carrie fisher created space in pop culture for women to be not just recovered, but engaged, actively, in dealing with mental illness, including relapsing and making mistakes. the space, the freedom, to be open about not just getting better along a proscribed recovery narrative, but about getting better after you already got better and then got worse again. for that more than anything else, i’ll miss her. she was hilarious and brilliant all the time, but as an essayist she was unmatched and as a cultural voice on mental illness she was invaluable.
Make no mistake, I am also intrigued as hell to know what Rian decided would be “the most difficult challenge” Finn could face after TFA. 👀 🤔 👀 I keep jumping between different ideas. Is it finding his place in the Resistance? Deciding if he should try to save any other Stormtroopers? Figuring out why he keeps having strange visions and dreams…(PLS RIAN)?
Whatever it is, I can’t wait for Finn to walk through the fire AGAIN and come out stronger than ever. 🙌🙌🙌
So I graduated last year and now that I’m enrolling for my “MA” degree I’ve been thinking about those things I regretted from my BA years.
1. Go to class and sit up front. I know, no one wants to be the nerd sitting up front but thing is, lecturers and professors only see the first two rows and that means that they’ll remember you when exams times come. There’s the added bonus that you will be forced to take notes. (Always ask before recording a lesson btw)
2. Make Connections. Sure I got a couple of peers who I still hear from, but the connections I’m talking about here is the old boring guy lecturing you all day long. Start early and make friends with lecturers, they are people too and some of them are really lovely too. Also, it’ll be useful when you’ll have a thesis to write, as most lecturers would rather take under their wing a student they know for sure will be reliable than just risk getting a sloucher. So maybe if there’s you (the student the lecturer doesn’t know) with the same grades of a student that they know already, they won’t pick you. Ah, they can write recommendation letters when time comes and you want to get a certain job or doctorate.
3. Go to Conventions and Panels from experts. I was a International Relations Minor and we were given the possibility f attending various conventions and panels for free or half-price. Moreover my lecturers organised some themselves and invited us all. I only ever went to those that would be in the exam. That was a sad mistake, although rationally, I do live 30 mins of a risky train out of the campus. Anyway, if the thing isn’t too late at night, go!! First off, if you’re not interested in “more” then you’re not interested enough in what you’re studying in the first place, secondly - those conventions is where you can make connections that will come in hand later.
4.Pick up the phone and just ask. College bureaucracy is fucking hell and their websites are even worse so don’t be afraid of picking up the phone and call the administration or whatever they offer as “student care”. I remember my course was experimental still, so we had procedures for the damn bureaucracy that were different from all other courses and they were just all over the place. It was hell, and somehow the administration decided we didn’t need a “how to graduate” faq page like every other course on the course webpage, so they just held this meeting once a year with lecturers that didn’t even know what they were doing anyway (no one did tbh). Of course we all ended up blowing up the stupid administration bureau for weeks until they eventually realised that maybe writing down the whole stuff was easier for every party involved. So yeah literally just ask, chance are it’s a question they’ve heard a billion times before already. (Write an email first, but consider that they usually reply with “it’s written on the website” without even pointing out where. It could be an automatically generated answer tbh)
5. Eat well! I can’t stress this point enough. I’m not saying not to eat junk, but be sure to get all the nutrients you need. Some universities offer blood work for free. Get it tested (stds too, ince you’re at it anyway). If you’re missing nutrients like iron, studying will be way slower and sometimes even pointless. I made this mistake and had really bad chronic fatigue up until a few weeks ago because, yes my iron was not too low, but coupled with my mild anaemia and being a vegetarian it made my life way harder. Sometimes you feel tired and stressed and it just happens that you’re low on some stupid nutrient.
6.DRINK AND SLEEP. okay?? I mean everyone pulls all-nighters close to exams, but don’t stay up for the sake of it (=tumblr). You will regret it the day after and you’ll regret it even more when you’ll have to spend the night studying. Also don’t pull all-nighters the night before an exam. It probably won’t help any and you’ll be dead tired for the exam. AND DRINK WATER. no!, tea and coffee don’t count. you need water to function. Drink 8 glasses everyday, more if you are going to end up drinking alcohol. When you take a break from studying, drink some water. It’ll help restore concentration.
7. Work a routine out and stick to it. I’m not talking about a daily routine, but take into account everything you want to do in your week, scratch out what is not a priority and work what’s left into a manageable routine. Leave “Free periods” in it, so that you will be able to “make time” and work any unexpected event/request/work/whim into your routine. Don’t be to rigid about it, but try to stick to it and tweak and change it as you go. A planner could come in hand, but whatever works for you it’s gold.
8. Make time for yourself. College is gruesome and it will burn you out if you don’t just stop, take a step back and spend some quality time with yourself. I personally drive myself into an early grave way too often, so much that I always end up sick after (and sometimes even during) my exams. Try not to follow that example.
9. Start thinking on your thesis now. Even if it’s 3 years away. Even if you have no clue what you want to work on. Hell, even if you already know what you’re going to do. Write down those weird ideas that come up during class or studying, write down those weird questions you ask yourself at 3 am the day before an exam. Write down those shower thoughts you amuse yourself with. Those are all great ideas. At the end of all your courses, those are all starting lines, you’ll need all of the ideas you have, because thesis is one kind of hell that almost put me off permanently from higher education. Don’t let yourself write a thesis you don’t care for and you don’t like, if you can. Consider that your thesis is the first big actual step you take towards your dream job. Your thesis is something you can use in your career, it a publication you can even quote on your curriculum vitae. Make good use of it.
10. Don’t be afraid to change your course. This is not something I’ve been through but my brother is having a rough time. Sometimes you pick a course and you believe it’s the greatest ever, but six months in and it sucks, one year in and you hate it or you’re failing all your courses. Maybe it’s just not the course for you. Switch course if you can. You can drop out too if you feel that RATIONALLY it is not your path. Just don’t let self-pity and anger make decisions for you. There’s nothing shameful in changing course or dropping out. It might feel like a failure, but college is not for everyone - and your emotional and general well-being should not be strained just for education. Of course you can also take a year or a semester to figure things out, just don’t get lost in the system. Talk to a specialist if you feel the need, they will help.
Stay safe and healthy and don’t give up on yourself.
Here’s part 2 already. I’m kind of proud of myself for writing so much so quick.
Again, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy. Pointing out mistakes and inconsistencies will make me love you forever so please do that if you find any.
Vav sits, curled up with his knees to his chest for a long while after Mad King’s departure.
He can’t stop thinking over the things the villain had said to him about breaking him into his worth. What worth?
Vav doesn’t really think of himself as anything particularly special, there’s not really anything he can think of off the top of his head that he can do that no one else in world can. He’s obviously not being kept here just so he can be kept out of the way of Mad King’s next nefarious plot. If that’s all the villain had wanted he would have had no qualms about just simply killing Vav and moving on.
No, he was here to fulfill a purpose. Something special that he has that Vav clearly can’t see but the Mad King somehow can.
His stomach grumbled loudly as if to break him out of his thoughts. Vav thinks longingly of the lunch (breakfast? dinner? He has no real way of knowing the time anymore…) that had been left for him. He hadn’t even had a taste from the silver platter, not trusting Mad King not to poison or drug him again.
Of course, that was kind of ridiculous. It would be kind of dumb for the Mad King to drag him into an elaborate plot like this only to kill him off in the first day. He also very obviously doesn’t need to keep Vav subdued when he has such a great advantage over Vav. The Mad King has probably meticulously thought out every detail of Vav’s captivity.
He’s left him with no weapons, no way of knowing where he is, or even what time it is, and made absolutely sure Vav would be entirely dependent on him in order to gain Vav’s compliance. (It’s absolutely not going to stop Vav from trying his luck with escape attempts or attempts at contacting his friends though.)
So, in other words, the food is most likely safe and he’s starving himself for no reason other than his own stubbornness in regards to taking handouts from his captor.
Besides, his traitorous mind supplies, it might help him to get a bit of his strength back and help clear his head to have a bit of warm food in his belly. At that thought, Vav sighs and drags himself up off the bed and into the dining room.
The plate is still there looking innocent on top of the expensive looking red and gold place mat. The food has long stopped giving off any steam, probably lukewarm by now. Vav hesitantly pulls out his chair and sits down, before flicking open the rolled cloth napkin containing silverware. He thinks fleetingly of pocketing the elegant butterknife for later use but pushes that thought away when he realizes Mad King probably wouldn’t have given him such an item if he expected Vav to find it useful in someway.
It would have been a stupidly cliche escape attempt anyways, he thinks. Also, experience in fighting the Mad King before now told him it was a bad idea to provoke a physical fight with the man while Vav didn’t have the protection of his gloves or boots.
Instead he gingerly picks up the fork and starts pushing forkfuls of pasta and heavy creamy sauce around his plate as if inspecting the food for contaminants.
“It isn’t drugged if that’s what you’re so worried about.”
Vav just barely manages not to startle this time and keeps his features flat and disinterested when the Mad King slides into the chair across from him. He bites back a demand to know how the hell the villain was creeping around this place so fast and instead opted not to give the Mad King the satisfaction of even being acknowledged
“Not feeling chatty today, Vav?”
He continues to pick at his food in subdued silence and thinks bitterly about stabbing the fork in his hand into the Mad King’s smug face instead of the now cold pasta on his plate.
This goes on awkwardly (at least on Vav’s part) for a handful of minutes. Vav stares at his food as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world while pointedly ignoring his kidnapper and spearing bits of cold (but fucking delicious) noodles with a little more aggression than was really necessary, and Mad King waits idly for Vav to breakdown (Not gonna fucking happen bucko) while tapping an annoying discordant rhythm on the dark stained table top. As if, he’s trying to slowly pester Vav into being sociable.
Vav levels him with an irritated glare and Mad King simply raises a brow as if daring Vav to be the first to break the silence between them.
Vav quickly runs out of patience with putting up with all the tension in the room (again, probably only on his part) and slides his plate away before standing up and retreating back to the bedroom.
He finally snaps when he hears the telltale sound of a chair scraping against the tiled floor which signals Mad King either intends to leave or to try and follow him into his only form of sanctuary in this god forsaken place.
“Why the hell are doing this? Are you really so pathetic you need to kidnap people to annoy all day just to get a scrap of attention these days?”, Vav spits caustically.
For a single split second the villain’s eyes take on a wounded appearance, but it’s covered so quickly by the Mad King’s usual mask of smug coldness that Vav is almost sure he’d imagined it entirely. When his expression slips into one of patronizing disappointment Vav has to resist the urge to try and punch it off.
“I had truly had high hopes that you could behave long enough for a tour of the rest of our new living quarters. But, it appears I must have been wrong.”, Mad King says and Vav’s mind immediately gets stuck on the word ‘our’.
“It seems you may need a bit more time to think on things.”,The mad man says before the previously solid dining room wall splits open and the Mad King steps through into the next set of rooms.
Vav has barely enough time to catch a glimpse of a spacious den and kitchenette before the wall snaps shut once again and he’s left alone.
Well, at least know he knows how the Mad King keeps sneaking up on him.
so yeah I saw Film Gold today. I want to say SO MUCH about it, but I wanna be respectful of people who have yet to see it.
I can say I enjoyed it except that fuckin EXPOSITION TOUR. Especially since narratively we already know nothing is what it seems. I mean i guess it’s nice if you wanna write fanfic or like the animation of scenery, but it felt soooo long. the humor is so great and there were some neat action sequences It’s also kinda frustrating because I feel like the movie whet my appetite without necessarily satiating me, as much as I would’ve liked. i wound up liking Tesoro aka dofladile lovechild after all orz. He’s similar to Croc in that I am now starved of official content for his character and am uncertain if I’ll see him EVER again. I’ll have to save more thoughts for later (even tho blacklist is a thing but hey).
all of the speculation that's made in this fandom regardless of who it's from fails to account for one thing: sometimes writers make mistakes. hell, sometimes writers can't even write well. it's entirely within the realm of possibility that none of our theories will be canon because gatiss and moffat are capable of making mistakes AND not writing well.
Hi anon (sorry I’m late, your ask drowned in all the scraming in my head after watching TLD).
Yeah, I love that the fandom has fun with speculations, it’s good fun reading all the theories. Many of them are really intricate & well though-through, and completely blow my mind. But like you said, in the end, not even the ones that make perfect sense have a better claim at becoming canon, because the writers might make mistakes or they might not write (as) well (as we’d like).
And, at the end of the day it’s Mofftiss’ show, that they’ve been dreaming of writing for ages (etc, etc, old news). What they “should do” or “what makes sense” in the eyes of the fandom might never happen, because they choose to go another route. And that’s part of the fun too, being surprised and seeing the show take on a different, unexpected direction? (Yeah, that’s a question….)
I’m starting to think the writers are okay with leaving us with loose ends and half-told stories? There are so many things I want to know that still aren’t adressed and might never be. Janine, where are you, girl? Sherlock, how did you fake your suicide? Mary, I love you, but what the hell…?
So yeah. Guess we’ll just have to make do with whatever they come up with, and until then, I’ll just scream inchoherently into void sit back and wait.
omg i’m so sorry!!!! i really didn’t realise, i think i just saw shannon and assumed which was silly of me :ss thanks for letting me know about this and jfndjkfn @sxofcrows please accept my apology!! this was really not meant as intentionally mean or rude or anything like that, it was just a complete accident of my own uselessness D:
This also took so long and again guys I’m so sorry I really am. Requested by anonymous. Sorry for the shitty quality I’m half awake.
You were woken up early in the morning to soft whispers in your ear and feather light kisses being pressed to your cheeks.
“Mingyu,” you mutter, trying to push him away but you were still half asleep and missed him completely. You feel his head drop onto your pillow and he laughs into your neck at your mistake, the cute sound making you smile. “Morning.”
“Good morning,” he whispers, draping his arm over your waist and snuggling closer to you. “Happy Birthday baby.”
“Oh god,” you groan, rolling the other way. He laughs again and kisses the back of your neck. “Don’t.”
“Just don’t,” you say.
“Come on. We have to celebrate your birthday. I already got you a present,” he informs you and you open your eyes in interest.
“A present?” You ask, turning over again. You lay face to face, your breath mingling.
“Yes. A present. You have to open it in bed.”
Your face falls as you stare at him. “Is this present sex Mingyu.” You ask bluntly and his face turns shocked.
“How’d you know?”
“Oh my god,” you laugh and hit him in his bare chest. “You’re kidding right.”
“We just had sex last night!”
“I want to again, baby please?” He makes his eyes all shiny and pokes his lip out in just the right way, making you give in with a eye roll. “Yay.”
Mingyu squeals excitedly as he grabs the blanket and pulls it over the both of your heads. He captures your lips in a heated kiss, his body rolling on top of you. Your legs wrap around his waist, your arms around his neck to pull him down closer. His hips push against you as his tongue teases your lips, pushing inside your mouth and tangling with yours.
You could feel him growing hard against you, his body gently rocking forward and causing a soft moan to rumble in his throat.
“Mmm,” he hums, kissing you deeply.
He moves his hand to trail up his tank top you were wearing, his cold fingers teasing your skin. It’s easily taken off and he rubs his thumb over your nipple, making you gasp and tug on his hair when he pinches it. You whimper when he gently twists at it.
“So sensitive baby,” he whispers, pulling away from your mouth to ghost his lips across your collar bones. He bites and nibbles on your skin, licking over the wounds he left.
Mingyu continues further down until he’s able to latch onto your chest, sucking on the nipple he just tortured. You arch up into him and he rubs your sides to soothe you. Your hands fly to his hair, weaving through and pulling. Mingyu groans and flicks his tongue over your bud.
“Mingyu,” you breathe.
He moves to your other nipple and gives it the same treatment, distracting you from his hands dragging your pants down. He leaves them around your ankles but you kick them off, so he pulls away from your chest and grabs your thighs. He bends your legs and hungrily licks his lips at the sight of you.
“You’re already so wet,” he observes, moving one hand and rubbing two fingers over your folds. He brings them to his mouth and moans. “You taste amazing.”
“No time to eat me out. Come on come on,” you urge him along and he laughs, pulling himself through the hole in his boxers and scooting closer to you.
You sigh as he pushes in and he leans over you, his lips sweetly pushing to yours before moving to your neck.
Mingyu grinds into you and you moan. He breathes into your neck, his hands squeezing the backs of your knees to keep your legs bent as he thrusts into you. He pulls out and slams back in, circling his hips and pulling out again.
“I love you,” he whispers, kissing your skin.
“I love you.”
Your skin slaps together and your body jerks with every snap of his hips. Your hands move from pulling on his hair to dragging your nails down his back, a loud hiss leaving his lips.
“Sorry,” you gasp.
“Felt good,” he grunts, shifting his body and burying himself deeper inside of you. You whimper, grabbing onto his shoulders tightly and throw your head back.
“Fuck Mingyu,” you moan.
“Right there baby?” He asks.
“Right there,” you repeat. You listen to the slapping of his thighs against yours, the sound music to your ears as he pushes in and out of you. He moves faster, plunging his cock in and out with speed that makes the bed bang against the wall loudly. “Fuck fuck..”
“Baby girl I’m going to come,” he warns you, and you try your best to squeeze around him, making him groan loudly. You come first, when he bites and sucks on your neck harshly and he follows you. His thrusts slow down and he lazily fucks into you a few times before stopping.
“Mingyu,” you whisper, breathing heavily. He lifts his head up and rests his chin on your chest, looking at you.
“Yes?” He whispers back.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he smiles, leaning forward to give you a kiss. “And happy birthday beautiful.”