I thought you were already in Prompto hell. What gives?
*wakes up for work and looks at all my drunk ass ridiculousness from last night* … *sighs*
Why am I like this. This may be worse than drunk texting. How did I not lose any followers from that??
Anyway… *clears throat*
It’s true that I would bang all the Chocobros, hands down. BUT… being in their hell is like a different experience. That means it’s no longer in my control, and I’m liable to squeak and fall over about anything concerning them. Ignis hell is eternal. Gladio hell snuck up on me and I’m still mad about that. King Daddy hell runs almost as deep as Ignis hell some days… but I got control over my feels for Prompto. He doesn’t sneak up and sucker punch me in the ovaries like the others.
BUT I STG IF I GET ANOTHER ANON LIKE THIS:
Hypaa…don’t you like me? I want to make you happy. You’re so beautiful and I love to watch you squirm and writhe as you moan while you think of me. I can do things that Gladio and Specs can’t. I have a body that is yours for the taking. I won’t stop until all you can do is breathe. Please let me love you. Let me help you feel good. I just want to lick and suck that clit til all you can do is scream my name. Come to me Hypaa..you know you want to. -Your sinamon roll Prompto
GUILT TRIPPIN FREAK NASTAY PROMPTO WITH HIS SCORPIO ASS! *shifts uncomfortably at the edge of Prompto hell*
What… uh… *coughs* what kind of, ah… things can you do that Gladio and Ignis can’t? Are we talking about their combined lethality or individual prowess? Asking… for a friend.
Wymack didn’t care if he had nine Foxes or twenty-five. He’d stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end.
“Last I checked Andrew doesn’t like you,” Wymack said.
“He still doesn’t,” Neil said, but he didn’t bother to explain.
“Abby wrote me a speech to give you this afternoon. It sounded nice, had lots of stuff about courage and loss and coming together in everyone’s time of need. I tore it up and tossed it in the trash can beside my desk.”
Wymack cleared his throat and scratched a hand through his short hair. “Look. Shit happened. Shit’s going to keep happening. You don’t need me to tell you life isn’t fair. You’re here because you know it isn’t.”
“I want you on the court in light gear in five minutes or I’ll sign you all up for a marathon.”
“I don’t pay for electricity in this place so you can stand around and gossip.”
“Andrew Joseph Minyard, what the flying fuck have you done this time?”
“Answers now, Aaron,” Wymack said.
“I don’t know,” Aaron said.
“My ass you don’t.”
They were all on time, but Wymack and Abby were conspicuously absent.”
“Get your gear and get out of my locker room.”
He looked the other way because he knew how badly some of them needed their escapes to survive.
It was apparently better to be uncomfortable but safe than to trust a stranger with his fractured team.
“Last I checked this was a team meeting, not a gossip circle.”
“If any of you so much as look at the Terrapins on your way past their benches I’ll let you walk home from here.”
“Some people are just hardwired to be stupid.”
Neil had never seen Wymack smile like this. It was small but fierce, as angry as it was proud.
“Why did you pay for stalls, Coach?”
Wymack lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Maybe I knew you’d need them one day.”
Nicky pulled the window down to yell insults, but Wymack threatened him into silence.
Wymack pulled a bottle of vodka out of the bag and put it down beside Kevin. “You have ten seconds to inhale as much of this as you can. I’m timing you. Go.”
Wymack turned on Neil. “Did you or did you not tell me you weren’t going to start a fight?”
“What can I do?” Wymack asked.
…”I don’t know,” Neil said.
“When you know, tell me.”
“Go forth,” Wymack told his Foxes. “Have fun. Or don’t. I don’t care. Just no more fighting, you got me?”
“Andrew spent that night here with me. At first I figured he was mad at Kevin for lying to him, but he was more worked up about you.”
“I didn’t ask for an apology, wiseass.”
Wymack stared at him for an endless minute, then said too quietly, “The fuck did you just say to me?”
“He chose to cross a line. You didn’t. You hear me? You didn’t. Don’t ever blame yourself for Seth’s death.”
Wymack kept Neil away from the microphone, not trusting Neil to behave himself.
“Five points or twenty-six miles. Do the math and decide which one makes you happier.”
“Let’s do this,” he said. “The sooner we kill these bastards, the sooner we can get roaring drunk at Abby’s place. I spent all damned morning stocking her fridge.”
“I have a cleaning crew coming in tomorrow to wash the Raven stench off our court. Let’s get the hell out of here and get wasted.”
“Neil,” Wymack said. “Between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”
“Nicky tried to hug Andrew and almost got himself staked with a kitchen knife.”
“Speaking of unpredictable assholes, when did that happen?”
“When did what?” Neil asked.
Wymack eyed him. “Forget it.”
“Figure out what you two need to cope with this, and let us know.”
“I want one lap for every time you’ve ever said the NCAA’s never had your back.”
“Oh, Jesus,” Nicky said. “We’ll be running all day.”
“Better get started, then,” Wymack said. “Move out, maggots.”
“Be here at six o’clock tomorrow morning,” Wymack said. “We’ve got a game to win Friday.”
[Nicky]: “I can’t understand you. That’s not fair.”
“Think about that the next time you use German at my practices,” Wymack said.
Wymack came out of nowhere and hauled Neil off Riko like he weighed nothing at all.
Wymack answered on the fourth ring. “You have a good reason to be bothering me on a holiday?”
“He sounds like Neil,” Wymack said, “but he doesn’t look like him. I’ll take your explanation from the top and without a side order of bullshit, thanks.”
He stopped fighting to get free; the hands that had been trying to wrench Wymack’s arms off him now held on for dear life.
“Can I let go of you and trust you to behave, or are you going to try and cut your face off again?”
Wymack didn’t say anything about the scars… He just checked Neil over with a clinical eye and poked at every line of stitches for weaknesses.
“He gave me a contract but I wouldn’t sign it. He couldn’t make me sign it. This doesn’t mean anything. I’m still a Fox.”
“Of course you are,” Wymack said.
and of course, mine and everyone else’s personal favorite: