i'm not really sure what i'm doing i'm just really bored

anonymous asked:

I'm making some changes to my paracosm, and I decided to make magic a larger "thing" in it. How much magic do you think is *too* much? I'm thinking about magic influencing the land that people inhabit, and magic influencing people's lives. Now, everything would have a plausible explanation (magic in my paracosm has a set of rules), but I'm afraid to fall into the "deus ex machina" territory. When should we stop using the "It's magic!" explanation for improbable stuff?

Werew:

There is no such thing as too much or too little magic. 

When creating a world, incorporate as much or as little magic as you want. It’s yours, and you can do anything with it! And in fact, magic is a fantastic explanation if you want improbable things to be a part of life in your world. 

The only thing you need to do when working with heavy-magic worlds is make sure to have internal consistency, and make sure to make it all make sense (if your world is one where things make sense. Sometimes it’s best to just handwave things, and preposterous stories can be a lot of fun! It’s mostly stylistic choice at that point). You mentioned that everything follows a set of rules, so it sounds like you’re well down this path already. 

A few things to avoid so that your magic-heavy world will not annoy your readers: 

Follow Your Rules. If something always happens a certain way, do not deviate from that rule unless you have a legitimate explanation for why it can do so. Stories that focus on a breaking of an established rule can be really neat, and breaking your own rules can be fun, but you have to explain why. If, in your world, someone can use fire or water magic but never both, and then a character shows up who does, you need to have an explanation behind that (this can vary; supernatural forces, rare and not-well-known circumstances, misunderstanding of the rule by the general public, etc, as long as the explanation is there).

Don’t Make it Convenient. If the magic in your world solves everyone’s problems and never causes more problems, it will be boring. If magic is powerful, think about what kind of social implications it might have, especially if not everyone has access to it equally. If you implement magic in a way that solves one problem, try to at least give it the potential to cause other ones. 

Also, if you need something to happen for plot reasons (someone needs to die, a battle needs to be lost, an event must play out without intervention) and it is possible for that event to be stopped or changed with magic, make sure you have a reason that it didn’t get changed. It drives me up the wall when powerful characters don’t use their powers at crucial moments for no apparent reason, and everything gets screwed up as a result. If your character can see through walls, there’s no reason for her to peek around a door and get spotted by the bad guy. However, this is not to say that events like this cannot happen! Maybe the character who can see through walls is being pursued by someone who can sense her magic if she uses it, so it’s actually less risky to try to peek around the door. Alternate explanations can be fun, and they won’t irritate your readers like it will if someone conveniently forgets to use their magic. 

Make it Part of Life. If you’re going to have the land and the lives of people influenced by magic, make this influence show up in a lot of little ways, and try to make it a dynamic aspect of the world, instead of leaving it static. What if there is a magically very fertile land, but in order for it to remain fertile, certain trees have to be left untouched? What if everyone knows that, but then lightning strikes one of them and it dies? 

If a mountain is held up by magic, is it safe to dig a tunnel through it, or will that disrupt the magic? 

If someone who would otherwise die is kept alive by magic, how does that change their life? Did the magic simply fix whatever was wrong with their body that would have killed them? Do they have to be sustained by an object, and if that object is damaged they die? Are they magically tied to the person who may have saved their life? 


constablewrites: 

I think the most important way to stop magic from killing all your tension is to make sure the magic has a cost. Perhaps it’s unpredictable and the characters can’t really rely on it. A character who must cast spells using their own blood can only do so much before needing to rest; one who burns their own lifeforce and shortens their lifespan with every spell they cast will likely come to prefer not casting spells at all unless they have no other options. Spell components can be expensive, rare, obnoxious, etc. It could be that everyone learns a few basic spells and cantrips the same way they learn reading and math, but any significant power requires extensive study and training, an inborn talent, something like that.

Games are actually a great place to look at this. Video games, tabletop RPGs, even some board games–if there’s magic in play, they have to find ways to balance it and keep a character from being too broken and being able to run roughshod over any obstacle in the way. Cooldowns, mana costs, skill trees that cut off certain options depending on which path you take, physical components that get degraded or destroyed with use: all of these are ways to keep the magic users from being able to do whatever they want whenever they want. In fiction these things might not be quite as clearly quantified, but you can still use the concepts (like a sorcerer might not have a defined number of spell slots, but their spells become less effective or even stop working entirely if they push themselves too hard).


Bina: 

Personally, my line for “too much” magic in writing happens when: a) it takes such a long time to explain the function/purpose/execution of the magic that it distracts from the scene/plot/narrative (UNLESS some magical execution happens to be part of the scene/plot/narrative) b) it involves memorizing too many vocab words/rules/quirks of operation to stay on track with the world c) so much gets hand-waved away (author assumes the reader will excuse and accept things as ‘magic,’ and/or that explaining the rules somehow makes it less 'magical’) that you’re left wondering “huh? wait, why did that happen/how was that possible? Magic, I guess…” d) there’s a mostly-magical solution for almost every conceivable problem except the cliche basics, like “can’t force people to fall in love,” or “can’t bring back the dead” (which, imo, are pretty weak constraints by themselves. Like the genie from Aladdin, he’s so powerful except for those things. Materialize an army? Make you improbably rich? Done! BUT they include the bonus restraint of “you only have three wishes” as a much better balance to the magic system).

I guess I can summarize that as “don’t let magic itself steal the spotlight away from more important things, but don’t let it be a mystery either.”

anonymous asked:

Hey I'm kinda new to owning budgies and caring for them and recently I found out seeds aren't really good for them and I'm really worried about what to feed them I've been researching and found some safe fruits and veggies for them to eat but I'm not sure how to introduce them to new things? and what mixture of veggies should i give them? and i kinda don't trust sites because some are outdated or the people giving info are just as clueless as me :/

Seeds aren’t inherently bad, the problem is how much, how often, how, and cages.

In the wild budgies spend all day foraging, flying for miles, digging in trees, scouring Australia for high energy yummies such as seeds, fruits, and really about anything they can find.

When we bring them into captivity…they don’t have to go looking for that food. We put a high energy diet in a dish in front of them and since they’re usually in a cage they never get to burn off those calories, even if they were out loose why would they need to? They’ve got all they need right in front of them!

This leads to birds that are lazy, fat, and bored with a lot of pent up energy that they don’t know what to do with leading to aggression and feather picking.

Diet change does seem like the go-to option. Less energy means less pent up rage! And you can pack in more nutrition too! But diet reform isn’t all you need, because seeds are actually pretty good for them.

So here’s what I suggest for an adult, healthy parrot:

1. Feed in meals. It’ll take some work to determine how much and how often, but your bird should be able to consume all within a limited amount of time. For Rex, I do 2-3 meals a day depending on the amount of activity she’ll do that day. I only give her enough that she can consume all within half an hour. Like I said, this will vary depending on the bird and you need to observe them in order to know what they need. Your bird should be hungry by the next meal, if they’re not digging in you’re giving too much.

2. Variety. Once again, you’ll need to adjust this according to YOUR bird, and consider consulting a vet. From what you should feed most to least but all are important:
- Fresh fruits & veggies. Broccoli, peppers, peas, and spinach. You can feed individually or make chop, don’t feed too many fruits as this is just as bad as feeding too many seeds
- Pellets. Species-specific, a brand like roudybush or Harrison’s, colored ones tend to have more sugar and the dyes aren’t good for them
- Sprouts. Try lentils, millet, or peas, google how to sprout seeds. Feel free to mix these into the chop.
- Grains. Rice (NOT instant rice), wheat, sorghum…can be hard to get your bird to eat but are healthy. These must be in the grain form and not bread or something like that
- Nuts
- Seeds like millet, safflower, canary seed…do as many different ones as you can. It’s a good idea when converting to a healthier diet mix them into the chop
- Eggs, pasta, and other people food can be giving on occasion…sometimes it’s healthy by usually not. Should never be part of their regular diet.

3. Activity. Don’t just open your bird’s door and expect them to burn calories! This is a great time to train your bird, have them recall for treats. Training is so important and lots of fun, and great for stimulating that wonderful mind. Budgies are especially fun to train because they’re so little and fast, you can have them do all sorts of flying tricks indoors. I suggest checking out @flock-talk for training tips. For a healthy parrot you really need to keep them flighted, if your bird has clipped wings or otherwise can’t fly then you’ll need to modify the diet to be even more low-energy

5. Foraging. Don’t just give your bird their food! Make them work for it, put it in buffet balls, puzzle feeders, crumbled up (safe) paper, hide it, put it in multiple bowls in different places, have them do tricks for food, anything that’ll make it harder. You’ll need to take it in steps if your bird isn’t used to foraging

Make sure you always check to make sure what your bird eats is safe. You can look that up yourself.

Hope that helps!

neverlookagiftunicorninthemouth  asked:

So... I want to be witchy and practice the craft but I've honestly no idea where to begin. I also don't really have the money to afford supplies like candles and crystals and herbs and stuff (high school student here...) so I'm not even sure if I could practice effectively because of that. I have a couple books, but I'm not sure if the authors are credible or not, so I'm afraid to practice from them. Do you... have any advice or tips?

-big warm smile- Sweetie, come and sit by me. Let’s chat.

First of all, welcome to the community! There’s a lot to learn and a lot of complications and it might take you a while to find your feet, but there’s plenty of folks around who are willing to help. We’re glad you’re here! :)

Now then, supplies and budget concerns. There are SO many witches out there working on a shoestring budget or no budget at all, and they practice just fine.

One of the things that gets fed to us a lot by popular literature and media is that in order to be a witch you need lots of rare herbs and fancy crystals and enough candles to set a small village on fire. Not so. Basic spells can be done with whatever you have to hand. It’s all a matter of working creatively and thinking outside the occult-store box.

You’re a student, yes? So in your accoutrements for school, you’ve got things like paper, pens, tape, maybe some markers and things, right? And your home kitchen, that’s probably got a spice cabinet with some cooking herbs, right? And you’ve got access to the internet (obviously) and a blog.

So…good news! You’ve got everything you need to start your practice.

No candles? No problem! You don’t really need live-flame candles unless you’re working a spell that requires something to be set on fire. You can use LED candles, or a picture of a candle, or a flashlight, depending on what the symbolic need for the item is. Or, if you want, you can skip them altogether.

No herbs? Check that kitchen cabinet. Amazing things can be done with the seasonings that are probably already in your home. Some of my go-to herbs are Basil, Rosemary, Sage, Thyme, Cinnamon, Cayenne, and Ginger, to say nothing of good old salt and black pepper. The spice aisle is a treasure trove for witches on a tight budget, and even more so if you have a local dollar store that carries cheap generic seasonings. You only need a pinch or so of an herb for full effectiveness; a little bit goes a very long way!

No crystals? Again, not a requirement. Some witches work extensively with stones and gems and such, but as with candles, unless you’re working a spell that specifically revolves around the use of a crystal, you don’t really need them when you’re starting out. If you do feel a draw toward crystal magic, small quartz points are easy enough to find as decorative items or jewelry and they tend to be less expensive than most other minerals. (I recommend checking this shop for crystals and such. The owner is a fellow witch and her product is very good quality and very reasonably-priced.)

With paper and pencil, you can work on creating your own sigils, make paper charms or poppets, practice writing spells, or take notes on things that interest you. Blogs are a great way of doing this as well; plenty of witches have blogs that function as digital repositories for their magical learning.

As for the other stuff (i.e. cauldrons, jars, besoms, statues, incense, etc), all that can wait. The most important thing that you can do as a beginner witch is research. And not just with books either. The internet can be a great source of information, so long as you don’t mind exercising those critical thinking skills.

Witchy tumblr has taught me a whole slew of things that I never would have learned from books; some stuff about the community you can only learn from other people, and it largely deals with social awareness and etiquette. Generally, if you follow Wheaton’s Law (“Don’t be an asshole”), you should be fine.

Getting back to books…yes. There ARE pagan authors who are very popular and very problematic. The only two that I recommend avoiding wholesale are Silver Ravenwolf and Raymond Buckland, due to the rampant racism and misinformation found in their rhetoric. There are others that should be avoided for other reasons, but those are the two you see in bookstores most often. (My post on other authors and their issues is here.)

EVERY pagan author is problematic in some way (including me) because there are so many viewpoints in the community about what is and is not acceptable in the craft. Generally, you want to avoid (or at least heavily fact-check) anything that tells you the following:

  • There is only ONE WAY to be a witch / practice witchcraft (wrong)
  • There are only Certain People Who Can Be Witches (fraud)
  • Christians are evil / stole our holidays / burned millions of witches (lies)
  • It’s perfectly okay to cherry-pick whatever you want from other cultures and traditions and cobble it together however you please (NO)
  • You can’t do magic without deities / witchcraft is a religion (try again)
  • You can only do magic for pure good / for the good of others (haha no)
  • In order to be a witch, you must join a coven / undergo initiation / be trained by a person of certain rank / perform certain rituals / own certain objects / work your rituals naked / follow (or not follow) a certain religion / make vows to a certain deity or set of deities (nope nope and uh NOPE)

Whatever you end up reading, definitely supplement that learning with research on practical history (that boring stuff you learn from dusty old tomes) and a good dose of practical botany or herbology (knowing which plants do what so you don’t accidentally give yourself an allergy attack or a dose of poison).

If you’d like a place to get started, I do maintain a website with lots of free information on plant-based cottage craft (the way I do it, anyway) and advice for beginner witches. I also have a book in the process of being published that you might find useful. My two collaborative projects, The Sisters Grimmoire and The Witches Cupboard, are available on Amazon in print and on Kindle.

And if you have more questions, feel free to ask. :)

(Wow this one got away from me. But I hope it helps!)

Ozpin's Ulterior Motives
  • Not part of the RoseGarden Snippet Stories (which will be updated soon)
  • Qrow: Did you just admit to having a crush on my niece?
  • Oscar: *turns slowly, his face resembling Sun's when he was talking about Blake in front of Ghira*: Heh, maybe?
  • Qrow: Listen here, you little punk—
  • Ruby: UNCLE QROW! You're better! *hugs her uncle* And I see you've met Oscar! *hugs Oscar* He's the first person my age I've had to talk to in a long time. He gets me.
  • Qrow: *sighs* Kid, Ozpin's soul is intertwined with his.
  • Ruby: I understand that.
  • Qrow: UGH. Ozpin!! Why'd you have to choose this kid to get mixed up with? I mean, honestly, I wouldn't mind you two together, but really?
  • Oscar: So what I'm getting at is if I was my own person, you'd let me date your niece?
  • Qrow: Look at this face and tell me whether I would let you breathe the same air as Ruby.
  • Oscar: Okay! I feel the hostility coming off of you. Ruby...
  • Ruby: Uncle Qrow! I like Oscar, and I'm sorry if you don't approve. And it's not like Ozpin's going to be inside his head forever! Right?
  • Oscar: Um...Ozpin?
  • Ozpin (in Oscar's head): I can't tell you that.
  • Oscar: I'm not sure, Ruby. I'm sorry.
  • Ruby: It's cool; we'll figure it out. I need to go find Blake and Yang, I'll be back in a few. *skips off*
  • Qrow: *fake smile* Bye, my lovely niece. *waits until Ruby is out of earshot, takes Oscar by the shirt* Okay, listen here you little—
  • Taiyang: Qrow? What are you doing?
  • Qrow: *turns slowly, his face resembling Sun's when he was talking about Blake in front of Ghira*: Nothing! Nothing!
  • Oscar: Honestly...
  • Taiyang: Leave the kid alone, come on, Bartholomew and Peter are here to visit. And they brought Glynda. I think that was out of her free will.
  • Ozpin (in Oscar's head): Glynda's here! Let us go say hello.
  • Oscar: *starts to follow the two men, before Qrow stops him*
  • Qrow: No, a thousand times no. You follow me, I'll make sure you have nothing to see Ruby with.
  • Oscar: Ozpin...asks if that's a threat.
  • Qrow: It is if you want it to be, old man. *walks off*
  • Oscar: I hate talking to that guy.
  • Ozpin (in Oscar's head): Well, you're going to have to impress him if you want to stay with Ruby. I have a few ideas if you want—
  • Oscar: No.
  • Ozpin (in Oscar's head): But—
  • Oscar: We, I mean, I am not going to serenade her.
  • Ozpin: I wasn't even talking about Ruby. I was talking about Qrow.
  • Oscar: What is Plan B? What? Ozpin, why would I sing at all? Plan B...so you're telling me if Qrow makes me leave Patch and Ruby rejects me, I should sing "The Heart Will Go On"?
  • Ozpin (in Oscar's head): I love Céline Dion.
  • Oscar: Who? Ozpin, I'm not singing! Not for Ruby, not for Qrow , not for you!
  • Ozpin (in Oscar's head): Man, and I was really looking forward to hearing you sing "All By Myself"
  • Oscar: Do you want me to date Ruby just so I can sing these...Céline Dion songs?
  • Ozpin (in Oscar's head): You honestly think I would want to be here in your head, bored, watching your weak attempts at flirting with Miss Rose?
  • Oscar: Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.

i just found out what bothered me about a lot of indie horror games (besides the ‘jumpscares over atmosphere’ thing because everybody knows about that)

so incoming rambling

Keep reading

nonpossumplurascribere  asked:

4 weeks? okay, now i'm ashamed! lol while i'm here, do you have any good fanfictions to share? i'm bored and i need to read something really good and well written and i've already read most of the french fanfiction so i'm trying to find some in english :)

oh, do I

Waves are Universal by openended Sam and Jack gate to an alt universe, get together, and nothing bad happens. Oh and they’re friends with their kid

The Dreams We Left Behind by Salr323 Sam marries the asshole, and she and Jack both suffer. Until they don’t. Oh and Kerry is awesome

Retrospective by Salr323 do you want to know how Sam fell in love? Oh and it’s so deliciously long

Cooking Lessons by mrspollifax Jack O’Neill can cook, maybe. Oh and Sam forgets her name when he kisses her

In doorways and dreams, I run to you by NellieOleson Sam, Jack and the rest of SG1 get stuck on a ship. Oh and… they’re connected?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey chash! Sorry to like throw this into your inbox but I'm really having trouble making friends in college. It's been two weeks, and I feel like everyone around me has a bff and I'm just kind of awkwardly wandering through my myself. I'm not really sure what to do. Any advice? Thanks :)

Hey anon, I realize I said I would answer this when I was sober and then didn’t, but I promise I have been thinking about it! It’s a tough question because it varies so much. One thing I will say is that when I went to college, we had these orientation activities where we got groups and went to various places and it was supposed to help you make friends. And it did, don’t get me wrong! I hung out with those people for the first couple weeks of school and we were tight! I had a crush on a dude, we watched Seven Samurai, I was like, hell yeah, I am in college.

And I only really became actual friends with one of those people. Everyone else, we started classes, we got to know room- and dorm-mates, and we made more lasting connections that were not basically “we sure are standing next to each other.”

So my first piece of advice is that even if it feels like everyone else has a bff, it might just be that they have a person they have found to cling to. And it sucks to not have that person! But relationships at the start of college are very volatile. I wouldn’t worry that everyone else has their relationships set and you’re all alone. Probably everyone is still settling in in their own ways.

If you want to meet more people, here are some things to try, though!

  • Joining clubs, if there are cool clubs to join!
  • Trying to talk to people who seem engaged with your favorite class (if/when you have one), who might be the same kind of nerd you are
  • If your dorm has public spaces, do things there! Reading or watching favorite media can attract other people who also like that media, or who are just bored and want something to do
  • Looking for other people who seem out of place. If someone is sitting alone at a table in the dining hall, ask if you can join them, etc. 

Again, sorry for the delay in responding to you, and I hope things have either gotten better or will get better soon <3

My personal thoughts on all of the Nicktoons (so far as of May 2017)
  • Doug: Cute, sweet show. I love it. Sad how it tends to be labeled as "boring" now- it's still a great show. And of course it kicked off the whole "slice-of-life cartoons" trend so that's pretty cool. And yes, I did like the Disney version. But it's nowhere near as good as the Nick version.
  • Rugrats: Probably one of my favorite cartoons ever. Funny, clever, great characters, great music, great '90s aesthetics, and Klasky-Csupo's style is perfect. One of THE best Nicktoons..too bad it got dumbed down in 2001. Ugh...it was such a great show and then I don't know what happened there. Rugrats in Paris should've been the finale. But...even the later episodes are better than it's spin-offs.
  • The Ren and Stimpy Show: While I'm not the biggest fan of most gross-out shows, I LOVE this one. I'm pretty much with Mr. Enter on how most gross-out cartoons seem to be TRYING to be R&S but rarely getting it right. The characters are hilarious and it's so weird, it's funny. But the less about Adult Party Cartoon; the better.
  • Rocko's Modern Life: Amazing show and I'm really excited for the TV movie...whenever that's coming out. I love the visual style, the music, the characters, and I'm sure I love it even more as an adult than I did as a kid (and I did love it as a kid)
  • Aaahh!!! Real Monsters: Another great show (really, Nick was at it's highest point in the '90s, but the early-to-mid '90s especially). Love the characters, the intentionally ugly style...it's just great. Shame it tends to be so underrated.
  • Hey Arnold!: One of the greatest cartoons ever and probably the best Nicktoon ever. I love how it never tried to shy away from more mature themes that other kids' shows wouldn't try touching and it did a great job at it. Looking forward to the Jungle Movie, and of course...Helga was the best.
  • KaBlam!: I loved it as a kid. As an adult, I REALLY wonder why. The wraparounds try way too hard to be "hip", just akwardly shoehorning in references attempting to be the next TTA or Animaniacs, but falling completely flat. Characters were annoying but the voice acting was awesome. I do need to give the show credit for making me a ska fan. Most of the individual shorts kind of sucked but Action League Now! was hilarious and The Off-Beats was cute. And of course...
  • Life With Loopy: Yes I had to give this it's own mention because it's just that good. Nick really needs to give this one it's own series because the campy and surreal nature mixed with the overall sweetness was just a perfect blend, and the animation style was pretty awesome. The title character is just so perfect and so underrated. And I LOVE how aesthetically '90s the whole show is.
  • The Angry Beavers: Another one that's pretty underrated. I always really loved this show. I love all the banter and ad-libbing between Norbert and Daggett. And the music was great. I still listen to "Beaver Fever" and "I Think I Like You" now and again (also...Salem and Zim as beavers. How could you go wrong there?)
  • CatDog: Everyone hates this show but I really loved it. I love the character designs, CatDog themselves, and the theme song is NEVER going to leave my head. Sure, it's no Rocko or Hey Arnold!, but it's still a funny show.
  • Oh Yeah! Cartoons: Unlike KaBlam!, this one had different shorts in every episode rather than just four main short series, so it would take too long to go over all of them (not to mention that a good chunk of them aren't even online!). A lot of the shorts on this show were really funny and had some great visual styles. And Mina and the Count still needs a TV show.
  • The Wild Thornberrys: Really loved this show; I was the "animal kid" in my class so obviously I really liked this one. I just really love Klasky-Csupo. The movie was awesome and so was the show.
  • SpongeBob Squarepants: One of the funniest cartoons ever. While it got annoying seeing it become a schedule clog, the earlier episodes are still great. I heard that it got itself out of seasonal rot (look, let's pretend most of what came in-between the movie and the second movie never happened), but I rarely watch Nick anymore so I wouldn't know. Let's hope so.
  • Rocket Power: Not one of my favorites as a kid or as an adult (I wasn't really into the extreme sports craze), but my friends really liked it so I watched it with them and yeah, I enjoyed what I saw. It does have it's funny moments and while it's incredibly cheesy and way too late '90s/early 2000s that it hurts, it's a fun watch just for the cheese.
  • As Told By Ginger: A great show that I don't think I really appreciated enough until I got older. I guess I was just a LITTLE too young when it was new and by the time I was older and getting more into it...the show got cancelled. It's a really great show and one of Nick's best slice-of-life shows.
  • The Fairly OddParents: Really funny...for the first four seasons. S5 was when it started to slip and everything after that just got worse and worse. I still have fond memories of watching the older seasons and they're still good...but let's hope that jump to Nicktoons meant something.
  • Invader Zim: Great show, great animation, great character designs...did NOT deserve to be screwed over. I'm really looking forward to the TV movie. But...while I do love GIR (though he's not my #1 favorite character), the whole Hot Topic worship of GIR was pretty annoying. Let's face it- 2006/2007 on the internet was a bad time.
  • ChalkZone: Really cute. Admittedly I like the worldbuilding elements and characters a little more than the actual episodes (I did love all of S1 though; I think it was the best season), it's still great. S4 was...not the best though. From what we know about the canned S5, it was probably gonna be a lot better but...Nick had to be Nick. Let us have S5, already. And really- why didn't we get a ton of Snap merchandise?
  • The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius: Good show but I liked the movie more. Had some really funny moments and is so aesthetically early 2000s that it's pretty fun looking back on.
  • My Life as a Teenage Robot: Loved this one and I wish it got more recognition. Jenny was absolutely adorable and she was a hero to me as a kid (okay, looking back...I'm sure I had a crush on Jenny). Sad that the network treated it like shit.
  • All Grown Up!: The special was good. The first season was pretty good. After that I felt like I was reading glorified Rugrats fanfic. All it was really was "Ginger Lite" as ATBG was dealing with the heavier stuff while this was all the leftover stuff. Rugrats was great and had an interesting premise. AGU! was more of the same.
  • Danny Phantom: This was the last Nicktoon I REALLY loved as a kid. A really good show that could've gotten even more awesome had it's own creator not fucked it up. Ugh...I want a revival but PLEASE let it be by Steve Marmel and not Butch. Also Sam was like...my hero...as a preteen. And I've got tons of purple and black in my wardrobe (and the same purple lipstick) now that may or may not have been influenced by her (well, that and/or the fact that those are my favorite colors anyway). Like many others...I totally had a crush on Danny as a kid.
  • Avatar the Last Airbender: Okay, admittedly...I was never into this show. But I praise it for it's themes, animation, story...while I personally couldn't get into it, it still is a great show and probably the last really good Nicktoon for a while. And yeah- we don't talk about that movie.
  • Catscratch: I didn't really see enough of it but what I saw I liked. Wanted to see more but it came and went really fast.
  • The Xs: While the previews for it looked pretty good, I...did not like it. I watched it when it premiered and everything but it was a letdown. Felt like they were trying WAY too hard to make their own version of The Incredibles but with Erin Esurance-esque animation. Voice acting was great though (I noticed that Wendie Malick was the saving grace for TWO bad 2005 cartoons)
  • El Tigre: Okay this was RIGHT around the time I was starting to lose interest/outgrow Nickelodeon. Had a great premise and could've been a really good show and I was looking forward to it, but it felt like tons of other flash cartoons at the time and the voice acting could've been a lot better (great talents- direction-wise though...). Maybe if I were a younger kid when it came out, I would've liked it more, but...it was annoying. But the creator has made some other great stuff and I STILL need to see The Book of Life. I'm kicking myself for not seeing it in the theaters due to my work and college schedule.
  • Tak and the Power of JuJu: Didn't play the games but I already knew the franchise was pretty much dying by the time the show came out. It was awful. And we never heard from Tak again...
  • Back at the Barnyard: The movie had it's problems but was at least watchable. The show was just annoying and unfunny.
  • The Mighty B!: Unpopular opinion, but...I really loved this show. It has problems, but there was something about it I couldn't hate. Bessie was just such a great character. Wasn't a big fan of the grossout elements but otherwise it was really funny. Not a great show, but I was entertained enough.
  • Rugrats Pre-School Daze: YES THIS IS A REAL SHOW. Ugly art style (I'm pissed that K-C didn't use their signature style and went for something more "cutesy"; it just looked awful), bland writing, and really not a very interesting series. No wonder why it only lasted four episodes and didn't even air in the US until 2008 after all the episodes were released direct-to-video as bonus features on those Tales of the Crib DVDs (the less about them, the better). All it felt like was a desperate attempt to keep a dying franchise alive.
  • The Penguins of Madagascar: I was pretty neutral to the Madagascar franchise- saw the first movie in theaters and it was alright; wasn't dying to see the sequels so I never did. The show however never did anything for me.
  • Fanboy and Chum Chum: While I was already losing interest in Nick around 2005-2007, this was right around the time where I was officially done. I was a teenager at this point and not into this stuff anymore, but I stuck around for the old SpongeBob or FOP rerun and well...guilty pleasure Mighty B!. Then they changed the logo. And then this show came out. God...it was SO annoying. Annoying theme song, annoying characters...animation style would've worked a lot better if it was in 2D rather than CGI; it just fell way too deep into the uncanny valley for me. I wouldn't say this was the final nail in the coffin for me though; it was definitely the logo change.
  • T.U.F.F. Puppy: Didn't like it. Jokes weren't that funny. I did love the character designs though.
  • Planet Sheen: Sheen didn't need a spinoff. This was one of the worst ideas ever.
  • Kung-Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness: Liked the first movie (I need to watch it again), haven't seen the sequels but I should. Was bored with the TV show.
  • TMNT: Haven't seen it but I've heard nothing but good things about it. Maybe I should check it out.
  • The Legend of Korra: Heard it was pretty good, but as I wasn't really into Avatar I probably wouldn't be too interested.
  • Robot and Monster: Never saw.
  • Monsters vs. Aliens: Saw the movie and it was...alright. Didn't think it was warranting of a TV series. Didn't watch it.
  • Sanjay and Craig: Saw some of it while waiting for another show to come and...I never wanted to watch it again. Not a fan of the character designs and it was really unfunny. But it's better than Breadwinners.
  • Rabbids Invasion: I did like the Rabbids games as a preteen but...by this time, I don't think they were that popular anymore. Didn't watch it. How is it still running?
  • Breadwinners: Worst Nicktoon ever (so far). Ugly characters, awful animation, shitty writing...how did this get greenlit? Nick...just because "it's for kids" doesn't mean "we can half-ass it"
  • Harvey Beaks: What's this? A GOOD NICKTOON? Yes- it's such a cute show with cute character designs, really nice animation...it's got a nice, nostalgic feel to it while also feeling like something brand new that Nick hasn't done. I'm pissed that it was screwed over.
  • Pig Goat Banana Cricket: Like Monsters, I like how it's "intentionally ugly" and some of the jokes/line delivery managed to be pretty funny, but is otherwise pretty meh to me overall. I'd like it more if I were seven, because hey, that's the show's target audience.
  • The Loud House: I'm glad it has positive representation (thank you for including gay parents in one of your shows, Nick!), but otherwise it's just too bland and cliched for me. Nice character designs; animation could be better. Again, I'd probably like it more if I were in the target audience.
  • Bunsen is a Beast!: Haven't watched it. Don't plan on it, either.

anonymous asked:

okay, so i took the test and got entp, but i'm not sure whether i'm an extrovert or not?? i love meeting new people and i get rly bouncy and energetic and peppy around them, but once i've known people for a while, i start to gradually get shyer and less comfortable around them?? it's as though i start off a full-on extrovert then slowly become an ambivert. ig i'm more of an extrovert bc i feel gross when i'm home alone all day and talking to people energizes me and makes me feel better, but idk?

ENTP does not mean that you are or feel extroverted all of the time. The common definitions of introverted and extraverted do not apply directly to mbti it is not just one way or another. Many people classify as being in the middle, especially ENTPs. 

The E in ENTP actually really shows that your dominant cognitive function is Ne rather than Ti (which it would be if you were an INTP). When you come up to a new situation, a new place, a new time, your initial movement is to find patterns, make connections with what you pick up externally. It is your urge to come up with cool ideas and be obsessed with something new. It is your head in the clouds and the excitement you get with new and fun

But the catch is that even though it’s an extraverted function, it has very little to do with people. It’s not about hanging out and being surrounded by beings. It’s about being stimulated mentally, and this happens with new ideas, new people, and every once in a while we don’t get sick of things! It’s not being around people that energizes you, it’s being around a dynamic environment that energizes you. It’s the new set of conversations you can have, and the new tricks you can play. With people you really like, you won’t get bored because the people can generate new topics and new responses too!

If you’ve noticed, ENFPs are also considered to be very introverted extraverts too… and this has to do with them being Ne doms as well… again, this form of extraversion isn’t about people.. it’s about ideas!

anonymous asked:

Hi there! I'm Jameson and I've been reading Ghost Lights on Patreon and it's so amazing! I'm awful at art but I'm trying to improve everyday and I want to create a comic but I'm worried I'm not skilled enough for were people would like it or read it. Any advice? (Also if you want to know the story line of the comic I would be more than happy to share! 😊) I'm sorry for the long ask!

💕 thank you for becoming my patron, you help me out so much and i hope you’ll like what i post there

one advice i have is: please don’t wait until you’re “ready” because you never will feel ready ; ; pretty sure most comic creators don’t feel like their art is good enough. but the nice thing is that a comic is a living piece of art? it’s not finished and readers get to witness the steps. how do i say it… it grows along with you and the readers. i noticed that my readers find it interesting to see my art improve. while it’s a bit embarrassing for me, they really like even the earlier updates and that’s so relieving!! it doesn’t have to look all great to be liked. better don’t go into it with the mindset that it has to be perfect from the start

there are many popular webcomics with “simple” art styles, too, and they convey exactly what they need to convey and the stories resonate so much with people and that’s why i absolutely think great webcomics can be done well even without amazing art skills. while not everyone with amazing art skills can automatically do an amazing webcomic in my opinion. there’s a different skill set needed and they (would) need to learn that, too

some more tips, but more technical:

plan your story out completely (beginning - middle - end, climax etc.) so you have fixed points, and then stick to them. it will give your story stability and yourself enough freedom to make changes anytime without destroying the whole plot

study panel composition! it’s important that the story flows and that the reader’s eyes won’t get stuck every five panels

speech bubbles are a part of the comic and you can do so much more with them than to put text into. they can be used to show feelings, too~ or place them where the reader’s view needs to be, etc.

try to capture the right moments of your characters so that the plot will advance without getting boring. not every little movement needs to be shown, but some things absolutely need to be shown (i.e. storytelling techniques like chekhov’s gun are pretty helpful). use their surroundings, the environment, everything around the characters to tell what’s going on. it’s all there to help

backgrounds are important but the perspective doesn’t have to be right all the time. really, it doesn’t. it just has to look right, not be right

i think i’ll take this and expand it on patreon with some examples, too! for improving your drawing skills you could do quick pose drawings, study anatomy (from real people), and so on 🌻 or start your comic because you have to draw everything and you can’t just avoid the things you’re not so good at every time. it makes you improve very fast tbh

virulentbunny  asked:

i'd love to hear ur analysis of romsemary's flaws tbh, if ur willing

well, my friend @shut-in-princess summed it up pretty well in reply to the original ask:

Of course the VrisKan part is probably just mine and her’s subjective preference.  I’m also gonna have to put this under a read more because it got way wordier than I was expecting.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! I was looking at your tags for a GOT post and you said you hate Darnerys? Why do you hate her? I don't run into many people who don't like her and am curious. (Truly not trying to start sht, just wondering.) Thanks!

Not a problem. I don’t mind talking about it, though I’m not sure how eloquent it’s going to be lol

I know I’m in the minority bc literally she is the fan fave and obviously going to win and be the queen. Everyone loves her! She’s the best! Blah blah fucking blah.

I love GOT. Like, literally obsessed. I love every damn character on that show - except for her. Sure, I hate Cersei bc she’s cray cray, I hate Littlefinger but LOVE him bc he’s so creepy, and there are other villains I’ve loved to hate. But she’s not a villain. She’s the MOTHER OF DRAGONS and blahblah and I’m supposed to love her! And see, I love GOT’s female characters. I love how they’re strong and badass in different ways. Sansa is my absolute favorite, bc while it’s easy to love Arya for her fierceness and badassery, and love Brienne bc Brienne is literally the best, Sansa is just as fierce. Just in a different way. As a medievalist, I love her characterization bc she fits exactly into the realistic role of a woman of that time, even from the very beginning when she thought her only goal should have been to marry Joffrey. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. My love of Sansa and frustration at people hating her (and fear the show is gonna fuck her up) is a different topic.

Dany - okay, I liked her in s1. I still liked her in s2. Then, I stopped. Her storyline was boring. Okay, so she goes in frees people, and then leaves them with nothing bc she’s got a bigger goal - the same goal as every other stupid face in this show - the freaking iron throne. Putting that aside, bc maybe she can’t help that. She’s trying to do the right thing etc. 

My biggest problem with her is she’s an arrogant, entitled, self-righteous jerk. She deserves the throne bc of her dad and she’s been raised to believe that. Yeah, her family was cray cray. They took it from whoever back like 1000s of years ago. She doesn’t understand Westeros. She doesn’t know it. She’s never even been until she steps foot on Dragonstone again. She won’t listen when people, like Tyrion and Varys, try to explain to her how Westeros works and how they’re not going to just up and trust a random dragon queen, especially a Targareyn. She’s that character I hate, where bad things happen to people around her, but she keeps being entitled. She hasn’t learned, changed, evolved, except to become more entitled and arrogant. Most of the characters have learned and grown (or become even crazier, like Cersei). She’s just I HAVE DRAGONS I OWN THIS KINGDOM I DESERVE IT BLAH BLAH BLAH. All her heroic bs with the dothraki and stuff just made me roll my eyes.  

When she told Jon Snow to bend the knee, I was like BITCH ARE U 4 REALZ? Like, who are you? No one in Westeros. Entitled. Sure, everyone who wants the throne is entitled and arrogant, but gah, she is the WORST. Jon Snow isn’t even close to my fave character (I like him, but I’m always just like, Jon, you’re good at inspiring ppl but not always the brightest), and I was wanting Jon Snow to tell her to shove her DRAGONS and BEND THE KNEE up her ass. And her fight with Varys? Sure, Varys is shady as hell, but he is the best representation of Westeros and the way it works. At least for now. What did she expect him to do? Get killed? He’s a survivor. I thought with her defeats (of course, at the expense of other characters, like Asha/Yara who I like), she’d find some humilty and get knocked down a peg. Nope. Dragon fire and destruction! And hey, BEND THE KNEE OR DIE BECAUSE OBVS I’M THE BETTER QUEEN!!! 

Just…I can’t stand her. Like, do I think she’s evil? No. I think she actually does want to help people. She’s a better option for queen than Cersei and any of the previous ones (though I still think some democracy/council is the way to go and just toss that cursed iron throne off a cliff). But I just hate her. HATE HER. Like I can barely watch her face she pisses me off so bad.

I know I’m like one of 3 people who feel this way and millions adore her, so I’m in the tiny minority. But you asked, so there’s my answer. There’s a lot more that led me to this opinion of her, but without rewatching 7 seasons, that’s all I could come up with. If someone likes her, that’s great. I just don’t lol :D

Observations about white people cooking stuff by a white American

Okay guys. I’m bored and haven’t made an original post in a while so listen up.

I’ve been a white person for a long time now. My whole life, in fact. And as nice as that is, I’ve gotta say, our cooking kinda sucks sometimes. So, I’ve decided to compile a random list of observations I’ve made while being a white person in a white family in a place where a lot if people aren’t white and cook better than us. If you have any more observations add on, do it please. I’d like to hear. Or, read rather.

Keep in mind that I’m Californian with a lil bit of German and Swedish in me culturally left over from the fatherland my family left who knows how long ago and I’m just writing this list because at the moment I’m bored and want to make fun of myself and a bunch of people that kinda look like me and probably have similar eating patterns.

-potato
-We eat rice, but we can’t just eat it plain
-We’ve gotta put butter in the water or something even if we do eat it plain
-We pretend that we can make sticky rice, but we can’t. We really can’t.
-For some reason we really like to pickle things
-And boil them
-Boiled potatoes
-Pickled cabbage, pickled eggs, pickled beets, pickled herring(ewwwwwwew), pickles, pickled red cabbage(don’t ask what the difference is. It’s just red), pickled onions…
-potatoes
-We either eat spicy food or we don’t, and the white people that don’t eat spicy food will cry and complain about something any normal person would swear has no spice at all
-dairy
-Just put milk in everything
-Milk and potatoes
-Milk and rice
-Put cheese on your pie. Put cheese on your goddamned apple pie. Do it. Appease the cheese gods. Cheese on pie.
-Potatoes
-Put cheese on the potato
-Now put sour cream on the potato
-And milk based gravy
-Now smother that damn potato with melted butter and dump out your damn salt shaker on it.
-Congratulations. You’re gonna have heart surgery in your forties. Now eat the salty dairy potato.
-Eat a spoonful of horseradish. Prove your superiority. No? Just me? Okay.
-Vinegar. In chips, in potatoes, in milk, in eggs. Heck, just down a cup of the stuff. It’s good for you, right? That’s how that works.
-Organic and greasy have a similar appeal. They are delicious buzz words that will get us to buy things.
-For some reason some of us put canned vegetables in green jello?
-Yeah I think we do a lot with jello.
-Put fruit in it. That’s probably healthy, right?
-Put hot dogs in everything
-Cook the dogs into your mac ‘n cheese
-Bake it into bread, I dunno.
-Just find a way to put hot dogs in something and we’ve done it
-We put it on our damn pizzas for crying out loud
-PUT FOOD ON A STICK WE WILL FIND A WAY
-Deep fry it Deep fry it Deep fry it Deep fry it Deep fry it Deep fry it
-Asparagus.
-Potato
-Red potato
-Golden potato
-Deep fry the potato
-You can cut potatoes like 135885428934 different ways trust me I’ve done it
-Bake the potato
-Boil the potato
-Burn the potato
-Roast the potato
-Grill the potato
-BE THE POTATO
-Scalloped potatoes
-Cheeseburger pie
-It’s time to get your gluten on my friends. Let’s bake some stuff.
-Have I mentioned deep frying yet?
-Awww. Look. It’s a cutesy sugar cookie grandma spent all day decorating. Let’s spread it all over the house.
-Deep fry the dough. Put raisins in it probably. Put sugar on it. There ya go. You have diabetes now.
-The heck is a tamale pie? It has nothing to do with tamales. Oh well. It’s a tasty mush full of meat and corn and that’s all that matters
-Wait that’s not dessert. I’m getting distracted.
-We call them Mexican wedding cakes or Russian tea cakes, but they probably have nothing to do with either Mexico or Russia
-Fudge time ya sissies.
-Eat the fudge.
-Ambrosia. Full of marshmallows and fruit. I’m sure this is what the Greek gods would have wanted
-Put walnuts in it.
-You can probably grate any kind of squash and bake it into bread with pretty good results
-Why do we use so much powdered sugar?
-I’m moving on to meat
-Bake the meat
-Eat POTATOES with it
-Store bought spice packs because apparently we’re too lazy or untalented to mix or grind the spices ourselves
-Don’t forget the bacon
-Wrap your damn chocolate bacon we don’t give a damn. Put it in your ice cream. Wrap it around a jalapeño. Just get the bacon in there somehow
-Meatloaf and ketchup with POTATOES
-You want lemonade with that? Trick question. Of course you do. Drink the lemonade, Sharon.
-Drink the tea, Katie. Drink the iced tea. I don’t care if you don’t like it. You will. Feed the tea to the children. Give them coffee. They will be consumers. Make them drink it.

That’s all I can think of right now. Please add some more. In the meantime, remember potato.

#Choicescreates23 : How choices changed my life 

I started playing choices around October or November of last year and I remember telling myself “oh this is intriguing and I love the game design but I’ll probably delete this in the following 5 minutes” narrator : She did not.

I came across Choices at a moment where university was too much, I was lonely, away from my family it was my second year and my only friend went back home since she was abroad for the year so yeah it got really lonely. I was willing to meet people but I didn’t have good experiences these past years with friendship, I ended up giving up all together and I just got very depressed and anxious, my grades were average it was a whole new educational system I didn’t figure out and still kind of don’t understand and long story short I needed to escape this. I started playing the freshman and fell in love with the book, I related so much to my Mc, the struggles the banter etc… the only thing I didn’t experience was getting along with my suitemates they were kind of obnoxious and inconsiderate but oh well I had them :’) 

Couple of months later I stumbled across Holly’s blog and I realize a fandom existed, I was addicted to choices and wanted to exchange but I had no one to do it with so I made a blog with the sole purpose to read more things about it and lurk. I think my first reblog was a picture of Zac Efron along with Michael B. Jordan cause I was trying to figure out how tumblr works, I’m such a noob! And my first real post is the edit of Chris I did, took so long to bled his hair haha and honestly I wasn’t comfortable with photshop but it worked out kinda okay and anyway this is what got me started among the fandom. I wasn’t a lurker anymore I had stuff to share, opinions, points etc… I remember thinking and thinking and overthinking “should I just try choicescreates?” after debating and wrestling mentally with myself I just decided to do it anyway,  it had been more than 6 or 8 months since I last drew something, hadn’t drawn anyrhing and I was kind of rusty ! 

I just tried it out for the fun anyway and my first ever art posted is the Zig in the jacket thingy lmao I’m cringing a lot now that I see it but man I stared at it for so long I was blown away by the result cause honestly I wasn’t expecting it to work out my style was way different back then, I was struggling between an anime-ish cartoony style with no real realism, no technique my anatomy sucked and I lacked technique so I didn’t know what to expect and everyone supported it so much I legit cried. Something I wasn’t sure about made me smile for what, a week??? I took so much fun doing it as well that I had that sparkle again I knew what I wanted to do with my blog, so yeah I kept on doing it and doing what I love, more people came to support, I’m part of a fandamily, with the nicest people I have ever met and the most supportive ! I legit wanted to throw up and I had saved the file in my draft I was about to chicken out and never post but I closed my eyes and I hit send and I went to take a shower and I was shaking 😂 when I came back I had all these lovely responses and I cried on my floor I was shaking still!

I never shared my art outside of my family because I’m really insecure about it but hey guess what choices did for me ? I don’t think of myself as a boring person anymore, I have a twin sister and my best friends here, I share my passion everyday and I exchange over something I love, less scared maybe even bolder, more confident in myself ! It basically made me grow up, since I played the game I spoke to several people!

I am proud of myself and of how far I’ve gone, this game made me grow up honestly. I feel like it has taught me several subjects and talking with people with different experiences from mines opened perspectives I wouldn’t have thought of before? It also helped me out with slangs linguistically speaking and man it feels good to understand now and to use them everyday lmao ! haha I have a fun fact about this but I don’t want it to be longer than it already is 

@kittenmusicals‘ post inspired this one since she shared her lovely experience I wanted put my two cents in, is it how you say it?? 

@hollyashton and @texanhusker this is my entry this week

It’s only the beginning of this jouney and I still have so much to learn I’m about to go aboad for the first time and even when things will get too much I know I have people I can count on and this warms my heart 

So Thank you choices and pixelberry for the wonderful journey and the amazing people for all the support for making me feel like I too matter that I don’t have to be scared all the time, to second guess myself that I’m worth more and that I shouldn’t sell myself short oh so often ! It’s a real work on myself, Tumblr is my therapy! 😂

I’m so sappy now, sorry I’m grossely sappy! That’s about it thank you all seriously ! I love you !  ♥️

  • Scene: Altair as the Beast, Malik is Beauty (very fetching in a gown...not really). Kadar as the plot device that brings Malik to Altair's castle to be prisoner forever.
  • Malik: I honestly expected you to be so much scarier what with your frighteningly bad manners.
  • Kadar: how about we not make him angry.
  • Malik: let my brother go.
  • Altair: if you take his place.
  • Malik: ...how about I kill you and then just take my brother?
  • Altair: ...
  • Kadar: ...Malik don't make him angry he has razor sharp teeth and claws like knives. I mean, you're good in a fight and all but he could take you. He's seven foot tall.
  • Malik: fine. I'll stay if you let Kadar go.
  • Altair: Fine.
  • Malik: Fine. SO I'LL JUST BE HERE IN THIS COLD, DREARY PRISON CELL BY MYSELF THEN.
  • Altair: no, you have to go to the fabulous room in my castle
  • Malik: fuck you no i don't.
  • Altair: I WILL MAKE YOU
  • Malik: I cannot believe that bastard is holding me prisoner in this lap of luxury.
  • Altair: I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW UNREASONABLE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES
  • Malik: I can't believe you won't feed me just because I find your company literally repulsive. Why the hell do you even need me here to begin with? Were you getting lonely with nothing but the furniture to watch you throw your temper tantrums?
  • Altair: STARVE FOREVER YOU ASSHOLE
  • Malik: Bitch, whatever, your furniture already likes me best.
  • (Furniture: Dude we are never, ever getting this curse broken, ever.
  • Furniture 2: I miss my arms and legs. Do you think if we drug them and lock them in a room together and they have sex it'll break the spell?
  • Furniture: ...I think if we tried they'd kill one another.)
  • Altair: Since you are OBVIOUSLY TOO BORING TO LIVE, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LIBRARY.
  • Malik: PERHAPS I CAN READ YOU A BOOK YOU ILLITERATE ASSHOLE. OH LOOK HERE'S ONE ABOUT MANNERS THAT MIGHT BE RELEVANT TO YOUR LIFE.
  • Altair: I don't need books I can climb walls with my CLAWS.
  • Malik: I can feel myself growing stupider every day in you company.
  • Altair: SO TOMORROW YOU'LL HAVE THE IQ OF A ROCK?
  • Malik: ...I think you just insulted yourself.
  • Altair: No I didn't.
  • (Furniture: how about a song? we can just sing them into falling in love.
  • Furniture 2: no we have to put one of them in mortal danger so the other one realizes they secretly have feelings for the one in danger.
  • Furniture: ...you just want an excuse to light something on fire.)
  • Malik: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE?
  • Altair: I'm covered in fur, dickwad
  • Malik: I cannot believe my life right now. I am literally rubbing snow on your giant naked body while your fur blows smoke up my nose.
  • Altair: Well, if you'd done something besides stand there and LAUGH we wouldn't be in this situation, would we?
  • (Furniture: oh my god.
  • Furniture 2: song or drugs. these are our choices now.)
  • Malik: did you put something in my food?
  • Altair: What is happening to my penis? Why is this happening?
  • Malik: ...are you kidding me right now?
  • Altair: I GOT CURSED AT LIKE AGE 11 OKAY. IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO EXPLAIN A THING. Seriously though, it like wants to get closer to you.
  • Malik: you are a seven foot tall creature with three inch knives at the end of his fingers I don't think your mammoth dick will be getting anywhere near me.
  • Altair: but it wants you!
  • Malik: ...no.
  • (Furniture: SONG. OUR ONLY WEAPON IS SONG.
  • Furniture 2: *hums a tune*)
  • Altair: So, uh, when I got cursed the lady told me that I had to find someone to love me or I'd die at age twenty one.
  • Malik: When do you turn twenty one?
  • Altair: like tomorrow.
  • Malik: ..............................................
  • Altair: I'm only telling you because the lamps have been following me around aggressively singing about it all night.
  • Malik: at least it wasn't a feather duster with a lonely solo. What kind of love are we talking about here? Like forever or I'd do you for a night kind of love?
  • Altair: I'm not really sure. It happened pretty fast, I opened the door there was this hag and I was like ew no but she got all offended, killed my parents, took my kingdom, turned my servants into objects and abandoned me here as an eleven year old beast-child.
  • Malik: ...I did not think it was possible to feel sympathy for you but I think that's what's happening.
  • Altair: yeah, you'd think she'd be all like: look here child, there's more to life than how things look, or something. I mean I was a child. Also you're really good looking so I'm not sure what the ultimate moral of the story is.
  • Malik: *shrugs*
  • (Furniture: ok, new plan. We're going to storm the village, kidnap the brother and hold him as ransom until Malik declares his true and undying love for Altair.
  • Furniture 2: *takes all the knives* I'm ready.)
  • Altair: I...am not responsible for this.
  • Malik: I cannot believe I'm being forced into a shotgun wedding by a candelabra and a clock. OH ALTAIR THE LOVE THAT I FEEL FOR YOU IN MY HEART KNOWS NO MORTAL BOUNDS.
  • Altair: You could at least try to sound sincere.
  • Malik: whatever. get down here so I can kiss you.
  • Altair: at least I won't die without this final indignity.
  • Malik: ...*smooches Altair*
  • Altair: ...what's happening? *explodes into light, dramatically, entire castle is suddenly sparkling and pretty again, everything is awesome*
  • Malik: ...
  • Kadar: dude! kiss me!
  • Malik: what? No.
  • Kadar: you kissed him and he turned into a handsome prince with a house full of servants and an entire kingdom to obey him. Kiss me, I just want a horse and a girlfriend.
  • Malik: you are ridiculous and stupid.
  • Altair: ha! you liar. You said you didn't love me.
  • Malik: that is not what I said. I said the love that I feel for you in my heart knows no mortal bounds.
  • Altair: Yes but you were just being an asshole.
  • Malik: was I?
  • Altair: I thought?
  • Malik: maybe you shouldn't do that anymore. Now that you're man-sized and non-lethal how about we go to your room and I'll explain the whole sex thing to you.
  • Kadar: could someone untie me tho?
  • Kadar: no?
  • Kadar: that's fine.
  • Kadar: you'll come back eventually.
  • Kadar: ...won't you?
  • Kadar: MALIK!

anonymous asked:

i'm really sorry idk why i'm sending this but i'm really sad about robb tonight? and idk if u have any favourite HAPPY facts or headcanons about him that u wouldn't mind sharing maybe? bc i feel like all the content for him on here is red wedding related and that's bumming me out lmao!! if not that's ok :))

THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS <33

You never have to apologize for sending me an ask, and especially not a Robb-related one. I love and miss him so much, too. And you’re right, most of the content is always sad and/or Red Wedding-related. And there is more to Robb than just the way he… died. So yes, absolutely :)) 

I’m gonna separate modern AU and canon universe headcanons, because I have some for both!

canon: 

  • while in Winterfell, Robb always played games with his younger siblings, mostly to entertain them, but also because he loved spending time with them and feeling a bit less like the future Lord and more like just Robb 
  • he is the sibling to always break up fights and make sure that everyone is okay - not only because he’s the eldest, but also because he’s pretty level-headed and good in a crisis (in this case, crisis means food in Sansa’s hair)
  • Robb’s actual name is Robert, but no one ever uses it for him because a) he’s nothing like King Robert b) it’s too formal and he is just a lot more like a “Robb” than a Robert 
  • he loves to go riding in the woods, and while he loves doing so with his siblings and Theon, he sometimes likes to go all on his own, just to enjoy the quiet
  • he is completely unaware of the fact that some of the young women (and Jeyne Poole) working at Winterfell have a bit of a crush on him, like he has no idea
  • he always manages to cheer his siblings up. he cheers Jon up when he’s called a bastard, he listens to Sansa sob about the sad romance tale she just read, he encourages Arya to do the things she likes instead of the things Septa Mordane insists upon her doing, he encourages Bran with his dreams of being a knight, he carries Rickon around Winterfell, entertaining the little one when he’s bored - and he even listens in when Theon (on very rare occasions) talks about the Iron Islands in a more of a longing kind of way instead of the usual boasting
  • he likes going hawking with Ned, because it’s one of the few occasions on which he actually gets to spend alone time with his father, and they always talk for hours about this and that
  • his favorite thing about being King in the North is not the glory, or the fame, or anything else like that. he loves that he can feel like he’s a part of something, like the men around him trust him and respect him. Robb’s always been very big on loyalty and trust, and he feels that among his troops
  • while at the beginning of his march to save Ned, he tried to keep his (gorgeous) curls at bay somehow, after Ned’s death he just gave up on that and let that beautiful hair do what it will
  • even though he knows that great swords like Ice are very valuable and important to a family name, he never craved Ice for himself, because he recognizes that the weapon isn’t any better than the man wielding it 
  • while Robb has his social side, he also has the quiet side to him, and because of that, sometimes all he wants is to get away from the noise and messiness of being around his men, and to just sit by himself for hours 
  • he likes going into the Godswood, not only because he believes in the Old Gods, but also because it’s something he learned from Ned, and after his passing, it’s something that makes him feel closer to his father
  • ever since he found out he was going to be a father, he fantasized about how it would be: how he could teach the child to walk, to ride horses, to be a good man - or a good woman, he really wouldn’t mind either one 
  • and to end this list of headcanons, he never went to the Twins that night and lived happily ever after, just as he deserved.

modern:

  • Robb never got the fuss about taking selfies - he enjoys taking pics of other people, scenery, food, Grey Wind etc a lot more
  • some say he got into the best college because of his parents’ connections, but it’s just because he’s a smarticle who worked harder than anyone else
  • he doesn’t mind drinking, he does it with Jon and Theon every now and then, but even when he gets smashed, he sort of maintains this politeness and never does anything he might later regret (if you don’t count accidentally stumbling into the Stark house at night and knocking over one of Cat’s vases)
  • he often goes jogging in the woods behind the Stark mansion with Grey Wind
  • he loves snow, and often convinces Jon to build a snowman with him whenever there’s enough snow for it - and he likes snowball fights even more
  • when he got his first apartment, he was so excited about getting his own set of keys that Arya decides to play a trick on him and hid the keys for two days 
  • even though continuing the family business (in my headcanon, it’s a lawfirm) had always been something that was sort of expected of Robb, he actually, genuinely wants to be a lawyer and to build the Stark company even further
  • he reads a lot, he’s read most classics, but he also really likes scifi and fantasy books
  • he has an insanely contagious laugh, you can’t help but to be in a good mood when you see him happy
  • Robb really likes men’s fashion and is always well-dressed and dapper
  • he is always nervous on a first date, but luckily for him, always comes off as very adorable while being so
  • he’s a lot more shy than you’d assume 
  • he’s not the best at cooking/baking but he’s determined to get better, and often cooks with his parents and/or Sansa and Bran
  • when he, Jon and Theon go to a party, he (or Jon) is usually the designated driver
  • his apartment is usually clean, that is, until Grey Wind decides it’s a little too clean and runs around a bit, knocking down this and that
  • he always accidentally spoils his favorite shows for himself by innocently googling stuff
  • he takes a lot of notes during lectures, and his hands are always messy with the ink afterwards
  • he is just happy, okay, just as he deserves!!

wow, okay, that’s enough for now! :D thank you SO MUCH for asking, coming up with these made my day <33

per-solem  asked:

Hi ! :) I know it's not the first time I'm asking for help, but I'm really starting to doubt everything I thought I know concerning myself and the cognitive functions ! I'm absolutely sure I use both Te and Fi. By checking out the different types, I was able to cut down the list to 2 types : INFP and INTJ. And I'm lost !!!!! I can't determine through the functions my type, so I'm asking for help understanding a bit more these two types... Thank you in advance, ! <3

INFPs and INTJs are as different as night and day. One is driven by personal ethics, the other is a collector of empirical logic.

Let me use an example drawn from (my) real life, to illustrate the difference.

You are offered a unique, creative business opportunity – to take over a small store on a local street corner, which specializes in ceramic angels that sell for a high price as collectible items.

The INFP first determines whether or not this is something they take a personal interest in, enough to consider a long-term commitment, because anything that takes awhile to establish tends to become boring after awhile, and they fear being stuck in a rut or failing to make personal progress in life. They decide yes, they can do this… but find it difficult to estimate the value of the ceramic angels, and are reluctant to actively push upon other people to purchase them. They might even feel bad that the angels cost so much. They find managing the financial side of the business somewhat boring, and know they should make more of a profit, but cannot seem to figure out how to do that efficiently without sacrificing their individual needs. Eventually, the INFP either closes, sells the business (for a small profit), or gives it away to someone who needs a source of additional income, in order to pursue the passions they hold more dear.

The INTJ asks for all the facts of the existing business – its financial gains and losses, its profit margins, and considers whether or not it’s going to be successful where it is, on the current street. It scans the block and determines either a) this is a good location and with some hard work, it could be a far more successful business (using online marketing, buying advertising space in niche magazines, and featuring “collectibles”) because the proximity to the main street is likely to cause an industry / gift shop boom in the area once the new hotel opens up down the street, and the city finishes renovations to make it a tourist trap, or b) this is a niche market that demands greater output (financial, and personal time) than it is likely to generate revenues; the street is too quiet, there are not enough other businesses to pull in the amount of people needed to sustain a profit. If the INTJ sees future potential in the business and cares, it accepts and works hard to make it a thriving business; if it does not, it turns down the opportunity without a backward glance. If the business is successful, but at any time fails to get the INTJ closer to whatever their desired future looks like, they will leverage it and sell for a profit.

Feelers consider the emotional impact of their decisions and whether or not they feel “led” to become part of something; thinkers consider the broader business potential or bottom line, and are often driven toward external profits.

The low Si in an INFP, combined with the FiNe desire to create and the inferior Te means they are not often “driven” so much as “work, in order to do what they really want to do.” Work means money, which means I get to paint or write or whatever on weekends. External things matter less to them than the comfort of doing what they love. Everything in them is driven toward doing what they love or what interests them. You may see FP types (particularly NFP) living at home or with their parents longer than TJ types, because the TJ’s Te feels a need to be self-sufficient in the external world / develop a strong work ethic, whereas the FP is more indecisive and reluctant to commit to anything which might limit their personal freedom (moving out means bigger bills and greater responsibilities, which stresses out Ne/Se types, who become BORED in the same job, unless the profit is high enough to enable them time to do whatever they like more). Plus, the Si of the NFP ties them to their roots and makes them reluctant to embrace enormous change; if the current situation is “working,” they don’t see why they need to change it!

I saw an FP take on a business recently that is doing “moderately well” but not turning over a huge profit; she bought it because she a) liked the business and saw potential in it, but also because b) it closing down would mean several other employees, including herself, could no longer work there. Now, since she’s an extrovert, she realizes she’ll get bored with this after awhile, and she’s aware the bottom line is draining her resources (tert-Te), so she’s decided to build it up as much as she can, earn a “five star” rating for it (Te again) and then sell it for a profit (Te). Still, her business decisions are motivated through personal ethics (Fi) that enable her to maintain a certain amount of “freedom” (Se, in her case). She admits that she is “dirt poor, but the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, because I get to do what I love.”

I have many of the same problems; part of me thinks I should “get out into the world more and be successful,” and the higher Fi part of me thinks, “But that’s BORING! And I just want to sit here and write! And talk about personality types! My current situation lets me do that! So I’m staying!” I feel a Te-need to make money, but it almost NEVER pushes me hard enough to actually go out there and push my product on other people or sell them things. I have a really hard time thinking that “my time costs money.” My time, to me, is for whatever I want to do! If I had more Te, I’d be making money off you all by now as an official licensed MBTI consultant / psychologist / expert, instead of giving you thousands of hours worth of free information. =P

That attitude never manifests in my INTJ friends, who understand that society is a free exchange of cost-and-profit – you get something, I get something, everyone wins, that’s how it works. You pay me, you get this service. I pay you, I get that. Your time should go toward something that benefits you in some way, either financially or otherwise, and I’m not doing that for free unless it’s for someone I care about.

- ENFP Mod

gold's joke.
  • Silver: *answers his phone* what do you want, gold?
  • Gold: wanna hear a super hilarious joke?
  • Silver: you have five seconds. enlighten me.
  • Gold: okay, so the masked man, giovanni, professor oak, and red's mom all walk into a bar... silver? you there? ...huh. little stink. he didn't stay for my joke.
  • --
  • Green[f]: *answers her phone* hey delinquent. what's up?
  • Gold: silver hung up on me!
  • Green[f]: gee, imagine that.
  • Gold: i know! he didn't even stay to hear the end of my hilarious joke!
  • Green[f]: huh.
  • Gold: okay, so the masked man, giovanni, professor oak, and red's mom all walk into a bar, and guess what happens?
  • Green[f]: tell me gold... did you design his joke so that it would offend every one of us?
  • Gold: red's mom turns to- wait what? green? ...they must have formed a coalition against me. i guess i'll bug yellow then.
  • --
  • Yellow: *picks up her phone after the fifth call* gold if this isn't an emergency i don't want to talk to you.
  • Gold: it IS an emergency! no one will hear the end of my joke!
  • Yellow: ...Gold, i may seem like a nice person, but i can be really nasty if i don't get my afternoon nap. get the point?
  • Gold: okay, okay, i'll ask Red.
  • --
  • Red: *picks up his phone* hey dude.
  • Gold: you wanna hear a joke? it's super funny.
  • Red: sure, i could use a laugh.
  • Gold: alright! so the masked man, giovanni, professor oak, and your mom all walk into a bar. Your mom turns to the masked man and says, "hot enough for ya?" and the masked man says-
  • Red: wait, you put MY mom in your joke?
  • Gold: yeah! but wait, i haven't gotten to the best part yet! so the masked man--
  • Red: uh, sorry gold, i just remembered i have some training to do.
  • Gold: but you gotta hear this!
  • Red: sorry. maybe next time. bye.
  • --
  • Gold: hey blue!
  • Blue[m]: don't wanna hear it.
  • Gold: but you don't even know what i'm gonna say!
  • Blue[m]: yes i do.
  • Gold: uh, no, you don't.
  • Blue[m]: i know that i'm not gonna care.
  • Gold: oh come on, just listen to my joke!!
  • Blue[m]: fine. enthrall me.
  • Gold: sweet! so the masked man, giovanni, professor oak, and red's mom walk into a bar together and order sundaes--
  • Blue[m]: what are grandpa and red's mom doing with two criminals?
  • Gold: i'm getting there. so they order sundaes and it's really hot out, and red's mom turns to the masked man and says, 'hot enough for ya?' and the masked man turns to old man oak and says, 'you know why i always give the cold shoulder?' and oak says--
  • Blue[m]: gold?
  • Gold: yeah?
  • Blue[m]: you know that, technically, i can kill you, right?
  • Gold: ... point taken. *hangs up*
  • --
  • Crystal: *answers her phone* hi gold! how are you?
  • Gold: terrible! nobody will listen to the end of my joke! they all just keep hanging up on me, even though i made it just for them!!
  • Crystal: oh, i'm sorry to hear that. what's your joke?
  • Gold: okay, so the masked man, giovanni, professor oak, and red's mom all walk into a bar and order some chocolate sundaes. it's really hot out, and red's mom turns to the masked man and asks him this: 'is it hot enough for you?' and the masked man turns to professor oak and says, 'do you know why i always give people the cold shoulder?' and oak says, 'cause that's all you have!' get it crys?!?
  • Crystal: ...... hey gold, i have a joke for you. what do cliff diving, playing with fire, and you all have in common?
  • Gold: ... they're all cool?
  • Crystal: they're all insane. *hangs up*
  • Gold: *sits quietly* you know now that i think about, the joke really isn't all that funny.
spider-man walks into a sushi restaurant with mary jane
  • restaurant owner: super heroes can't eat here what the fuck
  • spider-man: hey ok I get it but I'm not gonna fuck anything up I'm here to chill
  • restaurant owner: ok but if you're here because you're expecting a supervillain to walk in and this is where you agreed to meet up for a fight that's gonna be not fucking okay
  • spider-man: got it man but that's not what this is ok
  • restaurant owner: sure ok. I'm watching you but ok. how are you ma'am
  • mary jane: im fine
  • (now they've been seated, they already know what they want so they're just waiting to order. it's also almost closing time, idk if that was clear, so the restaurant owner is also the only guy working there right now. spidey and mj just want something really quick to eat so they don't really plan to stay after it closes, because that'd be really rude and besides they have an early day tomorrow so they gotta get to bed pretty early)
  • spider-man: hey is that discrimination?
  • mary jane: what? no dude you could just take your mask off walk in here and be fine. you're only wearing it right now because you came straight from looking for crime to fight. you didn't see any though and then you called me and said "today's been really boring mary jane do you want to get some sushi so this day isn't a complete waste" and I was like "sure" and we came right here
  • spider-man: I guess you're right. but wait they know captain america's identity, right? I mean that's common knowledge
  • mary jane: is it?
  • spider-man: I mean I'm talking about the movies. idk about the comics
  • mary jane: yeah me neither
  • spider-man: but in the movies everyone knows that he's...*lowers voice* steve rogers. see I didn't even know if that was a secret. we gotta look that up later
  • mary jane: you could look it up right now
  • spider-man: I don't have my phone on me
  • mary jane: oh duh
  • spider-man: what about you
  • mary jane: my wifi doesnt work, and we used up all the data remember. we have to wait until the 15th
  • spider-man: oh yeah. but how much money is it if we go over the data limit
  • mary jane: it's like ten bucks
  • spider-man: ten bucks?!
  • mary jane: I know it's fucked up right
  • spider-man: idk if it's fucked up but it's a lot, it's like more expensive than you'd think
  • mary jane: oh yeah. definitely. what were you saying
  • spider-man: oh I was saying, uh, oh yeah I was saying what if captain america came in here and his identity wasn't a secret, would they serve him then?
  • mary jane: I guess I don't know
  • spider-man: it seems like he's been through a lot, and he's kind of a huge hero too. everybody loves captain america, right?
  • mary jane: everyone I've spoken too
  • spider-man: yeah. so who wouldn't serve him
  • mary jane: well he's always getting shot at
  • spider-man: yeah
  • mary jane: and getting exploded and stuff
  • spider-man: yeah but I mean he's just like having an afternoon out. or on a date, or something. like if he was doing what we're doing
  • mary jane: it's not the same
  • spider-man: what do you mean
  • mary jane: is he by himself or is he with someone?
  • spider-man: what does it matter
  • mary jane: because he might just be hanging out, or he might be on a date, or he might be plotting to beat up iron man
  • spider-man: oh god are you talking about that civil war shit?
  • mary jane: yeah lol
  • spider-man: you know iron man texted me the other day
  • mary jane: really?
  • spider-man: yeah. I didnt text him back
  • mary jane: what the fuck p-- spider-man you should really text him back
  • spider-man: yeah I know but captain america texted me too
  • mary jane: oh shit. do you think they're trying to--
  • spider-man: I think they're both trying to recruit me yeah
  • mary jane: what are you gonna do
  • spider-man: keep my phone on fucking silent is what I'm gonna do. none of my goddamn business as far as I'm concerned
  • mary jane: that's fair that's probably what I'd do
  • restaurant owner: do we all know what we want today or do you need more time
"american beauty" sentence starters
  • "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
  • "Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
  • "Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
  • "I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
  • "You're right. I suck dick for money."
  • "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
  • "Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
  • "Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
  • "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
  • "When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
  • "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
  • "I rule!"
  • "She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
  • "It's never too late to get it back."
  • "I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
  • "You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
  • "Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
  • "I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
  • "You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
  • "Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
  • "Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
  • "I don't think we can be friends anymore."
  • "Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
  • "You're way too uptight about sex."
  • "I want to look good naked!"
  • "Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
  • "I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
  • "You don't really think [name] and I were..."
  • "Want me to kill him for you?"
  • "I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
  • "I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
  • "Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
  • "She hates me. She hates you, too."
  • "There's plenty of joy in my life."
  • "Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
  • "My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
  • "Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
  • "Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
  • "I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
  • "You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
  • "I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
  • "I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
  • "Who are you looking for?"
  • "This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
  • "There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
  • "Everything that's meant to happen does."
  • "You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
  • "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
  • "Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
  • "I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
  • "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
  • "Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
  • "Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
  • "If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
  • "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
  • "I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
  • "Never underestimate the power of denial."
  • "Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
  • "How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
  • "Jesus, what is it with you?"
  • "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
  • "See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
  • "Don't interrupt me, honey!"
  • "[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
  • "You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
  • "I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
  • "You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
  • "You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
  • "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
  • "Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
  • "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
  • "She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
  • "I think you just became my personal hero!"
  • "Man, you are one twisted fuck."
  • "The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
  • "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  • "I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
  • "I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
  • "Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
  • "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
  • "In less than a year, I'll be dead."
  • "[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
  • "I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  • "I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
  • "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
  • "This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
  • "[Name], are you masturbating?!"
  • "If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
  • "In a way, I'm dead already."
  • "You are so busted."
  • "I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."
  • "Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably."
  • "The car I've always wanted and now I have it."
  • "God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that..."
  • "Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."
  • "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."
  • "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
  • "It would be nice if I was anywhere near as important to him as she is."
  • "Gotta spend money to make money."
  • "I refuse to be a victim!"
  • "I was filming this dead bird."
  • "Do you party?"
  • "Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her/him like an employee."
  • "Could he be any more pathetic?"
  • "I think it's sweet."
  • "You need structure... you need discipline."
  • "He's just so confident, it can't be real."
  • "So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?"
  • "He didn't even look at me once!"
  • "I don't think you'd fit in here."
  • "It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn."
  • "Excuse me for speaking so bluntly, sir."
  • "Oh, I'm in trouble."
  • "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting."
  • "This country is going straight to hell!"
  • "[Name], when did you become so joyless?"
  • "I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."
  • "What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?"
  • "Sorry about my dad."
  • "To you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones."
  • "This is my first time."