixed race but the actor is egyptian, tyrell is bisexual, gideon is gay, angela, elliot and darlene are implied being lgbt+, i think i’m forgetting about someone but watch that show, it’s the shit 
  • -Legion: A superhero show that’s so incredibly NOT like the other superhero shows. You'll find yourself in a serious mind trip thinking you’re the one that’s crazy. But it’s really really good. Go watch. 
  • -Mozart in the Jungle: About a bunch of musicians and a crazy conductor you absolutely love. It’s really good. LGBT friendly! And diverse-ish.
  • -Luther: One of the best crime shows in my opinion. Idris Elba just does things and you will want to watch him do it. Anything he does is beautiful and brilliant. But the show actually IS brilliant and amazing and go watch!! 
  • -This is Us: one of those, where-the-hell-did-you-come-from?? shows. Really heartfelt stories that make you laugh, cry, and go aww a million times. 
  • -Killjoys: Another sci-fi show I love. It’s got diversity and great characters and great action and story. 
  • -True Detective: Crime detective show. It’s great, very gritty and serious but good stories and character-driven. 
  • -Humans: Sci-fi show about android robots that are part of normal life- they look human and are basically live in maids. Only five of these have consciousness. Really good UK show. Diverse AND LGBT friendly!
  • -Broadchurch: Another good UK crime show. Slow and gripping. @iamacolor mentioned a lesbian character in this one too. LGBT friendly.
  • -The Americans: Russian sleeper spies in America that lead normal lives, have American children, and are like totally Russians carrying out secret missions. 
  • -The Get Down: Great show that was recently canceled :( has about 1 season out. I’m not sure how to describe it and do proper justice. It’s lovely though with amazing characters. Also, LGBT friendly and clearly diverse!
  • -Stranger Things: Great show sci-fi mystery thriller type show. 
  • -Dear White People: Black college students from all kinds of backgrounds dropping truth bombs all around and being amazing. Also LGBT friendly. Go watch. It’s a balanced show with amazing characters. So both diverse AND LGBT friendly!
  • -Brooklyn Nine-Nine: an Amazing funny cop show that manages to be winsome, hilarious, endearing, quirky, diverse, balanced, and just amazing all around. V. LGBT friendly. 
  • -Fresh Off the Boat: Asian family comedy show that’s endearing and hilarious. (Also check out Jane the Virgin for crazy telenovela-esque antics that are hilarious and cute). 
  • -Orphan Black: Sci-fi show about clones. A really amazing show, LGBT friendly. Great story AMAZING characters…most of which is played by one woman. Diverse and LGBT friendly.
  • -Preacher: Great show based on the graphic novel…uhh not sure how to describe it but it’s good. Reth Negga is in it!! 
  • Also adding Sense8 for its LGBT and diversity. Good show but I’ve heard something about the directors/producers being racist? Not sure so I’m recommending with caution because the show itself esp s2 where the nonwhite characters got a better fleshed out plot is good. But since I don’t know what the producers/directors have done, I’m giving a heads up for someone else to fill me in.
  • Poldark: I just started this one 2 days ago. 2 episodes in I’m really enjoying it. It’s from PBS’s Masterpiece series. Aiden Turner as a Cornishman is delicious. So far I adore his wife and immensely enjoying yet another period show.  
  • Grantchester: Adding this to the list after I discovered it on my prime account. I’m only one season in and I love Sydney Chambers and his gruff buddy cop Geordie? This isn’t a show that is going to have you sitting on the edge of your seat. It’s totally a procedural type of show. But it’s characters are likeable, it’s story feels comfortable, and honestly, if it’s a shitty day for you and you just want something that’s easy? This is it. @iamacolor  :)

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nursey week day 1 - silence

Nursey hadn’t prepared for how weird this would feel. He only played with Jack for one year, after all. He shouldn’t be that weirded out by seeing him across the ice during warm-ups. He is, though, and he’s not quite sure why. Maybe it’s because Jack was his first real captain, or maybe Jack had pretty much become synonymous with NHL for Nursey these past three years. Like playing Jack makes it official, like he’s really in the big leagues now.

He’s more nervous than he’d like to admit.

Jack talks to him a little during warm-ups, both of them standing at center ice. It’s mostly terrible chirps on Jack’s end and then a weird, tense moment where Jack had said “Welcome to the show, Nursey,” and patted him on the back and Nursey had to remember that he’s not supposed to cry on the ice, especially before the game even starts.

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anonymous asked:

yo mom! I sent an ask to you earlier but tumblr is glitchy af so I'm not quite sure if it sent,, anyway sorry if it actually did and I'm just annoying you, but could you write a kihyun friends-to-lovers au? thanks <3

find shownu (here), wonho (here) & changkyun (here)

  • you and kihyun are similar in the way that you two are always trying to play matchmaker for people and are kind of,,,,romantics,,,,, 
  • so minhyuk,,,,who knows you from his childhood introduces you to kihyun one day because apparently you two are trying to hook him up with the same person
  • and minhyuk thought that was hilarious
  • while you and kihyun,,,,literally on your first meeting,,,,,debated who had the right to wingman minhyuk in this situation
  • let’s just say it,,,,,,,,,was a hilarious way to start a friendship 
  • but since then you and kihyun have given each other a bet: whoever could help the other one find love first,,,,,,,,would be declared the better matchmaker
  • and it’s friendly competition,,,,,that’s aLL IT IS 
  • even if that means you ended up at kihyun’s place once watching ‘the notebook’ and crying into each other’s arms,,,,
  • or that other time you were having bad thoughts about an ex of yours and kihyun spent his entire paycheck on taking you out to this new amusement park and letting you splurge on food, games, and matching cat ear headbands
  • nope you guys were just doing this as /friends/ even better as /friendly rivals/ in this bet you had going on
  • and to be honest,,,,,,,every time either of you sets up a date for the other somehow,,,,,,you both know it’s not going to end in anything
  • BECAUSE YOU SECRETLY LIKE EACH OTHER AND EVERYONE  CAN TELL EVEN SHOWNU 
  • i mean what i mean you both know it’s not going to end in anything and you crack jokes about it
  • and like the dates usually leave because,,,,,,surprise surprise instead of learning more about your date you’re texting kihyun about memes,,,,,
  • and at some point you realize,,,,,you don’t want to go on dates anymore and you don’t want to keep setting kihyun up because,,,,
  • you know you won’t care for your date and you know,,,,,you’ll fret about kihyun’s because what if this is the one 
  • the one you win the bet with and then lose your chance
  • so you agree to go on this one last date,,,,but you plan to tell kihyun that when it’s over you want to just call off the bet
  • until you actually get to the meeting spot
  • and it’s near the fountain in the middle of this big park and you’re wrapping your arms around yourself because,,,,it’s cold dammit kihyun why’d you tell this dude to meet you here at like 9 pm
  • but then you feel a tap on your shoulder and you turn,,,,,,,only to see kihyun there,,,,,,
  • in his hands are roses,,,,,,and he’s got this really sheepish look on his face that you’ve never seen before
  • and you’re like ????? and kihyun is like “,,,,it’s,,,,it’s me. im you’re date.”
  • and for a moment you think he’s pulling a prank but you see the tint of pink on his cheeks,,,,illuminated only by the street lamps around the fountain and the park
  • and you can’t think of anything to say except,,,,,,,,,
  • “thank god.”
  • and kihyun bursts out laughing and is like have you been waiting for this day to come???? and you’re like doNT act like you haven’t either
  • and he nods,,,handing you the roses and you’re like “,,,,,kihyun,,,,,”
  • and he’s like hmm do you not like roses? im pretty sure you do you told me like five times that if someone gets you something like daisies it’s -
  • but you’re just like “no not that,,,,,,kihyun,,,,,we’re both such fools aren’t we?”
  • and kihyun tilts his head but you’re like “can you believe we both tried to matchmake each other even though,,,”
  • “even though we were obviously the perfect pair? i know,,,,we are kind of,,,,,,,,,dumb,,,,”
  • and you bite back your lip and suddenly you see kihyun shrug off his jacket and come closer to drape it around your shoulders saying under his breath that he saw you shivering when he was walking over
  • and you’re like “no need to act smooth kihyun, im already unfortunately in love with you”
  • and kihyun is like “UNFORTUNATELY???” 
  • but you know you’re both joking and when he holds your hand in his you finally feel good,,,,,because you’re not worried about your date or his date,,,,,
  • because you both know that this is the start of something that is actually going to last,,,,,,,,,
  • minhyuk prides himself on being the best matchmaker in the end and saying he won the bet because he introduced you and kihyun LOL 

skye07  asked:

Ohhh!!! you wrote the knitting Tony story!!!! I've been hunting that story for a long time!!! (was on a reading spree on your Tony tag, I'm having a swell of a time) So HOW ABOUT!! Someone finding or just ended up in Tony's stash room (it might be a floor if we are being honest, I would with his resources). I am salivating just imaginging the AMOUNT of yarn Tony must have collected, of all colours and types. Just, please. I would love you even more if you decide this prompt worthy~~

You mean that story I sent to bloody-bee-tea about Tony knitting? I’m surprised I haven’t written more Tony knitting, tbh. Hope you like it! Look out for under the cut!

This work can also be found on my Ao3 here.


Natasha had been investigating her new home when she stumbled into it. The room was gigantic, cube shelves covering the walls. Every single shelf had balls of yarn in it, starting with red in one corner and spreading in a circular rainbow of yarns, except for the few columns of shelves that were filled with needles, hooks, counters of some sort?

Natasha felt nervous for a reason she couldn’t explain. Perhaps because this room felt deeply personal? That the person who had set it up had taken time to organize it just right?

She stayed just long enough to tuck a gun under some soft yarn before she left. Each room needed at least one weapon hidden in it.


“Why would you ever need this in my stash?” Tony complained, shoving the gun into her hands. “You can use literally anything in there as a weapon. The straight needles can be used to stab people and the circular needles can be used as garrotes. My double-pointed needles can be used in close combat. And if your attacker is allergic to wool, he’s gonna be in for a bad time.”

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anonymous asked:

How would everyone (V too) react to being in a (ง'̀-'́)ง big argument with MC... but out of nowhere she starts swearing in spanish? Hahahaha I'm Mexican and think this would be hilarious, it's canon that at least most of us mexicans swear a lot (sorry for the bad english)

Author’s note: I love this request so much omg I DIDN’T DO IT ENOUGH JUSTICE

Yoosung

  • HE WAS ACTUALLY SO CONFUSED
  • IT WAS SO FUNNY
  • “MC can you just-”
  • “I can’t understand you please-”
  • “Slow down I don’t know what’s happening-”
  • finally you just stopped and stared at him, waiting for a response
  • “I-I, uhh, lo siento?”
  • he took college Spanish have mercy on this child

Zen

  • when the first Spanish cuss word came out of your mouth, one thought crossed his mind
  • she’s so hot
  • BUT THAT DIDN’T STOP HIM FROM YELLING AT YOU IN FRENCH bc two can play at that game
  • so now you’re both standing in the middle of the living room, screaming at each other in two different languages, neither of you knowing what the other was saying
  • of course him yelling in french was super hot too
  • so finally, you took the initiave and shut him up with a kiss
  • “Bedroom?”
  • “Bedroom.”
  • I mean who doesn’t love make up sex

Jaehee

  • she tried to pull out her English to Spanish dictionary but you were going too fast
  • poor bby haD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO SHE JUST WATCHED AS YOU GOT MORE AND MORE INTO YOUR WORDS
  • the whole time she just kept messing with her glasses bc WHAT DO I DO IN THIS SITUATION
  • but she was also super fascinated because you were just so energetic  and passionate and
  • yup she definitely loves you more than a friend bye 

V

  • he is just like wat
  • BC HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE DID
  • YOU JUST WENT OFF ON HIM
  • “MC.”

  • “MC.”

  • “MC-“
  • “WHAT?”
  • “Uhh… why are you yelling at me in Spanish?”
  • “I’M NOT YELLING, I’M CUSSING!! AND I’LL GLADLY TRANSLATE FOR YOU, YOU SON-“
  • Nononono, I mean, why are you yelling at me at all??”
  • “Oh. You didn’t help me with the groceries and I asked you like FIVE TIMES!!!!! I MEAN COME ON, QUE CABR-“
  • And good job V
  • There she goes again

Jumin

  • when you started swearing in Spanish he just sat back and watched
  • anD MY GOD SEEING HIS SMIRKY LITTLE SMILE
  • AND HIS SMUG LITTLE FACE
  • JUST PISSED YOU OFF MORE
  • when you finally stopped to catch a breath you glared at him
  • “Are you done yet?”
  • “Sure.”
  • he stood up and kissed your forehead
  • “I spent four months in Mexico on a business trip.”
  • “So… you understood?”
  • Every word.”

707

  • once you started cussing
  • and you kept walking toward him and using your hands to talk
  • HE SWORE HE WAS GOING TO DIE OH MY GOD
  • and that’s when he dropped to his knees and grabbed onto your leg
  • “MC, I AM SO SORRY, I AM SORRIER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN!!!!! JUST PLEASE DON’T KILL ME WITH YOUR MYSTICAL SPANISH POWERS.”
  • this dork
  • you literally stopped mid-sentence and stared at him
  • I mean did he really just say mystical Spanish powers
Love And All The Other Intangibles

Eric is six and on December 24th he spends most of his time in the kitchen with his mama rolling out pie dough and dropping biscuits onto baking sheets.

The rest of the family is in the backyard playing touch football. 

“You can go out and play, sweetheart,” Suzanne tells him as she wipes her hands on her apron.

From where he’s perched on the counter he has a clear view out the kitchen window.

He watches his twelve year old cousin, Sean, tackle his seven year old cousin, Peter. It’s a big hit and it takes a minute for Peter to get up.

All of the adults crowd around him and slap him on the back when he finally gets to his feet. He’s sure Coach tells him to walk it off and his Uncle Steve tells him to take it like a man.

No one reprimands Sean or even reminds him that that they’re not supposed to be hitting each other.

Eric looks down at the apples slices that he’s carefully layering into the crust and swings his legs.

“It’s more fun in here,” he says and Suzanne kisses his forehead and starts rolling out the top crust.

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saiki kusuo/hp crossover where saiki is reincarnated as harry potter with all his memories intact, and the “power the Dark Lord knows not” is just saiki’s ungodly arsenal of psychic powers. 

points: 

  • the dursleys are the worst kind of bullshit saiki has ever seen, and saiki either a) puts an end to it within the first few days, or b) just straight up leaves, no one finds him until he’s twelve and it’s time for him to attend hogwarts 
  • “you have been accepted into the hogwarts school of w–” [saiki incinerates the letter in his hand and goes back to reading his book] 
  • saiki’s greatest ambition in life is to live a perfectly normal, unassuming, peaceful, boring life. an ambition so great it immediately lands him in slytherin. 
  • saiki finds himself saddled with every awful “chosen one” trope that has ever graced the earth. he thought being the protagonist of a gag manga was bad but this is worse
    • this is so much worse, he can’t even play along with the narrative anymore. he is going to turn this into a comedy if it kills him
    • saiki surreptitiously solving the problems of everyone around him. finding neville’s toad. making sure people’s potions don’t explode. dragging draco malfoy’s broom back down to earth when he tries to show off during the first broom riding class. saiki is not going to tolerate any bullshit and he most certainly is not going to tolerate anyone trying to go into the third floor corridor
    • and you know what, since quirrell and voldemort are apparently sharing a body (which – how, actually, it’s so disgusting he doesn’t want to know–) he might as well take care of the problem within the first week of school 
    • voldemort shows up again second year. WHAT THE FUCVK
  • all of his dorm mates are intolerable, and saiki very quickly figures out a system where he will pretend to go to sleep in his dorm, but then he just teleports to an unused hufflepuff dorm and enjoys himself greatly on his own. a triumph. a triumph slightly ruined by the house elves knowing he’s there, but a triumph nonetheless. 
    • “but it’s impossible to apparate within the hogwarts castle!!” saiki stares hermione dead in the eye and then teleports anyways 
  • saiki is very carefully mediocre in every single one of his classes in an attempt to kill any notoriety that comes along with the name “harry potter.” except potions class, because snape always gives him a far worse grade than he deserves and saiki is a mean and spiteful soul. saiki makes a point to be the best god damn potions student that snape has ever had
  • fred & george weasley catch saiki doing something ridiculous with his powers, and they’ve been bothering saiki ever since. saiki is full of regret 
  • fourth yr: saiki stays far far far away from the triwizard tournament. he is perfectly happy when cedric is elected, and claps enthusiastically. the goblet of fire turns blue. it spits out his name. saiki is so furious the goblet of fire cracks in half 
  • but the most important part of this au is 
  • saiki with a wand 
  • he doesn’t even need a wand he’s just pretending to use it 
  • someone: augh, this levitating charm is so difficult! how does anyone do it?!
    saiki
  • this au is 9x better if you imagine that saiki doesn’t even have magic powers – he just has psychic powers, and he’s very good at pretending he has magic. except transfiguration, everyone thinks he’s a bad student cause he has never done a transfiguration spell in his life – but hermione is convinced he’s some kind of secret genius at wandless magic because she caught him levitating a book to himself in the library once. saiki has deliberately failed every magic task appointed to him in front of her since. hermione is convinced saiki is spiting is spiting her specifically by not doing well in class. she’s right 
  • EVEN MORE HILARIOUS TO CONSIDER: saiki doesn’t even bother pretending he has magic, he just shows up to hogwarts and never says anything and never talks to anyone else, he turns in impeccable classwork and homework, but he never performs a single spell because he doesn’t see the point. it gets to the point where the teachers are genuinely worried he might be…. perhaps… a squib? is he a squib? 
    • saiki figures it would be really troublesome to let this go on any longer, but he is also extremely against saying anything out loud ever, and he is also extremely against showing any wordless or wandless magic because who knows what kind of attention he’ll get then 
    • cue incident in class where a student’s spell goes wrong, badly, and everything is in chaos, and saiki is so tired he decides, fuck it, he does not want to deal with this today, and he uses his psychokinesis to forcibly subdue everything that is going wrong. he’s in the corner of the classroom, so he thinks he’s safe & no one will notice – but nope. professor flitwick noticed. professor flitwick is staring at him with starry eyes. god damn it 
    • saiki briefly considers erasing flitwick’s memory of the event, but, well, if flitwick tells the other teachers about what he saw then no one will wonder if saiki is a squib anymore. probably. 
    • but you know what would be great? if everyone thought saiki was a squib and he got fucking chosen by the goblet of fire. everyone riots 
  • there are so many good things that could happen when you combine saiki’s deadpan self + sheer OP ability with the entire ridiculous hp universe and i love it

anonymous asked:

RFA + V + Saeran reacting to an MC who just got stung by a wasp or bee? I recently got stung by a wasp and now my hand is all swollen ^^;;

Oh no! I consider myself lucky because I have yet to bee stung (hahahahah get it) and I hope I never will that shit looks painful T.T Did you clean the wound properly? Apparently honey really helps to soothe stings, but don’t use it if you’re allergic! I hope you get better soon ~

Also sorry but for now even if it’s a long post, I’m not going to put anything under a cut. I don’t want to risk losing any more of my stuff =.=

-Sevensity




Yoosung:

Happened to my bro when he was like 8, we were in my Gradmother’s garden and wanted to catch butterflies, so my bro saw a bumblebee and he was like “it’s fuzzy, colorful, and flies…therefore it’s a butterfly” bless his soul

  • Summer had arrived, and with it came a clear, breezy day, that weather where the sun warms you up but the wind cools you down at just the right moment
  • It was a perfect time to go butterfly catching
  • So collected your net, sunscreen, food, and one (1) Yoosung before precipitating yourself towards a nearby park
  • Tbh he didn’t really want to participate because he’s scared of hurting the butterflies oh my god hold me back this boy is so precious
  • But he was fine cheering you on from the sidelines, after all your happiness is his happiness
  • It wasn’t long before you spotted a Monarch butterfly perched atop a nearby flower bush, and in one fell swoop, you catch it in your net
  • Yoosung is like woah that’s my girl look at her what a pro
  • But you hadn’t thought that there might be other small critters lying among the flowers
  • So as you reached over to close the net, you felt a sharp pain in the meaty part of your palm
  • Yoosung appeared right beside you before you could even start to cry, pulling an emergency med kid out of his backpack as he took your hand in his and begins to treat your wound
  • “It’s okay, don’t cry,” he said, kissing your brow.  Although Yoosung was a bit nervous since the love of his life was in pain, his words were so soft and soothing that as they washed over you, the pain gradually faded and you were left with nothing but the warmth of his hand over yours
  • For the next few days, Yoosung constantly checked up on you, and told you to limit the use of your hand
  • He applied ointment to prevent any swelling and discomfort, and basically just took such good care of you the wound vanished in a few days
  • You lowkey wanted to become an animal just so that you could visit Doctor Yoosung and have him treat you


Zen:

  • It was quite simple really, you were crouched in front of a flower bed, smelling their sweet fragrance, while Zen sat beside you, thinking about how much you looked like a flower fairy
  • But then a bee sorta plopped onto your thigh, and in your surprise, you tried to brush it off, but the bee ended up stinging you before it fell onto the ground
  • Your yelp of pain brought Zen back from his reverie, and he cradled you against his chest, asking you why you were suddenly crying
  • Babe I think something stung me and it really hurts
  • He went from 1 to 100 real quick, his eyes blazing in fury as he tried to find The Villainous One Who Injured My Princess™
  • He’s all like @ bee: (ง'̀-‘́)ง come at me u ‘lil bitch
  • Zen the bee is already quite dead
  • He whisked you away towards the nearest first aid station, and held onto you the entire time you were getting the sting cleaned up and covered
  • Insisted that he carry you home, because he seemed to be under the impression that if you walked, your leg might fall off
  • Once you got home, he placed you on the couch and ordered you to stay put for the rest of the day
  • But he knelt before you and…
  • Being the romantic bastard (I use this word in a nice way here don’t hate me) he is, Zen lifted your leg up to his lips and kissed the bandage
  • “From now on, I will not lose to anything.  No human, nor bug, nor any other formidable foe will ever hurt you again, be they large or small.”
  • I mean as sweet as that sounds, just imagine Zen hovering around you with an aerosol can in his hand whenever you go outside, constantly spraying bug repellent everywhere so it just sorta hangs around you like a cloud
  • Are you trying to poison me Zen do you really wanna pull some Romeo and Juliet shit Zen are you really that dramatic Zen

Jaehee:

  • At first, the both of you thought that adding tables outside the cafe for customers to use was a good idea
  • But neither of you thought of the horrible things leftover sweets attracted
  • One day, while you were clearing up a table littered with half-eaten cake on a side not who dares not finish their cake why would you even consider such a thing???, you picked up a plate an immediately dropped it after feeling something stabbing your finger
  • The plate shattered against the ground, and you felt your heart beating in your index finger
  • Jaehee never heard you cuss so loud
  • She rushed outside to see what all the commotion was about, and saw you clutching your hand, face red and eyes watering
  • Now Jaehee is smart, with just a single look, she can tell exactly what’s wrong
  • Baehee ushered you inside, telling you not to worry about the plate, not to worry about your finger, not to worry about anything because she is there and will take care of you
  • She apologized to the customers, saying that she had something important to take care of, and wouldn’t be available for a few minutes
  • In a flash, she had everything laid out and ready to use, carefully pulling out the wasp’s stinger, wrapping a hand towel around your finger before giving you ice
  • You felt bad for disrupting both of your work, but she again told you to stop fretting
  • She made you stay behind for half an hour, until the ice was almost completely gone, before allowing you to come back again
  • Though she insisted that you only use one had , and limit yourself to the smaller tasks
  • When you both went home that day, Jaehee settled you on her couch and declared that she was going to feed you herself
  • But Jaehee I have two hands you know
  • She wouldn’t hear any of it though
  • “Fine, then how about you use your other hand to feed me in turn?”
  • It turned into a fluff fest and ended with both of you giggling hard, chocolate pudding smeared across both of your faces, cheeks flushed, that day’s incident long forgotten 
  • Mmh and then Jaehee offered to “clean up” the pudding on your face, and so another sort of fest begun


Jumin:

  • I’m like 700% sure that he’s already safe-proofed his entire penthouse
  • There are no bugs, no critters to be seen anywhere, even out in the garden, the only insects you see are the harmless ones
  • I guess with money, anything really is possible
  • EXCEPT, bees
  • Jumin was aware how important bees were for the environments as well as his garden, so he allowed the existence of bees to continue in his otherwise no-bug haven
  • But this led him to the fake belief that bees were completly harmless creatures
  • I mean for the most part they are but accidents still occur
  • And an accident was exactly what happened when you wandered too close to a bee hive
  • Luckily, you managed to escape with only one sting (actually I heard that even if you aren’t allergic at first, if you’re stung multiple times you can develop an allergy and die???) but it still caused enough pain to make you tear up
  • Jumin Mental Equation: You+Crying+Swollen Arm= MC has a fatal illness
  • Rushed you to the hospital despite your complains
  • Jumin I need tweezers and an ice pack, not an X-Ray and an IV
  • Did feel a bit embarrassed when the doctor told  him it’s just a bee sting
  • He had his arm around you the entire day after that, except when you fell asleep in the afternoon
  • When you woke up, Jumin was nowhere to be seen
  • The guards said he was in the garden
  • As you approached that place, you heard his voice talking to someone
  • You peaked around the corner and
  • Ju MIN??!
  • This dude was wearing a beekeeper outfit, in a cutesy kitten pattern to boot
  • But what shocked you the most was that he was trying to have a discussion with the bee hive
  • Or maybe, telling the bees off for hurting you was more accurate
  • Which did nothing but aggravate said bees, who were now swarming around him in a rather angry manner
  • Jumin you’re an absolute dork but that’s part of the reason why I adore you so much


V:

  • Really though, unless he’s there with you when it happens, the blind man will not notice your injuries, even if you happened to get your head chopped off
  • That’s really sad actually
  • When you were out in the garden tending he flowers and got stung by a wasp, it hurt, but you were adamant about not letting V find out
  • Imagine how he would feel if you got hurt but he wasn’t there beside you?
  • So you were biting your lip, fighting back tears as you rushed to treat yourself, when V came in
  • “Sweetheart? What are you doing?” he asked after hearing you rummaging around in the cabinets for tweezers.
  • “Ah, um, nothing!”
  • He reached out for you, and instinctively you did the same
  • V’s fingers brushed against your swelling forearm, and felt you flinch away
  • He froze
  • “”Did you…did you injure yourself?”
  • “It’s…it’s nothing major, just a wasp sting.”
  • “Oh my God, MC I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize before, I’m so sorry I didn’t notice your pain.
  • The poor boy looked like he was about to cry, and clutched at his fkn gorgeous hair in distress
  • See this is exactly what I mean the poor man blames himself too much
  • You assured him that it was all okay, that you knew how to take care of your own wounds, and that if he wanted to make you feel better, he could stay near you
  • But after that incident, V suddenly decided to get the surgery
  • “What happens if something like this happens again,” he said, “I want to be able to prevent you from getting hurt again.”


Seven:

This happened to my friend in the same situation (except it was in a towel fort me and my friends had made),  we all found it so hilarious that even though she was crying from the pain, she still laughed along with us. What a touching story excuse me while I wipe away my tears

  • You managed to convince him to go to a public pool with you
  • Now this place had a really big grassy area with lots of shade, so you decide to sit down
  • But unluckily for you, you only wore your bathing suit and had your towel wrapped around your shoulders
  • And even more unluckily for you, there was a bumblebee bumbling around in your choice area to sit
  • Naturally, the little fuzzy fella was squashed to death, but not before his stinger was neatly lodged in your butt cheek
  • SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING OWWWW!!!!!!
  • The Defender of Justice Magically Appears!! He just kind of blinked at you while you were feeling up your butt tho
  • “Do you need some help with that, miss?”
  • Immediately became concerned when he saw you crying though, and pulled you into a tight embrace
  • “Honey what’s wrong?”
  • “S-Seven…I think I sat on a bumblebee.”
  • You felt him tense up
  • Then you felt him start to quiver
  • Bastard you better not be doing what I think you’re doing
  • Sure enough, Seven was trying to suppress his laughter, but when you pouted at him, he just couldn’t hold it in anymore
  • “Ahahaha! You sat on a bumblebee! I wonder what the view was like from down there…what did it see in it’s last moments? I bet it was a glorious sight to behold.”
  • You cheeky bastard pun 117% intended
  • Rest assured though, he gave you the best first aid care, especially given the location of your wound
  • After all was said done, Seven sighed wistfully and said, “But in all honesty, letting a bumblebee go somewhere so private…are you sure you weren’t having an affair?” also reference 249% intended
  • “No?”
  • “Good,” he says, leaning closer to your ear. “You better not bee.”
  • That night y’all watched The Bee Movie and he frequently whispered “That could be us but you playin’.”
  • What exactly he was insinuating, you did not know.


Saeran:

  • You went out to his favorite ice cream stall on a sweltering summer day
  • He went back for seconds while you waited at a nearby bench
  • Your hair fell over your shoulder as you leaned forward towards your half-eaten cone, so you lifted a hand to brush the locks back and –
  • OUCH!
  • You hadn’t noticed, but a sneaky wasp had flown into your hair, and you’d accidentally squished it a bit between your hair and collarbone
  • Real talk: when you get any sort of injury directly over bone, it fucking hurts
  • So when Saeran came back to see you crying, he was floored
  • Did I make her wait too long? Did someone hurt her? Did- wait what the hell is that?
  • He took one look at the swelling on your collarbone and decided that someone had tried to kill you
  • Ah Saeran, I’ve met a lot of people before who jump to the most unlikely conclusions possible but you reaaally take the cake
  • Though your tears weren’t something he wanted to see, so anxiously he patted your head and asked what happened
  • You explained to him, that you think you were stung by a wasp
  • Like Zen, Saeran looked around, trying to find someone to fight
  • Saeran who gives a damn about the wasp this sting hurts like a bitch
  • Tol bean wasn’t sure what to do though. There wasn’t no one to beat up, he he didn’t know how to take care of a wasp sting, and your crying was just making him want to cry
  • So Saeran, in a flurry, grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him
  • “It’s okay,” he said, “I know someone who can help. Just hang in there, okay?”
  • Saeran pls stop talking like I’m mortally wounded
  • With that he took off at break-neck speed in the direction of who knows where, pulling you along in his wake but shit this guy can go
  • Yeah, you still felt the throbbing pain beneath your neck, but Saeran ran so fast your were practically flying through the air behind him
  • A few minutes later, you found yourself at Yoosung’s doorstep, Saeran spamming the doorbell until a disheveled looking ray of sunshine boy opened the door
  • Without much grace due to his sheer panic, Saeran shoved you in front of him and yelled, “Please, help me! I don’t know what to do!”
  • When things calmed down a bit and the circumstances explained, Yoosung showed Saeran how to clean a sting wound, how to properly remove a leftover stinger as well as remedies to soothe the affected area
  • Yoosung teaching Saeran new thing, and Saeran absorbing it all with shining eyes was a really effective painkiller
  • Lol it was almost worth getting stung just to witness this moment 

anonymous asked:

Mom!!! Your blog literally makes my day every time I read one of your posts whether I'm crying or not (which btw totally emo over 9 years with shinee wow). can you do shinee on picture day (like for high school or college or something idk) if you haven't already?? p.s. I LOVE YOU

i am still emo over 9 year old babies, join me and my tears baby ILY2

onew:

  • his mom called him in the morning to make sure he looks presentable (onew: mom i’m in college pls / key: stop wearing a sweater vest rn)  
  • slept with wet hair and now the back of his head is just straight up flat and looks like a diamond facet and his bangs are sticking out in all the directions 
  • dunked his head real quick under the faucet for a do-over 
  • borrowed a straightener from someone on his floor 
  • carefully makes his hair v neat and straight 
  • maybe a bit too straight so he gelled it to the side (jong: look, a nerd) 
  • blinks when the flash goes off 
  • redo 
  • ~pretty eye-smile~ 

jonghyun:

  • shit he’s forgetting something isn’t he 
  • doesn’t know what it is but he can f e e l it 
  • hey kibum you look nice today (key: *up-downs him* it’s picture day and you are in sweats / jong: fuck let me borrow your shirt / key: lol you wish) 
  • struggles 
  • the top of of his sweatpants somewhat peeks out under the button-down that is now on his body bc he’s insisting on half-tucking it 
  • but better that than a sweatshirt with a giant dinosaur on it (key: *swallowed up in said giant hoodie* i am a ball of rage) 
  • beaming bc him and key are next to each other in the yearbook and they’re matching and that’s hilarious 
  • KIM TWINS 

key:

  • woke up really early to get ready 
  • 5am is too early to be woken up by psy’s “i luv it” (minho: *lobs something from across the room, still asleep* do nOT love it) 
  • has poses and the soft smile DOWN to a t 
  • put whitening strips on (minho: what’s on your teeth / key: shit i forgot to take them off after 30 mins) 
  • his teeth are sensitive af now and he can’t stop running his tongue over his gums 
  • 10/10 do not recommend 
  • prepared his bomb af outfit a week in advance 
  • super salty that jjong burgled away it away 
  • still wore it better tho 

minho:

  • wearing a polo shirt buttoned all the way up 
  • “it’s hard to breathe but i look nice” 
  • brought a pocket comb and has not stopped combing his hair since they got on line (taemin: *resisting the urge to ruffle his hair for the umpteenth time*)
  • when he sits for the pic, looks like a freaking statue 
  • 1. bc v handsome 
  • 2. he’s completely still
  • doesn’t even to blink (jong: ming pls your crazy eyes are showing) 
  • unfair how photogenic he is (onew: wanna share some of that talent with me??) 
  • bows and thanks the photographer who is maybe in love with him now 

taemin: 

  • the line for pictures is soooo long 
  • legs are tired so he sits down 
  • @ everyone looking at him: what
  • checks his face on his phone before his turn to fluff hair and make sure he licked off all the cookie crumbs 
  • sits on the stool but doesn’t know what to do with his hands 
  • didn’t realize that they would show up in the photo and now you can see him awkwardly cradling them in his lap (key: aw look at your baby hands / taemin: sTOP) 
  • says cheese when the flash goes off 
  • really hopes that his pics turned out okay this year 

anonymous asked:

i found a text post around tumblr where this guy's roommate came home really drunk and designed an airplane (with all the drawings and calculations and shit) while intoxicated and didn't remember it the next day could u imagine that with cf victor and yuuri tho lmfao

“Okay, okay, look,” Yuuri slurs, lying on Victor’s chest with a notepad held above his head and a pen resting between his fingers. “Look,” he repeats, as though Victor isn’t looking. “See?

“See what?” Victor asks, brushing Yuuri’s hair back out of his eyes. It’s not particularly comfortable, lying like this, but he’s not about to complain. Yuuri is adorable when he’s drunk.

He had been playing some game with Phichit for a few hours, and then he’d come back to their dorm room like this. Immediately, he’d collapsed on top of Victor and started babbling incessantly about a genius breakthrough he’d had. Now, he’s designing an airplane, and is very adamant that Victor pay attention to whatever it is he’s doing. “Look! Look!” he’s insisting.

“I’m looking,” Victor promises.

“See the, um, what’s that part called? The wing! See how the wing is shaped? Like that? That helps,” he informs him, but his serious tone is betrayed by his occasional hiccup. “Listen,” he repeats.

Victor can’t help but laugh, now. “I am listening, Yuuri. I’m listening and looking. I promise.”

“Now if we just… The air resistance…” He starts scribbling formulas.

In an attempt to get him to forget about his airplane, Victor runs his foot up the bottom of Yuuri’s sweatpants, drifts it across his ankle. Yuuri doesn’t even seem to notice. “So you’re designing an airplane?” he asks, because if you can’t beat them, join them.

Yuuri shifts on top of him–it’s incredibly distracting. “Mmm,” he agrees. A second later, he thrusts his drawing in front of him, admiring it. “Done.”

“Done?”

As if an afterthought, he adds a few more numbers with little arrows pointing to pieces of the plane. Then, he puts the paper down on the bed and turns onto his side, his entire weight still resting on Victor. Victor wraps his arms around him, keeps their legs tangled together. “Goodnight, Yuuri.”

“You’re so nice, Vitya,” he mumbles against Victor’s chest. “So nice. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

~

“Who wrote this?” Yuuri asks the following morning, holding up his airplane design. Then, he pauses, and slowly but surely brings the paper closer to his eyes. “This design is actually intuitive.”

“You made it last night,” Victor reminds him. “You don’t remember?”

“I made this?”

“You’re even smarter than me when you’re drunk,” he teases, gripping Yuuri’s hips with his hands and looking at the paper over his shoulder. “Except, there is a drool stain on my shirt.”

Yuuri turns in his arms and then cringes when he sees the prominent stain on Victor’s chest. Then, though, he seems to identify his mischievous smile and nudges his shoulder instead of being embarrassed. “Well, you’re a good pillow.”

“I like being your pillow. Can I major in that? Yuuri Katsuki’s pillow. Whenever you want to design airplanes while drunk again, just let me know. Or if you want to do something else while lying on top of me…” He pauses, lets the meaning behind his words settle in. “Let me know.”

“I’m up for doing something else while lying on top of you.”

Victor perks up. “You are?”

“Like playing games on my phone, reading a book, talking to Makkachin…”

“Yuuri.”

“I’m kidding.” He takes his hand and squeezes it, then leads him to the bed. “Really though, that design wasn’t bad. Remind me to show it to Phichit later.”

thewhoreofficial  asked:

Hi. I know you said not to ask for anything specific, but I'm not sure if this counts. Are there any fics where either Stiles or Derek has been working too hard?

thats not too specific :)

Hospitals are death traps for your dignity by Rena (1/1 | 2,524 | PG13)

Derek is a long-suffering and overworked nurse, Laura enjoys pimping her brother out to elderly hypochondriacs and Stiles seems to have made it his private mission to keep Derek running up and down the corridors like a headless chicken.
There’s a lot of secondhand-embarrassment going on.

Come Fly With Me (Or Don’t) by stilinskisparkles (1/1 | 15,319 | R)

Stiles is overworked and stressed out when his flight home gets delayed due to copious amounts of snow. He finds entertainment with one Derek Hale, whom he hasn’t seen since high school but really doesn’t mind getting reacquainted with.

Especially when it turns out Derek is surprisingly hilarious and will reluctantly play snap with him. And can walk on his hands.

Effervescent by SCS12 (12/12 | 25,564 | PG13)

First, he is preternatural. Second, he’s an overworked doctoral candidate whose mother is dead and father is police commissioner. Third, he was rudely attacked by a vampire, breaking all standards of etiquette. Where to go from there? From bad to worse apparently, because Stiles accidentally kills the vampire - and then the appalling Agent Derek Hale (loud, messy, gorgeous, and werewolf) is sent by the FBI to investigate.

The One Where Stiles Thinks Derek is a Drug Lord (and he kind of is) by Triangulum (1/1 | 1,642 | NR)

Stiles gapes. “You’re not just A drug lord, you’re THE Drug Lord! You’re the only major dealer in Beacon County that they haven’t caught yet!”

“The Beacon Hills Drug Lord is a stupid nickname,” Derek mutters.

Derek’s the drug lord his dad has been looking for. Derek Hale, who plays bingo with the ladies at the senior center on Wednesdays. Derek Hale, who volunteers at the animal shelter. Derek Hale, who Stiles has had the most out of control crush on for years. Derek. Hale.

OR

The one where Stiles in an underpaid, overworked delivery boy, and Derek is just the worst drug dealer ever.

From the prompt: “You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den” au.

anonymous asked:

I've been having the most crappiest months ever, my life is a mess right now and I am so fragile, everything makes me cry or feel emotionless. And to top it of my mum is having surgery tomorrow. I could really use a fluffy fic, to remember that hopefully everything will be alright. That there's a real son why I'm going through these horrible times xx

i’m so sorry this is weeks late, my love, i hope you’re doing okay, know i’m rooting for you, and here is some halloween sterek to hopefully make you feel better

*

The first Halloween back home from college is not one Stiles is looking forward to. Nor is it one he wants to celebrate with full force and a damn party.

Scott, however, is keen to embrace the festivities now they’re able to, and he arranges for all of them to go to a “sweet” Halloween do at the town hall.

Stiles mutters darkly about Winifred, Mary and Sarah coming to curse them all, and Derek (to his huge surprise) starts humming the creepy song from the start of the movie as he throws a cushion at Stiles’ head.

He’s seemingly, astonishingly, totally okay with going to a party for Halloween.

Stiles attempts to resist, but his best friend is just so damn earnest.

Derek doesn’t even try to fight Scott’s excited announcement, only asks if they have to wear costumes.

“Of course!” Scott bounces over, claps him on the shoulder, “That’s the whole point!”

Keep reading

there’s a cockroach era photoshoot where everyone except ruki and reita are just posing to show off their stuff really hard 

it’s the most unintentionally hilarious thing 

I mean

what are you even trying to show??? “ohh yeah i have… pockets… and a shoulder…” actually Kai is too young and small here let’s move on i’m getting uncomfortable 

wait actually uruha is a bad example because this is just his natural state in this era but LOOK AT THIS

!!! boy is a hoe

lannethvaen  asked:

Hey i read your antho thing and was wondering...Does Tony's head hair poof when hes startled? Does his bum wiggle before he pounces? Does he do the tongue blep? Does he glare at people while knocking their items off the bench daring them to try something? Does he have the cutest sneezes? I'm not sure if this has been asked but does he purr? What other sounds does he make? Sorry to bother you i just seen my cats do these things and wondered how much of them tony would do

Well! :D I never thought about this but now I am!

His hair does poof when he’s startled! Natasha likes to frighten him because his tail poofs up as well and his ears go flat and she thinks it’s hilarious. Tony doesn’t think it’s hilarious but he’s also frightened of her (not in like a bad way, but in a ‘she could do so much worse to me’ way) so he just puts up with it. It helps that Natasha likes to pat his fur back down, and that feels nice.

He doesn’t typically pounce on things because he’s an adult, but when he was little he’d always wiggle his little tushy before he pounced. It’s like the difference between a domestic and feral cat; domestics will wiggle their bums and swish their tails, while feral cats will stay perfectly still until they pounce. Once they grow up, cats take pouncing less like play. If Tony pounces on something outside of play, it is viciously, with the intent to do harm. (He typically doesn’t pounce much in play either though because the people he plays with do not appreciate him drawing blood so hard. And by people I mean Steve. Steve does not like his life flashing before his eyes before Tony rips his arm open.)

He does the tongue blep. Tony doing the tongue blep is everyone’s phone background. It’s funnier because it’s not like everyone caught him doing the tongue blep at the same time. These are all different bleps. (Cats do not groom themselves with their tongues but they will use a little spit to smooth down stubborn hair. Tony also sticks his tongue out when he’s thinking sometimes and that’s the cause for like half of his bleps.) The team always texts each other the newest picture of The Blep, partly because they’re little shits and partly because they think it’s adorable. (Tony is the only one with a picture of Pepper blepping though.)

It has been stated that Tony makes very aggressive eye-contact when he knocks people’s stuff off of counters. Sometimes he’ll walk up to people and smack stuff right out of their hands. He even knocks stuff out of Natasha’s hands. One time it was a glass of wine. He got mad at her for staining the carpet and left her sputtering in indignation because he was the one that made her drop the glass in the first place.

Tony went seven months before he accidentally sneezed in front of the team. Then he ran screaming from the room because everyone was squealing and wanted to hug him. Clint and Thor have decided that if a villain ever seems unbeatable, they just need to make Tony sneeze in front of them because the sound he makes is all that is good and pure in the world rolled into one adorable noise. (Steve has a video of Tony sneezing that only he and Bucky know about because Tony would make him delete it immediately. They watch the video on bad nights.)

He does purr! Everyone on the team gets super smug and proud when he drapes himself over them and begins to purr. Also it helps to relax whoever he’s draped over. If someone’s having a really bad day, JARVIS will ping him and he’ll go throw himself over them and purr. Tony also chirps and clicks when he’s upset, like cats when they see a bird on the other side of the window. (It’s very hard to take him seriously when he does that which just makes him click and chirp more.) The first few weeks the Avengers moved into the tower, he chirped and clicked a lot because he was not used to living with people, especially people that did not share his same instincts, and he didn’t know how else to express that he was upset. Cue literally everyone except Natasha and Thor being very confused about the noises he’s making. (”Natasha he’s… he’s clicking at me.” “Then get out of his seat, dumb ass.” “These are all his seats.”)

my aesthetic: adam and ronan both being Smug AF because everyone thinks they have the Hottest, Most Amazing Boyfriend

adam’s college friends being utterly dumbfounded when ronan shows up one weekend all tattooed and muscley in a pair of expensive, ripped jeans and a motorcycle jacket, looking like he stepped out of a damn punk fashion magazine or something. “you said he was a farmer.” “you said he had a kid.” “you said he nearly got kicked out of high school.” “you didn’t say he was so hot. i mean, he’s scary-hot, but still hot.” “damn, you’re one lucky guy, parrish.” adam’s just enjoying all the reactions, because he’s kind of been looking forward to this exact moment all semester long. ronan’s kind of a dick at first, of course, but he warms up to them and pretty soon they’re all laughing hysterically because ronan is fucking hilarious, and he has the wildest stories, seriously, parrish, where did you find this guy. and eventually when he starts drunkenly reciting latin poetry, everyone just groans, because, like, of course he’s a secret genius too. and so adam’s boyfriend is granted instant legend status. adam just smiles at him proudly all night and ronan just says appreciatively “your friends are assholes. i like them.”

ronan’s farmer friends take one look at adam and they’re like “you didn’t say your ivy league boyfriend was a model.” “he sure is pretty.” “you could cut glass with them cheekbones.” they ask about him all the time when he’s away at college and ronan can’t help but brag a little about his achievements so they tell him how proud they are of how well he’s doing while adam looks simultaneously touched and bemused. they jokingly ask ronan what a grump like him did to snag such a nice, sweet, well-mannered boy and he just rolls his eyes but murmurs “i ask myself that every day.” adam just says “he’s not all bad” with a wry smile. most of their kids (opal’s friends) are basically in love with him; they think he’s so handsome and smart and cool. he tells him about all the exciting stuff he’s working on at school and talks to them about science and space and robots and all the stuff he was interested in when he was a kid and ronan is Melting into a puddle of goo. “you’re really great with them” he tells him later. and adam blushes and says “stop.” and ronan’s like “no, you’re fucking amazing. i really do wonder how i got so lucky every single day.” and adam just looks at him for a moment and quietly says “me too. this is all i’ve ever wanted.” and ronan says “i’m happy.” and adam says “me too.”

anonymous asked:

Rfa(plus v and saeran) + MC finding out she's pregnant and being super nervous about telling them.

Zen

  • Oh boy
  • You guys were so careful, because neither of you felt ready for kids yet.
  • For days, you’re freaking out.
  • Days.
  • Freaking out.
  • FOr DaYS.
  • “Oh god, what if he doesn’t want it?? Should I just get rid of it and save the time??? Oh, but what if he does want it??? That’d be even worse…”
  • After you had time to make your peace and be prepared for whatever he had to say, you gather up the courage to tell him.
  • “Zen, I’m pregnant.”
  • He chokes on his water.
  • “You’rE whAT”
  • “Look, it’s up to you what we do. I’m not sure how I feel but I just thought- Zen?”
  • He’s done choking now and he’s just staring at you.
  • “We have to keep it.”
  • “What.”
  • “We can’t just throw something so… gorgeous away.”
  •  o h b o y


Yoosung

  • You know he’s going to be either super psyched or terrified, and there’s no in-between
  • Of course you have to have to tell him, because you cant hide it forever.
    • But maybe…..
    • No
  • “How the hell do I tell him this?”
  • After rehearsing a couple of lines in your head, you got a bit frustrated and let out a long sigh.
  • “Hey, Honey! I know this is the last thing you expected to hear after work, but I’m pregnant and absolutely horrified and…. Jesus, that was bad.”
  • “YOU’RE WHAT???”
  • You nearly jumped out of your skin holy shit Yoosung when did you get home
  • “MC, you’re going to have a baby?????”
  • “I’m going to be a dad!!!!!!”
  • Yeah and you’re going to have two babies


Jumin

  • You’re fairly certain that Jumin is not ready to have children.
  • He’s not the best with kids.
  • No offence to him of course, he’s just
  • He just seems so clueless when it comes to kids.
  • Not that you knew much better..
  • Oh my god, you both knew nothing about kids how the hell were you going to do this??????
  • “Hey Jumin, how do you feel about kids?”
  • “Hm? I’m not sure… They’re-”
  • YOU DON’T CARE
  • “Jumin, I’m pREGNANT WHAT DO YOU thINk WE ShOuLD DO ABOUT It????”
  • “….pardon?”
  • “I’m pre-”
  • “No, I heard you.”
  • “Then why did you-”
  • “Elizabeth 3rd will be their best friend.”
  • “Okay honey.”


707

  • Alright.
  • Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright.
  • This is fine. This is okay. THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.
  • You know about how fucked up his parents were, so you’re afraid that he’s going to be scared.
  • Of course there’s also that little part of you that thinks that he might act the way his parents did, but you know he would never.
  • He’s really good with kids though. Like,,,,,, he’s basically an overgrown kid,,,,
  • One night, you’re watching Little Rascals, and he makes a comment like “Oh man, these kids are hilarious!”
  • “So… you… like kids?”
  • “Of course! And kids love me!”
  • “Oh, that’s good….”
  • You guys continue watching the movie, but after thirty seconds he gasps.
  • “MC ARE YOU PREGNANT?????”
  • “Whaaaaaaaat?? Pff, no. No way. Absolutely no. You don’t think I’d tell you if I was pregnant?”
  • You just get a look.
  • Why does MC end up with one more child than she signed up for wtf


V

  • Y’all ain’t even married yet.
  • Sex before marriage,,,,,,,,, sinful.
  • He sort of wanted kids, but the thought always came after marriage.
  • You end up pacing around the bedroom after you find out. He’s in the living room doing who knows what.
  • “How the hell are we gonna go about this?”
  • “Go about what?”
  • “noThIGN HONEY”
  • “….. okay.”
  • “Should I take care of it…?”
  • “Darling, who are you talking to?”
  • “n o b o d y”
  • You thought that maybe since he couldn’t see you very well, you had more time.
  • You fool.
  • V knows everything.
  • One day, out of the blue,
  • “MC are you pregnant?”
  • “Uh…. Yes…..?”
  • 0:
  • “Oh, that’s great! They can be part of the wedding.”


Saeran

  • Oh god, neither of you are ready for this….
  • His past + your lack of knowledge in the children department = bad
  • For a few days, you’re freaking o u t.
  • Every time you think about it, you feel like throwing up.
  • He notices your strange behavior, but when he asks about it, he doesn’t get a legit answer.
  • “MC, I accidentally knocked over the waste basket.”
  • OH NO
  • “What is this?”
  • O H N O
  • “That’s um…. Why,,,,, That, my dear Saeran is a pregnancy test.”
  • “I know what it is, I just meant-”
  • He sorta squints at it again.
  • “Why didn’t you tell me?”
  • “I was scared you’d be upset.”
  • “Upset??? MC, I don’t know anything about babies, but if we work together, I think we’ll be just fine.”
  • “I’m not worried about us. I’m worried about the baby.”
  • “Oh”

anonymous asked:

Here are some initial impressions after watching the episode: "I drowned a lot of people" Wow is Lapis blase about human lives or what? I actually find myself disliking her more and more with her complete disregard. But then, I'm sure you have your thoughts on that.

My reactions are twofold:

First I’m interested that you interpret that as Lapis being completely uncaring on the subject because she says that while very determinedly avoiding Connie’s eye contact. For a while now, Lapis has been kind of at conflict with how powerful she is and how willing she is to use that, with her own tendency to go too far. That was quite evasive for Lapis. 

(also, to split hairs, “I almost drowned a lot of people”- one implies Lapis has a kill streak, the other doesn’t. That said, that ‘almost’ also doesn’t tell us for sure Lapis has never killed before- it’s noteworthy that she knows very effectively how to kill a human by cutting off oxygen- not something that works for Gems, nor would that be effective restraint for one.

Which suggests Lapis has developed specific lethal tactics for humans, which is.. interesting)

The bigger thing I have here is… the fact that Lapis is morally complex and kind of shady isn’t exactly news. At all. Heck, just consider the event that they’re both referencing here.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hi arc can i ask a question that seems a bit silly even as i write it? how do you keep being so brave about your fanwork? i used to post a lot of fic when i was younger before all the like holier than thou purity politics stuff happened. but the purity politics stuff sort of... made me scared to interact with fandom? like i want to write and post the fics i have ideas for but i'm SCARED and i don't really know how to?? stop being scared i guess? idk i can't really get my thoughts down now sorry

(scared anon) i just guess i was wondering if you had any advice on like pushing past that fear and just doing fanwork without being scared of how people might react?

Oh, honey.

Christ, lemme think about it….

1. I flat out do not follow any “main” tags. In RT, I never followed #ragehappy. In Borderlands, I never followed #rhack or anything. In HS, I don’t follow any ship tag. So I literally do not see most negativity. This is helpful because people like being dicks in tags and to put their shitty vagueblogging in there, but are often too fucking cowardly to come at you personally.

90% of the time, my awareness that people resent me for having “””impure””” popular fics comes from friends giving me a heads up that someone is talking shit. And when they do, I block that person.

2. Relevant to the above: It took me a long time to understand that people resent my fics being popular, not their actual subject matter. It’s a jealousy thing. I have written some filth that never got really popular, and no one gave a shit. It’s only when I start getting a lot of comments and kudos that suddenly I’m the Great Satan. Keeping in mind that bitches be jealous super helps.

Most recent example: people didn’t start to talk shit about ASAFAF until I started to see fanart based on the story. C’mon.

3. I genuinely believe in the diversity of stories we tell. Like, gushing gold is a great example of a fic I deeply enjoyed writing and sharing, but that I also knew was not for everyone. But it was for some people.

When you are writing a subject matter that you are passionate about, understand that other people are going to be passionate about it too. There are people who need difficult or uncomfortable stories told to affirm they aren’t alone, to help work through rare subject matter, to just enjoy in a world that doesn’t offer them much media.

No story is for everyone, but every story is for someone. Take pride in that.

4. No, really. Block people. Block anyone who makes you uncomfortable, and never look back.

I know it’s apparently a Thing, to block someone, then check in on them? I don’t do this. Once someone is blocked, they no longer exist in my universe.

5. Avoid younger fans. This obviously applies to older fen like me, but broadly speaking, this purity politics culture comes from younger fans attacking older fans, and a lack of understanding that Fandom is a place for a wide group of people with disparate experiences and interests.

Not all young fans are part of that, obviously, but… if someone young enjoys my stuff, I’m glad. I hope they like it. But I avoid deep discussion and interaction and attempts to befriend me, because I am 27 years old and write porn on the internet and shouldn’t be talking to young folks. If anyone doesn’t understand the logic of that, for my protection and for theirs, that is genuinely not my problem and I’m sure they’ll figure it out later.

Boundaries: they are important for adults as much as kids. Enforce them.

6. …

A lot of it is that I’ve been in fandom for over half my life now. I’ve seen a lot of shit. I’ve been through a lot of shit. (Anyone remember that pissant who tried to report me to the government because I told them to stop harassing me after +6 months of bullshit? lol) I’ve had great fandom experiences and I’ve had ones I would love to hit Undo on.

There are amazing people in fandom and there are fucking hilariously awful shitheads in fandom. The majority of people are decent, and they enjoy what I do, and if you start making content and sharing it, you will find people who enjoy what you do. There are people who follow me who shoot me out of the blue supportive Asks on bad days, who read my fic even when they don’t know the source material, who encouraged me to write my book and then bought the damn thing.

The purity police are scary, abusive fuckers. But they are not the majority, and the less you interact with them, the less they can affect you. They want an opponent, they want someone to fight so they can play victim, they want to be the Valiant Warrior Of Purity.

Ignore ‘em. Make them take their boring pedantic morality play elsewhere.

ETA: 7. Don’t fight the purity police and don’t try to convince them or win them over. It literally never works. These are people who are in a bad place and you cannot move them from that place. Only they can, when they grow the fuck up. Don’t do it. You will not win, you will expend energy on people who gobble it up to fuel their shitstirring and vagueblogging, and they will just know they can successfully antagonize you.

Take that annoyance and frustration. Channel it into writing more rad shit. 

.

I hope this helps at all, anon. Remember, also, that the AO3 is your friend, and you can keep your tumblr and your AO3 a little bit separated. That can help.

taekook fic rec #3

PLEASE feel free to recommend me any of your favorite BTS fanfics (any ship), because I will read them. Also, please let me know if you liked any of the stories I recommend!

IMPORTANT: All of the fics I rec will be on a scale of 8 to 10. (8- really good, happy I read it.  9- amazing, I loved it! 10- perfect, one of my favorites. [*]= top fave)

Enjoy and happy reading~


  1. Hit and Run

Summary: Jimin and Jungkook have been the top hitmen duo in Seoul since the day they picked up their first revolvers and shot a man without a second look back. But when they cross paths with a skilled hacker by the name of Kim Taehyung, things start to change up a little.

AU: Hitmen 

Rated: M

Length: 4 chps, 27.3k words

Warnings: Some violence and language  

My Review: Wow….I am so pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed this SO MUCH. The characterization was so on point along with the plot, romance, humor,…. everything. I never thought I would read a hitmen!AU for some reason and yet here I am today. It’s one of my top favorites. 

My Rating: 10/10 

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