i'm not sorry for the rant

As regards to Nina making he return I am royally SHOOK but so happy but am also anxious to wait and see how yet another very promising storyline/series finale may be fucked up, i kinda ship everything on this show to be quite honest so amnt overly bothered with endgames but I can’t help but think that from a story writing point of view, that while being the most unrealistic outcome in terms of where the ingenious (*eye rolls*) writers are taking the story, stelena, bamon and klaroline would be the most interesting, logical and satisfying conclusion to the story, in my head I could genuinely see a possible time jump, bonnie alive (bc she’s died too many times and if she dies for good it’ll just be unoriginal at this stage ffs)the writers themselves have always described Damon as the third point in the triangle, and I for one feel that their story has been wholly burnt out, completely exhausted, the past few seasons has been those two running around in toxic circles for God knows what reason when there were perfectly good storylines to be explored. The chemistry between Dxmon and Elxna was absolutely sizzling in the earlier seasons but has gradually become more dead, useless and flat than a burst balloon, and it’s so tired, and Stxroline’s chemistry was dead in the water before they even got together, a beautiful friendship but romantically there’s something missing, although I am a much bigger fan of these two and their pleasant and mutually beneficial relationship which makes both parts happy than I am the former, but anyway, and finally Bonnie and Damon would have a relationship based off of mutual love, respect, forgiveness and GROWTH (key word, a relationship where one part continuously makes mistakes, apologises and never experienced growth or betters themselves but devolves back to the villain they were previously as soon as the relationship breaks down and continuously makes the same mistakes is TOXIC and overall a very negative entity, no arguments with this), I cannot see how Bamon would be a less realistic relationship just because they’re best friends, given the basis for Stxroline’s relationship? Anywho I kinda just imagined the ideal finale being Bonnie somehow becoming a vamp witch and living eternally in a lovely suburban, cozy home with Damon and their adopted kids bc those two deserve happiness God damn it, Stefan taking the cure and losing his memories and Elena having her memories erased to go on and live a normal life and one day she’s walking around a crowded city and bumps into this handsome stranger (Stefan) and they fall in love again bc SOULMATES And Caroline is at home one night when she hears a knock on the door to see klaus and she’s finally ready to be with her last love DELUSIONS Peace out bitches Julie Plec can kiss my ass Someone’s gonna die and if it’s Bonnie Bennett I will fucking riot

I’m getting really tired of seeing all these posts making fun of men as a whole. If a man said the very same things about a woman, tumblr would blow up and attack him for sexism. But because when a group of women say it about a man, it’s totally fine and a joke? I know some people will probably unfollow me for this but I’m seriously fed up with it. Sexism works in both directions. I’ve had a very bad past involving very bad men who did awful things, but I don’t blame all men for it. Even when it’s hard for me to be around men at times, flashbacks and all, at the end of the day I know there are lots of good men, ones that helped me out of the situations I was in. “Joking” that men are useless because you want to seem edgy and cool isn’t funny, it’s genuinely awful and I can’t wait for people to grow up and realize that treating people poorly because you were treated poorly doesn’t make it okay. It’s an endless cycle of hate and you have to find a way out because these edgy comments harm others and perpetuate a negative idea that men are useless when they’re not.

So there’s a pet store thats a half n hour away from me and they have a male American toad for sale. Now that’s fine and dandy except for the toad’s living conditions. He has a nice, big tank but there’s absolutely no dirt in the tank. Like??? How can he bury or hide? Nor is there any places for the toad to hide in/under. I’m seriously thinking about buying him so I can give him a better living environment.

When I was 14 I went to a movie with a boy i was friends with. He touched me and held me to him and tried to kiss me and made him incredibly uncomfortable and I felt violated but I never technically told him to stop. I tried breathing really loud and shaking to get him to stop but I couldn’t tell him to stop because I knew he’d be mad and I was scared of how he’d react. He thought he we were dating so I ended things and he threatened suicide. He was toxic and hurt me. I saw him the other night at a school function and I told my mom and she asked if i talked to him and that I was being overdramatic about the whole thing. I’m so sick of boys touching me, whether it’s a close hug or pulling me into their lap and holding me there, and people saying I’m being overdramatic or making it all up. Nobody understands how that’s affected me and how much it hurts when people say I make things up. And I know this happens to women and men of all ages everywhere everyday and it sickens me. I don’t understand how people can hear someone say “this person hurt me” whether it’s just a touch or rape and someone say “you’re making it up” ugh it makes me sick and I’m sorry to everyone that’s experienced that because I’ve gone through it countless times. Sexual abuse and sexual assault needs to be understood more. People need to understand that it’s real, it happens, and sometimes we can’t just get over it.

I’ve been involved in fandom in some form for literally 12+ years and the supergirl fandom is the worst I’ve ever seen holy shit

Like don’t get me wrong my readers are the best but wooowww some of the fandom needs to relax

Sorry friends, I have a little rant for you this morning. You can ignore it or whatever.

Basically, I’m a bit annoyed at the response to writing. This past weekend I posted 3 different fics that were requested from people. I spent hours writing them. I haven’t posted a fic that was my own idea or one that was completely something I want to do in over a week. (I know that doesn’t sound like a long time but when you post nearly every day, that’s a whole lot of writing that isn’t for yourself.)

Combined, those 3 things have under 150 notes. Now, I don’t have a shit-ton of followers (303 as of writing this, I believe). But this is… slightly annoying.

There was an anon who was searching for my work yesterday, who I just happened to find out about because I follow someone who responded to the inquiry. You know why that anon couldn’t find my work to reread it? Because they didn’t reblog/comment/like it. So it’s just by chance that I had any idea that someone liked it enough to read it twice, to search it out. I have no idea how many other people also like my writing, and just never say anything.

And when you spend 10-15 hours in a weekend writing things for other people, that’s really, really annoying.

The thing is, I would write this stuff either way. Not the prompts, but I have other ideas that I have shelved so I can write the things people have asked me to write. Meaning I’m not writing for myself. But proof-reading, formatting and posting on tumblr and AO3 - depending on how long the work is, that can take an extra 1-3 hours. Seriously. And I could save myself that step and just write what I want and fuck grammar and formatting. Plus, I have a post that I’m constantly updating with links and prompt info. I hate that post. It’s a bitch to keep up with. But I have to, because I’ve received over 20 requests in the last month.

I have noticed a small group of people who consistently like and comment and reblog, and I am so appreciative - I always check tags on reblogs, so I see all those things. I see when someone says they are saving my fic for later bc they know it will be good, and that makes me so happy. But when I spent hours, and it’s 1-5 people who do things like that? Makes me wonder if it’s worth it. I really, really appreciate comments. But it’s kind-of ridiculous that getting 1-2 comments or nice tags on a fic that took me hours is supposed to be, what… enough? I’m not getting paid, friends. And the frustration from seeing a lack of response nearly cancels out what I do get.

Anyway, I’m not really asking for anything in particular. I guess I just wanted to rant and make people aware that this stuff takes time, and for very little payback sometimes.

And in news that might be completely contradictory to everything I just said… I’ll have a moriel meta for you later tonight. It’s approaching 3k words and I know a couple of people are waiting for it, but I just… am not expecting much response, either way. I think I might close fic requests for a while; I have 9 in my inbox that I’ll still finish, but… I want to write for myself, eventually. Especially if people aren’t going to give much feedback. I might as well write something I’m super into myself.

rant about thai k-idols

okay so,,, i’ve seen A LOT of ppl using a thai idol’s real name as if it’s normal (esp in fanfics) and as a person who grew up in thailand and is thai,,, that is actually very awkward. a thai person is born w a first name, last name, and nick name. the nick name is the name you will be called by throughout your whole life and many of your friends would prob never know your full name tbh. your full name is only used in official papers and business type situations. for example, in school, the teacher would call you by your first name and your nickname (it depends what they’re saying,, if it’s roll call or smth like that it’s your first name!!) i’m going to use ten as an example, so bare with me. if you’re friends w ten, you would never call him ‘chittaphon’. not even his family would call him ‘chittaphon’. it’s really just used for MAINLY official papers. please just call your thai idol by their nickname (which is most likely their stage name). i’m sure this is hard to understand bc different culture,, but i’m honestly rly uncomfortable w it??? it’s okay that you’ve been ignorant to this, but i hope you guys learned something new!! feel free to msg me for any questions!

Little Things about YoI episode 8

I need to rant to get it out of my system (and because lately I can’t draw to get my feelings out) about some things I really liked in the new episode:

  • The possible character development for Yurio. As I mentioned previously, it seems likely that Yurio’s development will be a bit similar to Yuuri’s, based on the fact he skates on the twin piece of music, “On Love”. His love isn’t the same than Yuuri. Yuuri was more about discovering romantic (and sexual) love (even if it meant realizing the love he was surrounded by too). Yurio, to me, will be more about recognizing and accepting the love on a more “innocent” form (Agape) he can receive but always refuse. He only accepts his Grandfather’s love (maybe because it’s the only one he ever received ?), but when presented with manifestations of affection and support from others (Yuuri and Viktor), he gets angry and sees them as pity or teasing. Maybe it will be his character development. At least that’s how I saw it foreshadowed in this new episode.
  • Yuuri and Viktor’s maturity. I already loved how, in general, Yuuri acted pretty mature especially toward Yurio (not picking up on his attacks, the “Viktor came because he wanted” and not beating himself over it, treating him like a valid opponent all by keeping in mind he’s way younger…). But here it really got me. He, and Viktor, were genuinely happy for Yurio. To see how he improved, how he really made the Agape his own (even if it still needs improvement). They cheered for him, Yuuri was happy to see Yurio again, and even Viktor (in his really awkward way) showed some happiness to see him again. Even though he is one of their opponents, and even though Yurio clearly showed animosity toward them, they didn’t pick on him and instead cheered him. It was heartwarming, and also a proof of maturity that’s refreshing (so many shows display adults that act like kids in the wrong sense of the word).
  • As mentioned in an other post : the maturity Yuuri displayed by immediately telling Viktor about Makkachin and telling him to go back. He didn’t keep it for himself (communication holy shit), he didn’t play any emotionally manipulative game (”it’s makkachin or me”), but instead showed empathy, took his own experience as something he didn’t want his lover to go through, and showed maturity by not being over dependent on Viktor’s presence (”I can do it without you, I’m an adult, and I don’t want you to suffer. I can handle not having you by my side all of the time, but I don’t want you to have your dog suffer/die without being able to be with him when I don’t need you right now”). 
  • Speaking of dependence : Viktor and Yuuri will be separated. And that’s something I’m really happy to see. I really hope Makkachin doesn’t die though, and I think he won’t and that it’s really just an excuse to have them separated for a moment. And I think it’s important. Because currently, they always been together, and they’re pretty fusional. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with it, but it becomes wrong when it’s sign of overdependence on each other, when each part can’t function properly without the other. Now that they really reinforced their relationship in last episode, and that they’re confident in their relationship, it’s like a “proof test”, to have Yuuri having to perform without Viktor being here. I am confident it should go well (not that it will be easy, but that Yuuri will overcome it), and that it will be an other evidence of their healthy relationship. I think they need to be separated at least a bit, because it’s something that will happen sometimes. And also, it will be a “test” of Yuuri’s confidence. Did he really become confident or is it only tied to Viktor’s presence ? He only performed and won with Viktor always at his side so far. I do believe he actually gained confidence, but it will be a nice situation for them to “test” their relationship, its strength and Yuuri’s confidence. And it’s not a wicked test, but the one that can normally happen in real life. It’s not a “jealousy” proof test or anything. Just a “life makes it so I need to be at a place you can’t be because you have something else important to do right now, and neither of us can ask the other to drop everything to be at our side, so we have to split for a moment and it’s ok”. I’m really excited.
  • The Eros Programm really being a metaphor of the Viktuuri relationship. Especially in the beginning. At first, Yuuri was just copying Viktor’s smile. But then their relationship evolves, and Viktor starts to pull Yuuri so they can be more on equal grounds (”seduce me with your own charm” aka “you don’t have to copy me anymore or use any tricks, you have the ability to charm me in you”). And then he doesn’t just smile, but licks his lips. It’s seductive, it’s really Yuuri wanting Viktor (”Keep your eyes on me”) and it’s about where they are in their relationship. But then the relationship evolves again. They really get on equal grounds when Yuuri sees Viktor fucking up and when they both expose some of their weaknesses. And then they kiss. Their relationship is healthy and official, and so, next time, Yuuri blows a kiss at Viktor. It’s a nice reference to the kiss they shared before, and an evidence of the development of their relationship : it’s not about seducing anymore. It’s about expressing your feelings and your confidence in the other. The kiss and skating is for Viktor. And to parallel this, you just have the way Yuuri skates all the way. He starts off unsure, messing up some jumps, having to stay really focused on his story or the katsudon or the woman to be able to skate it right. And in the last episode ? He didn’t do any of that. He’s confident in this program as he is in his relationship with Viktor. And that’s. so. great.

This episode was less emotionally charged than the previous, less centered on Yuuri and Viktor (they’re just an established couple now and I love it. They don’t even fear to do things like the laces tying or the kiss on the skate. It’s awesome), but more on Yurio, his future development, and his relationship to other. It was great and the possible interpretations of what is to come are really interesting.

@allistics who want to cure autism

It seems that most of the argument on curing autism and other disabilities is that people “don’t want anyone to suffer it”

But here’s the thing about autism. We’re born autistic. We don’t know anything else. And as long as I have access to my coping methods, I’m totally fine.

I’ve been autistic my entire life. I didn’t know it until a couple years ago, but I’ve been finding my own ways to deal with sensory issues since I was born. It’s not really a problem to me. I have soundproof earbuds to block out extra noise. I have a necklace full of perfume in case of a bad smell, stim toys in case I get anxious. I know ASL in case I have a nonverbal shutdown. I know how and where to seek out accommodations for myself if I need them. My autism-related problems are hardly problems at all. They’re just life for me.

So here are the reasons I suffer due to my autism:

  • when I get overwhelmed but can’t leave the room because people accuse me of being rude
  • when I can’t plug my ears if there’s a sound I can’t deal with because people accuse me of being rude
  • when I get ridiculed for stimming in public
  • when I get ridiculed for whatever my special interest is
  • when people force me to eat food I can’t eat
  • when people force me to use spoken English when I’ve gone nonverbal
  • when people talk down to me because I’m autistic
  • when people try to force me to do things that my brain can’t handle under the assumption that I can do it if I believe in myself

Notice what all those things have in common? They’re all problems caused by people who don’t try to understand that our brains are different.

We don’t suffer because of our autism. We suffer because of YOU.

So don’t give me that “nobody should have to suffer the burden of having autism” crap. If you actually cared about autistic people, you’d let us be different and try to understand the way our specialized brains work. You don’t care about us. You just don’t want to deal with us.

lmao no offense but halsey is literally everything tumblr wants in a celebrity she’s a queer woman of color who is extremely socially and politically aware, speaks up about her own mental illness, and on top of that is also genuinely talented as fuck and still yall feel the need to put her down and make her small like how gross can u actually be literally how disgusting are u

Hearing People & Sign Language

I just saw a post on my dash about how hearing people shouldn’t learn sign language, that it’s “”“”“"ableist”“”“”“ or "culturally appropriative” and i’m sososoooo angry

As someone who was born deaf, I’d just like to say that without “"hearing people”“ knowing sign language, I would’ve had absolutely no way to communicate with my family other than through written language. I would’ve been completely unable to make friends in school because I wouldn’t have had a way to communicate with a single one of my peers. I would not have LEARNED anything in school if it weren’t for the interpreter who COULD HEAR.
I could go on, but I was fortunate enough to have access to specialists and surgeons who were able to operate on me and correct my hearing at a young age, so I can hear now.
But honestly, I want people to think about how isolating it can be when you’re in a room with people who all speak a language you know how to read and write, but you can’t communicate with any of them because you can’t understand spoken word, and they can’t sign.
If you think that learning sign language as someone who hears is somehow damaging, re-evaluate where you’re coming from. I would have loved nothing more than for all of the hearing people in my life who didn’t know sign language to know sign language so that I could have communicated with them, and not been limited to a select few people with whom I could sign.

Learn sign language, we’ll always be grateful.

Seriously though when Zedd and Kesha’s song True Colors drops tomorrow please buy it when you can. The profits will benefit someone who’s struggled with assault and abuse and who’s voice was silenced when she tried to speak up. Who was dismissed her rights even when she said she spoke the truth. Who was told to lie about her assault case in order to gain her freedom. In this situation , Kesha needs all the support she can get and the easiest way to do that is by spending the 1.29 for the song. Illegally downloading doesn’t do shit.

3

blunt as hell

@ everyone with intrusive thoughts

okay I’m not trying to invalidate anyone and their struggles but people really need to talk about intrusive thoughts that aren’t just stuff like “throw your cup across the room” or “eat this leaf” (even tho those must be stressful as well im sorry)

I’m talking about those gross, disgusting, violent thoughts that leave you awake at night afraid you’re going to slip up because it’s just a matter of time
Those thoughts that make you afraid to be alone in a room with anyone/anything you could possibly hurt
Those thoughts that leave you crying in the shower/puking over a toilet because they’re so disgusting and you must be a horrible person for even THINKING them
Those thoughts that make you want to kill yourself because it’s better than having to deal with them

People don’t talk about them enough and that’s why it’s so hard for people who suffer from them to realize that it’s not their fault it’s just the disorder
And to everyone who struggles with this: you’re so brave, I love you, and you’re going to get through this

For the last time:

If Victor bought that ring for Yuuri ahead of time then the anime would have shown us. And even if they wouldn’t have shown it, if that’s what they wanted us to think, they would have made it explicitly clearEspecially in the episode that was narrated by Victor.

What interest does the anime have in hiding the information that Victor bought the ring earlier?

None.

Which is probably enough reason to believe that it didn’t happen.

Listen, I know it’s a really sweet idea and I know that we’d all like that to be true, but there are limits to wishful thinking.

I keep seeing people speaking of the headcanon (because that’s what it should be called) that Victor bought the ring ahead of time as though it’s a fact and I think it’s very confusing and even misleading to a part of the fandom.

And listen, if you want to believe that’s what happened, that’s cool, but at least acknowledge the fact that you’re talking about a theory or a headcanon like I mentioned above, and don’t act like that’s what canonically happened because if that’s what it really were then it would be clear to everyone and we wouldn’t even have to have this argument.

(Especially that there is much more proof for Yuuri buying both rings/Yuuri and Victor buying the rings in the same store at the same time than of Victor buying one beforehand.)

instagram fandom

this is what you’re not going to do

- call finn RUDE for saying that mileven isn’t real. it’s not. it’s a fictional ship between fictional characters.

- constantly throw “fillie” in his face. he is fourteen years old. stop shipping him with his cast mates, it’s weird. they’re kids. stop doing that. 

- say he’s acting differently towards fans when he’s with his friends. obviously? when you’re in the spotlight you’re going to act different on camera than how you act around your friends and family.

he is fourteen years old, guys. give him a break. the insta fandom is so dramatic and imo they are being babies. he shouldn’t have had to apologize to anyone for anything he said on his livestream. y’all are going to drive this kid off of all social media if you keep accusing him of being rude/different. he doesn’t have to act any type of way towards any of us. again: he is f o u r t e e n.

I would do anything for you if only you would hold me. But you told me to stop, so I did, for you. You told me to let go, but I couldn’t, for us, for me. My heart would shatter if I just let go of everything and I wish you would feel the same. Somehow I don’t see the pain I’m in reflected in you. You, with those big dry eyes and perfect face with pretty hair that falls around it. Did I love too much? Did I lose my sanity when I thought you were the best thing in my life? The worst part is that even with all my poems and late night crying, I don’t miss the hugs and kisses and hand holding as much as I miss you being a friend. Just talking about our days and sharing stories, that security and knowing you would have my back when I feel bad. And now that I feel the worst I have ever felt, you don’t want to talk. Forget romantic love, where is the reliable, consistent love we give our closest friends and family? It’s not about holding hands, it’s about holding hearts and you dropped mine.
—  I’m not angry, never angry at you. Just disappointed. I’m sorry
Dear Ultima Almighty

You know, I really don’t like drama. I hate petty fights and arguing over things that don’t matter. I hate not forgiving people over simple MISTAKES.
Because mistakes do happen, they really do. You might forget to do that thing your friend asked you to, or you might cheat on a test because you were so stressed out you couldn’t study. Those are mistakes. Those are things that can be forgiven easily.
Let me make this clear: Sexual assault is not a MISTAKE. Sexual assault is a crime. Sexual assault is abuse. Sexual assault is something that cannot be forgiven simply or easily, if ever.
Telling people you made a “mistake” is bad enough. Telling people that you’ll learn from it is even worse. Because clearly you haven’t learned, considering you COMMITTED THE SAME CRIME AGAINST 8 WOMEN. The only thing you’ve learned is what happens when you get caught.

Did you really think you were above consequences?

I suppose you did. But know this.

Every single one of those women are better off without you. You say you needed Stephanie. You say she made you feel complete. You say it was the perfect relationship. A perfect relationship doesn’t rely on manipulation, force, and abuse.

You say you needed her, but you don’t deserve her. Or anyone, if you decide to treat them like that.

And to every single person he’s ever harassed, abused, stolen, or copyrighted: you deserve much much much more than his lies and abuse.

And to the people who helped and supported the victims of his, thank you so much. Thank you for being there when we, the fans, couldn’t.

In response to this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jHp6mx4HnkY and the text post written by @starbotdubs

NO

I’M NOT USUALLY ONE TO JUDGE BEFORE SOMETHING COMES OUT BUT

THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER SEEN. Did these guys even WATCH the original? WTF are those girls?? They’re not even fitting in Spirits time period god damn it! 

OKAY BUT. THIS RUINS SO MUCH OF THE MESSAGE IN THE FIRST FILM. TWO SPIRITS THAT COULDN’T BE BROKEN. WHERES THAT MESSAGE HERE? SPIRIT WENT BACK TO THE WILD. WHO ARE THESE SADDLE CLUB LOOKING SPOILT STABLE GIRLS. 

I HATE THIS. THIS IS SHIT. 

THIS IS NOT WHAT SPIRIT WAS ABOUT.

they could have made a brilliant show based on the lakota culture and ideology. If you had to have a little girl, have it be the daughter of Little Creek.

THIS IS DOWNGRADING A BRILLIANT PIECE OF ART WITH A STRONG MESSAGE INTO ANOTHER ‘SADDLE CLUB HORSE SHOW FOR LITTLE GIRLS’ 

I HATE IT.