i'm not paid to do this

Two days ago I took my dad and his wife out to eat and paid for dinner. First time I paid for dinner and tip and everything for one of my parents. He said he was proud. I thought that would make me feel better about myself and feel like I’m doing okay in life so far but I’m still criticizing myself and I feel like ass.

me in the future
  • my kid: mommy will you sing me a lullaby?
  • me: sure sweetie
  • me: Yekaterina 👄 Petrovna 👠 Zamolodchikova 📢 but your dad 👨 just calls 📞📲 me Katya😘 I'm the bright 💡 red scare 👹 with the long 🍆 blonde hair 💇 always keep them 👨👱 coming back for more 🏃 you're a basic ass hoe 💦 and it's your time ⏰⏳ to go so bitch 🐩 let me show 👉 you 👉 the door 🚪 cause it's me 👆 who's getting laid 👉👌 and I'm always getting paid 💅💰 the only high class 👑 Russian 🇷🇺 whore 😜 I'm a scorching 🔥 hot 💦 mess 🗑 in a skin 😏 tight dress 👗👛 that's a rash 😷 not a herpes sore 😈 Lenin 👴 in the streets 🌴 Dostoyevsky 📚 in the sheets 🌛👣 baby 👶 are you 🙏 ready for this cold ❄ war ⚔☠ Katya 💋 Zamo 💌 lodchikova 😝

So, serious talk.

How is anyone supposed to both have a full time job and be a solo 1d fan?

Like… how?


Remember that time that Niall and I think Harry and Liam were interviewed in New Zealand, and the interviewer asked them what they would do if they were suddenly Mayor of Aukland, like clearly expecting immature king for a day type answers, and instead Niall was immediately like, “well, how’s your public transportation? How much are the teachers getting paid?” and so on and so forth just like, completely subverting her expectations and being funny and smart at the same time?  It makes me happy every time i think about it.  Niall is the best. 

it’s so cute at the end of me3 how sheppy and garrus can get married and adopt babies and sleep in til whenever because they’re retired. hahaha haha..hah :I


I love that you can see Magnus moving closer and putting his hands to Alec’s waist.

(I wish it was more visible in the frame, but if that’s the price to be paid in order to have a closer shot of the kiss — I’ll take it!)


What I wish I knew in High School:

Adult here. Write this down. If you have a weird hobby and your parents have said that you should quit because it’s not “marketable,” consider that there are real people, some of whom I know personally, with the following jobs that make real cash money:

Science writer (me)
Cosplay and prop maker
Stuffed animal designer
Dog artist
Political activist for LGBTQ rights
Political activist for affordable housing
Music licenser
Fan video mixer
Bone cleaner
Sports photographer
Digital hat maker


Shiro Expressions 1/?? (There are captions. I have a sailor’s mouth. I should give that back to them someday. Also I’m not funny. You’ve been warned.)

Some of these I’ve seen other people post before, but some I just haven’t seen enough love for. Pondering doing sets for the other characters, too; there are some great expressions in this show!

Guys (⺣◡⺣)♡*

I’ll be going to South Korea from 9 May to 21 May and I’ve created a temporary twitter account (@dearmyjjk) just to document my travel experiences. 

If you guys are interested in honest reviews of food, shopping, KTX, metro, dog cafes, bangtan stuffs, celebrity stuffs, kdrama stuffs etc… feel free to follow it (and i’ll give a free follow back  (^艸^)!!!). I will be posting about my experiences, the costs, directions, weather etc. 

I won’t be posting selfies at all (rest assured ♡´・ᴗ・`♡) 

Legend: highlights (BTS MV filming sites, BTS stuff, BTS mentions, celebrity mentions, kdrama etc)

Cities & attractions that i’ll be going to:

Keep reading

Bittersweet reunion rp starters(Warning:death mentions and angst) and
  • •"It's been awhile..."
  • •"Long time,no see..."
  • •"How long was I gone?"
  • •"Do you have any idea how long you were/I was gone?!"
  • •"You've/I've been gone for so goddamn long and the only thing you have to say is HEY?!"
  • •"I've missed you."
  • •"Did you miss me?"
  • •"Why are you here?"
  • •"Did you miss me like I've missed you?"
  • •"Why did you come back?"
  • •"Why did you leave?"
  • •"You're the reason why I've returned..."
  • •"Where have you been all this time?"
  • •"I thought you were dead!"
  • •"But you're here and that's all that matters"
  • •"I'm so glad that you're here"
  • •"You owe me an explanation."
  • •"So...what's new?"
  • •"Things have changed since the last time we saw each other..."
  • •"You're not leaving me again,are you?"
  • •"Will we ever meet again?"
  • •"Don't do this again!Please..."
  • •"I'll never abandon you again..."
  • •"You/I shouldn't have come back"
  • •"You/I should've have left"
  • •"I brought you a gift.I hope you like it"
  • •"I'm so sorry for disappearing so suddenly"
  • •"I told you I would come back!"
  • •"Thank god I've returned in time to save you!"
  • •"[insert name here]?Is that you?"
  • •"Are you real?This must be a dream"
  • •"It's been so long since we've talked like this"
  • •"I have no good reason for excusing myself.I'm sorry"
  • •"I left because I...I.."
  • •"Let's sit down somewhere comfy.Tell me all the juicy gossip that I've missed!"
  • •"I have so much to fill you in.."
  • •"Things were much better before you/I left..."
  • •"You know that legendary dog Hachiko?I'm just like him.At least my patience paid off..."
  • •"I've/You've changed..."
  • •"So,how's it going with [enter convention topic here]?"
  • •"I see that nothing has changed while I was gone"
  • •"Nothing ever changes here"
  • •"Suprise bitch!Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me."
  • •"Well...I've waited here like I promised"
  • •"I thought I would never see you again"
  • •"So,what do you want to talk about?"
  • •"You didn't even try to look for me!"
  • •"You left me to die!"
  • •"I/You left because of [insert person/reason here]!"
  • •"I wasn't able to tell you at the time"
  • •"You/I could've at least said goodbye."
  • •"How dare show yourself here after all this time?!"
  • •"Next time,take me with you,ok?"

anonymous asked:

Reigen 'I'm not paid enough for this and I never will be' Arataka. Reigen 'Oh my god do I have to give The Talk to both of my employees' Arataka. Reigen 'Goes to the library and gets the most EMBARASSING puberty and medical books possible with detailed pictures' Arataka. Reigen 'If I'm gonna educate them then I might as well gather the rest' Arataka. Reigen 'Sex Ed for anxious and troubled Espers' Arataka. Reigen 'I need a vacation froM MY LIFE' Arataka

poor fucking guy but sorry one sec this ask inspired me to draw this thing

this is how any sorta sex ed talk would go imo


How is she so perfect?

We are the heroes of our time

a small collection of things my lecturers said/did this year

  • “you didn’t really get off on yeats, did you?“ 
  • "just google it on the internet" 
  • reading out a six stanza ballad and explaining every line
  • “L… G… i can never remember what comes next”
  • tearing up while reading an auden poem aloud
  • an american lecturer: “it reminds me of a snow globe. you guys have those here, right?”
  • asking me if i have a catholic background due to my in depth knowledge of purgatory
  • upon asking a question and getting no answer: “you know, i get paid a salary. i can stand here doing nothing and still get paid”
  • “this girl from shakespeare’s time probably doesn’t want anything to do with the men because she’s a lesbian”
  • “i’m sick, i’m really sick. so if i die, that’s that. very appropriate for a gothic literature class" 
  • me: people shower n eat if they're capable and usually don't get paid to do that, u suggesting we need to be paid to be motivated to do anything. ridiculous.
  • me: actually ... there are people who are paid to shower and eat, lmao, the rich for one, and food critics for two, and sex workers for three, and a bunch of other people i'm leaving out.
  • me: just because someone can make money off of something doesn't mean they need to make money off of it to do it.
  • them: but these are basic necessities!
  • me: yeah so are a lot of things that people have been doing without payment, for hundreds of thousands of years.
The signs as Heather C. quotes (musical)
  • Aries: " showing up here took some guts, time to rip them out :) "
  • Taurus: " you've come so far, why now, are you pulling on my dick? "
  • Gemini: " hello, slut :) "
  • Cancer: " Myriad? Nice. "
  • Leo: " for a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure "
  • Virgo: " well fuck me gently with a chainsaw "
  • Libra: " I'm feeling nice, here's some advice, listen up, BIOTCH "
  • Scorpio: " sHUT UP HEATHER "
  • Sagittarius: " [shouting] IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT CORN NUTS "
  • Capricorn: " I got paid in puke! "
  • Aquarius: " Jesus! You're making me sound like air supply. "
  • Pieces: " I'm like oxygen, I'm everywhere. "
Arranged Marriage Starters
  • "I can't believe I am marrying THEM."
  • "I want marry whoever I want!"
  • "You're not as bad as I imagined."
  • "No. NO! NO! NO! I am NOT getting married to YOU!"
  • "If you touch me I swear you will not live to regret it."
  • "This isn't quite what I expected."
  • "So... now what do we do?"
  • "I don't think I could have dreamed of anyone better."
  • "Let go of me!"
  • "You want me to marry THEM?"
  • "You can't make me go through this."
  • "I want to marry for love, not because I have to."
  • "I don't want to marry them. I want to marry you."
  • "Take me away from this. I can't do this."
  • "Will I like them?"
  • "What do they look like?"
  • "You can't keep me prisoner like this!"
  • "I don't care about your precious alliance."
  • "This is strictly business."
  • "I will never love you."
  • "Wow. I can't believe I'm marrying them..."
  • "I think I fell in love with you anyway."
  • "I would rather die."
  • "You can't make me love you."
  • "I love someone else!"
  • "Perhaps we can make this work."
  • "You're not my type."
  • "I'm nervous."
  • "I don't care if they like me or not."
  • "This is stupid. I don't want to do this."
  • "So you just sold me off to the highest bidder..."
  • "I can't believe how lucky I am."
  • "I paid a good price for you."
  • "You will have no children with me."
  • "So, we're doing this?"
  • "They are more magnificent than I could have possibly imagined."