i'm not saying i disagree or agree, i just found it interesting

anonymous asked:

hey I was wondering if you could expand upon that ask you sent @lefbians when you said the current definition for asexuality is racist. I'm not ace, and I don't disagree with you; I just wanted to know if you could further clarify.

Yeah totally.

The current definition of Asexual that the community goes by is “does not experience sexual attraction.” Sexual Attraction by definition is hazy in the community and there is. A lot of controversy over what sexual attraction actually is, but a pretty much agreed upon definition is “that feeling you get when you look at someone and you want to bang them.” Sounds reasonable enough, but then you get asexuals who… do not experience sexual attraction but still want to bang people? Or aces that only feel sexual attraction after getting to know people? Or only feel it rarely? Hold on.

See, the Asexual community believes that non-aces, or “Allos”, look at people they find attractive and immediately want to bang them. And this happens often and on regular occasions. But. Most non-aces don’t feel that way. In fact, the Ace community’s very definition of “sexual attraction” is the same definition of the “male gaze.” Which is already very creepy, but let’s get to the racism.

There are so, SO many cultures and societies outside of colonialist “western” society that do NOT experience “sexual attraction” at all. Like my family that is indigenous does not experience that. In fact there are SO many societies and cultures that find OUR obsession with sex absolutely ridiculous. Would this mean that there are entire societies that are Asexual? Obviously not. It means that the Asexual community’s current definition of Asexual is valid only within our society. Which is not how sexuality works; there are gay men in every culture, multi gender attracted people in every culture, lesbians in every culture etc. But in cultures outside of our own, the Asexual community doesn’t hold up.

But please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that Asexuality doesn’t exist. I’m just saying that people saying they are Asexual but they still love and enjoy sex or that they are Asexual but they are only turned on by people they feel close to are unknowingly enacting colonialist-based racism. And since the definition of “sexual attraction” is what the current Asexual community has built itself on, the very core of the Asexual community is racism.

And listen. I thought I was Asexual. I had zero sex drive. I found women absolutely beautiful, but I did not objectify them in my mind or instantly want to bang them, because I do not have the male gaze. When I started on birth control, I discovered that I had a sex drive and wondered if my Asexuality was based upon a hormonal imbalance. When I lost my health insurance, my sex drive disappeared again verifying my suspicions. I do not identify as asexual, because my complete disinterest in sex branches from a medical problem I have. But there are people without a sex drive and without and interest in sex because that is their genuine sexuality. And those are Asexuals.

The Asexual community’s belief that “Allos” are always sex obsessed and that they want to bang anything they find attractive is racist. Hetero demisexuals who want into the LGBT community are heterosexuals following a racist ideology. And AGAIN, Asexuality is real and it is valid, but the Asexual community needs to take out its trash.

Like the amount of homophobia and racism that spews out of the Asexual community blows my mind. Straight people hating on gay people? What’s new.

Audrey didn’t know why she’d even bothered talking to her ex-boyfriend when she’d run into him at the library. It had been stupid, really, because she knew he was an asshole. He’d gone out of his way to hurt her ever since they broke up, and even though she acted like she didn’t care; about him, his new flings, any of it; it hurt. And she’d let him hurt her even more in the library. She’d ended up lashing out and claimed she was dating someone too, that she was over him, just so he wouldn’t know she wasn’t over him yet. And when he’d asked her who, clearly not believing her, she’d said the first name that popped into her mind. 

Zahid. He was gonna kill her when he found out, no doubt. They only had one class together, but all they did was fight because they disagreed on everything. And somehow, Audrey had to convince him that playing her boyfriend for a little while would be in his best interest. Not only that, but he needed to make a valid effort and actually look like he liked her. They’d have to pretend to be a couple, a convincing couple, at least for a few weeks so her ex wouldn’t know she’d been lying. If Zahid didn’t agree to be her fake boyfriend, she’d make a total fool out of herself not only in front of him but also her ex, and that wasn’t about to happen. So when class ended, she quickly packed her stuff and rushed to catch up with him. She even went as far as flashing him a little smile, pretty sure she’d never smiled at him before her entire life, except their first day in class when she didn’t know he was an asshole yet. “I need a favour, and before you say anything, you’re gonna hear me out. I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a few weeks.” No point in beating around the bush, right?

anonymous asked:

I ship Larry and Ziam and I hope I'm not bothering you, but have you noticed that some Larries are like really weird as in if Louis hadn't said anything for Father's Day they would have been happy, but he posted what he did and now they still are, like, I feel like it was a shady post but they do it all the time to everything and it feels a bit extra, and I don't know what to believe

I don’t want to be like “not all Larries” but there is a huge group of people who are blanketed into the “Larrie” term. I was talking to the writer who wrote that Vice article about Taylor Swift and closeted celebrities and she asked me something that has to do with this concept:

Speaking of which: the traditional fandom usage of “shipping” refers to liking the idea of two people/characters together, not believing they’re actually in a relationship. The term “tinhat” obviously has negative connotations– do you think of yourself as a Larrie, plain and simple? (And a… Ziam?) I feel like there’s no clear single word for the I-believe-in-Larry camp that people would apply to themselves– there are anti’s, but no pros, if that makes sense? 

To which I replied:

It would be hypocritical to not refer to myself as a Larrie given that I have written about it quite extensively, and also the word “Larrie” isn’t something that holds bad connotations for me. That was something that I could see was seeded within the fandom, that “Larries are crazy” and “Larries are deluded” but from what I’ve experienced it’s been mostly people thinking critically and discussing why they think what they think and how what’s going on is absolutely horrendous. I’m not insulted by people calling me a Larrie because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying, “I’ve looked at the facts and this is what I believe.” Shipping culture is very strange, I agree. You grow up having favourite characters but I’ve never really seen the Larry Stylinson thing as shipping for me since I just thought it was two guys who were genuinely dating and when I found out that they were closeted I thought that was genuinely an injustice to them. When it comes to non-fictional people who are believed to be in very real relationships it seems different from shipping. I’m not trying to wish anyone into a relationship because I think they look cute together. 

I have no idea what Ziam shippers call themselves. Ziamists? Anyway, I had assumed it was just harmless shipping because they’re two hot guys and who wouldn’t want to see them together? But then I started noticing people talking about it in a very “this is real” kind of way and for about a year I was like “Not today, Satan. Not today.” because I really didn’t have any more time in my life for another closeted couple in One Direction. However I got drunk and watched a YouTube video by a user called “I like your skirt Mary” and I was immediately like, “God. Damnit." 

I’m not sure who you’re following but I’ve never seen anyone that I follow acting happy about any of the stunts. There might be some comical moments as in how hard they fail at making anything seem legitimate, but ultimately if you’re taking the term Larrie to define someone who believes that they are legitimately in a relationship then I haven’t really seen anyone who falls under that category celebrating much of anything lately. 

In terms of what I believe, I would say exactly none of it is dependent on the actions of anybody but Louis and Harry. There are certainly blogs whose insight I find very interesting or who point out things, but I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t considered this situation from every angle and come to the conclusion that Larry is real on my own, something I also explained to Vice.

For myself I took a very academic approach to every theory, hence writing what ended up essentially being a Larry thesis, but I really considered all possibilities, including precedence for the sources that are perpetuating a very straight narrative having lied before. I already had a deep mistrust of The Sun when they wrote an article about me without even trying to contact or interview me about the Sex At Oxbridge blog back in 2010, but if you start at the top of who is in control of One Direction, being their record label and management company and go down from there you see the real connections between people like Simon Cowell and Ann Marie Thompson and Max Clifford to the UK press. That’s a very important place to look as the only reason for the closeting of a celebrity is money, so blame the people who control the money. 

There are a lot of people who definitely say things that I disagree with in regards to what they think is going on, but I typically tend to just ignore it or unfollow those people. The great thing about Tumblr is that you can shape your own experience on here so I feel very grateful that my dash is a mixture of amazing art, dogs, Larry, Ziam and really random humour. 

When it comes down to it you have to use your own judgement to build your beliefs off of. Like I said, my beliefs could exist easily outside of the realm of anyone else’s opinions since all I’d have to do is take a look at their tattoos, some YouTube videos of how they act around each other, the Paris interview, their tweets, and RBB and SBB. I mean really the tattoos are sufficient proof for me, but I suppose not everyone thinks that a lifelong commitment on your skin is indicative of romance, so…yeah. 

Hope this helps! xx

anonymous asked:

I saw your ERS being josh-centric post and I agree! Do you have a theory/thoughts on that? You always seem to know what's going on which is why I'm asking you!

hi!! i’m not sure if my thoughts can be classified as a theory but here’s what i was thinking:

everyone’s saying the blurryface era is over but i disagree. emotional roadshow seems like it’s exploring what essentially is josh’s version of blurryface. tyler’s blurryface was defeated when the blurryface tour ended and they reminded us by posting this picture (which is a response to that blue blurryface tweet)

tyler’s in blue!! but guess who’s in red? yep.

in the new polarize intro video we saw demons following josh and telling him not to go on stage [which might be addressing his stage anxiety ?? i’m assuming??] and i think that was an insight into how josh’s blurryface affects him.

josh is getting a lot of time centre stage where his drums can’t offer some sort of emotional protection and i think that’s kind of a sign of how he’s really trying to fight back and not let blurryface consume him or it might just be because everybody loves josh and we want to see more of him

one of my friends pointed out that josh was wearing a lot more red during the show and in the tags of my post, @emotionalroadcrew mentioned that synaesthetically the word ‘blurryface’ is lot like tyler and the words ‘emotional roadshow’ is very similar to josh which i found pretty interesting!!

i’m pretty sure josh’s choreographed drum routine with the hazmat dudes has some sort of meaning too (i mean we’re talking about twenty one pilots here. they can be pretty Extra at times not that i’m complaining!!)

((also just an afterword: i’m really glad that we’re exploring josh’s ‘blurryface’ but for a blurryface to be explored, it needs to exist. i hope josh knows that we love him and support him))

masksandmirrors  asked:

Hi, I'm doing my university dissertation on the representation of women in ASOIAF and Game of Thrones and I just wanted to say that I've found your posts on it absolutely fascinating and inspiring. Whenever I am hesitant or doubt my views on the women's mistreatment I go back and read your posts and the doubts clear from my mind, so I wanted to thank you. Do you also know of any critical material that may be useful when looking at gender? Thank you so much! Have a lovely day :D

I can’t tell you how flattering this message is, thank you! Criticizing ASOIAF’s handling of female characters is something that generates a lot of ridicule online, so I have to admit that I doubt myself at times, but I have such wonderful and supportive followers; so many kind people have taken the time to tell me that they share these views, or that my posts helped them put their discomfort with certain aspects of the series into words. So I’m happy to be able to say that you’re far from alone in your views! I would be so excited to read your dissertation if you feel like sharing after you’re done!

I only know of a few things that look at gender in ASOIAF critically. I will link them under the cut, and maybe my followers could please recommend more? Maybe both specifically for ASOIAF, and for general analysis of gender? 

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